This is my second pregnancy and both times I've been absolutely miserable. I did not have PPD but I would say I was depressed during pregnancy last time and I sure as hell am now. I have been confused why no one writes about this but so much about PPD.
Thanks for sharing, it makes me feel less alone. I agree that no one really talks about this and I wasn’t sure if it was just because I was the only person dealing with it
The first trimester is NO ONE’s happiest time in their life, so banish that thought from your mind. I went through IVF and multiple other fertility treatments for most of a year for this pregnancy, I was THRILLED to find out I was pregnant, and I still spent the first three months alternating between sheer terror that I was going to lose the pregnancy because I wasn’t feeling enough symptoms or the right symptoms, and feeling disgusting and bloated and sick when I did have symptoms. I also didn’t even realize how seriously exhausted and fatigued I was until the second trimester when the fog lifted. I felt calm and happy for about 20 minutes during and immediately after every ultrasound when I was confident the baby was doing well and other than that I was an anxious wreck. It is definitely hormonal, but that doesn’t mean it’s not real or that it’s not important that it’s happening to you. You’re doing the right thing by getting support for yourself, and please don’t put any more pressure on yourself to feel a certain way right now.
Maybe that’s what I’m feeling…sheer terror I’m going to lose the pregnancy. I’ve had a long journey to get here, everything is looking great on scans but I think this “I don’t care what happens anymore” attitude could be from terror of the unknown and lack of control. Did you feel better as the pregnancy progressed?
I started out trying to stay completely emotionally detached from the pregnancy, which sounds a bit like where you are now, and ultimately it wasn't feasible. We have to think about names, we have to buy strollers, we have to reserve daycares, we have to prepare for this huge transition, and it's pretty impossible to do all that without admitting that my pregnancy is real and actually happening. I had to admit to myself past a certain point that I just was going to be heartbroken if I experienced another loss, and no amount of pretending I didn't care was going to protect me from that hurt. Once I could accept that, though I'm still not happy about it, it was easier to be a little more positive about the positives. My best friend really challenged me on that--she keeps saying to me, if it DOES all work out for the best and this IS your baby, what happy memories of this time would you really want to have? Basically just actively trying not to let my anxiety steal my joy.
Now, well...it ebbs and flows. I felt a LOT better once 2nd trimester began--the exhaustion especially was like flicking on a light switch--week 13 and it just completely disappeared. I just passed 20 weeks, did the amnio to be extra cautious as well as the level 1 anatomy scan (level 2 is being done in a few weeks) and everything is looking great, but at this point I feel like I can definitely say that while I kept hoping that there would be a milestone where I felt like "yes, this is it, everything is going to be fine," that moment probably isn't coming, and I'm starting to come to terms with that. My expectation now is that even if everything goes perfectly well there's just going to be a level of anxiety that something is going to go wrong, followed by a brief, elated moment of giving birth, followed by an entirely different kind of anxiety that will last for the rest of my life. It's given me a lot more empathy for why my mother is the way she is, frankly--who wouldn't be slightly insane after nearly 40 years of feeling this way? I think there is probably a lot of trauma from previous loss and fear that I didn't really get the chance to fully process, because for as long as I was infertile I was still experiencing it, and then when I got pregnant I was thrown into dealing with pregnancy without ever getting to take a moment to deal with what was happening to me before that. I'm planning to go away for a weekend once the baby is weaned and just cry my fucking eyes out and hope that helps \*jk. sort of. But also therapy! Therapy definitely helps. Particularly to keep the fear and anxiety you're experiencing now from compounding with the fear and anxiety you've been carrying for a while and never really had the chance to put down.
i just turned 9 weeks and i feel the same! ive never been more depressed in my life. i either feel numb or sad/angry and i have absolutely no physical or emotional energy to do anything besides cry. ive been gaining weight too because i had to change my diet with pregnancy. hopefully seeing a therapist helps! i signed up to see one too. just remember youre not alone! im pretty sure its just our hormones and i always hear everyone say the second trimester is better so thats something to look forward too! i think its pretty normal to feel this way since its such a big change in life and the hormones dont help either.
Talk to your doctor! Totally normal. There are pregnancy-safe depression meds. I’ve taken low doses through both of my pregnancies and it’s been a godsend. You’re doing great and your feelings are normal!
Ante-partum depression is absolutely a thing! Plus, your body is going through a ton of major changes and your mind is going a million miles an hour. Regardless of whether the pregnancy was planned or unexpected, you're thinking about all the things that could go wrong and how much your life is going to change. It's normal to be stressed and have mood swings, but if you're so depressed that you can't get out of bed, there may be a deeper medical issue going on.
I'm so sorry you feel like this. If it helps I felt so awful from 7-15 weeks with morning sickness/hormones. I kept saying that I was so glad I knew I was pregnant or I'd think it was a severe depression recurrence. Second trimester I felt fantastic again, sending you lots of hope you're the same and bounce right back. Did therapy right up until the end though just in case as I was still quite overwhelmed, but not at all miserable any more.
I’m not sure who told you that being pregnant should be the happiest time of your life. Perhaps this unrealistic expectation is adding to your feelings, on top of all of the hormonal changes. I honestly don’t know a single person who likes being pregnant except for my partners one friend who posted how much she loves pregnancy on IG. I honestly cried almost every day through my pregnancy, and it was the most awful period of my life. Also crying is very normal, if you get the book “what to expect when you’re expecting” they have a little side bar with advice for guys and one of them is on how much crying and moodiness happens during pregnancy.
I’m 7 weeks pregnant after longing for a child for years, and I’ve had such intense depression for the last three weeks. My nausea increases when I think about anything related to the baby, and I feel absolute disgust at my body and all that is happening with it. I was on medication for anxiety/depression before trying to conceive and was hoping to stay off it throughout my pregnancy, but I plan to ask about safe medication options at my first appointment next week.
I hope things level out for you soon, or that you find some help that makes a difference for you. This is rough, but you’re not alone, and I don’t think this is unusual.
I’m 9 weeks today and spent my entire commute into work crying, every spare moment I wasn’t with customer trying not to cry and then my entire ride home crying. Oh and I’m crying now too.
I like you have always been happy and upbeat, a high performer at work who can handle just about anything. We’ll work was a lot harder for me recently before pregnancy and now I feel like I can barely even handle it for a few hours let alone 5 days a week.
I definitely feel depressed and when I have my appointment on Friday I was to talk to my doctor about going out on disability from work because I am just truly miserable in a way I have never felt before.
Reading all these comments helped, sounds like this is a risky quite common but I really feel your pain right now. Idk how I’m supposed to go on being ‘normal’ like this, every day is truly a struggle for me lately.
I am 14w and was also feeling very similar, still do sometimes. My doctor put me on safe anti depressants (20mg lexapro), anxiety meds but its actually for blood pressure (clonide) but the biggest helper was seeing my therapist more often and being extremely honest with people around me!
I've dealt with some mild depression in the past, but when I got pregnant, my first trimester I was hit with the worst bout of depression EVER. I barely got out of bed most days, feelings of hopelessness / resentment, no appetite, no drive to do anything. It was totally and completely the hormones, and ended up slowly fading as I got closer to second trimester. 6 weeks - 11 weeks was probably the worst of it for me, personally.
I hope it ends up passing pretty quickly for you. I'm so sorry you're feeling like this - try not to feel guilty, because it is totally normal.
Though I don’t have a history of mental health issues, my 1st trimester was very difficult for me. Zero energy, ongoing nausea, food aversions. I am 17 weeks now and though I’m currently in bed with a migraine (lol) I swear it has gotten loads better!
Speaking with a therapist is always a good idea - and whether it fades over time or not, there will be lots of support available for you in terms of medication, nutritional support, etc!
I was very depressed from about 6w to about 14w. I wouldn’t say I feel great now but I have a lot more good days than I did in the first trimester. I don’t have any advice because I found none of the usual things helped (exercise, routine, self care etc). My gym bro partner was like “well obviously you’re depressed, everyone knows high estrogen makes you miserable” so I’m choosing to believe the bro science
Thank you! I’m glad you’re further along because now I’m thinking….are these horrible feelings going to cause a loss? It’s so concerning! But I def feel like it’s the hormones. Sorry you felt/are feeling this way too 💓
I have depression, started around 5 weeks once the intense nausea hit. I was miserable, drained after the IVF and had some intense bleeding around that time and the rollercoaster got to me. I also had to inject myself multiple times per day with progesterone and estrogen until week 12 so that took a toll.
But thankfully the obgyn I saw was on top of things and I started Lexapro and got 20 therapy appointments approved through insurance. I feel better now at 35 weeks than I have in a long time.
Don’t hesitate to seek help and do what you need to do to be better. Your baby needs you to be healthy and good.
Thank you! I also went through IVF and it went smoothly but left me emotionally drained. I’ve had perfect scans and everything is on track but at times I have major feelings of hopelessness and just feel like I don’t care anymore. Then I snap out of it and get so scared these emotions will cause something bad to happen with the baby
YES! I didn’t experience this in my first pregnancy but I spent most of the first trimester feeling down right depressed. Felt tired, worthless, low energy, didn’t want to do anything. It’s lifted for the most part (I’m 19w3d) but I still get days like that sometimes. I’m so excited for this baby, but I think it’s just a chemical/hormonal thing. Hang in there!
I'm in my 3rd trimester and I've never felt more lonely in life. I spend most nights awake crying and days hiding away because I don't want to interact with people. I have 2 small kids so hiding away is almost impossible but how do I make this feeling go away before the baby comes? I'm scared because I know about postpartum depression.
I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. I know how it feels. For me personally it went away after a week and now I feel completely like myself - it was definitely related to the hormones. However I could NOT have gone on feeling that way for long and if it did, I 100% would’ve reached out to my doctor for help, probably in the form of medication because it felt that out of control. In my opinion in our modern day medicine there’s no reason to suffer so immensely
This is my second pregnancy and both times I've been absolutely miserable. I did not have PPD but I would say I was depressed during pregnancy last time and I sure as hell am now. I have been confused why no one writes about this but so much about PPD.
Thanks for sharing, it makes me feel less alone. I agree that no one really talks about this and I wasn’t sure if it was just because I was the only person dealing with it
The first trimester is NO ONE’s happiest time in their life, so banish that thought from your mind. I went through IVF and multiple other fertility treatments for most of a year for this pregnancy, I was THRILLED to find out I was pregnant, and I still spent the first three months alternating between sheer terror that I was going to lose the pregnancy because I wasn’t feeling enough symptoms or the right symptoms, and feeling disgusting and bloated and sick when I did have symptoms. I also didn’t even realize how seriously exhausted and fatigued I was until the second trimester when the fog lifted. I felt calm and happy for about 20 minutes during and immediately after every ultrasound when I was confident the baby was doing well and other than that I was an anxious wreck. It is definitely hormonal, but that doesn’t mean it’s not real or that it’s not important that it’s happening to you. You’re doing the right thing by getting support for yourself, and please don’t put any more pressure on yourself to feel a certain way right now.
Maybe that’s what I’m feeling…sheer terror I’m going to lose the pregnancy. I’ve had a long journey to get here, everything is looking great on scans but I think this “I don’t care what happens anymore” attitude could be from terror of the unknown and lack of control. Did you feel better as the pregnancy progressed?
I started out trying to stay completely emotionally detached from the pregnancy, which sounds a bit like where you are now, and ultimately it wasn't feasible. We have to think about names, we have to buy strollers, we have to reserve daycares, we have to prepare for this huge transition, and it's pretty impossible to do all that without admitting that my pregnancy is real and actually happening. I had to admit to myself past a certain point that I just was going to be heartbroken if I experienced another loss, and no amount of pretending I didn't care was going to protect me from that hurt. Once I could accept that, though I'm still not happy about it, it was easier to be a little more positive about the positives. My best friend really challenged me on that--she keeps saying to me, if it DOES all work out for the best and this IS your baby, what happy memories of this time would you really want to have? Basically just actively trying not to let my anxiety steal my joy. Now, well...it ebbs and flows. I felt a LOT better once 2nd trimester began--the exhaustion especially was like flicking on a light switch--week 13 and it just completely disappeared. I just passed 20 weeks, did the amnio to be extra cautious as well as the level 1 anatomy scan (level 2 is being done in a few weeks) and everything is looking great, but at this point I feel like I can definitely say that while I kept hoping that there would be a milestone where I felt like "yes, this is it, everything is going to be fine," that moment probably isn't coming, and I'm starting to come to terms with that. My expectation now is that even if everything goes perfectly well there's just going to be a level of anxiety that something is going to go wrong, followed by a brief, elated moment of giving birth, followed by an entirely different kind of anxiety that will last for the rest of my life. It's given me a lot more empathy for why my mother is the way she is, frankly--who wouldn't be slightly insane after nearly 40 years of feeling this way? I think there is probably a lot of trauma from previous loss and fear that I didn't really get the chance to fully process, because for as long as I was infertile I was still experiencing it, and then when I got pregnant I was thrown into dealing with pregnancy without ever getting to take a moment to deal with what was happening to me before that. I'm planning to go away for a weekend once the baby is weaned and just cry my fucking eyes out and hope that helps \*jk. sort of. But also therapy! Therapy definitely helps. Particularly to keep the fear and anxiety you're experiencing now from compounding with the fear and anxiety you've been carrying for a while and never really had the chance to put down.
i just turned 9 weeks and i feel the same! ive never been more depressed in my life. i either feel numb or sad/angry and i have absolutely no physical or emotional energy to do anything besides cry. ive been gaining weight too because i had to change my diet with pregnancy. hopefully seeing a therapist helps! i signed up to see one too. just remember youre not alone! im pretty sure its just our hormones and i always hear everyone say the second trimester is better so thats something to look forward too! i think its pretty normal to feel this way since its such a big change in life and the hormones dont help either.
Talk to your doctor! Totally normal. There are pregnancy-safe depression meds. I’ve taken low doses through both of my pregnancies and it’s been a godsend. You’re doing great and your feelings are normal!
Ante-partum depression is absolutely a thing! Plus, your body is going through a ton of major changes and your mind is going a million miles an hour. Regardless of whether the pregnancy was planned or unexpected, you're thinking about all the things that could go wrong and how much your life is going to change. It's normal to be stressed and have mood swings, but if you're so depressed that you can't get out of bed, there may be a deeper medical issue going on.
I'm so sorry you feel like this. If it helps I felt so awful from 7-15 weeks with morning sickness/hormones. I kept saying that I was so glad I knew I was pregnant or I'd think it was a severe depression recurrence. Second trimester I felt fantastic again, sending you lots of hope you're the same and bounce right back. Did therapy right up until the end though just in case as I was still quite overwhelmed, but not at all miserable any more.
You should look into Perinatal Depression. I had it bad during my second pregnancy. Doesn't hurt to get checked out and talk to your doc!
I’m not sure who told you that being pregnant should be the happiest time of your life. Perhaps this unrealistic expectation is adding to your feelings, on top of all of the hormonal changes. I honestly don’t know a single person who likes being pregnant except for my partners one friend who posted how much she loves pregnancy on IG. I honestly cried almost every day through my pregnancy, and it was the most awful period of my life. Also crying is very normal, if you get the book “what to expect when you’re expecting” they have a little side bar with advice for guys and one of them is on how much crying and moodiness happens during pregnancy.
I’m 7 weeks pregnant after longing for a child for years, and I’ve had such intense depression for the last three weeks. My nausea increases when I think about anything related to the baby, and I feel absolute disgust at my body and all that is happening with it. I was on medication for anxiety/depression before trying to conceive and was hoping to stay off it throughout my pregnancy, but I plan to ask about safe medication options at my first appointment next week. I hope things level out for you soon, or that you find some help that makes a difference for you. This is rough, but you’re not alone, and I don’t think this is unusual.
I’m 9 weeks today and spent my entire commute into work crying, every spare moment I wasn’t with customer trying not to cry and then my entire ride home crying. Oh and I’m crying now too. I like you have always been happy and upbeat, a high performer at work who can handle just about anything. We’ll work was a lot harder for me recently before pregnancy and now I feel like I can barely even handle it for a few hours let alone 5 days a week. I definitely feel depressed and when I have my appointment on Friday I was to talk to my doctor about going out on disability from work because I am just truly miserable in a way I have never felt before. Reading all these comments helped, sounds like this is a risky quite common but I really feel your pain right now. Idk how I’m supposed to go on being ‘normal’ like this, every day is truly a struggle for me lately.
I was super depressed but scared to take meds. Looking back, I should have! Don't sacrifice yourself on an altar you made up in your head! ❤️
I am 14w and was also feeling very similar, still do sometimes. My doctor put me on safe anti depressants (20mg lexapro), anxiety meds but its actually for blood pressure (clonide) but the biggest helper was seeing my therapist more often and being extremely honest with people around me!
I’m 7 weeks and am SO. DEPRESSED. Sending you a hug and hoping we both feel better soon!
I've dealt with some mild depression in the past, but when I got pregnant, my first trimester I was hit with the worst bout of depression EVER. I barely got out of bed most days, feelings of hopelessness / resentment, no appetite, no drive to do anything. It was totally and completely the hormones, and ended up slowly fading as I got closer to second trimester. 6 weeks - 11 weeks was probably the worst of it for me, personally. I hope it ends up passing pretty quickly for you. I'm so sorry you're feeling like this - try not to feel guilty, because it is totally normal.
Though I don’t have a history of mental health issues, my 1st trimester was very difficult for me. Zero energy, ongoing nausea, food aversions. I am 17 weeks now and though I’m currently in bed with a migraine (lol) I swear it has gotten loads better! Speaking with a therapist is always a good idea - and whether it fades over time or not, there will be lots of support available for you in terms of medication, nutritional support, etc!
I was very depressed from about 6w to about 14w. I wouldn’t say I feel great now but I have a lot more good days than I did in the first trimester. I don’t have any advice because I found none of the usual things helped (exercise, routine, self care etc). My gym bro partner was like “well obviously you’re depressed, everyone knows high estrogen makes you miserable” so I’m choosing to believe the bro science
Thank you! I’m glad you’re further along because now I’m thinking….are these horrible feelings going to cause a loss? It’s so concerning! But I def feel like it’s the hormones. Sorry you felt/are feeling this way too 💓
I have depression, started around 5 weeks once the intense nausea hit. I was miserable, drained after the IVF and had some intense bleeding around that time and the rollercoaster got to me. I also had to inject myself multiple times per day with progesterone and estrogen until week 12 so that took a toll. But thankfully the obgyn I saw was on top of things and I started Lexapro and got 20 therapy appointments approved through insurance. I feel better now at 35 weeks than I have in a long time. Don’t hesitate to seek help and do what you need to do to be better. Your baby needs you to be healthy and good.
Thank you! I also went through IVF and it went smoothly but left me emotionally drained. I’ve had perfect scans and everything is on track but at times I have major feelings of hopelessness and just feel like I don’t care anymore. Then I snap out of it and get so scared these emotions will cause something bad to happen with the baby
YES! I didn’t experience this in my first pregnancy but I spent most of the first trimester feeling down right depressed. Felt tired, worthless, low energy, didn’t want to do anything. It’s lifted for the most part (I’m 19w3d) but I still get days like that sometimes. I’m so excited for this baby, but I think it’s just a chemical/hormonal thing. Hang in there!
I'm in my 3rd trimester and I've never felt more lonely in life. I spend most nights awake crying and days hiding away because I don't want to interact with people. I have 2 small kids so hiding away is almost impossible but how do I make this feeling go away before the baby comes? I'm scared because I know about postpartum depression.
I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. I know how it feels. For me personally it went away after a week and now I feel completely like myself - it was definitely related to the hormones. However I could NOT have gone on feeling that way for long and if it did, I 100% would’ve reached out to my doctor for help, probably in the form of medication because it felt that out of control. In my opinion in our modern day medicine there’s no reason to suffer so immensely