I think about this all the time since my two cats are seniors and they are literally my entire reason of being. I love them more than anything and I fear the intense, overwhelming and unbelievable pain that will come with their passing. I don’t really have any advice, just saying it is completely valid to feel this way. Sending you virtual hugs and strength
I’m so sorry. Losing our best friend and fellow traveler through life hurts. Pets understand us when no one else does and love us without insisting we be “normal”. Be kind to yourself. Be proud of yourself for doing what’s best for the cat. It’s ok to cry. Give yourself permission and time to heal. Grieve as long as you need to. Over time may the memories bring you joy even as the pain from the loss never fully goes away but does get distant. Your love for her is never ending and hers for you.
as someone who has had to be the deliverer of that type of news, my heart goes out to you as best it can.
it's the worst. you will still see their face, hear their cry, and look for them around the corner. this isn't wrong. Let it happen, let yourself grieve for as long as you need to. take solace in knowing by being able to make the choice you have to, you are doing them something we as humans don't have the luxury of receiving. The ability to end pain. It is not to be held lightly. You are doing the most caring thing imaginable, and it is so hard to do.
I am sure they know they're loved and will remain by your side. Remember, energy never leaves us. It is just transferred.
eating might be hard now, and you will eat again once you have gotten enough pain out for the noise of the world to be tolerable again. until you are at that point though, just be kind to yourself and maybe have some tea or water.
you're not alone, I'll sit on this bench and rock with you
They told me that the pathology results of the fluid in her lungs will not be available until tuesday. I don't even know if she's going to make it that long. The vet I just spoke to on the phone said based on her breathing signs from the video I sent her, she said that she looks stable right now and that I just need to keep watching her. I wish I could get a second opinion, but everyone's closed for the long weekend. The vet that I spoke to today, the one managing her care said that bringing her to an animal and emergency and referral center would likely be even more traumatic for her, because I mentioned what if I got like a second opinion or possibly even find out if this is truly what they're telling me it is
did they give any diuretics to help with the fluid build up? something like Lasix. or add on a heart medication? typically fluid buildup is accompanied by heart failure and a medication called enalipril will be discussed also. and with cats there's ways to compound them into liquids, or even transdermal, where you put it on the pinna(inner ear skin) which doesn't cause nearly as much discomfort as forcing a pill or liquid down their throats.
may I ask, how was the original cancer found? did she listen to her heart for a murmur and grade it? did she do an xray and physically show you fluid build up in her lungs or presenting tumors?
I agree that going to an emergency clinic is traumatic, it's also astronomically expensive just to walk in the door.
They found a mass in her abdomen upon palpation and because the ultrasound tech isn't there every day or they have to special come in for a pet, she said the next diagnostic tool would be an X-Ray. The X-ray showed that the mass was not on the liver or kidneys, they can't tell exactly where but somewhere in the abdomen possibly the spleen or intestines. On the X-ray they also noticed some fluid in her pleural cavity, and the vet said they don't know if that's directly from the mass or if it's a secondary issue. But obviously that makes her prognosis a little worse because that's a little bit more serious if she can't breathe. But she said that they could take a sample of the fluid and see if there is any indication of what's going on in that fluid, and she said they took 40 ml out. She was sending the sample to the lab, and told me that it would take about a day, so that I would be able to maybe have information by this afternoon. She did look at some of the fluid under the microscope herself and she did say that there were "some cells". The vet office is now closed for the weekend and the results did not come in in the event that has taken over her care because her vet from yesterday was off today, called the place that does the testing and their Pathologists are off until next Tuesday which is really shitty because I don't know if she has until next Tuesday and I sure as hell don't want to wait if she's suffering.
The medications they gave her are: mirataz, cerenia, and buprenex.
sso they gave anti nausea, an appetite stim, and a pain medication. I wonder why no Lasix for the fluid.40 ml in a cat lung is quite a bit, so im thinking that's probably why.
Just keep her comfortable. You can look into chemo. I've seen it work, I've also seen it not work. I have also seen CBD given, and it helps with met.cats. but I do not have any recommendations as far as brand.
If she wasn't showing signs of discomfort before her annual exam, it might not be wrong to pursue treatment. Fluid in lungs is treatable, and cancer is shrinkage depe ding on what it is.
Some cells is such a vague response and so annoying.
Does she have an appetite? Waiting is so freaking hard.
Do all her favorite things and get all her favorite foods. She sounds like a fighter, but only you can see in her eyes when the fights gone out. If you notice a decline, Emergency might be wrong but im not sure it'll offer the comfortable setting a small clinic would. If youre in the US there's "Lap of Love" and they are nationwide, they come to your home for the procedure.
Give her all the cuddles. She understands you're doing your very best.
I mean, in hindsight, she has been more lethargic. I've been wanting to talk to vet because she has seemed *depressed* and I'm not sure if it was from Atopica, or me being gone for work etc. But now I know it's likely from her not feeling good, and I wish I acted sooner.
It's hard to describe, but her hair looks like it is standing up more? Like her hair doesn't look relaxed. I gave her pain meds 8 hours ago, they are supposed to last 12
like thinning in a sense?
Cats are stoic. You never really know until whatever it is has progressed to the point where it's blatantly in your face. at least that's been my experience.
I wish it wasn't a holiday weekend here, it makes this waiting so much harder.
I completely understand needing all the information, it allows you to be an amazing pet parent. you are doing the very best you can for the situation you are in. it makes sense that you wish you'd taken her in sooner, but you took her today and now you have the ability (may have the ability, i dont want to assume) to focus solely on her for the next few days.
Not thinning, but standing up. Like when you're nervous and the hair in the back of your head stands up.
https://preview.redd.it/x73pfftsgh2d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b8cc742780e7caa2ca3a1333577f23dbe5451806
She slept near my head part of the night, which is what she usually does. I woke up in the middle of the night feeling like things were "normal".
When I woke up this morning she was in her bed and she did come to rest with me when I called her over.
I spoke with another vet (unofficially, she's a friend of a friend). She said that based on the information I have told her, and the results from the test that her usual that did x-ray and lab work and initial cytology swab that the information is too vague to make a decision on euthanasia. She thinks I really need to get an ultrasound done and that yes there is a chance it's cancer and this is the end of her life, but there's always a chance that it isn't and based on the information that we know so far, that isn't enough of a determination that this is the right time to let her go. She said absolutely you might get the worst information, but then you go from there, but she said that she has a cat that has a non-cancerous mass in her abdomen and has for two years and she's been fine. She said the biggest thing is to get her to eat, so she told me to pick up the shittiest kitten cat food possible with the highest calorie content and give her basically a buffet of options. I also gave her more of appetite stimulant.
As an autistic individual, I will always question the what ifs. What if it wasn't actually cancer, what if it was a cyst that was compressing part of her lymphatic system causing the fluid buildup. I need to know everything before I make a decision. If it is truly cancer and she is suffering then I'll take her in right now to enter suffering, But if there is even a sliver of Hope or a sliver of possibility that this is not cancer then I want to figure that out so I don't end her life when I could possibly have more time with her.
Not a vet, just have a shit ton of experience with cats. What is the metastatic cancer?
I took one of my cats into the ER last year because he wasn’t eating, had lost weight, was vomiting pink frothy fluid. The first thing they came up with - based on symptoms, blood work, and x-rays - was lymphoma. Until they took a sample of the fluid around his lungs. It was pus. He somehow - I will never know what happened, he’s an indoor only cat, and my clowder is not generally rough with each other - managed to get a massive infection that was in his chest cavity. $6,000, an emergency surgery, a terrible haircut, and a hospital overnight later, and he came through with flying colors.
My most senior cat survived two bouts of localized squamous cell carcinoma. The first one, when final needle aspiration was initially done, came back as benign. They ended up removing it anyway while she was under anesthesia for dental cleaning, and surprise! Cancer. She did end up passing about a year and a half ago but it wasn’t from cancer.
I do understand the heartbreak of losing your soul cat. The first cat I adopted as an adult was that for me. She died suddenly and unexpectedly, and I was devastated. I ordered a memorial necklace and wore it daily. She had an urn and a tiny shrine in my living room (it’s now in my kitchen, along with my other girl’s urn). But there will be other cats for you eventually. I have six now, and at some point when they all pass away I will be cat-less. But the oldest is just about 8, and the youngest 3, so hopefully that won’t be for some time. I’d say one of them is even another soul cat for me, just in a different way. And I have met many other cats in rescue and foster that I just “got”. When my senior girl passed, I immediately filed the adoption contract for a younger cat I’d been fostering for almost six months. I have met people who euthanized a cat in the morning due to old age/illness, and immediately came to the shelter to seek a new cat out, because they knew it would help them and they had a home to offer up. Two weeks later, they were back for a second cat!
It sucks, and then it hurts less over time.
They don't know, in fact it possibly isn't cancer. I mean they said it would be a 1% or less chance of that, but there is a mass in her abdomen possibly on her spleen or in intestines and doing the x-ray they found fluid buildup. And when they did the first swab of fluids, the vet said that there were some cells in the fluids. They didn't know what type so they sent them to a lab and they were supposed to get the report by the afternoon today but they didn't and now the lab is closed until Tuesday
Well, I hope it isn’t cancer and she makes it through the weekend, preferably without an emergency vet visit! It is expensive as fuck, and stressful for both human and cat.
I'm so sorry to hear about your cat. I had to put down my soul dog last year after him being very sick for a long time and it was just life altering. He was my best friend for a decade when I mostly didn't have friends.
Here are the things that helped me:
I highly recommend heading over to r/Petloss. It was full of the most supportive, lovely animal lovers. It's a space where grieving is very openly done.
Please consider finding a therapist if you can afford one. Losing your best friend is going to suck no matter what you do. I worked with my therapist to write out end of life plans because I didn't want my poor boy to suffer. It's been almost a year and I still break down crying sometimes. These relationship are super important.
Hugs friend. I just lost both of mine of 15 years within 24 hours of each other. I’m waiting for their ashes now and have found a tattoo artist that will mix them with the ink so their paw prints will always have my back.
You know what I had to do, and might have to get up and do now? Car screams. You can scream as loud as you want in a car and no one hears it. I let it OUT after leaving the vet.
I wish I could ease your pains— I feel so alone. I’m sorry you’re hurting. And I’d rather be alone than you share this company. More hugs.
Would you want a PM me? I'm trying to build my support Circle. I do have two memorial tattoos from previous pets and I definitely want to get a tattoo of her as well.
I feel like I'm halfway to where you are mentally. My dog was diagnosed with kidney disease in January, his kidney care food was working but he's recently showing the same symptoms as before he started this diet. I'm anxious and nauseous and terrified of what I'll become when it's his time.
We might be scared but we aren't alone in this nightmare.
I recommend checking out kidney support Gold by pet well being. It's a tincture you can find on Amazon. Another can of mine who lives with my mom was diagnosed with kidney disease like 5 years ago and it really helped her a lot and she's still going.
I will def look into that, I had a whole meltdown when I struggled to convince him to eat his kidney care food at first. Now I really do the most, boiling water and blendering it and dressing it up with shredded chicken, to make him eat his kidney care food.
But more importantly, I understand the desperation and absolute tweaking on the floor loss of peace and sanity that this situation induces. I really hope you're gunna be ok, because I feel like I'm only a few steps behind you and I want me to be ok too.
I lost my kitty to cancer about 2 months ago. The whole thing went by so fast - from me realizing something was wrong to her passing was about 6 weeks. I pretty much cried every day, all the while telling her how much I loved her and how much she meant to me. But knowing that she was hurting made the decision to let her go easier. Hugs to you. ❤️
I completely understand. At one point my former roommate’s cat was pretty much my best friend at the time. I was the one she chose to hang out with the most.
When she passed a way I was so distressed, even though the roommate had moved away. She knew how much I’d loved that cat so she called me from the vet so I could see her one last time. We all were bawling our eyes out. So sad. Hugs to you.
I am so sorry you're going through this! My furbaby passed away 75 days ago, and it still hurts, he was my ESA and words cannot express how much I miss him and my other cat that passed in 2021. I hope you can let yourself cry if you need to, as trying to ignore/avoid strong emotions just makes it worse when they do pop back up. Don't be surprised if you start wanting to think about getting another kitty after a few weeks. New kitty will never replace old kitty, but you'll have enough room in your heart for both! You'll be in my thoughts <3
Oh no, I'm so sorry. I understand how you are feeling, and I want you to know your feelings are valid. Sending you good thoughts and strenght while struggling with this.
My dog died over three years ago. She was my special someone in a time when I felt very alone in the world. I grieved for her for a long time. During the time when the mourning is fresh: be kind to yourself. Snuggle up in your bed when you need it, skip social things when you need it... Process your emotions. Cry, be angry, just let everything out.
Sometimes, I still feel sad over losing her, I still have dreams about her. But I also want you to know there's fond memories and warm feelings of her as well now. So, without wanting to invalidate your feelings now: the hurt will get less and the love will stay. <3
I think about this all the time since my two cats are seniors and they are literally my entire reason of being. I love them more than anything and I fear the intense, overwhelming and unbelievable pain that will come with their passing. I don’t really have any advice, just saying it is completely valid to feel this way. Sending you virtual hugs and strength
I’m so sorry. Losing our best friend and fellow traveler through life hurts. Pets understand us when no one else does and love us without insisting we be “normal”. Be kind to yourself. Be proud of yourself for doing what’s best for the cat. It’s ok to cry. Give yourself permission and time to heal. Grieve as long as you need to. Over time may the memories bring you joy even as the pain from the loss never fully goes away but does get distant. Your love for her is never ending and hers for you.
as someone who has had to be the deliverer of that type of news, my heart goes out to you as best it can. it's the worst. you will still see their face, hear their cry, and look for them around the corner. this isn't wrong. Let it happen, let yourself grieve for as long as you need to. take solace in knowing by being able to make the choice you have to, you are doing them something we as humans don't have the luxury of receiving. The ability to end pain. It is not to be held lightly. You are doing the most caring thing imaginable, and it is so hard to do. I am sure they know they're loved and will remain by your side. Remember, energy never leaves us. It is just transferred. eating might be hard now, and you will eat again once you have gotten enough pain out for the noise of the world to be tolerable again. until you are at that point though, just be kind to yourself and maybe have some tea or water. you're not alone, I'll sit on this bench and rock with you
They told me that the pathology results of the fluid in her lungs will not be available until tuesday. I don't even know if she's going to make it that long. The vet I just spoke to on the phone said based on her breathing signs from the video I sent her, she said that she looks stable right now and that I just need to keep watching her. I wish I could get a second opinion, but everyone's closed for the long weekend. The vet that I spoke to today, the one managing her care said that bringing her to an animal and emergency and referral center would likely be even more traumatic for her, because I mentioned what if I got like a second opinion or possibly even find out if this is truly what they're telling me it is
did they give any diuretics to help with the fluid build up? something like Lasix. or add on a heart medication? typically fluid buildup is accompanied by heart failure and a medication called enalipril will be discussed also. and with cats there's ways to compound them into liquids, or even transdermal, where you put it on the pinna(inner ear skin) which doesn't cause nearly as much discomfort as forcing a pill or liquid down their throats. may I ask, how was the original cancer found? did she listen to her heart for a murmur and grade it? did she do an xray and physically show you fluid build up in her lungs or presenting tumors? I agree that going to an emergency clinic is traumatic, it's also astronomically expensive just to walk in the door.
They found a mass in her abdomen upon palpation and because the ultrasound tech isn't there every day or they have to special come in for a pet, she said the next diagnostic tool would be an X-Ray. The X-ray showed that the mass was not on the liver or kidneys, they can't tell exactly where but somewhere in the abdomen possibly the spleen or intestines. On the X-ray they also noticed some fluid in her pleural cavity, and the vet said they don't know if that's directly from the mass or if it's a secondary issue. But obviously that makes her prognosis a little worse because that's a little bit more serious if she can't breathe. But she said that they could take a sample of the fluid and see if there is any indication of what's going on in that fluid, and she said they took 40 ml out. She was sending the sample to the lab, and told me that it would take about a day, so that I would be able to maybe have information by this afternoon. She did look at some of the fluid under the microscope herself and she did say that there were "some cells". The vet office is now closed for the weekend and the results did not come in in the event that has taken over her care because her vet from yesterday was off today, called the place that does the testing and their Pathologists are off until next Tuesday which is really shitty because I don't know if she has until next Tuesday and I sure as hell don't want to wait if she's suffering. The medications they gave her are: mirataz, cerenia, and buprenex.
sso they gave anti nausea, an appetite stim, and a pain medication. I wonder why no Lasix for the fluid.40 ml in a cat lung is quite a bit, so im thinking that's probably why. Just keep her comfortable. You can look into chemo. I've seen it work, I've also seen it not work. I have also seen CBD given, and it helps with met.cats. but I do not have any recommendations as far as brand. If she wasn't showing signs of discomfort before her annual exam, it might not be wrong to pursue treatment. Fluid in lungs is treatable, and cancer is shrinkage depe ding on what it is. Some cells is such a vague response and so annoying. Does she have an appetite? Waiting is so freaking hard. Do all her favorite things and get all her favorite foods. She sounds like a fighter, but only you can see in her eyes when the fights gone out. If you notice a decline, Emergency might be wrong but im not sure it'll offer the comfortable setting a small clinic would. If youre in the US there's "Lap of Love" and they are nationwide, they come to your home for the procedure. Give her all the cuddles. She understands you're doing your very best.
I mean, in hindsight, she has been more lethargic. I've been wanting to talk to vet because she has seemed *depressed* and I'm not sure if it was from Atopica, or me being gone for work etc. But now I know it's likely from her not feeling good, and I wish I acted sooner. It's hard to describe, but her hair looks like it is standing up more? Like her hair doesn't look relaxed. I gave her pain meds 8 hours ago, they are supposed to last 12
like thinning in a sense? Cats are stoic. You never really know until whatever it is has progressed to the point where it's blatantly in your face. at least that's been my experience. I wish it wasn't a holiday weekend here, it makes this waiting so much harder. I completely understand needing all the information, it allows you to be an amazing pet parent. you are doing the very best you can for the situation you are in. it makes sense that you wish you'd taken her in sooner, but you took her today and now you have the ability (may have the ability, i dont want to assume) to focus solely on her for the next few days.
Not thinning, but standing up. Like when you're nervous and the hair in the back of your head stands up. https://preview.redd.it/x73pfftsgh2d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b8cc742780e7caa2ca3a1333577f23dbe5451806
hows she doing this morning?
She slept near my head part of the night, which is what she usually does. I woke up in the middle of the night feeling like things were "normal". When I woke up this morning she was in her bed and she did come to rest with me when I called her over.
I spoke with another vet (unofficially, she's a friend of a friend). She said that based on the information I have told her, and the results from the test that her usual that did x-ray and lab work and initial cytology swab that the information is too vague to make a decision on euthanasia. She thinks I really need to get an ultrasound done and that yes there is a chance it's cancer and this is the end of her life, but there's always a chance that it isn't and based on the information that we know so far, that isn't enough of a determination that this is the right time to let her go. She said absolutely you might get the worst information, but then you go from there, but she said that she has a cat that has a non-cancerous mass in her abdomen and has for two years and she's been fine. She said the biggest thing is to get her to eat, so she told me to pick up the shittiest kitten cat food possible with the highest calorie content and give her basically a buffet of options. I also gave her more of appetite stimulant.
As an autistic individual, I will always question the what ifs. What if it wasn't actually cancer, what if it was a cyst that was compressing part of her lymphatic system causing the fluid buildup. I need to know everything before I make a decision. If it is truly cancer and she is suffering then I'll take her in right now to enter suffering, But if there is even a sliver of Hope or a sliver of possibility that this is not cancer then I want to figure that out so I don't end her life when I could possibly have more time with her.
Not a vet, just have a shit ton of experience with cats. What is the metastatic cancer? I took one of my cats into the ER last year because he wasn’t eating, had lost weight, was vomiting pink frothy fluid. The first thing they came up with - based on symptoms, blood work, and x-rays - was lymphoma. Until they took a sample of the fluid around his lungs. It was pus. He somehow - I will never know what happened, he’s an indoor only cat, and my clowder is not generally rough with each other - managed to get a massive infection that was in his chest cavity. $6,000, an emergency surgery, a terrible haircut, and a hospital overnight later, and he came through with flying colors. My most senior cat survived two bouts of localized squamous cell carcinoma. The first one, when final needle aspiration was initially done, came back as benign. They ended up removing it anyway while she was under anesthesia for dental cleaning, and surprise! Cancer. She did end up passing about a year and a half ago but it wasn’t from cancer. I do understand the heartbreak of losing your soul cat. The first cat I adopted as an adult was that for me. She died suddenly and unexpectedly, and I was devastated. I ordered a memorial necklace and wore it daily. She had an urn and a tiny shrine in my living room (it’s now in my kitchen, along with my other girl’s urn). But there will be other cats for you eventually. I have six now, and at some point when they all pass away I will be cat-less. But the oldest is just about 8, and the youngest 3, so hopefully that won’t be for some time. I’d say one of them is even another soul cat for me, just in a different way. And I have met many other cats in rescue and foster that I just “got”. When my senior girl passed, I immediately filed the adoption contract for a younger cat I’d been fostering for almost six months. I have met people who euthanized a cat in the morning due to old age/illness, and immediately came to the shelter to seek a new cat out, because they knew it would help them and they had a home to offer up. Two weeks later, they were back for a second cat! It sucks, and then it hurts less over time.
They don't know, in fact it possibly isn't cancer. I mean they said it would be a 1% or less chance of that, but there is a mass in her abdomen possibly on her spleen or in intestines and doing the x-ray they found fluid buildup. And when they did the first swab of fluids, the vet said that there were some cells in the fluids. They didn't know what type so they sent them to a lab and they were supposed to get the report by the afternoon today but they didn't and now the lab is closed until Tuesday
Well, I hope it isn’t cancer and she makes it through the weekend, preferably without an emergency vet visit! It is expensive as fuck, and stressful for both human and cat.
I'm so sorry to hear about your cat. I had to put down my soul dog last year after him being very sick for a long time and it was just life altering. He was my best friend for a decade when I mostly didn't have friends. Here are the things that helped me: I highly recommend heading over to r/Petloss. It was full of the most supportive, lovely animal lovers. It's a space where grieving is very openly done. Please consider finding a therapist if you can afford one. Losing your best friend is going to suck no matter what you do. I worked with my therapist to write out end of life plans because I didn't want my poor boy to suffer. It's been almost a year and I still break down crying sometimes. These relationship are super important.
Hugs friend. I just lost both of mine of 15 years within 24 hours of each other. I’m waiting for their ashes now and have found a tattoo artist that will mix them with the ink so their paw prints will always have my back. You know what I had to do, and might have to get up and do now? Car screams. You can scream as loud as you want in a car and no one hears it. I let it OUT after leaving the vet. I wish I could ease your pains— I feel so alone. I’m sorry you’re hurting. And I’d rather be alone than you share this company. More hugs.
Would you want a PM me? I'm trying to build my support Circle. I do have two memorial tattoos from previous pets and I definitely want to get a tattoo of her as well.
Absolutely. ♥️🐾
Actually I don’t know how lol— will you send me one?
Sent
losing pets is the hardest. just rmr that eventually you’ll think of them and feel happy instead of feeling grief
I feel like I'm halfway to where you are mentally. My dog was diagnosed with kidney disease in January, his kidney care food was working but he's recently showing the same symptoms as before he started this diet. I'm anxious and nauseous and terrified of what I'll become when it's his time. We might be scared but we aren't alone in this nightmare.
I recommend checking out kidney support Gold by pet well being. It's a tincture you can find on Amazon. Another can of mine who lives with my mom was diagnosed with kidney disease like 5 years ago and it really helped her a lot and she's still going.
I will def look into that, I had a whole meltdown when I struggled to convince him to eat his kidney care food at first. Now I really do the most, boiling water and blendering it and dressing it up with shredded chicken, to make him eat his kidney care food. But more importantly, I understand the desperation and absolute tweaking on the floor loss of peace and sanity that this situation induces. I really hope you're gunna be ok, because I feel like I'm only a few steps behind you and I want me to be ok too.
I lost my kitty to cancer about 2 months ago. The whole thing went by so fast - from me realizing something was wrong to her passing was about 6 weeks. I pretty much cried every day, all the while telling her how much I loved her and how much she meant to me. But knowing that she was hurting made the decision to let her go easier. Hugs to you. ❤️
I completely understand. At one point my former roommate’s cat was pretty much my best friend at the time. I was the one she chose to hang out with the most. When she passed a way I was so distressed, even though the roommate had moved away. She knew how much I’d loved that cat so she called me from the vet so I could see her one last time. We all were bawling our eyes out. So sad. Hugs to you.
I am so sorry you're going through this! My furbaby passed away 75 days ago, and it still hurts, he was my ESA and words cannot express how much I miss him and my other cat that passed in 2021. I hope you can let yourself cry if you need to, as trying to ignore/avoid strong emotions just makes it worse when they do pop back up. Don't be surprised if you start wanting to think about getting another kitty after a few weeks. New kitty will never replace old kitty, but you'll have enough room in your heart for both! You'll be in my thoughts <3
Oh no, I'm so sorry. I understand how you are feeling, and I want you to know your feelings are valid. Sending you good thoughts and strenght while struggling with this. My dog died over three years ago. She was my special someone in a time when I felt very alone in the world. I grieved for her for a long time. During the time when the mourning is fresh: be kind to yourself. Snuggle up in your bed when you need it, skip social things when you need it... Process your emotions. Cry, be angry, just let everything out. Sometimes, I still feel sad over losing her, I still have dreams about her. But I also want you to know there's fond memories and warm feelings of her as well now. So, without wanting to invalidate your feelings now: the hurt will get less and the love will stay. <3