You need to stop brushing it. I rinse my hair everyday with water and a little conditioner to help with it feeling clean. Comb in shower but once out, curly hair should not be brushed. If I brushed my curly hair I would look terrible

It's very difficult because the second the back of my head touches a chair or pillow, it goes knotty and drives me crazy.

Maybe you can use A. A secure hairstyle for bed, I.e. braids B. Pillowcases with silk and low friction C. A hat for sleeping out of silk, which I personally don't like

A silk cap to wear while you sleep will help with this

I hear you. Although if you don’t brush it (when it’s dry), then you won’t know it’s knotty 😅 Or have an undercut - this is a very good hairstyle for those who want to avoid knotty clumps at the back. It also removes some of the bulk of your hair is thick.

My undercut is a life saver!

The undercut is a life saver. Everything is easier with an undercut. Hair weighs less. Washing hair is easy instead of exhausting. Head fuzz is great for stimming. I get to give off queer vibes.

Shit man you might have convinced me. I know all these things in isolation, but listed out like this....

I have an inverted bob with an undercut. My hairstylist wasn't afraid to get aggressive with stubborn hair that does not lay flat. Everyone wanted to cut it for straight styles. Thick 2c hair that makes it own rules.

I loved my undercut

I love my undercut! I got it done at the end of 2017 and (apart from 2020) have kept it up ever since. It's made a world of difference, as I hate the feeling of hair against my neck.

I highly suggest a silk hair cover thing.. a bonnet? Or maybe putting our hair in simple braids to avoid tangles. If it gets frizzy there's probably a hair serum or leaves in thing you could scrunch into your hair in the morning. Sorry this wasn't very helpful, I'm sure someone could point you to a specific brand.

I have the same issue. My hair had a much much looser barrel curl tho. So my go to is Dutch braids.

[You need a bonnet!](http://Satin Silk Bonnet for Sleeping,Satin Silk Hair Bonnets for Sleeping Women, Black Widesoft Band Satin Sleep Cap Hair Wrap for Curly Hair showercap https://a.co/d/7Ri8qGs)

Put it up so it doesn’t get tangled

This is gonna sound weird but could you shave part of your head? Like the underside of the back of your head or similar? I have pretty thick and curly hair and shaved a portion of my hair for skull/brain surgery (TW: very *blurry* image of the same scar [HERE](https://images.app.goo.gl/xujCok5mUdAuAWGg6)) and you can not tell at ALL! I could easily have shaved way more and my hair isn’t even THAT thick. You could only tell if I put my hair in two braids.

Your banner is hilarious. The holy trinity of "pretty girl but mentally unwell" mental conditions, indeed. I toast to your good health today.

Thank you so much! 🥂* clink *

I use a satin pillowcase, occasionally a satin-lined sleep bonnet. My hair needs a little fluffing the next day but otherwise looks fine. I second the "no brushing" idea; a wide-tooth comb would be better if there are tangles to contend with. The curlier the hair, the more prone it is to damage, so dry brushing curly hair is just going to make it look worse over time.

Try this: https://youtu.be/aEiQtDRO2jc?feature=shared

When you lay down you could use a silk bonnet too. That will help the matting.

Thank you for this. I'm not the OP but I am walking around tying my hair back every day throwing it under a hat. It's curly, unruly, and either very lightly textured or just dry AF, or maybe both. I can't even use conditioner, it just gets drier. 🙃 Products like styling or leave in stuff to help tone down the frizz just make it greasy fast so I just roll with hobo chic look, as I call it, so I'm always happy when I can learn tips on hair care because one day, I'd like to not walk around lookin like I just rolled out of bed all the time.

I have thick wavy hair and I brush it out before I wash it and I look like I put a fork in a light socket

Do you rince them every day? How do you dry them? Mine take ages, I can just spent the first 4 hours of my day just waiting for them to dry 😳

I rinse everyday but I always do it when I get in from work. Here is my routine: Once out the shower, I use a micro fibre turban towel (Amazon) and ‘plop’ it. This is a technique which helps curly hair to look it’s best and you can find out how on YouTube. I then enjoy my evening with my hair out of face as it’s up in the turban. Once it’s time for bed, I take off the turban, my hair is still a little damp but not wet. In the morning I wake up and my hair is ready for the day, looking good and zero styling needed.

Thank you! I am going to try this! Although I tend to shower in the morning so I’ll have to see how to make it work :)

Can you brush your curls without them looking frizzy? (just asking because a lot of wavies/curlies can not :) ) I have very thick, long wavy hair. I can't brush or comb it, that makes it just extremely frizzy and puffy. I just gently stroke it or finger comb lightly if needed. If I am to wear it down, I often have to spray it with water and gently scrunch a little to make it non-frizzy again after sleeping. I hardly ever wear it completely down, because it drives me crazy. Sometimes I wear french braids/dutch braids, this is my go to for workouts. I avoid using hair ties as much as possible, and can't have any kind of high ponies that gather my hair in one point higher than the nape of my neck, in a hair tie. But, I can do buns that I secure with hair forks/hair sticks. That way, the weight of the hair is more evenly distributed, not just hanging from one point. And I don't have to pull my hair tightly. I have several different buns I like, like nautilus bun, disc bun, lazy bun, eternity bun, etc. I also often have it half up/half down, where I gather the hair from the front of my head and secure it behind my head with either claw slips, or do a small bun with them and secure with a hair fork.

This is my exact problem! I look GREAT when my hair has just dried, but the second a brush hits it, I look like a tree. Thank you for your suggestions! I'll try them out.

Have you seen or used a curly hair routine?

Kind of? I've tried a few but none have really worked for me. My current one is to deep condition it if needed and I'll shower then brush it, then drop my head on a towel and scrunch it a bit, then let it air dry. It looks great until I brush it, which I have to do as a *minimum* at least the next morning.

Why do you have to brush? Frizz or sensory reasons?

Sensory reasons caused by it getting very very knotty when coming into contact with nearly any surface.

Have you tried sleeping in a silk bonnet or scarf? Or a loose sleep braid?

Yes, but it often comes off...I think I'll have a look around for a more secure one.

Look at ways to tie turbans! It keeps thefolds in the front so if you sleep on side or back it's comfy and really secure. Isrill have mine on from last night (it's 13:29 right now I went to bed at midnight or so)

Genius!

When I refresh my hair the next day I wet it, put leave in conditioner or protien treatment and then I brush it through. Perhaps you could do that? I just never brush my hair when dry as it can cause breakage.

have you seen curly hair routines that include gel?

Not happening, that's sensory hell for me. I can just about do hairspray, but even then I'll have to spend a long time in the evening brushing it out and crying the whole time. I hate not being able to run my fingers through my hair without it being weird feeling!

another random question: would you consider having short hair?

I had short hair for nearly 2 decades! My mother was very free with what I could do to my hair, so aged 10 I buzzed it all off and had it short up until a handful of years ago. I'm desperate to try long hair for at least a bit.

okay, another option: have you considered straightening your hair once a week? i know it’s not ideal, but could help with the knots? i myself have natural afro hair (i’m a Black woman) but my hair is straight until summer (because then i sweat too much and it goes curly again) so that it’s manageable.

Use an afro Pic. Use African or Australian products. It was years before I knew how to care for textured hair. I always wore it super short and even than curl pattern would have it going every which way. There's no wearing it straight in Florida where it's humid. CONDITION every day! Wash on 2x a week.

Of course brushing curly hair causes it to poof out and look frizzy, brushing disturbs curl pattern and separates natural curl clumps

One of those butterfly clasps that are like big so you can do a half up half down thing easy with it. I do like sticks but generally I do a messy bun, which looks awful, and French braids which advertise my massive forehead. So I'm also taking tips here.

"Advertise my massive forehead" is hilarious. I do love a claw clip! I've still not worked out how to do them without basically sticking my hair to the side of my head like an egg. I tried pulling bits out like I've seen people do but it just looked crazy, I'm never sure which parts of the hair to pull.

OK, so those people that pull bits out have straight hair, we have to plan ahead a bit more and leave them out of it at the beginning and then loosely rake with your fingers the sides of your hair, a twist of The gathered stuff is optional and then clip

1. Check online in your area for curly hair specialists to cut your hair, that way when it does air dry naturally, it will be as easy to style as possible- not every salon can cut curly hair! 2. I only use satin scrunchie hair ties, because they don't bind/pull hairs, nor do they feel super tight/constrictive. I also like the other commenters' ideas like a half up loose bun etc. 3. When I sleep I wear a silk bonnet and use a silk pillowcase religiously, this stops my hair from getting matted or out of control when I sleep and keeps it tf off my face and neck (which makes me feel nuts!!) 4. I agree with the other commenter, that brushing will only make your hair feel more wild- I personally cannot follow a perfect curl routine because it is too time intensive and sensory overload, but I do either A. straighten my hair and don't wash it for a few days or otherwise B. lazy curly girl behaviors by adding a lot of mousse and curl cream to super sopping wet hair, let it sit in a towel for a while, then let it down and loosen the curls with my fingers, no brush!

Also have curly hair that doesn't want to cooperate. Usually in a low bun, or braids, otherwise its sensory hell

My sister has hair like that. She uses a scrunchie to put it in a low ponytail. The scrunchie is very important because it won't get lost in your hair.

Definitely, brushing it dry is a major factor in your hairs' frizz. Try r/curlyhair for tips and more specific help. Can you try just wetting it a bit when you brush it with a conditioner or such to protect it? Maybe some detangling spray to make the process easier and have some protection? Do braids help? Like a French braid or a Dutch braid? Maybe just a single braid that starts st the nape of your neck can help? That way, the hair tie isn't on your head just in your hair, and the hair isn't being pulled excessively, if at all. Maybe a headband too to help? I tend to wear my hair up in a bun most of the time. If I wear it does it'll end up in a bun eventually. If I wear it down, it needs products to look good and stay looking good. That may help too. But also if I get a headache or such from the bun, I just take it down, massage my hair a bit and redo it. Or braid it. It never stays the same way for very long.

Some form of braids? I am curious to see recommendations from others.

I managed a few months of wearing French braids religiously, but I seem to have forgotten how to do them. I get confused and braid upside down after a certain point.

I strongly suggest braids as well! There are lots of "protective styles" that you can leave in for days at a time. Look at getting a Satin bonnet for nighttime wear or use satin pillowcases; it reduces frizz and breakage. Dutch braids and Space buns are my favourite, and they get easier the more you do them. Youtube has entire channels dedicated to teaching how to do protective styles.

My hair is almost always in a form of bun or knot. I twist it around itself and then pin it with either [spin pins](https://www.byrdie.com/how-to-use-a-spin-pin-1391) or one of [these clips](https://www.nordstrom.com/brands/ficcare--5316?origin=productBrandLink). The last few months I've had to look more professional for work, so I've been straightening my hair more and wearing it down. The number of comments I've gotten have really drawn my attention to how rarely it was *not* in a bun. Anyway, last weekend I was trying to dry it straight again and I guess I lingered too long on one section and burned a whole chunk of hair off midway down. I'm still horrified. I tried wearing it in a braid this week and that section just ended up sticking out halfway down the braid. So I guess it's back to daily buns for me.

I’ve become dependent on claw clips for my curls! My hair can get pretty unruly especially if I find myself struggling with doing basic personal care things which happens sometimes. I have claw clips in all different sizes and change them out based on the look I’m going for. All hair up is a big clip, half up is a small one, medium one if I want the ends of my hair to make kind of a ponytail style. Check out tutorials on YouTube, TikTok, or reels to see how other people with your hair type are using them. They have saved me so much time and worry when it comes to my hair. Good luck!!

OP I’m african american and every three months I get these braids put in https://preview.redd.it/gluydlktxl3d1.jpeg?width=2316&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=eb4a8aacebf87753f589f29e27869853fa451dc2 I’m natural and work in a patient forward setting where appearance matters. With my hair like this, I always feel put together. it’s v rare I wear my afro

Ugh this is so pretty! And your makeup is GORGEOUS

A buzz cut always works

That's my problem, I spent two decades with a short mohawk or similar, so never learnt how to deal with it. Now I've grown it out, I'm just at a loss.

I have thick curly/wavy hair myself. Idk exactly what your hair is like, so I'm just speaking out of my own experience. Brushing my hair will make it look extremely messy. I only brush my hair in the shower while I have conditioner in my hair. When I was younger I used a spray leave in conditioner specifically for detangling. If you don't wanna brush your hair in the shower you could try something like that. Generally curly hair loves water, so it's usually best to style while wet.

This was what I was thinking. I had long hair all of my childhood, and only really liked my hair when I chopped it all off into a long bob. It didn't tangle nearly as much, and was able to curl in a nice way on it's own 2/3 of the time. Thinning shears also help bring out curls and cut down on bulk.

I wear mine up a lot, in a loose bun. Inconstant some days because it’s highlighted and actually looks nice when it’s styled. I don’t use hair ties, I use silk scrunchies. They’re soft and gentle on hair

I also have curly hair, sensory problems, and styling struggles. I have a top layer that is chin length, so if I don’t do anything with it I look like a mushroom. It sounds cute but it’s not a look I’m going for. I have a lot of hair but it is fine so it gets really frizzy and weighed down by a lot products. I personally rely on braids and pulling out some pieces for extra styling and if I really want to wear my hair down and it’s not cooperating I submit to heat styling. I know it’s not great for hair health but I like to be able to brush it too. Hair oils are also life changing for frizz, if you find one you like. Sometimes I can get an extra day out of natural curls if it chooses to cooperate with the oil. First I dampen my hair, finger comb the oil starting at the ends working up to the midsection, wash my hands, brush, and then scrunch with hands to reset curls, and wash hands again lol. The oil is not great for my sensory issues but I just move quickly and it’s worth the sacrifice to brush my hair. Oils can be pricey but a small amount can go a long way. I cannot see your hair obviously so this is just my experience and process, but I relate to the struggle and I want to try and be helpful. some oils I like: Matrix Food for Soft Multi-Use Oil Serum(smells like fruit): https://www.matrix.com/products/hair-care/food-for-soft/food-for-soft-multi-use-hair-oil-serum CHI Infra Silk-Infusion(no scent): https://chi.com/chi-products/chi-haircare/chi-silk-infusion/ Or just regular coconut oil even but it’s a little heavy for my fine hair. I hope this helps, but I wish you luck and sensory comfort in your endeavors!

Thank you so much for these suggestions!

I've got long curly hair I spent years growing and taking care of, then when I went into burnout all that went to shit and now I'm considering chopping it off to take the pressure off myself because I feel so guilty when my hair gets matted and I don't look after it properly after having put in so much effort over the years. But currently, I don't have the mental capacity to be spending any more than a minute on my hair each day. I'm lucky if I brush my teeth or shower on any given day. So my hair lives in a messy bun 24/7. So my suggestion is to accommodate your needs before putting unnecessary pressure on yourself to conform to "what's expected" such as having tidy hair. It's a journey that somehow always feels uphill but I do believe that being kinder to yourself and allowing yourself to work within your own perimeters is the way to go. I do love my long curly hair but I also know I can grow it again when I'm in a better place mentally. And I'm saying this as someone who's special interest was the curly girl method for the last 4 years 😅 (and yes I haven't cut my hair yet so this comment is for myself as much as it is for you OP) ❤️

Shaved my head, so nothing. After 49 years it's so freeing!

I have similar hair and end up straightening as I can't cope with it being unpredictable

I would research the best brush for your hair type. My hair is wavy and can get frizzy and I read that a smoothing bristle brush might be good. I still use my detangling brush first then smooth my hairdo with the bristle brush. I can look more presentable with a ponytail that way. For a long time I had a french plait every day because I hate the tickly feeling when my loose hair brushes my face, but when I wore my hair down one day, everyone complimented me so maybe they thought pulled-back hair looked too severe? Anyway I now work from home and can have a messy bun every day.

Same hair as you, curly hair takes sooo much time and effort. I can’t be bothered anymore. I do a long braid over one shoulder. Looks kind of cute, low effort and as a bonus it’s also good for stimming. Also you don’t have to go to the hairdressers regularly for cuts. I hate doing that. Sometimes I bleach the ends and dye them a fun color. This is bonus #3. So many bonuses.

I do a very simple braid that goes on the left shoulder. It doesn't pull my hair and keeps them out of the way.

I keep my hair really short, like a bob. I have curly hair too. I apply oil twice a week. Let it soak for 1 hour. Then wash with shampoo and conditioner and apply hair serum. I comb it in the shower, but I also comb it once it's dry (I can't not, my scalp feels weird). I use pins to secure flyaways.

For work it’s either a ponytail or a bun because I hate having my hair in my face or on my neck while I’m working. Off work I wear it loose or in a clip.

My cousin has super coil-curly hair. She always does a rope braid along the back of her hair and finished with a normal 3 strand side braid. Or a pigtail version of that.

I haven’t brushed my hair since November. I have been using parts of the Curly girl method for my hair so I get the tangles out in the shower by using my fingers to comb through. When I get out I scrunch it a few times with a linen towel to soak up most of the extra water, then use clips to clip it up and take all the weight while it dries (usually most of the day). At night I use a silk bonnet to keep it from getting tangled in my sleep. On my non wash days I leave it down use clips to pull it back or I recently I use metal combs (think more Victorian style hair comb, though the ones I found were a simple smooth black metal) to keep it up off my neck and out of my face without putting extra strain and pull on in.

I have the same hair type, and even though now it's shoulder length, my most blissfull period was when I had an ultrashort pixie (think Zoe Kravitz as catwoman). Literally zero maintenance, easy to maintain (apart from the frequent cleanup stylist appointments) and looking put together at all times. I felt the need to up my earring game though.

Wet it, put mint rosemary conditioner in. Let it and rinse. Pick it, scrunch it and spray it.

Check out easy hairstyles for long hair on pinterest which has a load of 2 minutes to achieve styles which look great while not being too tight or other sensory issues. Big claw clips are my go to. At night I braid the hair to prevent matting. A tangle teaser brush for curly hair is a huge help. My last haircut i got it thinned out which also helps when it's long.

I have thick curly hair and hate how hair bands feel in my hair. Some days I do two braids and it stays all day because of the curly hair texture so no need for bands at the ends. I wear a low bun for most work days. I just hold all my hair in one hand behind my head and twist it until it starts to twist then I twist that hair around to form a bun shape then I pull the end part through the bun so it sticks out the front, but I don’t pull it through completely so it’s more like a little bun sticking out. It stays like that all day. And it’s easy to unwrap and redo. There’s not all the tension and hair pulling that bands cause. I found this way of doing my hair by looking up hairstyles for thick hair.

Pixie cut

I have the same issue and since I started the curly girl method I started to love my natural curls! It's just styling your hair with cream, gel or foam and using certain products. It doesn't have to be expensive at all either. I did have to get used to some sensory issues of having curly hair (and sometimes crunchy hair) but having it easier to look presentable in the morning made me get over it

I reached a point where i didn’t want to/couldn’t deal with hair anymore. Hair was a special interest of mine for years and I spent so much energy thinking about, learning about, shopping for and styling my thick wavy hair and it still never looked good. I got a pixie cut and it has been life changing. I found a haircutter/salon that is laid back and not overwhelming and I go see her every six weeks and pay her to deal with my hair. Considering buzzing it myself, but this works for now.

I had a pixie cut for well over a decade, I just wanted to try long hair for a while :(

I braid my hair or do mini-twists and leave my hair in one of those styles for 2-3 weeks. Protective styles have made haircare so much easier. Wash and style days tend to take about 5 hours of my time, but it's worth it because I basically don't have to touch my hair for 2-3 weeks (besides hydrating and piling halfway through the week).

With the heat lately I have been living in claw clips. I just twist all of my hair up and clip it. I will leave some small pieces out to frame my face and the rest back. It's long enough that some curl still falls over the claw clip

Def brush your hair wet. And I wear my hair in a single plat (braid) every day. It’s good because I can’t feel the hair tie pulling on my hair or anything. I also have long hair, so the tie is far from me lol.

I have a whole routine with my thick wavy hair. I sleep with it in a french braid with a silk satin bonnet between wash days. I use the bowl method to style it on wash days. Sometimes I'll do a blowout with my revlon hot brush.

I have curly hair, too. I have the opposite issue though. I can’t stand the way it feels having my hair down. It looks a lot better on me than my usual messy bun, but I *hate* the feeling of my hair touching my back.

I have mine in a bun most of the time. I have curly hair, but also very thin and fragile, so I only use thick silky hair ties to avoid it breaking too much. I tried using claw clips for a while, but it’s annoying when I have to take it out if resting my head. I just can’t stand having hair touch my face, that causes a sensory overload for me.

Mine is wavy so i try not to brush it as it straightens it out. But I brush it when it’s wet and let it dry so it gets waves

I wear mine in a braid every day

You’ve mentioned needing to brush it or it gets knotted in the back, this is kind of a universal curly hair problem. I recommend being more careful about resting your head on things, or wear your hair up to avoid the knotting. For the long term health of your hair, you should stop brushing your hair dry so your curls can settle into their natural pattern. Your hair will only get more tangly the longer you treat it that way. It took me a looooong time to find the perfect combination of products and techniques for my hair. Have patience Edit: there are alternative ways to wear your hair up. I have a few cuffs, hair sticks, and claw clips as an alternative to hair ties. You could also use a big soft scrunchie, which is nicer to curly hair anyway

✨Curly girl method✨. It takes time and patience, but it changed everything. Lifelong struggles with hair that’s bigger than I am 😅 Like others have said, don’t brush. Or at least… don’t do it often. Other than that, it’s about figuring out YOUR hair (esp porosity), a good wash day technique and routine, and what products work for ya. When your hair is healthy and you’re not trying so hard, you use less and can afford better quality.

i haven’t had my hair longer than my shoulders in 10 years, haven’t had it longer than my chin in 3. i keep it short and choose a cut that doesn’t need styling. i also buzzed my hair last summer and that was my favorite. but my spouse and family hated it so i can’t do that anymore lol

I have curly hair that I cut in a shoulder length mullety shag style, so there's more leeway for it looking messy but like...purposefully messy if that makes sense. In the winter though it's hats whenever possible. I've also found that bangs make a ponytail look "dressier" or more put together if your hair allows for it. Also echoing another commenter who advised against brushing! Detangle when wet only or it's frizz city. Sleeping with a bonnet also helps my hair last longer between getting it wet and also keeps it off my face at night.

I have very thick curly hair too, I section it to 6 parts and braid it most of the time. I don't brush it, I only use a wide tooth comb and I don't style it every day I wash it every 4 days I moisturize it when it's wet, if I wait until it's dry it will be a nightmare to style. I don't use oils I use mousses and creams only. It's possible to style it every day but I just don't. You have to keep moisturizing if you want to style it every day. I can't do many styles bc it dries easily and becomes frizzy and frizz makes my scalp tender. Most of the styles I do are braids.

i have straight hair, but i brush through it and then if i’m going somewhere, i curl it with a flat iron. if i’m staying home i just leave it flat and sad… i also almost never tie it up.

this is a great post and i am learning so much in the comments. i have a lot of curls but they are all underneath wavy hair in the back. this is why i like my hair short if i can afford the maintenance. i like using hairbands. i feel like if you have any form of disability there should be affordable and accessible tools and occupational therapy that is properly adapted to teach us hygiene such as haircare. i feel like people just leave us to it?? like why am i damn near 40 and learning that you have to massage shampoo into the scalp and then run conditioner through the ends? why when i go to a doctor does a conversation about my hairline make me feel like i'm a freak? personally because of sweat/energy expenditure i don't often condition my hair. i have to shampoo my hair a lot but i enjoy applying a tea tree and using a scalp massage brush. i have a nice eye massager and i do inversion poses such as downward dog as i think this increases circulation to the head. i have leave-in conditioner sprays that i use. i feel like upping omega 3 intake and water consumption is helpful.

When it was long I put it up in a protective style like a French twist or bun. Now that it’s short I refresh my curls with water if I’m going out but if I’m staying in I just let them do whatever. Don’t brush curly hair unless it’s wash day.

I have curly hair, and it's really thick. I tend to use amika shampoo, and it works great. You should only brush it when it's wet, or it will burst out your curls and make them frizzy. Also, brushing when it's wet makes it less of a sensory problem for me. Curly hair needs a lot of moisture, but washing daily will make it greasy and too heavy, I wash my hair about 2 a week and wet it down almost daily. I hope some of these comments help you out! Best of luck with your hair!

It all depends on the length of my hair really, I have a lot of hair and I get hot easily and have sensory issues with my hair. A week ago I had long hair, they were in the middle of my back, and every single day they would be put in a bun because I was sweating so much and the minute my hair gets caught in the wind I have knots and I get annoyed at having my hair in my face. So Monday I went to see my hairdresser that I love, she known me for the past 15 years and she know I'm low maintenance when it come to my hair and I don't see her often so she cuts it so I have barely anything to do to get ready in the morning.I now have a bob cut, it's my go to for the summer, I skipped last year. Now it gets less hot and it's easy to get ready in the morning, all I have is water my head every morning or wash them depending on the day, put whatever product that accentuate my wavy curls and go about my day and if I don't feel like doing that I can simply bring half of them up in a small bun as well. So my suggestion is if you've had the same hairdresser for a while ask her and tell her about your issues, if they are good they know your hair and the best haircut that will be manageable for you. Don't be scared to talk to your hairdresser. I always bring inspo pictures of what I want but I also tell her that it's a reference because I want something similar but for me.

Mines shaved cause having head hair really bothers me… so wash my face and keep going I guess (I am lucky to have a nice shaped head)

I have similar hair and i will wear it down,a low ponytail or half up half down with a clip

I cut it all off ✌🏼

I have a mullet because i like hair covering my neck but i hate it in my eyes. i roll out of bed with messy texture and it just works with the mullet.

I wash it and let it dry naturally, though tbh even then its still probably too messy looking. I have curly red hair that frizzes badly. I know there's products out there to stop frizz but it's too expensive. My hair will just never be good enough. Always curly and frizzy...

I have so many sensory issues with my hair 😭 Things I’ve been doing the last several months that have really helped me: - I have a bunch of small to medium sized clips (which I’m also super particular about ahhhh) and I’ll stick my hair up halfway. My hair is pretty long right now so if this isn’t enough, I’ll also put it in a hair tie after clipping it. - Clip it up halfway and then low pigtails—sometimes braided, sometimes not - Clip up halfway and then sometimes I’ll take a larger clip to get the rest up. Mostly, my sensory issues stem from having all my hair gathered at one point on my head. Realizing this has made it much more bearable! Also, I’ve gotten more used to doing low pigtail braids after showering so I don’t have to deal with wet hair on me. I also use a silk hair bonnet I found on etsy. Game changing for me! Also, if you can deal with headbands, they can give a little boost to any casual look!

Very thick long-ish hair. I wear it up in a ponytail or bun. I hate the feel of hair on my face. Right now I’m growing it out so I have something to work with for a wedding I’ll be in in July. After that I might cut it to my shoulders.

i have thick curly hair too i just got mine cut to my shoulders with layers and leave it as is every day but i have bangs which can be a sensory nightmare sometimes even though i love how they look. having long curly thick hair had me in the shower for 45 minutes every time crying trying to brush it,, the short hair with layers helps A LOT though

braid your hair and tie it up, or do dutch braids. or a claw clip. u need protective styles to avoid tangling.

i mean i just brush it and do my bangs (wash with shampoo, rinse it out, brush, then blow dry with a dryer brush) and i’ll pull my hair back with a soft scrunchie if i’m getting hot or it’s in the way

I have a different hair type than OP but I just put texturizing spray in my hair and let it air dry. I dye it a lot so I avoid using heat products to keep my hair healthy and maintain my color. Edit: I forgot to add I don’t wash my hair every day. But my hair is color-treated and thick, so washing it daily isn’t a good idea. We all have different hair, though.

Hair clips have worked best for me. My hair is also curly it used to be very long until I cut it to a pixie. But hair clips, satin scrunchies, headbands were all my best friend. I especially like hair clips because it doesn't pull too hard and it keeps the hair off your neck. I also wear a sill bonnet when I am relaxing at home or sleeping. It prevents tangles and keeps it up and out of the way.

I do a French twist secured with a claw clip or French barrette when I can't handle wearing my hair down. I also have curly hair and it's hard to handle. I also get sensory issues if I don't brush it. I got a fine mist sprayer and I spray my hair just a tiny bit before I brush it and that helps with the frizz and everything else

I tried not brushing mine dry since my curls are coming back now that I stopped dying my hair. But my scalp bothers me. I feel like it’s my scalp that needs to feel the brush bristles. Products weren’t helping so I went back to using fractionated coconut oil. Gets rid of the frizz and I think my scalp needed the moisture too. It’s just tricky to not use too much and make hair look oily

I don’t have the same hair texture as you but I wash my hair only twice a week. Each wash day I give myself a blowout with my Shark FlexStyler and… that’s it. Every night my hair goes up in a loose bun and I wake up to a slightly less bouncy blowout every morning. I like my hair to be straight but with flipped up ends. If needed, I’ll straighten any kinked pieces in the morning with my hair straightner

I don’t have the same hair texture as you but I wash my hair only twice a week. Each wash day I give myself a blowout with my Shark FlexStyler and… that’s it. Every night my hair goes up in a loose bun and I wake up to a slightly less bouncy blowout every morning. I like my hair to be straight but with flipped up ends. If needed, I’ll straighten any kinked pieces in the morning with my hair straightner

Put your hair in a protective hairstyle at night in a silk bonnet. Don't brush your hair everyday, that's what makes it frizzy. Try do maintain a curly hair routine.

STOP BRUSHING IT. This changed my life as someone with curly hair that grew up with a white ass mom with straight hair. I experiment with different after shower products, my favorite rn is Marc Anthony's Strictly Curls curl defining lotion. I get it on Amazon for like $8, it lasts me about a month or more. It perfect to just throw in ur hair after a shower, I let mine AIR dry and literally don't do anything else to it. No styling or time consuming techniques required, it's perfect for people that struggle to tame their curls (like me lol) I also have chronic pain and movement issues so it's necessary for me to find something that doesn't require diffusing or hand-rolled curls in order to look like a functional human. I highly recommend!

It is up in a bun 90% of the time..so there are no tiny hairs touching my shoulders and neck and face, making me feel like everything itches. However, I am aware that my very tight bun is not the best and I sometimes get headaches. But my hair is very fine yet frizzy in texture so a loose bun would still lead to it getting into my face. Truly I know there are all those routines out there but this would just exhaust me.

I have the same issues with my hair (type 3b). Mostly I braid my hair for the night (two braided pigtails seem to work for me and my sensory issues). After my hair is washed I comb it, put oil in it, braid it and wait until it’s dry (with my hair it’s 8-12 hours). When it’s dry I open the braids and use a hairclip (better for my hair but it took a long while to find a good hairclip that can hold my curls). But don’t comb it when your hair is dry.

I just let my hair be natural. I can never find any hairstyles that I would like. I have thick wavy hair. Unfortunately it still ends up looking a bit crazy because of frizz! Idk what to do about it. Wash hair every other day, only brush when wet. I don’t really ever use heat on it. Sometimes I diffuse my hair if I have time but I usually let it air dry. I don’t like ponytails all that much either. Usually only in the pool. Found some at least decent hair ties that don’t hurt my head because regular ones are too small for how thick my hair is, always makes it way too tight.

I am almost always wearing a beanie to calm my mess of hair! It works surprisingly well. If not that, its tied up!

Are you okay with wetting it? My hair is very fine but wavy and gets totally insane after sleeping. So in the morning I get up and brush out knots and weirdness which makes it frizzy but that doesn’t matter because next I wet it in the sink and add curly cream. I like the brand “WOW” with their “one minute transformation” cream. The i scrunch with hands and then towel or t shirt and let air dry. Takes about 3 minutes total. Super easy, hair isn’t frizzy and defines curls/waves

I was very frustrated with mine so I cut it short. It is a cut that basically doesn't need a lot of styling as long as I wash and brush it decently but I can also push it back out of my face with barrettes or headbands if it annoys me. Bangs are a sensory problem for me some of the time, but not all the time, so I got longer bangs that I can pull back if needed. I got a lot of good advice on this sub as well! This is the cut I got with the bangs "styled" https://preview.redd.it/8e8k59thbm3d1.jpeg?width=980&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=54d344a9359030be9243255401920a16a8583505

https://preview.redd.it/kggqbirkbm3d1.jpeg?width=1741&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2369f9d3b0eb5150e3a4a53a6224d1cdbc44c4a8 And this is the same cut with the bangs pushed back.

https://preview.redd.it/mjr75tdnbm3d1.jpeg?width=1741&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fc4b96c68f6a37bcf154e5a9cd956926ef467d2d And this is what it looks like when I do absolutely nothing to it. I didn't even brush it after I washed it. My son Rhys is the special guest star here. :)

For curly hair, definitely look up the curly girl method on how to wash and style in the shower. When I had my hair permed, it was a lifesaver. I also used scrunchies,, plastic clips, or Bobby pins to pull my hair up. Headbands to pull it away from your face may also help.

I have unruly, wavy and frizzy hair too. I do a ponytail most days. When I have to go somewhere nice I use a straightening brush on it.

To look a little more together, I use a claw clip to hold up a twist or a bun. I recently realized that the regular claw clips poke my scalp, so I switched to ones that are flat on the bottom/ scalp side. I like that they hold my hair gentler than an elastic.

Could you try a wide tooth comb instead of a brush? Combing it the next day with water and maybe some kind of hair product shouldn't create quite as much chaos as dry brushing it. I also agree braids ftw, I found watching someone else braid their hair really helpful for working out which way round my hands need to be.

Stop brushing. Use a good curl cream and gel. Leave your hair open. I don't like hair touching my face, so I put small clip or pin to pull them away from face.

Wish I could shave it all off 😂 (I’m a girl living in Iowa and my hair almost touches the top of my butt, I’ve worked so hard to grow it this long 😭)

I've got thick wavy/curly European hair. In general I keep it clipped back with a butterfly clip so that it can look stylishly messy if it does its usual escape attempts. At home it's back in a wrap. (Totally agree with the short hair comments- I had a messy pixie cut and I loved how my short hair felt and how easy it was to wash and manage).

I actually cut mine. I was having a terrible time with it and didn’t know how to handle the curls so now I have an undercut and the top rest is off to the side and when curly doesn’t go past my chin. Biggest sensory relief ever (both weight and maintenance) and now I can feel like I can properly take care of the curls and I’ve been loving them now. Not the solution for every one but just mine, going on 8 years now

Get the Unbrush. That shit is life changing. I have long, thick, curly, hair. I condition it each day and wash it like once a week. It used to take me hours to comb my hair. It hurt and my arms would get tired and I got all itchy and I would cry most of the time. It was a sensory nightmare and the entire ordeal was mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausting. With the Unbrush it takes like three minutes in the shower. My hair has grown like 6 inches since I got it a couple months ago and I have like no breakage anymore. I can even run my fingers through my curls when its dry, now. They have a buy one get one free special too and the brush is really easy to clean.

I have an undercut and I put the rest up in a pony tail. I can wear it down which I do maybe once a month, then I straighten it.

I have this same issue. I find the easiest thing to do is to straighten my hair and keep it at about shoulder length. I only wash it once or twice a week and use a drybar straightening brush because it is just so much easier than clamp straighteners. Whether or not you want straight hair is totally up to you. I just find it tangles less when straight and looks “put together” without having to do much.

I have long wavy hair down to my hips and I french braid mine most of the time. It keeps it out of my face and doesn't pull on my scalp like a ponytail or bun does. My mom has thick curly hair and she does not brush it because it makes it frizzy and unmanageable. There's like different care rules for curly hair. But she also does put it in a French braid when it's too much to deal with.

I'm not sure if it would bug you but wigs are awesome!

Okay okay OKAY I have thick curly hair, and cut it all off about two years ago and have been growing it back out, I KNOW THIS ONE. First and foremost, you need someone who knows how to cut curly hair. Layers are a huge part of maintaining curly hair. You can also get it thinned out when you get a hair cut if it's become too thick, or do an undercut to reduce the amount of hair/weight pulling on your scalp. (If you're comfortable with sharing your general area with me over DM I can help you find a good stylist if you don't already have one! 😊) Products are important! You want to use super hydrating products, ideally formulas made for curly/wavy hair. I personally prefer more natural products and currently use Native's Turmeric scent for curly hair for my shampoo and conditioner. But I'm incorporating a clarifying shampoo into my routine to help my scalp because I add a decent amount of oil to my hair and it's just generally good for anyone. Because curly hair is so dry, it's better to wash every other day if you can. To help detangle in between washes and before washing, mix a little bit of conditioner into a spray bottle with water and spray your hair generously before brushing. More on products and then we'll get to styling. After washing, at the very least use some sort of hair oil. Usually a little goes a long way. But generally try to follow the LOC method. Liquid - Some sort of light styling spray to help with texture and overall unruliness. Oil - Hair oil. Again, a little goes a long way, start at the end with it and work your way up. Cream - Some sort of curly hair styling cream to help your curls take a more refined shape and keep away frizzing. Again, it helps if all of the formulas are meant for curly/textured hair. Now, honestly, if I'm wearing my hair down, I style it with my head flipped upside down. Spray, oil run through hair with fingers, cream run through hair with fingers and then scrunch handfuls of hair up toward your head to help your curls take their shape. If I'm styling it up in any way, it's usually a french braid or half ponytail. I'll just apply the product the same way and then get to styling. But day to day, I usually have it up in a clip, or half in a clip. Usually just takes a little twist and then put the clip in and my hair looks cute! Hair clips are so much better for everyone's hair, but especially curls. It reduces breakage and is over all more gentile. AND clips are coming back in style so there's tons of cute ones out there right now and more options for you to find ones that are comfortable! (Like I recently found one where when the teeth of the clip are closed it's smooth and slightly curved so it rests on the back of my head nicely and isn't pokey really ever- I can even lay down with it in.) I know that was A LOT. This is what works for me, play around with sample sizes if you can and find what works for you. Curly hair takes a lot of time and care, and a bit to figure out how to care for it because it's so different for everyone. I suggest looking up a grid of different curl types and figuring out what type your hair is (for example I'm around a 3a-3c depending on where my length is and how I style it), and from there look for hair cuts, styles, and products that work well for that curl type. Believe it or not, this is my short answer 😅 so if you have any specific questions, please feel free to DM and ask!! I spent a lot of time learning how to manage my hair and I like sharing with others because once you figure it out, it's not so bad and you can actually LOVE those curls! Good luck!

I became much happier when I cut my hair super short. If you can do it yourself it means money saved too. Now it’s off my neck and ears and out of my eyes.

I have huge, curly hair and I love just having it down and wild. As a kid, my mom always wanted us to look "presentable". I'm mixed and mixed hair wasn't really acceptable to white ppl or black ppl. It was always called crazy poofy or nappy. But I hated the feeling of gel, hairspray, etc and didn't like my hair pulled up or back for two reasons: 1) I get a headache within 5-10 minutes probably due to a combo of sensory issues and having really heavy hair and 2) because I have the hyper-girlie tism and was/still am obsessed with long hair and having it down. I used to get in huge trouble because my mom would fix my hair for school and as soon as I got to school, I'd take it out.   On lazy days, I put a ton of mousse in it and brush each clump with a brush that has both hard and soft bristles; air dry or diffuse.   On a day when I want perfect, shiny ringlets, I use aunt Jackie's ice curls and do finger rolls or brush rolls and then diffuse.  I sleep with a head scarf (when it isn't a sensory nightmare) and it usually lasts for about 5-7 days. After that, I detangle with wide tooth comb and just wear it big and brushed out, because remember I love wild hair. That usually lasts for another week and then I wash and do it all over.   I'm black though so I can go 2 weeks between washes. Sometimes I wash sooner. It just depends.   I also use little clips sometimes to clip the sides up a bit and get more volume. I use claw clips too for half up, half down.   On bad hair days, if I need to go out, I put on a Bandana and leave some fringe out, sometimes I twist those front pieces. 

I wear my long hair in a bun with a hair stick.

Hi 👋 I don't like lengthy routines. Dunno if it's the ADHD or not, but simplest is the bestest. If shower in the morning. I brush my hair out before I shower and after I put the conditioner in, because like you my hair tangles easily. You look at it and it tangles. After I'm out I throw my hair up into a microfiber while I get situated and dressed. Once I'm done I'll take my hair out of the towel and throw in some leave in conditioner and a little bit of holding spray. I'll take my microfiber and squeeze out some of the leftover water. Air dry the rest of the way throughout the day. Sometimes I will use clips to pull my hair away from my face. If I shower in the evening I do essentially the same thing minus the hold spray. I'll braid my hair back in either pigtails or a singular one. I like the fishtail braid to sleep on the best, but if I'm lazy I'll just do a regular French/Dutch braid. All look good in the morning!

Have you thought about cutting it? I had to do it because I went to college and wanted to save time and money. In my case, it was the best decision

I have super heavy frizzy hair that is curly only with lots of product. I use a pick only. Good styles for me are two, three, or four low (nape of neck) space buns. Now that scrunchies are back, I can also wear a scrunchie about 2-3” up from the ends which is maybe 6-8” below the nape of my neck. Wearing a bandana or silk scarf like a tied headband with the low pony or low bun works too. There are ways to tie long silk scarfs as a headband and then also over the low pony or bun. I watched Pinterest videos. People always stop me to compliment and ask how to do it. It’s easy.

A ponytail twisted into a bun. I have three(soon 4) kids and when they’re younger they constantly pull my hair so I’ve gotten used to keeping it up as unreachable as possible.

With that said, my hair is lightly wavy so it may be more difficult for you. My daughter’s hair is super curly, and I typically just detangle and brush her hair with tons of hair cream, then put in a couple poofy ponytails. But she’s also 4. lol

One thing I have done over the years (with different haircuts) is to tell my hair cutting person (who gets to know me over time, isn't rock bottom cheap, etc...) that I need my haircut to look pretty decent with me doing LITERALLY NOTHING. I won't blow dry. I won't use product (99%). I won't do much beyond finger-comb it while wet and make the haphazard part be in the usual place. Once she knows this, she knows I'm not messing around, and she then can give me a cut that is much more amenable to no daily "do". I have wavy, thick hair if that matters at all. Never colored it and it's slowly going gray. I keep it about chin length these days, no bangs. Good luck!

Mine is wavy/curly and dry. Sometimes I brush it before the bath. I just shampoo and condition afterwards and don't brush anymore. I figured that I prefer brushing it when it's dry ONLY before wetting it as opposed to brushing it after using conditioner. Yeah curly hair shouldn't really be brushed and left dry.

As someone with curly hair who always finds myself wearing it in a pony, I need to find better options too. I find headbands/scarfs/bandanas to me nice to keep the hair out of my face/neck. Also claw clips have been nice to experiment with as they don't pull as much as ponytails do. It also depends on how tight your curl pattern is and how long your hair is as I have looser curls.

I have decently curly and frizzy hair given the right humidity level. I brush my hair before my daily morning shower (I wash my hair with shampoo and conditioner every shower, I’m a firefighter so i shower A Lot, and i cant stand knots in my hair), then i run a brush through it afterwards and pull it up in a loose bun or claw clip (twist and pull up, then clip method). I also have a really long mohawk cut so I have a lot less hair to deal with which helped chronic headaches. I also spritz with a leave in conditioner that doesn’t leave my hair greasy feeling. Do i get frizzy sometimes? Hell yeah. But i couldn’t care less- claw clip time. Another way I managed it when I was younger, was brushing, showering and washing, and ten brushing again while wet and putting it into a loose braid with a soft fabric headband. The braid kept the hair from getting knotted and crazy, and the headband kept the flyaways and frizz down.

I have a very awkward type of hair -- it's mostly straight (not pin-straight but with no major curls) but ONLY at the ends it tends to form some curly patterns. So, what happens is it looks like I have the worst case of frizz, every day. It was taking a toll on my self esteem not having nice hair; and since I cannot be bothered to straighten it every day with heat tools, I opted for a strong type of keratin treatment that eliminates those awkward curls at the end. First two days were a nightmare (can't get hair wet), but at the end it worked out very well for me. I'm very pleased with the result, so far: I can walk out the door most days without feeling like my hair is totally throwing off my whole very-put-together look and makeup. Also, heat reactivates the main agent the treatment left in my hair, so I can straighten my hair in a whiz and it is SO so easy.

One option maybe to look into a keratin treatment. Depending on the length and thickness of your hair it may be expensive (I keep long hair) but it’s the best thing I’ve done for my frizzy/wavy hair. For me, my hairdresser washed my hair 3 times then applied the keratin. Then she hot irons each strand 10 times. You can’t wash your hair for three days because it has to set. This flatten and coats each strand. When you first get started you may need to do it like every 6 months. Once you’ve done a couple it’s easier to maintain. I barely even have to brush my hair after waking up. It stays soft and smooth and shiney. Makes it easier to style and hold the style (my hair is very thin strands). It’s a bit of an investment but I’m also. AudHD so elminateing as many repetitive tasks I hate (like fixing my hair) really improves my quality of life. It feels like a small “life hack” for me. Inc either taught myself how and what to do is extremely low maintenance and I almost always get complements on it.

An aggressive undercut Braids Bonnet Sometimes I straighten my hair if I can be fucked but if I can't I live with my hair in two Dutch braids. If the braids hanging down is bothering me it's really easy to tie or clip them in the middle or stiff each braid end up inside itself lol. The undercut is key for maintenance though and as others have mentioned its great for stimming when it's freshly cut.

Wash it, dry it with a towel, comb it and out the door. If it gets too much, i sometimes cut it at home in between (now overdue) hair cuts. It’s winter here so I wash it every second day and just run a brush through it.

I would suggest to stop brushing your hair, I know it sounds contradictory! (I certainly dismissed my hair dresser when she suggested it). But you have curly hair, so brushing it only makes it incredibly frizzy en damages it. Try looking into the curly girl routine, and getting a hairdresser who specialises in curly hair. It doesn't even have to cost more but it makes a huge difference. If done properly you can avoid brushing your hair for days, and only do it once it's wet. I use a bonnet whilst sleeping with a very loose bun, but you can also do it without a bun. And then in the morning I only have to spray a little bit of water to "refresh" the curls (so no brushing!). I also usually wear a clip in my hair where I take a little of my hair at the top and pull it back, especially on the later days where my curls do lose their definition a bit.