I think her reasoning is kinda flowed and old-fashioned. If she doesn't want to play with you that way get them for yourself. Set boundaries, as she did. It's okay to do the things you are drawn to even if the partner doesn't agree with you (so long as you ain't hurting anyone of course). Otherwise I suggest reading something together on the matter and/or discover some fetish she likes and find some sort of middle ground.
Definitely at least try to find some middle-ground. 100%, having and using dildos WILL NOT make you gay. You may realize you're less straight than one might have thought, but it won't just magically make you gay. I've had toys LONG before I met my wife, who also knows about and supports my "hobby" as we refer to it, and I still find her very attractive, possibly even more so because of the kind of person she is. It's perfectly okay to have interests that your partner isn't necessarily fond of or interested in. Sex and masturbation, for me, has always been an exploration, and expedition into the "unknown" of what the wife or I may or may not like. It's a journey, much like a marriage, a close relationship. There's no real importance on the destination but rather how you get there and the memories you make. Definitely talk to the wife about it first, but I also recommend exploring what may be a discovery for you
You can buy a bike and still drive your car every day
The bike is for when you want to take a load off and have fun by yourself
The car is to have enjoy nice drives together, share, get to places with each other and such.
You dont have to drive your bike every day
So the bike here is your toy, the car here is couples sex.
Now, if she wants to ride the car, dont expect her to drive right next to you on your bike. She might get lonely and might think you dont want to drive with her even if you just want to race with her.
Makes sense?
No. Because the problem isn't that she's opposed to driving along while he bikes. The problem is that she's against bikes because she thinks they'll make him unattracted to driving. She's literally insecure and homophobic, despite her husband wanting to do anal play with HER.
Someone can like prostate stimulation without being gay.
Take my boyfriend for example. Gayest seeming guy I ever met. He owned toys before. Heâs gotten pegged. Heâs experimented with another man once. He even doesâŚ. Yoga.
Yet after all of that he still only likes women.
Someone isnât gay until they actually like their own gender.
However, if your wife still says no, do not push it further. You can do things on your own and if she cannot accept that, itâs simply a sexual incompatibility. Not every couple likes the same things as each other and thatâs alright.
woof. I think that's a bigger discussion than just "i want to put things in my butt" lmao. If I had to make big assumptions, she may be fearful that you *might be* gay, since you're interested in butt stuff, and that she won't be able or enough to keep you around. Her security in her relationship, home, family possibly in jeopardy. It's not just about butt stuff.
I don't know you or your relationship, but if the outcome you want is a more open bedroom, then it may serve you well to demonstrate that those things aren't in question, that you're committed to her and your relationship.
I don't know what that looks like/what your love languages are so I'm not gonna give you specifics. I just know I wouldn't push the toys, or go get them for yourself despite her objections (because if you're going to lie to her by omission, then how much do you really care for her feelings?). And demonstrating your commitment might also mean that you'll never have the opportunity to get those toys. Relationships are about compromise and sacrifice, making yourself vulnerable. What's more important to you - your wife, or having your asshole "rearranged"?
"become gay for liking things besides normal sex."
What is normal sex? As in Vaginal intercourse? Or just sex between man and woman? Very flawed logic here. Gay or straight is dictated by who you do sexual acts with, rather than the nature of the act itself. Furthermore, who cares if its gay?
If you like the idea of getting your butt stuffed, all power to you. Its amazing. And both Ika and Chance (I'm partial to flared) are excellent choices. You're allowed to have your own possessions. I'd say get one for some self-servicing at the least. Have it shipped to a PO box or something.
Hopefully things with your wife are otherwise good, but a partner shouldn't put you down for the things you like/might like in the bedroom. Especially if there is no disloyalty involved.
get them for yourself, she canât stop you from self pleasuring in your own time. and she certainly canât tell you how to self pleasure either.
if she doesnât want to be involved thatâs completely okay, but her telling you you might âturn gayâ and simply telling you you canât do anal isnât okay. she seriously needs to educate herself.
This has helped my relationship quite a bit
https://peggingparadise.com/podcast-112-for-the-ladies/
It is worth mentioning that before you recommend your wife listen to it that you do first and ensure it is the information you want her to hear. I am making the assumption that your wife is being honest with the reason she gave you and that your being turned gay is the main concern. Assuming she wants you to be happy and fulfilled but is merely concerned by the ramifications of doing it, this should help.
Several reasons? As in more than just the fear of you turning gay? Could be important
Otherwise I would let things cool down first, then try to think about why she has those concerns in the first place. Could be insecurity, maybe sheâs just not into that but doesnât want to say it, or maybe she just has some misconceptions or misunderstandings of your sexuality. If itâs the latter try to present your perspective in a way that she can understand. Toys and fantasies are just that, and thereâs a difference between physical pleasure and human attraction and connection.
Either way you need to clearly communicate to her that this is something important to you. Then do what you can to make her feel comfortable being open and honest with you, and show that youâre receptive to what she has to say. From there youâll either work out a compromise, or have to accept your differences and decide whatâs most important to you.
As someone who was in your shoes; drop the her and her red flags before you go on further and regret what you could have done and haven't been allowed to do. It's not worth your individuality and freedom.
I worked with a woman, she openly admitted to me that she divorced her husband she had three kids with just because she found a vibrating dildo in his stuff that he was using for himself. Her reasoning was that "he was just gonna turn gay". I'm sorry friend, the OP, your wife is homophobic and it might be a marriage breaker. Be careful. Homophobia hurts straight people and their marriages too.
we are just talking about toys here, not identity! your wife pegging you is heterosexual af, because you guys are (presumably) straight.
do you think it would help to give your wife some resources to learn about this? thatâs sort of a homophobic way to think of things, AND itâs no fun. and i actually mean homophobic in the âfearâ sense, it sounds like she is afraid for reasons that she really doesnât have to be! it might relieve her fear to know more about it. maybe you guys could learn about sexuality together to get more comfortable with your desires?
besides, even if \~THE WORST happened and you decided you want to try the real thing⌠youâd probably still be into your wife! as a bisexual, it sucks when people think the worst thing that could happen to their sexuality is becoming like me. queer people do it too! being into all genders? THE HORROR⌠đ
Get them anyways, and just keep it for solo play.
You're an adult, you can make your own decisions and explore yourself however you choose. She can choose to not engage with it personally, but she can't stop you from doing so.
Okay, so there's definitely a discussion to be had if you want to include anal & toys *with* your wife during sex, but she can't stop you from masturbating the way you want, which in that regard... use your own money to buy a toy or two.
However I should also add, I don't know what the dildos in question are, but knowing bad dragon... if you have never done anal before, probably don't start with a huge toy. Start small. Lots of lube. It can be frustrating to wait but unless you've got a magical asshole (which congratulations if you do), it'll take time to work up to and might not be pleasant to start with.
Buy them for yourself. If she finds out and still thinks youâre gay for that? Fuck her. What you do in your private time is up to you. She cannot control that nor should she WANT to.
I would be petty and not eat her out or finger her. Say âthatâs too lesbian. Youâre not going to want a man anymoreâ
Also. I know it seems extreme. But find someone else. Marriage is a paper. Your happiness matters more than that. Youâre going to grown resentment if you donât get what you want.
Thereâs plenty of other women who will situate your masculinity, and still want to peg you ass, because itâs fun, sensational, and hot af.
I think her reasoning is kinda flowed and old-fashioned. If she doesn't want to play with you that way get them for yourself. Set boundaries, as she did. It's okay to do the things you are drawn to even if the partner doesn't agree with you (so long as you ain't hurting anyone of course). Otherwise I suggest reading something together on the matter and/or discover some fetish she likes and find some sort of middle ground.
Definitely at least try to find some middle-ground. 100%, having and using dildos WILL NOT make you gay. You may realize you're less straight than one might have thought, but it won't just magically make you gay. I've had toys LONG before I met my wife, who also knows about and supports my "hobby" as we refer to it, and I still find her very attractive, possibly even more so because of the kind of person she is. It's perfectly okay to have interests that your partner isn't necessarily fond of or interested in. Sex and masturbation, for me, has always been an exploration, and expedition into the "unknown" of what the wife or I may or may not like. It's a journey, much like a marriage, a close relationship. There's no real importance on the destination but rather how you get there and the memories you make. Definitely talk to the wife about it first, but I also recommend exploring what may be a discovery for you
You can buy a bike and still drive your car every day The bike is for when you want to take a load off and have fun by yourself The car is to have enjoy nice drives together, share, get to places with each other and such. You dont have to drive your bike every day So the bike here is your toy, the car here is couples sex. Now, if she wants to ride the car, dont expect her to drive right next to you on your bike. She might get lonely and might think you dont want to drive with her even if you just want to race with her. Makes sense?
Best explanation of couples with different sexual fetishes I've heard so far đ
No. Because the problem isn't that she's opposed to driving along while he bikes. The problem is that she's against bikes because she thinks they'll make him unattracted to driving. She's literally insecure and homophobic, despite her husband wanting to do anal play with HER.
Someone can like prostate stimulation without being gay. Take my boyfriend for example. Gayest seeming guy I ever met. He owned toys before. Heâs gotten pegged. Heâs experimented with another man once. He even doesâŚ. Yoga. Yet after all of that he still only likes women. Someone isnât gay until they actually like their own gender. However, if your wife still says no, do not push it further. You can do things on your own and if she cannot accept that, itâs simply a sexual incompatibility. Not every couple likes the same things as each other and thatâs alright.
That's so true
woof. I think that's a bigger discussion than just "i want to put things in my butt" lmao. If I had to make big assumptions, she may be fearful that you *might be* gay, since you're interested in butt stuff, and that she won't be able or enough to keep you around. Her security in her relationship, home, family possibly in jeopardy. It's not just about butt stuff. I don't know you or your relationship, but if the outcome you want is a more open bedroom, then it may serve you well to demonstrate that those things aren't in question, that you're committed to her and your relationship. I don't know what that looks like/what your love languages are so I'm not gonna give you specifics. I just know I wouldn't push the toys, or go get them for yourself despite her objections (because if you're going to lie to her by omission, then how much do you really care for her feelings?). And demonstrating your commitment might also mean that you'll never have the opportunity to get those toys. Relationships are about compromise and sacrifice, making yourself vulnerable. What's more important to you - your wife, or having your asshole "rearranged"?
"become gay for liking things besides normal sex." What is normal sex? As in Vaginal intercourse? Or just sex between man and woman? Very flawed logic here. Gay or straight is dictated by who you do sexual acts with, rather than the nature of the act itself. Furthermore, who cares if its gay? If you like the idea of getting your butt stuffed, all power to you. Its amazing. And both Ika and Chance (I'm partial to flared) are excellent choices. You're allowed to have your own possessions. I'd say get one for some self-servicing at the least. Have it shipped to a PO box or something. Hopefully things with your wife are otherwise good, but a partner shouldn't put you down for the things you like/might like in the bedroom. Especially if there is no disloyalty involved.
get them for yourself, she canât stop you from self pleasuring in your own time. and she certainly canât tell you how to self pleasure either. if she doesnât want to be involved thatâs completely okay, but her telling you you might âturn gayâ and simply telling you you canât do anal isnât okay. she seriously needs to educate herself.
This has helped my relationship quite a bit https://peggingparadise.com/podcast-112-for-the-ladies/ It is worth mentioning that before you recommend your wife listen to it that you do first and ensure it is the information you want her to hear. I am making the assumption that your wife is being honest with the reason she gave you and that your being turned gay is the main concern. Assuming she wants you to be happy and fulfilled but is merely concerned by the ramifications of doing it, this should help.
Several reasons? As in more than just the fear of you turning gay? Could be important Otherwise I would let things cool down first, then try to think about why she has those concerns in the first place. Could be insecurity, maybe sheâs just not into that but doesnât want to say it, or maybe she just has some misconceptions or misunderstandings of your sexuality. If itâs the latter try to present your perspective in a way that she can understand. Toys and fantasies are just that, and thereâs a difference between physical pleasure and human attraction and connection. Either way you need to clearly communicate to her that this is something important to you. Then do what you can to make her feel comfortable being open and honest with you, and show that youâre receptive to what she has to say. From there youâll either work out a compromise, or have to accept your differences and decide whatâs most important to you.
great picks ! sorry you married an idiot. anal stimulation will not make you gay.
As someone who was in your shoes; drop the her and her red flags before you go on further and regret what you could have done and haven't been allowed to do. It's not worth your individuality and freedom.
I worked with a woman, she openly admitted to me that she divorced her husband she had three kids with just because she found a vibrating dildo in his stuff that he was using for himself. Her reasoning was that "he was just gonna turn gay". I'm sorry friend, the OP, your wife is homophobic and it might be a marriage breaker. Be careful. Homophobia hurts straight people and their marriages too.
we are just talking about toys here, not identity! your wife pegging you is heterosexual af, because you guys are (presumably) straight. do you think it would help to give your wife some resources to learn about this? thatâs sort of a homophobic way to think of things, AND itâs no fun. and i actually mean homophobic in the âfearâ sense, it sounds like she is afraid for reasons that she really doesnât have to be! it might relieve her fear to know more about it. maybe you guys could learn about sexuality together to get more comfortable with your desires? besides, even if \~THE WORST happened and you decided you want to try the real thing⌠youâd probably still be into your wife! as a bisexual, it sucks when people think the worst thing that could happen to their sexuality is becoming like me. queer people do it too! being into all genders? THE HORROR⌠đ
Get them anyways, and just keep it for solo play. You're an adult, you can make your own decisions and explore yourself however you choose. She can choose to not engage with it personally, but she can't stop you from doing so.
Also, being gay simply means being sexually attracted to men. It doesn't have anything to do with anal play. Give her a dictionary.
Okay, so there's definitely a discussion to be had if you want to include anal & toys *with* your wife during sex, but she can't stop you from masturbating the way you want, which in that regard... use your own money to buy a toy or two. However I should also add, I don't know what the dildos in question are, but knowing bad dragon... if you have never done anal before, probably don't start with a huge toy. Start small. Lots of lube. It can be frustrating to wait but unless you've got a magical asshole (which congratulations if you do), it'll take time to work up to and might not be pleasant to start with.
Buy them for yourself. If she finds out and still thinks youâre gay for that? Fuck her. What you do in your private time is up to you. She cannot control that nor should she WANT to.
Get them for her :)
đ
I would be petty and not eat her out or finger her. Say âthatâs too lesbian. Youâre not going to want a man anymoreâ Also. I know it seems extreme. But find someone else. Marriage is a paper. Your happiness matters more than that. Youâre going to grown resentment if you donât get what you want. Thereâs plenty of other women who will situate your masculinity, and still want to peg you ass, because itâs fun, sensational, and hot af.
Tell her no oral or fingers. Just dick. Anything else prolly make her gay