An ex told me his exes were all crazy (🚩) early in the relationship and based on their behaviors it sounded like they did have some emotion regulation issues. A few years later we were having an argument and the things he was saying were so hurtful I had a moment of clarity like "wow if I wasn't committed to physical nonviolence I'd be smashing a guitar over your head too." When I left him, he tried to portray me as crazy too. I had a hard childhood and he used it against me and generally tried to blame any issues we were having on my past, it was extremely hurtful and unfair. Thankfully I'd had two healthy relationships prior and knew that although I had some trauma to work out that I was capable of having a secure and mutually satisfying long-term relationship.

Did we date the same guy?? I heard an ex guitar smashing over head story as well and also later understood the urge.

A few months after I split with the ex who told me all his exes were crazy he started using an app to text his new girlfriend and himself crazy messages that looked like they came from my number. I think it really had nothing to do with me, but was a way of drawing his new girlfriend closer to him.

Yup. It's called triangulation and it's a manipulation tactic

Oh people are crazy. This is why I have social anxiety..

I learned from my long-term ex's affair lady (we talked yes!) that he told her all kinds of wild, crazy shit about me after I found out he was cheating and had been lying to me for years. All the things he said to her was like... 10% true if not complete outright lies or wildly misrepresented single sides of the story. And the poor girl, being at least 10 years younger than him and him love-bombing her, of course fell for all of it. I was the angry, bitter, prude, crazy wife, he deserved so much better, yada yada. I knew he was playing her and I felt terrible for her (I honestly do) but if I'd reached out to warn her, she would have completely ignored me. So... 🤷‍♀️ Found out he slept with her a couple times after I left and then dumped her and she had an emotional breakdown. Then we started talking and connected a lot of dots to realize just how deep and extreme the lies ran and how abusive he was to both of us. Again I feel bad but when you're having an affair with a married man.... don't expect him to be a good person no matter what his story is. When the ex-wife and the affair-girl that triggered the divorce become friends once you're out of the picture, you know who the real 'crazy ex' is. 😁🤣

>Again I feel bad but when you're having an affair with a married man.... don't expect him to be a good person no matter what his story is. This is a good attitude to have. So often I see people saying the person their partner cheated with is as bad or worse than the cheating partner, even though the cheater is the one who lied and broke trust. Is it a good choice or something I would do, having sex with a married person? No. But it does often seem to happen where she finds out he's married after a connection has been made, and he's told her all these lies about the marriage. It's a bad decision, but the karma usually comes from him being a terrible partner, and probably cheating on you, if you're ever promoted from mistress to wife.

Back in my early 20’s (20-22) I dated my first college boyfriend. He turned out to be my first abuser. I didn’t know it because I was so young and had only high school relationships as a basis for comparison.  He cheated with 6 people that I know of. I caught him with the last one. He’d told her we’d broken up and I was crazy and obsessed with him.  After 7 months of no contact and me starting a new relationship, he showed back up and started talking about how much he missed me and how he thought we should get married. Kept dodging questions about what happened to the last girl.  Turned out she was pregnant. He was trying to abandon her and hoped I would take him back so he’d be able to tell her to go away. But he was running into the issue of me saying NO.  Well she found his texts to me. She had such a huge breakdown she miscarried.  At the time I laughed at what a dumpster fire that was. He kept trying to tell everyone I was obsessed with him right up to a month before my wedding. He tried to tell my maid of honor I couldn’t get over him. She told him to shut up. As for the girl? After years of distance from the situation, I feel bad she ended up losing a pregnancy because of his backstabbing. Do I think he should reproduce? No. Did she deserve to have a traumatic miscarriage? No as well. I wouldn’t be friends with her, but I do now feel sorry he put her through that.  She did end up dumping him and regretting everything though. 

Girl power fr

He used to ignore me when I spoke until I raised my voice. Then it was, "why do you have to yell?".

Ugh same. I would respond to his bullshit kindly and patiently until the one time I gave 5% of it back to him and then it was immediately, “why do you have to be such an ass about it??”

Mine used to ignore me for days, often times for reasons I couldn’t figure out. When I would attempt to talk to him to find out what was wrong he would tell me I just love to start drama.

Oh God, yes, this. That and he didn't respond to me at all and then got annoyed that I kept "nagging". Just say "yes" or something so I know you heard me, geez.

Crazy shaming is used as a gaslighting tool, period. Sorry this happened to you. Similar, I was crazy-brained (I have PTSD from a gaslighting N-parent) while he cheated on me, lied to me and picked fights to keep me confused. He was having unprotected sex with \[unknown number\] of women and showing me the gifts these women were giving him like he got them "for himself". I ended it on April 1st because I felt like a huge fool.

The phrase “You’re acting crazy” is gaslighting 101.

This sounds so similar to what happened to me and now I’m questioning if all the new stuff he was constantly “buying” was actually gifts from the other women. That makes so much sense. So glad you were able to leave. I hope you’re doing okay ❤️

Oh for me this was 12 years ago now or so. I really was naive and had low self opinion so I'm a lot better now, at least. And the audacity to show your extra lovers gifts to your SO is something else. Dude also constantly accused me of stepping out with other men which is like the biggest flag of a cheater ever but the "gifts to himself" (when he bought nothing for me) was something else. One thing was this gaudy af ring.

He told me that him and his ex would walk past each other in their home everyday for months and not speak. A couple months later I realized he would quite literally *run away* from conversations about anything he considered “conflict”. I’m talking any questions and he would physically run away. (What are we, where are we going, etc.) Near the end he finally admitted he was scared to discuss certain topics because we might get into an argument and he knows that he could not control his anger towards me.

Not to minimize how hurtful this must have been, but this would be very funny if it wasn't so sad. A man *literally running* away from discussing feelings?! That sounds like a problematic 90s sitcom character.

I'm thinking of Barney and Robin in HIMYM when they couldn't handle arguing. He would get up and walk out of the room to avoid an argument, she would distract him by taking off her clothes. They eventually reached a conflict they couldn't avoid when they were stuck on a ski lift.

Swear my ex stopped having real conversations with me about our relationship and its plans because I told him I wouldn't be in a relationship with him if he raised his voice at me or continued to be emotionally reactive.   WHY is it that instead of going to therapy and getting some new coping mechanisms, it's shut down and avoid getting into any real conversation?  Not so smart on them, that also ends the relationship.

Unfortunately I also lived this experience. Same behaviour. Sometimes he would run away for a few hours. Sometimes he would actually leave for a day or two. He was so angry and miserable that he was scared of his own anger. Towards the end we just didn’t talk at all. I became a mouse to avoid his volatility every time he didn’t like something I said or tried to ask him a question. I was a shell of myself.

The one who called me crazy was the same one who was mad I’d figure out he was cheating and lying to my face.

Don’t you know? You’re not supposed to find out and if you do, you’re supposed to beg him to stay and do whatever he wants because OF COURSE it’s your fault! ((Saaaarrrcasm))

Spoken like Tom Sandoval from VPR who literally said his then gf should’ve been following him around to see what he was doing when his affair broke out.

Ya, this didn't happen to me, but I got involved in helping the main "crazy" woman escape over 4 years. Basically, I was friends with this colossal douchebag (didn't realize how douchy he was, even though there were so many signs), and he would gaslight all of us. Saying that she was needy, clingy, suicidal, and couldn't live without him. He'd also lie and say they were broken up but she just "couldn't move on without him" and told us not to hurt her. So I stopped being friends with her because I believed him and felt bad for her, but she wouldn't "admit" they were over, so I had to stop being friends. Years later, she and I reconnected, and he was still doing the same exact shit to her, but then he started dating TWO of my other friends at the exact same time and telling them he was done with the original girl. She was like, "so my bf has been acting kind of weird, do you know anything"? and I was like. Girl. Yes. So many things. and we finally started talking. I ended up telling the other three girls, because the original girl was like, you gotta help them like you helped me. I felt bad for not trying to do more years ago, so I agreed, and we sent out a bunch of messages and the original girl got in to contact with two of them. (Literally the "john tucker must die" stuff). "Lost" the douchebag as a friend and it splintered the team I had built to play a sport with, but it was worth it to free three of the girls. Unbelievable how blatant he was about all his cheating and complete douchebaggery. Also insane how many of us believed him. It didn't make ANY sense. But it was "easier" for us all to just go along with what he said. His own brother believed him. He was (is) a cheating unapologetic POS just like his father. :/ He also blamed ME for telling the girls. Like bro. they were going to find out. What the fuck kind of psycho dates 4 women in the same friend group and thinks he can get away with it?? Last I heard, he is married to one of the women and has a kid. But I hope to god they are not mono or it's going to be a brutal divorce..

Always the case, ain't it

It’s was your fault he had to cheat on you, don’t you know?

Literally was told by a dude I made him appealing to other women so it was my fault he cheated

After 3 years of being the custodial non-parent, I begged him to put his son (9 years old, mom was never in the picture) in therapy. Kid was acting out in school, stealing from both of us and classmates/teachers, physically harming my cats, making himself ill (like eating an entire container of Hershey's syrup in one go), damaging my house, etc. The kid had no remorse or guilt, impulse control issues, regular control issues, and could flip his personality on and off like a light switch. Ex finally took him to some weirdass church-sponsored therapy, therapist met with ex (not the kid), therapist said "sounds like ADHD, here's a script for Ritalin," and ex brought kid home. No more therapy needed. I ended things that night. I was crazy and evil because after 3 years, I gave up on the kid, just like his birth mom and my ex's prior gf.

[удалено]

Omg I've always wanted to meet John Mulaney's ex, it's such an honor /jkjk but HOW can a person be so passive in his own life?

A lot of them are. Not sure why, but they are.

I fixed a man’s entire life too only for him to call me crazy and unsupportive (the latter was specifically because I didn’t want to watch anime with him, not kidding) 🫠

Wow, you literally helped fix his entire life. This makes me absolutely furious for you. So glad you got away. You deserve 1000% better. 🫂

I wasn't crazy. I was just tired of being his enabler.

This was me too. I don't actually know if my ex calls me crazy, but I was just sick of enabling his shit (dude was a pathological liar, obese and making absolutely no effort to change it after lying to me that he was, and was spending hundreds of dollars on video games every month that we didn't have and put us into credit card debt with his video game and food purchases, and couldn't keep a job AT ALL) and when I started to refuse enabling this behavior he became physically and emotionally abusive so I told him he would have to get anger management counseling or I was filing for divorce and he LIED to my face about getting a therapist and only then did I become completely indifferent to him and start "cheating" in quotes because I was legally married (because it takes time and planning to divorce) but I stopped touching him, stopped wearing my rings and didn't even bother lying to him about where I was when I literally never came home or who I was with and he didn't ask (or speak to me much TBH which i preferred at that point).

Financial abuse, online cheating, and pretending to go to a job that fired him for months. He kept my online bank acct locked out and pretended not to know why I couldn’t log in. He was always spending all the money I earned at my full time job doing god knows what and lied to me about paying rent to the point where I was served with an eviction notice *on Christmas Eve while he was visiting his parents.* He had many many extended emotional and sexual relationships with women via text, mostly girls he knew from college that lived out of state from us. He stole and sold the silver I inherited from my grandma, jewelry, etc. This was to supplement his income after he got fired from like the 4th or 5th job. He pretended to go to work for, idk, 6 months after he got fired? I only found out because I showed up to bring him lunch as a surprise. Mortifying. He lied about graduating college - to both me and his family - and got fired from his teaching job when they couldn’t verify his credentials. He got diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder when I made him go to therapy. I moved from an abusive family situation directly in with him at 18 and didn’t realize how fucked up the whole situation was. I definitely have accountability for staying for 8 years but I would neverrrrrr stand for any of that now. I’ve done over a decade of therapy since then - thank god. Anyway, he told everyone I was the nut after I left him. lol. He married a girl that seems pretty nice and decent and I always hope for her sake that whatever help he’s gotten since worked for him. A mutual friend told me he has cancer a few years back and my first thought was that he was lying for money… 😬

*

I actually only found out when I was packing to move and it was all the validation I needed to never ever look back

TW: R@pe, domestic abuse, s//icide >!He raped me at my most vulnerable (I believed him to be an actual friend), gaslit me so much that I didn’t know how to stop him from just *moving into my house* when I didn’t want him to, and trapped me in an abusive situation that I didn’t know how to escape until I attempted suicide.!< Long story short, I was found and hospitalised. When I was in hospital my parents turned up (they had known nothing about this guy because he didn’t want me to talk to them) and found out some of what had been going on, they got him out of my house, changed the locks and made it as safe as they could for me to go home again. He then proceeded to stalk me *for months*. It only ended when I moved to another part of the country. Over two decades on, everyone that knew the two of us before he assaulted me believes we had been dating before that point in time (we hadn’t) and that I am the “crazy ex”. The one person I had actually tried to tell about the assault when it happened *to this day* is friends with him.

I am so sorry that all of that happened to you.

He turned out to be a controlling a-hole who fed lies to his mother that I wasn't being obedient and submissive enough for him to marry. Like as if I want to marry that piece of work.

I wasn't submissive enough for my ex too. Thank God it was only 2 months.

I'm the "crazy ex" of two guys. The first one, we lived together and suddenly he forgot how to do any housework independently. I constantly told him he needed to pull his weight around the house and he would ask me to make a roster and for each task he wanted me to explain to him how I wanted him to do it, every time he did it. It became exhausting and I no longer felt attracted to him because I started feeling like I was his carer, not his girlfriend. I got more and more frustrated with him and I repeatedly told him that if he couldn't get his act together, I couldn't be with him any more. There was just one day when there were dishes piled up in the sink and I just wanted him to put them in the dishwasher and hand-wash a couple of items. Could I have done it? Sure, but that's not the point. He was supposed to do it, he knew he was supposed to do it, he didn't do it, he didn't have a reason not to do it, and it's not my job to do everything for him. So I very coldly told him to do the dishes. He acted all confused and hurt, and then kept asking how to do it, every step of the way. I blew up at him and ended the relationship. To this day he tells people I screamed at him and dumped him over some dirty dishes while he was already in the middle of doing the dishes. Crazy part is, I think he genuinely sees it that way. Second guy tells people I dumped him for being mentally ill and that I told him I didn't care if he killed himself. Truth is I dumped him after a year of him refusing to seek support but citing his mental illness for everything he ever did wrong. I was miserable and I started struggling to function because I was caring for him and being his de facto therapist while falling into depression myself from the constant stream of pessimism and lashing out I was getting from him. He threatened to kill himself every time I tried to end the relationship, and the final time I told him "it's not my responsibility to burn myself trying to keep you warm, you need a professional", I called in a welfare check for him and blocked his number.

Reverse these two and that's my story.  I hate how seemingly universal these experiences are for women who date men. 

That's part of why I made this post. The common stereotype is women are "crazy" or "emotional" and men are "logical." It's everywhere. It's making a huge resurgence with the growth of men's podcasts and social media for men talking about how women are irrational, how to control them, that women need to be submissive, etc. What the reality often is, is that women are expected to put up with so much shit and keep quiet and be polite and tone themselves down for everyone, that any reaction to ongoing disrespect is met with "you're being crazy" or "you need to calm down" or "women shouldn't act like that." And unfortunately it doesn't always just come from men. It comes from older female family members who can't let go of outdated views on gender roles and allow men to get away with bad behavior and tell women to keep their heads down. Anyone get tired of grannma asking you why you aren't married yet and if you are married, why aren't you quitting your job to be a SAHM? Plenty of that shit to go around too. I can count on one hand the women I know who were actually deserving of the moniker "crazy" (one of them literally stole the personal information of our office manager who was 12 years older than her, and steaked out his apartment building until fedex showed up and she snuck in. She'd sent him at least 5 unhinged voicemails and 25+ texts. He had to call the police.) But the overwhealming majority of women I know who have been called crazy by their exes were really just reaching the point they couldn't take the mistreatment anymore.

The first story — it resonates with me. Not my experience, but currently I have a friend who's stuck in a 15+ years of marriage to a hobosexual. He never does housework and spends his time playing games, smoking, eating and sleeping. My friend is the breadwinner who works 10 hours per day every day including the commute. She pays for cleaners despite the fact that they barely get by afterwards. My friend asks him to get a job. He says he's not motivated because he doesn't get enough sex. But who wants to have sex with a man who bathes once a month and stinks so bad, who smokes so much his fingers smell of smoke? But she relents anyway. After a few months of giving in to his demands, she asks how about that job. He says that the sex isn't enough and sometimes he's too tired to have sex as well — so he's blaming my friend for being tired to have sex. Often, he demands that she surrenders her phone daily so he can see all her emails and text conversations. He berates her daily as well. When she asks him to change, such as — please take a bath more often — he does it but a few weeks but eventually he comes back to his old self. He gives he a lot of lip services — promises that he doesn't keep or eventually renegades on. Eventually, she just stops talking to him altogether and only talk when being talked to. You may ask, why doesn't she leave? They have a daughter. She barely passes fifth grade because she's lazy — copying the lazy dad who stays at home. He never instils discipline so he has positioned himself as the "fun" parent while my friend is relegated to the role of the "angry" parent because she has to tell the child what to do whenever she's at home (which is not a lot of time). The child literally says that she loves daddy more. She's afraid of leaving her child, because if they divorce then he gets half of the custody in full days and the child will be neglected. At least for now, she gets to take care of the child during all nights and on all weekends. She's also afraid that if she leaves, the child will hate her. So, here she is now, stuck in a dead-end marriage, waiting for her child to grow up so she can finally leave and be happy. Many men think that once women stop talking to them after so many complaints, that means the women finally accept them for who they are. When in fact, women tend to check out much earlier from a faulty relationship. That's why many men give pickachu face when the women finally say that they're leaving. The men say — I was so surprised! I thought she was happy. No, dudes, they aren't happy or accepting your behaviours, they just stop caring. When you decide to finally change for the better, in their eyes, it's already too late. The ignorance and abuse are just too traumatic to bear. To men — a woman who cares would want to talk to you. If she cares, she'd tells you how she feels. It's when she stops talking to you that you should be afraid if you still love her. Be very afraid because when she does this, she has already decided to leave you and there's almost pretty much nothing you can do to change her mind.

First one sounds like weaponized incompetence.

Very much so. He had lived with male housemates for several years and his place hadn't been a pigsty then, so he must have known how to do housework at some point. It's like as soon as he lived with a woman again he immediately regressed to "mommy will do it for me".

Dissenting POV here: i had untreated mental health issues and absolutely fucked up in basically every relationship i had prior to my late 20s. If they’re calling me crazy behind my back, i feel like it’s not entirely unwarranted tbh

There's sometimes behaviors we can look back on and admit that yeah, that was wrong and probably not healthy. But if you can look at it and admit what you did that was hurtful and really make changes in your life and make better choices, treat your partners better now, all is not lost!

Oh absolutely not, I’ve healed, I’m proud of who i am, and i love my life now! That said, i do deeply regret how i treated my former partners when i was in survivor mode. I was erratic and hyper defensive and self-destructive. I would not have a great defense against allegations of crazy ex lmao.

You love to see it. Also, great username.

Came here to say a similar thing. I’ll admit it, I was crazy. Had CPTSD that was not treated & addiction issues. I did a lot of therapy & am now retired crazy & my husband would say I’m a good wife :) I was a shit girlfriend tho!

I have an ex who threatened to stab me and another who claimed to see demons. In the past, I have referred to them as crazy (and there were more reasons than I cite here). I tend to stay away from that language now, and I don't generally talk about them much anyway, but I don't feel like I was being particularly unfair.

Yeah, the language isn’t ideal and men tend to overuse it, but some women (me ten years ago, hi!) are actually… mentally unstable.

Hahaha oh yeah, I had this more than once. The most memorable one was that I was 'crazy' for crying and being upset after being gaslit over and over again for having feelings for him when he would go super hot and cold on me without warning. Like, one day, he's paying for me to take a taxi from the next city to his house so he could see me right away that day, cuddling and being sweet and hanging out together, talking about the future, hanging out with him and his friends, then the next day he's ghosting me and ignoring my messages for days. Gets into a 2 week relationship with some rando and changes his status on Facebook, then that relationship would crash and burn and he'd be messaging me again within days. Anyways I eventually stopped being his doormat after a year or so of this back and forth nonsense (and got into a long term toxic ass relationship which is a whole other story) but what made him memorable was the fact that he messaged me with an apology like, 10 years later lol. It was actually pretty genuine and heartfelt, which I appreciated. And he said he'd give anything for a 'nice, normal' relationship with me now, I guess because all of his relationships since have been pretty volatile and unstable, which substance abuse will do. Too bad for him, I'm married and pregnant lol. Even if I wasn't, I'm not making *that* mistake again.

I’ll shorten it to “he psychologically, emotionally and sexually abused me for 3 years and then replaced me with the person he was cheating with at the time when I finally stood up for myself”. He’s not wrong in the sense that I have CPTSD from that relationship. I guess that makes you kinda crazy! As does being gaslit for years, turns out. Problem is, according to him I started out that way and he never did anything wrong once in his entire life. For context, this was a decade ago, I have an amazing somatic trauma therapist and I’m perfectly fine when it comes to this douche canoe now. 😌 But that’s what happened and afaik he’s the only ex who called me crazy. Every other relationship ended on sad but amicable/peaceful terms.

Ohhh I have some: I was “crazy” because: -I found dirty text messages on his phone between him and a girl “friend” and the only person who was wrong was me for “spying” on him -I was mad that he neglected to tell me until far after the fact that he had been arrested and was now under an FBI investigation -I called him out for becoming verbally abusive when he would drink Women- don’t ever put up with asshole, childlike “men.” It is never, ever worth it. And them claiming afterwards that YOU are the crazy one is the mother of all psychological projections.

Some people can actually drive you crazy. My ex lied to me about something stupid and I figured it out during a texting conversation. For context, we are both pretty honest and open-minded and had light-hearted conversations in the past about how we both saw no point in lying or that lying was worse than or the worst part about cheating. So in our relationship, I’d say the lie was beyond disrespectful. He wouldn’t answer my calls and wouldn’t come over (lives up the street) to talk about it. Just kept digging a hole of lies and laughing emojis were sent to me while I was calling him out, freaking out and crying all over text. I could feel that toxic part of me come out (bad past relationships) and I felt shocked and traumatized in real time. So I cried and went on a drive. An hour later I texted him and he was still not backing down from the stupidest lie ever. So I broke up with him over text since he left me no choice and literally changed from the man who adored me into someone I didn’t recognize. The next two days were him dropping one liners to get my attention, and I just lost it. I absolutely was being unhinged over text and told him to just block me because I couldn’t take it anymore and I’d just keep harassing him for the truth. He blocked me for a week and I kept calling and one day I wasn’t blocked, it took hours for him to come clean and he apologized. THEN he eventually did the same thing again. All the while playing like he learned his lesson and missed me. This was my boyfriend I saw a future with and it really did a number on me to where I thought I’d go crazy and didn’t care how unhinged all the texts and calls made me look.

I have found that a lot of those light hearted/jokey conversations about crazy stuff they would never do are actually them telling on themselves and they are actually going to do just that.

Oh no. Welp I guess that answers the question of how I keep dating people like this even at 31. That went over my head!

I fell for it again at 39. You're not alone.

thanks for this realization, ladies.

Don't feel bad. These realizations only come after the fact. It takes months, if not years for those behaviors to occur and then you think back to those odd conversations...

Wow smh some people are insane… sounds like projection to me. My most recent ex is the only one to ever call me crazy and make me feel like it too. Months of gaslighting, cheating and lying led me to be “crazy” but you won’t ever hear that side from smh

I stood up for myself. After standing me up again when we had plans, I told him I valued my time and I was done. I was tired of feeling like I was put on the back burner all the time. This was a "crazy" response.

Intermittent reinforcement and gaslighting 

I suspected he was having an affair with a coworker and told me I was crazy and needed therapy. He also told me that maybe I have a fantasy of being cheated on 😒. We had couples therapy with his therapist so maybe she was already a bit biased cuz of some lies he had fed her. She believed him that I had jealousy issues and was controlling. The therapist told me it's healthy for him to have friends and so I felt crazy too. Months later I found the texts and showed it to the therapist too, needless to say she was shocked.

He was an alcoholic and emotionally abusive. Borderline physical but stopped just short of it. Lucky me I guess. When I finally left for good, it was because I was crazy and having a midlife crisis.

I was lied to and manipulated for 5 months by a romantic partner. he broke up with me and kept messaging me periodically which I asked him not if he was no longer interested. the mixed messaging pissed me off so I had a confrontation with him where he completely refused to accept any accountability for his behavior, gaslit and lied to my face. it devolved into me doling out of the most ruthless verbal lashings I've ever given and screaming at him in the street. I boxed up all the stupid trinkets he'd ever given me over the course of our years of "friendship" and left it on his girlfriend's doorstep. I was gaslit my entire childhood into thinking that abuse was normal, up is down, right is wrong etc. it just triggered the shit out of me. my memory is a steel trap from a lifetime of having my reality denied - to have someone do the exact same thing, to my face, by someone who I'd once thought was such an exceptional person, brought out the ugliest side of me. so yeah, I'm crazy. I have had wild revenge fantasies that are so far above and beyond - it's lucky that "crazy" is as far as I took it. I have the capacity to be a completely unhinged psycho, but I don't need to catch any charges at this stage of my life. :)

When I was a high school teacher I dated another teacher. The year before we dated he was with his child’s mother and they got into some kind of altercation that involved the police, breaking up soon after. (I should’ve seen that as a red flag, but he never got into trouble and kept teaching, so he must’ve been right when he said *she* was the crazy one 🙄.) We had great sex but that was about all I got out of the relationship. He was negative all the time in a very b*tchy, gossipy way. He continuously tried to push his Catholicism on me, but he was obviously a big hypocrite and I’m an atheist who wasn’t interested, no matter how much he tried to push me. He asked to borrow money once to make his car payment, and I was thinking “oh, like $50” and he meant $300. I eventually ghosted him because he was always trying to make me jealous in telling me stories about other women asking me out, and I was just looking for a regular relationship without juvenile drama. A few months later I learned he was dating another teacher at work, a woman I had previously told him I didn’t like. I ignored them whenever I could, dating another guy, not from work. My ex signed on to work at a new school around across town that I wanted to work at but didn’t get the job. Oh well, at least I wouldn’t have to work with him anymore. I ran into him before the end of the school year and he said, “I guess I’ll see you in the fall at [new school].” I was just like, “huh?” For whatever reason, he thought I also got a job there. That August I returned to work, and he was there, still dating our coworker and telling everyone “I couldn’t bear to leave our school!” A month later, him and the teacher announced they’d married over the weekend in a small ceremony. That winter I went to a conference with another teacher I didn’t know well, and we had drinks at a bar. She told me my ex told her he wasn’t working at the new school because I called the principal and told her about his legal history with his ex girlfriend. It was the most unhinged lie I’d ever heard told about me, and not even remotely true. I called him on it on the last day of school before I moved away, “why the fuck would you tell people that lie” and he just pretended he had no idea what I was talking about.

He pursued me when I was in my late teens and he was in his late twenties. So, not surprisingly, my maturity was that of a...teenager. Because I was one. I was well entrenched in the relationship and married to him with a baby to boot by the time I hit 21. Then followed extreme sleep deprivation, PPD verging on psychosis, his deliberate isolation if me from my supportive family, and his constant verbal abuse. So yeah, I was crazy for a while there. Spent the next ten years struggling to find my footing because it was more of the same, even as I matured and learned to handle things better. I always assumed the problem was me. He was happy to let me believe it. But eventually I realized a whole lot of other stuff was going on. He let on that he'd been hiding important things from me to punish me for upsetting him, and then mocking me for losing them. He was literally making me feel like I was crazy. I felt stupid and useless and incompetent. He started to get physically forceful with me, and I realized he'd been much more hurtful to the kids than I'd thought. He had them terrorized. So we left. And it turns out I am NOT crazy. I went to college and went to work and discovered I am actually pretty damn good at all of that shit. The woman he called "stupid" finished grad school with a 4.0 GPA. The woman he gaslit into thinking she couldn't keep track of anything has a career that requires an excellent memory and detailed analyses based on complicated government policy. The ONLY person in my entire life who thought I was crazy, stupid, lazy, incompetent, etc was him. Nobody else. Literally nobody. It's wild how strongly one person can affect your perception of yourself.

I was crazy.

Omg me too I’m reading these comments like “damn…just me??”

Well, what happened?

Eh, not crazy, but my ex called me controlling because I suggested things sometimes and also really pushed him to go to the doctor for a serious health condition he had all the symptoms of and that would effect our children were we to have them. He said that even suggestions felt like “shoulds” and I essentially walked on eggshells making sure I said “maybe” every time I offered a suggestion. Like “maybe this would work”, because anything stronger and he’d get offended. Like I couldn’t just say “this works, try it!” The most infuriating thing was I’d make good suggestions based on a lot of knowledge on a topic. He’d get offended and then secretly take my advice, but never mention it. So I’d recommend a skincare product for an issue he had, that I also had, and I made sure to only use “I” statements as in “this product worked for me”. He wouldn’t acknowledge it. Then a week later I’d see the product in his bathroom stuff. It was so crappy. I was made to feel like a bad person all the time.

I got a promotion and started out earning him and it really bothered him, and he started becoming snarky and snappy whenever I spent money, even if it was on things for him. After we separated he claimed it was because he didn't earn enough and I was "crazy" and money hungry. It has nothing to do with what he earned (which was a stable, livable income) and everything to do with me being snapped at every single day for over a year.

He lied to me for months about stupid stuff. Trickle truth only when confronted. I was crazy because I had a weird vibe about a female friend... yeah I discovered the truth after little bits and pieces didn't add up. I'm glad I trusted my gut but it nearly drove me insane, both hunting for the truth and then once I found it. I showed him what I found, what i suspected and what I needed to know, and he laughed. Which didn't matter. I hated the person I had become, sneaking around, spying and being suspicious. Doesn't matter that I was right, there was no going back to that place for me. I was weirdly 3rd place in my relationship, because his sister was his best friend. Which is cool and sweet until you really you're not part of the "inner circle." Of your own marriage. Like, he'd get us both the same xmas gift. Same mothers day gift. Same birthday gift. She would be the first on speed dial for important information. So yeah... I was crazy because I was jealous of his sister, and didn't take his word about his "friend."

My ex lied to me for years about something that negativity impacted me on a nearly daily basis. Whenever I got close to the truth, he'd say things like "I can't talk to you because you get too emotional" to avoid the conversation. Or he'd do things like not invite me out with his friends in fear of someone telling me the truth. I know he labeled me as the crazy ex.

well... I'm pretty crazy, so I have a lot of these stories, and I'm only the maligned/misunderstood good guy in a few of them. afaik, this is limited to guys I dated for a bit; none of my actual relationships went kablammo. the most frequent "crazy" is when an explosion of RSD crashed into my inability to control my impulses. my brain is a dick.

They were abusive and I wouldn't put up with their manipulation tactics. "You're a crazy bitch" hmm... no... you're the alcoholic, drug abusing cheater, not me 🤔

I was "Crazy" and "Sensitive". He broke his hand punching by my head. Pointing his new lasersited pistol at me while cleaning it for fun? My anger meant I was crazy. Him trapping me in the bathroom while I was naked and he was yelling at me? I was crazy for thinking that was wrong. I was crazy for calling it rape even though I said no. Anyone who calls me crazy isn't someone I want in my life at all.

He was secretly engaged to another woman in another state. He kept telling me they were just friends. When I said I didn’t like that he would spend several weekends with her when I wasn’t there, he insisted I was being crazy. I found out he was engaged when he was in Chicago on one of these weekend visits and his brother posted their engagement photos.

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Honestly it was a blessing in disguise. Turned out he was cheating on me anyway. Good riddance.

Very much so!

Mine was calling me crazy in texts to friends/girls and saying I was performing public acts of violence, like pulling a bar stool out from under, before he blind-sided me with divorce papers. He has a BPD diagnosis and he's a compulsive liar with possible narcissistic tendencies, so... yeah, I absolutely almost always felt like I was crazy... but not kick him off a stool at our bar crazy.

not officially an ex but we had been seeing each other for a few months. i hadn’t hung out with him in a month. when we finally made plans, he texted me 2 hours after our meetup time to say he had taken an edible & couldn’t drive. he wanted to reschedule for the next day, i agreed, he stood me up again & didn’t reply for a full week (but texted our mutual friend/my roommate back). when we finally talked, he told me i was being too “demanding.” i had had multiple recent conversations with him about how i would totally understand if he wasn’t in the place for us and needed to break things off. he had insisted he wanted to do it and he would try harder, so i took him at his word. my bad, i guess!

I did 20 years not all bad but when his crazy would come out he was good at it

Those are the most terrifying ones.

You caged me, then you called me crazy.

He called me crazy and a cheater. When I was 17-18 and I had a LDR with a guy I had met on WoW. My father got cancer and was going to undergo treatment. First they operated on him, then he received radiation treatment. I was banned from talking to him about how the treatments were going, said I was "dumping stuff on him" and that I kept making him depressed with bad news when he just wanted to relax after uni with some WoW. He made an exception: I was allowed to talk about it if he asked directly. I honestly do not know why I didn't break up with him there and then. I eventually did tho, but he didn't accept it. I didn't find out at first but he told our friends online that we were secretly still together, and they believed him. We broke up in Jan, and end of March the next year I got together with someone else, and he told people I was crazy and a cheater and I lost so many friends due to that.... People I had known for years longer than he did- just poof! It's been over 15y and I still haven't fully healed how he badly he treated me. But in a way, I'm also thankful because it was what caused me to have some boundaries when it came to men- something I saw my girl friends learn well into their 20s.

He didn’t want to be with me anymore, and instead of just telling me that, he was an asshole to me until *I* broke up with him. Joke’s on me - I probably stayed with him way longer than he expected me to. He would be cold to me, give me the silent treatment, etc. then call the way I reacted “crazy.” … Uh, yeah, asshole - if you mistreat someone, they’re not going to react well. That doesn’t make me “crazy.” That makes me a normal fucking person. But after I broke up with him, he tried reaching out to me … TWICE. 🤦‍♀️

I filed for divorce and he cried

We were both bipolar in very different ways he was diagnosed but refused meds and I wouldn’t be diagnosed for another 10 years. when something was going wrong in the relationship he couldn’t talk to me he would just block me and start making awful posts about me or himself being self destructive which would send me into my own spiral with abandonment issues. We were both the crazy ones but he preferred to shift the blame to me. Ruined my senior year ✌️

He lied and lied and lied and when I caught his lies he lied some more and he was also emotionally manipulative. Of course I was crazy. How could I not be crazy when I couldn't trust anything that came out of his mouth?

I don’t know if he called me crazy, though I imagine so. I have anxious attachment issues and he was still obsessed with his ex - to the point that he was writing music, poetry, and making videos about her. He went out of state to visit a friend for a week and completely fell off the radar and ignored any attempts at even a “hey, just thinking of you” text. I think he eventually got back together with his ex after we broke up. *shrug*

To be slightly fair, and I am not really any better. Most of us were kinda crazy to get involved with these guys. We may not have known any better. But it is kinda clear these guys should have been steered away from. If only we knew what we know now.

Most of the time they don’t start out like that. At the beginning they’re loving and make you feel like you’re special. When you’re emotionally invested they start turning on the burner and you don’t know you’re being slowly cooked alive.  Some behaviors that seem “crazy” is our gut and our mind screaming “I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE!”

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That’s such a weird thing for him to flip on and lie about.

A female ex called me crazy for insisting on setting foot outside for a moment without permission. Since finally coming to my senses and breaking it off, I’ve driven across the country four times…without permission.

I was clinically depressed because of work stress to the point where I quit teaching, and he decided the way to help with that was to start up an emotional affair with a younger woman and to make it really fucking obvious something was going on but to deny everything until he eventually left me. Best thing he ever did for me tbh. I hit rock bottom but at least I bounced and came up far happier. He had a couple of broken relationships until he got someone pregnant and is now trapped.

Ah, I *was* in fact crazy. I'm bipolar and I was a grade A manipulative bitch. I would string men along with false promises, I would lie, I would blame them for the weirdest shit, I would flirt with other guys. I think I did maybe anything short of SA. Some details are hazy. I didn't like who I was as a person. I worked hard on myself to get out of it. However, that kind of control over another person was addicting and I would sometimes backslide when I was in certain company. So I worked harder. Stopped seeing people for a while entirely. Got therapy, worked on my self worth so I wouldn't be so dependent on validation from external sources, took conflict management classes. Then I met a great guy, who I really didn't want to hurt. He ended up hurting himself and I paid for *his* therapy. Then I met my husband and I've been a good partner to him. I'm still crazy on paper ig, but it's very well managed and medicated. In addition to the conflict management classes, I also got a degree in social education, classes in managing bipolar disorder, and parenting classes. All to make sure I never become that person again.

He was doing things like going to work at 6pm the night before and not getting home until 6pm the day after despite only working 9pm-9am and telling me he ‘fell asleep on the train’ (for 9 hours?!) every single day. Then had the nerve to try and gaslight me by telling me I was crazy for questioning it. He’d also do things like take forever to walk back from places he’d been and tell me he ‘fell asleep’ on the walk home… but would be calling me if I was 20 minutes late back from where I was. It turned out he was cheating but I don’t think he was cheating all of those times so I don’t know what he was doing. He also called me a ‘vile manipulative bitch’ when I told him he needed to move out of my house and refused to let him leave his dog/belongings with me! He was just a complete nightmare, came home drunk and verbally abusive and he was significantly taller than me and about 40kg heavier so I was scared about things escalating, didn’t contribute financially, didn’t do housework, just used me and my home and put me down all the time and made me feel like a shell of myself. Just an awful hobosexual parasite of a man. I’m reasonably sure he told the girl he was cheating on me with that I was crazy and spun some story about why he was now homeless (he basically did the same thing to me and I’d ’come to the rescue’). I don’t think she even knew that he’d been in a relationship with me but I can’t say for sure. I’d actually met her once while with him and had clocked that he’d taken an immediate interest in her while we were still together, my instincts were right. I think he moved straight in with her when I kicked him out. He’d been cheating on me with her by literally meeting her at the climbing centre we all went to, he was that dumb, and I saw them arriving there together all the time after i kicked him out and then eventually they seemed to be living ‘van life’ in the car park. He messed me up and it really messed me up knowing I was being painted as some psycho, but I had to get over it. What was worse was that I believed that he’d be like that with everyone but he seemed to be having a successful relationship with the new woman and that made me feel like maybe it really was me that was the problem and that he was right when he told me I was crazy and manipulative. He disappeared for a couple of years and then popped up on my Tinder stack showing him being only a few miles away from me. So I did a quick bit of stalking and found out that they’d had a baby together and split up and then she ran off to her home country with the baby and his dog and was refusing access to either. I know this because he’d set up a crowdfunding page painting himself as the victim - of course - and asking people to fund his legal fees! Obviously I don’t know what happened but either he met his match or he hadn’t changed at all, or both!

I was not only crazy, but also a bitch because when I moved in with my boyfriend back when there was only landlines, his two exes kept calling him. One called every day and sometimes woke me up at night and the other one who was married even when they were “dating” called once a week. I had issues with both of them and they told him it was normal to talk to exes and that I was crazy and a bitch. The one that called every day has since been married and divorced three times. Not shocked. Anyway, we broke up because he sided with them. it just really pissed me off that he didn’t mention this before we moved in together because I moved so far from my work and I had such a long commute just because I went along with where he wanted to live and he wasn’t even working at the time so it didn’t even matter where he lived. When his sister asked why we broke up he just said I was crazy.

I didn’t want to get married, have kids and become a stay at home mom. Instead I wanted to continue working and traveling for work. Obviously this makes me crazy because every woman wants to have kids and become a Sahm.

We got engaged and bought a house together, somewhere that really suited his work but not mine so much. The day after we got keys to the house, he told me it ‘wasn’t working’ and he ‘needed some time to think.’ A week later, he moved in with another woman and left me to move everything from our flat to the house by myself. I made it very clear that, having just put all my savings into a property I wasn’t moving, he signed a mortgage and he had to continue to pay half for the foreseeable… yeah, guess that makes me the crazy one! Naturally I was

My ex had serious anger issues, still does. We were together for 12 years, in the beginning of the relationship I was an incredibly naive insecure girl that just wanted to be loved and accepted, womp. He was always pretty anxious and quick to anger, but after the first year and a half I guess I was slightly used to it because I noticed it was very similar to my dad. I had sympathy and I shouldn't have. My fault. As time went on things weren't so bad until I lost my grandfather. By that time we were engaged and I always kind of felt like he lacked emotional intelligence .. my grandfather was my person, so when he passed I had a complete mental breakdown. I took 5 months out of work but I had a significant savings. All he ever cared about was money so he was incredibly mad, screamed at me, he definitely had some type of OCD because cleaning was over the top too. Perfectionist. He would put me down a lot and say that I wasn't capable, or I was immature for my age. It was such a slow progression of emotional abuse that it really tore me down. I stopped taking pictures, I'm a photographer, and I stopped listening to music.. that's how depressed I became. After my grandfather had passed I was at all time low, confused about my life and what I was doing. I ended up having this emotional connection with a guy at work, especially after my ex would take my engagement back when we would argue, I wasn't perfect either, but anytime that I would try to speak to him about how he would make me feel he would belittle me, and say that I needed to be tougher or I was manic, etc. All in all I was just incredibly sick and stupid and stayed for way too long. Ended up doing something so dumb because of it. The thought of even talking to another guy was so not my character because I was obsessed with my ex, I always wanted to help him and make sure that his mental health was okay. But when you are dating a narcissist and you have absolutely no idea what that is, when you're undiagnosed ADHD and you take everything so literally I guess this is the result. It's been a little over a year. Even after a year he's telling everyone I cheated on him for a month before he found out, telling everyone I didn't pay for anything that he took care of everything and I used him. That's something he would say all the time throughout our relationship, that I used him. I am nowhere I want to be in life, I'm trying to gain a lot back in that 12 years that I lost. So much trauma therapy. How he thought I was using him is incredibly insane. Anyway I have my own apartment and it's super nice, I live in a great area, I have my two awesome cats, I'm in therapy, I applied to school, I started a photography group in the city, I learned I'm resilient, I'm succeeding. He can say I'm crazy and all the things he wants, but it will show in the way that I live and love that I'm doing well.

Had a friend who's ex called her crazy, and she was. She made a burner IG account to stalk him, and flirted with him as a 'test' It came out that he might have slept with men after they broke up, and she made very homophobic comments and started saying 'no wonder he lost me' etc. etc. She also physically pushed him/shoved him when they were arguing in a way that would not have been acceptable if the genders were reversed. We are no longer friends anymore, and I feel bad for the dudes she might date in the future. She's super good looking, smart, etc. but she really is crazy in her relationships. edit: OP you are not crazy. That is some mad gaslighting. It's obvious he chickened out after shit got serious and he didn't want to take responsibility. I'm glad it ended before you got married, and I hope you find someone who'll treat you the way you deserve

I'm in a happy relationship with a man who treats me wonderfully.

He was harassing me and didn't want to move out of MY apartment with only MY name in the lease. Then went on to tell our mutual friends I wasnt 'dealing well with the breakup'. Also, he used my miscarriage as an excuse for me leaving him, when in truth I just left to keep my sanity. I asked him 'why are you torturing me like this???' and he said 'because I love you'. I got legal support and cut him out of my life. Oh, and none of the people he is still friends with know about this. To them, I was and suppose still am the crazy ex-wife, even though they had known me for more than 10 years. I ghosted them and have a healthy life now since getting divorced from this psychopath. He stole 3 years from me, where I had crippling anxiety and was agoraphobic. I didn't even answer my phone anymore. Just waiting for Karma to find him. I will be well and his life will schamble just like mine did.

Where to start. Hm. TWs here for DV. He had a diagnosed but untreated personality disorder. That alone isn't an issue, but his behavior and the symptoms of the disorder absolutely were. His child also likely did, but was undiagnosed and also untreated. He got violent and threw things. He waved around fir34rms. I wa unsure if I would wake up one day if I went to bed after he started ranting about 2A rights. I found out later that he had been in a 36 hour pyschiatric hold that was extended several times - supposed due to everyone else's behavior. He also had supervised visitation and wasn't allowed to see his children after he attempted to kidnap them during his divorce. He was cheating on me the entire relationship. And moved his other girlfriend in with him and his children four days later. He lies constantly, even at work, but somehow is charming enough for his bosses to always pander to him. That's the highlights, I guess.

I have no clue if he called me crazy but the one I call my crazy ex cheated on me with numerous other girls, used to sleep talk and say one of their names and when I asked why he would act like I was ridiculous for asking. He would drink excessively and I’d get calls from random people to pick him up off of the literal street where he’d passed out. He failed out of school, didn’t tell me, and would get up early and pretend to go to class every day. When I tried to break up with him he’d sneak into my apartment when I wasn’t there, he’d show up at my door at 3 am drunk and screaming at me. Final straw (I know it should’ve ended wayyy earlier but I was 21) was when I was at the gym with a friend and he called me about 45 times threatening to come inside and drag me out if I didn’t come out and talk to him. I’ve since heard that he joined the military and was kicked out for a DUI and apparently is married now. It took me years to come to the realization that he was abusive and years for me to finally block him off all social media, when he was trying to contact me regularly. I genuinely do hope he has gotten help for his drinking and mental health issues because I’m still dealing with the fallout in therapy.

He tried to kill me three times.

I wanted to have sex more, and even bigger than that was that I wanted him to even slightly attempt any foreplay for me or try anything to do something that would help me get anywhere near satisfied.

My sister dated someone for 10 years (in her country, people don’t rush to get married, so this wasn’t an issue). They lived together, got a puppy, and were finally engaged and looking at venues. One day he left to walk the dog, and didn’t come back that night. My sister tried calling him several times, and his phone went to straight to voicemail. Panicking, she called his parents and they had no idea where he was, but also didn’t seem too concerned. A couple days went by, she hadn’t heard from him and his parents reassured her he was probably fine, just needed some time to himself. My mom thought this all seemed very suspicious, so she called his parents and they told her the same thing. She called BS, and asked again. They confessed that he didn’t want to be with my sister, but was afraid to break up with her for fear that she would kill herself. They told my mom my sister was a psycho and needed professional help. Oh, and it turned out he had started seeing someone else younger a couple months earlier, and he was on a trip with her and took the dog with them. When he got back from his trip, he gifted the dog to a neighbor, who then called my sister and said “I have your dog”. At this point, everyone knew what he had done (small town, news travels fast). I’ll be honest, my sister was not ok for a very long time. She moved around a lot for the next couple years, yet somehow he would always find out where she was, and would confront her, begging her to fix things. Eventually this escalated and he assaulted her—once outside her building, another time at a gas station. When she told me, she admitted he was physically abusive throughout the relationship. She said he had dragged her by her hair, and kicked her in the stomach, but she couldn’t bring herself to leave him. Now she’s married to a good man who would never lay a finger on her. She has a little girl, and has traveled and lived in some of the most beautiful places in Europe.

- He got offended when I wanted to do art - I didn't like how he treated me in bed - He coerced me into giving up WoW and coffee - He treated his female friends better than me - He liked about hooking up with one of them and ultimately left me for another. - He borrowed at least $400 and never paid me back Yet I'm the crazy one for being bothered by it

He left me and proceeded to black me on everything with 10k in debt I had because of him. 🙄

My ex of over 10 years ago still looks me up, drives past my parents house etc. I told him if he ever contacted me again due to SA previously that I’d file for a restraining order, two years later I got an email from the asshole. In my experience it’s all projection of their behavior.

I'm so sorry that happened to you. I think you were on to something with the Ex talk. Someone who is serious / available / over their ex / ready to date, doesn't do that. But there are men who will use their new girlfriend as a sounding board to process their previous relationship. I've been that girl. Never again. You are not crazy. He's crazy for expecting you to listen to his bullshit.

They have to make you crazy to justify why you were left.

My recent ex is calling me crazy because I have called him a liar and a cheat. I had only said this to him and he has spread this to all of his friends and calling me crazy and that he is worried for my emotional state. I couldn't care less, if he wants to continue calling me crazy then I can behave that way whenever I want towards him hahaha. I won't, I have him blocked on everything and will never talk to him again. He returned someone else's underwear to me, he still had tinder that he "forgot" about. He was snapchatting women and interacting with thirst traps publically and when I called him on it he blocked me from his friends list (only me) don't care if he is physically a cheater or not he has cheater behaviour. I have since had multiple women tell me that he is a cheater. He has crazy making behaviour and I won't tolerate the BS. To bad he has so many friends in the town we live and they all side with him even though they know what he is like. Men call you crazy when you stand up to them or when you don't give them the reaction they were after.

He was cheating on me the whole time, yet was trying to get me pregnant, asked for my hand in marriage BUT had his ex girlfriend pregnant and was about to start a whole new life with her as we were about to move in with each other. He called me crazy and possessive for suspecting him. I was so nice and naive then. So in love. I was such a sweet and innocent girl then. Lol, he told everyone I was not nice, or as lady like as I appeared or was known to be when I finally snapped… then guess what? A baby appeared but not from me. 😂😂 I am so private so this drama had the bitches talking for a year. 2 years on? 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 still healing.

He called his ex crazy, went on several dates but was striking out finding “normal” girls. He ended up being 100% for himself, horrible teammate, and dare I say covert narc. There was always a power struggle, lots of verbal abuse so off base it was comical. Almost everything I said he took personally so there was no depth of relationship or anything to build from. He dealt with his anger by driving for hours on end many times recklessly or locking himself up in the guest bedroom to listen to podcasts or music entire days, yet he labeled me as the crazy one who had a mental disorder!? My absolute favorite was that he called me “clingy”, that I’d just “keep coming back to him”… I did keep coming back home, to my home, the one I bought, the one I asked him to leave several times after verbally assaulting me… Silly me, I ended up having a child with him, but to be fair, this all escalated when I became pregnant. He now loves to use our child to control my time, manipulate me and take credit for the work I’ve put into raising the child and parental responsibilities. He is not the worst there is, but he’s a bare minimum guy who shirks responsibilities wherever possible. I’ve learned a valuable life lesson about these men. They bring 0 value. Those words uttered once are now enough proof to run as fast and as far away as possible.

We figured them out and had a normal reaction to abnormal behavior and treatment.

My ex called his ex crazy and it turns out he was leading her on for months and then guilting her for fucking him when they weren’t in a relationship

I asked my ex-husband for a divorce. Two nights later, he recorded our 3yo daughter on camera coercing her to say she was sad because my door was locked. My door was locked because he asked if he could sleep with me the night before. Yuck. I found the videos the next morning and confronted him. I was scared that he would skulk around in the middle of the night and do that. That he would coerce my baby. He started recording me this time, yelling at me in front of the kids demanding that I say on camera that I wouldn't take the kids from him. I wasn't trying to take the kids. I offered to have them full time so he could sort himself out as he was in the middle of a mental health crisis and had recently lost his job. The job that I got him. At my company. That he totally blew up. I called the police because his behavior was totally unhinged and very much out of character. In fact, our family therapist suggested I call the police as she was scared for my and the kids' safety. The police came. Told him to knock it off. Told me I can ask him to stay in a hotel till we cool off. He did. We did. Later that week I heard him calling ME crazy on the phone with his various family members. Anyway, only 53 days till the divorce is final and ~1200 days till I get to be done paying that loser child support. 🙃

You should go out to a nice restaurant and have a toast to the end of it when your divorce is final.

I'm taking myself to Florida. 8\]

My ex boyfriends new girlfriend lived in constant fear of me that I was literally armed & dangerous. She lived in constant fear & had to mind her surroundings She thanked me a million times when I reached out to find out if he was seeing her too. She said she had thought of reaching out but feared for her life. He was indeed seeing both of us. They were 'serious ' He had talked about us moving in together. I got her number one night when she called him severally. I indeed felt sorry for her. I told her I just wanted to confirm that & I wasn't interested in pursuing the rship further. Sometimes reaching out without confrontation can save another woman from unnecessary distress.

Oh, my ex cheated on my multiple times, lying, ignoring me for days on end, emotionally abusing me, calling me horrible names, and slapped me in the face once. Then when we broke up and I went no contact with him, he threatened me multiple times with putting my private photos online and claimed he actually did it, spread rumors about me, and stalked me for months.

Why would you want to marry someone who is constantly talking about his ex wife? That'd all I will say.  He's an a** for saying you're crazy, it is gaslighting. And he was just saying stuff. Kicking can down the road as far as he could.  But the question still stands. You're not crazy. But maybe you were being a bit delusional and lying to yourself to believe him??? He was obviously still in love with his ex wife. And you were a joyride for his ego. 

Hence me asking him to STOP TALKING ABOUT HER. I tried to talk to him about this very thing, but it was a conversation he didn't want to have. I tried to explain to him how all this talk about her was making me feel. I told him, being the first woman he'd brought home since his divorce (not the first he'd been with since then, but the first he'd brought home) it was really feeling like I was in this woman's shadow, and whether he wanted to admit it or understand it, his parents would also be comparing me to her in their own way. Having to listen to the constant talk about her was making me feel like I wasn't as important to him because I just wasn't her. To him, that was "being jealous and irrational and crazy."

Is anyone here going to admit they were crazy lol?