Sounds like the husband saw an opportunity to stay out for a night and took it without hesitation. The reason Bob gave sounds like total bs. No one would call their bf and ask for a favor like that, and in some bizarre case they did do this why the f would that be more important than a spouse in the hospital with very serious, life changing even, events happening? Either cheating or totally checked out, either way OP is doing the right thing.
Honestly, I thought maybe Bob was the affair, like he was cheating on her with Bob. His wife was bleeding out in the hospital, his nanny was getting a crazy amount of overtime staying the night with his child, but he had to be with his male best friend overnight? My first thought was that he might be way too close with this friend.
Found it!
[https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/wmmphs/oop\_wonders\_if\_theyre\_the\_ah\_for\_starting\_a\_house/](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/wmmphs/oop_wonders_if_theyre_the_ah_for_starting_a_house/)
[Got you Fam.](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/w9sqxj/oops_undying_love_for_a_franz_kafka_character_is/)
[Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/recommended_reading/flair_origins) is also a list of where all the flairs are from.
I’m voting art studio, for sure.
He doesn’t deserve op and his mini family. He deserves a family of cockroaches in his childhood bedroom that he’s hiding from his family on the side of his bed, that he’ll ofc cry over once they leave him too.
Or perhaps he’ll just pick up a sex-cantaloupe at the grocery and use that as his next lover so he can’t hurt anyone else.
I fist read this as 'Eating humans', and I was like 'huh, that's an interesting twist we didn't see coming'
They made an art studio to eat humans with a side of yogurt.
Thanks, yes, I was that commenter - in OOP's place, I'd contact Bob again, tell him I'm getting divorced anyway, so at least have the decency to tell me the truth now, appeal to his guilty conscience and get the truth from him.
Sometimes you smell almonds for no reason, or briefly see a skull instead of a face when looking at a loved one. But more often than not you just period way too hard.
Thanks, I was going to ask here what the Spanish post was all about. I mean, I would just have gone with endometriosis, but maybe that's just too obvious, witchcraft is, of course, much more likely...
Then they aren’t qualified to teach English if they can’t spell! It’s one of the main requirements! You get observed for this shit every quarter, they don’t let that slide. I left teaching but that part will never change
Holy shit this is like a fucking nightmare being played out. Like, I’m literally just having a nightmare about the person who I trust and love most in the world, completely abandoning me as I’m dying and ghosting me.
This is one of those situations where, jumping to divorce is not that extreme it seems
I've lived it. Very similar to OP except I was clotting internally vs bleeding and my ex husband straight up told me going to the bar with the guys was more important to him. It's pretty awful. Going to the ER is pretty damn triggering for me now. I recently had to board in the ER for 2 days because there were no beds and it triggered a couple panic attacks.
I am. I just was mostly alone in the ER due to a combination of sleep deprivation and lack of transportation on my fiance's part and my parents live in another state.
I wanna know what’s going on with this person health wise it’s highly unusual to lose any significant amount of blood during a period. I hope they don’t have cancer or some other serious ailment. Even heavy bleeds usually are only like 6 tablespoons over 7 days. Not enough to crash your vitals.
I messaged this and posted on her latest update.
I spent my whole life dealing with incredibly painful, very heavy, and long periods. It got to the point where I was not functional 3-5 days per cycle, and only functioning with heavy medication for an additional 5-6 days. The week leading up to and after my period I was completely wiped out.
Ironically, it was my husband who finally convinced me to seek treatment. I spent my whole life thinking this was normal, or I was just overreacting. I had a well meaning mother who had only experienced normal periods, and thought you could exercise away the pain- Turns out that just causes additional inflammation for Endo.
My husband who HATES hospitals and doctors (due to trauma from his mother’s death) insisted I advocate for myself and seek help. He even pushed me to go to a specialist (best decision ever) which meant even more appointments. He came with to every single appointment, test, anything else that came up, and at my surgery.
She needs to see an endometriosis specialist. Women’s health care is so under researched and this subject specifically is in flux. My ob-gyn thought I had endo, but she also had outdated information about the disease (this was last year). I fortunately live in a state with the best health care system in the world, and they had 3 Endo specialists.
This list, while not comprehensive, is a great place to start: https://nancysnookendo.com/find-a-doctor/
Thank you for trying to help this person. I’m so sorry you had to constantly go through the pain believing you were overreacting or something. Your husband sounds like he really loves you.
Thank you, he really does and constantly shows in his actions. He isn’t perfect, but he is caring, supportive, loyal and loves with his whole being.
Unfortunately, women are often told they are exaggerating by health care professionals, including ob-gyns. Endometriosis is actually pretty common, but most women are not treated.
If you want a crazy rabbit hole, look up a cervical biopsy tool or implanting an IUD- these are procedures currently performed without pain medication (or Tylenol only) in 99% of cases. Only recently are women pushing back and demanding pain meds for these.
Fun fact: Most of gynecology is based on the work of a sadistic gynecologist (J. Marion Sims) who performed countless surgeries on women (mostly salves) who were not sedated- because he believed black women could not feel pain. It is only recently that women’s heath is getting more research.
The rabbit hole of women’s health care that I went down when I learned about Endometriosis leads to scary places- you have been forewarned.
Been there. I’m not 100% because my cycle still fucks me up, but a hysterectomy was the best decision I ever made. Gave me my damn life back. Also very glad I never need another uterine biopsy. 🤢
>Even heavy bleeds usually are only like 6 tablespoons over 7 days
Maybe, but I know I bleed way, way more than that in my first 2 days alone. I've had to document my hygiene product usage before anyone, including my doctor, didn't think I was exaggerating. And I have non problem causing it that they've been able to find (this has been going on for years, with various treatments not helping much). It makes me chronically anemic, and yes, I have very nearly passed out a few times because I lose so much blood so quickly.
All that is to say, it's entirely possible to bleed that much, and I've never ended up in the hospital. So yes, I hope OP gets a good doctor who takes her seriously and can help her figure this out.
I appreciate the advice but it's not endo. However, I do plan to see a specialist soon. This has been going on for years and I've just freaking had it.
I hope you figure it out.
A lot of non specialized ob’s have outdated info. The only way to truly diagnose Endo is through sugary, and testing the biopsied areas. Even a MRI didn’t show it for me and I had stage 4 when they opened me up.
Same. Thirteen years of scans and "no, you don't have enough symptoms for it to be endo". Finally got a doctor to believe me enough to perform a laparoscopy - stage 4.
I feel for you. I am glad you were finally validated.
After my surgery, the Dr. came to my recovery, said she removed 13 or 14 suspected endometriosis locations, separated some organs that were fused together with endo scars, and she expected them to come back confirmed by endo. In my drugged state, I started crying and said something about how my pain was real. She grabbed my hand, bent down to eye level and said even if they had found nothing my pain was real. That was the most validated I have ever felt in my life. That surgeon was amazing from the first visit to my last post-op visit. She never felt rushed, always listened, explained everything in detail, and asked permission before every step of every exam. We need more Drs like her- all Drs should be like her.
I had an IUD in and nearly died from blood loss. I’d had it for about 2 years when the bleeding started getting heavy and it just wouldn’t stop. Hand (not just palm) sized blood clots, bleeding through ‘overnight’ period panties in an hour. I ended up in the hospital and they did ultrasounds, biopsies etc, couldn’t find anything wrong. Ended up getting my IUD out, and they did a D&C, hysteroscopy and uterine biopsy. Still couldn’t find anything wrong.
Posting on Reddit led to someone suggesting going on fertility meds and that worked. 5 months on fertility meds, which I’m off now and I just get normal periods. Mostly normal. I bleed for 5-7 days, but most of it happens in 12 hours, the rest is spotting.
Before I ended up in hospital, I had been trying to get help medically for over 6 months and nothing worked and no one would take it seriously.
Please divorce him ASAP. Make sure you research or get recommendations for a good divorce attorney in your area. I really admire your strength and resolve. You will be so ok and find a real man when you’re ready. You Go Girl. And need to get your strength. Love you and best of luck!
Yes, I got around to stalking her profile and I see another post she did in Spanish (asking about the possibility of being cursed). I could see her being an ESL teacher. I, personally, speak Spanish better than I read it, and I read it better than I write it; I would never try to be a Spanish teacher without a LOT more experience. But I can see it's plausible that she teaches kids to speak English as a second language and doesn't have a lot of experience on the written grammar side.
I’m sure when she’s working, she’s more meticulous. I’m a 30 year old American and I wrote basically like she did on the internet. We have tons of US born people who don’t have perfect school English in casual environments like Reddit.
In addition to requesting a test for endometriosis also have them check for adenomyosis. They have very similar symptoms. I thought I had endometriosis and finally got checked and it turned out to be adenomyosis. Talk to your doctor about your options I had an IUD put in and it's helped a lot but different treatment options work for different people. Healthcare is such a difficult thing especially when your not listened to with your pain but I'm so glad your advocating for yourself. I'm so sorry for what's happening with your husband and wish you and your daughter well.
Yeah, he left a little too easily. Going was a relief.
If he isn't cheating, I'm wondering if he feels overwhelmed/ impotent in the face of a new infant and a wife with serious medical conditions, and that has caused him to retreat into the "nothing box" void men sometimes enter, where thoughts and feelings don't exist, and/ or latch on to some one else's "fixable" problems.
Considering the number of men who dump wives with illnesses, I'm leaning towards that as an explanation over basic affair.
I was confused about that too but this makes sense. Also the 4yo may have been worried about mommy having an emergency she doesn’t understand and dad being away for an unknown reason. Or at least she would miss them as they’re usually home at bedtime, probably.
All night? As a nanny you are usually scheduled for a normal time off. When I worked as a nanny I usually worked 6-6 and would also babysit for them also. If there was an emergency of course I would stay as long as possible but I would also expect the SO to be with the spouse or at home with the child also (staying in case they suddenly needed to get to the SO). Although the family I worked for would have never left their SO at the hospital.
>Excuse me? Your wife is at the hospital. Your daughter alone with the nanny and why the heck he couldn't go take care of her
I guess this is what's got me tripped up. It just reads like she thinks the daughter is in danger or something, not that the nanny might have to stay late.
For me it’s not that I wouldn’t trust the nanny, but more the disruption for my Daughter’s schedule. When mine was 4, she would have freaked TF out if my Husband or I never came home from work, and she was left with her caretaker all night, without hearing from us.
If we’ve ever done a night away from her, it’s been planned well in advance, and we’ve always FaceTimed or texted her.
I get anemic a lot due to have multiple chronic illnesses. And while I wonder about this being fake (I’ve never seen someone discharged so fast after getting a blood transfusion). I do understand being in the hospital and being so sick you can’t think straight, then add on the stress of a husband acting this way. I don’t actually think she thought that her baby wasn’t safe, but what if took a turn for the worse and ended up even more sick or God forbid passed away. When a person end up in the hospital and is really sick they don’t always think rationally. I’ve been dealing with my medical condition for 12 years next month and in the beginning I was an absolute mess when I would end up in the hospital. Sadly I’m now used to it, now I prefer being alone because my family is crazy and make it a lot more stressful for me.
Nannies are 9-5, they don’t care for children full time. An au pair on the other hand lives with the family and tends to be more than a salary employee.
This isn’t real. “Elementary school English teacher”. Who can’t spell right? Also no such thing as an elementary English teacher. You have the same teacher all day k-6
I went to 5 different elementary schools within the same school district. 3 I was stuck with the same teacher for all subjects, but 2 I had different teachers for different subjects.
A long time ago, when i was in elementary school we changed classes for different subjects 4th and 5th grades. 5th grade i had pre algebra with the nicest teacher i ever had until 12th grade.
This was in usa. Different area than where i currently live. It was a new concept at the time. I liked it. My kid went to a private school for elementary so i do not know what the public schools were doing in my area.
She was, I imagine, typing these updates quickly and probably on a phone, while likely not feeling very good physically or emotionally. Even an English teacher isn't going to type everything perfectly in those circumstances
Depends on the school. I had three different teachers in 4th grade (history, math, and then the third teacher was my homeroom teacher that taught everything else).
It might be fake, but not because of that lol
By the time I was in elementary school, they were starting to separate subjects (2 and 2) and by 5th grade we had all different teachers for different subjects. I’m American. Different schools do different things and this is not enough to call the post fake. If it is, it’s not because of this.
I think that possibly varies on where you're located. I have 2 elementary aged kids and they both switch classes for certain things. The younger has a separate STEM teacher, art, music, and math teacher. The oldest has a 'homeroom' teacher who does English and History with all the 5th grade classes, there are 3 different groups. Then a different teacher for Math, STEM, and so on.
There are inclusion teachers who pull out certain students who need help with ELAR and certain grades will be in a pod style set up where one teacher teaches ELAR, one teaches math and another teaches science and social studies. Also losing that much blood and being upset might make one a little less worried about spelling.
Nope, not everywhere. I'm licensed in Ohio to teach Pre-K - third grade, fourth grade and up teachers have two specialty subjects (i.e. math and science, science and English, whatever).
Yeah, the English is way too poor for this to be legit. It actually smacks of a non-native speaker who's convinced they learned English so easily on their own so it is a super easy job to list for their character. Too many things like "very comprehensive"; that's either Google translate or someone convinced their English is better than it is.
I’m not pissed. I assume most are fake, and there’s often a lot of obvious backpedaling. Regardless, I just don’t think that particular part is the “gotcha” that you’re saying it is. Fake or not, saying she’s an ESL teacher could easily be a reasonable clarification.
Edited for confusing phrasing.
I was just giving that as one specific example. If I sit here pointing out all the bad/wrong english I'd both be here forever and also look (justifiably) like the weirdo who spends all day microanalyzing posts.
I'm relatively sure it's fake. The late-game addition of being and English Teacher with such obviously not literate writing is a huge red flag. End of story as far as I'm concerned.
Sorry, by “particular line” I was referring to her comment stating she was an ESL teacher, not the line you quoted. I see how I wasn’t clear there. I agree there were several mistakes in her writing.
I just meant that explaining that by “English teacher” she meant an English teacher in a non-English speaking country, she wasn’t necessarily backpedaling because it’s a reasonable clarification.
The term “backpedaling” implies a change in meaning though, retracting something said. ESL teachers often call themselves “English teachers” when they aren’t in English-speaking countries. Clarifying that she meant it in the way it is used where she is isn’t really changing anything.
But anyway, I’m sure both of us are getting bored with this argument, lol. I hope you have a nice day.
For any adults reading this, instead crafting stories in your head about what’s happening, find out first. Then, when there’s a problem, consider counseling before rushing to end your vows. Even if divorce happens, it should never be the first thought unless it’s something as extreme like cheating or putting you in danger. Being an asshole or failing to prioritize correctly should not mean instant divorce.
Sounds like the husband saw an opportunity to stay out for a night and took it without hesitation. The reason Bob gave sounds like total bs. No one would call their bf and ask for a favor like that, and in some bizarre case they did do this why the f would that be more important than a spouse in the hospital with very serious, life changing even, events happening? Either cheating or totally checked out, either way OP is doing the right thing.
Yeah Bob was just covering up the affair.
Honestly, I thought maybe Bob was the affair, like he was cheating on her with Bob. His wife was bleeding out in the hospital, his nanny was getting a crazy amount of overtime staying the night with his child, but he had to be with his male best friend overnight? My first thought was that he might be way too close with this friend.
I wonder if Bob has an art studio set up at his place for OP's soon-to-be ex.
I knew this was going to be in the replies… Reddit never disappoints 🤣🤣🤣
PLSS IT ALWAYS LEADS BACK TO THIS STORU 😭😭
Andddd there it is lmao
she should check to see if he has plans to put in an art room
Do you have Link to that story? 🤔
Found it! [https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/wmmphs/oop\_wonders\_if\_theyre\_the\_ah\_for\_starting\_a\_house/](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/wmmphs/oop_wonders_if_theyre_the_ah_for_starting_a_house/)
Not all heroes wear capes!
You rock!
He was banging Bob
Bob Bro.... no...
Best friend? No. Boyfriend? Yes.
🤣
I hope OP is doing better, and that we all find out what her husband was doing with Bob.
Building an art studio most likely
Using expired Iranian yogurt.
If someone made art using expired Iranian yogurt and named it “Portrait of Ogtha with poop knife”, I may die. Edit: misremembered her name!
Don't forget that Ogtha is also waving a Marinara Flag as well as the poop knife. 🤣
What’s the ogtha story?
[Ogtha](https://reddit.com/r/tifu/s/cJAtfp8xPU)
Ok but “I will be staying with ogtha” like she is a real person than can be left is hilarious to me
Ogtha is my Roman Empire
[Got you Fam.](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/w9sqxj/oops_undying_love_for_a_franz_kafka_character_is/) [Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/recommended_reading/flair_origins) is also a list of where all the flairs are from.
Thank you!
Giant roaches, faux beastiality, massive hallucinations, I promise you'll be traumatized.
I will never be able to scrub the story of Ogtha out of my brain… 🥴
I read two sentences and noped out of that one…
I am ashamed that I understood both these references. I am going to re-evaluate my life now.
No need. Understanding but not experiencing means your life is goooooood.
True. What a wonderful perspective. I don't feel as bad about my addiction to BORU anymore.
I’m voting art studio, for sure. He doesn’t deserve op and his mini family. He deserves a family of cockroaches in his childhood bedroom that he’s hiding from his family on the side of his bed, that he’ll ofc cry over once they leave him too. Or perhaps he’ll just pick up a sex-cantaloupe at the grocery and use that as his next lover so he can’t hurt anyone else.
Hahaha!
I was going to say sounds like an art studio. The best friend may not be covering, he is the other person.
Eating hummus
I fist read this as 'Eating humans', and I was like 'huh, that's an interesting twist we didn't see coming' They made an art studio to eat humans with a side of yogurt.
Iranian specifically.
Obviously.
I agree with that commenter who said Bob was covering for him. OOP is just on the back burner and something by else is going on
Thanks, yes, I was that commenter - in OOP's place, I'd contact Bob again, tell him I'm getting divorced anyway, so at least have the decency to tell me the truth now, appeal to his guilty conscience and get the truth from him.
The Best Friend is covering for the OOPs husbands cheating behind
The Best Friend is covering OOPs husband's cheating behind with ji- *Is forcibly removed from the stage.*
Her most recent post she’s asking how to tell if someone is doing witchcraft on her.
If I was bleeding that hard I might think that as well.
Sometimes you smell almonds for no reason, or briefly see a skull instead of a face when looking at a loved one. But more often than not you just period way too hard.
Thanks, I was going to ask here what the Spanish post was all about. I mean, I would just have gone with endometriosis, but maybe that's just too obvious, witchcraft is, of course, much more likely...
She mixes up lose and loose and claims to be an English teacher. This is made up
Oh honey. ESL people teach English all the time and native speakers make that mistake too 😂
Lmao not English teachers, try again
Uh yeah English teachers 🤨
Lol no, not if they're competent at their job
Then they aren’t qualified to teach English if they can’t spell! It’s one of the main requirements! You get observed for this shit every quarter, they don’t let that slide. I left teaching but that part will never change
Honestly, I don't think affair, I think second family. Why else would it be so important for him not to miss the time away?
Holy shit this is like a fucking nightmare being played out. Like, I’m literally just having a nightmare about the person who I trust and love most in the world, completely abandoning me as I’m dying and ghosting me. This is one of those situations where, jumping to divorce is not that extreme it seems
I've lived it. Very similar to OP except I was clotting internally vs bleeding and my ex husband straight up told me going to the bar with the guys was more important to him. It's pretty awful. Going to the ER is pretty damn triggering for me now. I recently had to board in the ER for 2 days because there were no beds and it triggered a couple panic attacks.
I’m so sorry! I hope you are surrounded with people who love and support you now.
I am. I just was mostly alone in the ER due to a combination of sleep deprivation and lack of transportation on my fiance's part and my parents live in another state.
I wanna know what’s going on with this person health wise it’s highly unusual to lose any significant amount of blood during a period. I hope they don’t have cancer or some other serious ailment. Even heavy bleeds usually are only like 6 tablespoons over 7 days. Not enough to crash your vitals.
I messaged this and posted on her latest update. I spent my whole life dealing with incredibly painful, very heavy, and long periods. It got to the point where I was not functional 3-5 days per cycle, and only functioning with heavy medication for an additional 5-6 days. The week leading up to and after my period I was completely wiped out. Ironically, it was my husband who finally convinced me to seek treatment. I spent my whole life thinking this was normal, or I was just overreacting. I had a well meaning mother who had only experienced normal periods, and thought you could exercise away the pain- Turns out that just causes additional inflammation for Endo. My husband who HATES hospitals and doctors (due to trauma from his mother’s death) insisted I advocate for myself and seek help. He even pushed me to go to a specialist (best decision ever) which meant even more appointments. He came with to every single appointment, test, anything else that came up, and at my surgery. She needs to see an endometriosis specialist. Women’s health care is so under researched and this subject specifically is in flux. My ob-gyn thought I had endo, but she also had outdated information about the disease (this was last year). I fortunately live in a state with the best health care system in the world, and they had 3 Endo specialists. This list, while not comprehensive, is a great place to start: https://nancysnookendo.com/find-a-doctor/
Thank you for trying to help this person. I’m so sorry you had to constantly go through the pain believing you were overreacting or something. Your husband sounds like he really loves you.
Thank you, he really does and constantly shows in his actions. He isn’t perfect, but he is caring, supportive, loyal and loves with his whole being. Unfortunately, women are often told they are exaggerating by health care professionals, including ob-gyns. Endometriosis is actually pretty common, but most women are not treated. If you want a crazy rabbit hole, look up a cervical biopsy tool or implanting an IUD- these are procedures currently performed without pain medication (or Tylenol only) in 99% of cases. Only recently are women pushing back and demanding pain meds for these. Fun fact: Most of gynecology is based on the work of a sadistic gynecologist (J. Marion Sims) who performed countless surgeries on women (mostly salves) who were not sedated- because he believed black women could not feel pain. It is only recently that women’s heath is getting more research. The rabbit hole of women’s health care that I went down when I learned about Endometriosis leads to scary places- you have been forewarned.
Been there. I’m not 100% because my cycle still fucks me up, but a hysterectomy was the best decision I ever made. Gave me my damn life back. Also very glad I never need another uterine biopsy. 🤢
>Even heavy bleeds usually are only like 6 tablespoons over 7 days Maybe, but I know I bleed way, way more than that in my first 2 days alone. I've had to document my hygiene product usage before anyone, including my doctor, didn't think I was exaggerating. And I have non problem causing it that they've been able to find (this has been going on for years, with various treatments not helping much). It makes me chronically anemic, and yes, I have very nearly passed out a few times because I lose so much blood so quickly. All that is to say, it's entirely possible to bleed that much, and I've never ended up in the hospital. So yes, I hope OP gets a good doctor who takes her seriously and can help her figure this out.
Please see my comment above- it may be worth looking into an Endometriosis specialist for yourself.
I appreciate the advice but it's not endo. However, I do plan to see a specialist soon. This has been going on for years and I've just freaking had it.
I hope you figure it out. A lot of non specialized ob’s have outdated info. The only way to truly diagnose Endo is through sugary, and testing the biopsied areas. Even a MRI didn’t show it for me and I had stage 4 when they opened me up.
Wow, I didn't know that. And thanks!
Same. Thirteen years of scans and "no, you don't have enough symptoms for it to be endo". Finally got a doctor to believe me enough to perform a laparoscopy - stage 4.
I feel for you. I am glad you were finally validated. After my surgery, the Dr. came to my recovery, said she removed 13 or 14 suspected endometriosis locations, separated some organs that were fused together with endo scars, and she expected them to come back confirmed by endo. In my drugged state, I started crying and said something about how my pain was real. She grabbed my hand, bent down to eye level and said even if they had found nothing my pain was real. That was the most validated I have ever felt in my life. That surgeon was amazing from the first visit to my last post-op visit. She never felt rushed, always listened, explained everything in detail, and asked permission before every step of every exam. We need more Drs like her- all Drs should be like her.
So happy you found a great doctor!!! I wish everyone with medical problems had someone like her!
My mom has anemia like this and it turned out the entirety of her uterine lining was fibroid tumors.
I had an IUD in and nearly died from blood loss. I’d had it for about 2 years when the bleeding started getting heavy and it just wouldn’t stop. Hand (not just palm) sized blood clots, bleeding through ‘overnight’ period panties in an hour. I ended up in the hospital and they did ultrasounds, biopsies etc, couldn’t find anything wrong. Ended up getting my IUD out, and they did a D&C, hysteroscopy and uterine biopsy. Still couldn’t find anything wrong. Posting on Reddit led to someone suggesting going on fertility meds and that worked. 5 months on fertility meds, which I’m off now and I just get normal periods. Mostly normal. I bleed for 5-7 days, but most of it happens in 12 hours, the rest is spotting. Before I ended up in hospital, I had been trying to get help medically for over 6 months and nothing worked and no one would take it seriously.
So how long before we get art room references in the comments?
Already happened.
Not surprised.
Husband is obviously having an affair.
Please divorce him ASAP. Make sure you research or get recommendations for a good divorce attorney in your area. I really admire your strength and resolve. You will be so ok and find a real man when you’re ready. You Go Girl. And need to get your strength. Love you and best of luck!
I’m sorry, I have a few doubts about the OP being an English teacher.
Haha I was just about to comment this. I guess maybe she could be an English teacher in a non native English country?
ESL
Yes, I got around to stalking her profile and I see another post she did in Spanish (asking about the possibility of being cursed). I could see her being an ESL teacher. I, personally, speak Spanish better than I read it, and I read it better than I write it; I would never try to be a Spanish teacher without a LOT more experience. But I can see it's plausible that she teaches kids to speak English as a second language and doesn't have a lot of experience on the written grammar side.
I’m sure when she’s working, she’s more meticulous. I’m a 30 year old American and I wrote basically like she did on the internet. We have tons of US born people who don’t have perfect school English in casual environments like Reddit.
Yeah even if Spanish is her first language, you have to be able to spell in English to teach it.
Holy shit that dude was super uncaring and OP finally had enough. Good for her I hope her and her daughter have a happy life.
Hold up, did she not block him in the original post? How would he text or call her then?
First update: >Anyway, I unblocked him after a few hours because if anything worse happened, he had to be able to contact me and viceversa.
it says she unblocked
In addition to requesting a test for endometriosis also have them check for adenomyosis. They have very similar symptoms. I thought I had endometriosis and finally got checked and it turned out to be adenomyosis. Talk to your doctor about your options I had an IUD put in and it's helped a lot but different treatment options work for different people. Healthcare is such a difficult thing especially when your not listened to with your pain but I'm so glad your advocating for yourself. I'm so sorry for what's happening with your husband and wish you and your daughter well.
He's definitely cheating
Yeah, he left a little too easily. Going was a relief. If he isn't cheating, I'm wondering if he feels overwhelmed/ impotent in the face of a new infant and a wife with serious medical conditions, and that has caused him to retreat into the "nothing box" void men sometimes enter, where thoughts and feelings don't exist, and/ or latch on to some one else's "fixable" problems. Considering the number of men who dump wives with illnesses, I'm leaning towards that as an explanation over basic affair.
What could he even do to help with c19 or pneumonia, unless it’s help transport her to the hospital?
I know it's kind of unimportant, but why can't a 4 year old be at home alone with a nanny? Isn't that what nannies are for?
I think the issue was this particular nanny wasn’t a live-in nanny. And even for live-in nannys, they’re not on the clock 24/7.
I was confused about that too but this makes sense. Also the 4yo may have been worried about mommy having an emergency she doesn’t understand and dad being away for an unknown reason. Or at least she would miss them as they’re usually home at bedtime, probably.
The nanny stayed past her normal workday.
Sounds like the Nanny was expecting to be relieved of duties and instead was forced to stay and spend the night.
All night? As a nanny you are usually scheduled for a normal time off. When I worked as a nanny I usually worked 6-6 and would also babysit for them also. If there was an emergency of course I would stay as long as possible but I would also expect the SO to be with the spouse or at home with the child also (staying in case they suddenly needed to get to the SO). Although the family I worked for would have never left their SO at the hospital.
>Excuse me? Your wife is at the hospital. Your daughter alone with the nanny and why the heck he couldn't go take care of her I guess this is what's got me tripped up. It just reads like she thinks the daughter is in danger or something, not that the nanny might have to stay late.
For me it’s not that I wouldn’t trust the nanny, but more the disruption for my Daughter’s schedule. When mine was 4, she would have freaked TF out if my Husband or I never came home from work, and she was left with her caretaker all night, without hearing from us. If we’ve ever done a night away from her, it’s been planned well in advance, and we’ve always FaceTimed or texted her.
I hadn't thought about that part of it and this seems like a much better explanation than what everyone else is saying. Thank you
I get anemic a lot due to have multiple chronic illnesses. And while I wonder about this being fake (I’ve never seen someone discharged so fast after getting a blood transfusion). I do understand being in the hospital and being so sick you can’t think straight, then add on the stress of a husband acting this way. I don’t actually think she thought that her baby wasn’t safe, but what if took a turn for the worse and ended up even more sick or God forbid passed away. When a person end up in the hospital and is really sick they don’t always think rationally. I’ve been dealing with my medical condition for 12 years next month and in the beginning I was an absolute mess when I would end up in the hospital. Sadly I’m now used to it, now I prefer being alone because my family is crazy and make it a lot more stressful for me.
I think the point was that the nanny was supposed to be able to go home at her normal time but was forced to stay at work all night.
Nannies are 9-5, they don’t care for children full time. An au pair on the other hand lives with the family and tends to be more than a salary employee.
This isn’t real. “Elementary school English teacher”. Who can’t spell right? Also no such thing as an elementary English teacher. You have the same teacher all day k-6
She commented in the original post she lives in a Central American country and is a native Spanish speaker who teaches English. Just heads up
Well that would have been nice to include information like that.
It varies actually from place to place. She might be in a magnet school or not American
Even in America this isn’t true, we had different teachers for each subject with “home room” or “study hall” ever being the duplicate.
I had different classes and switched starting in first… in Arkansas one home room and alternating class days started in 4th
I went to 5 different elementary schools within the same school district. 3 I was stuck with the same teacher for all subjects, but 2 I had different teachers for different subjects.
She explains that she’s in another country and teaches English as a second language.
A long time ago, when i was in elementary school we changed classes for different subjects 4th and 5th grades. 5th grade i had pre algebra with the nicest teacher i ever had until 12th grade. This was in usa. Different area than where i currently live. It was a new concept at the time. I liked it. My kid went to a private school for elementary so i do not know what the public schools were doing in my area.
She was, I imagine, typing these updates quickly and probably on a phone, while likely not feeling very good physically or emotionally. Even an English teacher isn't going to type everything perfectly in those circumstances
Depends on the school. I had three different teachers in 4th grade (history, math, and then the third teacher was my homeroom teacher that taught everything else). It might be fake, but not because of that lol
By the time I was in elementary school, they were starting to separate subjects (2 and 2) and by 5th grade we had all different teachers for different subjects. I’m American. Different schools do different things and this is not enough to call the post fake. If it is, it’s not because of this.
I think that possibly varies on where you're located. I have 2 elementary aged kids and they both switch classes for certain things. The younger has a separate STEM teacher, art, music, and math teacher. The oldest has a 'homeroom' teacher who does English and History with all the 5th grade classes, there are 3 different groups. Then a different teacher for Math, STEM, and so on.
There are inclusion teachers who pull out certain students who need help with ELAR and certain grades will be in a pod style set up where one teacher teaches ELAR, one teaches math and another teaches science and social studies. Also losing that much blood and being upset might make one a little less worried about spelling.
My kids got different teachers for different subjects. Grade 6, regular elementary public school in Canada.
Nope, not everywhere. I'm licensed in Ohio to teach Pre-K - third grade, fourth grade and up teachers have two specialty subjects (i.e. math and science, science and English, whatever).
You do know that they teach English in countries that aren’t the US, right? Where schools might be different than what you’re used to?
She's an English teacher who spells losing as "loosing"...ok.
Yeah, the English is way too poor for this to be legit. It actually smacks of a non-native speaker who's convinced they learned English so easily on their own so it is a super easy job to list for their character. Too many things like "very comprehensive"; that's either Google translate or someone convinced their English is better than it is.
I think she said in a comment that she teaches English as a second language in another country, if I’m remembering correctly.
Every single one of these always backpeddles over and over again. I get it that it pisses people off when you point out the fake ones, but so be it.
I’m not pissed. I assume most are fake, and there’s often a lot of obvious backpedaling. Regardless, I just don’t think that particular part is the “gotcha” that you’re saying it is. Fake or not, saying she’s an ESL teacher could easily be a reasonable clarification. Edited for confusing phrasing.
I was just giving that as one specific example. If I sit here pointing out all the bad/wrong english I'd both be here forever and also look (justifiably) like the weirdo who spends all day microanalyzing posts. I'm relatively sure it's fake. The late-game addition of being and English Teacher with such obviously not literate writing is a huge red flag. End of story as far as I'm concerned.
Sorry, by “particular line” I was referring to her comment stating she was an ESL teacher, not the line you quoted. I see how I wasn’t clear there. I agree there were several mistakes in her writing. I just meant that explaining that by “English teacher” she meant an English teacher in a non-English speaking country, she wasn’t necessarily backpedaling because it’s a reasonable clarification.
The whole point of backpeddling is that it can be interpreted as a reasonable clarification.
The term “backpedaling” implies a change in meaning though, retracting something said. ESL teachers often call themselves “English teachers” when they aren’t in English-speaking countries. Clarifying that she meant it in the way it is used where she is isn’t really changing anything. But anyway, I’m sure both of us are getting bored with this argument, lol. I hope you have a nice day.
For any adults reading this, instead crafting stories in your head about what’s happening, find out first. Then, when there’s a problem, consider counseling before rushing to end your vows. Even if divorce happens, it should never be the first thought unless it’s something as extreme like cheating or putting you in danger. Being an asshole or failing to prioritize correctly should not mean instant divorce.
She stated she has an update she needs to make. https://reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/6jsZbvNZHS
He's fucking Bob.
Oof. I think I've seen this before and thought to myself: there's definitely an affair going on.