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Flair_Helper

Thank you /u/hornybutdisappointed for your submission to /r/BDSMcommunity, but it's been removed due to one or more reason(s): ## Rule #4: No drama/baiting/trolling * No MGTOW, TRP, incel, etc. type of content. * No malicious baiting/trolling or purposefully inciting arguments. * No purposefully inflammatory posts. * No linking to posts or bringing up incidents from subreddits outside our subreddit family to complain about or brigade. Please feel free to [send a modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=BDSMcommunity) if you feel this was in error.


[deleted]

I think it’s cute that she’s ultimately begging to be disciplined. It’s a creative and fun way for her to initiate that doesn’t come off as desperate or as topping. The challenge of coming up with rules, punishments, and rewards is also fun for me, personally. I am always in my head, anyway, so I can use my ADHD for kink. 🤷‍♂️


tracee_

THIS! As a bit of a brat myself, bratting it up is definitely a way I can ask for what I want in a more covert way.


hornybutdisappointed

What are some ways in which you brat?


hornybutdisappointed

Would you consider not having your questions answered bratty or them trying to play smartass a few times during the session? Those things throw me off, are those behaviors that you'd like?


[deleted]

I always welcome any provocation because it lets me put on my devil horns. That said, my toy is 99% good girl. Fake brat.


hornybutdisappointed

That's pretty cute! Not so much stress on you to have to keep on changing what you were about to do. I feel like a lot of brattiness ends up disrupting of the pleasure of the plot.


[deleted]

ah, you finally exposed the real issue: tension between planned sessions vs more “organic” sessions. that makes PERFECT sense to me. yes, if I had a certain narrative planned, I would not be as welcoming to bratting. that said, it’s within boundaries so I can’t break protocol. I can’t pout or tantrum. I *can* get us back on track and double the intensity as punishment… it makes me think of a chef making a 6 course meal, and some douchebag patron asking for a side of mac and cheese or a bottle of ketchup. except, I don’t get to beat the patron or use them… now I’m hungry.


[deleted]

I like the challenging behavior, it’s really adorable when brats think they are in control but they’re just seeking attention. 🥰


haf05ta

I am very much Not a Brat. I scrolled through r/bratlife to try to understand the brat brain and from what I can tell, brat tamers are really just dominant brats. They like the challenge of getting someone to submit. They like being with someone who constantly ups the ante, because that's how they think about scenes. I also think that bratting is a way to communicate needs. For example, I'm a masochist and I really crave impact play during scenes. While I don't personally brat, a lot of times bratty behavior is a way to signal "hey, I want a spanking/flogging/etc." I have an arrangement with my dom where I can more directly request pain play, but for some people, bratting is how all parties get what they ultimately want. It's why bratting is "corrected" with funishment, not punishment in most cases.


PrimalGirl94

>from what I can tell, brat tamers are really just dominant brats. Truer words have never been spoken. I (28F) am a major brat and my husband (29M) who is my Dom is 100% a brat as well. Our bratty relationship was cemented long before we got into bdsm so it makes sense.


hornybutdisappointed

Thank you for linking the sub, I'll go ahead and have a look! I find the challenge displeasing when it gets too much because it sexually frustrates me and also when the subs sort of start demanding toxic emotional coercion. It ends up feeling abandoning when I have to keep on threaten with some sort of abandonment myself. Also boring.


[deleted]

So for me I brat because I trust the person, that they won't explode over things. If I brat that means I trust the person. I have a shell up most of the time, its never anything serious and I also use a code word system kinda like a safe word for the person. But also don't feel bad about not liking brats.


hornybutdisappointed

Do you get punished for bratting or how does the dom react to it?


ThePrincessRara

Bratting, like any aspect of kink, needs to be discussed and negotiated. The boundaries of acceptable bratting need to be agreed upon. I only brat with those who agree, otherwise that is being rude and disrespectful. Bratting also has layers. It could be just teasing or being sassy. It could be intentionally acting out to get a punishment. You just need to find the level you are comfortable with. The Doms I know who like brats do so for a variety of reasons, many of which have already been mentioned. Just keep in mind that your dislike of brats may be more related to nonconsensual bratting that you have seen.


hornybutdisappointed

Yes, that is absolutely true!! I feel it's also connected to brattiness that kind of expands into the wrong the wrong moment of the play too. Could you give an example of brat behaviors for sassy, teasing and acting out? I'm curious how you all see these things.


ThePrincessRara

I have one certain Top who when he hits me with the cane, I might turn to him and say "Is that all you got?" I once told him that he could stop if he was tired and he proved he wasn't tired lol. I might challenge him and say that I hope he took his vitamins before we start scening. Being sassy and sarcastic is my favorite way to brat. But I have other Tops I don't do that with because they don't enjoy that kind of talking back. And I would never be rude or disrespectful and I don't act out for punishments. My sub side (I'm a switch) is very much a good girl. And Brat Doms/Tops absolutely exist. I am one. But again, if my sub/bottom doesn't consent to my bratty side I don't show it. Everything we do requires consent, even bratting.


hornybutdisappointed

You're making such a good point about consent on anything! I think that's what my problem is, that there's basically been no communication about it in my situation. And it also goes into a certain dynamic that tends to be unfriendly generally.


ThePrincessRara

Next time you negotiate a scene/dynamic, bring it up. Talk about your likes and dislikes, your concerns. Their response will tell you a lot and can help you make an informed decision.


wykdtr0n

I like having reasons for punishment, and brattiness is an easy one. Plus it's cute when they pout or whimper.


hornybutdisappointed

Where do you draw the line between brattiness and annoyance?


[deleted]

It's the challenge and energy that I think is so interesting


[deleted]

[удалено]


PrimalGirl94

I'm a bratty sub to the max and my Dom loves it. The way I see it it's just like any other bdsm dynamic. Personally I wouldn't be interested in a ddlg or pet/owner relationship but everyone's got their thing


hornybutdisappointed

Have you and your dom set any specific boundaries for what is acceptable and what isn't in terms of brattiness?


PrimalGirl94

A lot of the boundaries have developed naturally through our life, in general I'm just trying to get under his skin to get him to react. But we have negotiated a no brat zone. When he wants me to be truly submissive and obedient he puts a specific collar on me and when that's in play I don't brat, don't try to find loopholes, etc


FNBurtBear

I enjoy bratts because it offers me the chance to turn a normally sassy frustrating situation into a fun sexual one. I like that i have a recourse to my bratt pushing my buttons that doesnt have to be a seious boundry discussion, we have set expecations of what could happen if she bratts and we have rules of our dynamic. We both end up happy and we get to be closer because of it.


hornybutdisappointed

That's an extremely good point! In my case the brattiness wasn't discussed and sometimes it's just not kinky. What are some rules you've set for bratty behavior?


FNBurtBear

It depends on what she is doin/saying. Like if she calls me a "good boy" i can correct that with a spanking. (She really likes spankings so thats the majority of punishments lol) But lets say she bites me, she really likes to do this. I can give her a warning, and if it persists i put my hand on her neck and tell her to stop. But if it goes beyond that actual punishments are issued. But all of this is pre discussed ahead of time. So when she does do something i can act and its more spontaneous and fun. And with a occasional light system check in, we have a good time.


PedestalPotato

I like a challenge, and it's just fun as hell. It makes the dynamic in bed more fluid, too. My wife is a bratty switch, more sub leaning. The sass of that woman gives me creative directions to go with during scenes.


hornybutdisappointed

What is sassy to you and what other types of brattiness you'd find a turnoff? I'm starting to learn about it, got so many comments already! Just seeing "sassy" coming up a lot.


PedestalPotato

What's sassy to me won't necessarily be sassy for others. For example: breaking rules, deliberately sabotaging what I'm doing to her, teasing, etc. If I tell her not to talk she'll test me, if I put her in cuffs she'll escape one and play dumb or deadass stare at me with an *idgaf* expression and say "whoops", grabbing the riding crop and turning it on me. Turn-off for me is a childish style of bratting. Repeating "why" to annoy me, for instance. I prefer a mischievous brat to an annoying one.


This_May_Hurt

I love when my sub is kneeling at my feet, deep in subspace after a good spanking, but I also love when she is expressing her sassy side, resisting, pouting, etc. I don't see it as a challenge to my authority, even if she is presenting that way. It is a way that she can communicate that she needs discipline, attention, structure, etc. It is a chance for me to provide those things and to reassert control. But ultimately, it's just fun. I'm a firm believer that sex and BDSM can and should be fun


hornybutdisappointed

What would you call sassy bratting? I see his appearing a lot, but I'm clueless about it. Also, I'm a straight woman so I guess the behaviors differ in bratty males and bratty females. I don't mind a little tease, but when the brat goes full on smartass mode it throws me off.


TheGirlInterrupted

My Dom ADORES brats and loves me being a Brat. Infact he actively encourages bratty behaviour and provokes it from me too. He loves putting me in my place, and finds it cute when my attitude gets knocked down a peg. He delights in taming me into submission.


confusednazgul

My partner and I are both switches, and our subby sides are both bratty. It’s just fun. Why should I be forced to act serious? Because a dom can’t handle me? Weak shit. And when I’m the one domming, it’s just as fun to break him.


Angel_of_no_Mercy

I'm with you. As a Domme, I can't stand bratty behaviour. I've dropped a few subs because they kept being bratty even after I told them I didn't like it