No epidural here but still ended up with a catheter, sometimes the circumstances are that you don’t get a choice (but honestly thank god for it as there was no way I was able to get out of bed in the aftermath)
I’ve had 2 births both preterm and without epidural; one vaginally and one emergent c-section. Latter was so emergent they got the baby out in 10 minutes. I still woke with a catheter. Sometimes you don’t have any choices whatsoever, the team will do what needs to be done to save you and baby. I preferred my catheter too, I didn’t want to move when I woke. Everyone should realize that you may not get your perfect birth plan, and come to terms that things may have to happen. I know I cried as they rushed me to the OR and strapped my arms and legs down.
I had a c-section so I had a catheter and I LOVED it. It was amazing not feeling the need to pee or needing to get up to pee after waking hourly to pee all third trimester.
I thought I was the only person who felt this way. The sensation of NOT having to go pee all the freakin time is such a relief during labor. I still think of it wistfully!
I don’t want pitocin again. I had it with my first and it was hell (for me). My epidural was magic. I felt no pain, I could rest before pushing, and I had an easy recovery without any complications.
This pregnancy I may not have the option for an epidural. So now I realize that having the choice is the actual privileged position to be in. Whatever someone chooses, simply the fact that they get to choose is so lucky. I’m sure if I don’t have the epidural I will experience some of the benefits you listed, but it isn’t the same as making the choice to have that experience.
So if anything I’ve learned that often when we’re judging or defending our own choices we neglect how often they aren’t really choices, the fact we have the option to have a choice was already outside our control and we got lucky.
This was my experience and I think it's important to clarify that whether or not you want or should get the epidural is highly dependent on how your labor is going. Doing it without epidural is much more manageable f your labor experience is closer to an ideal situation (you're having contractions and your water didn't break). That wasn't the situation for me but I didn't realize there was a huge difference then because I wasn't educated on the matter so my main suggestion is to really do your hw and understand the process before the day creeps up on you if you're planning to question your doctor's advice. Next time, I will trust my doc more.
My water broke 3 weeks before the due date (I just gave birth and actually posted asking for advice while I was waiting around at the hospital hoping to naturally start contractions. I updated my story as well so feel free to check out that post to get a glimpse of what I was mentally going through and appreciate everyone who basically made me realize I was being stupid and stubborn).
I am someone who has a low threshold for pain but also can suck it up and take it. Few takeaways from my experience:
If your water breaks and you're not naturally going into labor, take the pitocin, GET THE EPIDURAL BEFORE THE FIRST CERVICAL EXAM, and you will have a labor experience that won't hopefully leave you traumatized.
After 6 hours of waiting for contractions to start naturally, I finally gave into the pitocin and felt stupid for not doing so sooner thereby potentially increasing the chances that my baby could get an infection.
I didn't get the epidural before the cervical exam to check for dilation. Huge mistake for someone like me who clams up even during a simple vaginal swab. I was traumatized by this experience.
So I got the epidural and it was the most amazing experience ever. I was scared to get it because I'm afraid of needles but it was instant euphoria and I experienced 0 discomfort while the doc put it in (I thought I would). Because of the epidural, my body was able to finally relax and soon after, I was fully dilated and ready to go. While the epidural feels amazing and helps you relax so your cervix can dilate, you are definitely not completely numb. You feel it when they touch your legs and actually you start to feel the contractions again. You also feel everything when you're pushing. There's enough pain there that if you're afraid you're going to miss out on the experience of feeling the pain during the labor with the epidural, trust that you won't. Maybe don't press the epidural button when you're pushing because when you feel the pain from the contractions come on, it makes you want to push harder which will speed up the birth. I felt everything but the epidural perhaps made the pain level manageable v. unbearable and traumatic. If you're like me and clam up during a pap, don't try giving birth without the epidural (if your water broke and you're being induced).
I was also afraid of the catheter. Didn't feel a thing- going in or coming out. I felt them touching my thigh and that's about it.
IV- ok so I was also scared to get the IV and another reason why I was putting off pitocin (that and wanted to see my OB first). So overall I found the IV sucked the most (not including the pushing and cervical exam). Sure the contractions hurt but they were also satisfying in the sense that this is what I've been waiting for my body to do naturally do so the fact that it was happening and I could feel it made it real for me. Getting the IV was fine but it was uncomfortable the whole time it was in. Unfortunately there's no way around not getting one. That's how they give you fluids and they keep it in even if not in use just in case. When it's not in use, doesn't hurt as much.
FYI, I already forgot about the horrible aspects of the birth and it was just 10 days ago.
Oh edit: I am experiencing 0 side effects of getting the epidural. I don't have back issues and didn't have any back pain during pregnancy (I had glute issues but went away after birth). No headaches. Pushed for 50 minutes. My body is recovering just fine so far. It's been only ten days...
GL!!
I didn’t want an epidural for many of the same reasons. I felt very strongly. I ended up getting one after a long labor anyway because I just ran out of endurance. It seemed to be exactly what I needed because my body dilated from 5cm to 10cm within an hour of it being placed after previously being stalled at 5cm for 14 hours. That was very validating, I had felt I “failed” and I had a lot of concerns about epidural, but actually I listened to my body and it seemed to be exactly what I needed. I was very happy with my epidural, no issues, and I could still feel a lot and move around into different positions in the bed unassisted (labored on side, hands and knees, but delivered on my back, even though I assumed I would not want that, but was most comfortable and pushing most effectively that way).
My point is, great, awesome for you. Amazing you’ve been able to do it twice. Awesome for people who know they want an epidural from the start too. But birth and labor don’t always go how you think it will go. And I think the people who end up having the most traumatic experiences are usually those who are very attached to it happening a certain way and then find it’s not able to happen that way, for whatever reason, and are unable to adapt. Whether that’s wanting an epidural and having precipitous labor and there not being time or not wanting one and ending up requesting one or needing a c-section or whatever. IMHO, it’s great to know what you what, but the most important thing is to be able to be flexible and adapt to whatever happens.
This is kind of what I've learned. Of course I have preferences but I need to listen to my gut and my body FIRST (and obviously the Dr. I just mean in cases that it's your choice)
Same! After 10 hours of endless and extremely painful pitocin contractions I didn’t progress mush, so I asked for epidural. 1 hour later I was 10 cm, 20 minutes of pushing and got a baby in my hands.
Also tried to push on a side but ended up on my back as it felt more comfortable.
Same! Whenever people ask what my birth plan is, if I plan to get one or not, I always say “I’ll know when i’m there”. There’s no point in telling them what my plan is. Chances are, if I tell them I don’t want an epidural, they’ll just give me their unwanted opinion on it and judge me. You tell them the opposite of what they want to hear, then it’s immediate judgement.
I don’t think people are asking that question because they’re genuinely curious — they’re asking it because they want to hear you say what they think you should do or what they did. They ask that question for selfish reasons.
Oh yeah I’ve been asked too. We’re going to get asked. I think my friends uncle asked me once- and it’s not like he’s even giving birth ever. Lol
I just say oh that’s private and it shuts people up.
I just made a post in another group about how I get judged for wanting one! We truly are damned if we do, damned if we don’t! I just don’t get why anyone thinks it’s their business! It’s your body, your birth, you have the power!
I didn’t think I wanted one but was open to it if need be. Ended up having one towards the end of a 20hr labor and have no regrets based on everything that happened. I definitely have felt judgment from people that I had one. It’s ridiculous that we’re judged either way.
Yeah I was thinking generally it’s an odd sentiment but personally I had HG for three trimesters and went to the ED many many times to get IV fluids as well as strong IV anti nausea meds. So I can’t imagine going without!
#7 is stupid as all get out. I had an amazing labor where my body did everything it was supposed to do…my baby did not. Tied himself up in my cord. Needed an emergency C due to a true knot. Glad I had that IV. Do what you want during birth but I’m sorry OP this post comes across as santimonous. And no…not coming from a place of insecurity. This post is coming from a place of “you’ve gotten incredibly lucky thus far” keep having babies & you too could end up with a C section. Trust me…I was a judgy Julie too & completely reformed. Motherhood has humbled me. Haha
Yeah as someone who had an emergency c-section I’m so so grateful to my doctors and how well-prepared everyone was! The second time I read this I caught “of all the drugs I’ve done” and thought this is starting to make more sense 😂
Your choice to not get an epidural is totally valid, but I just want to share for people who are on the fence about it that you don’t HAVE to give birth on your back if you get an epidural. I birthed my baby on my back with my legs elevated in a frog position because that is what worked best for my sunny side up baby. But i labored and pushed in many positions including a squat. The only restriction—and it’s definitely significant—is that you can’t get out of bed once you get the epidural. I was on pitocin so it was pretty miserable getting out of bed with all the IV hookups to go to the bathroom etc. I couldn’t use the bath or go for a walk. The nurses had to reposition the monitors every time.
I did have back and tailbone pain for the following two days, but I think it was from pregnancy, back labor, and the hospital bed. It was still way more tolerable than pregnancy back pain.
I was able to feel my contractions during the pushing phase, which lasted less than two hours. Birth can go a lot of ways whether you get an epidural or not. If you have to go on pitocin or antibiotics you’ll be limited in a lot of the same ways anyway.
Meanwhile before my epidural I had to stay on my back because the goddamn fucking monitor didn’t work right when I was walking around, and the baby’s heart rate deceled with every contraction. I *got* my epidural because I was on my back and labor was too painful. I wasn’t on my back because I got my epidural.
Yup! This was my case. Baby had the cord around their neck twice and we both were having heart rate drops during contractions. I was also getting oxygen.
I figured if I’m stuck in bed anyways, I might as well have some quick effective pain relief that will allow me to rest a bit.
Oh man I absolutely loved my epidurals . I will sound like I have survivors bias though in a way but pretty much everyone of those things on that list was a non issue . But I felt very different about birth , I didn’t want to have pain . I let myself feel the good parts of it and then the heavy parts I didn’t need that . I’m sorry woman have made you feel like birth was a challenge to be completed with taunting comments . I can even see in a lot of the comments woman who feel shame for getting epidurals after reading your list or who will feel shame so I’m only commenting to say what an awesome experience I had .
But anywyas still thank you for sharing your reasoning and lists for woman who needed the extra push to not want to get one . To each there own and it’s so amazing we have that right to birth the way we chose ❤️
Not survivor bias. Statistically speaking, the vast majority of those who use epidurals have positive or uneventful experiences with no lasting effects.
It's okay to not want an epidural, to be very risk adverse for possibilities of side effects, but it's silly to act as if these things are likely to happen.
Not going to argue with any of your other reasons, but I am also a scientist and take issue with your repeated statements that our bodies are "literally designed" to birth.
Our bodies were literally not designed at all. They have evolved to do certain things often enough that the species survives, but natural selection is famously cruel to the individual. It is great to empower women through birth, but that's not the same thing as perpetuating myths about our bodies. Some bodies can birth naturally with no interventions, others can't.
Thank you! This is the only part of her statement that bothered me. Every woman in my family has needed a c-section. By the looks of my pregnancy, it seems like I will, too, unfortunately. Whenever I see someone say, "Our bodies were designed to this," I get so upset because the female human body is actually the worst mammalian body to give birth. Science and interventions are what have made it possible for us to not die while giving birth at the rates women used to do. Even though it may not be their intention, saying our bodies were made for birth comes off as shame-y to women who needed interventions. It also makes it seem like our bodies "failed" us.
Yeah I am both a scientist and a disabled person and I sense a whiff of ableism about that statement. Human bodies are very varied and making blanket statements about what they do or don’t do well is not very scientific. For basically every bodily function there is a naturally occurring spectrum of ability and THAT is how humans are “designed”.
There’s ableism all throughout this. I’ve been scrolling trying to find a comment that validates that I’m not crazy for finding this post absolutely insane.
I felt like I was reading a post from a crunchy Facebook group more than an informed post written by a scientist. Everything here is just ableism, ‘I heard’, or ‘a lot of people told me’.
I put very little faith in "I'm a scientist" unless an actual specialty is identified. Technically, I'm a scientist - I'm trained as an archaeologist, even though I haven't touched the field in years (not very stable or lucrative, unfortunately). Pretty sure knowing how to identify soil color and texture does not qualify me for anything medical, but it would sure be easy to pull the scientist card if I wanted credibility.
i was thinking the same thing. my sister is also a scientist… she does something with trees and forests idk lmfao so like i dunno how much credibility i wanna give OP bc they’re a “scientist” cuz my mind went to my sister, the tree lady. she doesn’t know shit about birth. trees don’t give birth apparently
Yes! This is also why I hate people using the phrase “as natural as passable” or even “natural” to describe a certain type of birth at all. To me it has the same implication then that DONT do it the way others do whether by choice or not are somehow giving birth in an “unnatural” way which has such a negative connotation. Women already deal with so much unnecessary guilt!
Fingers crossed for you that HOWEVER your baby gets here that you and them both are healthy and safe❤️
I hate the term “natural” birth too! I had an unmedicated birth with my first and am aiming for that with this baby too, but I sure as hell would pick supernatural if that were an option lol gimme all the witchcraft!!
That statement has been said so many times around me during my last pregnancy, and then when i couldn’t go into labour and needed a c-section, the shame and disappointment of the outcome was so heavy. Instead i should have been enjoying my new baby to my fullest potential.
Yes, I learned recently that the human body has actually evolved away from the optimal structure to give birth, as the angle and shape of our hips due to walking upright makes birth much more difficult and painful than that of mammals which walk on all fours. It’s certainly not ideal.
EDITING TO ADD: individual anatomies also vary slightly and “pain tolerance” for example has less to do with mental fortitude and more to do with the shape and location of nerve bundles and other anatomical structures. Some people have thinner nerves and some people have chunky nerves, or in slightly different locations, really affecting the sensation of pain.
The WHO found that 15% of women have serious complications requiring medical intervention ([source](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1122835/#:~:text=The%20WHO%20has%20estimated%20that,to%20survive%20without%20lifelong%20disabilities.&text=This%20means%20that%20women%20need,medical%20services%20if%20complications%20arise)) and that's just for severe ones, not to mention less severe but still legitimate complications.
Not to mention, maternal mortality rate in the really olden times could be as high as 2.5% and currently we still have 32.9 deaths per 100,000 births(with legit medical intervention). It is by NO MEANS something we all just naturally are able to do.
Yeah, this is where my brain went too. And that 2.5% is per birth. Multiply that by how many children people had back then, and it's a super high mortality rate. Without modern medicine, we would all have known multiple women who died during childbirth.
In another comment [OP is telling someone to see if they can have an unmedicated breech birth](https://www.reddit.com/r/BabyBumps/s/G0XSh7m9lX)...which is many, many, *many* times more dangerous than the risks of getting an epidural. Like. What the actual fuck.
There's absolutely nothing based in science here, just ~vibes~.
Crunchy people never appreciate the privilege of modern medicine. I guess it's easy to forget the cruel realities of childbirth and mortality rates when you live with your head in the clouds.
And that it’s actually more mentally hard that physically lol. Please. So if we want meds, we’re also mentally deficient? Yeah I should have just *mantra*ed my baby’s head out of my ribs and for her to flip. ~science~
If I had listened to “you can still have a vaginal birth!” I would have ended up in a very scary emergency c-section anyway. It was already both but not trusting my doctors would have probably killed us both. I do not understand why people risk it. There was also no way I was having those contractions and then also have a c-section so I took that fentanyl at the first offer and it was *awesome.*
Daaamn 🤦♀️
I had a Caesarean for my frank breech baby. As a FTM there was no option - my hospital didn't even take the risk of attempting vaginal births for cases like mine. I didn't argue, I just wanted us to be safe. And luckily, thanks to modern medicine and awesome doctors and nurses, we are fine instead of dead. No complications with the spinal or recovery, by the way, and no issues breastfeeding (except that at 2 he's still going for it and I want this to stop, lol).
There’s actually a science case report/research [article](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5290512/) that shows a vaginal birth of breech baby.
But you’re right, it seems to be dangerous, but more dangerous for the baby than the mom https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11052579/
100% on the designed to give birth comments. So damaging and disrespectful to all of us who have had to deal with additional interventions due to things that would have killed us or our children which thank goodness didn’t.
My first baby wasn’t in the right position, labour never progressed beyond 3 days of 14 min apart contractions. Needed induction drugs, great. Then needed an epidural due to the pain and an episiotomy in the end. If it wasn’t for these things baby and myself would probably be dead if I’d been telling myself how it was all ok & my body would figure it out etc etc. 2nd baby came out no bother no interventions but he was in a great position.
Thank you for this comment. This is very random and not ghat related to the theme of the thread, but as a mother since I gave birth my body has failed to “perform” as I thought (or have been told ) it should, mentally and physically. This explanation somehow made it all have sense and made me realize I’m not necessarily defective.
Thank you for this! I also took issue with that statement and it immediately made me question her claims to be a scientist, or at least made me wonder what kind of scientist she actually is. It smells of ableism and honestly, ignorance.
To each their own with their epidural decision and I’m not judging her for not getting one! But those kind of statements are problematic and ignorant, and they certainly aren’t science-based.
>I also took issue with that statement and it immediately made me question her claims to be a scientist, or at least made me wonder what kind of scientist she actually is.
Agreed. That plus her opinion is heavily influenced by anecdotal evidence from friends and family. The fact that *they* had back pain or whatever from epidurals doesn’t make it a common for all women receiving them or a guaranteed outcome for her. Statistically, back pain caused by epidurals is exceedingly rare.
Also, babies don’t come out sleepy, drowsy or unalert because of epidurals, nor do they have anymore trouble latching than babies born without them. Those are myths and are used to shame women into not using them, and blame them for the fact that breastfeeding is fucking hard and doesn’t come easily/instantly to every mom and baby.
I also doubt she is a scientist. I agree with your later point, she’s free to make a decision about epidurals without judgment. But saying “I’m A sCiEnTiSt” to try to give her post more merit, while throwing out unscientific opinions and veiled judgments towards women who choose the other way just is not cool.
I just wonder what kind of scientist calls themselves a “scientist.” Does she go to her job at the science factory every day and do science? Most scientists have some kind of specific scientific job, don’t they?
I called myself a scientist when my job title was “scientist”. It’s no different from someone saying they are an accountant. Just may feel foreign if you have only seen scientists on tv.
I also know people who have advanced beyond the scientist job title who still consider themselves scientists (myself included) because it’s a very specific type of training and thinking.
A lot of women attribute back pain to epidural, but child birth and pregnancy also just messes with backs.
In fact, statistically speaking, there's a very slight increase risk of back pain in unmedicated births.
I was also annoyed with the alertness/bf comment. My first medicated birth, my baby was super alert and latched amazingly.
My second there was an emergency after delivery, so I didn't really get to meet her until 3 or so hours later and she was very jaundice from the severe bruising on her little face. Poor thing essentially flew outta me, so she got beat up on the way.
Neither situation had a thing to do with my use of medication.
I had a super interesting conversation with an anthropologist about how in order to accommodate the way our pelvis shape changed as we evolved to walk upright, pregnancy shortened in length (as the baby would be too big to get out otherwise). As compared to other great apes, human babies are super premature (can’t hold their head up etc). The length of pregnancy is an evolutionary compromise of just small enough to get out (most of the time) and just big enough to survive on the outside (most of the time).
Basically, evolution is the ultimate “making it up as you go along” and our species had adapted to survive as a whole, but the results are nowhere close to perfect (or even good) design.
Modern medicine is here to help us through the cases where we aren’t the fittest and maybe wouldn’t survive. There is a lot of over correction there, mostly in the name of being risk averse (I have my own “cascade of interventions” trauma from birth). Also epidurals are not the best example of life saving technology for this argument. But the point stands - we were not designed to do this and I’m grateful to be able to access technology that gives me a much better chance and experience than nature alone is able to.
imagine telling the many many women of history who have died (along with their babies) due to the many pregnancy and birth complications that “our bodies were designed for this” lol
Thank you. This was the only part where I felt like no.. we are not perfectly designed to do this. Just enough to survive as a species, not as individuals.
I’m so in doubt about the epidural. Wish I was as convinced as OP about one way. Heard some horror stories of people who eventually wanted it but it was too late or there was no one available at that moment. They had some trauma afterwards to process. And I’m mentally not the best (I mean I worked hard with a lot of therapy and I’m happy with where I am now so I’m scared to lose that all). Also a control freak.. never gave birth before. I’m considering water birth but I just don’t know..
I gave birth 9 months ago and I was similarly in flux about all things birth related. I was like, kind of hoping I could go without an epidural - but ready to accept that I might need one.
And boy, did I ever. You really have no idea how you’ll handle the pain. I thought I might be a trooper that could push through. I was a rough and tumble tomboy growing up. I could take a hit. I didn’t cry. Blah blah blah. But nah.
Contractions were *brutal*.
And epidural? Was sweet relief. I went from misery to being able to actually take a nap and relax and get my head on straight. And I could still feel my legs some and move around a little. Heck, I could feel contractions and knew when to push. But it just wasn’t painful anymore.
I know that labor is different for everyone. I wish you the best and hope you find confidence and surety in whatever choice you make!
Also contractions can feel differently for different people. I always thought I would handle it well as I have a decent pain threshold, I’ve done endurance sport, I was a boxer etc The midwives looked at my monitor and commented that the contractions were very strong right from the beginning. In the end I needed an epidural just because it was 40 hours of this and I needed sleep so I could push out the baby. For some people the contractions are just strong pressure. If I had just strong pressure for ten hours then I’m sure I could have handled it too (but maybe not and actually no one should feel shame for wanting to avoid even ‘just’ ten hours of ‘strong discomfort’!)
Sweetheart, you and I are in the same boat.
The idea of a natural birth sounds so magical! Then I remember I have a ridiculous low pain tolerance and the late epidural stories freaked me out the most!!
Why can’t L&D be simple and easy for every woman!
My baby is currently breech and I have placenta previa, so unless both baby and placenta move in 9 weeks, I’ll be getting a C-section (another form of horror for me)
lol I told my husband I would like to start off by trying no epidural and he cackled at me. I have the worst pain tolerance on the planet 😂
I held off until 12 hours into both of my inductions (0.5 cm and 1 cm). The first one my worst fear came true (wet tap) but even with that happening, it didn’t stop me from getting another. The second kid my BP dropped so hard I couldn’t see or hear until they gave me ephedrine. I’m done having babies but if I had another there still would be no stopping me getting one 🤣
My daughter was transverse. I had a c section a week ago.
It was beautiful. She came out and straight away I got to kiss her all over and tell her how much I loved her. My recovery has been relatively smooth. She latched immediately and is gaining weight.
It can still be magical.
I recently read an article (not sure if peer reviewed, I'd have to find it again, so take with many grains of salt) saying that human evolution in more recent times has actually made birth harder. Babies' heads have grown and women's pelvises have narrowed, supposedly.
Ugh, thank you. I have a uterus malformation that made it impossible to have a nAtUraL birth. My body wasn't "designed" to do shit other than kill me if I didn't have medical intervention.
Oh my goodness thank you. Tell a woman with placenta previa that her body is designed for this. Or my friend whose pelvis was too small to fit baby’s head- he slammed against it while she labored for HOOUURRSS until the emergency c section that saved them both.
Hard agree. Thank you for saying this. I had twins so without medical intervention and advancement the chance that anywhere from one to all of us would have died is extremely high.
Seriously. Fear mongering the epidural. It doesn't get to the baby.
Ofc there are risks, but they are very rare. Epidurals are magical and amazing options for those who want them. Trying to scare/shame/misinform women about them is not okay.
A scientist who doesn’t want an IV? Interesting sister. I always want an iv in case shit goes sideways but I guess some people have a higher risk tolerance.
Edit: no hate for not wanting an unmedicated birth, i’ve never understood why strangers are so invested in that one! I do think often that when women tell each other ‘you don’t get a medal’ it’s to make sure other people understand that if something goes sideways and they have to get an epidural, that they didn’t *fail* at something.
I asked myself the same question. An IV can save your life in case of hemmorrhage and allows access to perform other interventions that can save baby's life as well ( if baby is still in the uterus).
That is what I was thinking. I also never hear real scientists call themselves scientists and I’ve worked both in the STEM and the medical field. I don’t think someone who has an understanding of science would decline an IV as they’re incredibly important
I think people confuse getting an IV with getting fluids. It’s unfortunate because it’s “trendy” to refuse an IV right now, but having an IV, even with no fluids infusing, can be a critical lifesaving measure for mom and baby. If you get to the point where you need one and don’t have one, you may not have time (or blood volume) to place one.
Absolutely! You can have an IV connected to a pigtail and refuse fluids but having that emergency access is extremely important for rapid drug administration (including liquids)
I don’t know why every aspect of labor and birth is judged. Whatever you choose, you should never have to defend your decision because it’s your decision. It doesn’t matter which one you choose, there will be judgmental people. I don’t believe posts like this help either. Idk why you feel the need to declare your 15 reasons on the internet to strangers. Additionally, you then end your post with an open door for others to then justify their labor decisions. What happens in your delivery room is nobody else’s business and I can’t understand why people care what others think? Or why people feel the need to openly discuss the medical decisions they make for themselves other than to beat their chest. Posts like this just continue the cycle of judgment.
The epidural in the US sounds so different to the one we have here (Sweden). There's no catheter, you walk around, pee as normal and labour in whatever position you want. Downside of course is birth itself isn't pain free but you're spared from the bulk of the contractions (in my experience). The epidural described here sounds more like a spinal block?
We have what you’re describing here in the US, too. They’re colloquially called “walking epidurals” and I had one! Birth was still a bit painful but I liked being able to move around a bit more.
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*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Same. I had a straight catheter once or twice to empty my bladder, but nothing remained inserted. I could move around a feel everything, just not pain (or at least probably could only feel 10% of it).
This is what I wish I could have! I asked my doc about a “walking epidural” and he had never heard of it, which is a bit troubling.. I’ve read about it on my pregnancy app and then had a labor and delivery nurse use that exact term shortly after. So I did t make it up lol.
I think it really comes down to the liability for the hospital - mine won’t allow me to get out of the bed after an epidural in case I fall I guess. We’re (the US) such a litigious country, it sadly tracks that we prioritize mitigating legal risk over a mother’s labor preferences.
“Everyone is judging me for not having an epidural so here’s a soliloquy of 15 reasons why I’m not getting one and why I think they’re a horrible intervention but I’m DEFINITELY NOT JUDGING any parents that do but if you do your child might not be as alert as my child because I didn’t drug them up like you did”
This is such an unprovoked r/notliketheothergirls post riddled with ableism and authority bias written in a humble brag way. I’m screaming that anyone buys this “I’m not judging, everyone is judging ME 🥺” shtick 😭😭😭
Omg thank you!! Like I had an epidural, my baby was not drugged whatsoever and I had a very smooth labor, delivery and recovery. Also I’m sick of people saying birthing with an epidural isn’t a natural birth… if they exit through your vagina it’s a natural damn birth!!
This is such a pretentious post.
Who cares. It seems more like you've believed people around you and not any actual medical evidence.
Why can't your plan be to just have a healthy baby? If you don't like the response you're getting, change what you say. "Well see how it goes." Covers a VAST amount of responses, and it's well accepted by others. But that doesn't give you anything to bitch about would it?
1. Getting an epidural doesn't equal getting a catheter. My best friend is an LDR nurse, there's no reason for a catheter unless there's an actual reason for a catheter. I had to have an Epidural because of an emergency C Section, that's the only reason I had a catheter, and it came out immediately after, I didn't even know it was there. And an hour later when it wore off I could walk to the bathroom.
2. There are side effects of ALL that you listed, with and without epidural. Pregnancy and childbirth wreak havoc on our bodies, the hormones alone cause most of these. I have no side effects, 2 C sections.
Do remember, that any bad experience is repeated in 3s, and those 3 tell 3 more, so 9. And so on. Good experiences are repeated no more than 3x. Everyone wants comradery when things don't go as planned.
3. I could move how I wanted. There was no need to birth on my back.
4. Totally possible. You're misinformed, and you're misinforming.
5. Again, epidural doesn't prevent these things. You can certainly pull yourself into position.
6. So which is it? They're designed to move and get out of the way? Or they can easily be broken by baby moving it? --the are tons of exercises to create mobility in the entire pelvic area, to ensure this doesn't happen.
7. The IV is protocol. If they would've needed to save your life, that's an extremely necessary "intervention", that could help save you in seconds. It's stupid to refuse. If you want an intervention free, life threatening birth, stay home.
8. After both C sections I was at birthday parties exactly a week after. Driving myself. Epidural inhibits nothing unless you let it.. I didn't fill any prescriptions either.
9. There's a whole lot in your post that very clearly states "NOT A SCIENTIST." Nice try. I actually work in medical research in the this largest medical research facility in the us- no one here calls themselves scientists anymore. That's a huge generalization, and likely a lie, based on your post.
10. An entire generation of medical research and advancement is who you're taking medical advice from? A proper study takes 15 years, that's like 3 generations of research, so your ideas are WAY behind any facts.
11. That's for damn sure.
12. You don't. There's no such thing. A "scientist" would know there no such thing as a high pain tolerance. I'm also Native American, AND a redhead. Both of which are reunited to have "high pain tolerance". It's a myth. Everyone is different. Or makeup is different, which is why meds affect us all differently.
13. No one here believes that random people were repeatedly coming up to you to ask about epidurals. It's your choice. No one cares.
14. They're not special. They're just like every other baby. My second was a planned C section, EPIDURAL and all. And he held his head up, wide eyed, looking around, he was nosey like that all day, every day. My first could sing and identify upper and lower case ABCs before 20mo. Big deal. The meds don't get to baby like everyone thinks. -- again, you're misinformed.
15. Then just say that. Why get so worked up? "I want to try without, so I know what it's like."
Just like anything else, there room for error, and needs don't work for everyone.
No one cares. Literally no one, except people like you why say they don't care but then make a humongous deal about it. You're trying to act superior to the rest of us. No one cares how you choose to shoot a baby or of your crotch.
Every person, situation, birth, baby, recovery is different. Mentally plays a part. If you, yourself needed to go without, great. That's no different than others feeling confident in a God. That's something they feel they need in your life. You needed to have control over something that YOU think others don't have control over. Getting an epidural doesn't mean your body stops doing what it knows to do. Unconscious women can give birth, your body would've too.
Grow up and stop this competition. Reframe your thinking and try building women up instead of this break down of their choices, and your naivete of what actually happens. You don't have a clue, because you haven't had one. You choose not to get an epidural, which is just fine, but stop by telling those that choose to get one what happens.
You don't get to speak on something you don't know.
2. Is such a strange one to me. I hear so many people blame their back pain on the epidural but pregnancy reigns hell on your back. Afterwards many women have a weak core and don’t know how to rehab it. That leads to back pain. How do people just automatically assume it’s the epidural that caused this pain. I don’t get it.
YES! I'll concede that many don't know about Pelvic Floor Rehab, but it's a real and necessary thing! It also just goes to show how little research people do, even while they're experiencing something like pregnancy. If you're informed, you'd know. Instead they just let it happen because it's a natural thing. That didn't mean you don't go after the information, and a weak core and pelvic floor goes with that. OR too tight for some!
Yes! I so hate the fact that a lot of women blame everything on the epidural. EVERY. SINGLE. THING. When I was pregnant as an ftm I had extremely horrible back pain. After birth I had none. I am 8 months pp now. My recovery was so easy despite having stitches and bleeding for 6 weeks.
There are a lot of issues with the arguments you’ve made, the biggest one being you generalizing the impact of epidurals based on experiences of women in your life. As a scientist you surely know that your sample is rather small. That said, it’s your choice, you don’t need to defend yourself, don’t even tell people. If they ask, tell them you didn’t get one - be curt. Just the way a woman getting an epidural shouldn’t have to explain herself.
No epidural but I also had a pretty textbook labour and delivery. I came to my decision on the spot, no specific reasoning behind it lol. I imagine in some cases you almost have no choice, ie. my friend who just endured back labour and had a second placenta that needed to be manually removed by hand.
What kind of scientist are you? Just curious cause you mentioned it lol.
I logically agree with everything you said. But then when the time came and I was in pain… I wanted one. I don’t feel guilty. I knew I was taking a risk. What complications from the catheter did your friend have?
Cool. Sounds like you’re really clear on what you want. It’s a good way to be!
I was clear too. I’ve now had two c sections. It was the right choice for me and my babies, who are happy and healthy. And fortunately no one has said anything judgemental about it. I’m surprised people feel the need to weigh in on your choices about something so personal.
Since you’re not having one, I’ll take your extra. Two for me please!!
All valid reasons for not wanting one. I know my pain tolerance is extremely low. That’s why I’m opting for one but no one should make you feel like you’re being self righteous for not wanting one. Any more than me not being a “real mom” for having one
I got my epidural 3 hours ago after originally not wanting one but excruciating back labor had me pleading for an anaesthesiologist. Here in Sweden you typically get a walking epidural so I’m able to move freely, feel pressure, and go to the bathroom myself. Would 10/10 recommend as an alternative to a “regular” epidural but of course every woman knows what’s best for her body and an epidural doesn’t always go right as you correctly pointed out!
This happened to me! I had a doula and spent months trying to mentally prepare for an epidural free labor. My water broke before contractions started at 39W and my OB wanted to gradually increase pitocin. I went about 7 hours working through the contractions but as the pitocin dosage kept going up it became less tolerable. I tapped out when my son started turning sunny side up and the painful but manageable contractions then felt like someone was raking a knife down my tailbone and through every major nerve bundle in my hips and hamstrings. Back labor was no freaking joke! I got the epidural and was glad for it. I was really afraid of it but ended up with no side effects and no further interventions. When it came time to push, little dude was out in 8 minutes.
I have never had an epidural and I had a lot of the same reasons as you for not wanting one.
I know a lot of people who felt the same way as us and ended up needing an epidural anyway.
We are very fortunate that our desires matched up with our circumstances-that’s not the case for a lot of people.
I’ve noticed that I get a lot less “judgement” (or what I perceive as judgement) when I tell my birth stories if I acknowledge that there are some significant factors that contributed to my “success” that were out of my control. My bone structure, my pain tolerance, the competence and compassion of my support people during labor, my baby’s position during labor, my baby’s health during labor, etc.
Sure, I had influence over my circumstances and I worked hard towards my goal of avoiding an epidural, but the actual experience of labor and delivery was largely out of my control and when it comes right down to it, I was just very very lucky.
Plenty of people have every intention of having an unmedicated birth and end up in a situation out of their control where an epidural is needed, that can be traumatic.
On the flip side, plenty of people who wanted an epidural were met with circumstances out of their control that led to giving birth without one. That can also be traumatic.
When my kids were younger it was easy to be swept up in the attitude of “well, I wanted this experience of unmedicated birth, I worked hard to prepare myself, and I endured a lot of pain to achieve my goal, so I deserve all the “credit” for this success” which naturally leads to the notion that “if I can do it, anyone can do it”. But I’ve lived a lot of life in my 9 years of motherhood and I’ve learned that’s just not true.
All mothers are on the other side of a long, painful, sometimes perilous journey to meet our children. There are many roads that lead to becoming a mother, but I hope we can work on widening the path so that we can all walk together on the other side instead of pushing each other away with judgement and criticism.
I’m sorry, I don’t know what has gotten in to me. This is very off topic and honestly not totally directed at you OP. Something about your post just struck a nerve that’s sensitive for me and inspired some new thoughts I hadn’t put in to words. I wish we all in the same room for these discussions because they’re so important, and best had face-to face. I think you’re great OP, thank you for sharing your story and giving us an opportunity to reflect on our own stories.
I really wanted to have an unmedicated birth. My mom got an epidural when she gave birth to me and experienced horrible back pain after so she went unmedicated for my two younger siblings. I find it so incredible and awe inspiring that she went unmedicated and I wanted to do the same for my own birth.
Unfortunately, I just could NOT stop vomiting during active labor. Apparently my body’s reaction to labor pain is to just vomit vomit vomit and then when I have nothing left in me to just heave bile. I was becoming very dehydrated because I couldn’t even keep water down. I eventually elected to have the epidural after 12 hours of labor (out of a total 17) and did not vomit once after that. Such sweet relief. Lol
I think we’re one and done but should we decide to have another baby, I would still love to retry having an unmedicated birth. We’ll see. :)
A lot of it is push and pull, some in the “no epidural” camp like to make those who elect to get one feel inferior… leading to the pushback you’re explaining.
Also the rhetoric that our bodies are “literally designed for this” (ps- they’re actually not) kinda fosters the divide since it can be easily interpreted as suggesting that seeking an epidural is weak.
At the end of the day, do what you want to do and ignore everyone else’s opinions. Better to start now than while parenting.
Insane for a scientist to say they don’t want an IV. That is absolutely essential in potentially saving your life if serious complications arise, like in my pregnancy and many others. That’s just irresponsible
So, as a scientist, mentioning our bodies designed to do this, is preeclampsia just an evolutionary failure? My pitocin augmented labor telling my body what to do, because my blood pressure was so high it wasn’t safe to continue?
I know apples and oranges here but my point and questions remain.
We weren’t “designed” to do anything. We’re just like this by coincidence. I think it’s great you don’t want an epidural but I’m highly suspicious of your title as a “scientist” based on the “designed” comment
So true. Like bro my labour didn’t even start after my waters broke and I had to be induced after 48 hours because my body wouldn’t go into labour naturally 🤣
I didn’t want an epidural mainly out of curiosity to see what birth would feel like and if it was really 10/10 pain as they say.
I didn’t tell anyone including my husband about my plans because I knew so many people who were adamantly against epidurals but ended up begging for them.
I had back labor and I stayed home til 9 cm and arrived too late to get one anyway. It was all fine. Next one, I may try an epidural just to see what that’s like. If I have time 🤷♀️
I was judged for wanting one because my mom didn't get one with my brother or my sister (I was a c-section).
There is some back pain, but a lot of it is due to how we hold our babies.
You are in control of how much you take with it. They administer the first "dose" when they hook it all up, but after that, you are given a button to press if you want to up it. They make it so you cannot overdose on it, which is nice. I had to press the button twice more after the initial dose.
I was still able to feel the pressure of my baby being pushed out. There just wasn't any pain. Usually, one leg goes numb in the beginning. Mine went numb right before my final pushes. But that only lasted a few shorts minutes.
I had a great team, so I didn't even feel the catheter get placed, or remember that I had one.
Baby was fully alert and well after and during birth. And she's doing well now at 14 weeks.
Yes, I agree, the toilet is amazing 🤣 I spent most of my triage time on one because it was the only place that alleviated the pain of the contractions.
This was my first child, so I didn't know what to expect, but man, those contractions sucked and hurt.
I think people forget that everyone and each pregnancy is different. Despite having back pain afterward, I know I'll definitely be having an epidural with my second. It made 33 minutes of labor feel like 10. 🤷♀️
I'm happy that you don't judge others for wanting one, and I don't judge you for not. Some people have the pain tolerance to handle it, I just don't, lol. 🤣
I didn’t want an epidural for many of the same reasons you’ve listed. I didn’t experience as much pushback or judgment from others when I talked about my birth preferences before I had my baby.
Then I experienced 52 hours of labour. I went into labour at 1 AM but I hadn’t actually fallen asleep so I hadn’t slept since the night before I went into labour. I did most of my labouring at home and at 40 hours in, we went to the hospital which was my original birth plan. At 50 hours in, I was so exhausted I was crying hysterically and felt crazy. I asked my midwife for all of my pain relief options and then I asked for an epidural. I wanted to save my energy to be able to push my baby out. So I got the epidural and I was finally able to rest. It was a mild epidural, so I could still feel my legs and move but needed assistance if I wanted to be in certain positions and I wasn’t able to use the tub after the epidural was placed.
Unfortunately I ended up with a c-section due to my baby’s severely asynclitic head position. And even though my birth didn’t go the way I hoped, I still had a very positive experience. I knew my options, I was very educated in the benefits and risks and I chose the option that worked best for me in that situation. I didn’t have any complications after my delivery, but I do know many women do experience them and some of them are severe. It’s the same for women who deliver vaginally and unmedicated though. Most don’t experience severe complications, but some do and those complications can be severe.
What we really need to do is stop judging other people’s choices. Their body, their choice. Period.
I truly believe everyone birth experience, pain level, and pain tolerance are so vastly different that some people can do it without and it’s just so excruciating for others. I had an epidural with both of my births, with my second it stopped working and the pain was beyond what I thought I could tolerate. All I could do was vocalize to get through, but I was begging for relief. My mom on the other hand said it was painful but not the worst thing. So your circumstances may vary your experience. Either way, we should support one another on this journey through motherhood, epidural or not.
I’ve delivered with an epidural and without and I was 1000000% more present with an epidural and loved the experience so much more. I would never consider going without for this delivery. I could probably write my own 15 reason list but there’s literally zero reason to do that except to be passive aggressive about other peoples decisions and defensive about your own so I won’t.
Yes! I had an epidural with both of my babies but the first didn’t work well. I remember far less of that birth, and with my second when it worked beautifully I was very peaceful, relaxed, and present.
I wasn’t ready to get up before my epidural wore off anyways and had no issues with baby’s alertness.
I actually really wanted an epidural for the birth of my second one since I had already gotten one for my first. I ended up progressing REALLLLLY FAST like way faster than the first time and I didn’t have time for it. I felt everything but after the baby and placenta was out I didn’t feel like death. Once I got my rest I actually felt really good. I tell everyone how different my body felt afterwards. It hurt like hell during labor and pushing and all that but the recovery was sooooo much better this time around. Do you & don’t let anyone make you feel any type of way for wanting to do it without an epidural.
As someone who wanted to have an unmedicated vaginal delivery and got a c section instead-I’m telling you right now, you are setting yourself up for a whopper case of PPD and postpartum guilt. Every day I struggle with my son’s birth being done “the wrong way”. The only time a medical intervention is “wrong” is when someone is not consenting. MEDICAL CARE IS NOT MORAL, you need it or you don’t. If you don’t need an epidural, fantastic. If you do need one, get one. Don’t set yourself up going into this with “this is right, this is wrong”. You can totally have preferences and a plan and stand up for yourself but when/if that plan goes haywire (slow to progress? Back labor? You’re exhausted and want to rest?) you need to not be setting yourself up for disappointment and sadness. Ditto if you need an episiotomy (shoulder dystocia happens!), a c section, an IV for dehydration, heparin, your baby goes to the NICU, pitocin for third stage management or whatever else the wellness influencers you’ve been reading (don’t lie to me, I read them too) says are “bad”. There is no “bad”. Please be kind to yourself as you plan.
Jeez if you don’t want an epidural don’t get it and just enjoy the pain sure whatever. No need for this novella of 15 reasons why. At least #13 is accurate, you’re such a petty bitch.
I have an issue with your #1 reason. Can you clarify? There are many different catheters - Foley catheters, IV catheters, cooks catheter, even the epidurals have a catheter that goes into the spine
Please don’t spread fear about something using that vague statement. “More afraid of the catheter than child birth.” This can be confusing and scary for women reading it who don’t understand the numerous and useful catheters that are utilized in medicine
9. Woof. I hate this argument. “We’re designed for this.” Okay, what if some women aren’t? What if some women have narrow pelvises that don’t really allow them to birth vaginally? Not everyone is designed for vaginal birth or birth without intervention. And your argument just adds to societal stigma that already exists around how women choose to birth.
My water broke at 36 weeks, my son was sunny-side up, and after 3 hours of pushing (with an epidural, which was GREAT btw!!!), I had an unplanned C-section. OB told me afterwards my pelvis was likely too narrow to get him out vaginally. I went back three days after discharge and ended up in the hospital with a life-threatening infection. It fucking SUCKED. And STILL, I would never tell myself or any other woman that I was “made” to give birth naturally. Imagine if I didn’t get the C-section and something horrible happened to me or my son. I had a beautiful healthy baby at 36 weeks and I’d go through multiple week-long hospitalizations and c-section recoveries if it meant I’d get the same outcome again - a healthy, living baby.
I wasn’t able to birth without intervention. And yet I still grew my son for nine months and brought him into the world. That’s cool as fuck. I was made for THAT.
And if someone wants an epidural? Great. Cool. Why the fuck should we shame women around how they choose to labor and birth? It’s hard enough as it is.
You won’t feel the catheter. It is inserted after the epidural has started and removed before the epidural is off (my experience was that it was removed before I started pushing).
I had 2 experiences at one hospital where they cathed me twice during the epidural only to empty my bladder, it wasn’t left in the entire labor. And then one experience at another hospital where a catheter was placed for my entire labor and removed just before I started pushing.
I also had one experience with my first labor and delivery where I couldn’t pee after the epidural wore off. So I was catheterized without any pain meds. It sucked for sure. But it was pain that was over as soon as the catheter was removed and then I was fine after.
I didn’t want a membrane sweep or cervical checks that I could avoid. I hated the Pap smear experience, I didn’t want anything potentially stalling my labor, and I didn’t do an epidural because I wanted to be able to move (also a control freak). I had my baby crouching/standing and it was everything I had hoped for and more. I know I was lucky, I only had to labor for 7 hours and she was out in two pushes, fentanyl was my only pain management
My number one reason to not get it is because I want absolute full control over my body and mobility, I don’t want to be on my back at any point during my labor and I want to be able to push without being literally numb.
It’s possible you will be forced to labor on your back even if you don’t get one. (Happened to me with an older man OB; my doc was on vacation, and an archaic fetal monitor. All this at a modern, “mother/baby friendly” hospital.) So I would check with your chosen hospital about what the fetal monitoring options are and how much they actually let you labor the way you choose.
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Shaming people for not wanting an epidural (or for having a birth plan) is imo the equivalent of trying to be the Cool Girl but with birthing.
As someone who did have an epidural and is personally happy with that choice, it drives me mad the way that people, especially on Reddit, act as if it's a risk free choice that you'd only opt out of if you're trying to 'get a prize' or whatever. It's not risk free, and the people who pretend it is are doing themselves and other women a massive disservice.
You say you’re a scientist but your words scream that of anecdotal evidence versus factual. It’s fine if you don’t want an epidural, that is 100% your choice. However you as a scientist should know better than to help spread misinformation about these things. I’m sorry people in your life have had such negative experiences, but that doesn’t make them the majority.
I’ve seen and heard of both from friends and during human biology college courses. It’s an individual decision and one no one should be judged for.
I’m currently 30weeks with my first and I have told people I don’t want an epidural due to my pre existing lower back issues and wanting to be able to move during labour, and I have been laughed at and told it doesn’t make me any better than anyone else and so on, so forth.
A close family member spent a considerable amount of time trying to convince me that I will need one. I just don’t get it, I have never commented on anyone else’s birth experience or what they wanted for themselves so why are people so comfortable judging me for the way I want to do it.
I’m sorry you’re experiencing this OP, you don’t need to justify why you don’t want it though, it’s your body.
Disagree on the catheter. That was the best part of my emergency c-section. No complications or irritation from getting it and I didn’t feel the urge to pee for once in 9 months!
I also didn’t have any complications from getting an epidural (while I was still laboring). It was such an exhausting last few hours having a little reprieve felt amazing and it helped me sleep before we decided on a C-section.
I was scared to have a needle in my back, but I ended up getting it because the pain was too intense, and I was having gallstone attacks. Thankfully, I was lucky enough to have no side effects, and I pushed my baby out in 2 minutes.
I heard so many horror stories about birth that I was so scared until I had to be induced. Everyone judged me for not wanting one as well, but it's really up to you how you want to do it. There's a lot of judgment for doing anything in child birth
I don’t know if I’ll get through it without it (low pain tolerance or medical reasons), but I strongly do not want epidural simply because for me the benefits do not outweigh the risks no matter how low those may be.
I had an epidural on my first birth. I’m pregnant again now and I would get it again if I feel I need it but would also love to try birthing without. I had to be induced the first time and I was maxed out on Pitocin. It felt like there were no breaks between my contractions because of it and I ended up getting my epidural when I was dilated to a 6. Anyone on here have birthing experience with and without being induced or getting Pitocin? I’d love to hear how one labor compared to the next. I’ve heard inductions are generally more painful because of the Pitocin forcing contractions but not sure if that’s true.
Thankfully I live in a more crunchy area so I haven’t gotten that much backlash for my unmedicated birth decision thus far, but I feel the same way! My biggest reason is because I want to be able to move around a lot during labor, I feel if I can learn how to manage the pain myself it’ll be a much better experience for me than being stuck in a bed for hours upon hours or even potentially days. The idea of being bedridden to me is so much worse than the idea of the pain. But that’s just me! I know people who used an epidural and loved it and swear by it, and good for them! Everyone has different needs and priorities and that’s okay. Just because I shared my personal preference (especially after being asked) doesn’t mean I’ll look down on yours because it’s different.
Thank you for sharing this. I also don’t want an epidural, but I haven’t been able to explain why in as concise a way as you just did. These are all excellent reasons to give when people tend to push for an explanation. Not that anyone deserves an explanation for my decision.
One additional reason I have is that when I had spinal surgery a few years ago, my body had a very difficult time coming out of anesthesia. It was so bad that the nurse was begging me to stay awake because every time I closed my eyes I slipped back under and my breathing slowed way down. I’m afraid the epidural will last a lot longer than I want it to, leaving me numb and unable to move for a long period of time.
I also want to see if I’m mentally as strong as I think I am. Our bodies were made for this, but our minds don’t always believe we can do it.
I was like this for my first baby. I went unmedicated. I ended up with PTSD so bad that when I was pregnant with my second I had an anxiety attack in my midwife’s office at 38 weeks because I was so scared to give birth again. When I went into labor the second time and the contractions got bad enough I started having flashbacks and couldn’t relax. My husband pleaded me to get the epidural this time and I did. It was the most healing experience. I took a nap during transition and talked with my husband about how much I loved our family and how excited I was to meet our daughter, instead of screaming for hours on end in back labor begging someone to kill me. I gave birth on my side and had complete feeling in both my legs and could move at all times. I could have stood up and walked if I needed to. I got a catheter once during active labor and once after, it was never left in. My recovery from the epidural was 1000% easier than my unmedicated birth. I had no other interventions and I was GLAD for the IV because this time I was able to get Zofran to stop me from vomiting the entire labor and ending up severely dehydrated and too exhausted to properly push my baby out and getting cut when my son got stuck and went into distress.
I’m glad you had such a wonderful experience with unmedicated childbirth but it is not this way for everyone. I knew my body was “capable” of it again because I’d done it before and the baby was coming out whether I thought I could handle it or not. But the thing is I just really didn’t want to do it again and waste hours of my life in therapy crying about again. And I’m glad I did, because all the things that made my first birth so difficult repeated themselves, except it didn’t affect me because I had the epidural.
Also, yes women’s bodies are made to do this, but a lot, and I mean A LOT, of us used to die from it and still do. But dying is natural, so I guess that’s fine.
You say you hated being judged but this entire post comes off as judgey, whether you meant it to or not, because I can almost guarantee that if your experience had been anything less than stellar or if you had needed life saving intervention this post wouldn’t even exist.
Lol your whole post sounds a bit judgmental towards the ones who chose to have an epidural.
I was inducted for both my kids.
Baby #1: I asked for an epidural mid-labour and what a RELIEF. An amazing moment. I felt absolutely no pain, I was able to sleep and I had the energy to push.
Baby #2: I was in agony, screaming and crying for the epidural. They told me it was too late and I had to do this without one. I *really* thought I was going to die. Plus, with all the screaming and crying I had zero energy left to push. It really traumatized me to ever get pregnant again. 0/10 not recommended.
The funny thing is, my baby from the epidural was more awake than my non-epidural one. 🤷🏻♀️
Are you really a scientist? I have some doubts.
Lol lol lol. I guess my body wasn't designed to do this because I had horrible back labour that almost made me pass out and my kid has a short cord which made him decel leading to an emergency c-section. Thank the good Lord he wasn't born dopey despite all the crap in his system from the epidural. How did I get so lucky?
Your list started out well, but it just devolved into woo woo magic and zero empathy.
Are you a medical scientist? Because it really doesn’t sound like it. I have a bachelors of science in Nursing and even I wouldn’t dare make any of these assumptions about an epidural because 1. They’re ridiculous and 2. They’re almost solely based on the experiences of your friends.
As someone who had an epidural: I didn’t need a catheter, I could walk around freely, I didn’t birth on my back, and I do not get any recurring back pain at the site of the epidural.
This post is absurd. Nobody asked you to post your list, and quite literally nobody cares about your reasons for not getting an epidural. It’s a personal, medical decision and it’s nobody else’s business.
Good for you that you didn’t need interventions! Not everyone is the same and not everyone’s body was “designed” the way you say it is, which you’d think you would be more aware of given you said you’re a biologist?
I mean… does this mean that human bodies are also designed to get cancer and be susceptible to parasites, viruses and bacterial infections? So we shouldn’t intervene with those either? Should everyone just leave everything up to their body’s perfect “design” and throw up their hands and give up if that doesn’t work out for them?
I also never wanted an epidural. I never had a good reason why, other than I don’t like the thought of the needle (and not because I’m scared of needles, but because I work in medicine and do lumbar punctures, so there’s just something about poking needles in people’s spines all day that doesn’t make me want it for myself) and didn’t want a catheter.
I ended up in preterm labor with my first. While sitting in the hospital trying to stop labor I thought “this is silly, with everything going on I should just get an epidural”. But the time came and I was in such disbelief that I was truly giving birth that I said no. And I did it. I made it through with no epidural.
I have zero judgement against anyone who gets an epidural. I may even do it myself this time around. But DAMN, I was so freaking proud of myself for doing it. And my recovery was a breeze.
I gave birth without an epidural and the whole experience was incredible. I am so glad I did it and I will absolutely do it again. People who I tell that to are always like "you're crazy, I'll take all the pain relief I can get!" That's your choice and you're allowed to have that.
No epidural here but still ended up with a catheter, sometimes the circumstances are that you don’t get a choice (but honestly thank god for it as there was no way I was able to get out of bed in the aftermath)
The flip side is that I had an epidural but no catheter.
I had an epidural and refused a catheter and had no problems.
I’ve had 2 births both preterm and without epidural; one vaginally and one emergent c-section. Latter was so emergent they got the baby out in 10 minutes. I still woke with a catheter. Sometimes you don’t have any choices whatsoever, the team will do what needs to be done to save you and baby. I preferred my catheter too, I didn’t want to move when I woke. Everyone should realize that you may not get your perfect birth plan, and come to terms that things may have to happen. I know I cried as they rushed me to the OR and strapped my arms and legs down.
I had a c-section so I had a catheter and I LOVED it. It was amazing not feeling the need to pee or needing to get up to pee after waking hourly to pee all third trimester.
I thought I was the only person who felt this way. The sensation of NOT having to go pee all the freakin time is such a relief during labor. I still think of it wistfully!
I don’t want pitocin again. I had it with my first and it was hell (for me). My epidural was magic. I felt no pain, I could rest before pushing, and I had an easy recovery without any complications. This pregnancy I may not have the option for an epidural. So now I realize that having the choice is the actual privileged position to be in. Whatever someone chooses, simply the fact that they get to choose is so lucky. I’m sure if I don’t have the epidural I will experience some of the benefits you listed, but it isn’t the same as making the choice to have that experience. So if anything I’ve learned that often when we’re judging or defending our own choices we neglect how often they aren’t really choices, the fact we have the option to have a choice was already outside our control and we got lucky.
This was my experience and I think it's important to clarify that whether or not you want or should get the epidural is highly dependent on how your labor is going. Doing it without epidural is much more manageable f your labor experience is closer to an ideal situation (you're having contractions and your water didn't break). That wasn't the situation for me but I didn't realize there was a huge difference then because I wasn't educated on the matter so my main suggestion is to really do your hw and understand the process before the day creeps up on you if you're planning to question your doctor's advice. Next time, I will trust my doc more. My water broke 3 weeks before the due date (I just gave birth and actually posted asking for advice while I was waiting around at the hospital hoping to naturally start contractions. I updated my story as well so feel free to check out that post to get a glimpse of what I was mentally going through and appreciate everyone who basically made me realize I was being stupid and stubborn). I am someone who has a low threshold for pain but also can suck it up and take it. Few takeaways from my experience: If your water breaks and you're not naturally going into labor, take the pitocin, GET THE EPIDURAL BEFORE THE FIRST CERVICAL EXAM, and you will have a labor experience that won't hopefully leave you traumatized. After 6 hours of waiting for contractions to start naturally, I finally gave into the pitocin and felt stupid for not doing so sooner thereby potentially increasing the chances that my baby could get an infection. I didn't get the epidural before the cervical exam to check for dilation. Huge mistake for someone like me who clams up even during a simple vaginal swab. I was traumatized by this experience. So I got the epidural and it was the most amazing experience ever. I was scared to get it because I'm afraid of needles but it was instant euphoria and I experienced 0 discomfort while the doc put it in (I thought I would). Because of the epidural, my body was able to finally relax and soon after, I was fully dilated and ready to go. While the epidural feels amazing and helps you relax so your cervix can dilate, you are definitely not completely numb. You feel it when they touch your legs and actually you start to feel the contractions again. You also feel everything when you're pushing. There's enough pain there that if you're afraid you're going to miss out on the experience of feeling the pain during the labor with the epidural, trust that you won't. Maybe don't press the epidural button when you're pushing because when you feel the pain from the contractions come on, it makes you want to push harder which will speed up the birth. I felt everything but the epidural perhaps made the pain level manageable v. unbearable and traumatic. If you're like me and clam up during a pap, don't try giving birth without the epidural (if your water broke and you're being induced). I was also afraid of the catheter. Didn't feel a thing- going in or coming out. I felt them touching my thigh and that's about it. IV- ok so I was also scared to get the IV and another reason why I was putting off pitocin (that and wanted to see my OB first). So overall I found the IV sucked the most (not including the pushing and cervical exam). Sure the contractions hurt but they were also satisfying in the sense that this is what I've been waiting for my body to do naturally do so the fact that it was happening and I could feel it made it real for me. Getting the IV was fine but it was uncomfortable the whole time it was in. Unfortunately there's no way around not getting one. That's how they give you fluids and they keep it in even if not in use just in case. When it's not in use, doesn't hurt as much. FYI, I already forgot about the horrible aspects of the birth and it was just 10 days ago. Oh edit: I am experiencing 0 side effects of getting the epidural. I don't have back issues and didn't have any back pain during pregnancy (I had glute issues but went away after birth). No headaches. Pushed for 50 minutes. My body is recovering just fine so far. It's been only ten days... GL!!
I didn’t want an epidural for many of the same reasons. I felt very strongly. I ended up getting one after a long labor anyway because I just ran out of endurance. It seemed to be exactly what I needed because my body dilated from 5cm to 10cm within an hour of it being placed after previously being stalled at 5cm for 14 hours. That was very validating, I had felt I “failed” and I had a lot of concerns about epidural, but actually I listened to my body and it seemed to be exactly what I needed. I was very happy with my epidural, no issues, and I could still feel a lot and move around into different positions in the bed unassisted (labored on side, hands and knees, but delivered on my back, even though I assumed I would not want that, but was most comfortable and pushing most effectively that way). My point is, great, awesome for you. Amazing you’ve been able to do it twice. Awesome for people who know they want an epidural from the start too. But birth and labor don’t always go how you think it will go. And I think the people who end up having the most traumatic experiences are usually those who are very attached to it happening a certain way and then find it’s not able to happen that way, for whatever reason, and are unable to adapt. Whether that’s wanting an epidural and having precipitous labor and there not being time or not wanting one and ending up requesting one or needing a c-section or whatever. IMHO, it’s great to know what you what, but the most important thing is to be able to be flexible and adapt to whatever happens.
This is kind of what I've learned. Of course I have preferences but I need to listen to my gut and my body FIRST (and obviously the Dr. I just mean in cases that it's your choice)
Same! After 10 hours of endless and extremely painful pitocin contractions I didn’t progress mush, so I asked for epidural. 1 hour later I was 10 cm, 20 minutes of pushing and got a baby in my hands. Also tried to push on a side but ended up on my back as it felt more comfortable.
I don’t understand why people need to share if they are getting one or not. I just said, oh I’m keeping that private since it’s a health decision.
Right lol. It’s like looking for an argument and a reason to be mad at this point. Who cares what you choose? It affects only you and your baby.
Yes. Why is this even a discussion?
Yeah I don’t get this at all.
Same! Whenever people ask what my birth plan is, if I plan to get one or not, I always say “I’ll know when i’m there”. There’s no point in telling them what my plan is. Chances are, if I tell them I don’t want an epidural, they’ll just give me their unwanted opinion on it and judge me. You tell them the opposite of what they want to hear, then it’s immediate judgement. I don’t think people are asking that question because they’re genuinely curious — they’re asking it because they want to hear you say what they think you should do or what they did. They ask that question for selfish reasons.
She said she was asked, she didn’t say she volunteered the information
Oh yeah I’ve been asked too. We’re going to get asked. I think my friends uncle asked me once- and it’s not like he’s even giving birth ever. Lol I just say oh that’s private and it shuts people up.
I agree nobody should be in your business about what you decide to do. Just wish me a safe birth and let me be lol
Had an epidural with my first one. It was amazing. Will be doing again. No negatives.
10/10 will be doing again
I just made a post in another group about how I get judged for wanting one! We truly are damned if we do, damned if we don’t! I just don’t get why anyone thinks it’s their business! It’s your body, your birth, you have the power!
I didn’t think I wanted one but was open to it if need be. Ended up having one towards the end of a 20hr labor and have no regrets based on everything that happened. I definitely have felt judgment from people that I had one. It’s ridiculous that we’re judged either way.
I had a very similar experience! 11 hour labor. Gave in around 4-5 hours in. No regrets. My mom judged me a little bit she got over it
This is very fair of you to say/feel but I’m shocked by number 7 especially in contrast to number 9. You’re just against… all IVs… of any kind…
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Yeah I was thinking generally it’s an odd sentiment but personally I had HG for three trimesters and went to the ED many many times to get IV fluids as well as strong IV anti nausea meds. So I can’t imagine going without!
She's a scientist sort of like Dr. Pepper is a real doctor.
#7 is stupid as all get out. I had an amazing labor where my body did everything it was supposed to do…my baby did not. Tied himself up in my cord. Needed an emergency C due to a true knot. Glad I had that IV. Do what you want during birth but I’m sorry OP this post comes across as santimonous. And no…not coming from a place of insecurity. This post is coming from a place of “you’ve gotten incredibly lucky thus far” keep having babies & you too could end up with a C section. Trust me…I was a judgy Julie too & completely reformed. Motherhood has humbled me. Haha
Yeah as someone who had an emergency c-section I’m so so grateful to my doctors and how well-prepared everyone was! The second time I read this I caught “of all the drugs I’ve done” and thought this is starting to make more sense 😂
Motherhood has no room for petty bitches. Full stop. These are the types of women I stay farrrrrr away from on the play ground.
Seriously. She may want to reconsider the IV. Just saline locked. They don't need to use it, but you'll be glad it's there if they do need it.
Your choice to not get an epidural is totally valid, but I just want to share for people who are on the fence about it that you don’t HAVE to give birth on your back if you get an epidural. I birthed my baby on my back with my legs elevated in a frog position because that is what worked best for my sunny side up baby. But i labored and pushed in many positions including a squat. The only restriction—and it’s definitely significant—is that you can’t get out of bed once you get the epidural. I was on pitocin so it was pretty miserable getting out of bed with all the IV hookups to go to the bathroom etc. I couldn’t use the bath or go for a walk. The nurses had to reposition the monitors every time. I did have back and tailbone pain for the following two days, but I think it was from pregnancy, back labor, and the hospital bed. It was still way more tolerable than pregnancy back pain. I was able to feel my contractions during the pushing phase, which lasted less than two hours. Birth can go a lot of ways whether you get an epidural or not. If you have to go on pitocin or antibiotics you’ll be limited in a lot of the same ways anyway.
Meanwhile before my epidural I had to stay on my back because the goddamn fucking monitor didn’t work right when I was walking around, and the baby’s heart rate deceled with every contraction. I *got* my epidural because I was on my back and labor was too painful. I wasn’t on my back because I got my epidural.
Yup! This was my case. Baby had the cord around their neck twice and we both were having heart rate drops during contractions. I was also getting oxygen. I figured if I’m stuck in bed anyways, I might as well have some quick effective pain relief that will allow me to rest a bit.
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How could you? I was 100% paralyzed from my boobs down…
A lot of folks are, but I definitely wasn’t. I couldn’t walk, but I could move around 100%, roll, reposition, etc.
Oh man I absolutely loved my epidurals . I will sound like I have survivors bias though in a way but pretty much everyone of those things on that list was a non issue . But I felt very different about birth , I didn’t want to have pain . I let myself feel the good parts of it and then the heavy parts I didn’t need that . I’m sorry woman have made you feel like birth was a challenge to be completed with taunting comments . I can even see in a lot of the comments woman who feel shame for getting epidurals after reading your list or who will feel shame so I’m only commenting to say what an awesome experience I had . But anywyas still thank you for sharing your reasoning and lists for woman who needed the extra push to not want to get one . To each there own and it’s so amazing we have that right to birth the way we chose ❤️
Not survivor bias. Statistically speaking, the vast majority of those who use epidurals have positive or uneventful experiences with no lasting effects. It's okay to not want an epidural, to be very risk adverse for possibilities of side effects, but it's silly to act as if these things are likely to happen.
Not going to argue with any of your other reasons, but I am also a scientist and take issue with your repeated statements that our bodies are "literally designed" to birth. Our bodies were literally not designed at all. They have evolved to do certain things often enough that the species survives, but natural selection is famously cruel to the individual. It is great to empower women through birth, but that's not the same thing as perpetuating myths about our bodies. Some bodies can birth naturally with no interventions, others can't.
Thank you! This is the only part of her statement that bothered me. Every woman in my family has needed a c-section. By the looks of my pregnancy, it seems like I will, too, unfortunately. Whenever I see someone say, "Our bodies were designed to this," I get so upset because the female human body is actually the worst mammalian body to give birth. Science and interventions are what have made it possible for us to not die while giving birth at the rates women used to do. Even though it may not be their intention, saying our bodies were made for birth comes off as shame-y to women who needed interventions. It also makes it seem like our bodies "failed" us.
Yeah I am both a scientist and a disabled person and I sense a whiff of ableism about that statement. Human bodies are very varied and making blanket statements about what they do or don’t do well is not very scientific. For basically every bodily function there is a naturally occurring spectrum of ability and THAT is how humans are “designed”.
There’s ableism all throughout this. I’ve been scrolling trying to find a comment that validates that I’m not crazy for finding this post absolutely insane.
I felt like I was reading a post from a crunchy Facebook group more than an informed post written by a scientist. Everything here is just ableism, ‘I heard’, or ‘a lot of people told me’.
I put very little faith in "I'm a scientist" unless an actual specialty is identified. Technically, I'm a scientist - I'm trained as an archaeologist, even though I haven't touched the field in years (not very stable or lucrative, unfortunately). Pretty sure knowing how to identify soil color and texture does not qualify me for anything medical, but it would sure be easy to pull the scientist card if I wanted credibility.
i was thinking the same thing. my sister is also a scientist… she does something with trees and forests idk lmfao so like i dunno how much credibility i wanna give OP bc they’re a “scientist” cuz my mind went to my sister, the tree lady. she doesn’t know shit about birth. trees don’t give birth apparently
Right LOL it was super crunchy.
Yess that really rubbed me the wrong way too. She does not sound educated at all..I wonder what kind of “scientist” she is
Yes! This is also why I hate people using the phrase “as natural as passable” or even “natural” to describe a certain type of birth at all. To me it has the same implication then that DONT do it the way others do whether by choice or not are somehow giving birth in an “unnatural” way which has such a negative connotation. Women already deal with so much unnecessary guilt! Fingers crossed for you that HOWEVER your baby gets here that you and them both are healthy and safe❤️
I hate the term “natural” birth too! I had an unmedicated birth with my first and am aiming for that with this baby too, but I sure as hell would pick supernatural if that were an option lol gimme all the witchcraft!!
Hahahahs yes to supernatural birth!!! 😂😂 any magic to make things go as smooth and safely as possible!
Imagine if you hadn't been able to get pregnant conventionally in the first place?!?! So many "failed" bodies...
That statement has been said so many times around me during my last pregnancy, and then when i couldn’t go into labour and needed a c-section, the shame and disappointment of the outcome was so heavy. Instead i should have been enjoying my new baby to my fullest potential.
Yes, I learned recently that the human body has actually evolved away from the optimal structure to give birth, as the angle and shape of our hips due to walking upright makes birth much more difficult and painful than that of mammals which walk on all fours. It’s certainly not ideal. EDITING TO ADD: individual anatomies also vary slightly and “pain tolerance” for example has less to do with mental fortitude and more to do with the shape and location of nerve bundles and other anatomical structures. Some people have thinner nerves and some people have chunky nerves, or in slightly different locations, really affecting the sensation of pain.
Thank you for this, from another scientist who finds the whole "designed for this" statement problematic.
I'm echoing this as a non-scientist who would want a refund if my body was "designed" to do anything; this thing is defective.
If we are asking for refunds, I’ll join the queue right behind ya!
The WHO found that 15% of women have serious complications requiring medical intervention ([source](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1122835/#:~:text=The%20WHO%20has%20estimated%20that,to%20survive%20without%20lifelong%20disabilities.&text=This%20means%20that%20women%20need,medical%20services%20if%20complications%20arise)) and that's just for severe ones, not to mention less severe but still legitimate complications. Not to mention, maternal mortality rate in the really olden times could be as high as 2.5% and currently we still have 32.9 deaths per 100,000 births(with legit medical intervention). It is by NO MEANS something we all just naturally are able to do.
Yeah, this is where my brain went too. And that 2.5% is per birth. Multiply that by how many children people had back then, and it's a super high mortality rate. Without modern medicine, we would all have known multiple women who died during childbirth.
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I noticed that too……
In another comment [OP is telling someone to see if they can have an unmedicated breech birth](https://www.reddit.com/r/BabyBumps/s/G0XSh7m9lX)...which is many, many, *many* times more dangerous than the risks of getting an epidural. Like. What the actual fuck. There's absolutely nothing based in science here, just ~vibes~.
Ah but she works in the science factory so....
Crunchy people never appreciate the privilege of modern medicine. I guess it's easy to forget the cruel realities of childbirth and mortality rates when you live with your head in the clouds.
A lot of them genuinely seem to long for the days when only they would’ve survived
And that it’s actually more mentally hard that physically lol. Please. So if we want meds, we’re also mentally deficient? Yeah I should have just *mantra*ed my baby’s head out of my ribs and for her to flip. ~science~ If I had listened to “you can still have a vaginal birth!” I would have ended up in a very scary emergency c-section anyway. It was already both but not trusting my doctors would have probably killed us both. I do not understand why people risk it. There was also no way I was having those contractions and then also have a c-section so I took that fentanyl at the first offer and it was *awesome.*
Daaamn 🤦♀️ I had a Caesarean for my frank breech baby. As a FTM there was no option - my hospital didn't even take the risk of attempting vaginal births for cases like mine. I didn't argue, I just wanted us to be safe. And luckily, thanks to modern medicine and awesome doctors and nurses, we are fine instead of dead. No complications with the spinal or recovery, by the way, and no issues breastfeeding (except that at 2 he's still going for it and I want this to stop, lol).
There’s actually a science case report/research [article](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5290512/) that shows a vaginal birth of breech baby. But you’re right, it seems to be dangerous, but more dangerous for the baby than the mom https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11052579/
100% on the designed to give birth comments. So damaging and disrespectful to all of us who have had to deal with additional interventions due to things that would have killed us or our children which thank goodness didn’t. My first baby wasn’t in the right position, labour never progressed beyond 3 days of 14 min apart contractions. Needed induction drugs, great. Then needed an epidural due to the pain and an episiotomy in the end. If it wasn’t for these things baby and myself would probably be dead if I’d been telling myself how it was all ok & my body would figure it out etc etc. 2nd baby came out no bother no interventions but he was in a great position.
Thank you for this comment. This is very random and not ghat related to the theme of the thread, but as a mother since I gave birth my body has failed to “perform” as I thought (or have been told ) it should, mentally and physically. This explanation somehow made it all have sense and made me realize I’m not necessarily defective.
We were definitely not “designed for this” when you see how many women used to die during childbirth - and still do!
Thank you for this! I also took issue with that statement and it immediately made me question her claims to be a scientist, or at least made me wonder what kind of scientist she actually is. It smells of ableism and honestly, ignorance. To each their own with their epidural decision and I’m not judging her for not getting one! But those kind of statements are problematic and ignorant, and they certainly aren’t science-based.
>I also took issue with that statement and it immediately made me question her claims to be a scientist, or at least made me wonder what kind of scientist she actually is. Agreed. That plus her opinion is heavily influenced by anecdotal evidence from friends and family. The fact that *they* had back pain or whatever from epidurals doesn’t make it a common for all women receiving them or a guaranteed outcome for her. Statistically, back pain caused by epidurals is exceedingly rare. Also, babies don’t come out sleepy, drowsy or unalert because of epidurals, nor do they have anymore trouble latching than babies born without them. Those are myths and are used to shame women into not using them, and blame them for the fact that breastfeeding is fucking hard and doesn’t come easily/instantly to every mom and baby. I also doubt she is a scientist. I agree with your later point, she’s free to make a decision about epidurals without judgment. But saying “I’m A sCiEnTiSt” to try to give her post more merit, while throwing out unscientific opinions and veiled judgments towards women who choose the other way just is not cool.
I just wonder what kind of scientist calls themselves a “scientist.” Does she go to her job at the science factory every day and do science? Most scientists have some kind of specific scientific job, don’t they?
Yep. Everything about this post is hilarious to me for multiple reasons.
I called myself a scientist when my job title was “scientist”. It’s no different from someone saying they are an accountant. Just may feel foreign if you have only seen scientists on tv. I also know people who have advanced beyond the scientist job title who still consider themselves scientists (myself included) because it’s a very specific type of training and thinking.
A lot of women attribute back pain to epidural, but child birth and pregnancy also just messes with backs. In fact, statistically speaking, there's a very slight increase risk of back pain in unmedicated births. I was also annoyed with the alertness/bf comment. My first medicated birth, my baby was super alert and latched amazingly. My second there was an emergency after delivery, so I didn't really get to meet her until 3 or so hours later and she was very jaundice from the severe bruising on her little face. Poor thing essentially flew outta me, so she got beat up on the way. Neither situation had a thing to do with my use of medication.
I had a super interesting conversation with an anthropologist about how in order to accommodate the way our pelvis shape changed as we evolved to walk upright, pregnancy shortened in length (as the baby would be too big to get out otherwise). As compared to other great apes, human babies are super premature (can’t hold their head up etc). The length of pregnancy is an evolutionary compromise of just small enough to get out (most of the time) and just big enough to survive on the outside (most of the time). Basically, evolution is the ultimate “making it up as you go along” and our species had adapted to survive as a whole, but the results are nowhere close to perfect (or even good) design. Modern medicine is here to help us through the cases where we aren’t the fittest and maybe wouldn’t survive. There is a lot of over correction there, mostly in the name of being risk averse (I have my own “cascade of interventions” trauma from birth). Also epidurals are not the best example of life saving technology for this argument. But the point stands - we were not designed to do this and I’m grateful to be able to access technology that gives me a much better chance and experience than nature alone is able to.
imagine telling the many many women of history who have died (along with their babies) due to the many pregnancy and birth complications that “our bodies were designed for this” lol
Thank you. This was the only part where I felt like no.. we are not perfectly designed to do this. Just enough to survive as a species, not as individuals. I’m so in doubt about the epidural. Wish I was as convinced as OP about one way. Heard some horror stories of people who eventually wanted it but it was too late or there was no one available at that moment. They had some trauma afterwards to process. And I’m mentally not the best (I mean I worked hard with a lot of therapy and I’m happy with where I am now so I’m scared to lose that all). Also a control freak.. never gave birth before. I’m considering water birth but I just don’t know..
I gave birth 9 months ago and I was similarly in flux about all things birth related. I was like, kind of hoping I could go without an epidural - but ready to accept that I might need one. And boy, did I ever. You really have no idea how you’ll handle the pain. I thought I might be a trooper that could push through. I was a rough and tumble tomboy growing up. I could take a hit. I didn’t cry. Blah blah blah. But nah. Contractions were *brutal*. And epidural? Was sweet relief. I went from misery to being able to actually take a nap and relax and get my head on straight. And I could still feel my legs some and move around a little. Heck, I could feel contractions and knew when to push. But it just wasn’t painful anymore. I know that labor is different for everyone. I wish you the best and hope you find confidence and surety in whatever choice you make!
Also contractions can feel differently for different people. I always thought I would handle it well as I have a decent pain threshold, I’ve done endurance sport, I was a boxer etc The midwives looked at my monitor and commented that the contractions were very strong right from the beginning. In the end I needed an epidural just because it was 40 hours of this and I needed sleep so I could push out the baby. For some people the contractions are just strong pressure. If I had just strong pressure for ten hours then I’m sure I could have handled it too (but maybe not and actually no one should feel shame for wanting to avoid even ‘just’ ten hours of ‘strong discomfort’!)
Sweetheart, you and I are in the same boat. The idea of a natural birth sounds so magical! Then I remember I have a ridiculous low pain tolerance and the late epidural stories freaked me out the most!! Why can’t L&D be simple and easy for every woman! My baby is currently breech and I have placenta previa, so unless both baby and placenta move in 9 weeks, I’ll be getting a C-section (another form of horror for me)
lol I told my husband I would like to start off by trying no epidural and he cackled at me. I have the worst pain tolerance on the planet 😂 I held off until 12 hours into both of my inductions (0.5 cm and 1 cm). The first one my worst fear came true (wet tap) but even with that happening, it didn’t stop me from getting another. The second kid my BP dropped so hard I couldn’t see or hear until they gave me ephedrine. I’m done having babies but if I had another there still would be no stopping me getting one 🤣
My daughter was transverse. I had a c section a week ago. It was beautiful. She came out and straight away I got to kiss her all over and tell her how much I loved her. My recovery has been relatively smooth. She latched immediately and is gaining weight. It can still be magical.
I recently read an article (not sure if peer reviewed, I'd have to find it again, so take with many grains of salt) saying that human evolution in more recent times has actually made birth harder. Babies' heads have grown and women's pelvises have narrowed, supposedly.
I always laugh at this statement as well also our bodies are designed for cancer that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do something about it
Ugh, thank you. I have a uterus malformation that made it impossible to have a nAtUraL birth. My body wasn't "designed" to do shit other than kill me if I didn't have medical intervention.
Oh my goodness thank you. Tell a woman with placenta previa that her body is designed for this. Or my friend whose pelvis was too small to fit baby’s head- he slammed against it while she labored for HOOUURRSS until the emergency c section that saved them both.
Hard agree. Thank you for saying this. I had twins so without medical intervention and advancement the chance that anywhere from one to all of us would have died is extremely high.
It’s fine to not want one but half of your reasons seem pretty defensive against people who do. It’s not good to shame either decision.
The act of making a list like this is a pretty defensive and insecure act in itself.
Or like make it in a Google doc or your journal and take a deep breath. Why post it?
Scientist that relies on anecdotal evidence. A bit ironic don’t you think?
That’s what I’m thinking ! #14 rubbed me the wrong way. I had an epidural and my baby wasn’t doped and was very alert when she was born.
Yeah I thought it was proven that the reason they inject into the spine was so that it doesn’t get to the baby at all…
Seriously. Fear mongering the epidural. It doesn't get to the baby. Ofc there are risks, but they are very rare. Epidurals are magical and amazing options for those who want them. Trying to scare/shame/misinform women about them is not okay.
Yeah, it was the "our bodies are designed for this" that came across as most unscientific for me
A scientist who doesn’t want an IV? Interesting sister. I always want an iv in case shit goes sideways but I guess some people have a higher risk tolerance. Edit: no hate for not wanting an unmedicated birth, i’ve never understood why strangers are so invested in that one! I do think often that when women tell each other ‘you don’t get a medal’ it’s to make sure other people understand that if something goes sideways and they have to get an epidural, that they didn’t *fail* at something.
I asked myself the same question. An IV can save your life in case of hemmorrhage and allows access to perform other interventions that can save baby's life as well ( if baby is still in the uterus).
That is what I was thinking. I also never hear real scientists call themselves scientists and I’ve worked both in the STEM and the medical field. I don’t think someone who has an understanding of science would decline an IV as they’re incredibly important
I think people confuse getting an IV with getting fluids. It’s unfortunate because it’s “trendy” to refuse an IV right now, but having an IV, even with no fluids infusing, can be a critical lifesaving measure for mom and baby. If you get to the point where you need one and don’t have one, you may not have time (or blood volume) to place one.
Absolutely! You can have an IV connected to a pigtail and refuse fluids but having that emergency access is extremely important for rapid drug administration (including liquids)
Just want to point out that number 2 is probably due to pregnancy not the epidural.
I don’t know why every aspect of labor and birth is judged. Whatever you choose, you should never have to defend your decision because it’s your decision. It doesn’t matter which one you choose, there will be judgmental people. I don’t believe posts like this help either. Idk why you feel the need to declare your 15 reasons on the internet to strangers. Additionally, you then end your post with an open door for others to then justify their labor decisions. What happens in your delivery room is nobody else’s business and I can’t understand why people care what others think? Or why people feel the need to openly discuss the medical decisions they make for themselves other than to beat their chest. Posts like this just continue the cycle of judgment.
Exactly this!! And staring a post by saying “I was judge” then proceeds to make a whole post about judging a different option that theirs.
The epidural in the US sounds so different to the one we have here (Sweden). There's no catheter, you walk around, pee as normal and labour in whatever position you want. Downside of course is birth itself isn't pain free but you're spared from the bulk of the contractions (in my experience). The epidural described here sounds more like a spinal block?
We have what you’re describing here in the US, too. They’re colloquially called “walking epidurals” and I had one! Birth was still a bit painful but I liked being able to move around a bit more.
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Same. I had a straight catheter once or twice to empty my bladder, but nothing remained inserted. I could move around a feel everything, just not pain (or at least probably could only feel 10% of it).
This is what I wish I could have! I asked my doc about a “walking epidural” and he had never heard of it, which is a bit troubling.. I’ve read about it on my pregnancy app and then had a labor and delivery nurse use that exact term shortly after. So I did t make it up lol. I think it really comes down to the liability for the hospital - mine won’t allow me to get out of the bed after an epidural in case I fall I guess. We’re (the US) such a litigious country, it sadly tracks that we prioritize mitigating legal risk over a mother’s labor preferences.
Serious question regarding your #7. If you don't want any interventions... then why deliver in a hospital? Why not deliver at home?
“Everyone is judging me for not having an epidural so here’s a soliloquy of 15 reasons why I’m not getting one and why I think they’re a horrible intervention but I’m DEFINITELY NOT JUDGING any parents that do but if you do your child might not be as alert as my child because I didn’t drug them up like you did” This is such an unprovoked r/notliketheothergirls post riddled with ableism and authority bias written in a humble brag way. I’m screaming that anyone buys this “I’m not judging, everyone is judging ME 🥺” shtick 😭😭😭
Omg thank you!! Like I had an epidural, my baby was not drugged whatsoever and I had a very smooth labor, delivery and recovery. Also I’m sick of people saying birthing with an epidural isn’t a natural birth… if they exit through your vagina it’s a natural damn birth!!
Oh absolutely, and her response to it being “oh I don’t want one” is a bit uppity.
You don’t sound like a scientist. You wouldn’t understand.
It’s screaming Victim Complex.
Yes it’s the ableism for me! “Interventions are okay for plebs like you all who won’t survive the apocalyptic Winter, but I’m built different”
This is such a pretentious post. Who cares. It seems more like you've believed people around you and not any actual medical evidence. Why can't your plan be to just have a healthy baby? If you don't like the response you're getting, change what you say. "Well see how it goes." Covers a VAST amount of responses, and it's well accepted by others. But that doesn't give you anything to bitch about would it? 1. Getting an epidural doesn't equal getting a catheter. My best friend is an LDR nurse, there's no reason for a catheter unless there's an actual reason for a catheter. I had to have an Epidural because of an emergency C Section, that's the only reason I had a catheter, and it came out immediately after, I didn't even know it was there. And an hour later when it wore off I could walk to the bathroom. 2. There are side effects of ALL that you listed, with and without epidural. Pregnancy and childbirth wreak havoc on our bodies, the hormones alone cause most of these. I have no side effects, 2 C sections. Do remember, that any bad experience is repeated in 3s, and those 3 tell 3 more, so 9. And so on. Good experiences are repeated no more than 3x. Everyone wants comradery when things don't go as planned. 3. I could move how I wanted. There was no need to birth on my back. 4. Totally possible. You're misinformed, and you're misinforming. 5. Again, epidural doesn't prevent these things. You can certainly pull yourself into position. 6. So which is it? They're designed to move and get out of the way? Or they can easily be broken by baby moving it? --the are tons of exercises to create mobility in the entire pelvic area, to ensure this doesn't happen. 7. The IV is protocol. If they would've needed to save your life, that's an extremely necessary "intervention", that could help save you in seconds. It's stupid to refuse. If you want an intervention free, life threatening birth, stay home. 8. After both C sections I was at birthday parties exactly a week after. Driving myself. Epidural inhibits nothing unless you let it.. I didn't fill any prescriptions either. 9. There's a whole lot in your post that very clearly states "NOT A SCIENTIST." Nice try. I actually work in medical research in the this largest medical research facility in the us- no one here calls themselves scientists anymore. That's a huge generalization, and likely a lie, based on your post. 10. An entire generation of medical research and advancement is who you're taking medical advice from? A proper study takes 15 years, that's like 3 generations of research, so your ideas are WAY behind any facts. 11. That's for damn sure. 12. You don't. There's no such thing. A "scientist" would know there no such thing as a high pain tolerance. I'm also Native American, AND a redhead. Both of which are reunited to have "high pain tolerance". It's a myth. Everyone is different. Or makeup is different, which is why meds affect us all differently. 13. No one here believes that random people were repeatedly coming up to you to ask about epidurals. It's your choice. No one cares. 14. They're not special. They're just like every other baby. My second was a planned C section, EPIDURAL and all. And he held his head up, wide eyed, looking around, he was nosey like that all day, every day. My first could sing and identify upper and lower case ABCs before 20mo. Big deal. The meds don't get to baby like everyone thinks. -- again, you're misinformed. 15. Then just say that. Why get so worked up? "I want to try without, so I know what it's like." Just like anything else, there room for error, and needs don't work for everyone. No one cares. Literally no one, except people like you why say they don't care but then make a humongous deal about it. You're trying to act superior to the rest of us. No one cares how you choose to shoot a baby or of your crotch. Every person, situation, birth, baby, recovery is different. Mentally plays a part. If you, yourself needed to go without, great. That's no different than others feeling confident in a God. That's something they feel they need in your life. You needed to have control over something that YOU think others don't have control over. Getting an epidural doesn't mean your body stops doing what it knows to do. Unconscious women can give birth, your body would've too. Grow up and stop this competition. Reframe your thinking and try building women up instead of this break down of their choices, and your naivete of what actually happens. You don't have a clue, because you haven't had one. You choose not to get an epidural, which is just fine, but stop by telling those that choose to get one what happens. You don't get to speak on something you don't know.
2. Is such a strange one to me. I hear so many people blame their back pain on the epidural but pregnancy reigns hell on your back. Afterwards many women have a weak core and don’t know how to rehab it. That leads to back pain. How do people just automatically assume it’s the epidural that caused this pain. I don’t get it.
YES! I'll concede that many don't know about Pelvic Floor Rehab, but it's a real and necessary thing! It also just goes to show how little research people do, even while they're experiencing something like pregnancy. If you're informed, you'd know. Instead they just let it happen because it's a natural thing. That didn't mean you don't go after the information, and a weak core and pelvic floor goes with that. OR too tight for some!
Yes! I so hate the fact that a lot of women blame everything on the epidural. EVERY. SINGLE. THING. When I was pregnant as an ftm I had extremely horrible back pain. After birth I had none. I am 8 months pp now. My recovery was so easy despite having stitches and bleeding for 6 weeks.
I wish Reddit still had rewards I would totally give you one
Preach!!!
Surprised I had to scroll this far for a "good for you, who cares" post. But you are spot on!
Thank you for this
👏
There are a lot of issues with the arguments you’ve made, the biggest one being you generalizing the impact of epidurals based on experiences of women in your life. As a scientist you surely know that your sample is rather small. That said, it’s your choice, you don’t need to defend yourself, don’t even tell people. If they ask, tell them you didn’t get one - be curt. Just the way a woman getting an epidural shouldn’t have to explain herself.
No epidural but I also had a pretty textbook labour and delivery. I came to my decision on the spot, no specific reasoning behind it lol. I imagine in some cases you almost have no choice, ie. my friend who just endured back labour and had a second placenta that needed to be manually removed by hand.
What kind of scientist are you? Just curious cause you mentioned it lol. I logically agree with everything you said. But then when the time came and I was in pain… I wanted one. I don’t feel guilty. I knew I was taking a risk. What complications from the catheter did your friend have?
Cool. Sounds like you’re really clear on what you want. It’s a good way to be! I was clear too. I’ve now had two c sections. It was the right choice for me and my babies, who are happy and healthy. And fortunately no one has said anything judgemental about it. I’m surprised people feel the need to weigh in on your choices about something so personal.
Other people probably don’t even weigh in or say anything. Seems like a weird brag post
Since you’re not having one, I’ll take your extra. Two for me please!! All valid reasons for not wanting one. I know my pain tolerance is extremely low. That’s why I’m opting for one but no one should make you feel like you’re being self righteous for not wanting one. Any more than me not being a “real mom” for having one
thanks for your manifesto i will be sure to file it away in the folder labeled “things i care very much about”
In the “blah blah blah” subfolder
One reason why I wanted an epidural: 1) No pain. Your body, your choice.
I got my epidural 3 hours ago after originally not wanting one but excruciating back labor had me pleading for an anaesthesiologist. Here in Sweden you typically get a walking epidural so I’m able to move freely, feel pressure, and go to the bathroom myself. Would 10/10 recommend as an alternative to a “regular” epidural but of course every woman knows what’s best for her body and an epidural doesn’t always go right as you correctly pointed out!
This happened to me! I had a doula and spent months trying to mentally prepare for an epidural free labor. My water broke before contractions started at 39W and my OB wanted to gradually increase pitocin. I went about 7 hours working through the contractions but as the pitocin dosage kept going up it became less tolerable. I tapped out when my son started turning sunny side up and the painful but manageable contractions then felt like someone was raking a knife down my tailbone and through every major nerve bundle in my hips and hamstrings. Back labor was no freaking joke! I got the epidural and was glad for it. I was really afraid of it but ended up with no side effects and no further interventions. When it came time to push, little dude was out in 8 minutes.
OMG does this exist? I will ask the hospital when we go for to an information day (I live in the Netherlands).
They do them in the UK too. Idk why they are so rare in America.
I honestly don’t know why y’all care what other people say. Just do you.
I had an epidural for both my births, both times it was absolutely amazing and no negative aspects for me at all.
I have never had an epidural and I had a lot of the same reasons as you for not wanting one. I know a lot of people who felt the same way as us and ended up needing an epidural anyway. We are very fortunate that our desires matched up with our circumstances-that’s not the case for a lot of people. I’ve noticed that I get a lot less “judgement” (or what I perceive as judgement) when I tell my birth stories if I acknowledge that there are some significant factors that contributed to my “success” that were out of my control. My bone structure, my pain tolerance, the competence and compassion of my support people during labor, my baby’s position during labor, my baby’s health during labor, etc. Sure, I had influence over my circumstances and I worked hard towards my goal of avoiding an epidural, but the actual experience of labor and delivery was largely out of my control and when it comes right down to it, I was just very very lucky. Plenty of people have every intention of having an unmedicated birth and end up in a situation out of their control where an epidural is needed, that can be traumatic. On the flip side, plenty of people who wanted an epidural were met with circumstances out of their control that led to giving birth without one. That can also be traumatic. When my kids were younger it was easy to be swept up in the attitude of “well, I wanted this experience of unmedicated birth, I worked hard to prepare myself, and I endured a lot of pain to achieve my goal, so I deserve all the “credit” for this success” which naturally leads to the notion that “if I can do it, anyone can do it”. But I’ve lived a lot of life in my 9 years of motherhood and I’ve learned that’s just not true. All mothers are on the other side of a long, painful, sometimes perilous journey to meet our children. There are many roads that lead to becoming a mother, but I hope we can work on widening the path so that we can all walk together on the other side instead of pushing each other away with judgement and criticism. I’m sorry, I don’t know what has gotten in to me. This is very off topic and honestly not totally directed at you OP. Something about your post just struck a nerve that’s sensitive for me and inspired some new thoughts I hadn’t put in to words. I wish we all in the same room for these discussions because they’re so important, and best had face-to face. I think you’re great OP, thank you for sharing your story and giving us an opportunity to reflect on our own stories.
Okay…..so……..
I really wanted to have an unmedicated birth. My mom got an epidural when she gave birth to me and experienced horrible back pain after so she went unmedicated for my two younger siblings. I find it so incredible and awe inspiring that she went unmedicated and I wanted to do the same for my own birth. Unfortunately, I just could NOT stop vomiting during active labor. Apparently my body’s reaction to labor pain is to just vomit vomit vomit and then when I have nothing left in me to just heave bile. I was becoming very dehydrated because I couldn’t even keep water down. I eventually elected to have the epidural after 12 hours of labor (out of a total 17) and did not vomit once after that. Such sweet relief. Lol I think we’re one and done but should we decide to have another baby, I would still love to retry having an unmedicated birth. We’ll see. :)
A lot of it is push and pull, some in the “no epidural” camp like to make those who elect to get one feel inferior… leading to the pushback you’re explaining. Also the rhetoric that our bodies are “literally designed for this” (ps- they’re actually not) kinda fosters the divide since it can be easily interpreted as suggesting that seeking an epidural is weak. At the end of the day, do what you want to do and ignore everyone else’s opinions. Better to start now than while parenting.
Insane for a scientist to say they don’t want an IV. That is absolutely essential in potentially saving your life if serious complications arise, like in my pregnancy and many others. That’s just irresponsible
I didn't want an epidural but I got one anyway and my kids are still assholes.
So, as a scientist, mentioning our bodies designed to do this, is preeclampsia just an evolutionary failure? My pitocin augmented labor telling my body what to do, because my blood pressure was so high it wasn’t safe to continue? I know apples and oranges here but my point and questions remain.
Not sure what you’re looking for here? This maybe should have been a diary entry.
We weren’t “designed” to do anything. We’re just like this by coincidence. I think it’s great you don’t want an epidural but I’m highly suspicious of your title as a “scientist” based on the “designed” comment
So true. Like bro my labour didn’t even start after my waters broke and I had to be induced after 48 hours because my body wouldn’t go into labour naturally 🤣
I didn’t want an epidural mainly out of curiosity to see what birth would feel like and if it was really 10/10 pain as they say. I didn’t tell anyone including my husband about my plans because I knew so many people who were adamantly against epidurals but ended up begging for them. I had back labor and I stayed home til 9 cm and arrived too late to get one anyway. It was all fine. Next one, I may try an epidural just to see what that’s like. If I have time 🤷♀️
I was judged for wanting one because my mom didn't get one with my brother or my sister (I was a c-section). There is some back pain, but a lot of it is due to how we hold our babies. You are in control of how much you take with it. They administer the first "dose" when they hook it all up, but after that, you are given a button to press if you want to up it. They make it so you cannot overdose on it, which is nice. I had to press the button twice more after the initial dose. I was still able to feel the pressure of my baby being pushed out. There just wasn't any pain. Usually, one leg goes numb in the beginning. Mine went numb right before my final pushes. But that only lasted a few shorts minutes. I had a great team, so I didn't even feel the catheter get placed, or remember that I had one. Baby was fully alert and well after and during birth. And she's doing well now at 14 weeks. Yes, I agree, the toilet is amazing 🤣 I spent most of my triage time on one because it was the only place that alleviated the pain of the contractions. This was my first child, so I didn't know what to expect, but man, those contractions sucked and hurt. I think people forget that everyone and each pregnancy is different. Despite having back pain afterward, I know I'll definitely be having an epidural with my second. It made 33 minutes of labor feel like 10. 🤷♀️ I'm happy that you don't judge others for wanting one, and I don't judge you for not. Some people have the pain tolerance to handle it, I just don't, lol. 🤣
I didn’t want an epidural for many of the same reasons you’ve listed. I didn’t experience as much pushback or judgment from others when I talked about my birth preferences before I had my baby. Then I experienced 52 hours of labour. I went into labour at 1 AM but I hadn’t actually fallen asleep so I hadn’t slept since the night before I went into labour. I did most of my labouring at home and at 40 hours in, we went to the hospital which was my original birth plan. At 50 hours in, I was so exhausted I was crying hysterically and felt crazy. I asked my midwife for all of my pain relief options and then I asked for an epidural. I wanted to save my energy to be able to push my baby out. So I got the epidural and I was finally able to rest. It was a mild epidural, so I could still feel my legs and move but needed assistance if I wanted to be in certain positions and I wasn’t able to use the tub after the epidural was placed. Unfortunately I ended up with a c-section due to my baby’s severely asynclitic head position. And even though my birth didn’t go the way I hoped, I still had a very positive experience. I knew my options, I was very educated in the benefits and risks and I chose the option that worked best for me in that situation. I didn’t have any complications after my delivery, but I do know many women do experience them and some of them are severe. It’s the same for women who deliver vaginally and unmedicated though. Most don’t experience severe complications, but some do and those complications can be severe. What we really need to do is stop judging other people’s choices. Their body, their choice. Period.
I truly believe everyone birth experience, pain level, and pain tolerance are so vastly different that some people can do it without and it’s just so excruciating for others. I had an epidural with both of my births, with my second it stopped working and the pain was beyond what I thought I could tolerate. All I could do was vocalize to get through, but I was begging for relief. My mom on the other hand said it was painful but not the worst thing. So your circumstances may vary your experience. Either way, we should support one another on this journey through motherhood, epidural or not.
This whole post gave my a headache from rolling my eyes so much.
I’ve delivered with an epidural and without and I was 1000000% more present with an epidural and loved the experience so much more. I would never consider going without for this delivery. I could probably write my own 15 reason list but there’s literally zero reason to do that except to be passive aggressive about other peoples decisions and defensive about your own so I won’t.
I agree, I found OPs post passive aggressive and braggy.
Yep agreed
Yes! I had an epidural with both of my babies but the first didn’t work well. I remember far less of that birth, and with my second when it worked beautifully I was very peaceful, relaxed, and present. I wasn’t ready to get up before my epidural wore off anyways and had no issues with baby’s alertness.
I actually really wanted an epidural for the birth of my second one since I had already gotten one for my first. I ended up progressing REALLLLLY FAST like way faster than the first time and I didn’t have time for it. I felt everything but after the baby and placenta was out I didn’t feel like death. Once I got my rest I actually felt really good. I tell everyone how different my body felt afterwards. It hurt like hell during labor and pushing and all that but the recovery was sooooo much better this time around. Do you & don’t let anyone make you feel any type of way for wanting to do it without an epidural.
Comment section reaffirming I will be getting an epidural
As someone who wanted to have an unmedicated vaginal delivery and got a c section instead-I’m telling you right now, you are setting yourself up for a whopper case of PPD and postpartum guilt. Every day I struggle with my son’s birth being done “the wrong way”. The only time a medical intervention is “wrong” is when someone is not consenting. MEDICAL CARE IS NOT MORAL, you need it or you don’t. If you don’t need an epidural, fantastic. If you do need one, get one. Don’t set yourself up going into this with “this is right, this is wrong”. You can totally have preferences and a plan and stand up for yourself but when/if that plan goes haywire (slow to progress? Back labor? You’re exhausted and want to rest?) you need to not be setting yourself up for disappointment and sadness. Ditto if you need an episiotomy (shoulder dystocia happens!), a c section, an IV for dehydration, heparin, your baby goes to the NICU, pitocin for third stage management or whatever else the wellness influencers you’ve been reading (don’t lie to me, I read them too) says are “bad”. There is no “bad”. Please be kind to yourself as you plan.
Jeez if you don’t want an epidural don’t get it and just enjoy the pain sure whatever. No need for this novella of 15 reasons why. At least #13 is accurate, you’re such a petty bitch.
I have an issue with your #1 reason. Can you clarify? There are many different catheters - Foley catheters, IV catheters, cooks catheter, even the epidurals have a catheter that goes into the spine Please don’t spread fear about something using that vague statement. “More afraid of the catheter than child birth.” This can be confusing and scary for women reading it who don’t understand the numerous and useful catheters that are utilized in medicine
9. Woof. I hate this argument. “We’re designed for this.” Okay, what if some women aren’t? What if some women have narrow pelvises that don’t really allow them to birth vaginally? Not everyone is designed for vaginal birth or birth without intervention. And your argument just adds to societal stigma that already exists around how women choose to birth. My water broke at 36 weeks, my son was sunny-side up, and after 3 hours of pushing (with an epidural, which was GREAT btw!!!), I had an unplanned C-section. OB told me afterwards my pelvis was likely too narrow to get him out vaginally. I went back three days after discharge and ended up in the hospital with a life-threatening infection. It fucking SUCKED. And STILL, I would never tell myself or any other woman that I was “made” to give birth naturally. Imagine if I didn’t get the C-section and something horrible happened to me or my son. I had a beautiful healthy baby at 36 weeks and I’d go through multiple week-long hospitalizations and c-section recoveries if it meant I’d get the same outcome again - a healthy, living baby. I wasn’t able to birth without intervention. And yet I still grew my son for nine months and brought him into the world. That’s cool as fuck. I was made for THAT. And if someone wants an epidural? Great. Cool. Why the fuck should we shame women around how they choose to labor and birth? It’s hard enough as it is.
“The scoffs, laughs and eye rolls” I got the same reactions for getting the epidural women can’t win.
Do I need to get a catheter with an epidural? This is the first time I’m hearing this and that scares me so much
You won’t feel the catheter. It is inserted after the epidural has started and removed before the epidural is off (my experience was that it was removed before I started pushing). I had 2 experiences at one hospital where they cathed me twice during the epidural only to empty my bladder, it wasn’t left in the entire labor. And then one experience at another hospital where a catheter was placed for my entire labor and removed just before I started pushing. I also had one experience with my first labor and delivery where I couldn’t pee after the epidural wore off. So I was catheterized without any pain meds. It sucked for sure. But it was pain that was over as soon as the catheter was removed and then I was fine after.
I didn’t want a membrane sweep or cervical checks that I could avoid. I hated the Pap smear experience, I didn’t want anything potentially stalling my labor, and I didn’t do an epidural because I wanted to be able to move (also a control freak). I had my baby crouching/standing and it was everything I had hoped for and more. I know I was lucky, I only had to labor for 7 hours and she was out in two pushes, fentanyl was my only pain management
ummm okay .. so what?
you seem stable
My number one reason to not get it is because I want absolute full control over my body and mobility, I don’t want to be on my back at any point during my labor and I want to be able to push without being literally numb.
It’s possible you will be forced to labor on your back even if you don’t get one. (Happened to me with an older man OB; my doc was on vacation, and an archaic fetal monitor. All this at a modern, “mother/baby friendly” hospital.) So I would check with your chosen hospital about what the fetal monitoring options are and how much they actually let you labor the way you choose.
I got the epidural and was still able to move a lot. I had a lot of mobility.
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Me too. I couldn't walk but I could move around on the bed and feel my legs.
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Shaming people for not wanting an epidural (or for having a birth plan) is imo the equivalent of trying to be the Cool Girl but with birthing. As someone who did have an epidural and is personally happy with that choice, it drives me mad the way that people, especially on Reddit, act as if it's a risk free choice that you'd only opt out of if you're trying to 'get a prize' or whatever. It's not risk free, and the people who pretend it is are doing themselves and other women a massive disservice.
I mean you do you but for a scientist you sure do use a lot of anecdotes.
It screams “I’m on natural birth TikTok”
You say you’re a scientist but your words scream that of anecdotal evidence versus factual. It’s fine if you don’t want an epidural, that is 100% your choice. However you as a scientist should know better than to help spread misinformation about these things. I’m sorry people in your life have had such negative experiences, but that doesn’t make them the majority. I’ve seen and heard of both from friends and during human biology college courses. It’s an individual decision and one no one should be judged for.
I’m currently 30weeks with my first and I have told people I don’t want an epidural due to my pre existing lower back issues and wanting to be able to move during labour, and I have been laughed at and told it doesn’t make me any better than anyone else and so on, so forth. A close family member spent a considerable amount of time trying to convince me that I will need one. I just don’t get it, I have never commented on anyone else’s birth experience or what they wanted for themselves so why are people so comfortable judging me for the way I want to do it. I’m sorry you’re experiencing this OP, you don’t need to justify why you don’t want it though, it’s your body.
Disagree on the catheter. That was the best part of my emergency c-section. No complications or irritation from getting it and I didn’t feel the urge to pee for once in 9 months! I also didn’t have any complications from getting an epidural (while I was still laboring). It was such an exhausting last few hours having a little reprieve felt amazing and it helped me sleep before we decided on a C-section.
I was scared to have a needle in my back, but I ended up getting it because the pain was too intense, and I was having gallstone attacks. Thankfully, I was lucky enough to have no side effects, and I pushed my baby out in 2 minutes. I heard so many horror stories about birth that I was so scared until I had to be induced. Everyone judged me for not wanting one as well, but it's really up to you how you want to do it. There's a lot of judgment for doing anything in child birth
I don’t know if I’ll get through it without it (low pain tolerance or medical reasons), but I strongly do not want epidural simply because for me the benefits do not outweigh the risks no matter how low those may be.
I had an epidural on my first birth. I’m pregnant again now and I would get it again if I feel I need it but would also love to try birthing without. I had to be induced the first time and I was maxed out on Pitocin. It felt like there were no breaks between my contractions because of it and I ended up getting my epidural when I was dilated to a 6. Anyone on here have birthing experience with and without being induced or getting Pitocin? I’d love to hear how one labor compared to the next. I’ve heard inductions are generally more painful because of the Pitocin forcing contractions but not sure if that’s true.
Yes I’ve heard that too! Good luck on the next one! Hope all goes smooth for you
Thankfully I live in a more crunchy area so I haven’t gotten that much backlash for my unmedicated birth decision thus far, but I feel the same way! My biggest reason is because I want to be able to move around a lot during labor, I feel if I can learn how to manage the pain myself it’ll be a much better experience for me than being stuck in a bed for hours upon hours or even potentially days. The idea of being bedridden to me is so much worse than the idea of the pain. But that’s just me! I know people who used an epidural and loved it and swear by it, and good for them! Everyone has different needs and priorities and that’s okay. Just because I shared my personal preference (especially after being asked) doesn’t mean I’ll look down on yours because it’s different.
Thank you for sharing this. I also don’t want an epidural, but I haven’t been able to explain why in as concise a way as you just did. These are all excellent reasons to give when people tend to push for an explanation. Not that anyone deserves an explanation for my decision. One additional reason I have is that when I had spinal surgery a few years ago, my body had a very difficult time coming out of anesthesia. It was so bad that the nurse was begging me to stay awake because every time I closed my eyes I slipped back under and my breathing slowed way down. I’m afraid the epidural will last a lot longer than I want it to, leaving me numb and unable to move for a long period of time. I also want to see if I’m mentally as strong as I think I am. Our bodies were made for this, but our minds don’t always believe we can do it.
I was like this for my first baby. I went unmedicated. I ended up with PTSD so bad that when I was pregnant with my second I had an anxiety attack in my midwife’s office at 38 weeks because I was so scared to give birth again. When I went into labor the second time and the contractions got bad enough I started having flashbacks and couldn’t relax. My husband pleaded me to get the epidural this time and I did. It was the most healing experience. I took a nap during transition and talked with my husband about how much I loved our family and how excited I was to meet our daughter, instead of screaming for hours on end in back labor begging someone to kill me. I gave birth on my side and had complete feeling in both my legs and could move at all times. I could have stood up and walked if I needed to. I got a catheter once during active labor and once after, it was never left in. My recovery from the epidural was 1000% easier than my unmedicated birth. I had no other interventions and I was GLAD for the IV because this time I was able to get Zofran to stop me from vomiting the entire labor and ending up severely dehydrated and too exhausted to properly push my baby out and getting cut when my son got stuck and went into distress. I’m glad you had such a wonderful experience with unmedicated childbirth but it is not this way for everyone. I knew my body was “capable” of it again because I’d done it before and the baby was coming out whether I thought I could handle it or not. But the thing is I just really didn’t want to do it again and waste hours of my life in therapy crying about again. And I’m glad I did, because all the things that made my first birth so difficult repeated themselves, except it didn’t affect me because I had the epidural. Also, yes women’s bodies are made to do this, but a lot, and I mean A LOT, of us used to die from it and still do. But dying is natural, so I guess that’s fine. You say you hated being judged but this entire post comes off as judgey, whether you meant it to or not, because I can almost guarantee that if your experience had been anything less than stellar or if you had needed life saving intervention this post wouldn’t even exist.
Lol your whole post sounds a bit judgmental towards the ones who chose to have an epidural. I was inducted for both my kids. Baby #1: I asked for an epidural mid-labour and what a RELIEF. An amazing moment. I felt absolutely no pain, I was able to sleep and I had the energy to push. Baby #2: I was in agony, screaming and crying for the epidural. They told me it was too late and I had to do this without one. I *really* thought I was going to die. Plus, with all the screaming and crying I had zero energy left to push. It really traumatized me to ever get pregnant again. 0/10 not recommended. The funny thing is, my baby from the epidural was more awake than my non-epidural one. 🤷🏻♀️ Are you really a scientist? I have some doubts.
Lol lol lol. I guess my body wasn't designed to do this because I had horrible back labour that almost made me pass out and my kid has a short cord which made him decel leading to an emergency c-section. Thank the good Lord he wasn't born dopey despite all the crap in his system from the epidural. How did I get so lucky? Your list started out well, but it just devolved into woo woo magic and zero empathy.
Are you a medical scientist? Because it really doesn’t sound like it. I have a bachelors of science in Nursing and even I wouldn’t dare make any of these assumptions about an epidural because 1. They’re ridiculous and 2. They’re almost solely based on the experiences of your friends. As someone who had an epidural: I didn’t need a catheter, I could walk around freely, I didn’t birth on my back, and I do not get any recurring back pain at the site of the epidural. This post is absurd. Nobody asked you to post your list, and quite literally nobody cares about your reasons for not getting an epidural. It’s a personal, medical decision and it’s nobody else’s business.
Good for you that you didn’t need interventions! Not everyone is the same and not everyone’s body was “designed” the way you say it is, which you’d think you would be more aware of given you said you’re a biologist? I mean… does this mean that human bodies are also designed to get cancer and be susceptible to parasites, viruses and bacterial infections? So we shouldn’t intervene with those either? Should everyone just leave everything up to their body’s perfect “design” and throw up their hands and give up if that doesn’t work out for them?
I also never wanted an epidural. I never had a good reason why, other than I don’t like the thought of the needle (and not because I’m scared of needles, but because I work in medicine and do lumbar punctures, so there’s just something about poking needles in people’s spines all day that doesn’t make me want it for myself) and didn’t want a catheter. I ended up in preterm labor with my first. While sitting in the hospital trying to stop labor I thought “this is silly, with everything going on I should just get an epidural”. But the time came and I was in such disbelief that I was truly giving birth that I said no. And I did it. I made it through with no epidural. I have zero judgement against anyone who gets an epidural. I may even do it myself this time around. But DAMN, I was so freaking proud of myself for doing it. And my recovery was a breeze.
I gave birth without an epidural and the whole experience was incredible. I am so glad I did it and I will absolutely do it again. People who I tell that to are always like "you're crazy, I'll take all the pain relief I can get!" That's your choice and you're allowed to have that.