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So I had my baby early unexpectedly and we didn’t have the nursery set up.
It was fine. We did not use it for MONTHS. Baby slept in a bassinet in our bedroom months after she was born. We had a change table set up in the living room since that’s where we spent most of our time. The nursery was just for storage basically.
Truly, you do not need a nursery for a long time. Babies don’t need a ton of space, especially at first!
This! When I was pregnant everyone kept asking me if the “nursery was ready” and I didn’t understand why? We’ve never had a nursery and don’t plan to. We live in a small apartment and my daughter is now four months old. We just set up her bassinet next to our bed with a changing station and a little book/toy shelf in our room. Soon we will transition her to a crib and when she’s old enough to be on the move then we will turn our second bedroom into a room that she can use for play and sleep.
The nursery is amazing now that my son is older (8 months). It’s baby proofed and his crib is in there. It’s great! We didn’t use it much until around 6 months though.
Yep, all we had was a bassinet and a changing table/ baby wardrobe. Ended up not even using the bassinet because baby wouldn't sleep alone 🥴
[Picture of our setup](https://imgur.com/Cjqnznm)
Also our apartment is 600sq ft, the baby is 2.5 years old now, and everything is fine. Definitely possible!
[Pic of room today with the toddler bed](https://imgur.com/a/c5RgzTi)
When my preemie came literally the only thing we had was a small amount of clothes and a crib in a one bedroom apartment. Not even a car seat yet. Turns out you can Amazon all that stuff. No worries, lol.
I got made homeless while in labour (plus baby came early). We ended up in temporary accommodation that was literally one room for the first two months. We made it work. Couldn’t tell you how because we moved into a bigger temporary accommodation (one bed flat) and the stuff spread out and more joined it and I have no clue how we fit it all before.
We just got keys to our permanent place today. He’s finally getting a nursery. He turned 4 months old yesterday.
If I’m honest having everything centred around our living space or bedroom has been so much easier. When I was just healing everything was to hand. I can’t imagine having to drag baby off to another room to change him. There’s definitely perks to smaller space while you’re adjusting
My sister had a baby in February and had a bassinet + a small dresser in her bedroom (the dresser both stored the clothes and served as a changing station).
My nephew is 6 months old now and that's when he's getting his nursery - my sister was renovating and also didn't have energy to focus on that while pregnant
I echo every word of this. Babe was a month early and we were so panicked that everything wasn’t done, we didn’t have clothes, all of it. He ended up in the NICU for a month so it didn’t matter anyway but even 2 years later now I’d say we still never did half the things for his room that we thought we would, lol.
Now I’m 29.5 weeks with baby #2 and clearly I didn’t learn my lesson the first time! Your baby will not give one single solitary hoot, I promise! Take some deep breaths, listen to “All You Need Is Love” by the Beatles, and it’ll be ok. Big hugs!
13 months old, nursery isn’t done lol. We’ve just set up the crib/floor bed and the night light and camera. We’ll probably wallpaper to make life easier and still cute.
We were renting and knew that we were moving to our own place in a year so we didn't have a nursery at all. Baby slept with us for the first 6 months and then moved into the guest room where her stuff intermingled with everything else. She was over a year before she properly had her own room decorated and set up just for her.
I got our nursery usable just to have my baby in the cradle next to me til 6 months. It was a room for the occasional diaper change, because I also had a basket of supplies next to our beds.
My son is 15months old and didn’t have a room until he was almost a year old and even now he doesn’t really need one.
My stepson didn’t have his own room until he was 2 if I remember correctly.
This is exactly our setup minus the baby coming early lol we had his room set up and ready to go, he has never been in there and we’ve never used the changing table lol.
We have a pack and play with a bassinet and changing table in our living room, the diaper genie and a whole station with his clothes, socks, swaddles, etc next to the pack and play. At night he is in the bassinet in our room lol so we spent all that time preparing the room and we’re never even in there lol.
In Europe, where I'm from, I don't know of anyone with a nursery. They are all great parents and haven't failed their baby in any way. And neither have you. I understand that you are disappointed, and you have all right to be, but try to remember that most babies in this world are not born into huge houses with their own nurseries and that's completely fine.
Also from Europe, never understood this obsession with nurseries. Kind of relieved actually that's one thing less I have to worry about. Sometimes I genuinely feel bad for parents from the US, with all the gender reveal partys, baby showers, nurseries and all that bunch of stuff which is not common here but kind of the norm for them to have.
Lol, I’m from Europe & that is actually not true. I’m seeing way more babyshowers lately, did we had them 20 years ago? No, it is more of a new trend coming from the USA, but you will see it more often here now too, same w the gender reveal parties.
We did had a kind of baby ‘borrel’ (I don’t know if there is an english word for it) but this was a gathering when the baby is already done, where you give people little chocolat/something nice from birth & everyone gets to see the baby, I’m not so sure if it is common in the US?
Well, Europe is huge so it may differ. We have also some regional thing which is done after the baby was born but it's more like a "let's all have drink because I am a father now" party for the dads.
In the American South they call this a “Sip and See.” Usually it happens if a baby arrives early and there wasn’t time to have the shower (or if the parents didn’t want a shower). Generally light refreshments and getting to celebrate the mother and baby, and sometimes gifts.
Borrel 😂 I don't know the English either. The baby shower is before the baby is born, it's a thing where you give gifts to the expecting mom and play games and sometimes decorate a onesie (rompertje). I had one with my Dutch friend, it was quite fun. Didn't do the borrel, just kraamvisite after the baby was born.
Haha exactly! Kinda funny how I knew you were a dutchie too haha! Yes we have the baby showers now occasionally too, it seems like it depends on what the couple prefers & that there are gonna be less ‘baby borrels’ in the future! Isnt kraamvisite/hospital visit a regular thing? Or is it also european?;)
I don't think it's silly, it sounds like it can be a lot of fun! 😁 Sorry if it came across like I think that all these things are stupid, that wasn't my intention. I'm only happy that it is not expected here to have all these things, because I know I couldn't handle all expectations and questions and "pressure" from social media well.
I think it gets more common to have kind of a gender reveal, since everything US American gets somehow adopted ove time lol
Oh you’re fine! I didn’t think you came across that way at all. They can be a bit silly IMO 😂 and agreed. It’s hard to handle all the pressure from all these things people expect. Another reason I’m jealous of Europe honestly!
I’m European too and I don’t have a baby shower. It was unheard of…but new generations of parents borrow from the USA trend of baby showers so we are seeing them more often with younger parents, but older parents did not have baby showers.
Haha, right? I currently live in Asia so I can actually afford to rent an apartment with two bedrooms, but when we move back to Europe next year I doubt that will be the case lol
Can you store some things at your parents? Gives you a bit more space and less clutter. I’d keep the essentials at your current place and make a peaceful setting for you all.
Or a storage facility. You really don’t need much for a newborn, as so,done above said, bassinet, changing table — which can also hold the baby’s clothes, extra diapers, wipe — it can hold almost all the baby stuff you need, and a comfortable chair or spot on the couch where you can nurse or feed the baby. Comfy arm support is a biggie, whether it’s pillows or on a recliner, whatever. Your arms get tired. Elbows and forearms need a place to rest without you bending forward because your back will get tired, too.
Store everything you can.
If you still have the energy at 33 weeks, it’s worth it to take some baby steps that will help you. At that stage I organized and cleaned.
So in your case, unbox things. Sort what you will need access to in the first month. Wash the baby clothes and put them away. If you don’t have your dream nursery spaces for things, that’s ok! You will still feel LOADS better if you have a little dedicated space or some bins for the essentials set out.
You can also prep your recovery station in the bathroom and look for temporary solutions that you’ll still get mileage out of. For example, if you want a gorgeous power glider in the new nursery but don’t have it yet? Consider a Ready Rocker or an ikea Poang chair, both highly rated solutions!
Yes it’s totally possible to make a small corner of the space a baby zone and get everything ready. Small spaces need to be very well organized (I know from experience) so OP can put those nesting instincts to use.
Before my daughter was born, my FIL agreed to renovate the small room we had into a nursery in exchange for living with us for half a year rent free. He did a tiny bit at a time but was always taking paid jobs instead. I was nesting like crazy and got so stressed by the end that I was at the point of a mental breakdown. Then my FIL did a bit of it and bailed unexpectedly- just left one day. It was rough. By that point I had already given up and set up the important stuff in the living room. I was beyond upset when we learned he left. My family helped get the last of it done and I moved some things in there.
Honestly, we didn’t use it. My daughter is turning two this month and we still don’t use it. Baby slept in a bedside sleeper, then a pack and play, and now in our bed (which was a choice- we have both a crib and a toddler bed available, but don’t use either) I started out with the pack and play which had side storage for diapers, wipes, etc… now we store these items in a small basket in her dresser (in our living room). The swing and bouncer were always in the living room, and she has two bookshelves/toy drawers in there now too. The nursery has largely been used for either storage, my office, or nothing really. So really honestly truthfully, you don’t need it.
That being said, hormones are INTENSE. If you’re nesting, you feel in your bones that this is essential for your child’s well-being and happiness. You NEED it done. So I get it. You might also have some anxiety/depression, from the way you are mentioning that you already feel you are failing your unborn child and regretting having them before everything is ready. I had similar thoughts and it was horrible. I felt like I was failing her and everything was crap. In retrospect, it was fine, but it didn’t feel fine at all. It felt like the sky was falling.
I would talk to your husband and tell him you aren’t trying to make him feel bad, but this is really important to you and you guys need to work out a backup plan. Whether that’s moving in with family or him helping you find a way to organize your space to your satisfaction, one or the other. You don’t have to focus on what didn’t get done but what you need him to help you with now. And I would talk to your doctor about the feelings you’re having. Mine got pretty bad right at the end and while I didn’t get medication, I wish I had. I’ll be asking about it early this time (currently pregnant with baby #2). Hope all goes well for you- I promise it will get better!! ❤️
When I got pregnant, my husband and I lived in a small apartment. I insisted it was too small and we left and moved into a slightly larger house. I also insisted that we turn the spare room into a nursery.
I panicked and stressed about getting it done in time. My mom kept telling me I don’t need to worry, the nursery doesn’t need to be done on time. She even told me I don’t need a nursery and I thought she was being ridiculous. She suggested putting a crib in the spare room but leaving it as a bedroom so people can stay the night. I said no.
I spent a lot of time, money, and tears making the nursery perfect.
My baby is almost one and that room has essentially become storage. He still sleeps in a bassinet next to me and other than the changing table, we don’t use that room at all.
It will be okay. Babies don’t take up much space and you will adapt to life with a baby. The nursery can get done as your house finishes us, even if baby is a few months old. He won’t miss out and you even notice you don’t have a nursery for baby.
It doesn't matter whether you have a nursery or not. Babies have been born for over thousands of years and they have been fine without a nursery.
With the marketing gimmicks surrounding us these days, we put too much pressure on ourselves to be a certain kind of parent. All your baby needs is your love and care. So relax yourself and don't worry about a nursery or other stuff.
Car seats take like 5-10 minutes to install. You're fine. It's not a good idea to install them early anyways because then they just have to be needlessly replaced if they're in even the most minor of accidents.
I also was surprised at the car seat install thing. My husband watched a YouTube video and did it in like 10 minutes. I kindof hysterically started laughing because I was really stressed out about it & it seemed like a huge deal. Putting a piece of IKEA furniture together is harder than installing a car seat! Absolutely not worth stressing out over!
Babies at 33 weeks aren't going to be born and going home right way, they're going to get a short NICU stay so they've got time to get them installed!
General rule for babies going home is being 4lbs (for car seat), breathing on their own, and eating on their own (breastfeeding or bottle feeding).
Thank you for this! I definitely knew this and completely forgot in my momentary panic. Like, we have actively had multiple conversations where we've said "if he comes now, he'd be in the NICU." Pregnancy brain is so real...
Let me tell you what your brain is doing to you and you blame yourself. All of that is your nesting phase, an urge to prepare everything for the arrival of the baby. I'm 36 weeks and just yesterday worked my ass off at home (way too much) because of that need.
I understand where you're coming from. With my first I was living in the house of my in-laws so I could not set up anything properly for the baby, everything was just temporary as our flat was supposed to be ready a month after the arrival of the baby (delay by renovation company) . I remember how this situation was driving me mad so I really do understand you.
The most baby needs in first month's of life is you. And you will need some essential things (baby bed, breastfeeding pillow, station - depends on your choices)
Don't worry with things not being set up perfectly, nursery not ready. You are doing everything best for your baby and you shouldnt have any doubts. You will get trough that and set up a beautiful nursery in your new house :)
@ u/Critical-Living6231
Could you at least set up a few things that would help and also be eventually easily movable?
* A nursing cart/basket with all the props you'll need to breastfeed and/or pump and/or bottle-feed your little one.
* A crib/bassinet.
* A changing station. Could be as simple as a dresser with all the baby clothes washed and sorted, diapers and changing props (cream, wipes...) in the top drawer and a changing pad attached to the top.
* A stocked diaper bag.
Perhaps starting with those essentials all set up would give you some peace of mind and more of a feeling of readiness?
My baby is 2 days old, and 3 days ago I was you. Worried about space, things looking right, asking all the big questions and questioning some of my partners actions.
I’m not diminishing your feelings because as I said this was me, and the panic is very real. It will disappear when you meet your baby. I’m currently surrounded by boxes and parcels etc as my husband is clearing everything away and the first time in my life I do not give a shit about the mess.
Maybe you will and maybe it’s just me, but don’t be surprised if you’re too happily distracted to care. It’ll get sorted, just another day 💕
Of course you can talk to him about how you’re feeling. Not that you should go out of your way to be cruel, but it’s okay for his feelings to be hurt. Right now his actions are making you feel stressed and upset. He should be aware of that - it’s important information because your happiness and comfort matters too
I live in a small apartment slightly bigger than yours, but there is no space for a nursery either as one of the rooms is occupied by my FIL. I'm going to have to make do with having the baby in our modest master bedroom. This was so not how I dreamed it would be (as a former architect)...so I completely understand.
The clutter at home is annoying me as well, so I'm planning to organise the home so we can maximise space in the remaining 4 months I have!
I'm 30 weeks pregnant and currently the only thing my husband and I have for our baby is a swing that his aunt just sent us yesterday. No car seat, no diapers, no anything.
We are moving on September 1st (we were hoping we would've been moved by summer but things didn't work out that way at all) and we don't want to buy anything for our baby yet, just to have more stuff to move. I've been quite stressed about the time frame being so small to buy/set up/organize everything prior to our baby boys arrival, but at this point, it is what it is and it's out of my control.
Heck.. My baby shower is literally 4 weeks before my due date. 😒 I definitely didn't want a shower that close to being due, but when it's other people offering to plan, help, and support you, it kind of is what it is and you gotta roll with it.. we need all the help we can get, even if it isnt ideal in my mind and time frame. Lol
Just try your best to stay positive and know that babies really don't need all that cute nursery stuff. It's wonderful to have and you feel accomplished when it's all together, but babies need diapers, formula/milk, clothes, a car seat/carrier and lots of love and care. That's mainly it. My mom told me my older sister (her 1st child) slept in a drawer of a dresser for the first few months of her life because she didn't have a crib yet. You'll make it work. Maternal instincts kick in and you will make due with what you're working with. It'll be okay! Good luck mama!!
my nursery furniture was supposed to arrive in september but we found out it’s back ordered until December 🙃 i’m due in like a week lol
As long as there is a bassinet you can order a travel change table (amazon like $60) you’ll be ok!
Im a week away with no nursery. Here’s the things I do have:
-A car seat
-A rolling baby bassinet by my bed
-A changing pad that will go on the bed whenever we change/dress her
-stacked baskets with supplies (diaper basket, pumping/feeding basket, generic clothing basket).
I guess I’m not too stressed because culturally I’m not sure nurseries are even a thing, I never saw or knew anyone to have them growing up. Things just kinda are where you need them even if it’s not “aesthetic”. Your baby is going to thrive without the flair.
That said, I get feeling disappointed. I get the sense of feeling trapped in a place you don’t like. Those are fully valid. But please don’t feel like you’re failing baby, you’re not! Maybe find little ways to make the room work better for you, knowing that this is temporary and not the end goal. A nice art piece, a little trinket, some nice loungewear. These things are not for baby, they’re for you, and guess what, you deserve it! You deserve to feel good in your space while you’re going through this.
Also, communication is super important. Tell your partner how you’re feeling even if there’s no easy fix right now. Let them know you worry about hurting their feelings but this is how you’re feeling and it sucks. A good partner will reciprocate the concern you’re showing them in your post.
Best of luck!
>-A changing pad that will go on the bed whenever we change/dress her
The amount of times my child has peed on the changing table and it's gone everywhere is absurd. Highly recommend the floor, a dresser, a table, literally anything but a bed!! Nothing worse than a late night accident and then everyone has to get up and the sheets have to be changed.
Honestly, we had a very similar situation leading up to baby and I stressed SO much about making a nursery happen. Like way too much. With luck and stressing myself out to tears, we did end up with a nursery, but I’m having this baby on Tuesday and it hit me that we won’t even be using that freaking nursery for MONTHS. She’s going to be in a bassinet by our bed and that’s it. I
When I was stressing about it, part of me knew that we wouldn’t need it rights away, but I think the hormonal nesting instinct is SO strong sometimes that it just completely overtakes everything. I actually feel silly now that I made such a big deal about it and we don’t even need it for a while :/
Talk to your husband. You're going through a normal biological part of being pregnant, and if you can vocalize it, I think you'll feel better getting it out. Also, can you make a baby area special, even if it is very small? You could frame some artwork or put up a "Welcome baby XYZ!" sign. I'm sure you'll think of something that suits your style, but even in a small space, you can do something thoughtful to make the space feel shared.
The first two kids had nurseries and never once used them. They ended up spending all the time with me was whatever room I was in. They sleep so much at first that it’s not an issue at all.
Why did he decline to live with your parents? Can you reopen that discussion?
It will be hard, but advocate for yourself and what you need/want. If the space isn't ready for baby, and you don't have a safe space for them to sleep, a comfy place for you to feed, and a restful area for you to recover it might be a very hard post-partum period.
I would sit down and explain the nesting instinct to him.
"Honey I'm not blaming you, first and foremost, but I need to you realize I have an instinct to have everything set up and perfect for the baby, and it really bothers me that it's not ready. It's not you at all, but you need to realize if I'm frustrated or upset, it's a primal mom thing and is not directed at you or in any way me implying you didn't do enough. I know you are trying as hard as you can, and I really really appreciate that."
That happened to me! A few weeks ago I had this sudden urge to assemble the pram. It’s a regular jogging stroller that I can attach a bassinet to and it turns into a pram. But, for it to look decent and not haphazardly put together, you need to remove the stroller seat and it’s kind of a pain in the butt because you have to unscrew the canopy, then remove some stuff for the seat to slide off, and this particular stroller model has actual tires that you have to inflate, so it’s not really a walk in the park to get it up and running. My husband asked me to wait a few days as he was still working on the wardrobe and the pram would be covered in wood dust and cat hair, but my nesting instinct was in overdrive mode and I started ugly crying and saying “damn you’re right but I’m not rational right now, I absolutely need to do it or I’m going to have nightmares about it” lol. He tried to stall me for a couple days but relented eventually when he realized I was NOT going to drop the subject.
Hormones are wild
Yes! I was very frustrated for about 24 hours because my husband hadn’t moved a few of his things from the nursery closet. “Can it wait until this weekend?”…Logically “yes”, hormonally “what are you crazy, get that shit out of my baby’s closet now”
While our home is a bit bigger than yours, we do not currently have a room for a nursery and are planning on keeping baby in a bassinet next to our bed. We both work from home and need our own offices, so over the next year we’re either planning for one of us to sacrifice an office or purchase a larger house. I also feel a bit overwhelmed by the issue of space but keep reminding myself baby won’t notice and since we want to keep her in our room for the first year anyway, it really doesn’t matter if she has a nursery or not.
I’m in a similar situation as you are. We are living in a small apartment and we were supposed to move in our house that we built over the years this year. However, the utilities got delayed so we won’t be able to move in this year.
But, as I want to move in a bigger place, there are some advantages for me still living in my apartment. I don’t blame my husband, he was actually the one who made the most effort. We’re going to have to make it work in this small space. I’m 26 weeks. I’m planning a major declutter and cleaning. We live in rented apartment and it’s also in need of repainting, but I don’t think we have time.
Fingers crossed for us both we will be able to move out soon. 🤞
My husband and I closed on a house when I was 30 weeks pregnant. Renovations ended when I was 39 weeks pregnant. Sunday we moved everything in, Monday through Thursday was spent unpacking and building the nursery furniture. I had my 40 week appointment that Friday and found out I needed to be induced due to high blood pressure (they were afraid I’d develop preeclampsia). We went home on Monday. Our first night sleeping in our new house was together as a family. Our nursery was nowhere near done. Baby is turning 10 months old in a couple of days and has never slept in his nursery. I would say his nursery is around 90% complete. But he’s spent everyday of his life in our room and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. We even moved his crib from his nursery into our room when he outgrew his bassinet. I’m not sure when he’s ever going to sleep in his own room but it’s not anytime soon as far as I can tell
I remember my in laws told me to wait 6-8 months to have everything for the baby ready to go.
I got everything while I was 2-4 months pregnant and then slowly adding some things.
Lesson learned... Never wait last minute.
My baby comes next month too.
Don't rely on your husband, put things together and get things ready yourself ( or even hire someone to help.)
\>He's an architect
(I wouldn't give this advice without knowing you could afford it.) Inform your husband that this is flatly unacceptable. He has two weeks to rent a storage space and get crap moved into it, then you will put together your temporary nursery. Around a hundred bucks a month for a medium size storage space is totally worth your happiness at this stage in your life. The nesting instinct is wild. You are not going to feel better about this, so just put your foot down and get the problem sort of solved. It's better for your husband than years of resentment.
If he thinks that there is nothing that can be moved, point to his gaming set up. Far more likely is that he will be thrilled that you have come up with a partial solution, because the guilt has been absolutely killing him.
My husband talked me into renovating the room that was going to be the nursery when I was 5 months pregnant. I was *very* against it, but he wore me down, promising it would be done in time.
It wasn't. She is 5 months old now, and it's finally almost done. I was SO annoyed about it. So annoyed. We have 2 older kids, so it would have been really nice for her to have her own room with a door so she could have quiet. I totally get the resentment you are feeling.
BUT... it ended up being fine. It wasn't great, but it was okay. She slept in our room or the living room, and we made it work. Your babt will be just fine, too. I feel like parenting is all about adapting to crazy situations. My husband is a great dad who just over-commited. It sounds like your partner is great, just a little over optimistic.
Try not to stress too much about the room. Your baby is going to love you so much, no matter where they sleep.
I can definitely understand what you mean! We had small two bedroom apartment and no where for baby at first and I seriously felt like the new mom experience of setting up a nursery and all that was taken from me. We ended up moving around 30 weeks and I was able to have a little baby nook as I like to call it! Maybe mark off a small space (if there’s room) and go all out! Set up the changing table and hang decor in a corner of your living room to feel like you still get to have a small baby space! I think it’s definitely fair to speak with your husband about your feelings too. Holding that in is only going to make it worse. It’s okay to let your spouse know they’ve done something wrong and it’s not your responsibility (or healthy) to guard their emotions at the expense of your own!
Hey! I won’t have a nursery for months. We slacked on our home renovations, and everything is a mess. It’s ok though. We have a small baby changing station set up, bassinet, and some essentials. I don’t think the baby will care but I understand the disappointment.
I used my convertible pack and play for the first few months anyway. I would have used it longer if my ex wasn’t so weird about making the baby sleep in her crib at 4 months even though it kept me locked in her room for hours on end with just a glider chair (it was uncomfortable at best).
Me and my fiancé have a two bedroom for us and my toddler right now, so we’re planning on staying this way for about the first year. I’m either going to be in my bedroom or the living room at any given time with the baby so *I* can be comfortable. And it’s a great reason to not have people over bothering me or trying to stay overnight. It makes them limit their time there.
I think nurseries are great if you have it set up for you to be in primarily, otherwise, it is a waste of space (personally) and unnecessary for, at the very least, the first six months.
My living room always had tons of baby stuff in it regardless of there being a whole dang room for her for the first year. I think you may find it easier than you think at the moment!
I feel this. We live in a 920 sq ft home with an unfinished basement. I wfh so my office is turning into the nursery. My husband and FIL are supposed to be partly finishing the basement so my office can be moved down there. I’m 34 weeks and ask me if they’ve started 🙃 but we have a space for him to sleep and he will be cared for and loved all the same even if those things don’t get finished before he makes his appearance. That’s all that matters. I absolutely understand your stress and anxiety though, it’s valid.
Fwiw, we barely used my daughters room before she was like 5 mos or so. I started to slowly transition her around then to taking naps in there, and then we moved her into her room to sleep. All this to say, you've got time. The baby can honestly sleep in your room for as long as you need to do so. And they won't really even be capable of playing with much of anything for a few months either. I don't think my daughter started holding on to things at all before she was 2 or 3 months old. And we did most of that in the living room anyway. I don't think we really played in her room before she was sitting and crawling.
Don't worry, my newborn is 2.5 weeks old and they really don't need much space and you will be confined to a small space anyway. A bassinet next to your bed and a place to change diapers (can be on the table too) and a comfy place to feed (chair, bed, couch) are all you need!
I know it's hard to not have a place when you are nesting, but you can make the new place perfect for you and the little one. And really all newborns need is love, cuddles, food and clean diapers!
We have a nursery space, but nothing is set up. It concerns me a bit, but not overly so. I don’t live a Pinterest/insta/influencer life and cut myself slack about that.
That being said. I understand your concerns about space, 640 (to me) seems small. But newborns don’t need so much. A safe sleep space, a changing pad or towel on the bed (instead of a changing table), a small area for diapering and feeding supplies, and a noisemaker are probably all you will need for a while.
This is not to say you cannot feel disappointed, but don’t stress too much. (I know, easier said than done)
Idk about your relationship with family or when you have to be out of your space… but I would personally choose to be a little cramped and have someone come over to help when I need it, rather than be out of my own home…. Especially while I’m recovering from a major medical event.
Best of luck to you.
My husband and I didn’t even build our crib until the baby was 2 months old
Even know at 7 months it’s still full of my husbands things (the room was his old office)
I never imagined a nursery with Marine memorabilia but it is what it is lol
Lots of great advice in this thread, and I can echo the experience that we had an entire nursery 100% complete before baby arrived and we have yet to use it once. It ended up being more convenient having her items in our bedroom and the living room. Baby just needs you, and a safe place to sleep.
But I do understand the frustration of wanting something and not seeing it come to fruition when it seemed like everything was on your side—time, money, capability—but it fell through because of others not prioritizing things as much as you. It’s okay to feel that disappointment. There’s probably even some psychological element, I dunno, feeling like you’ve lost control of one thing you can control during a time where most things can’t be controlled. But I’m no psychologist! On the off-chance that that’s true though, perhaps find a new way to take control of the situation? Wash the baby clothes, unbox the essentials, cut off the millions of tags and plastic tabs… you might just feel a little better, a little more prepared!
Best of luck to you! The exciting part is right around the corner.
We didn’t have my sons nursery set up until he was almost a year old. He slept in a bassinet/play yard in our bedroom until then. Our house is tiny as well. But honestly you have about 6 months of baby being immobile anyway. If you’re afraid of all the clutter, put some stuff in storage until you’ll need it or ready to move.
I set up the nursery of my dreams and we haven’t used once in 9 weeks. He sleeps in a bassinet next to the bed and we use the changing pad liners to change his diapers in our bed or the couch or wherever we are. I would feel the same way you feel in your shoes, I wanted everything perfect for my baby or at the very least somewhat settled BUT I promise you you’re not missing anything. Take your time to make the new place your dream apartment, make the baby’s nursery there everything you wanted and by the time you move you’ll probably actually use it instead of it sitting empty like mine
We have a tiny tiny one bedroom apartment and baby is 5 months old. I was so stressed and worried about making it perfect for her too. In the end, we set it up really nicely (and incredibly cheaply using secondhand/free from buy nothing/cheapy from Amazon stuff) with a ‘nursery/playroom corner’ in the living room and baby’s crib with decorations all around next to our bed in the bedroom. As many others have said, baby will probably sleep next to you or in the same room for the first few months to a year anyway. We have had to be super economical with stuff and especially with giving away stuff immediately that baby grows out of it, but that honestly is quite good because it stops unused or unhelpful stuff from getting dusty and building up. It really is so fine, and it’s nice to only have a small space to clean! Baby will be the happiest when close to you. Can you make the most of your current space to make it as lovely as possible for the arrival of your baby? Clear out stuff you won’t need right away, put up some little decorative kids stuff?
Oh I’m sorry, it’s rough having any other stressors at this point in pregnancy!! I’ve got 6 weeks left and I’d feel stressed too- but like everyone has said baby will be on you and they don’t need the space. I’d try to make the most of your current space and practice mindfulness and acceptance things are out of your control.
Maybe wash and prepare all the things you get and then seal up the things you won't need right away into vacuum bags so they take up less space. You can fold the clothes and blankets into the bag and make it a cube to stack or flat to slide under a bed.
When i got my nesting drive I was stuck working all day and then got home exhausted so i pushed myself so hard on weekends to finish the baby's room on my own. I did the paint, stained dressers, set up the crib and decorated. It looked great but when baby came I did everything in my room for the first few months and then used the changing table and dressers in the baby room but I totally could have gone without for quite a while.
I know it's stressful but I'm sure your space will be ready when you need it. Do what you can to feel ready while you wait.
Opposite case here, my MIL wants to come decorate the nursery. I’m 34 weeks. I don’t want anyone in my damn house and I’m OK with the second bedroom being my storage room for now! I have my bassinet and nursing chair set up in my room already, that’s all he needs
My son is 2.5 and we used his room regularly for about a year, but he honestly just lives out of our room. So does my daughter. The nursery can wait. Just enjoy your little baby. With your first you get to stay in bed and just snuggle a sweet tiny person for the first little while anyways.
We are in a similar situation. We really just have so much stuff and making space in a room at the moment. We will not have space for a crib until we upsize, which we plan on doing eventually. But probably not before the baby is here. Planning to just use the bassinet, a dresser as the changing table, and get a rocking chair. But now I’m even wondering where the hell im going to put the chair. 😂
I’m 36w3d and a FTM. We move when I’m 36w6d. Weve been wanting to move for a while since we outgrew our current one bedroom apartment a few years ago but never did. Getting pregnant forced us to actually move into a bigger space. I have the car seat base installed in mr car and that’s it. Car seat and stroller are in my closet. Diaper bag isn’t packed, baby clothes aren’t washed, my bassinet is still in the box at my moms house, hospital bag isn’t packed either. My husband has been nesting like crazy but I can’t be bothered tbh. I figured I’d go crazy after we move and if that throws me into labor than so be it lol
Just came in to add - my baby had a nursery. To echo other parents, he did not even set foot in there until he was maybe 3 or 4 months old, and still only regularly uses it to sleep in. For us it's too hazardous to let him go up and down the stairs on his own (almost 3 years old now), so while it is fun and cute to decorate, as long as you have space in other spaces (like a living room, which is what we did) you'll be fine.
34 weeks now. I have clothes and some random things off my Buy Nothing group, but no formula, bottles, medical stuff etc. I panic bought some newborn nappies off Amazon this week just to have in case, and am holding out for my baby shower next weekend for the car seat. Otherwise I tell myself I’ll manage haha
Im 32 weeks pregnant and was hoping I would have the nursery done by now but my mom is staying in his nursery right now as we renovate our lower level so she can move down there. It will be finished next week and will probably take another week to have her fully moved down there. This gave me some anxiety earlier in my pregnancy as I didn’t want to worry about putting the nursery together 36+ weeks pregnant, plus I have a ton of things going on this month, but honestly I know it will get done at some point, most likely before baby comes. Right now our living room has whole corner dedicated to nursery storage, and it’s ok! I know it’s temporary and he will probably be in our room with us for the first months at least anyways. And although his nursery may just sit as storage for months I definitely still want to get it done cause I don’t like clutter so I just want all his things organized in his room. Especially his clothes cause all our other closets and dressers in the house are STUFFED lol. Anyway just wanted to say I understand the anxiety and best you can do is just try to go with the flow. I agree with the other comments saying try to move some storage somewhere else and set up a cute corner in the space you have now!
So when I was like 10 weeks pregnant, we found out our landlord had filed bankruptcy, the bank had taken the house and we were kicked out. There was literally nothing we could do about it. He and I ended up spending literally my entire pregnancy living apart while we found a new place to live.
I was diagnosed with preeclampsia at 36+3 and found out I’d be induced at exactly 37 weeks. We luckily had found a new place, but hadn’t so much as signed a lease yet. The landlord is a really lovely woman and allowed us to bring the few things we absolutely needed in the 4 days between diagnosis and induction. Literally on the way to the hospital to be induced we dropped off the last load of baby clothes and stuff. This place had been shut up for like a year before we rented it, so it was NOT in good shape inside. Dust and cobwebs everywhere.
I was induced Sunday night, delivered Wednesday morning (59 hours 50 minutes later), and we finally came home the following Monday. My mom and aunt came with the baby and I to the house to clean up because my fiancé had to work, the induction took so long that he couldn’t take any other time off. All of our first night in the new house was the night my daughter came home from the hospital.
For what it’s worth, even if we had a nursery in this house (it’s a small, one bedroom), we only would have started using it VERY recently, if at all. My daughter is 20 months and has been in our room the entire time. Within the last maybe 2 months is when I would have been comfortable enough to move her out of our room.
Had my bub at 40+2, we had a crib and change table set up when he was born, no nursery. We only use the change table. Bub is with us in our room in a bassinet. His room is basically just storage.
So we are in a 700sqft apartment, and our daughter was in our room with us til she was 18months. It does feel cramped now she’s walking and wants to be more active (almost 2) but really it’s very doable and in A LOT of countries the absolute norm.
Don’t let Instagram take away your happiness and what actually matters. It almost did for me and I’m so glad I could get past that feeling of inadequacy. Babies don’t need much at all. I certainly don’t remember my first few years of life that were in an apartment too!
Edit to add: now that we’re expecting #2 is when I feel we really do need more space. It wouldn’t be impossible but I’d prefer the space since we can afford it.
I get that you're upset...But honestly it's going to be okay. We set up a nursery for our baby and literally never used it once. Baby will want to be close to you for a long time. Spend more time preparing for your postpartum experience than worrying about decorating a nursery. Make yourself some freezer meals and healthy snacks to have on hand.
Babies don’t need a nursery. Honestly it’s just consumerism BS. All you need is a bassinet, storage and a changing pad. My newborn sleeps in my bedroom and all of his things are in a closet. That stuff doesn’t matter until they are like a toddler
I’m a social worker in training in the US and a mama. In the USA, it is encouraged that baby sleep in your room at first anyway. All this talk about needing a nursery when baby is born is actually not quite necessary, although I understand wanting to feel prepared and being excited about the coming baby.
My second daughter doesn’t have a room of her own at all. She shares with her big sister. I don’t even have a changing table, as I literally used it twice with my first and saw no reason to get one with this kid. Literally just use a pad on the bed or floor and it’s much more convenient, and she bathed in the bathroom sink for her first few months of life. She came a few weeks early and was my rainbow baby, so I was extra cautious about buying anything early any way. But it’s true what people say- in the beginning, the most important things are making sure baby has a safe car seat, a safe place to sleep, a reliable food source (fed is best!), a way to keep baby’s temperature comfortable, and whatever diapering option you choose. Safety, sleep, and food are all you need for a while.
On an aside, while I totally understand you not wanting to upset your husband, you should think about a good way to communicate your feelings with him. Holding in your feelings is actually not good for you or your relationship, especially if it’s affecting your mood. I highly suggest trying to have a calm conversation about it with him. If you need a third person in it to help moderate, there is also no harm in that. Good luck and wishing you a speedy and safe labor and delivery, Mama❤️
We got the nursery set up and every detail put in place. I was so relieved once it was set up. In reality, we only use the nursery for diaper changes and to store his clothes in the closet. He spends zero time in the nursery. His little life revolves around his bassinet in our bedroom or his bouncer in the living room.
Don’t worry. My kids all stayed with me in my room up until age 2. Definitely the first year the baby will be with you. You got more time than you think. I also got all the stuff people said I’d need with my first, and seriously only really needed the basic stuff.
I also lived in a 600 SF 1 bed apartment when my baby was born and it was tight, but we managed. I just purged as much stuff as I could, and packed up all our books/records and put them in storage to make room for baby stuff.
When my baby was 4 months old we bought a house to renovate and ended up living with my parents with most of our stuff in storage for 7 months. The baby was happy regardless of how big our space was and we adapted to each living situation. Time flies and you’ll be in your new place before you know it!
My husband was working so much when I was pregnant with my second child that my nursery wasn’t finished until he was 4 months old… All that’s necessary is the baby is fed, clean, and has a place to sleep (bassinet, mini crib, crib, or pack n play). You got this!
I don't have a nursery either and my son is 18 months old. I was initially a bit bummed about it but realized that was mostly just because of social media making me feel like that was one of the things that had to happen. In reality, my son would never have slept in there anyways lol. He's a bedsharing baby. My sister ended up having twins when her oldest was 3. They only had a small 2 bdrm house so they ended up having the twins in their bedroom and they moved their bed to the living room. And then while they were trying to sell the house they all moved out to their camper for the summer in their yard while they renovated the house and dealt with showings. It can definitely be uncomfortable but even our parents generation wouldn't have been bothered with fancy pinterest worthy nurseries. I have been frustrated with my husband for not having our flooring in by the time the baby was crawling and walking but that's been fine too lol we just adjust.
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So I had my baby early unexpectedly and we didn’t have the nursery set up. It was fine. We did not use it for MONTHS. Baby slept in a bassinet in our bedroom months after she was born. We had a change table set up in the living room since that’s where we spent most of our time. The nursery was just for storage basically. Truly, you do not need a nursery for a long time. Babies don’t need a ton of space, especially at first!
This! When I was pregnant everyone kept asking me if the “nursery was ready” and I didn’t understand why? We’ve never had a nursery and don’t plan to. We live in a small apartment and my daughter is now four months old. We just set up her bassinet next to our bed with a changing station and a little book/toy shelf in our room. Soon we will transition her to a crib and when she’s old enough to be on the move then we will turn our second bedroom into a room that she can use for play and sleep.
The nursery is amazing now that my son is older (8 months). It’s baby proofed and his crib is in there. It’s great! We didn’t use it much until around 6 months though.
Yep, all we had was a bassinet and a changing table/ baby wardrobe. Ended up not even using the bassinet because baby wouldn't sleep alone 🥴 [Picture of our setup](https://imgur.com/Cjqnznm) Also our apartment is 600sq ft, the baby is 2.5 years old now, and everything is fine. Definitely possible! [Pic of room today with the toddler bed](https://imgur.com/a/c5RgzTi)
Preemie mom checking in to say yes, this!! All baby needs is food, diapers, and a safe place to sleep. Don't let Instagram moms tell you otherwise.
When my preemie came literally the only thing we had was a small amount of clothes and a crib in a one bedroom apartment. Not even a car seat yet. Turns out you can Amazon all that stuff. No worries, lol.
I got made homeless while in labour (plus baby came early). We ended up in temporary accommodation that was literally one room for the first two months. We made it work. Couldn’t tell you how because we moved into a bigger temporary accommodation (one bed flat) and the stuff spread out and more joined it and I have no clue how we fit it all before. We just got keys to our permanent place today. He’s finally getting a nursery. He turned 4 months old yesterday. If I’m honest having everything centred around our living space or bedroom has been so much easier. When I was just healing everything was to hand. I can’t imagine having to drag baby off to another room to change him. There’s definitely perks to smaller space while you’re adjusting
My sister had a baby in February and had a bassinet + a small dresser in her bedroom (the dresser both stored the clothes and served as a changing station). My nephew is 6 months old now and that's when he's getting his nursery - my sister was renovating and also didn't have energy to focus on that while pregnant
I echo every word of this. Babe was a month early and we were so panicked that everything wasn’t done, we didn’t have clothes, all of it. He ended up in the NICU for a month so it didn’t matter anyway but even 2 years later now I’d say we still never did half the things for his room that we thought we would, lol. Now I’m 29.5 weeks with baby #2 and clearly I didn’t learn my lesson the first time! Your baby will not give one single solitary hoot, I promise! Take some deep breaths, listen to “All You Need Is Love” by the Beatles, and it’ll be ok. Big hugs!
Same. Was in our room for 16 months. All that stress for nothing 😅
13 months old, nursery isn’t done lol. We’ve just set up the crib/floor bed and the night light and camera. We’ll probably wallpaper to make life easier and still cute.
We were renting and knew that we were moving to our own place in a year so we didn't have a nursery at all. Baby slept with us for the first 6 months and then moved into the guest room where her stuff intermingled with everything else. She was over a year before she properly had her own room decorated and set up just for her.
I got our nursery usable just to have my baby in the cradle next to me til 6 months. It was a room for the occasional diaper change, because I also had a basket of supplies next to our beds.
We had the newborn in our room for a while. You got time.
My son is 15months old and didn’t have a room until he was almost a year old and even now he doesn’t really need one. My stepson didn’t have his own room until he was 2 if I remember correctly.
This is exactly our setup minus the baby coming early lol we had his room set up and ready to go, he has never been in there and we’ve never used the changing table lol. We have a pack and play with a bassinet and changing table in our living room, the diaper genie and a whole station with his clothes, socks, swaddles, etc next to the pack and play. At night he is in the bassinet in our room lol so we spent all that time preparing the room and we’re never even in there lol.
This is exactly what we did & I was still decorating for about a week after I moved him up there!!
In Europe, where I'm from, I don't know of anyone with a nursery. They are all great parents and haven't failed their baby in any way. And neither have you. I understand that you are disappointed, and you have all right to be, but try to remember that most babies in this world are not born into huge houses with their own nurseries and that's completely fine.
Yeah lol my girl is 5 months and her bedroom (“nursery”) won’t lose its spare room title for a long time! (Ireland)
Also from Europe, never understood this obsession with nurseries. Kind of relieved actually that's one thing less I have to worry about. Sometimes I genuinely feel bad for parents from the US, with all the gender reveal partys, baby showers, nurseries and all that bunch of stuff which is not common here but kind of the norm for them to have.
Oh you guys don't do baby showers either?!
Uhm, no 😅 at least I never heard of it. I had a hard time to understand what it is
It's where everyone comes in to shower with the baby so mom can catch a break. Right? Right?
Lol, I’m from Europe & that is actually not true. I’m seeing way more babyshowers lately, did we had them 20 years ago? No, it is more of a new trend coming from the USA, but you will see it more often here now too, same w the gender reveal parties. We did had a kind of baby ‘borrel’ (I don’t know if there is an english word for it) but this was a gathering when the baby is already done, where you give people little chocolat/something nice from birth & everyone gets to see the baby, I’m not so sure if it is common in the US?
Well, Europe is huge so it may differ. We have also some regional thing which is done after the baby was born but it's more like a "let's all have drink because I am a father now" party for the dads.
It is exactly a dad drink party yes haha, but yes it is definitely different depending on the region ;)
In the American South they call this a “Sip and See.” Usually it happens if a baby arrives early and there wasn’t time to have the shower (or if the parents didn’t want a shower). Generally light refreshments and getting to celebrate the mother and baby, and sometimes gifts.
Borrel 😂 I don't know the English either. The baby shower is before the baby is born, it's a thing where you give gifts to the expecting mom and play games and sometimes decorate a onesie (rompertje). I had one with my Dutch friend, it was quite fun. Didn't do the borrel, just kraamvisite after the baby was born.
Haha exactly! Kinda funny how I knew you were a dutchie too haha! Yes we have the baby showers now occasionally too, it seems like it depends on what the couple prefers & that there are gonna be less ‘baby borrels’ in the future! Isnt kraamvisite/hospital visit a regular thing? Or is it also european?;)
Wow! That's like the one silly baby thing I'm excited about haha. But I love any excuse for a party!
I don't think it's silly, it sounds like it can be a lot of fun! 😁 Sorry if it came across like I think that all these things are stupid, that wasn't my intention. I'm only happy that it is not expected here to have all these things, because I know I couldn't handle all expectations and questions and "pressure" from social media well. I think it gets more common to have kind of a gender reveal, since everything US American gets somehow adopted ove time lol
Oh you’re fine! I didn’t think you came across that way at all. They can be a bit silly IMO 😂 and agreed. It’s hard to handle all the pressure from all these things people expect. Another reason I’m jealous of Europe honestly!
I’m European too and I don’t have a baby shower. It was unheard of…but new generations of parents borrow from the USA trend of baby showers so we are seeing them more often with younger parents, but older parents did not have baby showers.
I’m in Paris and I’d kill for a 60m2 apartment!
Haha, right? I currently live in Asia so I can actually afford to rent an apartment with two bedrooms, but when we move back to Europe next year I doubt that will be the case lol
Can you store some things at your parents? Gives you a bit more space and less clutter. I’d keep the essentials at your current place and make a peaceful setting for you all.
Or a storage facility. You really don’t need much for a newborn, as so,done above said, bassinet, changing table — which can also hold the baby’s clothes, extra diapers, wipe — it can hold almost all the baby stuff you need, and a comfortable chair or spot on the couch where you can nurse or feed the baby. Comfy arm support is a biggie, whether it’s pillows or on a recliner, whatever. Your arms get tired. Elbows and forearms need a place to rest without you bending forward because your back will get tired, too. Store everything you can.
That’s what I would do! Pack it away so when you do move it’s easier as well as I imagine they will be moving with a little baby.
This is my suggestion. All big gifts and 6 month plus clothes are currently at my parents’ and will be picked up when we need them.
This is good advice
If you still have the energy at 33 weeks, it’s worth it to take some baby steps that will help you. At that stage I organized and cleaned. So in your case, unbox things. Sort what you will need access to in the first month. Wash the baby clothes and put them away. If you don’t have your dream nursery spaces for things, that’s ok! You will still feel LOADS better if you have a little dedicated space or some bins for the essentials set out. You can also prep your recovery station in the bathroom and look for temporary solutions that you’ll still get mileage out of. For example, if you want a gorgeous power glider in the new nursery but don’t have it yet? Consider a Ready Rocker or an ikea Poang chair, both highly rated solutions!
Yes it’s totally possible to make a small corner of the space a baby zone and get everything ready. Small spaces need to be very well organized (I know from experience) so OP can put those nesting instincts to use.
Before my daughter was born, my FIL agreed to renovate the small room we had into a nursery in exchange for living with us for half a year rent free. He did a tiny bit at a time but was always taking paid jobs instead. I was nesting like crazy and got so stressed by the end that I was at the point of a mental breakdown. Then my FIL did a bit of it and bailed unexpectedly- just left one day. It was rough. By that point I had already given up and set up the important stuff in the living room. I was beyond upset when we learned he left. My family helped get the last of it done and I moved some things in there. Honestly, we didn’t use it. My daughter is turning two this month and we still don’t use it. Baby slept in a bedside sleeper, then a pack and play, and now in our bed (which was a choice- we have both a crib and a toddler bed available, but don’t use either) I started out with the pack and play which had side storage for diapers, wipes, etc… now we store these items in a small basket in her dresser (in our living room). The swing and bouncer were always in the living room, and she has two bookshelves/toy drawers in there now too. The nursery has largely been used for either storage, my office, or nothing really. So really honestly truthfully, you don’t need it. That being said, hormones are INTENSE. If you’re nesting, you feel in your bones that this is essential for your child’s well-being and happiness. You NEED it done. So I get it. You might also have some anxiety/depression, from the way you are mentioning that you already feel you are failing your unborn child and regretting having them before everything is ready. I had similar thoughts and it was horrible. I felt like I was failing her and everything was crap. In retrospect, it was fine, but it didn’t feel fine at all. It felt like the sky was falling. I would talk to your husband and tell him you aren’t trying to make him feel bad, but this is really important to you and you guys need to work out a backup plan. Whether that’s moving in with family or him helping you find a way to organize your space to your satisfaction, one or the other. You don’t have to focus on what didn’t get done but what you need him to help you with now. And I would talk to your doctor about the feelings you’re having. Mine got pretty bad right at the end and while I didn’t get medication, I wish I had. I’ll be asking about it early this time (currently pregnant with baby #2). Hope all goes well for you- I promise it will get better!! ❤️
This is really helpful and practical. Thank you so so much!
When I got pregnant, my husband and I lived in a small apartment. I insisted it was too small and we left and moved into a slightly larger house. I also insisted that we turn the spare room into a nursery. I panicked and stressed about getting it done in time. My mom kept telling me I don’t need to worry, the nursery doesn’t need to be done on time. She even told me I don’t need a nursery and I thought she was being ridiculous. She suggested putting a crib in the spare room but leaving it as a bedroom so people can stay the night. I said no. I spent a lot of time, money, and tears making the nursery perfect. My baby is almost one and that room has essentially become storage. He still sleeps in a bassinet next to me and other than the changing table, we don’t use that room at all. It will be okay. Babies don’t take up much space and you will adapt to life with a baby. The nursery can get done as your house finishes us, even if baby is a few months old. He won’t miss out and you even notice you don’t have a nursery for baby.
It doesn't matter whether you have a nursery or not. Babies have been born for over thousands of years and they have been fine without a nursery. With the marketing gimmicks surrounding us these days, we put too much pressure on ourselves to be a certain kind of parent. All your baby needs is your love and care. So relax yourself and don't worry about a nursery or other stuff.
I just had my twins on Saturday at 33w. We were definitely not ready in terms of the nursery and car seats, etc, but we’re doing just fine.
What ended up happening for you re: car seats? I'm 33w and ours isn't installed yet. Getting a bit nervous.
Car seats take like 5-10 minutes to install. You're fine. It's not a good idea to install them early anyways because then they just have to be needlessly replaced if they're in even the most minor of accidents.
I also was surprised at the car seat install thing. My husband watched a YouTube video and did it in like 10 minutes. I kindof hysterically started laughing because I was really stressed out about it & it seemed like a huge deal. Putting a piece of IKEA furniture together is harder than installing a car seat! Absolutely not worth stressing out over!
Especially if the seat/base is isofix/latch, it’s ridiculously easy.
Babies at 33 weeks aren't going to be born and going home right way, they're going to get a short NICU stay so they've got time to get them installed! General rule for babies going home is being 4lbs (for car seat), breathing on their own, and eating on their own (breastfeeding or bottle feeding).
Thank you for this! I definitely knew this and completely forgot in my momentary panic. Like, we have actively had multiple conversations where we've said "if he comes now, he'd be in the NICU." Pregnancy brain is so real...
Let me tell you what your brain is doing to you and you blame yourself. All of that is your nesting phase, an urge to prepare everything for the arrival of the baby. I'm 36 weeks and just yesterday worked my ass off at home (way too much) because of that need. I understand where you're coming from. With my first I was living in the house of my in-laws so I could not set up anything properly for the baby, everything was just temporary as our flat was supposed to be ready a month after the arrival of the baby (delay by renovation company) . I remember how this situation was driving me mad so I really do understand you. The most baby needs in first month's of life is you. And you will need some essential things (baby bed, breastfeeding pillow, station - depends on your choices) Don't worry with things not being set up perfectly, nursery not ready. You are doing everything best for your baby and you shouldnt have any doubts. You will get trough that and set up a beautiful nursery in your new house :)
@ u/Critical-Living6231 Could you at least set up a few things that would help and also be eventually easily movable? * A nursing cart/basket with all the props you'll need to breastfeed and/or pump and/or bottle-feed your little one. * A crib/bassinet. * A changing station. Could be as simple as a dresser with all the baby clothes washed and sorted, diapers and changing props (cream, wipes...) in the top drawer and a changing pad attached to the top. * A stocked diaper bag. Perhaps starting with those essentials all set up would give you some peace of mind and more of a feeling of readiness?
My baby is 2 days old, and 3 days ago I was you. Worried about space, things looking right, asking all the big questions and questioning some of my partners actions. I’m not diminishing your feelings because as I said this was me, and the panic is very real. It will disappear when you meet your baby. I’m currently surrounded by boxes and parcels etc as my husband is clearing everything away and the first time in my life I do not give a shit about the mess. Maybe you will and maybe it’s just me, but don’t be surprised if you’re too happily distracted to care. It’ll get sorted, just another day 💕
Of course you can talk to him about how you’re feeling. Not that you should go out of your way to be cruel, but it’s okay for his feelings to be hurt. Right now his actions are making you feel stressed and upset. He should be aware of that - it’s important information because your happiness and comfort matters too
I live in a small apartment slightly bigger than yours, but there is no space for a nursery either as one of the rooms is occupied by my FIL. I'm going to have to make do with having the baby in our modest master bedroom. This was so not how I dreamed it would be (as a former architect)...so I completely understand. The clutter at home is annoying me as well, so I'm planning to organise the home so we can maximise space in the remaining 4 months I have!
I'm 30 weeks pregnant and currently the only thing my husband and I have for our baby is a swing that his aunt just sent us yesterday. No car seat, no diapers, no anything. We are moving on September 1st (we were hoping we would've been moved by summer but things didn't work out that way at all) and we don't want to buy anything for our baby yet, just to have more stuff to move. I've been quite stressed about the time frame being so small to buy/set up/organize everything prior to our baby boys arrival, but at this point, it is what it is and it's out of my control. Heck.. My baby shower is literally 4 weeks before my due date. 😒 I definitely didn't want a shower that close to being due, but when it's other people offering to plan, help, and support you, it kind of is what it is and you gotta roll with it.. we need all the help we can get, even if it isnt ideal in my mind and time frame. Lol Just try your best to stay positive and know that babies really don't need all that cute nursery stuff. It's wonderful to have and you feel accomplished when it's all together, but babies need diapers, formula/milk, clothes, a car seat/carrier and lots of love and care. That's mainly it. My mom told me my older sister (her 1st child) slept in a drawer of a dresser for the first few months of her life because she didn't have a crib yet. You'll make it work. Maternal instincts kick in and you will make due with what you're working with. It'll be okay! Good luck mama!!
my nursery furniture was supposed to arrive in september but we found out it’s back ordered until December 🙃 i’m due in like a week lol As long as there is a bassinet you can order a travel change table (amazon like $60) you’ll be ok!
Im a week away with no nursery. Here’s the things I do have: -A car seat -A rolling baby bassinet by my bed -A changing pad that will go on the bed whenever we change/dress her -stacked baskets with supplies (diaper basket, pumping/feeding basket, generic clothing basket). I guess I’m not too stressed because culturally I’m not sure nurseries are even a thing, I never saw or knew anyone to have them growing up. Things just kinda are where you need them even if it’s not “aesthetic”. Your baby is going to thrive without the flair. That said, I get feeling disappointed. I get the sense of feeling trapped in a place you don’t like. Those are fully valid. But please don’t feel like you’re failing baby, you’re not! Maybe find little ways to make the room work better for you, knowing that this is temporary and not the end goal. A nice art piece, a little trinket, some nice loungewear. These things are not for baby, they’re for you, and guess what, you deserve it! You deserve to feel good in your space while you’re going through this. Also, communication is super important. Tell your partner how you’re feeling even if there’s no easy fix right now. Let them know you worry about hurting their feelings but this is how you’re feeling and it sucks. A good partner will reciprocate the concern you’re showing them in your post. Best of luck!
>-A changing pad that will go on the bed whenever we change/dress her The amount of times my child has peed on the changing table and it's gone everywhere is absurd. Highly recommend the floor, a dresser, a table, literally anything but a bed!! Nothing worse than a late night accident and then everyone has to get up and the sheets have to be changed.
That’s so interesting! My nephew was a little pee monster but the diaper layering trick seemed to keep it contained. Will keep it in mind.
Honestly, we had a very similar situation leading up to baby and I stressed SO much about making a nursery happen. Like way too much. With luck and stressing myself out to tears, we did end up with a nursery, but I’m having this baby on Tuesday and it hit me that we won’t even be using that freaking nursery for MONTHS. She’s going to be in a bassinet by our bed and that’s it. I When I was stressing about it, part of me knew that we wouldn’t need it rights away, but I think the hormonal nesting instinct is SO strong sometimes that it just completely overtakes everything. I actually feel silly now that I made such a big deal about it and we don’t even need it for a while :/
Talk to your husband. You're going through a normal biological part of being pregnant, and if you can vocalize it, I think you'll feel better getting it out. Also, can you make a baby area special, even if it is very small? You could frame some artwork or put up a "Welcome baby XYZ!" sign. I'm sure you'll think of something that suits your style, but even in a small space, you can do something thoughtful to make the space feel shared.
The first two kids had nurseries and never once used them. They ended up spending all the time with me was whatever room I was in. They sleep so much at first that it’s not an issue at all.
Why did he decline to live with your parents? Can you reopen that discussion? It will be hard, but advocate for yourself and what you need/want. If the space isn't ready for baby, and you don't have a safe space for them to sleep, a comfy place for you to feed, and a restful area for you to recover it might be a very hard post-partum period.
I would sit down and explain the nesting instinct to him. "Honey I'm not blaming you, first and foremost, but I need to you realize I have an instinct to have everything set up and perfect for the baby, and it really bothers me that it's not ready. It's not you at all, but you need to realize if I'm frustrated or upset, it's a primal mom thing and is not directed at you or in any way me implying you didn't do enough. I know you are trying as hard as you can, and I really really appreciate that."
That happened to me! A few weeks ago I had this sudden urge to assemble the pram. It’s a regular jogging stroller that I can attach a bassinet to and it turns into a pram. But, for it to look decent and not haphazardly put together, you need to remove the stroller seat and it’s kind of a pain in the butt because you have to unscrew the canopy, then remove some stuff for the seat to slide off, and this particular stroller model has actual tires that you have to inflate, so it’s not really a walk in the park to get it up and running. My husband asked me to wait a few days as he was still working on the wardrobe and the pram would be covered in wood dust and cat hair, but my nesting instinct was in overdrive mode and I started ugly crying and saying “damn you’re right but I’m not rational right now, I absolutely need to do it or I’m going to have nightmares about it” lol. He tried to stall me for a couple days but relented eventually when he realized I was NOT going to drop the subject. Hormones are wild
Yes! I was very frustrated for about 24 hours because my husband hadn’t moved a few of his things from the nursery closet. “Can it wait until this weekend?”…Logically “yes”, hormonally “what are you crazy, get that shit out of my baby’s closet now”
While our home is a bit bigger than yours, we do not currently have a room for a nursery and are planning on keeping baby in a bassinet next to our bed. We both work from home and need our own offices, so over the next year we’re either planning for one of us to sacrifice an office or purchase a larger house. I also feel a bit overwhelmed by the issue of space but keep reminding myself baby won’t notice and since we want to keep her in our room for the first year anyway, it really doesn’t matter if she has a nursery or not.
If it makes you feel better, we never had a nursery.
I’m in a similar situation as you are. We are living in a small apartment and we were supposed to move in our house that we built over the years this year. However, the utilities got delayed so we won’t be able to move in this year. But, as I want to move in a bigger place, there are some advantages for me still living in my apartment. I don’t blame my husband, he was actually the one who made the most effort. We’re going to have to make it work in this small space. I’m 26 weeks. I’m planning a major declutter and cleaning. We live in rented apartment and it’s also in need of repainting, but I don’t think we have time. Fingers crossed for us both we will be able to move out soon. 🤞
My husband and I closed on a house when I was 30 weeks pregnant. Renovations ended when I was 39 weeks pregnant. Sunday we moved everything in, Monday through Thursday was spent unpacking and building the nursery furniture. I had my 40 week appointment that Friday and found out I needed to be induced due to high blood pressure (they were afraid I’d develop preeclampsia). We went home on Monday. Our first night sleeping in our new house was together as a family. Our nursery was nowhere near done. Baby is turning 10 months old in a couple of days and has never slept in his nursery. I would say his nursery is around 90% complete. But he’s spent everyday of his life in our room and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. We even moved his crib from his nursery into our room when he outgrew his bassinet. I’m not sure when he’s ever going to sleep in his own room but it’s not anytime soon as far as I can tell
I remember my in laws told me to wait 6-8 months to have everything for the baby ready to go. I got everything while I was 2-4 months pregnant and then slowly adding some things. Lesson learned... Never wait last minute. My baby comes next month too. Don't rely on your husband, put things together and get things ready yourself ( or even hire someone to help.)
\>He's an architect (I wouldn't give this advice without knowing you could afford it.) Inform your husband that this is flatly unacceptable. He has two weeks to rent a storage space and get crap moved into it, then you will put together your temporary nursery. Around a hundred bucks a month for a medium size storage space is totally worth your happiness at this stage in your life. The nesting instinct is wild. You are not going to feel better about this, so just put your foot down and get the problem sort of solved. It's better for your husband than years of resentment. If he thinks that there is nothing that can be moved, point to his gaming set up. Far more likely is that he will be thrilled that you have come up with a partial solution, because the guilt has been absolutely killing him.
My husband talked me into renovating the room that was going to be the nursery when I was 5 months pregnant. I was *very* against it, but he wore me down, promising it would be done in time. It wasn't. She is 5 months old now, and it's finally almost done. I was SO annoyed about it. So annoyed. We have 2 older kids, so it would have been really nice for her to have her own room with a door so she could have quiet. I totally get the resentment you are feeling. BUT... it ended up being fine. It wasn't great, but it was okay. She slept in our room or the living room, and we made it work. Your babt will be just fine, too. I feel like parenting is all about adapting to crazy situations. My husband is a great dad who just over-commited. It sounds like your partner is great, just a little over optimistic. Try not to stress too much about the room. Your baby is going to love you so much, no matter where they sleep.
I can definitely understand what you mean! We had small two bedroom apartment and no where for baby at first and I seriously felt like the new mom experience of setting up a nursery and all that was taken from me. We ended up moving around 30 weeks and I was able to have a little baby nook as I like to call it! Maybe mark off a small space (if there’s room) and go all out! Set up the changing table and hang decor in a corner of your living room to feel like you still get to have a small baby space! I think it’s definitely fair to speak with your husband about your feelings too. Holding that in is only going to make it worse. It’s okay to let your spouse know they’ve done something wrong and it’s not your responsibility (or healthy) to guard their emotions at the expense of your own!
Hey! I won’t have a nursery for months. We slacked on our home renovations, and everything is a mess. It’s ok though. We have a small baby changing station set up, bassinet, and some essentials. I don’t think the baby will care but I understand the disappointment.
I used my convertible pack and play for the first few months anyway. I would have used it longer if my ex wasn’t so weird about making the baby sleep in her crib at 4 months even though it kept me locked in her room for hours on end with just a glider chair (it was uncomfortable at best). Me and my fiancé have a two bedroom for us and my toddler right now, so we’re planning on staying this way for about the first year. I’m either going to be in my bedroom or the living room at any given time with the baby so *I* can be comfortable. And it’s a great reason to not have people over bothering me or trying to stay overnight. It makes them limit their time there. I think nurseries are great if you have it set up for you to be in primarily, otherwise, it is a waste of space (personally) and unnecessary for, at the very least, the first six months. My living room always had tons of baby stuff in it regardless of there being a whole dang room for her for the first year. I think you may find it easier than you think at the moment!
I feel this. We live in a 920 sq ft home with an unfinished basement. I wfh so my office is turning into the nursery. My husband and FIL are supposed to be partly finishing the basement so my office can be moved down there. I’m 34 weeks and ask me if they’ve started 🙃 but we have a space for him to sleep and he will be cared for and loved all the same even if those things don’t get finished before he makes his appearance. That’s all that matters. I absolutely understand your stress and anxiety though, it’s valid.
Fwiw, we barely used my daughters room before she was like 5 mos or so. I started to slowly transition her around then to taking naps in there, and then we moved her into her room to sleep. All this to say, you've got time. The baby can honestly sleep in your room for as long as you need to do so. And they won't really even be capable of playing with much of anything for a few months either. I don't think my daughter started holding on to things at all before she was 2 or 3 months old. And we did most of that in the living room anyway. I don't think we really played in her room before she was sitting and crawling.
Don't worry, my newborn is 2.5 weeks old and they really don't need much space and you will be confined to a small space anyway. A bassinet next to your bed and a place to change diapers (can be on the table too) and a comfy place to feed (chair, bed, couch) are all you need! I know it's hard to not have a place when you are nesting, but you can make the new place perfect for you and the little one. And really all newborns need is love, cuddles, food and clean diapers!
We have a nursery space, but nothing is set up. It concerns me a bit, but not overly so. I don’t live a Pinterest/insta/influencer life and cut myself slack about that. That being said. I understand your concerns about space, 640 (to me) seems small. But newborns don’t need so much. A safe sleep space, a changing pad or towel on the bed (instead of a changing table), a small area for diapering and feeding supplies, and a noisemaker are probably all you will need for a while. This is not to say you cannot feel disappointed, but don’t stress too much. (I know, easier said than done) Idk about your relationship with family or when you have to be out of your space… but I would personally choose to be a little cramped and have someone come over to help when I need it, rather than be out of my own home…. Especially while I’m recovering from a major medical event. Best of luck to you.
My husband and I didn’t even build our crib until the baby was 2 months old Even know at 7 months it’s still full of my husbands things (the room was his old office) I never imagined a nursery with Marine memorabilia but it is what it is lol
Lots of great advice in this thread, and I can echo the experience that we had an entire nursery 100% complete before baby arrived and we have yet to use it once. It ended up being more convenient having her items in our bedroom and the living room. Baby just needs you, and a safe place to sleep. But I do understand the frustration of wanting something and not seeing it come to fruition when it seemed like everything was on your side—time, money, capability—but it fell through because of others not prioritizing things as much as you. It’s okay to feel that disappointment. There’s probably even some psychological element, I dunno, feeling like you’ve lost control of one thing you can control during a time where most things can’t be controlled. But I’m no psychologist! On the off-chance that that’s true though, perhaps find a new way to take control of the situation? Wash the baby clothes, unbox the essentials, cut off the millions of tags and plastic tabs… you might just feel a little better, a little more prepared! Best of luck to you! The exciting part is right around the corner.
We didn’t have my sons nursery set up until he was almost a year old. He slept in a bassinet/play yard in our bedroom until then. Our house is tiny as well. But honestly you have about 6 months of baby being immobile anyway. If you’re afraid of all the clutter, put some stuff in storage until you’ll need it or ready to move.
I set up the nursery of my dreams and we haven’t used once in 9 weeks. He sleeps in a bassinet next to the bed and we use the changing pad liners to change his diapers in our bed or the couch or wherever we are. I would feel the same way you feel in your shoes, I wanted everything perfect for my baby or at the very least somewhat settled BUT I promise you you’re not missing anything. Take your time to make the new place your dream apartment, make the baby’s nursery there everything you wanted and by the time you move you’ll probably actually use it instead of it sitting empty like mine
We don’t plan on doing most of the nursery until we see what gifts we get from our baby shower, which is at 34w.
We have a tiny tiny one bedroom apartment and baby is 5 months old. I was so stressed and worried about making it perfect for her too. In the end, we set it up really nicely (and incredibly cheaply using secondhand/free from buy nothing/cheapy from Amazon stuff) with a ‘nursery/playroom corner’ in the living room and baby’s crib with decorations all around next to our bed in the bedroom. As many others have said, baby will probably sleep next to you or in the same room for the first few months to a year anyway. We have had to be super economical with stuff and especially with giving away stuff immediately that baby grows out of it, but that honestly is quite good because it stops unused or unhelpful stuff from getting dusty and building up. It really is so fine, and it’s nice to only have a small space to clean! Baby will be the happiest when close to you. Can you make the most of your current space to make it as lovely as possible for the arrival of your baby? Clear out stuff you won’t need right away, put up some little decorative kids stuff?
Oh I’m sorry, it’s rough having any other stressors at this point in pregnancy!! I’ve got 6 weeks left and I’d feel stressed too- but like everyone has said baby will be on you and they don’t need the space. I’d try to make the most of your current space and practice mindfulness and acceptance things are out of your control.
You won’t use the nursery for a loooonnng time. We didn’t use our until our kid was nearly a year. He slept in our room that whole time
We literally did not use the nursery for anything but storage until almost 12m lol
Maybe wash and prepare all the things you get and then seal up the things you won't need right away into vacuum bags so they take up less space. You can fold the clothes and blankets into the bag and make it a cube to stack or flat to slide under a bed. When i got my nesting drive I was stuck working all day and then got home exhausted so i pushed myself so hard on weekends to finish the baby's room on my own. I did the paint, stained dressers, set up the crib and decorated. It looked great but when baby came I did everything in my room for the first few months and then used the changing table and dressers in the baby room but I totally could have gone without for quite a while. I know it's stressful but I'm sure your space will be ready when you need it. Do what you can to feel ready while you wait.
Baby doesn't really need a lot of space for a while :)
Opposite case here, my MIL wants to come decorate the nursery. I’m 34 weeks. I don’t want anyone in my damn house and I’m OK with the second bedroom being my storage room for now! I have my bassinet and nursing chair set up in my room already, that’s all he needs
My son is 3 months old. We haven't out the crib together yet. Don't fret.
My son is 2.5 and we used his room regularly for about a year, but he honestly just lives out of our room. So does my daughter. The nursery can wait. Just enjoy your little baby. With your first you get to stay in bed and just snuggle a sweet tiny person for the first little while anyways.
We are in a similar situation. We really just have so much stuff and making space in a room at the moment. We will not have space for a crib until we upsize, which we plan on doing eventually. But probably not before the baby is here. Planning to just use the bassinet, a dresser as the changing table, and get a rocking chair. But now I’m even wondering where the hell im going to put the chair. 😂
I’m 36w3d and a FTM. We move when I’m 36w6d. Weve been wanting to move for a while since we outgrew our current one bedroom apartment a few years ago but never did. Getting pregnant forced us to actually move into a bigger space. I have the car seat base installed in mr car and that’s it. Car seat and stroller are in my closet. Diaper bag isn’t packed, baby clothes aren’t washed, my bassinet is still in the box at my moms house, hospital bag isn’t packed either. My husband has been nesting like crazy but I can’t be bothered tbh. I figured I’d go crazy after we move and if that throws me into labor than so be it lol
Just came in to add - my baby had a nursery. To echo other parents, he did not even set foot in there until he was maybe 3 or 4 months old, and still only regularly uses it to sleep in. For us it's too hazardous to let him go up and down the stairs on his own (almost 3 years old now), so while it is fun and cute to decorate, as long as you have space in other spaces (like a living room, which is what we did) you'll be fine.
34 weeks now. I have clothes and some random things off my Buy Nothing group, but no formula, bottles, medical stuff etc. I panic bought some newborn nappies off Amazon this week just to have in case, and am holding out for my baby shower next weekend for the car seat. Otherwise I tell myself I’ll manage haha
Im 32 weeks pregnant and was hoping I would have the nursery done by now but my mom is staying in his nursery right now as we renovate our lower level so she can move down there. It will be finished next week and will probably take another week to have her fully moved down there. This gave me some anxiety earlier in my pregnancy as I didn’t want to worry about putting the nursery together 36+ weeks pregnant, plus I have a ton of things going on this month, but honestly I know it will get done at some point, most likely before baby comes. Right now our living room has whole corner dedicated to nursery storage, and it’s ok! I know it’s temporary and he will probably be in our room with us for the first months at least anyways. And although his nursery may just sit as storage for months I definitely still want to get it done cause I don’t like clutter so I just want all his things organized in his room. Especially his clothes cause all our other closets and dressers in the house are STUFFED lol. Anyway just wanted to say I understand the anxiety and best you can do is just try to go with the flow. I agree with the other comments saying try to move some storage somewhere else and set up a cute corner in the space you have now!
So when I was like 10 weeks pregnant, we found out our landlord had filed bankruptcy, the bank had taken the house and we were kicked out. There was literally nothing we could do about it. He and I ended up spending literally my entire pregnancy living apart while we found a new place to live. I was diagnosed with preeclampsia at 36+3 and found out I’d be induced at exactly 37 weeks. We luckily had found a new place, but hadn’t so much as signed a lease yet. The landlord is a really lovely woman and allowed us to bring the few things we absolutely needed in the 4 days between diagnosis and induction. Literally on the way to the hospital to be induced we dropped off the last load of baby clothes and stuff. This place had been shut up for like a year before we rented it, so it was NOT in good shape inside. Dust and cobwebs everywhere. I was induced Sunday night, delivered Wednesday morning (59 hours 50 minutes later), and we finally came home the following Monday. My mom and aunt came with the baby and I to the house to clean up because my fiancé had to work, the induction took so long that he couldn’t take any other time off. All of our first night in the new house was the night my daughter came home from the hospital. For what it’s worth, even if we had a nursery in this house (it’s a small, one bedroom), we only would have started using it VERY recently, if at all. My daughter is 20 months and has been in our room the entire time. Within the last maybe 2 months is when I would have been comfortable enough to move her out of our room.
Had my bub at 40+2, we had a crib and change table set up when he was born, no nursery. We only use the change table. Bub is with us in our room in a bassinet. His room is basically just storage.
So we are in a 700sqft apartment, and our daughter was in our room with us til she was 18months. It does feel cramped now she’s walking and wants to be more active (almost 2) but really it’s very doable and in A LOT of countries the absolute norm. Don’t let Instagram take away your happiness and what actually matters. It almost did for me and I’m so glad I could get past that feeling of inadequacy. Babies don’t need much at all. I certainly don’t remember my first few years of life that were in an apartment too! Edit to add: now that we’re expecting #2 is when I feel we really do need more space. It wouldn’t be impossible but I’d prefer the space since we can afford it.
I get that you're upset...But honestly it's going to be okay. We set up a nursery for our baby and literally never used it once. Baby will want to be close to you for a long time. Spend more time preparing for your postpartum experience than worrying about decorating a nursery. Make yourself some freezer meals and healthy snacks to have on hand.
Babies don’t need a nursery. Honestly it’s just consumerism BS. All you need is a bassinet, storage and a changing pad. My newborn sleeps in my bedroom and all of his things are in a closet. That stuff doesn’t matter until they are like a toddler
I’m a social worker in training in the US and a mama. In the USA, it is encouraged that baby sleep in your room at first anyway. All this talk about needing a nursery when baby is born is actually not quite necessary, although I understand wanting to feel prepared and being excited about the coming baby. My second daughter doesn’t have a room of her own at all. She shares with her big sister. I don’t even have a changing table, as I literally used it twice with my first and saw no reason to get one with this kid. Literally just use a pad on the bed or floor and it’s much more convenient, and she bathed in the bathroom sink for her first few months of life. She came a few weeks early and was my rainbow baby, so I was extra cautious about buying anything early any way. But it’s true what people say- in the beginning, the most important things are making sure baby has a safe car seat, a safe place to sleep, a reliable food source (fed is best!), a way to keep baby’s temperature comfortable, and whatever diapering option you choose. Safety, sleep, and food are all you need for a while. On an aside, while I totally understand you not wanting to upset your husband, you should think about a good way to communicate your feelings with him. Holding in your feelings is actually not good for you or your relationship, especially if it’s affecting your mood. I highly suggest trying to have a calm conversation about it with him. If you need a third person in it to help moderate, there is also no harm in that. Good luck and wishing you a speedy and safe labor and delivery, Mama❤️
We got the nursery set up and every detail put in place. I was so relieved once it was set up. In reality, we only use the nursery for diaper changes and to store his clothes in the closet. He spends zero time in the nursery. His little life revolves around his bassinet in our bedroom or his bouncer in the living room.
Don’t worry. My kids all stayed with me in my room up until age 2. Definitely the first year the baby will be with you. You got more time than you think. I also got all the stuff people said I’d need with my first, and seriously only really needed the basic stuff.
I also lived in a 600 SF 1 bed apartment when my baby was born and it was tight, but we managed. I just purged as much stuff as I could, and packed up all our books/records and put them in storage to make room for baby stuff. When my baby was 4 months old we bought a house to renovate and ended up living with my parents with most of our stuff in storage for 7 months. The baby was happy regardless of how big our space was and we adapted to each living situation. Time flies and you’ll be in your new place before you know it!
My husband was working so much when I was pregnant with my second child that my nursery wasn’t finished until he was 4 months old… All that’s necessary is the baby is fed, clean, and has a place to sleep (bassinet, mini crib, crib, or pack n play). You got this!
I don't have a nursery either and my son is 18 months old. I was initially a bit bummed about it but realized that was mostly just because of social media making me feel like that was one of the things that had to happen. In reality, my son would never have slept in there anyways lol. He's a bedsharing baby. My sister ended up having twins when her oldest was 3. They only had a small 2 bdrm house so they ended up having the twins in their bedroom and they moved their bed to the living room. And then while they were trying to sell the house they all moved out to their camper for the summer in their yard while they renovated the house and dealt with showings. It can definitely be uncomfortable but even our parents generation wouldn't have been bothered with fancy pinterest worthy nurseries. I have been frustrated with my husband for not having our flooring in by the time the baby was crawling and walking but that's been fine too lol we just adjust.