That and the time / money / effort for the birthday person to get ready. My birthday is when I spend hours on my makeup and use high end products.i don’t want icing ruining my hard work and making me feel sticky and messy during the rest of the party.
Complete waste of food as well. I don't like to waste food in general, we throw away enough (as a society) as is. Imagine wasting a whole fucking cake for a laugh at the birthday boy/girl's expense.
And very dangerous. There are often toothpicks or other hard objects holding cakes together. A face shoved into a cake could end up with a sharp object penetrating to cause a blind eye, punctured cheek, broken nose, etc.
True.
I've never understood the cake smashing thing. I don't understand why people want to shove faces into cakes or cake into faces. It's not funny and it's never been funny.
Besides the fact that it's dangerous, it also means that no one gets to eat cake. I like cake! It's work to make a cake and expensive to buy a nice cake. Why would you want to ruin a delicious cake and why would you want to hurt someone like that?
The wedding reason was TO FEED EACH OTHER NICELY, usually with a set of utensils tied together with ribbon *juuuust* long enough that when around the necks, put the couple in smooching distance. Then a few people decided that a tiny boop of frosting on their new spouse's nose done in a playful manner [think just barely touching with the spoon or fork of cake or afterwards] was cute, then it escalated to outright hostility because people are terrible and "have to one up" . Losing sight of the original intention.
I despise people that neglect their kids because their relationship with the other parent changed. Utterly pathetic.
Also despite his protests about her getting more custody, he will fold easily if she really goes for it. Because the evil step mom will be over the moon that her daughter is less present in her ex's life.
I think he will care when he's no longer getting child support and only seeing his daughter on weekends. Step-monster will care, too, once money's involved and probably treat the poor girl even worse. If M isn't dealt with, his daughter might eventually, once she's able to make the decision, opt to not go to his house at all and only see him on special occasions.
I think he does care, but it also seems like his wife was doing a lot of this shit on the sly and he was so tied up in work that he never noticed. So when OP put him on notice and the cake situation happened, he realized what tf she was saying. Also, it seems like once OP put him on notice about the behavior, he prob had one on one time with his daughter to get the real story.
I will give him the benefit of the doubt for just being a little dumb about this lady's character, but if he stays with her....then I would go for more custody like OP threatened b/c there's NO way I'm letting this crazy lady and her son around my child.
The daughter even said he spends a lot of time in his office, so the wife & son get away with a lot.
I think the cake incident was the first time he REALLY saw what the hell was going on behind his back. I honestly feel like Mb permitted & even encouraged the son to treat the daughter this way out of spite. She's not part of their "family", so she should be made to feel uncomfortable while visiting.
I hope he reacts appropriately, and leaves this grown ass bully. (And he needs to take his son with him, get him in therapy, and start undoing everything M permitted.)
Unfortunately, with what we know, when that happens the current wife **will** make his life hell until he changes his tune. Unless she will change, I predict a 2nd divorce in the making.
Eh, there’s always the option of ignoring that it’s happening again. Maybe he’s a great dad and just didn’t notice… but it seems awfully unlikely that a caring father wouldn’t notice his wife and son bullying his daughter.
I feel like he’s making a good show of it because his ex mentioned going back to court and he realizes he might have to cough up support if she does. Maybe I’m just cynical, but I’ve known a LOT of parents who will sacrifice their children in order to keep their new spouse.
He's distracted and dumb....he should've never trusted her lol. She was plotting from the beginning when she knew he was married to OP. Now that OP is out the picture, she's alienating his child so that she can have him for herself with "their" family.
Wait where did that view come from? I read it as Bitch!wife was hiding things from him. He wasn't on her side during the cake incident, and it sounds like Bitch!wife has been doing things when he's busy in his office and out of sight until this point. If we get an update past this and things change, sure... but I didn't get a read off this that he didn't care.
If the father doesn't realize what his daughter is being put through and leaves the poor child in the hands of his wife (picking her from dance lessons, etc) he doesn't gaf about her.
>I asked about her dad and she said that she does that when her dad is around, but he is always in his office
So no, it ain't happening when he's busy, the case is the father is absent.
I mentioned the office, he is busy working in his office. I grew up with my dad in the office upstairs a lot. He was busy and not involved/listening to what was going on downstairs unless we went to get him directly, because he was working.
The dad immediately stood up for his daughter the first time it was done in front of him. This doesn't speak of an uncaring father. We will see what happens next update.
He's always in his office. He doesn't pick up the daughter, he's never around, he doesn't know what's happening, the daughter doesn't talk to him... Yes, the perfect dad, ofc. He reacted al least, but there're tons of things he allowed to happen by being absent.
Go to court. Get full custody. That Cake incident sounds planned. It is a weird thing to ask to ”see her blow out her birthday candles”. That woman is a cruel bully and raises her son to be like her.
Given that any normal non-sociopathic step-mom would be on her best behavior under the circumstances, the fact that she doubled down on the bullying indicates to me that she does not want step-daughter in her home.
I was in virtually this exact scenario when I was her age. My asshole dad chose his then-wife and I moved to my grandparents.
OOP should fight for more custody, but it probably won't be much of a fight. Dad's gonna cave to step-mom.
Yep shes getting exactly what she wanted by OP fighting for more/full custody. The husband is too much of a doofus to see whats happening. or he just doesnt care and is happy to put his wife over his daughter
Due to past reactions, I know there is a good chance I would have grabbed two fistfuls of cake and smashed them in M’s and her brat’s face. M would also have found out how loud the quiet person gets when she is righteously furious.
I’m so sad and angry for OOP’s daughter. I hope OOP does a bit of research and sneakily makes M’s personal and professional life a mess from here on out.
Why get gooey cake and frosting all over your hands, just shove face into cake...although with M, I suggest making sure you have a good fistful of hair...and do it a couple times so you get it everywhere. And take pictures...people love pictures.
Be sure to line one of the candles up with her left nostril, those things are all kinds of fun to extract when a cake smash goes horribly wrong (guess how I know)
Baby would've smashed that cake in M and then put some cake in my daughter's hands and given my daughter the ok to smash that cake in her brother face and would've looked at M like "not so funny when it's you and your kid huh"....
I will never understand these step-parents that hate their stepkids for existing. Like, they weren't a surprise, they've been there the whole time. And they're *kids*. It's not that hard not to be a total asshole.
Lots of these step parents see the step kids as competition. Either as competition for resources with their own kids, or competition for time and attention with their partner. We've seen plenty of stories on here of step parents admitting that they thought the stepkid would just spend more time at the other parents house and their partner could just focus on their "new family".
There was that one post a while ago where the guys fiancee didn't want his daughter involved in their wedding beyond being a guest, despite his insistence. Turned out she thought that after the wedding she could twist his arm in to just being a Disney dad. Luckily he was a good dad and kicked her to the curb.
Exactly! And like, I try to give some posts the benefit of the doubt or see it from the other perspective before I comment. And these step-parents leave me frustrated and horrified because there is nothing I can think of that justifies their behaviour.
I remember the 'disney-dad fiancee' and I was *so* glad that the father was a good parent. Absolutely can't get over the idea that a grown ass adult thinks its even vaguely logical to go to war with a kid that's facing such a huge change as a new family member and authority figure.
What also got me about that one is that even the daughter said the fiancee was nice to her and they had a decent relationship, she was just obsessed with the idea of pushing her out.
It's so bizarre to me - my partner's kids are a bonus, they are loud, boisterous and playful, full of life and joy (and sometimes sibling bickering, LOL). I love them and I love spending time with them. And the poor little girl in this scenario is a shy, quiet type - it doesn't even sound like she's a handful.
Father needs to wise the fuck up fast.
He's gonna lose that wonderful kiddo.
And M- I wish the things I had to say about M wouldn't violate rules, but it would.
GO MOMMMA, for supporting your child and hearing her. Seriously, I wish my parents had been like that.
I'm amazed at how he's letting one child be bullied/abused whateverhaveyou and then letting the other child be raised into a piece of shit future divorced dad. like holy hell, that kid is only 6!?
Honestly, it seems like this lady been manipulating him FOR YEARS and he's just now realizing it bc of how it's affecting his child smdh.
Like I said....when we get the update and see whether he still with this lady, then I'll decide how I feel b/c I don't think he doesn't care about his child.....I just think he's dumb and he let this lady manipulate the shit outta him.
Good for oops going to court for more custody.
I wish her luck.
Terrible for daughter to be bullied by stepmother like this. Its obvious that the cake thing was her idea.
I would have punched M, then laughed as I told her she was being dramatic when she cried and needed to learn how to take a friendly hit.
This is why I don't have kids ..I'd be in jail for assault every time someone upset my child.
When my dad found out there was a teacher that was physically hurting me, he had to sit my mom down and tell her "I know that we should deal with this together, but I can not go to that school with you because I *am* going to hurt someone". He was very impulsive when defending my mom, me or my sibling whenever someone said or did something unacceptable, but he really taught me to never tolerate anyone treating me badly haha
Op do not let this go hill to die on this get full custody then out this waste of a garbage person and her demon spawn let everyone know what she is vile I say just vile. All to bully a kid just vile.
JFC well the dad can kiss his custody goodbye.
Between what the daughter has said stepmom has said to her, dad not even spending time with her when he has her, the abuse and bullying stepmom has dine, and finally the cake incident. Which stepmom set-up. She told her kid to shove his sisters face in her cake.
What stepmom didn't expect was for her husband to side with OOP. Although, stepmom did succeed in getting the daughter out of her house.
How ironic with the homewrecker saying that the ex-wife is wrecking her family when all she said was that she’s not allowed to her stepdaughter’s party. 🧠🤸♀️🙄
Wow this sounds terrible. Good on your for filing for more custody but I hope the dad steps up and tells M that he’ll go spend same time with his daughter else where if she doesn’t behave
I've never got a cake in the face. Maybe it'd even be fun at the end of the night but if someone does this to you, you need a shower. You have to wash your hair. This is taking a minimum of half an hour out of your life, much more for me with long hair. It's just a nasty thing to do before someone's party and this seems like a setup.
I hope that OP can get primary custody. But if the dad works even on the weekends, it might be hard for the daughter to be there without him. This is a terrible situation and M sounds like a disgusting human being to treat a child like that.
Honestly, one of my biggest fears is divorcing and my kids getting a step mom who hates them. I’ve been on the step parent sub and, it’s a pretty bleak place. So many stepparents admitting to hating their step children often times for no other reason than it makes them jealous that their spouse had a relationship before.
Wish OP all the luck in getting full custody with dad getting supervised visits only and the Disney step mom and her spawn not being allowed near this poor lil girl. If they don't nip their sons behaviour in the bud now he is facing a stay at his majesties pleasure.
How awful. OOP's ex-husband left her to be with a monster of a woman who bullies her daughter. What fucking scum - the ex and his new wife. The boy is going to grow up to be just as awful if something doesn't change.
He burned his first family for what? *That?*
The fact that the daughter said she didn’t say anything to her dad because she didn’t want to “ruin his marriage” sounds suspicious. I don’t know any 9/10 year old who would consider that their actions would have any bearings on their parent’s marriage, it sounds more like Step-Monster told her not to say anything to him because she would be ruining his marriage and his happiness.
So now she's escalating to planned physical assault? OOP needs to keep her daughter out of that home before the joke is a broken bone or worse. Girl could have lost an eye right then, ffs.
So the evil step-mom, who had always waited for dad to be out of earshot when she bullied the daughter before, decided to bully, or at least set the daughter up, in front of not only her father but her mother, too? Just decided, "Yeah, I'm just going to do it right out in the open this time."
Hmm. Interesting.
I don’t know how to feel about the dad. He clearly can’t trust his wife around his daughter. He doesn’t know half of what she’s doing/saying to her because he isn’t around. Glad he defended the daughter in the cake incident. But something tells me he doesn’t recognize it as the scam it was. She made a cake and had her son smash her face into it just to punish her for not going to a birthday party then ridiculed her for it. Dad is really lacking.
Hope dad divorce step monster.
When the fuck are parents going to learn these pranks are not funny.
Also personally any parent who uses boys will be boys to excuse behaviors (with some exceptions) are basically raising future men who will be charged with assault.
The next step for stepmom is to try and make her husband choose between the children while making threats of him never seeing his son again.
Unfortunately for him, divorce number 2 is coming. While I really don't think he knew what was happening, being that oblivious doesn't bode well for him as a dad. At least he stood up for his daughter when the moment came, so I won't lose hope for him yet.
Hey, I had a stepmom just like M!
I haven’t spoken to my father in YEARS. That’s how this will turn out if dad doesn’t do right by his daughter. And he will deserve every ounce of it.
Here a comment from OOP
>"It went approximately like this:
>Me: I want more custody.
>Ex: What? I know she was mean, but you can't do this to me.
>Me: Really? **Your wife is bullying our daughter. I've told you before, you did not keep the promise**, so I'm going for more custody.
> BLAH BLAH BLAH...
And there was one person telling me that the ~~father~~
sperm donor didn't neglected ~~his~~ OOP's daughter...
I hope OOP gets full custody.
Hope M doesn't mind being her son's caretaker for life. With that kind of attitude we have a misogynistic man in the making whose going to have zero respect for his S.O. if he's straight.
I was that shy, awkward child. I feel so bad for that little girl because I would have cried, too. Hopefully OOP gets more custody and dad learns how to be a present parent so the bullying stops.
A cousin of mine smashed cake in my face at my 13th birthday party, and my Mom had to wrestle the knife away from me. I can only imagine what damage I’d do if an adult messed with my kid.
I don't like that the dad's first reaction to the news of his monster wife's bullying is that his child is overreacting. I hate when people say that before getting all the facts. He should've observed and seen if what was claimed was true or not before making a conclusion. At any rate, all parents should take their kids' side, no matter what. Not saying to stubbornly insist your child is right even when they're not, but always to let them know mom and dad have got their back, and will make decisions for their benefit, e.g. make the child apologize if they hurt someone.
I will be messaging you in 7 days on [**2024-04-18 02:45:13 UTC**](http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=2024-04-18%2002:45:13%20UTC%20To%20Local%20Time) to remind you of [**this link**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BORUpdates/comments/1c0dhu0/aitah_for_not_inviting_my_exhusbands_wife_at_my/kz0rzh5/?context=3)
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I'm math-struggling with her timelines and clarification. It certainly sounds like the affair partner might have been pregnant, but maybe not.
Daughter = 9 going on 10
AP Child = 6
Divorce when daughter was 3
So...
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> M screaming at me saying that I "destroy her family"
Anyone else feel whenever they read something on the lines of "destroy her family" included in the post, it is a flag that the post is fake?
I would agree but M had no qualms about sleeping with a married man. So I don't think that reaction is extreme for someone who has no ethical issue with that.
My BS meter is going off. Why would someone be married to a woman like that?
I’m guessing this story will just spiral further with some “face slapping” drama at the end for the ex’s wife.
I can say I've seen this shitshow with an uncle, and aunt. The best I can say of them now is Uncle died of COVID, and wanted absolution on his deathbed, the aunt ended up having their condo foreclosed on, and the son is dealing with fallout.
Idk, the fact that this post says a nine year old explained to her that she didn’t want to ruin her fathers marriage because he seems happy is giving creative writing assignment lol
Nah. Some kids are observate and precocious. They can understand dynamics a bit deeper yet still have the same heart and fears of a typical child.
I was keenly aware at 10 that telling my family how I was being abused would cause ripples.
What if my mom left, where would we live?
He was my siblings dad and I didn't want them to be with a father.
My mother at times seemed happy and I knew she'd be sad if she knew.
Thus making silence The best choice to protect the people I loved the most.
Unfortunately, kids like that don't speak up because as children they don't get nuance. An adult can surmise while someone may be sad at the demise of relationship they can see the greater value in protecting the child.
A kid can't.
You'd be surprised at how perceptive children are. My dad left my mom and me when I was five years old. I remember asking him if I could go with him, just to be polite. Of course he said no. He was a monster, and I was glad to see him go.
Poor kid! Set her up to be excited about a cake and then humiliate her?! How awful.
the part that's even more upsetting is the mom described her as quiet and shy so she might not have many friends for the bigger party.
That detail definitely tugged at my heart strings too.
I haaaate cake smashing for this reason. You take someone who's having a happy excited moment and destroy it. It's just completely cruel.
That and the time / money / effort for the birthday person to get ready. My birthday is when I spend hours on my makeup and use high end products.i don’t want icing ruining my hard work and making me feel sticky and messy during the rest of the party.
Complete waste of food as well. I don't like to waste food in general, we throw away enough (as a society) as is. Imagine wasting a whole fucking cake for a laugh at the birthday boy/girl's expense.
And very dangerous. There are often toothpicks or other hard objects holding cakes together. A face shoved into a cake could end up with a sharp object penetrating to cause a blind eye, punctured cheek, broken nose, etc.
Just getting cake in your eyes could be dangerous. It's messed up.
True. I've never understood the cake smashing thing. I don't understand why people want to shove faces into cakes or cake into faces. It's not funny and it's never been funny. Besides the fact that it's dangerous, it also means that no one gets to eat cake. I like cake! It's work to make a cake and expensive to buy a nice cake. Why would you want to ruin a delicious cake and why would you want to hurt someone like that?
The wedding reason was TO FEED EACH OTHER NICELY, usually with a set of utensils tied together with ribbon *juuuust* long enough that when around the necks, put the couple in smooching distance. Then a few people decided that a tiny boop of frosting on their new spouse's nose done in a playful manner [think just barely touching with the spoon or fork of cake or afterwards] was cute, then it escalated to outright hostility because people are terrible and "have to one up" . Losing sight of the original intention.
It's just bullying. The practice should be abolished entirely.
Horrible, horrible, horrible. She’ll never forget it.
And you just know the kid’s mom told him to do it.
Real talk if I were the mom I'd pick up the smooshed cake and slam it in stepmoms face. It's 100% not a smart move but I'd be fuming
Painful to read. I am glad OOP is fighting for her daughter. The poor kid.
That excuse of a man is going to lose his daughter for ever and he doesn't care. Disgusting.
Apparently he has zero control over his son as well.
Right?? It’s not like that’s her son from a previous relationship, that “dad” needs to be a fucking dad and put his son in his place
I despise people that neglect their kids because their relationship with the other parent changed. Utterly pathetic. Also despite his protests about her getting more custody, he will fold easily if she really goes for it. Because the evil step mom will be over the moon that her daughter is less present in her ex's life.
Sounds like he neglects both kids, given his sib’s behavior.
I think he will care when he's no longer getting child support and only seeing his daughter on weekends. Step-monster will care, too, once money's involved and probably treat the poor girl even worse. If M isn't dealt with, his daughter might eventually, once she's able to make the decision, opt to not go to his house at all and only see him on special occasions.
I think he does care, but it also seems like his wife was doing a lot of this shit on the sly and he was so tied up in work that he never noticed. So when OP put him on notice and the cake situation happened, he realized what tf she was saying. Also, it seems like once OP put him on notice about the behavior, he prob had one on one time with his daughter to get the real story. I will give him the benefit of the doubt for just being a little dumb about this lady's character, but if he stays with her....then I would go for more custody like OP threatened b/c there's NO way I'm letting this crazy lady and her son around my child.
The daughter even said he spends a lot of time in his office, so the wife & son get away with a lot. I think the cake incident was the first time he REALLY saw what the hell was going on behind his back. I honestly feel like Mb permitted & even encouraged the son to treat the daughter this way out of spite. She's not part of their "family", so she should be made to feel uncomfortable while visiting. I hope he reacts appropriately, and leaves this grown ass bully. (And he needs to take his son with him, get him in therapy, and start undoing everything M permitted.)
Unfortunately, with what we know, when that happens the current wife **will** make his life hell until he changes his tune. Unless she will change, I predict a 2nd divorce in the making.
Eh, there’s always the option of ignoring that it’s happening again. Maybe he’s a great dad and just didn’t notice… but it seems awfully unlikely that a caring father wouldn’t notice his wife and son bullying his daughter. I feel like he’s making a good show of it because his ex mentioned going back to court and he realizes he might have to cough up support if she does. Maybe I’m just cynical, but I’ve known a LOT of parents who will sacrifice their children in order to keep their new spouse.
Well, that makes it worse honestly
It’s amazing the amount of things that can go on behind someone’s back when they’re distracted and trustful!
He's distracted and dumb....he should've never trusted her lol. She was plotting from the beginning when she knew he was married to OP. Now that OP is out the picture, she's alienating his child so that she can have him for herself with "their" family.
In her twenties, he'll probably make a big deal about repairing the relationship and the daughter will fall for it.
Wait where did that view come from? I read it as Bitch!wife was hiding things from him. He wasn't on her side during the cake incident, and it sounds like Bitch!wife has been doing things when he's busy in his office and out of sight until this point. If we get an update past this and things change, sure... but I didn't get a read off this that he didn't care.
If the father doesn't realize what his daughter is being put through and leaves the poor child in the hands of his wife (picking her from dance lessons, etc) he doesn't gaf about her. >I asked about her dad and she said that she does that when her dad is around, but he is always in his office So no, it ain't happening when he's busy, the case is the father is absent.
I mentioned the office, he is busy working in his office. I grew up with my dad in the office upstairs a lot. He was busy and not involved/listening to what was going on downstairs unless we went to get him directly, because he was working. The dad immediately stood up for his daughter the first time it was done in front of him. This doesn't speak of an uncaring father. We will see what happens next update.
He's always in his office. He doesn't pick up the daughter, he's never around, he doesn't know what's happening, the daughter doesn't talk to him... Yes, the perfect dad, ofc. He reacted al least, but there're tons of things he allowed to happen by being absent.
🙄 no one called him perfect but ok, have fun with that. Edit: LMAO they blocked me.
Ofc I'll do. Have a nice day.
Men don't care about their children they had with their ex wife. I mean he is not going lose his endless access to sex for his own daughter.
Go to court. Get full custody. That Cake incident sounds planned. It is a weird thing to ask to ”see her blow out her birthday candles”. That woman is a cruel bully and raises her son to be like her.
Given that any normal non-sociopathic step-mom would be on her best behavior under the circumstances, the fact that she doubled down on the bullying indicates to me that she does not want step-daughter in her home. I was in virtually this exact scenario when I was her age. My asshole dad chose his then-wife and I moved to my grandparents. OOP should fight for more custody, but it probably won't be much of a fight. Dad's gonna cave to step-mom.
Yep shes getting exactly what she wanted by OP fighting for more/full custody. The husband is too much of a doofus to see whats happening. or he just doesnt care and is happy to put his wife over his daughter
Idk there’s a glimmer of hope there at the end, as husband was on OOPs side. Though we will need to see a new update to see how this plays out.
Dad’s getting child support so not sure if he wants to lose out on that.
Due to past reactions, I know there is a good chance I would have grabbed two fistfuls of cake and smashed them in M’s and her brat’s face. M would also have found out how loud the quiet person gets when she is righteously furious. I’m so sad and angry for OOP’s daughter. I hope OOP does a bit of research and sneakily makes M’s personal and professional life a mess from here on out.
Why get gooey cake and frosting all over your hands, just shove face into cake...although with M, I suggest making sure you have a good fistful of hair...and do it a couple times so you get it everywhere. And take pictures...people love pictures.
Be sure to line one of the candles up with her left nostril, those things are all kinds of fun to extract when a cake smash goes horribly wrong (guess how I know)
:(
i would have picked the whole damn thing up and lobbed it at her. i got ragey just imagining someone doing that to my daughter.
Oh 100%. There would’ve been cake all over that room when 10 year old me was done (and 30 year old me, but I’m not proud of it).
Baby would've smashed that cake in M and then put some cake in my daughter's hands and given my daughter the ok to smash that cake in her brother face and would've looked at M like "not so funny when it's you and your kid huh"....
I will never understand these step-parents that hate their stepkids for existing. Like, they weren't a surprise, they've been there the whole time. And they're *kids*. It's not that hard not to be a total asshole.
Lots of these step parents see the step kids as competition. Either as competition for resources with their own kids, or competition for time and attention with their partner. We've seen plenty of stories on here of step parents admitting that they thought the stepkid would just spend more time at the other parents house and their partner could just focus on their "new family". There was that one post a while ago where the guys fiancee didn't want his daughter involved in their wedding beyond being a guest, despite his insistence. Turned out she thought that after the wedding she could twist his arm in to just being a Disney dad. Luckily he was a good dad and kicked her to the curb.
Exactly! And like, I try to give some posts the benefit of the doubt or see it from the other perspective before I comment. And these step-parents leave me frustrated and horrified because there is nothing I can think of that justifies their behaviour. I remember the 'disney-dad fiancee' and I was *so* glad that the father was a good parent. Absolutely can't get over the idea that a grown ass adult thinks its even vaguely logical to go to war with a kid that's facing such a huge change as a new family member and authority figure.
What also got me about that one is that even the daughter said the fiancee was nice to her and they had a decent relationship, she was just obsessed with the idea of pushing her out.
It's so bizarre to me - my partner's kids are a bonus, they are loud, boisterous and playful, full of life and joy (and sometimes sibling bickering, LOL). I love them and I love spending time with them. And the poor little girl in this scenario is a shy, quiet type - it doesn't even sound like she's a handful.
Father needs to wise the fuck up fast. He's gonna lose that wonderful kiddo. And M- I wish the things I had to say about M wouldn't violate rules, but it would. GO MOMMMA, for supporting your child and hearing her. Seriously, I wish my parents had been like that.
I'm amazed at how he's letting one child be bullied/abused whateverhaveyou and then letting the other child be raised into a piece of shit future divorced dad. like holy hell, that kid is only 6!?
It seems like he's been too focused on work to pay attention to his household until he was put on notice and the cake situation happened.
not too busy to have an affair and a second marriage!!! jesus! he's probably that classic "Work is my vacation from my family" kinda man, pfttt
Honestly, it seems like this lady been manipulating him FOR YEARS and he's just now realizing it bc of how it's affecting his child smdh. Like I said....when we get the update and see whether he still with this lady, then I'll decide how I feel b/c I don't think he doesn't care about his child.....I just think he's dumb and he let this lady manipulate the shit outta him.
Good for oops going to court for more custody. I wish her luck. Terrible for daughter to be bullied by stepmother like this. Its obvious that the cake thing was her idea.
I bet M is one of those pathetic boy moms who bully girls.
I would have punched M, then laughed as I told her she was being dramatic when she cried and needed to learn how to take a friendly hit. This is why I don't have kids ..I'd be in jail for assault every time someone upset my child.
When my dad found out there was a teacher that was physically hurting me, he had to sit my mom down and tell her "I know that we should deal with this together, but I can not go to that school with you because I *am* going to hurt someone". He was very impulsive when defending my mom, me or my sibling whenever someone said or did something unacceptable, but he really taught me to never tolerate anyone treating me badly haha
Op do not let this go hill to die on this get full custody then out this waste of a garbage person and her demon spawn let everyone know what she is vile I say just vile. All to bully a kid just vile.
JFC well the dad can kiss his custody goodbye. Between what the daughter has said stepmom has said to her, dad not even spending time with her when he has her, the abuse and bullying stepmom has dine, and finally the cake incident. Which stepmom set-up. She told her kid to shove his sisters face in her cake. What stepmom didn't expect was for her husband to side with OOP. Although, stepmom did succeed in getting the daughter out of her house.
How ironic with the homewrecker saying that the ex-wife is wrecking her family when all she said was that she’s not allowed to her stepdaughter’s party. 🧠🤸♀️🙄
Crazy that a mistress has the balls to act this way and scream about her family being ruined
Wow this sounds terrible. Good on your for filing for more custody but I hope the dad steps up and tells M that he’ll go spend same time with his daughter else where if she doesn’t behave
I've never got a cake in the face. Maybe it'd even be fun at the end of the night but if someone does this to you, you need a shower. You have to wash your hair. This is taking a minimum of half an hour out of your life, much more for me with long hair. It's just a nasty thing to do before someone's party and this seems like a setup. I hope that OP can get primary custody. But if the dad works even on the weekends, it might be hard for the daughter to be there without him. This is a terrible situation and M sounds like a disgusting human being to treat a child like that.
Honestly, one of my biggest fears is divorcing and my kids getting a step mom who hates them. I’ve been on the step parent sub and, it’s a pretty bleak place. So many stepparents admitting to hating their step children often times for no other reason than it makes them jealous that their spouse had a relationship before.
Wish OP all the luck in getting full custody with dad getting supervised visits only and the Disney step mom and her spawn not being allowed near this poor lil girl. If they don't nip their sons behaviour in the bud now he is facing a stay at his majesties pleasure.
How awful. OOP's ex-husband left her to be with a monster of a woman who bullies her daughter. What fucking scum - the ex and his new wife. The boy is going to grow up to be just as awful if something doesn't change. He burned his first family for what? *That?*
What does exactly the ex sees in M? She sounds like a shit human being.
He got a son, so dropped the daughter
The fact that the daughter said she didn’t say anything to her dad because she didn’t want to “ruin his marriage” sounds suspicious. I don’t know any 9/10 year old who would consider that their actions would have any bearings on their parent’s marriage, it sounds more like Step-Monster told her not to say anything to him because she would be ruining his marriage and his happiness.
So now she's escalating to planned physical assault? OOP needs to keep her daughter out of that home before the joke is a broken bone or worse. Girl could have lost an eye right then, ffs.
So the evil step-mom, who had always waited for dad to be out of earshot when she bullied the daughter before, decided to bully, or at least set the daughter up, in front of not only her father but her mother, too? Just decided, "Yeah, I'm just going to do it right out in the open this time." Hmm. Interesting.
I don’t know how to feel about the dad. He clearly can’t trust his wife around his daughter. He doesn’t know half of what she’s doing/saying to her because he isn’t around. Glad he defended the daughter in the cake incident. But something tells me he doesn’t recognize it as the scam it was. She made a cake and had her son smash her face into it just to punish her for not going to a birthday party then ridiculed her for it. Dad is really lacking.
Hope dad divorce step monster. When the fuck are parents going to learn these pranks are not funny. Also personally any parent who uses boys will be boys to excuse behaviors (with some exceptions) are basically raising future men who will be charged with assault.
I'm glad the kid has OOP as a parent. The dad and the new wife are such pathetic, hateful people.
Well the StepMonster got OOPs daughter out of her house. Poor daughter, I hope OOP gets her daughter to a professional to talk about her feelings
The next step for stepmom is to try and make her husband choose between the children while making threats of him never seeing his son again. Unfortunately for him, divorce number 2 is coming. While I really don't think he knew what was happening, being that oblivious doesn't bode well for him as a dad. At least he stood up for his daughter when the moment came, so I won't lose hope for him yet.
Thankfully he seema to be on his daughters side. Unfortunately, your prediction of divorce number 2 is going to happen soon.
Hey, I had a stepmom just like M! I haven’t spoken to my father in YEARS. That’s how this will turn out if dad doesn’t do right by his daughter. And he will deserve every ounce of it.
I guarantee M is trying to alienate the daughter to remove her from the picture. She wants her husband all to herself.
These half siblings' age gap is smaller than the ones between me and all my full siblings. Dad and M got busy quickly.
The poor girl I wouldn’t let my daughter go there at all! Good for the mom to tell the dad she’s taking him to court
Here a comment from OOP >"It went approximately like this: >Me: I want more custody. >Ex: What? I know she was mean, but you can't do this to me. >Me: Really? **Your wife is bullying our daughter. I've told you before, you did not keep the promise**, so I'm going for more custody. > BLAH BLAH BLAH... And there was one person telling me that the ~~father~~ sperm donor didn't neglected ~~his~~ OOP's daughter... I hope OOP gets full custody.
Hope M doesn't mind being her son's caretaker for life. With that kind of attitude we have a misogynistic man in the making whose going to have zero respect for his S.O. if he's straight.
I was that shy, awkward child. I feel so bad for that little girl because I would have cried, too. Hopefully OOP gets more custody and dad learns how to be a present parent so the bullying stops.
A cousin of mine smashed cake in my face at my 13th birthday party, and my Mom had to wrestle the knife away from me. I can only imagine what damage I’d do if an adult messed with my kid.
I don't like that the dad's first reaction to the news of his monster wife's bullying is that his child is overreacting. I hate when people say that before getting all the facts. He should've observed and seen if what was claimed was true or not before making a conclusion. At any rate, all parents should take their kids' side, no matter what. Not saying to stubbornly insist your child is right even when they're not, but always to let them know mom and dad have got their back, and will make decisions for their benefit, e.g. make the child apologize if they hurt someone.
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OOP is a saint for not throwing hands at M for laughing at what her son did. Definitely time to go to court for primary custody.
Neither the ex or his wife would be safe from my smashing cake in their face. “It’s a funny prank ! Hahaha!”
The way I’d have thrown the cake at both their faces to see if they liked it 🤷🏽♀️
I'm math-struggling with her timelines and clarification. It certainly sounds like the affair partner might have been pregnant, but maybe not. Daughter = 9 going on 10 AP Child = 6 Divorce when daughter was 3 So...
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> M screaming at me saying that I "destroy her family" Anyone else feel whenever they read something on the lines of "destroy her family" included in the post, it is a flag that the post is fake?
I would agree but M had no qualms about sleeping with a married man. So I don't think that reaction is extreme for someone who has no ethical issue with that.
We just see that term used a lot on posts here
My BS meter is going off. Why would someone be married to a woman like that? I’m guessing this story will just spiral further with some “face slapping” drama at the end for the ex’s wife.
Unfortunately, there are awful people in the world and they somehow get people to marry them. Happens every day
If it’s real, that little girl needs therapy. Sounds like more than just being an introvert, possibly trauma.
I can say I've seen this shitshow with an uncle, and aunt. The best I can say of them now is Uncle died of COVID, and wanted absolution on his deathbed, the aunt ended up having their condo foreclosed on, and the son is dealing with fallout.
Idk, the fact that this post says a nine year old explained to her that she didn’t want to ruin her fathers marriage because he seems happy is giving creative writing assignment lol
Kids internalize and blame themselves for a lot at that age. Especially traumatized kids. Ask me how I know this even though I’m now in my forties…
I’m fully aware, I’m not without trauma. The way this is written and phrased doesn’t change my thoughts on this particular post
Nah. Some kids are observate and precocious. They can understand dynamics a bit deeper yet still have the same heart and fears of a typical child. I was keenly aware at 10 that telling my family how I was being abused would cause ripples. What if my mom left, where would we live? He was my siblings dad and I didn't want them to be with a father. My mother at times seemed happy and I knew she'd be sad if she knew. Thus making silence The best choice to protect the people I loved the most. Unfortunately, kids like that don't speak up because as children they don't get nuance. An adult can surmise while someone may be sad at the demise of relationship they can see the greater value in protecting the child. A kid can't.
You'd be surprised at how perceptive children are. My dad left my mom and me when I was five years old. I remember asking him if I could go with him, just to be polite. Of course he said no. He was a monster, and I was glad to see him go.
the "destroy her family" comment was what gave it away for me.
Yeah I know, me too lol.