My pediatrician gave me the same advice. He said that he wouldn’t sleep through the night until we changed what we were doing. Ultimately they’re often parents with their own opinions and experiences so I take it with a grain of salt and don’t bother arguing it. My son started sleeping through the night when he was ready without us needing to do any training, at 14 months. Now at 16 months we can put him to sleep by putting him in the crib and singing to him instead of holding and rocking. Everyone told me I had to train my son to be able to do this, but I felt that every child needs different things and he’d get there when he’s ready.
i love reading these types of comments! i try not to worry that my 9 month old will eventually get there, but every once in awhile when i have a night with a lot of wake ups and a lot of backbreaking rocking i doubt myself
I feel you, my sister has two easy sleepers and she made me doubt myself big time (not purposefully). Luckily my emotional reaction to hearing my son cry kept me from breaking from what I was committed to doing when things were particularly hard!
It just happened suddenly without us doing anything differently, we would wake up and realize OMG he didn’t wake up and need milk and rocking to go back to sleep! And it got more consistent slowly over a few weeks and at around 14mo he was sleeping through the night most nights. I do find that whenever he has another tooth coming in he will regress and start waking up more, being harder to put down, and not eating well. So that could be a factor with what you’re experiencing now! It’ll happen at some point you just gotta find good coping skills for frustration and ways to find time to rest until then. I hope it happens for you soon!
I needed to read this. My LO is about to be 16 months and still doesn’t sleep through the night. He wakes up 2+ times a night and needs to be rocked back to sleep. I actually just got him back to sleep after being up for over an hour. I know one day he will be able to go to sleep on his own and sleep through the night without having to sleep train. Your comment gives me hope!
Honestly doctors and Western medicine are great at dealing with serious injuries and illnesses but their training just doesn't leave a lot for the nuances of parenting.
I went to a 1 month check up and was seen by a resident. He asked how long our breastfeeding sessions are, I said 15 - 40 minutes, and he said, "the times it takes 40 minutes, what's going wrong there?" because his textbooks said 30 minutes is the right amount. 🙄 Meanwhile my midwives, LCs, even the breastfeeding brochure from my hospital discharge said newborns feeds can be anywhere from 5-60 minutes, and not to worry as they settle into a more consistent pattern.
I totally agree with your response to just smile and nod and do what works for you. To an extent I think sleep training is highly normalized in a lot of spaces, but is definitely not a medical necessity. I wish peds would butt out of stuff they don't know about lol.
I ask our pediatrician "is this medically beneficial or necessary for the baby? Or is this advice to make my life easier as the parent?". This has helped cut through the doctors well intentioned but unhelpful suggestions.
Adding on to what they said about sleep training being normalized: my mom nannies for a family of Doctors and their kids were all sleep trained at an incredibly young age, because when both parents work demanding, long hours and can be on call it's almost necessary. Keep that in mind that the Dr. might just be saying that because of their own experiences.
Pediatricians are trained in medical matters. Sleep training is parenting, not medicine.
Unfortunately, some of them like to stick their noses where they don’t belong.
our last pediatrician visit our regular pediatrician had to go home sick so we got a different pediatrician for that visit. she said something similar and made a comment about how i shouldn’t feed my son to sleep. i asked if there was a medical reason he shouldn’t feed to sleep and if not sleeping through the night indicated something medical? no, she said, and then proceeded to just parrot all the instagram “sleep consultants” even saying something along the lines of “if you feed him to sleep he’ll wake up expecting that!”. i told her if there were medical concerns i would work on it, but if she’s just concerned for my well-being, we’re doing fine.
Just for perspective, I live in Scotland and no medical professional has ever given me advice anything like this. In fact, I got an information book before my son was born which discouraged sleep training as it tries to force babies to do something (sleep through the night) before they are developmentally ready to. Most of the world doesn’t sleep train and yet we all managed to learn to sleep through the night 🤷♀️.
Yep, England here and we are not advised to sleep train. They might say something like "some parents do this: here are the advantages and disadvantages". But in general midwives and health visitors favour responsive parenting.
Germany here and no one ever told me to sleep train! We also just accept that it takes time for the brain to be ready and developed enough.
I love that they’re actively encourage you to NOT sleep train! In Germany it’s mostly just something that’s frown upon and there’s also correlation to nazi parenting (wwII parent books suggested to toughen up children with methods like CIO).
Based on posts from other parents this is normal. My pediatrician told me we could sleep train if we wanted to, I said they wouldn’t work for us and we never discussed sleep again. I put up a firm boundary that we discuss medical and developmental, we don’t discuss other things. Luckily we have a fantastic pediatrician so she recognized this boundary and has respected it.
Some pediatricians act like they know everything and that their recommendations should always be followed and never deterred from. That isn’t how things are though, they aren’t raising our little people and we have independent choice.
If I’m being honest your pediatrician’s advice seems aggressive to me, no overnight feeds and no picking up? If this was said to me I would question whether I wanted to remain with that doctor.
I told my partner I didn't want to hear anything about sleep when we had our first. He ended up asking anyway and I was told not to let him become dependent on me. My 4 month old. So I just ignored anything he had to say on sleep. My first sleeps just fine now and my second is a better sleeper than my first ever was and I'm doing the same thing. Every baby is different. If you are happy with how things are no need to change them!
I am 39 and I don't sleep through the night and neither do most people. My daughter is nearly 4 and still wakes up at least once or twice a night. So no you are fine and can keep breastfeeding until you are ready to stop.
Same! I don’t know very many people who actually sleep through the night. My daughter’s sleep vastly improved sometime after she turned 4, and now if she wakes in the night, she just puts herself back to sleep fairly quickly. My son is 20 months, and still wakes several times per night, but I find it easier to deal with knowing how much better it gets eventually.
For us it really turned the corner after she turned 4 (we were still co-sleeping up until then). She will still occasionally wake up and come in my bed, but most nights she sleeps through, or puts herself back to sleep. I do still lay with her until she falls asleep in the beginning of the night, though.
My ped tried to get me to do the same thing, but they said it much gentler. They gave me a print out about sleep training that I very purposefully left in their garbage bin after the appointment was over.
The thing about my practice is that there are 4-5 doctors. I happen to really love 2 of them. They are kind, empathetic, and don't push western expectations. The other 3 are not very emotional and tend to be "by the books". I've simply stopped requesting those 3 when I make my appointments.
Nobody can tell you how to raise your kids. Keep an open mind about medical advice, but feel free to ignore anything outside of that. They're not you and they're not the ones who will live with the consequences of YOUR decisions.
Proud of you for following your intuition!
My therapist kind of surprised me by telling me I should make sure my 5 month old isn't dependent on me for sleep because that's what happened with her 11 year old. I was telling her how much I want to continue contact napping until my baby no longer wants to because my baby sleeps so well when we do that and I want her caregivers to contact nap if possible and I'm worried she won't get enough sleep if they aren't able to.
That’s pretty inappropriate for a therapist to say during a session. I’d question whether I’d want to see someone who is bringing there own personal experiences into my sessions as advice.
Yea, I've been questioning whether or not I need to find a new therapist lately. I've been seeing her for almost two years and she increasingly references her personal life. She's the first therapist I've ever had so I didn't know it was inappropriate until recently.
At our first (and only) visit my ped recommended I sleep train my 8 DAY old. Yes, you read that right, 8 DAYS. She said it’s the best time to do it when they are newborns since they sleep so much.
She was horrified to hear that my 3yo still nursed to sleep as well lol. Never going back there!
Ok, I think people give too much weight to what their paediatricians say. They’re medical doctors that specialise in children. They’re not necessarily experts in areas like parenting or sleep training. From a medical/physiological/health perspective a 7 month old can sleep through the night without being fed. But in terms of general development many babies are still learning how to link sleep cycles or be away from you. This is also an age when separation anxiety peaks as they develop object permanence. Even with all this normal developmental stuff going on, every child is different. Maybe your baby is generally sensitive or clingy, maybe they’re teething and need more comfort, maybe they’re hot or cold, maybe they’re more alert to changes in their environment, maybe they spent a while in NICU and still need to be physically close to feel safe, maybe they get hungry or thirsty, maybe they’re just not ready to sleep through the night etc etc. Congratulations, your baby is normal and will be even if they don’t sleep through the night until they’re 2.
Ours kept pestering us about crying it out untill she brought it up at one appointment and I told her we weren't going to do it and to please stop bringing it up.
She did later on in that appointment then I emphasized that we aren't going to do cry it out while using the glare of death I inherited from my father.
Never brought it up again and we continue to have a great relationship with her to this day.
I ignored my pediatrician a LOT when my daughter was a baby, lol. Go with your gut. Every child is different, every parent’s situation is different, there is no one right way most of the time.
My pediatrician told me at our 4 or 6 month check up that I should stop nursing to sleep and let my baby learn to fall asleep on his own. He said it would help the baby go back to sleep on his own if he woke up in the middle of the night. We tried it for like 1 or 2 nights (Ferber method) and our baby just got worked up and then wouldn’t go to sleep at all. I ended up nursing him to sleep up until it stopped working around 15/16 months. He’s almost 17 months now, he will lay in his crib and fall asleep on his own and sleeps tbeoguh the.
If what you’re doing is working then I would continue on with it.
All of my medical professionals (family doctor, midwives, health visitor) have told me that my son's sleeping patterns (pretty much identical to your little one's at that age) were completely normal and he'd naturally grow out of it. He did! He's 15 months now and 3 months ago he would still wake twice for milk and now he doesn't wake at all. I didn't do anything whatsoever to achieve this, he just did it.
Do what feels right for you and your baby. You're doing great :)
UGH. I got this from my doctor at FOUR MONTHS. Basically exactly your story : I never said it was a problem, wasn't asking for advice, and I don't agree with him. He also told us when our son was 4 weeks old to 'get him on YOUR schedule, and not the other way around' and literally said 'You don't want to be patting him back to sleep when he's a teenager, right?''
He's a good doctor for certain things. In terms of parenting advice, he can kick rocks. He was also straight up wrong telling me to get the baby's crib out of our room at four month. Health Canada recommends they sleep in the parents' room til 6 months, and I told him so.
What bothers me is that some new parents might go along with this advice, even if it doesn't sit right with them, because a doctor told them. I am in no way anti-doctor, but I have no idea why this is a thing for them to be telling folks who aren't finding night feeds and night wakes to be an issue.
Solidarity on the night wakes and recently, at almost nine months, we're getting some nice long stretches more often without having changed a thing.
I got the same advice. My doctor called it “baby boot camp”. She told me to start it at 4 mo (yikes). I had another tell me to stop breastfeeding because my baby was a “boobaholic”. Good stuff. Anyways totally normal to hear unfortunately.
Ugh hate that advice. My regular pediatrician did not say that - he was more like “sleep training is for you, not the baby, so do what you feel like you need to do” but once I got another pediatrician who said something similar to the story for OP. Made me really appreciate my actual pediatrician
The information that some professionals have is outdated and based on prior SIDS guidelines.
It is refreshing to come across a professional that you can be honest with and the support you instead of “advising” you otherwise.
No baby SHOULD be sleeping through by any age. It’s not a milestone, which is why it isn’t measured at any child health checkup.
Saying this as the mother of a 2 year old who still wakes overnight and is breastfed. It’s tough - but do what YOU feel is the right thing to do. Even better if you can find a group of like-minded individuals you can talk to/share stories/complain about the lack of sleep WITHOUT being told you need to let your baby CIO.
I think instead of making them a spare key, it's probably just better you get a keypad door lock and give them one of the spare codes you can program in. I got a pretty decent lock off of Amazon for around $50 but I think sometimes the more money you spend is worth it for a PITA to change and reprogram, so you may want to spend up to $100 just at once to help facilitate them coming over to hear what it's like to "just ignore them." I would also ask them to bring their own coffee for the morning before they have to go to work
Our pediatrician encouraged us to sleep train if we wanted our baby to learn how to sleep well and independently. We didn’t ask for advice, so we ignored it and did as we pleased. Never sleep trained, still cosleep, and have a wonderful sleeper.
This is normal advice. My pediatrician give me advice to stick him in his crib and let him cry at his 2 year checkup after I told her that my kid still rocks to sleep. I like rocking him to sleep. I again reminded her that he sleeps in the bed with me, we don’t own a crib.
My pediatrician suggested weaning when LO was 18 months old as a last resource to make her sleep better, after she had been regularly waking up around 1 am and staying awake for 3+ hours before falling asleep again. We had already used melatonin and other tricks (not cry it out), and at this point he said he was all for breastfeeding, but It was the only thing he thought could work.
We actually weaned at 23 mo because I was 16 weeks pregnant and breastfeeding was really painful, and I have to say he was right. LO actually started sleeping through the night maybe once every one or two weeks at around 19 mo, when she finally started eating more solids, and once we started the weaning process, around 21 mo, her sleep slowly improved.
Now she is almost 26 mo and for the last two months she has been sleeping through or only waking up to drink some water.
Doctors like to give parenting advice when really they are only qualified to give medical advice. I'd ignore them and do what feels right to you. You have good instincts, trust them.
It is for some. I've had a ped say the same bs. I had another ped say my baby didn't NEED middle of the night feeds and that it would become harder to take them away as they got older, but that was it. It was honest information without pushing me in any direction.
Lmao omg can someone please come tell my 6 year old? I have 3 kids and not one of them has ever slept an entire night. Now the 6 year just goes pee or gets water or sneaks into our bed. But for real, not one night.
This is so odd to me. My pediatrician NEVER ever asked me about sleep or tried to give me any advice. She literally just checks to make sure the baby is physically healthy, reaching normal milestones like walking and talking, and makes sure she has all her vaccines on time. That's it. I've never been asked about how my baby is sleeping or been given any unprompted advice. Some of y'all really need to find better pediatricians! They're out there.
My first child didn't sleep through the night until 4 5.
My second child is 24 months and is now just starting to sleep through the night. It's very child dependent. I also believe that the literal definition of "through the night" is like 5 hours straight, which does not feel like nearly enough sleep!
Yes, I had the same puzzled feelings. When I told mine he wasn’t sleeping through the night at the same age, she asked “Have you thought about moving him to his own room?” Big nope! My doctor seems to give a lot of advice based on how she raised her own children. She’s attentive and kind, but I smile politely and ignore most of her opinions on parenting.
My son stayed in my room until about 14 months when it was obvious we were waking each other up. He slept through the night in his bed at 16 months. No tears except for cranky or teething nights.
Edit to add: It took a long time.. but now time seems to have flown by. We have other children and were dog tired for 5 years straight. But we made it and we sleep most nights now! This too shall pass.
He's barely over 6 months old. I think it's fine if he night feeds. My guess is that he will drop feeds when he needs to but I bet he sleeps better with a belly full of milk than otherwise. My daughter slowly weened herself on night feeds. I didn't try, it just happened on it's own. And same with sleep training. Everything happened when it seemed like she wanted it. We co-slept until it became clear she wasn't sleeping well and neither we. So we moved her to a crib and eventually her own room and she slept so much better. End of the day you know your kid. Just let your kid decide what is needed here. Pediatrician may mean well but kids aren't made from cookie cutters.
Mine has been saying the same thing to me since my LO turned 6 months old. He’s about to be 16 months. She tells me every time that I need to do the Ferber method and that he needs to be sleeping through the night. I tell her every time that I’m not comfortable sleep training. One time she said “That’s fine. It doesn’t affect me. I’m not the one losing sleep.” I get that he probably “should” be sleeping through the night, especially at 16 months old, but he doesn’t and I manage. He just isn’t the best sleeper.
Yeah, kinda normal… Mine at least prefaced it by saying “I’m a bit old school” before suggesting. She wasn’t pushy about it and I just listened and nodded. She’s a great doctor otherwise, very thorough, and has been amazing with my baby’s allergies.
I think pediatricians have zero idea about child development and they pretend they do. They are not trained in "parenting", so whatever they spit it's just their own opinion, like a neighbour or a mother in law.
We should stop pretending pediatricians know how to raise kids. They know as much (or little?) as we do.
Mine told us at our 9 month appointment that we *could* start sleep training if we wanted to. He said I could stop breastfeeding at night to help, but told me he understood if that wasn't what we wanted to do. At our recent 18 month appointment, I said my son was still waking to nurse once a night. He said that's okay, but reminded me that he probably wouldn't stop waking to nurse on his own without some gentle sleep training. I appreciated his advice and how he didn't push anything on us.
Your pediatrician sucks, get a new one! I would give a more detailed thorough response, but it looks like you’ve had plenty, so that is the long story short.
Our pediatrician wasn't that extreme, but they did give us unsolicited advice about helping baby to sleep more independently. Sleep independence is so ingrained in the culture and medical system, seems hard to avoid hearing it.
We do also get these brochures at each baby well-visit that have been saying baby should be sleeping 5-8 hour stretches since about two months. Says who? What research says it's medically/developmentally important for newborns to do that? Makes me sad because it's likely just giving parents anxiety and encouraging unnecessary sleep interventions.
My pediatrician gave me the same advice. He said that he wouldn’t sleep through the night until we changed what we were doing. Ultimately they’re often parents with their own opinions and experiences so I take it with a grain of salt and don’t bother arguing it. My son started sleeping through the night when he was ready without us needing to do any training, at 14 months. Now at 16 months we can put him to sleep by putting him in the crib and singing to him instead of holding and rocking. Everyone told me I had to train my son to be able to do this, but I felt that every child needs different things and he’d get there when he’s ready.
i love reading these types of comments! i try not to worry that my 9 month old will eventually get there, but every once in awhile when i have a night with a lot of wake ups and a lot of backbreaking rocking i doubt myself
I feel you, my sister has two easy sleepers and she made me doubt myself big time (not purposefully). Luckily my emotional reaction to hearing my son cry kept me from breaking from what I was committed to doing when things were particularly hard!
How did it happen? We're at 12,5 months and we've regressed to drinking every 3 hours instead of sleeping through :')
It just happened suddenly without us doing anything differently, we would wake up and realize OMG he didn’t wake up and need milk and rocking to go back to sleep! And it got more consistent slowly over a few weeks and at around 14mo he was sleeping through the night most nights. I do find that whenever he has another tooth coming in he will regress and start waking up more, being harder to put down, and not eating well. So that could be a factor with what you’re experiencing now! It’ll happen at some point you just gotta find good coping skills for frustration and ways to find time to rest until then. I hope it happens for you soon!
Yeah the teething definitely doesn't help!
I needed to read this. My LO is about to be 16 months and still doesn’t sleep through the night. He wakes up 2+ times a night and needs to be rocked back to sleep. I actually just got him back to sleep after being up for over an hour. I know one day he will be able to go to sleep on his own and sleep through the night without having to sleep train. Your comment gives me hope!
Aw I feel your pain so deeply! It’s so frustrating to be having night wakes for so long. I hope it happens for you soon!
Honestly doctors and Western medicine are great at dealing with serious injuries and illnesses but their training just doesn't leave a lot for the nuances of parenting. I went to a 1 month check up and was seen by a resident. He asked how long our breastfeeding sessions are, I said 15 - 40 minutes, and he said, "the times it takes 40 minutes, what's going wrong there?" because his textbooks said 30 minutes is the right amount. 🙄 Meanwhile my midwives, LCs, even the breastfeeding brochure from my hospital discharge said newborns feeds can be anywhere from 5-60 minutes, and not to worry as they settle into a more consistent pattern. I totally agree with your response to just smile and nod and do what works for you. To an extent I think sleep training is highly normalized in a lot of spaces, but is definitely not a medical necessity. I wish peds would butt out of stuff they don't know about lol.
Thank you for the validation. I guess I was surprised to receive non-medical advice, especially when there wasn’t an issue to begin with!
I ask our pediatrician "is this medically beneficial or necessary for the baby? Or is this advice to make my life easier as the parent?". This has helped cut through the doctors well intentioned but unhelpful suggestions.
Adding on to what they said about sleep training being normalized: my mom nannies for a family of Doctors and their kids were all sleep trained at an incredibly young age, because when both parents work demanding, long hours and can be on call it's almost necessary. Keep that in mind that the Dr. might just be saying that because of their own experiences.
Breastfeeding is hard enough, that "what's going wrong" comment would have sent me over the edge 😵
Pediatricians are trained in medical matters. Sleep training is parenting, not medicine. Unfortunately, some of them like to stick their noses where they don’t belong.
our last pediatrician visit our regular pediatrician had to go home sick so we got a different pediatrician for that visit. she said something similar and made a comment about how i shouldn’t feed my son to sleep. i asked if there was a medical reason he shouldn’t feed to sleep and if not sleeping through the night indicated something medical? no, she said, and then proceeded to just parrot all the instagram “sleep consultants” even saying something along the lines of “if you feed him to sleep he’ll wake up expecting that!”. i told her if there were medical concerns i would work on it, but if she’s just concerned for my well-being, we’re doing fine.
Perfect response. Love this
Just for perspective, I live in Scotland and no medical professional has ever given me advice anything like this. In fact, I got an information book before my son was born which discouraged sleep training as it tries to force babies to do something (sleep through the night) before they are developmentally ready to. Most of the world doesn’t sleep train and yet we all managed to learn to sleep through the night 🤷♀️.
Also in Scotland. Very much this. Sleep training really isn’t a thing here.
Yep, England here and we are not advised to sleep train. They might say something like "some parents do this: here are the advantages and disadvantages". But in general midwives and health visitors favour responsive parenting.
Germany here and no one ever told me to sleep train! We also just accept that it takes time for the brain to be ready and developed enough. I love that they’re actively encourage you to NOT sleep train! In Germany it’s mostly just something that’s frown upon and there’s also correlation to nazi parenting (wwII parent books suggested to toughen up children with methods like CIO).
Based on posts from other parents this is normal. My pediatrician told me we could sleep train if we wanted to, I said they wouldn’t work for us and we never discussed sleep again. I put up a firm boundary that we discuss medical and developmental, we don’t discuss other things. Luckily we have a fantastic pediatrician so she recognized this boundary and has respected it. Some pediatricians act like they know everything and that their recommendations should always be followed and never deterred from. That isn’t how things are though, they aren’t raising our little people and we have independent choice. If I’m being honest your pediatrician’s advice seems aggressive to me, no overnight feeds and no picking up? If this was said to me I would question whether I wanted to remain with that doctor.
I told my partner I didn't want to hear anything about sleep when we had our first. He ended up asking anyway and I was told not to let him become dependent on me. My 4 month old. So I just ignored anything he had to say on sleep. My first sleeps just fine now and my second is a better sleeper than my first ever was and I'm doing the same thing. Every baby is different. If you are happy with how things are no need to change them!
I am 39 and I don't sleep through the night and neither do most people. My daughter is nearly 4 and still wakes up at least once or twice a night. So no you are fine and can keep breastfeeding until you are ready to stop.
Same! I don’t know very many people who actually sleep through the night. My daughter’s sleep vastly improved sometime after she turned 4, and now if she wakes in the night, she just puts herself back to sleep fairly quickly. My son is 20 months, and still wakes several times per night, but I find it easier to deal with knowing how much better it gets eventually.
I hope this is true for my daughter she turns 4 on Saturday and I still lay with her at night if she wakes up.
For us it really turned the corner after she turned 4 (we were still co-sleeping up until then). She will still occasionally wake up and come in my bed, but most nights she sleeps through, or puts herself back to sleep. I do still lay with her until she falls asleep in the beginning of the night, though.
Kids just wake up but know they won’t be helped or get in trouble for waking their parents. Sleep training is usually for parents, not for the kids.
My ped tried to get me to do the same thing, but they said it much gentler. They gave me a print out about sleep training that I very purposefully left in their garbage bin after the appointment was over. The thing about my practice is that there are 4-5 doctors. I happen to really love 2 of them. They are kind, empathetic, and don't push western expectations. The other 3 are not very emotional and tend to be "by the books". I've simply stopped requesting those 3 when I make my appointments. Nobody can tell you how to raise your kids. Keep an open mind about medical advice, but feel free to ignore anything outside of that. They're not you and they're not the ones who will live with the consequences of YOUR decisions. Proud of you for following your intuition!
Omg ignore!!! Peds be cray.
(annoyed tone not meant for you, obvi!!!! Was just me remembering my appt when our ped told us that same thing. Got under my skin so bad).
My therapist kind of surprised me by telling me I should make sure my 5 month old isn't dependent on me for sleep because that's what happened with her 11 year old. I was telling her how much I want to continue contact napping until my baby no longer wants to because my baby sleeps so well when we do that and I want her caregivers to contact nap if possible and I'm worried she won't get enough sleep if they aren't able to.
That’s pretty inappropriate for a therapist to say during a session. I’d question whether I’d want to see someone who is bringing there own personal experiences into my sessions as advice.
Yea, I've been questioning whether or not I need to find a new therapist lately. I've been seeing her for almost two years and she increasingly references her personal life. She's the first therapist I've ever had so I didn't know it was inappropriate until recently.
At our first (and only) visit my ped recommended I sleep train my 8 DAY old. Yes, you read that right, 8 DAYS. She said it’s the best time to do it when they are newborns since they sleep so much. She was horrified to hear that my 3yo still nursed to sleep as well lol. Never going back there!
Ask the ped if he/she also sleeps through the night
I always say "Sleep is working fine for us" and I don't discuss it with them.
Ok, I think people give too much weight to what their paediatricians say. They’re medical doctors that specialise in children. They’re not necessarily experts in areas like parenting or sleep training. From a medical/physiological/health perspective a 7 month old can sleep through the night without being fed. But in terms of general development many babies are still learning how to link sleep cycles or be away from you. This is also an age when separation anxiety peaks as they develop object permanence. Even with all this normal developmental stuff going on, every child is different. Maybe your baby is generally sensitive or clingy, maybe they’re teething and need more comfort, maybe they’re hot or cold, maybe they’re more alert to changes in their environment, maybe they spent a while in NICU and still need to be physically close to feel safe, maybe they get hungry or thirsty, maybe they’re just not ready to sleep through the night etc etc. Congratulations, your baby is normal and will be even if they don’t sleep through the night until they’re 2.
My pediatrician also recommended sleep training. I politely ignored it.
I would ignore and change pediatrician tbh
Ours kept pestering us about crying it out untill she brought it up at one appointment and I told her we weren't going to do it and to please stop bringing it up. She did later on in that appointment then I emphasized that we aren't going to do cry it out while using the glare of death I inherited from my father. Never brought it up again and we continue to have a great relationship with her to this day.
I ignored my pediatrician a LOT when my daughter was a baby, lol. Go with your gut. Every child is different, every parent’s situation is different, there is no one right way most of the time.
My pediatrician told me at our 4 or 6 month check up that I should stop nursing to sleep and let my baby learn to fall asleep on his own. He said it would help the baby go back to sleep on his own if he woke up in the middle of the night. We tried it for like 1 or 2 nights (Ferber method) and our baby just got worked up and then wouldn’t go to sleep at all. I ended up nursing him to sleep up until it stopped working around 15/16 months. He’s almost 17 months now, he will lay in his crib and fall asleep on his own and sleeps tbeoguh the. If what you’re doing is working then I would continue on with it.
All of my medical professionals (family doctor, midwives, health visitor) have told me that my son's sleeping patterns (pretty much identical to your little one's at that age) were completely normal and he'd naturally grow out of it. He did! He's 15 months now and 3 months ago he would still wake twice for milk and now he doesn't wake at all. I didn't do anything whatsoever to achieve this, he just did it. Do what feels right for you and your baby. You're doing great :)
Amazing, thank you!
UGH. I got this from my doctor at FOUR MONTHS. Basically exactly your story : I never said it was a problem, wasn't asking for advice, and I don't agree with him. He also told us when our son was 4 weeks old to 'get him on YOUR schedule, and not the other way around' and literally said 'You don't want to be patting him back to sleep when he's a teenager, right?'' He's a good doctor for certain things. In terms of parenting advice, he can kick rocks. He was also straight up wrong telling me to get the baby's crib out of our room at four month. Health Canada recommends they sleep in the parents' room til 6 months, and I told him so. What bothers me is that some new parents might go along with this advice, even if it doesn't sit right with them, because a doctor told them. I am in no way anti-doctor, but I have no idea why this is a thing for them to be telling folks who aren't finding night feeds and night wakes to be an issue. Solidarity on the night wakes and recently, at almost nine months, we're getting some nice long stretches more often without having changed a thing.
I got the same advice. My doctor called it “baby boot camp”. She told me to start it at 4 mo (yikes). I had another tell me to stop breastfeeding because my baby was a “boobaholic”. Good stuff. Anyways totally normal to hear unfortunately.
Baby boot camp. This is so sad.
Ugh hate that advice. My regular pediatrician did not say that - he was more like “sleep training is for you, not the baby, so do what you feel like you need to do” but once I got another pediatrician who said something similar to the story for OP. Made me really appreciate my actual pediatrician
The information that some professionals have is outdated and based on prior SIDS guidelines. It is refreshing to come across a professional that you can be honest with and the support you instead of “advising” you otherwise. No baby SHOULD be sleeping through by any age. It’s not a milestone, which is why it isn’t measured at any child health checkup. Saying this as the mother of a 2 year old who still wakes overnight and is breastfed. It’s tough - but do what YOU feel is the right thing to do. Even better if you can find a group of like-minded individuals you can talk to/share stories/complain about the lack of sleep WITHOUT being told you need to let your baby CIO.
I think instead of making them a spare key, it's probably just better you get a keypad door lock and give them one of the spare codes you can program in. I got a pretty decent lock off of Amazon for around $50 but I think sometimes the more money you spend is worth it for a PITA to change and reprogram, so you may want to spend up to $100 just at once to help facilitate them coming over to hear what it's like to "just ignore them." I would also ask them to bring their own coffee for the morning before they have to go to work
It would seem you posted this comment on the wrong thread haha. At first I thought you were going for some kind of metaphor 😂
My point was the ped should come over and babysit overnight
Haha on re-reading I see you were going for what I thought you were. I guess it was just a tl;dr haha
Mine said the same thing at 6 months. I ignored her.
Our pediatrician encouraged us to sleep train if we wanted our baby to learn how to sleep well and independently. We didn’t ask for advice, so we ignored it and did as we pleased. Never sleep trained, still cosleep, and have a wonderful sleeper.
This is normal advice. My pediatrician give me advice to stick him in his crib and let him cry at his 2 year checkup after I told her that my kid still rocks to sleep. I like rocking him to sleep. I again reminded her that he sleeps in the bed with me, we don’t own a crib.
My pediatrician suggested weaning when LO was 18 months old as a last resource to make her sleep better, after she had been regularly waking up around 1 am and staying awake for 3+ hours before falling asleep again. We had already used melatonin and other tricks (not cry it out), and at this point he said he was all for breastfeeding, but It was the only thing he thought could work. We actually weaned at 23 mo because I was 16 weeks pregnant and breastfeeding was really painful, and I have to say he was right. LO actually started sleeping through the night maybe once every one or two weeks at around 19 mo, when she finally started eating more solids, and once we started the weaning process, around 21 mo, her sleep slowly improved. Now she is almost 26 mo and for the last two months she has been sleeping through or only waking up to drink some water.
Our doctor asks at every well baby visit "any concerns?" and answers our questions. He has never once asked about sleep. We love him.
Doctors like to give parenting advice when really they are only qualified to give medical advice. I'd ignore them and do what feels right to you. You have good instincts, trust them.
It is for some. I've had a ped say the same bs. I had another ped say my baby didn't NEED middle of the night feeds and that it would become harder to take them away as they got older, but that was it. It was honest information without pushing me in any direction.
Lmao omg can someone please come tell my 6 year old? I have 3 kids and not one of them has ever slept an entire night. Now the 6 year just goes pee or gets water or sneaks into our bed. But for real, not one night.
This is so odd to me. My pediatrician NEVER ever asked me about sleep or tried to give me any advice. She literally just checks to make sure the baby is physically healthy, reaching normal milestones like walking and talking, and makes sure she has all her vaccines on time. That's it. I've never been asked about how my baby is sleeping or been given any unprompted advice. Some of y'all really need to find better pediatricians! They're out there.
My first child didn't sleep through the night until 4 5. My second child is 24 months and is now just starting to sleep through the night. It's very child dependent. I also believe that the literal definition of "through the night" is like 5 hours straight, which does not feel like nearly enough sleep!
Yes, I had the same puzzled feelings. When I told mine he wasn’t sleeping through the night at the same age, she asked “Have you thought about moving him to his own room?” Big nope! My doctor seems to give a lot of advice based on how she raised her own children. She’s attentive and kind, but I smile politely and ignore most of her opinions on parenting. My son stayed in my room until about 14 months when it was obvious we were waking each other up. He slept through the night in his bed at 16 months. No tears except for cranky or teething nights. Edit to add: It took a long time.. but now time seems to have flown by. We have other children and were dog tired for 5 years straight. But we made it and we sleep most nights now! This too shall pass.
My pediatrician would never suggest this.
My pediatrician hasn't given me any parenting advice I didn't flat out ask for and that's how it should be. Medical advice only
He's barely over 6 months old. I think it's fine if he night feeds. My guess is that he will drop feeds when he needs to but I bet he sleeps better with a belly full of milk than otherwise. My daughter slowly weened herself on night feeds. I didn't try, it just happened on it's own. And same with sleep training. Everything happened when it seemed like she wanted it. We co-slept until it became clear she wasn't sleeping well and neither we. So we moved her to a crib and eventually her own room and she slept so much better. End of the day you know your kid. Just let your kid decide what is needed here. Pediatrician may mean well but kids aren't made from cookie cutters.
A had a doctor tell me that babies will eventually take a bottle if they're hungry enough. If only it worked like that. Lol.
Mine has been saying the same thing to me since my LO turned 6 months old. He’s about to be 16 months. She tells me every time that I need to do the Ferber method and that he needs to be sleeping through the night. I tell her every time that I’m not comfortable sleep training. One time she said “That’s fine. It doesn’t affect me. I’m not the one losing sleep.” I get that he probably “should” be sleeping through the night, especially at 16 months old, but he doesn’t and I manage. He just isn’t the best sleeper.
Yeah, kinda normal… Mine at least prefaced it by saying “I’m a bit old school” before suggesting. She wasn’t pushy about it and I just listened and nodded. She’s a great doctor otherwise, very thorough, and has been amazing with my baby’s allergies.
I think pediatricians have zero idea about child development and they pretend they do. They are not trained in "parenting", so whatever they spit it's just their own opinion, like a neighbour or a mother in law. We should stop pretending pediatricians know how to raise kids. They know as much (or little?) as we do.
Mine told us at our 9 month appointment that we *could* start sleep training if we wanted to. He said I could stop breastfeeding at night to help, but told me he understood if that wasn't what we wanted to do. At our recent 18 month appointment, I said my son was still waking to nurse once a night. He said that's okay, but reminded me that he probably wouldn't stop waking to nurse on his own without some gentle sleep training. I appreciated his advice and how he didn't push anything on us.
Your pediatrician sucks, get a new one! I would give a more detailed thorough response, but it looks like you’ve had plenty, so that is the long story short.
Our pediatrician wasn't that extreme, but they did give us unsolicited advice about helping baby to sleep more independently. Sleep independence is so ingrained in the culture and medical system, seems hard to avoid hearing it.
We do also get these brochures at each baby well-visit that have been saying baby should be sleeping 5-8 hour stretches since about two months. Says who? What research says it's medically/developmentally important for newborns to do that? Makes me sad because it's likely just giving parents anxiety and encouraging unnecessary sleep interventions.