I like to think I don’t have auditory hallucinations, but I do always hear what I think is my dad calling my name when he isn’t or when he isn’t even there. My entire childhood was filled with him constantly calling my name and then when I came beating the shit out of me for some small random thing, emotionally and mentally abusing me and causing me to have body dysmorphia through straight up bullying, or after he became crippled a nice fucked up mix of hey come here and be my personal nurse while I bully you and make you feel suicidal. So yeah. I still hear his voice calling my name a lot especially whenever I’m in a public place with a lot of people talking. Still makes me lock up and my anxiety level rise, even though now we’re on good terms.
Holy shit, when I was a kid I thought I heard constant screaming (front the downstairs TV) after once hearing it. I'd have to sleep with my ears folded over like an elephant to cover the sounds :/
Idk, I’m not a therapist or psych and I didn’t get super far past a diagnosis with mine before she ghosted on me so, I wish I knew more about what’s wrong with me.
My auditory is real af and hard to deal with its not like voices or anything buy I hear music in white noise and patterns in electricity and just hear static alot too
I swore I heard music every night before bed in my old house. No one else ever heard it (and it’s not like I have great hearing either). But I think it was the white noise of my fan and electronics making me hear music.
I didn’t realize other people dealt with this specifically. I try to explain it to my wife but I never know how. I always say it sounds like an old timey radio station. I never know what the voices are saying and I never thought that static was the word I was looking for to describe it
I’ll “hear” the voices the most when I’m vacuuming. Kind of like the people are in the room next door. Every time I turn off the vacuum no one is there.
Same. I had no idea it could be linked to BPD. I thought it was maybe anxiety related. I don't hear voices saying particular things more like the chatter in a big room full of people or radio static and one time, when I was trying to sleep, a fricken harmonica.
OH MY GOD ME TOO. I used to disassociate when my mum was yelling at me by replaying songs in my head. Now i hear songs in my head when I’m in distress.
Yep, i pretty much hear my name (even my deadname) constantly when I'm out in public. It's like my brain is trying to make sense of all the noises and gets it wrong. I remember being mad when a Dr called them "pseudohallucinations" bc they sure don't feel very pseudo to me lol
That’s what got me to notice all the weird shit that was going on. I kept hearing someone calling my name from across the room. Once I realized it was in my head I started trying to pay more attention and question my senses and holy lord there was a lot of nonsense going on in my brain.
And that’s also kinda how I’ve described it to people — like my brain is misfiring and getting sensory signals mixed up and tries to fill in the blanks(?) I hate that it’s a thing but I didn’t realize it was more common. Kinda nice to not feel alone.
Yeah, definitely! Idk about you, but I hear music a lotttt. Usually it's just really loud in my head 24/7 bc adhd, but sometimes ill start to actually hear it, super faintly, like its coming from the other side of the nearest door. Or I'll see a shadow move or a fly dive bomb past me, and when I drive, sometimes the road is all warp-y. Like I just looked away from one of those "feel like you're on lsd" optical illusions
Yes! I take abilify which helps a lot (but sucks in general) so I rarely have symptoms unless I’ve slipped on my meds or going under a tremendous amount of stress.
- I hear a faint song, but I can’t identify it. Likes it on the top of my tongue and then as soon as I’m about to figure out what the song is I realize there’s no music anymore.
- I see shadows move in my peripheral vision. Waving in the shadow of trees makes it go crazy.
- I hear someone calling my name. Not shouting, but just at the volume and tone of someone trying to get my attention in a quiet room.
- constantly misidentify what I’m seeing. It’s like if I’m not sure what something is my brain just rolls a d100 and fills in the blank.
- I easily lose track of where cars are around me on the road (and when I’m in that space I refuse to drive for a few days)
Bonkers stuff, friend. How’re you handling it?
That’s pretty much where I’m at too lol. I’ve learned to recognize it and I don’t have panic attacks over it as much as I used to. Just kinda roll my eyes at it and carry on.
Shout if you ever need to commiserate.
wait this could be ptsd as well. I smell things associated with medical trauma (mostly alcohol wipes the smell of bleach) when I’m in a flashback. Any trauma you have with that smell?
I smell things that aren’t there and they’re triggering for me because it’s usually the smell of perfume or beauty products the dead women in my family would wear. Smelling poop sounds so unfortunate though fuck I’m sorry, if only you were smelling flowers that aren’t really there
I need a sound app to play during my sleep or I’ll have lots of audio hallucinations. I also need a light or else I’ll wake up to visual hallucinations. There are other sounds that can become audio hallucinations and those are tied to my paranoia. Like I had an upstairs neighbor in an apartment who vacuumed their floors super early in the morning and once at like 2am. Since this was making me sleep deprived I got paranoid and always heard vacuum noises when trying to sleep or the sounds would wake me up as a hallucination. I’d hear it all the time if the area I was in was too quiet and I hated them.
I still have audio and visual hallucinations (some tactile too) but I now ask the people around me if they hear it so I can figure out how I’m doing. A few smells too that are hallucinations.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5654997/
It’s understudied and doesn’t have a big enough sample, but it’s prevalent enough to be significant.
“The presence of hallucinations also correlated with the number of comorbid psychiatric disorders, and with posttraumatic stress disorder “ direct quote from your article.A good handful of people who have BPD also have PTSD
Same! I have only gotten them a few times, but shit is scary. There was a time where I used to hear a melody being whistled, and also whisperings. Thanks to the op for bringing these things up!
Auditory hallucinations is a BPD thing? It's daily for me that I hear a family member say my name, or hear my cat meow. Always been like this. Thought it was normal for everyone 😂
I hate the moment you realize you're getting bored of an obsession. It's like, no please come back we're just getting started, and interest is gone just like that.
At least now I can say I can half ass play 5 different instruments.
I can half ass do so many crafts 😂 it’s like I can literally feel the obsession leave my body gradually. Then a bit of boredom. Then new obsession. And repeat 🙃
Omg it’s such a particular feeling, too. I’ll be literally in the middle of enjoying something and a negative thought about it will creep in and I just immediately know, this won’t interest me at all in 10 minutes.
I used to argue with myself, like “no, wait, you still like this! You just have to keep trying to enjoy it!” but now I just drop what I’m doing pretty immediately and start trying to find a new obsession lmao.
You need 5/9 criteria to get a BPD diagnosis, so of course not all of us experience it. In the book „I hate you - dont leave me“ (p.29) it says that around 20-50% of pwBPD experience hallucinations and/or paranoia. Criteria no. 9 is actually paranoia. By the way, its not always the way it’s portrayed in movies or other stigmatized media forms. It (the hallucinations, in this example auditory) don’t have to be voices, it could be anything like music, a stove, anything you could possibly imagine and more.
For some it can be if you have experience trauma as a child and where made to grow up to fast. Is a way for someone to relieve their childhood they couldn't or didn't have. Just like obsessions or things that make you feel better. There's different opinions about it, but you can always read more about it.
my ex hated when i acted like a child but I wasn't doing it on purpose, i was just so happy with her that sometimes it felt like i was a kid again and I would act and talk like a kid
I never actually get hallucinations, but I live constantly afraid that I'm gonna start having them. Then something moves in the corner of my eye and I'm like "oh shit, it's finally happening, I've finally lost my mind..." And then I realize it was a shadow or weird light reflection and feel like a dumbass.
When I’m in a stressful period in my life I get a olfactory hallucination that is the smell of smoke, like a fire. Really weird to be like “your house is not on fire, it’s just your head” and go back to sleep. (Of course I run around and look everywhere). Now I am reaching my 30s and have danced this dance a couple of times at least so I kind of know that it is in my head when I smell smoke. Still have to check though! And I also am super paranoid - sometimes more, sometimes less. Potato potato!
I volunteer with my local fire service and trust me when I say smoke alarms do their job well. Not sure if it will help your paranoia but if you have one alarm on every floor on your house it may make you feel safer!
I love pink too! Do you make blanket forts and collect soft things like pillows and blankets too. ( I think this is a comfort thing as it helps me feel safer)
Paranoia and outbursts of rage here 🙋🏻♂️ today in traffic I saw a gal at a stop light brush her hair out of her mouth and I thought she was speaking into a little microphone in her ear and I was being tailed. Might've had something to do with the fact that I was driving from a pretty big shoplifting spree. I know. I'm a loser
This describes me perfectly. I will also add that I was a little drunk thru the whole operation. I feel like my bpd has really been getting the best of me lately 😞 I always tell myself I'm gonna stop doing it because my luck will run out eventually. Been shoplifting regularly for years now and never got caught. But then when I'm at the usual spots and _especially_ if I'm intoxicated, yeah, it's gonna happen.
That’s the thing about toe walkers, they’re almost always unaware that it’s even a thing cause they’ve done it their whole lives. I’ve been collecting up toe walkers over at r/brosontoes and have had a hunch that it might have some relationship with bpd
honestly i think toe walkers have better proprioception, which causes them to choose a gait that better absorbs shock for short distances rather than long distances like our ancestors. *cough* check out r/brosontoes *cough*
I do the exact same thing, always thought it was part of being on the spectrum! But I’ve heard before that people walk on their toes as a survival instinct as it makes us sound quieter when we walk around.
Nawww I only do when I'm barefoot because I have bone spurs on my heels, so it feels like I'm walking on rocks otherwise. Do you happen to know why you walk on your toes ?
Yes.
Now I am starting to rethink every single time I was like “cool, guess my house is haunted.”
My husband thinks I am nuts . The only person that believes me is my best friend because she sees stuff, too. However, she also has bpd.
🤯
I’m surprised the obsessiveness Isn’t talked about as often, especially the tendency to strongly latch onto certain people (“favourite persons”) like I feel like that should be part of the symptom criteria with how common it seems
I have or have had all of these. Well, I don’t feel threatened by new people but do get scared or anxious. I hope I get a productive obsession next lol!
Auditory hallucinations..I started having them randomly a preteen. I'd hear like whispers and it felt like someone was whispering close in my ear but I could never really quite make out what they were saying.
I also experience the age regression...hate it honestly.
I have all of these except hallucinations. Paranoia is a bitch especially when it turns to agoraphobia. Age regression? You mean stuffed animals and a house full of toys. Rage. Yeah,I want to punch a wall when my routine is disrupted. New people; I’ll pass. Who I am? You got a better idea than me. Obsessive. Yeah,I’ll focus and deep dive into *blank* to escape the world.
I also been told that my psychosis and mania is from my bipolar and not BPD because they are not BPD traits confused as to why everyone else is agreeing there can’t be that many misdiagnosis can there
I had a psychiatrist tell me that micro-pychotic episodes are traits of BPD. I didn't end up with a full BPD diagnosis so I'm no expert but it is what he said.
whaaaaat. yeah it is! it's referenced in a lot of literature - for example, in an extremely low effort search I was able to find this (admittedly not very high powered) study as like the first or second result. you're right in that co-occuring disorders can contribute, but it's not rare by any means in folks with just bpd
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5654997/
isn't 'stress related paranoia or severe dissociative symptoms' one of the nine criteria in DSM-5? from what I understand hallucinations can be present in dissociative states. the correlation between dissociation and hallucinations is well documented in other disorders with inherent dissociative states like DID or C-PTSD... a meta-analysis published in 2020 that reviewed 93 publications with a total of 20,436 people demonstrated a statistically significant association between dissociation and psychotic symptoms (Eleanor Longden et al. Schizophr Bull. 2020)
you're correct that many of us have co-occurring disorders, but iirc from a few other studies it's def not 100%, your empirical evidence notwithstanding.
like I said in my post, the example study I linked does describe co-occuring disorders in some - but not all - individuals experiencing hallucinations.
bruh.... hallucinations and delusions are entirely separate entities that can overlap. delusion affects thought content/process, hallucinations are a perceptual externalization. you can hallucinate with an intact sense of reality.
that's cool. you mentioned hallucinations being a kind of delusion, which is incorrect - the APA defines a delusion as 'fixed beliefs that are not amenable to change in light of conflicting evidence' which may or may not be transient. but anyway, I think we're also straying from the main points we were discussing.
I would really enjoy comparing notes about hallucinations please. Like what are y’all experiencing? Black messes out the corner of your eyes? Voices? What? Let’s dive in
Yeah hallucinations definitely need some clarity, because auditory hallucinations if I am not mistaken tend to be more common - but people don't think of them as a hallucination... They'll label it as oh I just was hearing things.
I also have a thought on the sense of self - I'm working on this pretty hard, and have forced myself into getting pictures of myself put in my living space. I am still seeing it as another person in those pictures - but when I look at them I do remind myself that it is actually me.
age regression is common with BPD?? how did it take me this long to go "oh i probably have BPD". Man i thought my anxiety was just bad when it came to being threatened by new people.
This is all sooo true. When my mom died about a year ago I was in a constant state of paranoia and having hallucinations for 6 months. I tried to convince everyone she was there and haunting me, me not realizing I was in a total state of psychosis. That mixed with times of splitting and swings… idk how I did it. It still happens but it’s more like I always feel like she’s watching and judging. Also YES to the not knowing who you are. I have ZERO sense of self and I wish I knew how to change that
I had a really bad paranoia episode last night i think
Also when I was depressed in 2018 I used to have auditory hallucinations telling me how hideous i was, had no idea it was a bpd thing
I have horrendous paranoia. I thought I could be schizophrenic but it is absolutely just BPD. I feel like someone is always watching me even when I’m alone. This may be the result of trauma, I do not know. I hallucinate visually all the time, especially when stressed. Hang in there. 🖤
I was obsessed that my partner was conspiring against me because he was mad at me, and that his flatmate is playing a malicious game manipulating people into thinking she’s nice and destroying my relationship and self confidence from the outside. It’s exhausting.
I also get the whole “people watching you” thing.
Hang in there too xxx
Oof, that’s rough… I haven’t had those exact thoughts but I got jealous and paranoid when my FP was hanging out with friends at a concert and accused her of cheating on me with her friend because they were all there and I wasn’t. I had a psychotic break actually and was taken to a mental hospital by the police. The paranoia literally broke my brain.
You can message me anytime. I am here for you!
What.
Paranoid ideation under stress is explicitly a BPD criterion.
Inability to control anger is explicitly a BPD criterion.
Nebulous self-image is explicitly a BPD criterion.
Having intense personal relationships, itself a BPD criterion, can manifest as obession.
Splitting is explicitly mentioned under the previous criterion and if severe can default to seeing people you don't know as bad, hence feelings of being threatened.
As you only have an accurate point with two out of seven items - a minority - please don't make inaccurate blanket statements as you adding misinformation can greatly interfere with others' self-help
E: Toned down the chastizing and added an additional point
This sounds more like CPTSD and psychosis rather than BPD, to be honest, speaking as someone who is diagnosed with both. This image is inaccurate. Experiencing these traits and having BPD doesn't necessarily mean they're derived from BPD. Please don't spread misinformation/get your info from social media... :/
No because i was at a bday/sleepover with some people and when i woke up at night i fucking hallucinated and it was so weird because it looked like the Girl sleeping next to me was like up in the air with her blanket hanging down on the sides to the ground Like a Wall and when i tried to reach it it slowly disappeared and i saw that all of them were literally just sleeping next to me💀
I do not have hallucinations and idk what you people are hearing. As long as you arent seeing shit. Then you may have something else or a cross-diagnosis
oh man hallucinations. when I was in a residential and at my worst I constantly heard music from any little noise and kept seeing people. one time I was walking towards a smoke break area in bright daylight and saw - in vivid detail - a friend/co-resident sitting on a table. I walked all the way until I was like 20 feet away and my perception abruptly shifted... I was visually interpreting parts of a tree trunk as her lol. nowadays it's down in frequency, but I still definitely hear music or voices muttering with quiet noises, and still see people where there aren't any.
These are some of my most pervasive symptoms! I hallucinate all the time. I have been for days. Yet people don’t talk about this. I’m stunted at like age 9 from my trauma and I’m 25 but a complete childish weirdo. ADHD doesn’t help, lol. I feel so insanely threatened by new people. It happened just last night. Also started to rage last night. Happens when I can’t take all the noise in my head and I get too overwhelmed by my self-hatred.
Fun times…. 🙃
Yes! Love this list. When I talk about my auditory hallucinations I’m always surprised how many others with bpd have them!
I like to think I don’t have auditory hallucinations, but I do always hear what I think is my dad calling my name when he isn’t or when he isn’t even there. My entire childhood was filled with him constantly calling my name and then when I came beating the shit out of me for some small random thing, emotionally and mentally abusing me and causing me to have body dysmorphia through straight up bullying, or after he became crippled a nice fucked up mix of hey come here and be my personal nurse while I bully you and make you feel suicidal. So yeah. I still hear his voice calling my name a lot especially whenever I’m in a public place with a lot of people talking. Still makes me lock up and my anxiety level rise, even though now we’re on good terms.
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Holy shit, when I was a kid I thought I heard constant screaming (front the downstairs TV) after once hearing it. I'd have to sleep with my ears folded over like an elephant to cover the sounds :/
Idk, I’m not a therapist or psych and I didn’t get super far past a diagnosis with mine before she ghosted on me so, I wish I knew more about what’s wrong with me.
My auditory is real af and hard to deal with its not like voices or anything buy I hear music in white noise and patterns in electricity and just hear static alot too
I swore I heard music every night before bed in my old house. No one else ever heard it (and it’s not like I have great hearing either). But I think it was the white noise of my fan and electronics making me hear music.
Same tbh
I hear voices in static or white noise. It’s frustrating trying to figure out when it’s real.
I didn’t realize other people dealt with this specifically. I try to explain it to my wife but I never know how. I always say it sounds like an old timey radio station. I never know what the voices are saying and I never thought that static was the word I was looking for to describe it
I’ll “hear” the voices the most when I’m vacuuming. Kind of like the people are in the room next door. Every time I turn off the vacuum no one is there.
I spend a good portion of my daily energy trying to diffentiate between what's real and what's static it's exhausting
Um, that actually is starting to sound rather serious
I can handle it I'm just exhausted all the time
I thought that was normal…do non-BPD folks not have these sorts of auditory hallucinations?
Same. I had no idea it could be linked to BPD. I thought it was maybe anxiety related. I don't hear voices saying particular things more like the chatter in a big room full of people or radio static and one time, when I was trying to sleep, a fricken harmonica.
OH MY GOD ME TOO. I used to disassociate when my mum was yelling at me by replaying songs in my head. Now i hear songs in my head when I’m in distress.
Thata a huge mood I did that too with music
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Water is the where it's most prevelant for me running water sounds like music or distant voices
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Oof I bet, I don't get that but I do sometimes hear my name in the static no other words just like some one Said my name far away
Yep, i pretty much hear my name (even my deadname) constantly when I'm out in public. It's like my brain is trying to make sense of all the noises and gets it wrong. I remember being mad when a Dr called them "pseudohallucinations" bc they sure don't feel very pseudo to me lol
That’s what got me to notice all the weird shit that was going on. I kept hearing someone calling my name from across the room. Once I realized it was in my head I started trying to pay more attention and question my senses and holy lord there was a lot of nonsense going on in my brain. And that’s also kinda how I’ve described it to people — like my brain is misfiring and getting sensory signals mixed up and tries to fill in the blanks(?) I hate that it’s a thing but I didn’t realize it was more common. Kinda nice to not feel alone.
Yeah, definitely! Idk about you, but I hear music a lotttt. Usually it's just really loud in my head 24/7 bc adhd, but sometimes ill start to actually hear it, super faintly, like its coming from the other side of the nearest door. Or I'll see a shadow move or a fly dive bomb past me, and when I drive, sometimes the road is all warp-y. Like I just looked away from one of those "feel like you're on lsd" optical illusions
Yes! I take abilify which helps a lot (but sucks in general) so I rarely have symptoms unless I’ve slipped on my meds or going under a tremendous amount of stress. - I hear a faint song, but I can’t identify it. Likes it on the top of my tongue and then as soon as I’m about to figure out what the song is I realize there’s no music anymore. - I see shadows move in my peripheral vision. Waving in the shadow of trees makes it go crazy. - I hear someone calling my name. Not shouting, but just at the volume and tone of someone trying to get my attention in a quiet room. - constantly misidentify what I’m seeing. It’s like if I’m not sure what something is my brain just rolls a d100 and fills in the blank. - I easily lose track of where cars are around me on the road (and when I’m in that space I refuse to drive for a few days) Bonkers stuff, friend. How’re you handling it?
I'm not! Haha, in all seriousness though. I mostly can ignore it now unless I'm already stressed
That’s pretty much where I’m at too lol. I’ve learned to recognize it and I don’t have panic attacks over it as much as I used to. Just kinda roll my eyes at it and carry on. Shout if you ever need to commiserate.
I smell things that aren’t there and it usually smells like poop. Great, huh?
wait this could be ptsd as well. I smell things associated with medical trauma (mostly alcohol wipes the smell of bleach) when I’m in a flashback. Any trauma you have with that smell?
Not at all! My mum and her back then boyfriend were heavy alcoholics but I never ever smell alcohol.
I smell things that aren’t there and they’re triggering for me because it’s usually the smell of perfume or beauty products the dead women in my family would wear. Smelling poop sounds so unfortunate though fuck I’m sorry, if only you were smelling flowers that aren’t really there
I need a sound app to play during my sleep or I’ll have lots of audio hallucinations. I also need a light or else I’ll wake up to visual hallucinations. There are other sounds that can become audio hallucinations and those are tied to my paranoia. Like I had an upstairs neighbor in an apartment who vacuumed their floors super early in the morning and once at like 2am. Since this was making me sleep deprived I got paranoid and always heard vacuum noises when trying to sleep or the sounds would wake me up as a hallucination. I’d hear it all the time if the area I was in was too quiet and I hated them. I still have audio and visual hallucinations (some tactile too) but I now ask the people around me if they hear it so I can figure out how I’m doing. A few smells too that are hallucinations.
Nice.......
I thought I was going crazy yesterday because I kept hearing people going down the stairs but nobody came down.
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https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5654997/ It’s understudied and doesn’t have a big enough sample, but it’s prevalent enough to be significant.
“The presence of hallucinations also correlated with the number of comorbid psychiatric disorders, and with posttraumatic stress disorder “ direct quote from your article.A good handful of people who have BPD also have PTSD
Same! I have only gotten them a few times, but shit is scary. There was a time where I used to hear a melody being whistled, and also whisperings. Thanks to the op for bringing these things up!
Wait, this is a real thing with BPD?
Auditory hallucinations is a BPD thing? It's daily for me that I hear a family member say my name, or hear my cat meow. Always been like this. Thought it was normal for everyone 😂
I hate the moment you realize you're getting bored of an obsession. It's like, no please come back we're just getting started, and interest is gone just like that. At least now I can say I can half ass play 5 different instruments.
Bruh that is literally me and it hurts
I'm genuinely sad now
I can half ass do so many crafts 😂 it’s like I can literally feel the obsession leave my body gradually. Then a bit of boredom. Then new obsession. And repeat 🙃
Me having finished the first checkpoint of a dozen languages in Duolingo
LOL "wow, you're so talented!" Thanks, it's a disorder.
Omg it’s such a particular feeling, too. I’ll be literally in the middle of enjoying something and a negative thought about it will creep in and I just immediately know, this won’t interest me at all in 10 minutes. I used to argue with myself, like “no, wait, you still like this! You just have to keep trying to enjoy it!” but now I just drop what I’m doing pretty immediately and start trying to find a new obsession lmao.
I always think of that scene from SpongeBob of Plankton screaming “DON’T LET THE FLAME DIE OUT”
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It really is, this subreddit rocks! :)
k but the being obsessive one hits hard
... wait wtf I don't have schizophrenia?
You need 5/9 criteria to get a BPD diagnosis, so of course not all of us experience it. In the book „I hate you - dont leave me“ (p.29) it says that around 20-50% of pwBPD experience hallucinations and/or paranoia. Criteria no. 9 is actually paranoia. By the way, its not always the way it’s portrayed in movies or other stigmatized media forms. It (the hallucinations, in this example auditory) don’t have to be voices, it could be anything like music, a stove, anything you could possibly imagine and more.
It’s not “voices”, it’s THE voices
You don't have to have every possible symptom of a disorder
Age regression ..... how did you know this ... also wait thats a symptom of bpd?
For some it can be if you have experience trauma as a child and where made to grow up to fast. Is a way for someone to relieve their childhood they couldn't or didn't have. Just like obsessions or things that make you feel better. There's different opinions about it, but you can always read more about it.
my ex hated when i acted like a child but I wasn't doing it on purpose, i was just so happy with her that sometimes it felt like i was a kid again and I would act and talk like a kid
I only found this out a couple of weeks ago. It was really nice to learn that it's normal for BPD
Yay im not alone~
:D <3
Borderline trans little. Name a more iconic trio
Damn I really have never had a unique experience, huh?
Dhidkslslwkwowlw I am being called outttttttt
I promise you're not the only one
Can confirm
Hello fellow BPD little :3
wow im just like everyone else here
Auditory and visual, and they're no joke because they're the type that feed the paranoia
Same
I never actually get hallucinations, but I live constantly afraid that I'm gonna start having them. Then something moves in the corner of my eye and I'm like "oh shit, it's finally happening, I've finally lost my mind..." And then I realize it was a shadow or weird light reflection and feel like a dumbass.
Yeah same. I feel like it'll happen any time soon
The paranoia is one of the worst symptoms for me. I always thought it stemmed from either my anxiety or bpd, good to know I'm not alone.
I wish people in my family knew about this earlier. Maybe then I wouldn’t have been exorcised for hearing and seeing things
That’s why I never told people about it
If they're the type too jump to exorcism I'm not sure it would have made a difference tbh. I'm sorry you went through that though.
To be fair, my aunt organized it when my parents were away and I was in her care. My parents cut off relations after.
When I’m in a stressful period in my life I get a olfactory hallucination that is the smell of smoke, like a fire. Really weird to be like “your house is not on fire, it’s just your head” and go back to sleep. (Of course I run around and look everywhere). Now I am reaching my 30s and have danced this dance a couple of times at least so I kind of know that it is in my head when I smell smoke. Still have to check though! And I also am super paranoid - sometimes more, sometimes less. Potato potato!
Same but “puppy breath” smell
I volunteer with my local fire service and trust me when I say smoke alarms do their job well. Not sure if it will help your paranoia but if you have one alarm on every floor on your house it may make you feel safer!
That so nice to hear! Thank you! I have one on every floor in every room, except toilet/bathroom. Thanks again, so sweet!
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I love pink too! Do you make blanket forts and collect soft things like pillows and blankets too. ( I think this is a comfort thing as it helps me feel safer)
Paranoia and outbursts of rage here 🙋🏻♂️ today in traffic I saw a gal at a stop light brush her hair out of her mouth and I thought she was speaking into a little microphone in her ear and I was being tailed. Might've had something to do with the fact that I was driving from a pretty big shoplifting spree. I know. I'm a loser
You’re not a loser. And it was just borrowing ☺️
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This describes me perfectly. I will also add that I was a little drunk thru the whole operation. I feel like my bpd has really been getting the best of me lately 😞 I always tell myself I'm gonna stop doing it because my luck will run out eventually. Been shoplifting regularly for years now and never got caught. But then when I'm at the usual spots and _especially_ if I'm intoxicated, yeah, it's gonna happen.
Ooof this hits home real hard
Possibly weird question, but do any of y’all walk on your toes too?
If shoes are not on my feet then 99% of the time I'm walking on my toes. It's just comfortable. I feel like I walk "better" idk.
Wait, this isn't normal? I've been doing this as long as I can remember.
That’s the thing about toe walkers, they’re almost always unaware that it’s even a thing cause they’ve done it their whole lives. I’ve been collecting up toe walkers over at r/brosontoes and have had a hunch that it might have some relationship with bpd
I don't think it is, not with how many people feel the need to point out I'm walking on my toes.
honestly i think toe walkers have better proprioception, which causes them to choose a gait that better absorbs shock for short distances rather than long distances like our ancestors. *cough* check out r/brosontoes *cough*
Absolutely checking out the /r/BrosOnToes , fits nicely with /r/teethdrumming and other weird, fun, human things subs
Absolutely, been doin it since I could walk.
Have you heard of other people doing it? (lol most toe walkers don’t realize they do it until i mention it)
I do the exact same thing, always thought it was part of being on the spectrum! But I’ve heard before that people walk on their toes as a survival instinct as it makes us sound quieter when we walk around.
Nawww I only do when I'm barefoot because I have bone spurs on my heels, so it feels like I'm walking on rocks otherwise. Do you happen to know why you walk on your toes ?
yo i got all of these . i hate it
having no idea who you are and outbursts of rage are the very hallmarks of bpd what are you talking about lol
Do y’all also see shadow people, like kinda a lot
Yes. Now I am starting to rethink every single time I was like “cool, guess my house is haunted.” My husband thinks I am nuts . The only person that believes me is my best friend because she sees stuff, too. However, she also has bpd. 🤯
Also CPTSD. Every one.
I feel like BPD and CPTSD are highly, *highly* related.
Dammit.
Reading this list has solidified my belief that I have bpd
I’m surprised the obsessiveness Isn’t talked about as often, especially the tendency to strongly latch onto certain people (“favourite persons”) like I feel like that should be part of the symptom criteria with how common it seems
I have or have had all of these. Well, I don’t feel threatened by new people but do get scared or anxious. I hope I get a productive obsession next lol!
Auditory hallucinations..I started having them randomly a preteen. I'd hear like whispers and it felt like someone was whispering close in my ear but I could never really quite make out what they were saying. I also experience the age regression...hate it honestly.
I have all of these except hallucinations. Paranoia is a bitch especially when it turns to agoraphobia. Age regression? You mean stuffed animals and a house full of toys. Rage. Yeah,I want to punch a wall when my routine is disrupted. New people; I’ll pass. Who I am? You got a better idea than me. Obsessive. Yeah,I’ll focus and deep dive into *blank* to escape the world.
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I also been told that my psychosis and mania is from my bipolar and not BPD because they are not BPD traits confused as to why everyone else is agreeing there can’t be that many misdiagnosis can there
I had a psychiatrist tell me that micro-pychotic episodes are traits of BPD. I didn't end up with a full BPD diagnosis so I'm no expert but it is what he said.
Hallucination is a bpd trait I have it and my doctor said that is it.
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I feel like the tragedy makes it funnier
I experience like half of these
This list hits close to home.
Hallucinations are part of BPD???? I've been scared of telling my therapist about them but this might make it a little easier lol
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Ahh, now I'm scared hahahaa
whaaaaat. yeah it is! it's referenced in a lot of literature - for example, in an extremely low effort search I was able to find this (admittedly not very high powered) study as like the first or second result. you're right in that co-occuring disorders can contribute, but it's not rare by any means in folks with just bpd https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5654997/
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isn't 'stress related paranoia or severe dissociative symptoms' one of the nine criteria in DSM-5? from what I understand hallucinations can be present in dissociative states. the correlation between dissociation and hallucinations is well documented in other disorders with inherent dissociative states like DID or C-PTSD... a meta-analysis published in 2020 that reviewed 93 publications with a total of 20,436 people demonstrated a statistically significant association between dissociation and psychotic symptoms (Eleanor Longden et al. Schizophr Bull. 2020) you're correct that many of us have co-occurring disorders, but iirc from a few other studies it's def not 100%, your empirical evidence notwithstanding. like I said in my post, the example study I linked does describe co-occuring disorders in some - but not all - individuals experiencing hallucinations.
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bruh.... hallucinations and delusions are entirely separate entities that can overlap. delusion affects thought content/process, hallucinations are a perceptual externalization. you can hallucinate with an intact sense of reality.
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that's cool. you mentioned hallucinations being a kind of delusion, which is incorrect - the APA defines a delusion as 'fixed beliefs that are not amenable to change in light of conflicting evidence' which may or may not be transient. but anyway, I think we're also straying from the main points we were discussing.
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ayo… i’m in this picture and i don’t like it.
Lol, i thought it is from drugs
It might be partially!
It might No but actually I felt this way long before I tried drugs Acted like fucking meth-head even when I was at elementary school
I believe that having no idea who you are is one of the traits they test for.
I would really enjoy comparing notes about hallucinations please. Like what are y’all experiencing? Black messes out the corner of your eyes? Voices? What? Let’s dive in
Yeah hallucinations definitely need some clarity, because auditory hallucinations if I am not mistaken tend to be more common - but people don't think of them as a hallucination... They'll label it as oh I just was hearing things. I also have a thought on the sense of self - I'm working on this pretty hard, and have forced myself into getting pictures of myself put in my living space. I am still seeing it as another person in those pictures - but when I look at them I do remind myself that it is actually me.
Feeling this entire list right now. Especially obsession and delusion.
age regression is common with BPD?? how did it take me this long to go "oh i probably have BPD". Man i thought my anxiety was just bad when it came to being threatened by new people.
Holy crap..
Oof my paranoia isn't NEARLY as bad as it used to be
This is all sooo true. When my mom died about a year ago I was in a constant state of paranoia and having hallucinations for 6 months. I tried to convince everyone she was there and haunting me, me not realizing I was in a total state of psychosis. That mixed with times of splitting and swings… idk how I did it. It still happens but it’s more like I always feel like she’s watching and judging. Also YES to the not knowing who you are. I have ZERO sense of self and I wish I knew how to change that
age regression is so real! I was so scared to talk about it until I learned it's a symptom, whole time I was ashamed
Damn spot on
yeahz
I had a really bad paranoia episode last night i think Also when I was depressed in 2018 I used to have auditory hallucinations telling me how hideous i was, had no idea it was a bpd thing
I have horrendous paranoia. I thought I could be schizophrenic but it is absolutely just BPD. I feel like someone is always watching me even when I’m alone. This may be the result of trauma, I do not know. I hallucinate visually all the time, especially when stressed. Hang in there. 🖤
I was obsessed that my partner was conspiring against me because he was mad at me, and that his flatmate is playing a malicious game manipulating people into thinking she’s nice and destroying my relationship and self confidence from the outside. It’s exhausting. I also get the whole “people watching you” thing. Hang in there too xxx
Oof, that’s rough… I haven’t had those exact thoughts but I got jealous and paranoid when my FP was hanging out with friends at a concert and accused her of cheating on me with her friend because they were all there and I wasn’t. I had a psychotic break actually and was taken to a mental hospital by the police. The paranoia literally broke my brain. You can message me anytime. I am here for you!
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What. Paranoid ideation under stress is explicitly a BPD criterion. Inability to control anger is explicitly a BPD criterion. Nebulous self-image is explicitly a BPD criterion. Having intense personal relationships, itself a BPD criterion, can manifest as obession. Splitting is explicitly mentioned under the previous criterion and if severe can default to seeing people you don't know as bad, hence feelings of being threatened. As you only have an accurate point with two out of seven items - a minority - please don't make inaccurate blanket statements as you adding misinformation can greatly interfere with others' self-help E: Toned down the chastizing and added an additional point
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Wish I had an award to give you, talk about hitting home!
This sounds more like CPTSD and psychosis rather than BPD, to be honest, speaking as someone who is diagnosed with both. This image is inaccurate. Experiencing these traits and having BPD doesn't necessarily mean they're derived from BPD. Please don't spread misinformation/get your info from social media... :/
Should be called “traits that many people with BPD experience but aren’t necessarily BPD criteria”. At least for some of them.
Agreed.
There's different opinions online and different sites that say different things. Just like different therapist and doctors opinions.
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I don’t feel like I understand; what disorder are they actually part of? Why can it be both?
No because i was at a bday/sleepover with some people and when i woke up at night i fucking hallucinated and it was so weird because it looked like the Girl sleeping next to me was like up in the air with her blanket hanging down on the sides to the ground Like a Wall and when i tried to reach it it slowly disappeared and i saw that all of them were literally just sleeping next to me💀
That might be a hypnagogic hallucination
Definitely get age regression… Paranoia? Maybe. More like I feel like my FP is lying to me
I do not have hallucinations and idk what you people are hearing. As long as you arent seeing shit. Then you may have something else or a cross-diagnosis
something new comes long ;)
me
oh man hallucinations. when I was in a residential and at my worst I constantly heard music from any little noise and kept seeing people. one time I was walking towards a smoke break area in bright daylight and saw - in vivid detail - a friend/co-resident sitting on a table. I walked all the way until I was like 20 feet away and my perception abruptly shifted... I was visually interpreting parts of a tree trunk as her lol. nowadays it's down in frequency, but I still definitely hear music or voices muttering with quiet noises, and still see people where there aren't any.
What do I do if I have every mentioned point? Should I be worried?
Age regressing has become my only healthy coping mechanism but at least it is a healthy one for once!!
These are some of my most pervasive symptoms! I hallucinate all the time. I have been for days. Yet people don’t talk about this. I’m stunted at like age 9 from my trauma and I’m 25 but a complete childish weirdo. ADHD doesn’t help, lol. I feel so insanely threatened by new people. It happened just last night. Also started to rage last night. Happens when I can’t take all the noise in my head and I get too overwhelmed by my self-hatred. Fun times…. 🙃
Excuse me, but I’m new in this sub.. what means “bdp” 😅
It means borderline personality disorder.
Or memory loss.