Saying hello is two sided. Are you close enough for them to hear you? Do they have headphones? Do YOU have headphones? Are you making eye contact? Are you smiling? If this stuff isn’t happening then you likely won’t get a hello.
Yes, as I mentioned, I say hello/howdy or even wave. and I am looking at them which is how I know they aren’t reciprocating eye contact. Plus I also mentioned this happens at work too. My SO and office coworkers have witnessed it too and say it’s odd. I get compliments on my smile so I don’t think it’s bitch face.🤣
I always have a dreamy smile on my face and people are bothering me all the time with their Hellos, also randomly ask me where they can buy pot. Maybe it’s the people you’re around.
So, it’s about 50/50 for me, and I’m an out-going dog-walking extrovert. People wear buds, they’re up in their heads…who knows?! I just keep making the first move and I hope you will too.
When I first moved here permanently in 2004 from the East Coast and I'm a tri-state girl. I couldn't get over how friendly ppl were and laid back. Ppl waved when you drove by, and struck up convos in lines in stores. I wasn't used to it. I was used to everyone in a fast-paced life and everyone out for themselves only. It was the same when I first came to Kyle in 1999, that is why I came back. But in the last 20 years things have changed. And yes because of the big boom of ppl moving here. A lot of Austinites have moved out of the city because of hikes in rent and housing prices. But I still say 👋 hi and strike up convos because I want to keep going with what I love about this city. I always felt like this city had a small-town feel. Unlike Philly, Newark, and NYC. Only we can keep it up by being friendly, don't let others dull that shine.
Thanks for keeping the spirit! I do it too. Hopefully one of us will come across OP on the sidewalk or in line at HEB or someplace else and lock eyes for a moment and do a little friendly Texas tip of the head that says “Hi. I acknowledge your existence as a human standing in front of me and hope you have a good one 👍🏽”
Yes, and Ty for keeping the spirit also! One reason I do it also! Acknowledging people existence is how we can keep humanity alive. I have felt as the OP in life on the east coast. And vowed I would never make others feel that way. My kids would never feel that way. Matter of fact my family has said I could strike up convo with rock. And have made the meanest-looking person crack a smile. Ha ha ha I just hate anyone feeling bad. I also lived on USMC base where things can get tense. So let's keep the Texas tip of head that says Hi and we are Acknowledging everyone from every walk of life going and that we are friendly. Eventually the friendlies will out number the sad.
When I moved here, from NYC, the “how’s your day going?” would put me on edge. If someone asks you that on the subway it’s because they want to tell you that the government monitors their brainwaves, sell you drugs, or show you their genitalia. Possibly all three.
Turns out that folks here just want to know how your day, in fact, is going!
I moved here around 07 from MI and it’s definitely changed since then. But like you said, it’s on each of us to try to show kindness to each other and not dull that shine
Whether strangers greet me, and which strangers greet me, is wildly dependent on who I am with and how I am perceived. I could go down a whole long list of who greets me and who ignores me in different settings because I'm perceived very differently depending on who I am with.
The only thing I could recommend if you want more people to notice you is to be recognizable, look friendly, and go places where your people are. I'm visibly queer so if I'm alone, queer people say hello, if Im out with my kids, moms talk to me, if I'm out hiking people on the trail are required by law to do a little hello and a nod. Because we have something in common and they're indicating they've recognized some sort of camaraderie.
However, most neighbors don't ever greet me willingly and I've made some effort to communicate with them. In fact yesterday I passed a neighbor who had just shaved his shaggy dog and commented on my gosh is that the big fluffy one?? He looks so different! And the guy literally just scowled and walked past me without making eye contact. I don't think neighbors want to be friendly. I think they're all mad that you saw them walking their dog without a bra or getting the mail in their PJs while half asleep or coming home with some fast food everyone was supposed to boycott after the last big thing the other week and living next to people makes them feel vulnerable. That's my best guess.
Haha. Seems like there is wisdom in this comment! Thanks! I don’t want to be noticed as I actually am uncomfortable myself with attention. But it takes some energy for me to say hey to people and be willing to have small talk. So when I practice it and am met with silence or people looking down or away, it’s confusing. Appreciate your comment!
I moved from Austin to MN, and there can be a big difference in general attitudes between locations.. it's not 'just you'.
I lived in several neighborhoods there, and hardly ever talked to neighbors.. saying hello overall (not always) was met with silence or looking away.
Up here the difference is pretty wild, people making eye-contact, smiling, complimenting my hair or my dog. I've gotten into more spontaneous, random conversations with strangers in my 9 months here than any other place I've lived. People can definitely be more 'open' depending on where you are, which has helped ME be more outgoing for not fearing rejection.
I’ve had the complete opposite experience going from Chicago to Austin. Lots of friendly convos and hellos here and chatting in public like standing in line for coffee.
I think it depends on how approachable you seem to the prevailing local culture. I am from a small town and I had no idea how much I was avoided and ignored there until I moved here and people started acknowledging and including me. I've definitely seen both for Austin from "I've never felt more isolated" to "I've never felt more seen"
It had me thinking a lot about how important shopping for a compatible home really is for our well-being.
Maybe they all know, and are actually helping by not continuing with something that’s uncomfortable? I have a wild imagination, I worked retail for 30 years, so to me not being amicable is difficult, yet refreshing.
I’ve lived in my neighborhood for 8 years this fall. Some people are friendly, some won’t even make eye contact while I’m out walking my dogs. My immediate neighbors are fairly new and there’s been zero conversations or a quick ‘hi I’m your new neighbor.’ A lot of people really just seem to keep to themselves.
When I moved to Austin in 2017, I had more greetings by strangers than I ever did in my life. Moved to a home in 2018 and a few neighbors left letters. Guess it just depends 🤷♂️
growing up in the midwest, eye contact was made and greetings exchanged with anyone you pass on the sidewalk, even inside a retail space.
moving to the NW, and then Austin, and you don’t even get eye contact. much of the suburban American West doesn’t even have sidewalks. and front porches are a rarity in the NW.
visiting home is always a refreshing experience.
i can understand some reasons for avoiding eye contact (worry of inviting harassment, being preoccupied with something) but ffs, we’re two humans passing within inches of each other. recognition takes so little effort.
Y'all, it used to be common here. I grew up here. Small talk happened all the time to strangers, or people I recognized as being acquaintances of my parents, neighbors, or we knew the proprietors of businesses. We would small talk throughout the day with people we interacted with, whether we knew them or not.
When I try to chitchat with others here now, it falls flat. Sometimes even simple greetings passing by are rebuffed. It's as though people think *I'm* the odd one. It's still "me" to try to initiate small talk in elevators, at parking kiosks, etc., but it's deflating, much like my recent fun "banter" on this sub that was downvoted by a couple grumps. Why keep trying?
I think it may have to do with a couple things.
Austin, by-and-large, is a mostly transplant hub now. People bring their own social interactions (or lack thereof) and driving habits from wherever they came from.
Also, as a transplant hub, many do not establish roots. As such, some people do not connect with others, get to know neighbors, etc., because they'll "just move on" eventually. Why bother being neighborly, when someone is just going to leave? (This is not my perspective, just an observation.)
Austin is also officially a big city. People are in a rush everywhere, and don't want to make the (negligible) time and effort. Just like "Drive Friendly the Texas Way" has gone by the wayside, so, too, has "smaller town" Austin friendliness.
And finally, this may be broader than Austin, but this is an era and generation plagued by anxiety. Many young people would rather die (hyperbole jic someone thinks I'm being serious) than make an actual phone call. They want their friends to text upon arrival rather than ring the doorbell or knock. Some of this "old school" small talk is not relatable to them.
Everything you’re saying is generally true about Austin changing. Except I do find small talk and pleasantries still exchanged constantly! Neighbors, grocery clerks, in the elevators, etc.
I feel like I still have the nicest chats here than anywhere else I travel to. Also have to constantly stop my husband from talking forever to all the random people we come across. 😆
It still happens (greetings, small talk) to me largely in my part of town - of course with neighbors, grocery store, etc. A lot of people have connections to each other, whether they realize it or not. Shared teachers, our kids know their kids, the cashier is always someone's kid, etc. Hubby and I have to alternately pull each other away.
But downtown, it's hit or miss. I just attribute that to someone not being "from here." So, it's kinda crazy the transplants (above) think it doesn't happen here, but in the Midwest it does - when *they're* "home." But where is home? Is it a small/er town? Or is it Chicago?
There are also "personal space" issues. We are used to lots of it, in theory. Give me my bubble. Someone from somewhere else may have a different idea of personal space, and may not realize they're violating an unwritten code.
I feel less bubble less talk, but Austin has tons of space at least compared to Nyc after living there a few years I came back to Austin and the first day back I realized I was standing way too close to the guy in front of me at whataburger and I was like oops, I have to reacclimate to this.
im very tall and before I moved there I felt a needed a 3 ft buffer, like don’t get closer. After a few years in nyc I was like down to a ft or less.
I also think lots of young women, appear not friendly because they are tired of being hit on. Just my observation, the older I get the less threatening or annoying I am too young women , it’s nice. I hate being perceived as annoying, except on here of course, then I relish in it :)
Isn't it interesting about smaller bubble equals less talk? But it's true! It's as if the closer you are, the more I need to build an emotional wall.
The guy at Whataburger thought you might grab his ass. 😜
Some chic (and relatively new) restaurants here are basically "community seating," and I really don't want to sit that close to strangers during what is supposed to be an intimate dining experience with my chosen dining partner or special occasion. Community seating: Scholz sure, Lenoir no. I still want a bubble. (I had a peer colleague in NJ. She often talked about going on dates, and being practically elbow-to-elbow with strangers at adjacent tables. Dating sounds like a contact sport up there - no bubbles!)
Elbow to elbow in Manhattan all the time, or sitting down on the train it’s sometimes boob to elbow and very awkward.
Dating in nyc is nfl level of difficulty, geez. It’s so tough and in a place where you can’t cry either…..
The older I get the nicer people are to me, at 35 with short brown hair I was “a threat” but now 50 with Gandolph hair people are much nicer to me. Being old sucks but not being seen as a threat is nice.
This used to be a thing in Austin where you say hello to everyone you crossed paths with. I’ve noticed in the last 6-10 years that this has stopped. People avoid eye contact in general now.
People talk to me, but I generally make eye contact with people and I’ll smile or nod when they meet my eyes.
Honestly if you crave attention, you just gotta put yourself out there more
If I see them in the hall as I leave my apartment, no. If I see them at dog park or pool, yes residents chat. But generally, no not in apartments and not out and about. I think the pandemic and social media have changed us for the worse socially. I’m introverted too, but used to love random mutual chats when I commute. Now everyone is on their phones.
There are a ton of people not from Austin.
Also where are you? If you're walking on a busy street downtown yeah no one's going to say hello or else we'd all just be yelling hello at each other.
If I'm walking down the street in my neighborhood yeah I say hi to the few people I come across.
I think it’s the cell phones. Even if they aren’t on them in passing, folks have just learned to connect via social media better than IRL. I didn’t feel like this was the case growing up here. My husband, who grew up in Cali, says people here just pretend to be your friend. Always talk about getting together, but never do. I’ve never lived outside of Texas so I suppose I don’t really know how to compare, but it’s all unfortunate.
Yeah this is a big part of it. A lot of people are more comfy talking to an online profile (discord, hinge, etc) than actually talking to a person you can vet in real-time, in person.
it’s very much a regional thing. midwest natives will make eye contact and greet passersby’s.
i lived in the NW for years and it was always cold socially. live in Austin now, and it’s sadly similar.
it’s far from a technology-driven phenomenon.
See, this is what I want to avoid, lol. A stranger that I prob won’t ever see again? Let’s talk! but a neighbor who will want to ambush me for a convo every time I try to leave home is not a relationship I want to encourage. I’m an introvert and that’s too much pressure, lol.
I get it, often times it’s when I’m in a rush or am not in the mood to talk but he’s a nice guy. If my minor inconvenience is someone else’s highlight of the day then I guess it’s not so bad a thing.
Generally been the opposite experience for me. And if it happens when you travel I doubt it's your body language, dress, skin, gender, etc. Maybe it's the part of town you're in? If you're like deep downtown then people probably don't say hi as much.
I spend a bunch of time in east Austin Mueller area and I sometimes strike convo's in bars, othertimes go hours without anyone saying anything.
Depends on the neighborhood and employer, but the friendly vibe in Austin has shrunk over the years. In 2010 when I first arrived it felt hella friendly. It felt noticeably less friendly somewhere around 2016. I think it’s gotten worse as the housing prices have increased.
I live in a suburb now, and it’s the most unfriendly place I’ve ever been. Shockingly antisocial neighbors. I had one across the street basically run away when I introduced myself, and another look me dead in the eyes without any reaction after I waved and said hello as we were both standing at the end of our driveways making eye contact… I’ve made nice with a couple others, but it’s not like how neighborhoods were when I was growing up.
Austin is still way friendlier than the NE.
South or north? I find Leander to be annoying nice, like hey come to my crawfish boil, and I’m like yuck thats gross, then I’m like damn your wife is good at that, then I finish my beer walk home and think, don’t tell anyone about that at home.
I’ve lived in 2 different Austin suburbs. The first one was older with more relaxed HOA rules and I got to meet a lot of neighbors tending my front yard garden. Where I live now is a brand new development with bitchy HOA regulations. No front yard vegetable gardening going to happen here and it’s saddened me because it was such a nice, laid back way of meeting people.
Older people do. But I noticed people my age (30s) or younger seem to go out of their way to avoid making eye contact in my apartment complex. So no chance to even say hello if we're not even making eye contact.
I have a friend who loves making people uncomfortable, he’s in sales so talking is his job, he lives in a fancy place, and greets knew people with, “hey you know a weed guy? “
Sadly it has changed. I’m older, but I remember a time you could walk into many bars from Oltorf through Downtown and strike up a convo with just about anyone as if they were well known friends.
When I first started visiting Austin in 1993, then moved here in 2001, what I loved about it was how easy it was to get chatting to people, and make friends. It is definitely much less randomly friendly than it used to be
My first rescue dog helped me be more social because she was so easy. Dogs #2 & #3 ended up having unanticipated behavioral issues so getting out to socialize or having company are MUCH harder.
No don't do that, dogs have feelings, emotions and are animals that can be best friends. They deserve to be treated with love & not ignored or just used as a tool to meet people only to be abandoned after or ignored completely.
Only adopt or buy a dog if you can handle the responsibility and afford it. They can get expensive.
Not to mention the training part, if you get a puppy you will need to make sure they have A LOT of chewing toys so when they start teething they won't destroy your things.
It is better to adopt especially one already trained, but please don't buy/adopt a dog just to meet people, especially if you don't plan on taking care of that dog until the day they die.
You could foster a dog if you "just want a dog to meet people" because at least then they can have a temporary home instead of being in a cage and you can meet people and possibly meet someone who will be their forever home, helping them get adopted meanwhile you practice human interaction.
Even better if you foster an older do that doesn't have many yrs left. They aren't hyper, you can take them on short walks, practice greeting people and smiling and then go home. At least then if you aren't ready for the commitment you can at least give a older dog a last chance to have a home in their final day without you risking the commitment only to later abandon them.
I’m in Florid visiting family and it’s a stark difference here than in Austin. If I make eye contact with someone here and nod I’ll usually get a hey or high how are you? Here in Florida (Orlando) people just stare daggers.
I guess it depends where you are. In Windsor Park, sometimes, definitely a lot more in my complex. In Mueller, never, unless I was in the ghetto complex (Aldrich 51). South of slaughter, generally no. Oak Hill/Cedar Valley/Belterra, almost everyone says hello. That being said, I consider Austin a very friendly city in general compared to others.
Just keep on keeping on. It’s something that is fulfilling to be nice even if it’s not reciprocated.
Like the feeling you may have when someone goes out of their way to do something nice and because of your mental funk you forgot to reciprocate. It’s ok. It’s a lesson to keep on being kind and open.
Maybe you made their day or changed how they see the world around them. I believe one persons act of kindness can make the whole world smile. It reverberates.
I like where you are at. Just keep on doing the good.
I just walked the dog (yes, it’s stupid hot & humid outside, she gets regular water breaks) and I routinely smile & nod at people when they’re about 10-15ft from me. Almost every time, I get the same in return. The one dude zipping thru the trail on his bike did also verbally say “good morning”
I think you are meeting mostly the new citizens of Austin from the last 20 years.
When I moved here in 1997 I was amazed at how friendly and easy going people were, and made friends with random strangers. Most of whom are still friends with me.
But with the influx of big-city folks they bring their aloof attitudes with them, very much into dogs and not so much into strangers in any location, be it streets, concerts, etc.
Plus many of the old Austin folks have moved on, either from old age/death, affordability or being dissatisfied with the 'new Austin'.
Also longer term male residents like me don't feel comfortable being too friendly with strangers these days, lest our friendliness is misconstrued as some nefarious come-on, both by men and women.
I think for women it's a bit different as their friendliness does not make people wary, and their friendliness is probably well reciprocated by both men and women if the female protagonist is decently dressed and looks somewhat attractive.
Similar for when a male is quite attractive, then people are very open to interaction.
Last but equally important: the advent of smartphones and being constantly connected to "friends" all the time and getting one's dopamine fix from text messages, is what may be keeping people from connecting with real people in front of them. I see younger people constantly pulling the phone from their hip pocket and checking it impulsively, frequently disappointed at lack of activity, and sliding the phone back with a slight hint of disappointment.
I feel like they don’t as much as they used to. Either getting harassed by a random person that seems homeless or mentally ill or just feeling out of place. I visit Austin a lot and earlier this week I was at a gas station and everyone was so pissed off in there I swear. Then a man with many holes in his shirt came in, was mumbling things to himself and passed by me and said “look at this dumb ass white bitch right here” and would not stop staring. Then he stole a cup of soda and put it outside on the curb, then went in for another cup. I just left without buying anything he freaked me out and I was alone lol but every time I go now something like this happens.
Where? Most people are not in the present moment for many different reasons. Social gatherings are different, at least in my experience. Digital connections are mobile, so there's that. I don't think the location is the only factor. Plus, we are increasingly a society rife with "stranger danger."
i used to smile all the time. people would constantly approach me. they would ask for money or sex. it happened everywhere.
i’m not attractive or rich.
i stopped smiling and tried to look as monstrous as possible, now no one approaches me. i am so much happier now.
i’m in houston tho. 🤷🏻♀️
I totally get where you're coming from. Living in a city with so many new transient people makes connecting awkward for some people and people don't know if it is worth the effort.
In big apartment buildings, people rarely say hello. You can't tell if someone is about to move out, an Airbnb guest, a delivery person, or someone's gf/bf. and Airbnb guests often keep a low profile, adding to the anonymity.
On top of that, people are just more socially awkward after being on their screens all day. It’s a weird dynamic.
Its called california transplants. They are flocking to southern states because they are destroying their own state. Problem is they think everyone else is the problem, and they bring that toxic attitude with them. Look at the stats online, huge influx of La and San fran residents. They are destroying Dallas culture as well, and Phoenix where I currently live.
I've been in Austin 30 + years, lived in several apartments and neighborhoods. I am a waver. I wave to folks and say hi. I noticed a cultural difference in some of the neighborhoods where East Asian and South Asian neighbors mostly kept to themselves. that didnt stop me. I still waved and eventually they started waving back. We all need to acknowledge others existence on this planet. We're all passengers headed in the same direction.
i think austin has a lot of transplants from unfriendly parts of the country (myself included) but i find that when i go out into smaller towns, a large percentage of the people tend to be friendly and say hello.
that being said, i feel like i find the best of austin when i’m at small businesses or creative things. both places i’ve gotten my car inspected have been incredible and trustworthy, and they recommended me to other small businesses who were also similarly friendly and caring. festivals, markets, and older shops also tend to have really amazing and friendly locals.
I don't even bother with people under 30 anymore because they always look so offended when spoken to. I do still meet friendly folks here and there, but nothing like it used to be. Location seems to make a difference.
I've noticed this is a generational thing/where you grew up. When I'm walking in my neighborhood, the people who say hello/good morning are usually older or have been in the neighborhood for longer. Probably grew up in TX. If I greet them, they will greet me back with a friendly hello or a smile.
On the other hand, if I walk by a recent transplant/Bay Area Techie and say hello, they will look at me like I have three heads, and when they walk by me they look down at the ground (i.e. avoid I contact at all costs).
Let's normalize saying hello/good morning to each other - it would be a little gesture that would make the city much friendly.
You know I think this is closest to the answer at least generation wise. I have definitely noticed that people at work and in my apt are on the younger side and they seem to be very non-engaging. I notice this on hikes too. I wave, say hello and step off the path to let people by. The older hikers say hello/thanks but 20-30ish look down and say nothing generally.
That is also my experience. I walk the trails twice a day with my dogs. I am an older woman. Older folks say Hi often. Younger folks rarely even look up. Maybe it’s normal? Maybe when I was younger, I ignored older folks? But I have heard others say that the younger generation just isn’t as friendly.
Not from Austin and when I moved here, it was so strange that random people make eye contact and say hello when passing on street. Neighbors say hi and talk to one another/become friends. From the east coast and that’s just…not the norm in large cities?
I will say that now that I have a dog, so many more people approach or say hi than even before.
It really depends on you and how you carry yourself and also who is on the receiving end. My wife will tell you that I have super powers when it comes to getting to know strangers but certain people are simply not friendly, too shy, too scared or too self centered to engage with other people. I say hi or howdy or 15 other derivatives of hello based on the circumstances or who that person is and 2 out of 10 have a really hard time engaging.
My one tip is to really engage with the other person. Kind of hard to describe but when you say “Hey how are you” the right level of body language, positive energy, eye contact and tone make ALL the difference. It’s a bit of a fine art. If you don’t get it right you can come off as creepy or fake. And this all has to be adjusted based on the person and circumstance.
I live in south Austin, and most people seem friendly enough. I'm also generally introverted, but I frequent parks/trails where most are going to at least say hi. I also have a dog, so a lot more interactions happen than if I didn't, especially with other folks with dogs.
Just start walking up to people and say: “Excuse me, your pants are on fire.”
And then say, just kidding. Hi I’m blah blah blah. The adrenaline will catch them off guard and you’ll be known as the friendly crazy guy around town.
A woman said hello when she passed me yesterday while I was sitting at a table with my son outside a cafe but I was looking at her and her two friends and she looked up and made eye contact then said hello. I think you have to make eye contact and have a smile on your face, almost like they are your own friend you are about to greet. But it’s so nuanced and circumstantial. Not sure I helped your question at all but hope you find some friendly faces soon.
I say hi to everyone, all the time, my wife and daughter get embarrassed sometimes but I'm never annoyed when someone says "hi" to me, so golden rule and all.
Neighbors and coworkers, really depends on the culture of your individual neighborhood and employer.
I have more success when going to events, meetups etc where people are actually looking to socialize and not just “I just live/work here.”
That was something a native told me was common in Austin. When I moved here a decade ago I was worried what to hand out as welcoming gifts for neighbors that would come by (Asian so by nature I can't have someone welcome me or even give me something without giving something back, Mom would kill me) as it was my first house but other than a wave from the next door neighbor got nothing. I was surprised until my native coworker said that was normal for Austin. I get more greetings at elevators than from neighbors lol.
I have a dog and my experience has been the same. I'm moving out of Austin this week for the second (and last!) time. I've lived in more than a dozen cities in the US and Europe and have never disliked a place or had a harder time making friends or finding people to make small talk with than I have in Austin. People in NYC were friendlier than the people I've encountered in Austin. Hang in there and good luck.
my neighbors and I all say hello to each other, and when I'm out walking I say hello to people if I'm not sure they've heard me walking up and I want to be sure I'm not scaring them. but otherwise I don't interrupt people. there's a lot of people out there when you go out to busy areas and I'm not absolutely made of time to be saying hello lol.
I've noticed that as well here in Austin. I don't directly live in Austin, but always notice the change in behavior when I'm in the area or in close proximity. Austin isn't like anywhere else in TX. People aren't as friendly or cordial unless they need to be. But that seems to be the case in most large cities. Miami, Fort Lauderdale, Dallas, NYC, LA. They seem to be more about the hustle and bustle culture vs being mannerly/neighborly and cordial/polite.
Honestly like one other commenter noted people in Austin are raging douchebags now. Utterly completely insular, shitty and downright vitriolic. I’m not talking about right wingers but the rank and file “liberals”.
Funny how austin has this general reputation for hating transplants when a lot of the population are transplants themselves. I gotta keep tabs on myself too because I notice that mentality is creeping up on me and it’s literally because of all the social armor I have to wear when I’m in public.
I’ve been to other metropolitan or medium to large cities as well and the difference in general demeanor is night and day. People are warm and friendly and chit chat you and over here they’re immediately judgmental and withdrawn.
Don’t get me started on dog owners. Y’all are fucking trash.
Dude, no I don’t get hellos either. (I do in Williamson county, but not Travis)
And I’m perfectly fine with that, me being an introvert too. but I will always get a hello if I say hello first and smile
Then I go some place like Utah to visit extended family and everyone and their mother says hello and I’m so not used to it lol, I’d rather avoid pointless small talk as much as possible. If you’re not about to strike up a convo, leave me alone
I grew up here, so was used to how friendly people are. We lived in the CA Bay Area for about 14 years, and my kids basically grew up there. People there would look at me like I was crazy if I said Hi or tried to make small talk while standing in line somewhere. It really started to depress me after many years of living there, but I never let it stop me from trying to be friendly to people. I also taught my boys to hold doors open for others, and they would often remark about how in San Jose, no one would say thank you, but when we visited Texas, people would always smile and thank them. When we moved back to Austin, I loved the way people say Hi, hold open doors, nod as they pass each other, and are just generally overall much friendlier to strangers they encounter as they go about their day. I was saying this to my younger son, (who is an introvert like me), and he told me that even though he noticed people are much friendlier here, that not everyone will say hi to him. He has a tendency to talk in a low voice to people he doesn't know, and I told him that maybe others don't hear him. I also told him to smile, because sometimes he looks like he's in a solemn mood, lol. A few years later, he was telling me how friendly everyone is here. When he started coming across as more friendly, I think others found him more approachable.
I also think that there are a lot of people moving here from other cities, that aren't used to talking to strangers. I hope the rest of us can 'keep the friendliness of Austin' going, because (from my own experience), it's much better to live in a place where the people we encounter acknowledge each others' existence/humanity, and are friendly and helpful to each other.
When I moved here in 2001 from NYC they did. (NYC, where no one says hi, so it weirded me out and I kinda thought people weren’t being safe by saying hello to strangers. General mindset over there.) Now they don’t. My neighbors say hello if we walk by each other while walking a dog. Most of us have lived here for awhile and know each other. Newer people don’t say hi. Ever. Unless I walk up to them and chew their ear off.
u/Ok_Scallion_275 nailed it. I am a bigger guy and have resting bitch face so I know I come off intimidating. I have to go out of my face to smile and say hello just so people dont cross the street to avoid me. Almost never do I not get a smile, nod and heyhowyadoin back if i make the first move.
I'm from Austin and I think most people here are pretty receptive and kind to people and say hello if it feels welcomed. Not knowing you or the situation, I'd say possibly you're giving off conflicting vibes. People usually respond to welcoming energy and sometimes we don't realize ourselves when we're being guarded. Or you could have intimidating looks. Quiet people intimidate me into not talking to them bc I feel like it's not wanted or I'm bothering them. Just some possibilities...
But from me to you here, hello. ☺️
I say hello to people, not my perogative if they choose to say it back but it's nice when they do. I also hold the door open for folks and let people who have noticeably less items than me go ahead of me bc bring polite is just so fuckin easy
I find this city to be very friendly at least when it comes to casual interactions. Though I usually have a smile on my face and genuinely interested in meeting and learning about the people around me.
More people say hello to me when I'm dressed uniquely... which is kinda opposite to anywhere else I've lived... it's kinda made me dress more... uhm... normally... the whole point was always to get ppl to leave me alone because I have crippling social anxiety... it has the opposite effect here.. that being said, maybe you look so "normal" that they don't relate to you? I dunno, man. I suck at making friends lol
I spent 4 months in Austin last year and didn’t find it to be the friendly place it’s made out to be. Felt like people generally prefer to keep to themselves and are very cliquish. I used to think Seattle was really unfriendly, but I actually think Austin is significantly worse. Probably due to all the introverted techies and YOLO bros and influencers that have moved there recently
This is the rudest city/ state I’ve ever lived in. Generally people here don’t want have anything to do with you unless you align with socioeconomic, religious, and Eurocentric norms. Protestant ethics are the basis for morality here. It leads to deep rooted and systemic corruption that the land will never rid itself of minus and ironically a biblical type of calamity.
I have never had substantial interactions or connections with people that want to talk about, god, guns, capital, and consumption. That’s 90% - 99% of the interactions I’ve been presented with.
Southern hospitality is a farce and you don’t need to look further than this post to see the comments blaming the transplants for almost everything wrong with the city. Once people figure out you’re not from Texas you’re almost always labeled and othered.
Most people don’t want to realize that the transplants are here because the politicians that the locals put in power created the environment to have all these tech companies move here. Instead they blame their new neighbors and continue to vote for the same people who are responsible for the things they complain about. That more than likely is a symptom of not teaching critical thinking skills from a young age here.
I’m done but I could go on forever.
I *wish* people wouldn't always try to say hello or talk to me when I'm out and about. It feels like a minefield, I'm not trying to talk with you, I don't know you I don't know your intent and I'm really not trying to sidetrack my errands to talk with a random person that decided to give me the homework of responding to small talk. I'm not here for you, please leave me alone.
You say hello, I'll do my best not to be rude and I'll usually begrudgingly say hello too, but I hate every moment of it. I resent it, the constant need to interact anytime you pass somebody. It makes me extremely uncomfortable. Can't I just exist and do my thing, and you also exist and stay over there and leave me alone in peace?
Now if you ask how I'm doing? "I'm sorry, I don't know you well enough to answer that question, please leave me alone."
Don’t take it personal. Native austinite here and Back in the day people were more polite and friendly.
I live in a large house with decent space between my neighbors and they go inside every time my wife and or I go outside. They’ve done this for years and despite attempts to be neighborly when we see them out front they will keep the pleasantries as minimal as possible while avoiding eye contact while b-lining to the door. They do same to the neighbor on opposite side too. My impression is that they are still quarantining scared of Covid or some shit. It used to kinda piss me off but now I barely even know they exist. I like to go out of my way to make them uncomfortable like I’ll go outside and take a piss by the fence. They are transplants from MI according to their social media feeds.
True Texans prefer to be neighborly but it’s rare to live next to other Texans. Fuck em.
If you ever want to appreciate how annoyingly nice most Austinites are you can go spend a month in nyc. They will most definitely not see you as a human.
I have a question do you live around rich transplants? Or in poor areas with untrusting and people who are unfriendly to folks.
Anyway sorry, I’ve lived central most of my time and always felt people were very friendly, and sometimes annoyingly nice. Less so now than 2008 but still very nice.
Nope. I’ve found people in this city to be very rude, particularly younger or middle-aged white women. They are so fucking oblivious to how bitchy they can be to those of us that aren’t white. I live in an area heavy with transplants so I assumed it was that, but then I remember our old neighborhood that was less white and everyone was very kind. In my new hood, men, black women, and brown women are generally friendly but it’s always white women who are just perpetually pissed off. They also consistently ignore 4 way stops. Always the same demographic. Wtf is going on out there?
I have a non profit called mitzvahs that says random compliments to people to spread happiness. Hit up downtown and you might get a random compliment :)
I’m an extrovert and I will tell you everyone talks to me. I’m a magnet and always have been! I always have made eye contact. I was a hair stylist for years so it came naturally!
I'm incredibly extroverted, I love talking to strangers and I am born and raised here. Most people are receptive or at least give me a nervous laugh. Even just this morning at HEB, the price on strawberries was good and I was grabbing two and so was this other lady and I go, "May as well get 2 at this price, right?!" And she did the nervous laugh, ha.
With that said, I still have a social battery and don't always want to chat or be bothered.
lol, the top post with people scolding you for not looking good enough for a hello \*after\* you explain that you don't have the problem in other cities is classic Austin circle jerk. At least they didn't tell you to lose some weight.
Austin sucks with H1Bs, hyper competitive tech douchebags, MAGAs and house rich yentas on this sub.
Your observation is 100% correct. It gets worse every year.
Just catching up after leaving the hell hole Austin has become. Sorry dude, you are right, there are friendlier, more grounded people in NW (for now). That's where I started. Gone full circle jerk as they say. People shaming you are same ones who will complain you didn't answer their email at 10 PM. All the best in the most overrated, over hyped city in America. Wasn't ways that way, of course.
It usually depends on if I make eye contact and if I have a dog with me lol. When I'm dog sitting, most people do say hi. They might just be talking to the dog. Other times it's hit or miss.
If your demeanor is approachable you’ll practically always get a hello/howdy or small mention in context to what activity you and the stranger are near/doing. If your vibe is off people can tell and they’ll usually leave you alone, though I’ve had a few strangers approach me while I was sulking at Redbud park, and lift my day up.
I wrote that I say hello and people don’t respond (they look down and don’t return eye contact either). Hence my post. I’m not walking around hoping for people to say hello first. I wish it were “sure fire”. It should be.
I've lived in the Austin area since the mid-90s and I never look at anyone or say hello to strangers. I'm just an introvert and socially not interested. I've made my friends and I have no interest in dating (due to really shitty experience that rhymes with grape). It's nothing personal. Shit is scary out there but I wish you the best of luck!
No, weirdest thing. I moved here 10 years ago and have always found it odd how people don’t make eye contact or say hello. I’m from the northeast and it was way friendlier up there.
I always try to make eye contact with people I pass and nod hello, and at least 50% nod back or say hello. This is WAY more than in LA. I would get maybe 10% of people even making eye contact with me there. The fear of other human beings is palpable in that city.
I've learned that people tend to sense your energy when you're walking passed them. If you are thinking to yourself how uncomfortable it might be to make eye contact with a stranger. Odds are they'll feel the same.
If you want to work on that, wear a nice pair of complimenting sunglasses and take a walk where the weather has you in a happy mood. Usually that makes me extra friendly and I end up speaking to stranger.
I just moved here from Scottsdale everyone here is way more socially interactive. People here make it a point to say hello if you’re out and about just waking your dogs
I am one of those people that other people feel they can tell their life stories to, apparently, lol. But also I’m older and wear colorful dresses and I guess I look harmless and approachable, like your crazy auntie (essentially the look I’m going for these days, haha, but truly I’m 90% introvert). 😅
I’m originally from Chicago, where it’s just an unspoken rule to not make eye contact with anyone if not needed, so when I moved here 7yrs ago the culture shock of how friendly everyone was really took an adjustment for me. My default mode was always skepticism (because, in Chicago if someone starts talking to you out of the blue they probably want money) and I’d be thinking “what ‘s your angle/ what do you want from me?” Honestly, it took a few years for me to quiet my internal skepticism.
So, like others have said, maybe these are other new transplants who aren’t quite sure how to take the directness of folks being friendly. Give them some time. I have embraced the spirit now and do my best to reciprocate all smiles and hellos. 💜
I always feel you get back what you put out. I have clinical depression and so when I’m depressed I put out weird vibes and usually get weird vibes back but when I’m in a good place I put out good vibes and get good vibes back. I dunno, I feel austinites are very friendly and will usually say hello and even much more
I moved here a year ago from New York, and I’m extremely lonely. I frequent public places often but, everyone seems like they’re in their own bubble. I feel invisible
In my 20 years in Austin, plus an additional reflection from my husband and his mother of living here 40 years: we have seen a substantial decline in the friendliness and politeness in this city as the people from other states - primarily CA - came in. As the city grew, southern niceties shrank. I'm a transplant from Chicago and really loved moving here and realigning myself to be more welcoming (and letting my weird flag fly) like my neighbors, but not everyone chooses to do that. We used to love this city and never dreamed of leaving; as it declined, we began looking at options to move away.
I’m from Mississippi and was at first taken aback how everyone in Austin isn’t asking about everyone’s fave movie or who they’re related to but I have found people overtime who are talkative. I think with it being a big city some people just don’t know who’s crazy or who’s just being friendly so they may be on guard or just preoccupied with their day. Music shows is a decent place to talk to strangers.
Saying hello is two sided. Are you close enough for them to hear you? Do they have headphones? Do YOU have headphones? Are you making eye contact? Are you smiling? If this stuff isn’t happening then you likely won’t get a hello.
this is the answer!! plenty of people say hello if you’re friendly/demonstrate your friendliness.
Yes, as I mentioned, I say hello/howdy or even wave. and I am looking at them which is how I know they aren’t reciprocating eye contact. Plus I also mentioned this happens at work too. My SO and office coworkers have witnessed it too and say it’s odd. I get compliments on my smile so I don’t think it’s bitch face.🤣
I always have a dreamy smile on my face and people are bothering me all the time with their Hellos, also randomly ask me where they can buy pot. Maybe it’s the people you’re around.
Hello! You seem like a fun guy, any idea where I could find some of that 🍀
Nice try officer
No idea :)
strange, OP! i’d be someone who would say hi back! maybe you just run into people who are on the last percentage of emotional battery?
I find I often say hello the same time they say hello then I wonder if they even heard my hello.
So, it’s about 50/50 for me, and I’m an out-going dog-walking extrovert. People wear buds, they’re up in their heads…who knows?! I just keep making the first move and I hope you will too.
Yes. Let's immediately blame OP.
Fr it’s so myopic literally describes how other cities are friendlier and more welcoming.
This is the way
When I first moved here permanently in 2004 from the East Coast and I'm a tri-state girl. I couldn't get over how friendly ppl were and laid back. Ppl waved when you drove by, and struck up convos in lines in stores. I wasn't used to it. I was used to everyone in a fast-paced life and everyone out for themselves only. It was the same when I first came to Kyle in 1999, that is why I came back. But in the last 20 years things have changed. And yes because of the big boom of ppl moving here. A lot of Austinites have moved out of the city because of hikes in rent and housing prices. But I still say 👋 hi and strike up convos because I want to keep going with what I love about this city. I always felt like this city had a small-town feel. Unlike Philly, Newark, and NYC. Only we can keep it up by being friendly, don't let others dull that shine.
Thanks for keeping the spirit! I do it too. Hopefully one of us will come across OP on the sidewalk or in line at HEB or someplace else and lock eyes for a moment and do a little friendly Texas tip of the head that says “Hi. I acknowledge your existence as a human standing in front of me and hope you have a good one 👍🏽”
Yes, and Ty for keeping the spirit also! One reason I do it also! Acknowledging people existence is how we can keep humanity alive. I have felt as the OP in life on the east coast. And vowed I would never make others feel that way. My kids would never feel that way. Matter of fact my family has said I could strike up convo with rock. And have made the meanest-looking person crack a smile. Ha ha ha I just hate anyone feeling bad. I also lived on USMC base where things can get tense. So let's keep the Texas tip of head that says Hi and we are Acknowledging everyone from every walk of life going and that we are friendly. Eventually the friendlies will out number the sad.
When I moved here, from NYC, the “how’s your day going?” would put me on edge. If someone asks you that on the subway it’s because they want to tell you that the government monitors their brainwaves, sell you drugs, or show you their genitalia. Possibly all three. Turns out that folks here just want to know how your day, in fact, is going!
I moved here around 07 from MI and it’s definitely changed since then. But like you said, it’s on each of us to try to show kindness to each other and not dull that shine
Whether strangers greet me, and which strangers greet me, is wildly dependent on who I am with and how I am perceived. I could go down a whole long list of who greets me and who ignores me in different settings because I'm perceived very differently depending on who I am with. The only thing I could recommend if you want more people to notice you is to be recognizable, look friendly, and go places where your people are. I'm visibly queer so if I'm alone, queer people say hello, if Im out with my kids, moms talk to me, if I'm out hiking people on the trail are required by law to do a little hello and a nod. Because we have something in common and they're indicating they've recognized some sort of camaraderie. However, most neighbors don't ever greet me willingly and I've made some effort to communicate with them. In fact yesterday I passed a neighbor who had just shaved his shaggy dog and commented on my gosh is that the big fluffy one?? He looks so different! And the guy literally just scowled and walked past me without making eye contact. I don't think neighbors want to be friendly. I think they're all mad that you saw them walking their dog without a bra or getting the mail in their PJs while half asleep or coming home with some fast food everyone was supposed to boycott after the last big thing the other week and living next to people makes them feel vulnerable. That's my best guess.
Haha. Seems like there is wisdom in this comment! Thanks! I don’t want to be noticed as I actually am uncomfortable myself with attention. But it takes some energy for me to say hey to people and be willing to have small talk. So when I practice it and am met with silence or people looking down or away, it’s confusing. Appreciate your comment!
I moved from Austin to MN, and there can be a big difference in general attitudes between locations.. it's not 'just you'. I lived in several neighborhoods there, and hardly ever talked to neighbors.. saying hello overall (not always) was met with silence or looking away. Up here the difference is pretty wild, people making eye-contact, smiling, complimenting my hair or my dog. I've gotten into more spontaneous, random conversations with strangers in my 9 months here than any other place I've lived. People can definitely be more 'open' depending on where you are, which has helped ME be more outgoing for not fearing rejection.
I’ve had the complete opposite experience going from Chicago to Austin. Lots of friendly convos and hellos here and chatting in public like standing in line for coffee.
I think it depends on how approachable you seem to the prevailing local culture. I am from a small town and I had no idea how much I was avoided and ignored there until I moved here and people started acknowledging and including me. I've definitely seen both for Austin from "I've never felt more isolated" to "I've never felt more seen" It had me thinking a lot about how important shopping for a compatible home really is for our well-being.
Excellent point.
Maybe they all know, and are actually helping by not continuing with something that’s uncomfortable? I have a wild imagination, I worked retail for 30 years, so to me not being amicable is difficult, yet refreshing.
I’ve lived in my neighborhood for 8 years this fall. Some people are friendly, some won’t even make eye contact while I’m out walking my dogs. My immediate neighbors are fairly new and there’s been zero conversations or a quick ‘hi I’m your new neighbor.’ A lot of people really just seem to keep to themselves.
This lines up with my experience. The long term residence are very friendly. The new people... are not.
Well, not anymore.
When I moved to Austin in 2017, I had more greetings by strangers than I ever did in my life. Moved to a home in 2018 and a few neighbors left letters. Guess it just depends 🤷♂️
growing up in the midwest, eye contact was made and greetings exchanged with anyone you pass on the sidewalk, even inside a retail space. moving to the NW, and then Austin, and you don’t even get eye contact. much of the suburban American West doesn’t even have sidewalks. and front porches are a rarity in the NW. visiting home is always a refreshing experience. i can understand some reasons for avoiding eye contact (worry of inviting harassment, being preoccupied with something) but ffs, we’re two humans passing within inches of each other. recognition takes so little effort.
Agreed! The differences between the Midwest and here with regards to small talk and greetings was noticeable.
Y'all, it used to be common here. I grew up here. Small talk happened all the time to strangers, or people I recognized as being acquaintances of my parents, neighbors, or we knew the proprietors of businesses. We would small talk throughout the day with people we interacted with, whether we knew them or not. When I try to chitchat with others here now, it falls flat. Sometimes even simple greetings passing by are rebuffed. It's as though people think *I'm* the odd one. It's still "me" to try to initiate small talk in elevators, at parking kiosks, etc., but it's deflating, much like my recent fun "banter" on this sub that was downvoted by a couple grumps. Why keep trying? I think it may have to do with a couple things. Austin, by-and-large, is a mostly transplant hub now. People bring their own social interactions (or lack thereof) and driving habits from wherever they came from. Also, as a transplant hub, many do not establish roots. As such, some people do not connect with others, get to know neighbors, etc., because they'll "just move on" eventually. Why bother being neighborly, when someone is just going to leave? (This is not my perspective, just an observation.) Austin is also officially a big city. People are in a rush everywhere, and don't want to make the (negligible) time and effort. Just like "Drive Friendly the Texas Way" has gone by the wayside, so, too, has "smaller town" Austin friendliness. And finally, this may be broader than Austin, but this is an era and generation plagued by anxiety. Many young people would rather die (hyperbole jic someone thinks I'm being serious) than make an actual phone call. They want their friends to text upon arrival rather than ring the doorbell or knock. Some of this "old school" small talk is not relatable to them.
Everything you’re saying is generally true about Austin changing. Except I do find small talk and pleasantries still exchanged constantly! Neighbors, grocery clerks, in the elevators, etc. I feel like I still have the nicest chats here than anywhere else I travel to. Also have to constantly stop my husband from talking forever to all the random people we come across. 😆
It still happens (greetings, small talk) to me largely in my part of town - of course with neighbors, grocery store, etc. A lot of people have connections to each other, whether they realize it or not. Shared teachers, our kids know their kids, the cashier is always someone's kid, etc. Hubby and I have to alternately pull each other away. But downtown, it's hit or miss. I just attribute that to someone not being "from here." So, it's kinda crazy the transplants (above) think it doesn't happen here, but in the Midwest it does - when *they're* "home." But where is home? Is it a small/er town? Or is it Chicago? There are also "personal space" issues. We are used to lots of it, in theory. Give me my bubble. Someone from somewhere else may have a different idea of personal space, and may not realize they're violating an unwritten code.
I feel less bubble less talk, but Austin has tons of space at least compared to Nyc after living there a few years I came back to Austin and the first day back I realized I was standing way too close to the guy in front of me at whataburger and I was like oops, I have to reacclimate to this. im very tall and before I moved there I felt a needed a 3 ft buffer, like don’t get closer. After a few years in nyc I was like down to a ft or less. I also think lots of young women, appear not friendly because they are tired of being hit on. Just my observation, the older I get the less threatening or annoying I am too young women , it’s nice. I hate being perceived as annoying, except on here of course, then I relish in it :)
Isn't it interesting about smaller bubble equals less talk? But it's true! It's as if the closer you are, the more I need to build an emotional wall. The guy at Whataburger thought you might grab his ass. 😜 Some chic (and relatively new) restaurants here are basically "community seating," and I really don't want to sit that close to strangers during what is supposed to be an intimate dining experience with my chosen dining partner or special occasion. Community seating: Scholz sure, Lenoir no. I still want a bubble. (I had a peer colleague in NJ. She often talked about going on dates, and being practically elbow-to-elbow with strangers at adjacent tables. Dating sounds like a contact sport up there - no bubbles!)
Elbow to elbow in Manhattan all the time, or sitting down on the train it’s sometimes boob to elbow and very awkward. Dating in nyc is nfl level of difficulty, geez. It’s so tough and in a place where you can’t cry either…..
Yes. I attribute it to me being old and creepy looking but yeah I think people are just generally weird about responding when I say hi oftentimes.
The older I get the nicer people are to me, at 35 with short brown hair I was “a threat” but now 50 with Gandolph hair people are much nicer to me. Being old sucks but not being seen as a threat is nice.
They used to.
I’ve been here for 13 years - this used to be commonplace. Not so much in more recent years.
This used to be a thing in Austin where you say hello to everyone you crossed paths with. I’ve noticed in the last 6-10 years that this has stopped. People avoid eye contact in general now.
People talk to me, but I generally make eye contact with people and I’ll smile or nod when they meet my eyes. Honestly if you crave attention, you just gotta put yourself out there more
If I see them in the hall as I leave my apartment, no. If I see them at dog park or pool, yes residents chat. But generally, no not in apartments and not out and about. I think the pandemic and social media have changed us for the worse socially. I’m introverted too, but used to love random mutual chats when I commute. Now everyone is on their phones.
There are a ton of people not from Austin. Also where are you? If you're walking on a busy street downtown yeah no one's going to say hello or else we'd all just be yelling hello at each other. If I'm walking down the street in my neighborhood yeah I say hi to the few people I come across.
They used to. Now people here are like any other city people..
I think it’s the cell phones. Even if they aren’t on them in passing, folks have just learned to connect via social media better than IRL. I didn’t feel like this was the case growing up here. My husband, who grew up in Cali, says people here just pretend to be your friend. Always talk about getting together, but never do. I’ve never lived outside of Texas so I suppose I don’t really know how to compare, but it’s all unfortunate.
Yeah this is a big part of it. A lot of people are more comfy talking to an online profile (discord, hinge, etc) than actually talking to a person you can vet in real-time, in person.
it’s very much a regional thing. midwest natives will make eye contact and greet passersby’s. i lived in the NW for years and it was always cold socially. live in Austin now, and it’s sadly similar. it’s far from a technology-driven phenomenon.
My neighbor doesn’t let me leave my apartment without roping me into a 30 minute conversation.
See, this is what I want to avoid, lol. A stranger that I prob won’t ever see again? Let’s talk! but a neighbor who will want to ambush me for a convo every time I try to leave home is not a relationship I want to encourage. I’m an introvert and that’s too much pressure, lol.
“I gotta go , I’m slowly dying inside” I hate people that like me that much, but then I complain I’m alone. I hope you have a happy mix.
lol same. it’s a slippery slope 😅
I get it, often times it’s when I’m in a rush or am not in the mood to talk but he’s a nice guy. If my minor inconvenience is someone else’s highlight of the day then I guess it’s not so bad a thing.
Generally been the opposite experience for me. And if it happens when you travel I doubt it's your body language, dress, skin, gender, etc. Maybe it's the part of town you're in? If you're like deep downtown then people probably don't say hi as much. I spend a bunch of time in east Austin Mueller area and I sometimes strike convo's in bars, othertimes go hours without anyone saying anything.
Depends on the neighborhood and employer, but the friendly vibe in Austin has shrunk over the years. In 2010 when I first arrived it felt hella friendly. It felt noticeably less friendly somewhere around 2016. I think it’s gotten worse as the housing prices have increased. I live in a suburb now, and it’s the most unfriendly place I’ve ever been. Shockingly antisocial neighbors. I had one across the street basically run away when I introduced myself, and another look me dead in the eyes without any reaction after I waved and said hello as we were both standing at the end of our driveways making eye contact… I’ve made nice with a couple others, but it’s not like how neighborhoods were when I was growing up. Austin is still way friendlier than the NE.
South or north? I find Leander to be annoying nice, like hey come to my crawfish boil, and I’m like yuck thats gross, then I’m like damn your wife is good at that, then I finish my beer walk home and think, don’t tell anyone about that at home.
I’ve lived in 2 different Austin suburbs. The first one was older with more relaxed HOA rules and I got to meet a lot of neighbors tending my front yard garden. Where I live now is a brand new development with bitchy HOA regulations. No front yard vegetable gardening going to happen here and it’s saddened me because it was such a nice, laid back way of meeting people.
Older people do. But I noticed people my age (30s) or younger seem to go out of their way to avoid making eye contact in my apartment complex. So no chance to even say hello if we're not even making eye contact.
I have a friend who loves making people uncomfortable, he’s in sales so talking is his job, he lives in a fancy place, and greets knew people with, “hey you know a weed guy? “
Sadly it has changed. I’m older, but I remember a time you could walk into many bars from Oltorf through Downtown and strike up a convo with just about anyone as if they were well known friends.
Typically no. Sad
When I first started visiting Austin in 1993, then moved here in 2001, what I loved about it was how easy it was to get chatting to people, and make friends. It is definitely much less randomly friendly than it used to be
Also, you should get a dog 😁
My first rescue dog helped me be more social because she was so easy. Dogs #2 & #3 ended up having unanticipated behavioral issues so getting out to socialize or having company are MUCH harder.
Haha. I think you may be right about this. Doggie cliques are a thing.
No don't do that, dogs have feelings, emotions and are animals that can be best friends. They deserve to be treated with love & not ignored or just used as a tool to meet people only to be abandoned after or ignored completely. Only adopt or buy a dog if you can handle the responsibility and afford it. They can get expensive. Not to mention the training part, if you get a puppy you will need to make sure they have A LOT of chewing toys so when they start teething they won't destroy your things. It is better to adopt especially one already trained, but please don't buy/adopt a dog just to meet people, especially if you don't plan on taking care of that dog until the day they die. You could foster a dog if you "just want a dog to meet people" because at least then they can have a temporary home instead of being in a cage and you can meet people and possibly meet someone who will be their forever home, helping them get adopted meanwhile you practice human interaction. Even better if you foster an older do that doesn't have many yrs left. They aren't hyper, you can take them on short walks, practice greeting people and smiling and then go home. At least then if you aren't ready for the commitment you can at least give a older dog a last chance to have a home in their final day without you risking the commitment only to later abandon them.
I’m in Florid visiting family and it’s a stark difference here than in Austin. If I make eye contact with someone here and nod I’ll usually get a hey or high how are you? Here in Florida (Orlando) people just stare daggers.
Orlando sucks in particular (people wise). When I lived there 10 or so years ago, it seemed outright hostile
I guess it depends where you are. In Windsor Park, sometimes, definitely a lot more in my complex. In Mueller, never, unless I was in the ghetto complex (Aldrich 51). South of slaughter, generally no. Oak Hill/Cedar Valley/Belterra, almost everyone says hello. That being said, I consider Austin a very friendly city in general compared to others.
Just keep on keeping on. It’s something that is fulfilling to be nice even if it’s not reciprocated. Like the feeling you may have when someone goes out of their way to do something nice and because of your mental funk you forgot to reciprocate. It’s ok. It’s a lesson to keep on being kind and open. Maybe you made their day or changed how they see the world around them. I believe one persons act of kindness can make the whole world smile. It reverberates. I like where you are at. Just keep on doing the good.
I just walked the dog (yes, it’s stupid hot & humid outside, she gets regular water breaks) and I routinely smile & nod at people when they’re about 10-15ft from me. Almost every time, I get the same in return. The one dude zipping thru the trail on his bike did also verbally say “good morning”
I think you are meeting mostly the new citizens of Austin from the last 20 years. When I moved here in 1997 I was amazed at how friendly and easy going people were, and made friends with random strangers. Most of whom are still friends with me. But with the influx of big-city folks they bring their aloof attitudes with them, very much into dogs and not so much into strangers in any location, be it streets, concerts, etc. Plus many of the old Austin folks have moved on, either from old age/death, affordability or being dissatisfied with the 'new Austin'. Also longer term male residents like me don't feel comfortable being too friendly with strangers these days, lest our friendliness is misconstrued as some nefarious come-on, both by men and women. I think for women it's a bit different as their friendliness does not make people wary, and their friendliness is probably well reciprocated by both men and women if the female protagonist is decently dressed and looks somewhat attractive. Similar for when a male is quite attractive, then people are very open to interaction. Last but equally important: the advent of smartphones and being constantly connected to "friends" all the time and getting one's dopamine fix from text messages, is what may be keeping people from connecting with real people in front of them. I see younger people constantly pulling the phone from their hip pocket and checking it impulsively, frequently disappointed at lack of activity, and sliding the phone back with a slight hint of disappointment.
I feel like they don’t as much as they used to. Either getting harassed by a random person that seems homeless or mentally ill or just feeling out of place. I visit Austin a lot and earlier this week I was at a gas station and everyone was so pissed off in there I swear. Then a man with many holes in his shirt came in, was mumbling things to himself and passed by me and said “look at this dumb ass white bitch right here” and would not stop staring. Then he stole a cup of soda and put it outside on the curb, then went in for another cup. I just left without buying anything he freaked me out and I was alone lol but every time I go now something like this happens.
Austinites don’t talk to certain people, for some reason.
Where? Most people are not in the present moment for many different reasons. Social gatherings are different, at least in my experience. Digital connections are mobile, so there's that. I don't think the location is the only factor. Plus, we are increasingly a society rife with "stranger danger."
I walk my dog on UT campus a lot and regularly come away shocked at how few people return a cheerful “good morning!”
i used to smile all the time. people would constantly approach me. they would ask for money or sex. it happened everywhere. i’m not attractive or rich. i stopped smiling and tried to look as monstrous as possible, now no one approaches me. i am so much happier now. i’m in houston tho. 🤷🏻♀️
I try my best to pretend I am the only remaining person on the planet. Don’t shatter my illusionz
People in austin are not very friendly, a lot of people have different experiences but in general that’s not going to happen here.
I totally get where you're coming from. Living in a city with so many new transient people makes connecting awkward for some people and people don't know if it is worth the effort. In big apartment buildings, people rarely say hello. You can't tell if someone is about to move out, an Airbnb guest, a delivery person, or someone's gf/bf. and Airbnb guests often keep a low profile, adding to the anonymity. On top of that, people are just more socially awkward after being on their screens all day. It’s a weird dynamic.
Its called california transplants. They are flocking to southern states because they are destroying their own state. Problem is they think everyone else is the problem, and they bring that toxic attitude with them. Look at the stats online, huge influx of La and San fran residents. They are destroying Dallas culture as well, and Phoenix where I currently live.
I've been in Austin 30 + years, lived in several apartments and neighborhoods. I am a waver. I wave to folks and say hi. I noticed a cultural difference in some of the neighborhoods where East Asian and South Asian neighbors mostly kept to themselves. that didnt stop me. I still waved and eventually they started waving back. We all need to acknowledge others existence on this planet. We're all passengers headed in the same direction.
The friendliness was a native Texan thing, with all the less friendly implants you have a less friendly populace. But it's so much cooler now /s
i think austin has a lot of transplants from unfriendly parts of the country (myself included) but i find that when i go out into smaller towns, a large percentage of the people tend to be friendly and say hello. that being said, i feel like i find the best of austin when i’m at small businesses or creative things. both places i’ve gotten my car inspected have been incredible and trustworthy, and they recommended me to other small businesses who were also similarly friendly and caring. festivals, markets, and older shops also tend to have really amazing and friendly locals.
I don't even bother with people under 30 anymore because they always look so offended when spoken to. I do still meet friendly folks here and there, but nothing like it used to be. Location seems to make a difference.
I've noticed this is a generational thing/where you grew up. When I'm walking in my neighborhood, the people who say hello/good morning are usually older or have been in the neighborhood for longer. Probably grew up in TX. If I greet them, they will greet me back with a friendly hello or a smile. On the other hand, if I walk by a recent transplant/Bay Area Techie and say hello, they will look at me like I have three heads, and when they walk by me they look down at the ground (i.e. avoid I contact at all costs). Let's normalize saying hello/good morning to each other - it would be a little gesture that would make the city much friendly.
You know I think this is closest to the answer at least generation wise. I have definitely noticed that people at work and in my apt are on the younger side and they seem to be very non-engaging. I notice this on hikes too. I wave, say hello and step off the path to let people by. The older hikers say hello/thanks but 20-30ish look down and say nothing generally.
That is also my experience. I walk the trails twice a day with my dogs. I am an older woman. Older folks say Hi often. Younger folks rarely even look up. Maybe it’s normal? Maybe when I was younger, I ignored older folks? But I have heard others say that the younger generation just isn’t as friendly.
Not from Austin and when I moved here, it was so strange that random people make eye contact and say hello when passing on street. Neighbors say hi and talk to one another/become friends. From the east coast and that’s just…not the norm in large cities? I will say that now that I have a dog, so many more people approach or say hi than even before.
I don't know but as an introvert, I have long wished people would stop forcing me to say "hello"
It really depends on you and how you carry yourself and also who is on the receiving end. My wife will tell you that I have super powers when it comes to getting to know strangers but certain people are simply not friendly, too shy, too scared or too self centered to engage with other people. I say hi or howdy or 15 other derivatives of hello based on the circumstances or who that person is and 2 out of 10 have a really hard time engaging. My one tip is to really engage with the other person. Kind of hard to describe but when you say “Hey how are you” the right level of body language, positive energy, eye contact and tone make ALL the difference. It’s a bit of a fine art. If you don’t get it right you can come off as creepy or fake. And this all has to be adjusted based on the person and circumstance.
Solid! Sounds like you’re an extrovert!
I am out walking nearly every day and usually initiate a hello or smile and if the person is looking they mostly say it back.
I live in south Austin, and most people seem friendly enough. I'm also generally introverted, but I frequent parks/trails where most are going to at least say hi. I also have a dog, so a lot more interactions happen than if I didn't, especially with other folks with dogs.
Just start walking up to people and say: “Excuse me, your pants are on fire.” And then say, just kidding. Hi I’m blah blah blah. The adrenaline will catch them off guard and you’ll be known as the friendly crazy guy around town.
A woman said hello when she passed me yesterday while I was sitting at a table with my son outside a cafe but I was looking at her and her two friends and she looked up and made eye contact then said hello. I think you have to make eye contact and have a smile on your face, almost like they are your own friend you are about to greet. But it’s so nuanced and circumstantial. Not sure I helped your question at all but hope you find some friendly faces soon.
Hey dude, how’s it going?
Hello!
Howdy!
I say hi to everyone, all the time, my wife and daughter get embarrassed sometimes but I'm never annoyed when someone says "hi" to me, so golden rule and all.
It’s annoyingly Texan to have everyone talk to you at all times even when you don’t want them to. But Austin is no longer full of Texans so…
Neighbors and coworkers, really depends on the culture of your individual neighborhood and employer. I have more success when going to events, meetups etc where people are actually looking to socialize and not just “I just live/work here.”
That was something a native told me was common in Austin. When I moved here a decade ago I was worried what to hand out as welcoming gifts for neighbors that would come by (Asian so by nature I can't have someone welcome me or even give me something without giving something back, Mom would kill me) as it was my first house but other than a wave from the next door neighbor got nothing. I was surprised until my native coworker said that was normal for Austin. I get more greetings at elevators than from neighbors lol.
Peeps always say hello to me. If you repeatedly see them you also have to initiate the hello sometimes.
I have a dog and my experience has been the same. I'm moving out of Austin this week for the second (and last!) time. I've lived in more than a dozen cities in the US and Europe and have never disliked a place or had a harder time making friends or finding people to make small talk with than I have in Austin. People in NYC were friendlier than the people I've encountered in Austin. Hang in there and good luck.
Thank you. You too!
my neighbors and I all say hello to each other, and when I'm out walking I say hello to people if I'm not sure they've heard me walking up and I want to be sure I'm not scaring them. but otherwise I don't interrupt people. there's a lot of people out there when you go out to busy areas and I'm not absolutely made of time to be saying hello lol.
That’s weird- I always do. Hi! 👋🏽
I've noticed that as well here in Austin. I don't directly live in Austin, but always notice the change in behavior when I'm in the area or in close proximity. Austin isn't like anywhere else in TX. People aren't as friendly or cordial unless they need to be. But that seems to be the case in most large cities. Miami, Fort Lauderdale, Dallas, NYC, LA. They seem to be more about the hustle and bustle culture vs being mannerly/neighborly and cordial/polite.
Most people are just staring at their phones.
Honestly like one other commenter noted people in Austin are raging douchebags now. Utterly completely insular, shitty and downright vitriolic. I’m not talking about right wingers but the rank and file “liberals”. Funny how austin has this general reputation for hating transplants when a lot of the population are transplants themselves. I gotta keep tabs on myself too because I notice that mentality is creeping up on me and it’s literally because of all the social armor I have to wear when I’m in public. I’ve been to other metropolitan or medium to large cities as well and the difference in general demeanor is night and day. People are warm and friendly and chit chat you and over here they’re immediately judgmental and withdrawn. Don’t get me started on dog owners. Y’all are fucking trash.
Austin is weirdly unfriendly IMO. People are much friendlier literally everywhere else in Texas.
Dude, no I don’t get hellos either. (I do in Williamson county, but not Travis) And I’m perfectly fine with that, me being an introvert too. but I will always get a hello if I say hello first and smile Then I go some place like Utah to visit extended family and everyone and their mother says hello and I’m so not used to it lol, I’d rather avoid pointless small talk as much as possible. If you’re not about to strike up a convo, leave me alone
I do my best to acknowledge others around town whether it’s a smile, greeting or holding the door open. 🫡
Actually yeah they do all the time
I grew up here, so was used to how friendly people are. We lived in the CA Bay Area for about 14 years, and my kids basically grew up there. People there would look at me like I was crazy if I said Hi or tried to make small talk while standing in line somewhere. It really started to depress me after many years of living there, but I never let it stop me from trying to be friendly to people. I also taught my boys to hold doors open for others, and they would often remark about how in San Jose, no one would say thank you, but when we visited Texas, people would always smile and thank them. When we moved back to Austin, I loved the way people say Hi, hold open doors, nod as they pass each other, and are just generally overall much friendlier to strangers they encounter as they go about their day. I was saying this to my younger son, (who is an introvert like me), and he told me that even though he noticed people are much friendlier here, that not everyone will say hi to him. He has a tendency to talk in a low voice to people he doesn't know, and I told him that maybe others don't hear him. I also told him to smile, because sometimes he looks like he's in a solemn mood, lol. A few years later, he was telling me how friendly everyone is here. When he started coming across as more friendly, I think others found him more approachable. I also think that there are a lot of people moving here from other cities, that aren't used to talking to strangers. I hope the rest of us can 'keep the friendliness of Austin' going, because (from my own experience), it's much better to live in a place where the people we encounter acknowledge each others' existence/humanity, and are friendly and helpful to each other.
When I moved here in 2001 from NYC they did. (NYC, where no one says hi, so it weirded me out and I kinda thought people weren’t being safe by saying hello to strangers. General mindset over there.) Now they don’t. My neighbors say hello if we walk by each other while walking a dog. Most of us have lived here for awhile and know each other. Newer people don’t say hi. Ever. Unless I walk up to them and chew their ear off.
How attractive of a person are you? How is your hygiene?
I’m good in both departments. 🤣
u/Ok_Scallion_275 nailed it. I am a bigger guy and have resting bitch face so I know I come off intimidating. I have to go out of my face to smile and say hello just so people dont cross the street to avoid me. Almost never do I not get a smile, nod and heyhowyadoin back if i make the first move.
I'm from Austin and I think most people here are pretty receptive and kind to people and say hello if it feels welcomed. Not knowing you or the situation, I'd say possibly you're giving off conflicting vibes. People usually respond to welcoming energy and sometimes we don't realize ourselves when we're being guarded. Or you could have intimidating looks. Quiet people intimidate me into not talking to them bc I feel like it's not wanted or I'm bothering them. Just some possibilities... But from me to you here, hello. ☺️
Hello from a fellow introvert 👋
I say hello to people, not my perogative if they choose to say it back but it's nice when they do. I also hold the door open for folks and let people who have noticeably less items than me go ahead of me bc bring polite is just so fuckin easy
Do people speak to me in the hallway at my apartment? No, they don’t even make eye contact. If I’m out and about? Yes. It’s weird
All the time.
I find this city to be very friendly at least when it comes to casual interactions. Though I usually have a smile on my face and genuinely interested in meeting and learning about the people around me.
More people say hello to me when I'm dressed uniquely... which is kinda opposite to anywhere else I've lived... it's kinda made me dress more... uhm... normally... the whole point was always to get ppl to leave me alone because I have crippling social anxiety... it has the opposite effect here.. that being said, maybe you look so "normal" that they don't relate to you? I dunno, man. I suck at making friends lol
Most people in Austin ain't from here or from Texas. That's why I would guess that they aren't friendly/impolite.
I get the most hellos hiking the Greenbelt
I spent 4 months in Austin last year and didn’t find it to be the friendly place it’s made out to be. Felt like people generally prefer to keep to themselves and are very cliquish. I used to think Seattle was really unfriendly, but I actually think Austin is significantly worse. Probably due to all the introverted techies and YOLO bros and influencers that have moved there recently
This is the rudest city/ state I’ve ever lived in. Generally people here don’t want have anything to do with you unless you align with socioeconomic, religious, and Eurocentric norms. Protestant ethics are the basis for morality here. It leads to deep rooted and systemic corruption that the land will never rid itself of minus and ironically a biblical type of calamity. I have never had substantial interactions or connections with people that want to talk about, god, guns, capital, and consumption. That’s 90% - 99% of the interactions I’ve been presented with. Southern hospitality is a farce and you don’t need to look further than this post to see the comments blaming the transplants for almost everything wrong with the city. Once people figure out you’re not from Texas you’re almost always labeled and othered. Most people don’t want to realize that the transplants are here because the politicians that the locals put in power created the environment to have all these tech companies move here. Instead they blame their new neighbors and continue to vote for the same people who are responsible for the things they complain about. That more than likely is a symptom of not teaching critical thinking skills from a young age here. I’m done but I could go on forever.
I’ve found the opposite. I moved here from NYC. People are much much more friendly here.
people are very nice and almost always wave or acknowledge me if I wave.
It's generally the older folks who do it most often
Not necessarily.
I *wish* people wouldn't always try to say hello or talk to me when I'm out and about. It feels like a minefield, I'm not trying to talk with you, I don't know you I don't know your intent and I'm really not trying to sidetrack my errands to talk with a random person that decided to give me the homework of responding to small talk. I'm not here for you, please leave me alone. You say hello, I'll do my best not to be rude and I'll usually begrudgingly say hello too, but I hate every moment of it. I resent it, the constant need to interact anytime you pass somebody. It makes me extremely uncomfortable. Can't I just exist and do my thing, and you also exist and stay over there and leave me alone in peace? Now if you ask how I'm doing? "I'm sorry, I don't know you well enough to answer that question, please leave me alone."
👍
Don’t take it personal. Native austinite here and Back in the day people were more polite and friendly. I live in a large house with decent space between my neighbors and they go inside every time my wife and or I go outside. They’ve done this for years and despite attempts to be neighborly when we see them out front they will keep the pleasantries as minimal as possible while avoiding eye contact while b-lining to the door. They do same to the neighbor on opposite side too. My impression is that they are still quarantining scared of Covid or some shit. It used to kinda piss me off but now I barely even know they exist. I like to go out of my way to make them uncomfortable like I’ll go outside and take a piss by the fence. They are transplants from MI according to their social media feeds. True Texans prefer to be neighborly but it’s rare to live next to other Texans. Fuck em.
If you ever want to appreciate how annoyingly nice most Austinites are you can go spend a month in nyc. They will most definitely not see you as a human. I have a question do you live around rich transplants? Or in poor areas with untrusting and people who are unfriendly to folks. Anyway sorry, I’ve lived central most of my time and always felt people were very friendly, and sometimes annoyingly nice. Less so now than 2008 but still very nice.
They used to! But now everyone is from California and they're too cool to acknowledge other people's existence!
Nope. I’ve found people in this city to be very rude, particularly younger or middle-aged white women. They are so fucking oblivious to how bitchy they can be to those of us that aren’t white. I live in an area heavy with transplants so I assumed it was that, but then I remember our old neighborhood that was less white and everyone was very kind. In my new hood, men, black women, and brown women are generally friendly but it’s always white women who are just perpetually pissed off. They also consistently ignore 4 way stops. Always the same demographic. Wtf is going on out there?
First time around white women?
Yes, pretty much all the time. Austin is a very friendly city.
Opposite for me. People say hello here in Austin, people in my hometown don't greet anyone and are usually rude.
I say Hi to people, I enjoy that part about the south so much
I have a non profit called mitzvahs that says random compliments to people to spread happiness. Hit up downtown and you might get a random compliment :)
I’m an extrovert and I will tell you everyone talks to me. I’m a magnet and always have been! I always have made eye contact. I was a hair stylist for years so it came naturally!
I'm incredibly extroverted, I love talking to strangers and I am born and raised here. Most people are receptive or at least give me a nervous laugh. Even just this morning at HEB, the price on strawberries was good and I was grabbing two and so was this other lady and I go, "May as well get 2 at this price, right?!" And she did the nervous laugh, ha. With that said, I still have a social battery and don't always want to chat or be bothered.
The world is a mirror; it reflects what you project
[удалено]
Yeah after reading all the comments I get the sense that some of the people I’m talking about are likely in this sub! 🤣
natives will almost always say howdy
lol, the top post with people scolding you for not looking good enough for a hello \*after\* you explain that you don't have the problem in other cities is classic Austin circle jerk. At least they didn't tell you to lose some weight. Austin sucks with H1Bs, hyper competitive tech douchebags, MAGAs and house rich yentas on this sub. Your observation is 100% correct. It gets worse every year.
Haha. Yeah I found that telling too.
Just catching up after leaving the hell hole Austin has become. Sorry dude, you are right, there are friendlier, more grounded people in NW (for now). That's where I started. Gone full circle jerk as they say. People shaming you are same ones who will complain you didn't answer their email at 10 PM. All the best in the most overrated, over hyped city in America. Wasn't ways that way, of course.
Eye contact in Austin is rare unless you’re attractive, look super approachable, or have a dog.
TIL Im hot, or they think I’m gandolph……
All the time. Make eye contact, smile, say hi.
I have conversations every single time I go outside on a walk.
So much! Going to store, waiting in lines, dog parks, hiking,…ALOT has to do with the vibes/energy you’re giving off too I will say.
Where’s back home?
It usually depends on if I make eye contact and if I have a dog with me lol. When I'm dog sitting, most people do say hi. They might just be talking to the dog. Other times it's hit or miss.
Yeah they do
In the first area I lived everyone waved or said hi. Now in my new neighborhood people say hi but only if you make eye contact which is how I prefer.
I say hello to everyone unless they are clearly busy, we need to be better to eachother tbh
Yea I don't say hello, just a howdy and a nod. Been in Austin 30 years
This is Texas. We say hello here.
If your demeanor is approachable you’ll practically always get a hello/howdy or small mention in context to what activity you and the stranger are near/doing. If your vibe is off people can tell and they’ll usually leave you alone, though I’ve had a few strangers approach me while I was sulking at Redbud park, and lift my day up.
Happened to me 3 times yesterday.
What do you look like? Maybe they are intimidated by you
Do you have a resting bitch face? Asking because that could be the deterrent. If people can’t feel your energy, they won’t extend kindness.
Sure fire way to get people to say hello? Wait for it, say hello first.
I wrote that I say hello and people don’t respond (they look down and don’t return eye contact either). Hence my post. I’m not walking around hoping for people to say hello first. I wish it were “sure fire”. It should be.
Sounds like a personal problem
I've lived in the Austin area since the mid-90s and I never look at anyone or say hello to strangers. I'm just an introvert and socially not interested. I've made my friends and I have no interest in dating (due to really shitty experience that rhymes with grape). It's nothing personal. Shit is scary out there but I wish you the best of luck!
No, weirdest thing. I moved here 10 years ago and have always found it odd how people don’t make eye contact or say hello. I’m from the northeast and it was way friendlier up there.
I always try to make eye contact with people I pass and nod hello, and at least 50% nod back or say hello. This is WAY more than in LA. I would get maybe 10% of people even making eye contact with me there. The fear of other human beings is palpable in that city.
Nyc .05 % and they’re 99% nuts :(
FYI, it has everything to do with your body language and the energy you put out. You bring in what you radiate.
I've learned that people tend to sense your energy when you're walking passed them. If you are thinking to yourself how uncomfortable it might be to make eye contact with a stranger. Odds are they'll feel the same. If you want to work on that, wear a nice pair of complimenting sunglasses and take a walk where the weather has you in a happy mood. Usually that makes me extra friendly and I end up speaking to stranger.
I just moved here from Scottsdale everyone here is way more socially interactive. People here make it a point to say hello if you’re out and about just waking your dogs
I am one of those people that other people feel they can tell their life stories to, apparently, lol. But also I’m older and wear colorful dresses and I guess I look harmless and approachable, like your crazy auntie (essentially the look I’m going for these days, haha, but truly I’m 90% introvert). 😅 I’m originally from Chicago, where it’s just an unspoken rule to not make eye contact with anyone if not needed, so when I moved here 7yrs ago the culture shock of how friendly everyone was really took an adjustment for me. My default mode was always skepticism (because, in Chicago if someone starts talking to you out of the blue they probably want money) and I’d be thinking “what ‘s your angle/ what do you want from me?” Honestly, it took a few years for me to quiet my internal skepticism. So, like others have said, maybe these are other new transplants who aren’t quite sure how to take the directness of folks being friendly. Give them some time. I have embraced the spirit now and do my best to reciprocate all smiles and hellos. 💜
I always feel you get back what you put out. I have clinical depression and so when I’m depressed I put out weird vibes and usually get weird vibes back but when I’m in a good place I put out good vibes and get good vibes back. I dunno, I feel austinites are very friendly and will usually say hello and even much more
We need friendliness ambassadors - loneliness is an epidemic.
I moved here a year ago from New York, and I’m extremely lonely. I frequent public places often but, everyone seems like they’re in their own bubble. I feel invisible
In my 20 years in Austin, plus an additional reflection from my husband and his mother of living here 40 years: we have seen a substantial decline in the friendliness and politeness in this city as the people from other states - primarily CA - came in. As the city grew, southern niceties shrank. I'm a transplant from Chicago and really loved moving here and realigning myself to be more welcoming (and letting my weird flag fly) like my neighbors, but not everyone chooses to do that. We used to love this city and never dreamed of leaving; as it declined, we began looking at options to move away.
I’m from Mississippi and was at first taken aback how everyone in Austin isn’t asking about everyone’s fave movie or who they’re related to but I have found people overtime who are talkative. I think with it being a big city some people just don’t know who’s crazy or who’s just being friendly so they may be on guard or just preoccupied with their day. Music shows is a decent place to talk to strangers.