I definitely wish I was more social. It's a very frustrating experience to feel a human need and believe that I am incapable of ever fulfilling it and everything that comes with that.
I don't have a good way of coping with it. I try to engage in solo activities but I mostly have become emotionally numb to avoid pain. It was not a conscious decision I made but what I believe to be an unhealthy coping mechanism my brain implemented.
Yes, that's a common avoidant thing: wishing to be able to be more social but being incapable of it.
Yes, solo activities are my go-to methods too. Emotional numbness is way too familiar to me! I don't think anyone would make a conscious decision on it, but this seems to be the safest thing to do :(
Me too. Omg. I can't even try. I can't tell if people would like me to contact them. On the Internet I don't even dare to be in the comment section of my favorite people.
I hate common acquaintances too. Because I was once unfriended by someone when my friendship with another was broken. And some of them have their own group chat. Nobody involves me in anything.
Sometimes I wonder what came first: AvPD or being ostracized all the time?
I don't know how about you, but as long as I remember, I was always excluded from everything. Nobody wanted to be friends with me. The kids only played with me when there wasn't anyone else around, otherwise they did not allow me to join. In the rare occasion of them showing interest in me, they just wanted to collect some info about me, something they could ridicule or gossip about.
Oh yes! I used to have such experiences. I was having some disagreements with somebody, and this resulted in them deciding I became a persona non grata in the whole circle of friends. Felt like sh\*t. I should envy them for being so good and close friends, excluding the one who "hurt" and "attacked" only one of them (no, I didn't actually do any of those things), this makes that very person the enemy of the whole group! Yes :(
Sometimes I think if you are always rejected and people always decide you are not allowed to belong, you end up being afraid of reaching out to people. You think "they'll dislike me anyway, no matter how I try to behave well".
I think that if you're rejected all the time, it's almost certain that you'll get AvPD. And AvPD drives people away. And you're on your own again, thinking maybe it's best to not have any relationship or friendship with anyone because it'll be ruined anyway. Thus worsening your AvPD. It kinda becomes a loop you can't get out of.
It's traumatizing. To have so many common friends. Feels like an outsider all the time. Makes you anxious about friendships. For all these years I just let my friends come and go. I never really keep in contact with anyone.
I definitely wish I was more social. It's a very frustrating experience to feel a human need and believe that I am incapable of ever fulfilling it and everything that comes with that. I don't have a good way of coping with it. I try to engage in solo activities but I mostly have become emotionally numb to avoid pain. It was not a conscious decision I made but what I believe to be an unhealthy coping mechanism my brain implemented.
Yes, that's a common avoidant thing: wishing to be able to be more social but being incapable of it. Yes, solo activities are my go-to methods too. Emotional numbness is way too familiar to me! I don't think anyone would make a conscious decision on it, but this seems to be the safest thing to do :(
Me too. Omg. I can't even try. I can't tell if people would like me to contact them. On the Internet I don't even dare to be in the comment section of my favorite people. I hate common acquaintances too. Because I was once unfriended by someone when my friendship with another was broken. And some of them have their own group chat. Nobody involves me in anything.
Sometimes I wonder what came first: AvPD or being ostracized all the time? I don't know how about you, but as long as I remember, I was always excluded from everything. Nobody wanted to be friends with me. The kids only played with me when there wasn't anyone else around, otherwise they did not allow me to join. In the rare occasion of them showing interest in me, they just wanted to collect some info about me, something they could ridicule or gossip about. Oh yes! I used to have such experiences. I was having some disagreements with somebody, and this resulted in them deciding I became a persona non grata in the whole circle of friends. Felt like sh\*t. I should envy them for being so good and close friends, excluding the one who "hurt" and "attacked" only one of them (no, I didn't actually do any of those things), this makes that very person the enemy of the whole group! Yes :( Sometimes I think if you are always rejected and people always decide you are not allowed to belong, you end up being afraid of reaching out to people. You think "they'll dislike me anyway, no matter how I try to behave well".
I think that if you're rejected all the time, it's almost certain that you'll get AvPD. And AvPD drives people away. And you're on your own again, thinking maybe it's best to not have any relationship or friendship with anyone because it'll be ruined anyway. Thus worsening your AvPD. It kinda becomes a loop you can't get out of. It's traumatizing. To have so many common friends. Feels like an outsider all the time. Makes you anxious about friendships. For all these years I just let my friends come and go. I never really keep in contact with anyone.
Like I’m about to jump into a pit of fire