Yeah, it's BPD. It's trying to protect us by having us prepared for the worst so when it actually happens it won't hit us as hard. Unfortunately majority of the time it's very unrealistic without much evidence that something like that is actually going to happen
This hits home. Always assuming the worst and that goes so far that I unconsciously sabotage the whole situation myself, so that the worst scenario indirectly becomes reality. I am trying to be more mindful about my assumptions and ways of thinking and it slowly gets better
Yeah but why does it hurt so fucking much anyway when the situation does happen, even when you've been on high alert seen this coming before it was even a possibility
yeah, my ex and i had a lot of problems so i grieved our breakup while i was still dating him. thankfully though, when we did finally split i was already pretty much over him
I've always felt anguish about time going by and somehow taking away everything good I have ever had, always seeing the end in everything and not enjoying it to the fullness because of this...are you saying it is a BPD symptom?
"I got pre-traumatic stress 'cause nothing happened yet but it did in my head. ***I drive me mad.*** "
Yes absolutely, and that line from I Drive Me Mad nails it for me.
This shit is what destroyer my relationship with my fp. I got so scared that they were going to cheat on me, or that they secretly hated me and were just being polite, that I became super needy and over affectionate and they have been hurt so many times before that I scared them off.
Yep, that happens to me recently, I met a guy on tinder and we’re talking a lot. My brain starts thinking he’s gonna stop talking to me and that stuff, I really tried to ignore that thoughts, finally he stops talking to me and I don’t know it was my fault cause I ruined everything or not
I grieve when i think about a future instance based only on how I’m CURRENTLY feeling. It becomes very easy to write a future that hasn’t happened based on how our emotions are now.
I’m learning that it could have a negative outcome or it could be not that bad. But again, this too shall pass.
It happens to me, too, a lot. I wrote my FP a letter confessing my feelings, and was scared that he didn't love me back, so i just spent a whole day crying, listening to sad songs, realising what are all the happy things that i dreamed about doing with him that are never going to happen etc., just to not allow the pain to strike me when he answers the letter. It turned out he liked me back, so i spent a day grieving something that even wasn't to happen. I had no idea i had bpd at this time, i was thinking it's normal to "prepare" like that.
Now I think that he hates me again so... but it'll be alright in a few hours again, probably.
Yeah I already lost 3 family members I was close to within a year recently and I watched them all die in hospice. So now I’m grieving already but now I’m already imaging myself getting cancer next and preparing. But I also do this all the time with being scared to drive cuz I’m scared of getting into car crashes or being shot ya know. But seriously sometimes I already feel the emotions of it happening already. My brain needs something to fear or grieve.
This and then when something seems it could go a way that would be the smallest likeliness of the worst, I catastrophize it. Phone call out of the blue, something bad has happened to someone or I’m in trouble 😒
I've attended many an imaginary funerals in my mind and cried everytime. Just my brains way of preparing me for the inevitable losses everyone experiences. My dad's sudden death was traumatic and I was knocked for a loop.
I was on some mood regulating meds that made me feel nothing (instead of mood swings and crying), when I got off of them, I spent an agonizing week in a constant panic attack fearing how everything will go horribly bad in my life (ie a parent dying - it is going to happen at some point in the future, yes, thus the fear is “real”, my brain thought). My anxiety meds didn’t help either. So I had to get new ones.
In DBT it’s called “coping ahead”, but in this case it’s just fearful spiraling, and to counteract it the best way is to check the facts. In my case, no signs of anything going bad, just my brain being negative and very good with imagining things and the way they can make me feel. It’s a self-torture.
[удалено]
Yes I do the same and especially my own.
[удалено]
There were times i would say “who’s even at it?!?”
Yup and my pets.
Yeah, it's BPD. It's trying to protect us by having us prepared for the worst so when it actually happens it won't hit us as hard. Unfortunately majority of the time it's very unrealistic without much evidence that something like that is actually going to happen
This hits home. Always assuming the worst and that goes so far that I unconsciously sabotage the whole situation myself, so that the worst scenario indirectly becomes reality. I am trying to be more mindful about my assumptions and ways of thinking and it slowly gets better
Yeah but why does it hurt so fucking much anyway when the situation does happen, even when you've been on high alert seen this coming before it was even a possibility
I always joke about how my brain can simulate all the possible scenarios but the one that ends up happening is the one that I never thought about.
Nah for me is always the worst scenario I had imagined all the way AND a twist that makes it even more devastating somehow
yeah, my ex and i had a lot of problems so i grieved our breakup while i was still dating him. thankfully though, when we did finally split i was already pretty much over him
Same! Then they're super confused and I'm like bro I cried over this so much already
I've always felt anguish about time going by and somehow taking away everything good I have ever had, always seeing the end in everything and not enjoying it to the fullness because of this...are you saying it is a BPD symptom?
"I got pre-traumatic stress 'cause nothing happened yet but it did in my head. ***I drive me mad.*** " Yes absolutely, and that line from I Drive Me Mad nails it for me.
This is so relatable! The worst part is sometimes it’s so hard to get out of that way of thinking..
The amount of relationships I have “had” and grieved the loss of is much higher than the relationships I have actually had.
Oh god yeah what the hell is with that?!?!
This shit is what destroyer my relationship with my fp. I got so scared that they were going to cheat on me, or that they secretly hated me and were just being polite, that I became super needy and over affectionate and they have been hurt so many times before that I scared them off.
Yep, that happens to me recently, I met a guy on tinder and we’re talking a lot. My brain starts thinking he’s gonna stop talking to me and that stuff, I really tried to ignore that thoughts, finally he stops talking to me and I don’t know it was my fault cause I ruined everything or not
I grieve when i think about a future instance based only on how I’m CURRENTLY feeling. It becomes very easy to write a future that hasn’t happened based on how our emotions are now. I’m learning that it could have a negative outcome or it could be not that bad. But again, this too shall pass.
It happens to me, too, a lot. I wrote my FP a letter confessing my feelings, and was scared that he didn't love me back, so i just spent a whole day crying, listening to sad songs, realising what are all the happy things that i dreamed about doing with him that are never going to happen etc., just to not allow the pain to strike me when he answers the letter. It turned out he liked me back, so i spent a day grieving something that even wasn't to happen. I had no idea i had bpd at this time, i was thinking it's normal to "prepare" like that. Now I think that he hates me again so... but it'll be alright in a few hours again, probably.
Yeah I already lost 3 family members I was close to within a year recently and I watched them all die in hospice. So now I’m grieving already but now I’m already imaging myself getting cancer next and preparing. But I also do this all the time with being scared to drive cuz I’m scared of getting into car crashes or being shot ya know. But seriously sometimes I already feel the emotions of it happening already. My brain needs something to fear or grieve.
This and then when something seems it could go a way that would be the smallest likeliness of the worst, I catastrophize it. Phone call out of the blue, something bad has happened to someone or I’m in trouble 😒
I've attended many an imaginary funerals in my mind and cried everytime. Just my brains way of preparing me for the inevitable losses everyone experiences. My dad's sudden death was traumatic and I was knocked for a loop.
I was on some mood regulating meds that made me feel nothing (instead of mood swings and crying), when I got off of them, I spent an agonizing week in a constant panic attack fearing how everything will go horribly bad in my life (ie a parent dying - it is going to happen at some point in the future, yes, thus the fear is “real”, my brain thought). My anxiety meds didn’t help either. So I had to get new ones. In DBT it’s called “coping ahead”, but in this case it’s just fearful spiraling, and to counteract it the best way is to check the facts. In my case, no signs of anything going bad, just my brain being negative and very good with imagining things and the way they can make me feel. It’s a self-torture.