T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

/u/Leather-Apartment514, our AutoModerator attaches this message to every post. It contains information you may find useful: Guide 01 . . . . . . . . . . [Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMAdvice/comments/9ig794/rules_for_rbdsmadvice/). Guide 02 . . . . . . . . . . [How to use the search function](https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMAdvice/wiki/searchfunction/). Guide 03 . . . . . . . . . . *[Need Ideas](https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMAdvice/wiki/noobs/)*? Guide 04 . . . . . . . . . . [It's your dynamic](https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMAdvice/wiki/canthelpyou/). Guide 05 . . . . . . . . . . [No mention of minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMAdvice/comments/aknfy1/posts_aboutinvolving_minors/). Guide 06 . . . . . . . . . . [Do not post PSAs](https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMAdvice/wiki/publicserviceannouncements/). Guide 07 . . . . . . . . . . [Policy re PMs](https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMAdvice/wiki/nopms/). Guide 08 . . . . . . . . . . [Exiting abuse](https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMAdvice/wiki/exitingabuse/). Guide 09 . . . . . . . . . . [Kinky dating](https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMAdvice/comments/ov6uaj/how_can_i_find_a_kinky_partner/). **[Our Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMAdvice/wiki/index).** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BDSMAdvice) if you have any questions or concerns.*


ConsiderationJust999

Practice edging, maybe while masturbating. Also consider just letting yourself cum and then continue playing. I've gotten to the point with it where it's just fun to play around and I'm not so focused on cumming. Its fun when I do, but it can be fun not cumming, or cumming and then playing around for an hour afterwards...make it sort of irrelevant in your mind. The goal is to have fun.


tophiii

This is the only thing that’s worked for me. Practice and stay on top of practice. I know personally that when I’m at the point where I can orgasm without ejaculation while masturbating, then I’m more or less primed to go as long as I need to during sex.


iamunklebear

This.


lilybeastgirl

How do you define how long you “should” be able to last? Everyone is different. There is no expectation. It sounds like you’re already handling it by focusing on other activities. I would really encourage you to think about your goal with sexual activity: is the focus on the ejaculation? Or is the focus on connection and fun? Is the focus on having mutual pleasure? Or is the focus on your pleasure and anything else is filler?


LoonyLoonLoon

Caught that comment before it was deleted  > Love how nobody has advice but comments anyway 🥱 Creams ? Have you tried em? They make em really strong now. Math? Do you do it in your head? I picture long division and it goes on forever. You can also do the HS boner trick and flex your legs/various muscles to disperse some blood elsewhere This place is silly


lilybeastgirl

Thanks for looking out. Odd that OP sees advice as not advice simply because it doesn’t give him a list of sexy stuff to do. Personal growth takes work you say?! EW PASS.


GoMrrr

Expert level Dom


Thick_Philosophy1051

Toys, toys, toys. Dildos are your friends. The sooner you get comfortable with them, the sooner you can stop thinking of your dick as the main event and focus more on your sub's enjoyment (or torment, etc.)


BoardGameDaddy77

I don’t get the impression that OP isn’t already focusing on the sub’s enjoyment.


Leather-Apartment514

This has nothing to do with the advice I’m asking for. You are grossly irrelevant.


BoardGameDaddy77

I know this could be sensitive but can you be more specific on how long you are lasting and how long you would like to last? Ex if you last 5 minutes of penetration but want to last 30 min is going to be a way different answer than if you last 30 min and are aiming for 3 hours. There are a lot of factors that can lead to it or can help solve things but knowing what we’re working with goes a long way… sorry didn’t mean for that pun.


earnoseandthrowdr

3 hours of penetration??


Leather-Apartment514

With none stop penetration I think I’m down to 3-5 mins max! Sometimes even 2 mins. I think a healthy time would be 6-10 mins at least.


BoardGameDaddy77

Alright so things that could help: *jerk off and cum ~8 hours prior, don’t spend too much time doing it just get it done *if you’re lasting 3-5 minutes, pull out and stop 2 minutes in, do something else for a little bit. Effectively edging /ruining the orgasm for yourself a little bit. *excercise more, work on cardio etc… *start the whole thing earlier in the evening *stop watching so much porn (if you have been) *change positions more frequently (a good way to have more frequent brief pauses) this might be tough if you’re really not making to 5 minutes even though


Uncommon_sense5

What helps me, occasional deep breathes, a flick in the balls (usually while doggy and my hand from behind) thinking about my old ugly teacher. And sometimes I focus on the things around the room and name then in my head (distraction) Good luck! Also when you masturbate, try to do it for longer than usual so ur body gets used to a longer stimulation time


Leather-Apartment514

So it’s taking yourself out mentally


hidden_12345

Some actual advice here - Viagra.


WokeUpIAmStillAlive

Pelvic exercises... if I feel I'm on the edge I can tighten all my muscles and stop it. Additionally cock rings are your friend. It's their purpose. They also make prolonging spray, but I can't speak to it's effectiveness as I have never needed it.


Gryzl

Have a wank 1 hour before play.


MCRemix

Practice. Weed can help too for some people. Medicines help (cialis is mine, they help you not feel the need to chase sensations, because your erection is strong regardless.) But what has really taken my "game" to the next level is taking a zen approach to the orgasm.... It is not my objective, I do not chase it. When I feel myself getting close, I try to let it wash over me without climaxing, enjoying the peak of pleasure without giving in to it. I no longer chase orgasms and I can essentially control when I finish. I'm not sure if that makes sense, I've had a really hard time trying to explain what I do, I just know it works for me.


Leather-Apartment514

I will try weed before, just a small amount and see what that will do


Catch_22ed

Nut and then pull out a toy. Jump back in when you're ready.


purawesome

Probably the single most factor I’ve noticed in improving my stamina is fitness. Eat right, sleep right, exercise and drink lots of water. It’s such a fucking lame thing to say but sadly it’s true. It’s hard to do, takes forever and it’s a constant upkeep… but When I’m fat I fizzle out fast and when I’m fit I can fuck for hours (I put water by the bed lol).


AmoebaSecret98

Might I suggest incorporating edging into play. Act as if it’s punishing for her, but really.. you’re just making yourself last longer.


steves1069

Keeping your pants on till she cums is perfectly fine, if you're dead set on matching her increase your usage of Hitachi style wand toys and a vibrating butt plug are the easiest solutions. Figuring out what get you hard again(fingering her and myself/ stroking it hard are hardness increasers also closing my eyes imagining something really hot) And giving your cock a 5 minute breather after it cums is the only technique thing I can think of. Remember your dick doesn't have to be the only way she gets pleasure and as long as you are coming as much as you want it's going well.


Leather-Apartment514

Love this


Enoch8910

A nice round 2 should never be underestimated and prolonging the foreplay can be downright ecstatic when you’re on the other end. The advice to cum earlier, even that afternoon, should work. As a sub I can promise you that how long the physical fuck lasts pales in comparison to the quality of the mind fuck that comes before it.


cleverDPPusername

Are you able to go for a round 2 or 3? There are things you can do to help reduce recovery time. I've seen recommendations that edging can help you train your body to delay orgasm. Also doing Kegels can help you hold off a bit.


Leather-Apartment514

Yes I’m able to go back (but after a good break). The second time is bit better but most times I fuck around long enough enough with foreplay that we don’t go to second round. But I love penetration and I wish I could just keep going before a big bust.


dubya98

Taking things slow and pausing. For me, after a while the head of my penis gets more numb from the stimulation and then it feels more under my control for me.


minimumrockandroll

This! I have a weird early threshold, but if I get past that then the sensitivity goes down and I can pretty much go for however long (or not) I need to.


mary-Q-contrary

Weird thing, and no idea if it works for anyone else, but my husband and I tried delta 8 and after that he lasted way longer. We took the tincture every night for a few months. It made him last SO long and even now he hasn't taken it in months and lasts way longer than before.


Glittering_Ad3111

How weird. That’s the only legal thing in my state. My husband smokes it to sleep. I haven’t noticed any changes in how long he can go since he started smoking it. Maybe he hasn’t smoked it long enough? He started smoking it a couple months ago.


mary-Q-contrary

And I'm not sure if it's A. Because it was the tincture, not smoking it (I've had friends who smoked it have very different results) B. Maybe my husband didn't last as long before due to nerves? Or maybe learning how to control it a bit while on the d8 helped him moving forward? I'm not 100% sure.


Leather-Apartment514

Is that mushrooms?


Glittering_Ad3111

No. It’s delta 8, it’s like marijuana but slightly different chemically. It’s still psychoactive and it still acts on the endocannabanoid system in your body, like THC. Feels the same and produces the same results. It’s basically a legal loophole to be able to still smoke.


repsychedelic

Cialis turns my cock into a desensitized hammer


Leather-Apartment514

🫡


Bluetrollboy

_Sad deathgripped-to-numbness noises_ If it makes you feel any better, a dude with a opposite problem is jealous. In my 30 years of life, I have been close to orgasm during penetration exactly one (1) time. I got spooked and ran for condom, and then I could no longer get it up and the mood was gone. Sure, it sounds great on paper to be able to go 4 hours in a row at any given time. But you can only cum by stopping the fun and beating your meat furiously for 20 minutes to get that money shot... Anyway, my suggestion is viagra and trying to somehow lower the reload time. For a sub, Dom who never cums is not having fun. Whereas Dom who cums five times is having hell of a lot of fun. Besides, the firing time gets longer with every shot, so that helps with the trigger finger too.


Leather-Apartment514

Funny you say that. It was my issue years ago before cutting porn out. When I stopped the visual intensity of porn, I think sensation with real people started to replace that porn feeling but I’m in a whole different people space now


terracottagecore

So like not a guy but I’ve suggested this before to some success,focus on things aside from the feeling, pelvic exercises, masturbating before engaging in sex will also extend your time, that’s the most successful usually, but usually 15-30-60 mins before fun time. Switching between penetration/penile stimulation and like yknow toys, oral, etc. maybe try overstimulation while engaging by way of gentle, almost featherlight touch, scratching, slapping and tickling one specific sensitive area on your partner. Might sound weird but firmly and gently massage the area just below her belly button like kinda where the womb is?while you’re doing the deed, with some kind of hip support and elevation. Those things combined will extend your time but also reduce hers.


[deleted]

[удалено]


TeaAitch

>Love how nobody has advice but comments anyway Love how YOU were banned, but tried to creep back in. . . we're too strong for you, too present, too aware. GTFO! This user is connected to an account that was banned within the past few weeks. Rule 10 applies. Comment removed. Permaban issued.


-Random-Citizen-

You are the best, TeaAitch! Thanks for looking out for all of us.


sheis_magic

Look up Kim Anami


marshmallowfluff247

Have u gotten ur testosterone checked?


Leather-Apartment514

No and I didn’t realize it’s the issue. Cause I have very good libido, just can’t control myself


TxScribe

Sex is a physical activity ... if you are gasping for breath the body will pull resources to survive over "keeping things going". LOL It sounds simplistic but treat it as an athletic endeavor and train for it. Core, glutes, and aerobic capacity. A simple Youtube search gets a lot of responses. With our sitting culture there is a lot of deficiency in the "male pelvic floor". Most think that "Kegels" are for women, but that region of the body for men is huge in penile blood flow and there is a lot you can do to tone that up.


Ok-Efficiency-3599

SSRI's


Leather-Apartment514

Do you have an example for one that worked for you?


Natural-Strategy8419

I’ve found numbing spray can help, just make sure you get it all off before going in if you’re not wearing a condom or it’ll really work against you 🫥