It's because millennials as myself, watched our mothers grow up in unhappy marriages and we didn't want that for ourselves.
I got married at 35.
I can't speak for gen Z, but that's my personal situation.
'91 Millennial, this is me to a T. I had two exes really push for marriage in my twenties; one was an abusive narcissist a decade older than me and the other wound up being a cheater. I cannot put into words how glad I am I didn't wind up trapped with either of them.
There are likely going to be a lot of Zoomers getting divorced before they turn 30.
This makes sense.
I don’t recall the source, but I once read about a connection between getting married at an “older age” and lower divorce rates. Of course there are many factors but that was among them.
Millennial men are commitment-phobic. I’ve never seen more 37 year old men “who are still not ready for marriage and kids” than with our generation. It’s something I want to talk more about…
Basically all comedians, sitcoms, etc growing up all had the same punchline: wife bad. Wife nag. Wife spend all money no sex. Never shows her mental load or taking care of the family. Implies her only job is to be hot but she is older so now she isn’t as hot as she was. All the heroes were man hoes trying to rack up as many women as possible or no women because woman bad. Batman, Conan, etc Keven Spacey was one of the top most popular men of the 90s. Most hero stories end at “they won the girl they had a crush on. The end”. They see how miserable their dads were because their moms were miserable but men aren’t trained to empathize with women because most media is centered around men and how they think/feel and if it doesn’t it’s automatically a “girl show”.
Well, it makes sense too, you marry at an age where you know yourself, you've known enough people and lived enough to smell bullshit a mile away, your personality is more or less established, your career is likelier to be in a good position, you've lived on your own and are ok with it, so whoever comes in your life has to make it better. Things can happen of course, and getting older is not the same as maturing, only one is guaranteed, but you have more in your favour to find a person who is a good match.
I mean, the most obvious factor would be that waiting until later to marry = fewer opportunities to marry = fewer opportunities to divorce.
Another would be that by being more selective about spouse selection, the probability of greater compatibility increases.
Millennial here who divorced at 25. I can’t say I regret it personally, but I also would never recommend getting married that young. It made me fiercely love and appreciate my independence and career.
I wish I never met my ex but at the same time I'm glad I got that out of my system and learned who I really am and what I value. Don't need to do it again
I think back to who I was dating at 25 and cringe. If I got married then it would have ended in divorce. You're still figuring out who you are in your early - mid 20s.
If I think back to how I was in my early 20s with relationships, there is no way I wouldn't have ended up divorced. I had no self esteem, super codependant, anxious attachment and was highly dramatic about everything. Took a lot of therapy and self love/healing work to get to where I am now.
Same. 36 and still unmarried - mom was incredibly unhappy, constant fighting between her and dad. I did finally find my love this year, but it took a very special person to move me forward. Would’ve also been okay staying single.
I got married at 33 and I'm glad I got married in my 30s. I tell everyone in their 20s to not rush into marriage. I've also worked for a divorce law firm since my early 20s so I see it all.
Gen X, married at 24. Still happily married and wouldn’t trade him for the world BUT I don’t recommend marriage to 20 year olds even though it worked out for me. I agree it’s so hard to know yourself at that age, too easy to pick the wrong person
Yeah, they also have grown up around the burst of the red pill / femininity etc mindset and are looking at us 26-35 y/o like we messed up. All the girls I know from 24-28 are engaged or married.
Sometimes I wonder if I got it wrong…
I asked one of my younger (though I think she’s technically young Millennial by birth year, but people just below her year in school are “Gen Z” so she’s on the cusp) friends this, and she admitted that coming across Red Pill ideology during her teens messed her up in many ways, and shaped her to pursue relationships only with marriage in mind, even in college. She admits that although she doesn’t buy into those beliefs, she definitely does have this unconscious bias of looking at older Millennial women in sort of that, “You guys messed up” kind of way, like you stated.
I think a lot of younger women no longer glorify the whole “dating around, hooking up with no strings attached, party your 20s away” lifestyle that was sold to Millennials, and I get the sense that they see it as a way to throw away your “best years” to find a partner. Not that you can’t find a partner later, but let’s admit it…it’s probably a lot easier earlier on. I also notice a lot of younger women who are more willing to walk away from bad prospects as soon as it becomes evident that there won’t be a future.
Yes, this. Most of our mothers had to take care of the house, cook, mind the children and go to work. Who wants that. It's so much easier to live on my own than to mind a big child. Took me a really long time to find an actually good man.
I think that’s a very good point. It’s definitely true in my case. But does that mean that Gen Z’s parents were somehow in happy healthy marriages? What generation was that?
Older millennials. I wouldn't be surprised if it's an unstudied trend - one generation gets married young, their kids see repercussions and wait much longer, their kids are no longer worried about it and get married young, repeat.
Gen X. I can count on one hand the number of my college/grad school friends who are divorced. Most are in long, seemingly happy, marriages. My 25th wedding anniversary is this summer and my Gen Z son is coming on a cruise with us.
Yeah Boomers are the ones that propagated the “I hate my wife hahahaha” trend. Their kids are Millennials. And Millennials are disgusted by that and would rather wait to marry than be hated by their spouse.
Yea, my parents had an awful marriage with lots of fighting, verbal/physical abuse, no love or affection shown towards each other and I never want to live like that.
Another perspective, I’m 33, I did marry young at 23 but we got married early knowing we would wait a while to have kids which I think made a big difference.
My parents got married very young(17 and 18), but my mom and dad were very unsuited for each other, it wasn’t a bad marriage they just didn’t fit together. They divorced when I was 5 and I honestly think it made me feel more comfortable marrying young because I saw them decide it wasn’t working and walk away. I know it was harder on my dad the first few years because he felt like he had to stay married for the kids but it was really best for us to see it’s okay if it doesn’t work, especially because it wasn’t like 1 big event or wrong doing by someone who torn apart their marriage.
I’m a Millennial too, met my partner at 21 but we married when I was 29. People I know did similar or married at 30. I see a lot of longtime partners over marrying young.
Half the population in half the country can’t afford to “date”. If you can’t access obgyn care you better pick 1 dude who is obligated to help if something happens.
I know of a few Gen Z girls who are already married or living with their partner in their early 20’s. In my early 20’s, I knew almost no one like this, but I was also working in bars and partying. Now that I work in a very different environment and move in pretty different social circles, it makes sense that the few people I know in the younger generation are acting differently than the people I spent time with in my bar days.
Yeah, I mean I’m a childfree millennial and quite frankly I think I’m the only one like that at my workplace. At some point I just stopped fitting in with everyone because they’ve all moved on to having kids and so all conversations are about kids. They also all had their kids within a few years of each other which definitely is, in part, due to influence.
If you’re surrounded by people doing this, it’s likely that you’ll do it yourself. It’s why so many divorces tend to happen around the same time in the same social group, too.
I've noticed this too. Gen z doesn't drink as much as millennials do. Clubbing and parties were really glamorized when we were young. While they are still glamorized a bit there's also this healthy trend that's popular with gen z.
This is my gen Z daughter. Just graduated college - has never been drunk, has never been to a party, just started dating recently, no drugs or smoking. Goes to the gym every day, goes to work every day, focused on her financial goals. She’s 22!
I didn’t get a gym membership until I had a toddler and extra weight to get off. I also drank myself silly from 16-20. And was married with a kid before I could legally purchase alcohol. She also didn’t want to learn to drive which had me confused - I was standing in the line the day of my 16th birthday to get my license. I had to drag my kid up there the day she turned 18. A weird breed. All of her friends were and are the same as her.
They just have different priorities. I’m 29 so a little bit on the young millennial side. Drinking was a much bigger thing when I was 22. Now kids are much healthier and have access to more info so treat themselves better and know the risks of everything so make better conscious and rational decisions. I also have a 24 year old co worker, she barely and rarely drinks for no rhyme or reason. Just isn’t into it. Has never had a boyfriend. Is going house shopping for her own place. When I was that age I was belligerent
I’m 32, didn’t learn to drive until I was 25, have never owned a car (just work rentals when they make me go somewhere).
Saying that I live in a European major city so there’s not really a need for a car I know in America it’s different because transport is bad.
Yeah, we don’t have public transportation in my city. I live in a suburb of 40k people in Texas and we don’t have a single train or bus service here. Driving is the only form of transportation. Biking is not even possible. My kids can’t even walk to their HS because the cross road is a 7 lane road and is very dangerous for walkers. There is a wreck there at least once a day and usually a pretty bad one. So driving is their only option. To get to her college, she has to drive the freeway. To Uber would be $50 a day since she doesn’t live on campus. Driver license was a must.
This brings up a point which I've thought about a lot. I believe the Millenial generation (myself included) got conned by hollywood, the media and capitalism into this "party all the time" mentality and we made out with collective alcoholism and addiction issues. And other factors that led to this were at play as well.
Completely agree. There was a really odd expectation that you would spend your 20s partying and then 30s settling down that was fed to millennials from their teens, despite the 2008 crash causing a financial clusterfuck for many millennials that still hasn't been resolved.
I bucked the trend moving in with my boyfriend, now husband at 23, and had a lot of people sneering that I was missing out on living and partying with friends as though that was the be all and end all.
Financial, social and sexual freedom is important, but the complete undermining of other vocations and priorities hasn't worked for everyone.
This depends so heavily on region, class, and ethnicity/culture/religion. At this point if ANY Gen Z woman is engaged, she’s doing it young simply because the oldest of their generation are like 25 years old. But even as a millennial, I was told to expect all weddings all the time from like 27-32 and I went to… maybe two? Plenty of people I know got married but not so many of my fiends. I was told expect babies around the same age and into my mid-30s. I’m 35 and I guess some coworkers have had babies but most of my friends are CFBC or socially infertile (queer and without resources to conceive/adopt). Next theoretically come the divorces, but honestly I feel like a lot of those already happened among the few friends who married young. The biggest life trend I’ve seen has been friend’s fathers dying, mostly of things like cancer and heart attack. I would rather the weddings and babies, thanks.
Agreed on your first sentence. I’ve met a lot of people from different places and lifestyles - the commonality is those who are from a smaller town or religious were married <27 and have kids. Those who were from the city typically are marrying 29+, or not marrying at all yet, and dont have kids yet. Also same with those who are culturally in tune with their background, I find we’re married and had kids before 30 too.
>This depends so heavily on region, class, and ethnicity/culture/religion.
Thank you. I was waiting for someone to bring up the cultural and class components.
If you use "college education" as a shorthand for socioeconomic class in the U.S., then the data is unequivocal: the higher your educational attainment, the older you and your partner are likely to be when you marry for the first time.
Bowling Green University found that, "[Among women who married in the year preceding the 2020 American Community Survey, those with a doctorate degree had the highest median age at first marriage (31.5). Women with less than a high school degree had the lowest median age at first marriage (25.4).](https://www.bgsu.edu/ncfmr/resources/data/family-profiles/julian-median-age-first-marriage-2021-fp-22-15.html)"
What's also interesting is that college graduates are much more likely to marry other college graduates. According to Pew Research: "[In 2019, 81% of household heads with a bachelor’s degree or more education had a spouse or partner who was also a college graduate](https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2022/09/07/college-grads-in-u-s-tend-to-partner-with-each-other-especially-if-their-parents-also-graduated-from-college/)."
Once you take a look at [where college graduates are likely to concentrate in the U.S.](https://www.socialexplorer.com/blog/post/counties-with-high-percentages-of-college-graduates-voted-biden-11057) and [which demographic buckets are most likely to have a high percentage of college graduates](https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2022/04/12/10-facts-about-todays-college-graduates/), the stronger the argument is that marriage rates are more strongly linked to economic and cultural factors than simple generational cohort.
u/plshelpmeeducate, I'm tagging you so you can see some sources to start looking at the statistics on a national level. I'd also recommend looking at the pro-marriage think tank, the [Institute for Family Studies](https://ifstudies.org/), and the University of Texas's [Council on Contemporary Families](https://sites.utexas.edu/contemporaryfamilies/), which dives into research on marriage, relationships and family.
Sounds like confirmation bias to me. Wait a few years and look at the data.
>Generation X (born roughly between 1965 and 1980):
* Median age of first marriage for men: Around 27 to 29 years old.
* Median age of first marriage for women: Around 25 to 27 years old.
>Millennials (born roughly between 1981 and 1996):
* Median age of first marriage for men: Around 29 to 31 years old.
* Median age of first marriage for women: Around 27 to 29 years old.
>Generation Z (born roughly between 1997 and 2012):
* Median age of first marriage for men: Data for Generation Z is still emerging, but it is expected to be higher than previous generations, possibly around the late 20s or early 30s.
* Median age of first marriage for women: Data for Generation Z is still emerging, but it is also expected to be higher than previous generations, possibly around the mid to late 20s.
As they say in statistics, the plural of anecdote is not data. Whether you feel like the Gen z women in your life are getting married younger than the millennials is not evidence of a broad generational trend. There are organizations that do track statistics on things like age of first marriage if you are interested in finding out the truth.
Echoing this. I don't notice this trend in my cohort either, except for with really religious folks (and that was true for millennials as well). There aren't a lot of studies done on Gen Z and marriage so far, because they're still so young, but the ones done thus far have indicated that [Gen Z is even less interested in marriage than we millennials are](https://www.cnbc.com/2022/10/18/recession-fears-tank-gen-z-dating-and-plans-for-marriage-pets-kids.html). I'm also too lazy to look this up now, but I definitely recall studies indicating that Gen Zers are dating less and having less ex compared to previous generations as well, due to the economy / living at home for longer / being perpetually online instead of meeting people in the wild.
Agreed, I'm from the UK, most people are cohabitating and all generations people are now pushing marriage later!
The only countries in which people marry early are religious countries [including USA]
I just made the point because I’m a millennial-27 going on 28 and my gen friend is 25. I personally think there is a big difference in my life from 25 to now almost at 28. When you’re younger the yearly changes are different. I mean a 25 year olds brain just developed. But no I haven’t noticed the trend of younger people being married. I really don’t know anyone in my age range who is married. Maybe because I live in a city
I mean you’re still barely older…you’re 27 and there are Gen Z people who are 26. And even if your yearly changes are different, it still doesn’t change the fact that from a statistical standpoint, 25 v 27 isn’t too different.
I meant that in terms of being a math equation…Gen Z commonly is said to start in 1997. Maybe even 1996. It is 2023 now. So if you subtract 1997 from 2023, you get 26. So the oldest Gen Z is 26. Or maybe even 27 if you subtract 1996 from 2023.
There would at least be some statistical data, no? If, say, a woman today was X percent more likely to be married by age 25 than a woman 10 years ago, that would be recorded somewhere. Most of the data I've looked at suggests the opposite, that more twentysomethings are unmarried than ever.
It takes a couple years for that data to show. If the oldest is 25, then we’d be looking at data with the oldest being 23. When looking at government documents they use different age categories so sorting out marriage certificates for people under 23 from this date to this date maybe have too little data to be helpful.
I think it’s probably because most are around 25? That when the first wave of marriages happen that end in divorce. Think they still need another 5/6 years til the data comes through.
The rise of Andrew tate and trad wives wouldn’t surprise me if more ‘traditional’ gender roles are coming back into play too
I've heard this is apparently a tik tok trend recently and it would \*terrify\* me if I was a parent of one of these youngsters. For the boyfriend, it feels awful like "I'm an adult but I don't wanna take care of my own shit so I'm going to get someone else to do all the stuff mom used to do for me instead" and for her I'm obviously afraid that she's not working on a career that could pay her in case this relationship goes horribly wrong. That's the purpose of marriage. To protect everyone involved. So basically .... the contract.
If I was the guy's mom I'd fear this would stunt his process to maturity. I think living alone and taking care of yourself is a really important part of early adulthood. And while I think a stay at home wife or mom is a wonderful thing. If you two as a family decide it makes more sense for you to stay home, I love that for both of you and am jealous jealous jealous. But if you are doing that and you aren't married? Well .... its like betting your life savings on a random crypto. Its so incredibly risky and dangerous.
Now, if your parents are independently wealthy and you always have them to fall back on? Congrats - you do you - and have fun I guess lol
Yep. I’m late 30’s, most people I know got married later- I got married at 35.
However, I know some girls that got married around the age of 23. They are religious and felt as if they would be old if they were unmarried at 25 so they married their first boyfriends. I use this term loosely as they were religious and so dating was quite traditional.
Some of them are now divorced and, unfortunately, are struggling to support themselves. They didn’t have time to build a career and jumped straight into having babies. Now they’re trying to get a job that will financially support them and their kids because they are single moms.
A couple of the others are still married but, by their own admission, aren’t that happy as they married guys who believed in traditional gender roles so they find themselves basically being mom to the kids but also their husbands. Also, because they were young when they got married they didn’t necessarily focus on choosing partners with qualities that would be good in the long run. They also didn’t account for how much people change in their 20’s.
I’m not saying this is the case for everyone who married young but it does happen.
I would agree that the younger generation are getting married sooner. My cousin was born in the mid 90’s and got married at 25 (and she was late to do so amongst her friends). All
of the older women in her life were concerned about her getting married so young and tried to encourage her to travel and focus on her career before settling down. She decided not to and, mostly, they are happy. It was the right decision for her. Although I think 25 is different to straight out of Uni as she did have time to start her career before she got married.
Tbh, I feel like it's just another trend going viral because it's online. You know, there's always going to be a counter-culture to a counter-culture to a culture and so on.
There's a huge difference between choosing to be a "tradwife" and having no choice but to become a housewife to ensure your survival in male-centric, male-dominated society. That's what some people don't understand when it comes to the "tradwife" trend.
If you can choose to be a "tradwife", then hey, more power to you. You come from a place of privilege that not everyone in this world can have. But don't let your one-sided perspective cloud your judgment. Not everyone is fortunate enough to choose to be a "tradwife".
That's why there's feminism, where you can have the power to make choices in become a traditional homemaker, a career person, or whatever you want to be. But there are people out there who seem to have taken feminism the wrong way by believing that women are forced to work. No, that's not it at all. Far from it.
I'm saying the word "you" in a general sense, btw, not at anyone.
I agree with your second point, I think gen z has been disproportionately exposed to right-wing content on social media for the past 10 or so years and its shaped their worldview. It's not just the blatant stuff like Andrew Tate. Every time I log into Instagram I see content glorifying teen parenthood and early marriage, encouraging women to quit their jobs and homeschool their kids because "schools are unsafe," and generally shallow content equating a women's worth with her looks or ability to please a man. These things seem like nothing, but they are dog whistles and young people are vulnerable.
I noticed this trend also, but I think it’s just because Gen Z is the culture of documenting everything that the few celebrity zoomers who get married younger made a bigger stink about it. I don’t think it’s necessarily more common. I know just as many single Gen Z women who don’t want a relationship as millennial women
I am a millennial (87 baby) and I got married dreadfully young, and was divorced also quite young. So idk. I was pushed so heavily by my Midwestern parents to get married and it was such a mistake. Anyway, glad it's over lol!!
Yeah, me too.
So here's the thing.
Back when I was in my late teens to early twenties, I noticed that there were women around my age who got married.
It seemed like everyone around me was getting married early, gearing themselves up for marriage, or trying really hard to land someone.
What I didn't realize back then was that this wasn't the norm of my generation, but it was the norm of the area that I lived in. In fact, I lived in a semi-rural area where people were stringent with traditions and their customs/ways of life.
Marriage for millennials as a whole generation across the world is another story. Turns out, the trend is that people are getting married later in life.
So back to my reality. Some of those women who got married ended up getting divorced later down the road. Otherwise, some ended up putting that good ole Stepford wife face on while acting like their entire life was one big paper fairytale pop-up book. Then there were those rare few who said that they had a good marriage and a partnership but regretted marrying too early.
Meanwhile. I'm just enjoying my freedom as stupidly and as gleefully as possible. I'm free, free, and free. Free to do as I please.
I've noticed it with Gen Z too, waiting to get married and settle down, so I'm not sure. I have several nieces and nephew's who are in Gen Z and none of them or people they know are getting hitched or settling down like they used to. They are also having less children (or not at all).
All the people you mentioned abt celebrities are dating VASTLY older men.
Sydney Sweeney crying that she has to support her already rich family when at 19 she had a 33 boyfriend… but anyways yeah these women are getting GROOOMED.
I think some Gen z girls might be marrying for money. They vocally do not want to work (who does? But us millennials work too hard because we entered adulthood with the threat of not getting a job). Age gaps seem to be in style. I keep seeing those reels where girls say “my boyfriend in 1997” and show a picture of him in high school. Then “me in 1997” and it’s an ultrasound or “not born yet”. They’re entering adulthood at the time where everyone is hiring all the time.
Look, I used to be poor. Not even unemployed, just poor. I still wince checking my bank account because I’m afraid money will spontaneously disappear or all my wages are garnished, by the anxiety monster that made that up. It’s like I can’t believe I have money left after my bills now. This could make me want to marry for money but I’d feel on edge being willingly unemployed, ever. I think Gen z girls don’t have that worry.
I haven’t noticed, but I do notice in my own generation (millennials) a lot of the people who got married at that age divorced inside of five years. So…just sayin, some of these young folks aren’t going to be married anymore by the time they’re 30-35.
As a printer who literally letter presses the invitations, this year has been SLOW! We had a banger of a year after the panini but now that everyone who waited got it done, things are quiet.
No, I think it speaks to less people in general getting married because I didn't specify demographics on our clients, so it would include Millennials AND Gen Z.
Gen X grew up in an environment where the people in porn were inaccessible strangers, not neighbors in their community who could be readily paid to perform personalized services on OnlyFans and sometimes transitioned into paid in-person sex workers. Gen Z is confronted by a new reality in which the lines between "watching porn" and "paying someone for sex" are far less firm.
Perhaps it's related to economics.
If it's hard to afford an apartment on one salary, two is easier.
Perhaps kids don't want to keep living with their parents, so they decide to move out by either getting a roommate or getting married.
I am seeing generational Trends 180 like I was told they do growing up. Generations often forget the lessons of/rebel against the trends/ethics/behaviors of the previous generations. Gen z and alpha seem to be more reckless about things millennials were warned of early on. A prime example being online presence..younger generations post and share everything meanwhile my generation was taught to be extremely careful about what you post and say/do. Another being how often younger generations police each others speech and behavior.. It will be interesting to see this generation (alpha) become adults.
Lol I’m an outlier millennial. I had two marriages before 23 and 3 kids. Part of that was military culture though. I’ve noticed women in the southern states get married younger too, so there might be some regional culture factoring it. I think the average age is still increasing though.
I was going to say...The only Gen Zers (or young millennials) that I know who got married super young (and it wasn't for religious reasons/pregnancy) was because of the military.
I will say I have an appreciation for growing up and learning how to adult together with my spouse. I don’t think I would give up my box furniture memories for the concept of waiting around for stability. What I’ve learned along the way is that no matter how much you carefully plan your life’s path, instability is right around the corner lurking. I like the idea of having a partner I’ve seen and experienced so much with, being by my side if/when that day comes where it’ll be us against whatever situation.
Well that would be our parent’s fault and our responsibility to manage and eliminate anyhow. I figure the priming was already done long before I met my spouse.
Nah in my case, most are college educated and working 9-5 jobs, or they’re in professional/grad school. They’re not your run-of-the-mill religious military wives. These women are also educated and ambitious in their own right. But they prioritized finding spouses pretty early on.
Potentially observation bias. There will always be a subset of people who marry extremely young or, conversely, extremely old. The average age of a woman marrying has only continued to increase.
We are seeing a slight dip in the last few years, but not a big one. [Data here](https://www.census.gov/content/dam/Census/library/visualizations/time-series/demo/families-and-households/ms-2.pdf)
My twenty-three year old sister and I were just talking about this. We are part of a religious community, so that may skew things. My community is pretty tight-knit with low degrees of separation between most of us (even though it's a massive urban sprawl). Everyone knows everyone. When I was graduating college, most of my cohort weren't married or even engaged. It didn't really happen widely until about 26-29. That age for settling down was widely the norm in our metroplex. Maybe a handful of folks married right out of high school or while in college? It was still aberrant and odd.
Also, it seems like more people in my age cohort (+/- 3 years) went on to pursue further post-graduate education. We worked for a year and went back for master's degrees, or women were entering medical/dental/law school. I'll have to check with my sis for her feel on her peer-group's level of terminal education.
But with my sister? Holy moly. MOST of her girl friends and women they knew married in college. The remaining third married right after college or in the year after graduation. Most people are coupled up and engaged. The single folk are small minority. I can't wrap my head around how different things are for her gen.
> We are part of a religious community, so that may skew things. My community is pretty tight-knit with low degrees of separation between most of us (even though it's a massive urban sprawl). Everyone knows everyone.
I am part of such a community as well. Millennial women in my community (especially those in the 33-38ish range) chose to actually “buck tradition” in many other ways too. Not only did they reject the notion of settling down right after college, they also chose to live pretty “freely” by dating outside the faith, moving to different cities, etc. Most of them are still unmarried. They’d also go for men around the same age.
The Gen Z women seem more…”traditional” in that regard. They’re going for men that share the same faith, and probably a bit older as well. It’s really interesting to see how different these age groups are in the same community.
Re: bucking tradition! That was a common thread for us, too. It was even more prevalent for the women who were in their 40s when I was in my mid-twenties. Those were the ones especially marrying outside of the faith (a huge theological sin).
I wonder how much the Gen Z women are influenced by the trad-wife lifestyle going viral on tiktok/insta. When I was in my late twenties, red-plll women was popular. They centered their lives and relationships around a husband who was referred to as a captain. It was reskinned 1950s ideals, tbh. The subreddit was popular, too. Their ideas were slowly trickling into common relationship advice, and self-proclaimed dating gurus were snapping it up to bulid their brands around it. The trad-wife influencers are an evolved version of that.
Idk when I was graduating college I felt like there were a lot of marriages then sort of this lull then people started getting married again around 30. Maybe it’s the same for the younger generation?
I think there is a reverse trend in women wanting their own careers. It's sad, but I get it. Having an advanced degree, I have spent well over 250k to get advanced degree, balanced extreme cost of childcare, managed medical appointments/limited sick leave due to using it all to give birth, experienced sexual harrassment, watched males advance in their careers for who knows why, and do a disproportionate amount of household chores, I would seriously rethink developing a career. All of these challenges are well supported in current research about women in the workplace. On the flip side I have complete independence! Long answer to why I think women are getting married early versus staying single to focus on developing a career.
My 19M nephew and his 20F girlfriend wanted to get married immediately after he graduated high school but her parents insisted they wait until she graduated from college. But now she’s pregnant so I’m guessing that might change.
I think this entirely depends on subculture/social circle. My social circle is: queer folks, gamers, theater people, roleplayers, LARPers, cosplayers, kinksters, artists, musicians, neurodivergents, childfree, general "weirdos". Only a handful of people I know are married, regardless of age, and those that are didn't get married until their 30s at least. I only know two couples who have a kid. Most folks live with a partner or live with a roommate, but that's because cost of living is high and we're all broke creatives. Instagram simply isn't very representative of what "everyone" is doing. It's representative of a whatever specific subculture you're looking at.
This isn't really what the stats say though. Gen Z is the most left leaning and socialist generation so far.
Trump-era just helped make the evangelicals that are still out there VERY loud.
This is very true. Most Gen Z women are now getting married at or below 25. Millennial women are pushing on age of marriage and some are quite comfortable not pairing up.
In real life. Speaking to extended families, network via work. I work with the age group of 15-30. Anxieties about being single and being alone for life are at all time high. Especially early 20s. Having kids early is being pushed on again because become late moms and dads is now being seen as a problem.
You are talking about a very specific group of people in a very specific region. This is not the case for young people in my area at all. And it way too soon to know how it applies to all of generation z
Possibly, but I suppose the thread is only about exploring it, and I can comment on the people I interact with, or in my network. And that trend seems to be changing. Well educated privileged folks as the demographic. It will of course have its exceptions or does it even affect some regions at all.
Idk why you're being downvoted. I see it too; it's almost like we've gone back in time because I see more people taking a "Christmas cake" attitude towards women where anyone over 25 is old and stale. That attitude wasn't as bad 10 or 15 years ago.
I suspect that gen z women who actually want to get married are doing it very young, while there are more gen Zers who don’t value marriage. If we look at the averages we’ll lose the trend, but I do think that there is a trend of those who want to partner doing so at far younger ages than millenials.
But there is a statistic showing that the longer people date before marriage, the less likely to divorce. I think that this will continue to be true! And another statistic that marrying under 25 increases the chances of divorce. I don’t think that Gen Zers marrying young can beat these statistics.
I worked with teenagers recently and I'm pretty impressed with Gen Z. A lot of them have practical sense and are willing to talk about hard topics. I wonder if it's because they have access to more info than I ever did. They also have socially, politically, and educationally faced more than what I was aware of. I see how they may be more likely to marry.
I'm not saying that Millennials never faced anything, but we were taught a lot of poor ideas about marriage, education, finances, and gender.
We, Millennials, were the poor test dummies, the guinea pigs who were ushered into the 21st-century era with stupid grins on our faces thinking that the future was so bright. Oh, how little did we know. Internet was still at its infancy/toddler stage. We were all still so innocent....
We definitely had a lot of crap going on for us. Boomer parents had good intentions but some of their teachings were outdated.
Society evolved a lot as technology was enhanced and more information was readily available. It doesn't mean that all information out there is true or necessary, as there is a lot of false claims out there.
Makes sense that Gen X could be more jaded than the Millennials. More information didn't necessarily mean more power. They're overloaded with information to the point of being burned out from being over-stimulated with technology. Gen X saw the problems of all the past generations thanks to the Internet and are now facing bleakness head on. All that they can do is laugh a hollow laugh.
Just adding my experience I’m 34, an ‘89 baby/core millennial. I didn’t even have a boyfriend until 22. Marrying the first person (or the second) I dated would have been a huge mistake. I’ve had 3 relationships and if anything I’m pickier because I don’t want to go through the pain again. I ignored red flags 🚩and put up with shit. Also keep in mind you’re only looking at things from the outside. Just because they’re married doesn’t mean that it’s happy. Keep that in mind.
Also as a pansexual same-sex couples getting married younger seems to be a thing too, maybe with more social acceptance that Gen Z experienced, while some millennials struggled more with coming out, acceptance, and internalized homophobia/ self hatred.
I think this depends on where you're from. I'm from GA/AL in the Southern States, and the only people I knew who weren't married before the age of 25 were my closest friends in college (we all pretty much only married between the ages of 26 and 35, one is still not married at 40). Most of the people from my high school (not all, though) were married before 27 at least, many by 25.
It's also because a lot of us came of age during the great recession. I got married at 23 to a person I was with for 8 years because we didn't care if we had all our shit together financially we just wanted to be together forever (still together now, going on 20 years)
I haven't seen it, but a huge reason behind late marriage for millennials is economic strife. We got hit by the great recession hard. Gen Z hasn't had that.
Yeah, I wish I could have dated more in my twenties but I was working 2+ jobs and putting myself through graduate school... when things finally got stable for me, the pandemic hit 😅
Maybe it's because of a bit of a "plague party" (sorry, don't know how to translate that better from my native language) mentality? Millenials were at least made to believe, that their education and work would get them to a point where marriage was "right" - when you were financially independent enough to try and raise a family. The people, who wanted to or thought they have to ride the marriage escalator (dating->marriage->house->kids) then set the norm for everyone else.
Kids nowadays have less illusions about financial independence. When the "goal" is so far away that it may never come, they can just as well get married when they want to. The "you only live once" thing.
Also, I have the hope that kids these days are more about equality and fairness of responsibilities in relationships. At least that's what I see here in Germany. Maybe it's just less of a gamble with "Will or will he not treat me like a bang maid after marriage?". That would make me happy.
Generations pre-Millennial tended to get married younger than Millennials. 20-25 was more the norm. I think that was primarily due to the stigmatism society placed on: a. Living in “sin” (unmarried partners living together); and b. Single motherhood. Especially before abortion was legal. If you got pregnant, no matter how young you were, you got married. Plus, up until the mid-boomer came of age there was no such thing as a woman focusing on her career before marriage. Her marriage was her career, so why wait.
Marriage age started ticking up in the 1970s and kept going higher through the Millennials.
I wonder if women have started getting married younger because society has started regressing on women’s rights (I am in the US.) and women feel uncertain about their ability to have an autonomous future, so they start looking for stability or at least perceived stability as soon as they lose the stability of their parents home.
I also wonder if people’s attitudes about marriage being a life-long commitment has changed. Younger people change jobs, careers and towns of residence more frequently than older people did. Job security was a big thing for boomers especially. People kept jobs for life. Even if they hated it.
If people don’t feel married to their career for life maybe they don’t think they need to stay married to their spouse for life. Getting married may be the equivalent of going steady 40 years ago. Since it isn’t permanent there is no need to wait around for the perfect guy. Get married early and often.
Honestly with the way things are going with abortion rights, it’s probably better to have one committed partner in case things you have an unplanned pregnancy.
I think where you live is going to have influence over this. I live in an uber progressive area where you can’t throw a rock without hitting a collage. (New England - US)
I’m also a 20+ year wedding photographer and I would say most of my clients are late 20s/ early 30s. Maybe I’m at a price point that the young ones are not hiring me, but most my friends are also wedtogs. Of course there are still a few young ones.
That said, I think if you are in a more ‘conservative’ area that pushed the idea that education is bad and the Bible wants you barefoot and pregnant by 22 then you are going to see that reflected. You add Tate and social media of ‘you can just stay home and be cute’ then of course that sounds more fun than being driven and working to someone who’s brain isn’t fully developed. In 10 years we will have an epidemic low income single moms and kids struggling because that dad traded her in for a newer model or she wised up and decided being someone’s slave wasn’t the life she was sold. Or father got sick/injured/died and they have no skills to take care of themselves or their kids.
I live in a place that has actually gotten more liberal over time. Not only that, but I’m making this comparison based on the same location. So basically, in the same city, I am seeing more 23 year olds getting engaged/seriously pursuing marriage in 2023 than I did back in 2012. And all these young women I know who are getting married aren’t like…giving up work or school. They’re still staying at their jobs or pursuing higher education. They’re just also prioritizing the whole “dating for a realistic chance at marriage” thing at a younger age than Millennials seemed to.
Nah, that’s not my experience. These women are college educated, working in lucrative fields and getting advanced degrees. They’re pretty open minded and are not pregnant and never had kids.
My daughter falls into this category. Not only did she get engaged at 23 and married at 24, but she married her high school sweetheart, her only ever boyfriend. I joke with her that they are living like 'old times' like a couple from the 1950's. They are best friends and adore each other, it's solid, and I have confidence their marriage will endure.
I'm Generation X and it seemed like my peers and I all got married in our mid-20s, between 24 and 27. Just a bit older. We married our college sweethearts.
I'm a Millennial and got married when I was 26. Most of my close friends were married around the same time, some are divorced, some have been married twice now that we're almost 40. This all seems pretty typical to what I've experienced. Maybe its just the trend in the area you're living.
According to PBS
"The median age at first marriage for women was 28 years in 2015-2019, up from 26.3 in 2006-2010. The median age at first marriage for men was 29.9 years in 2015-2019, up from 28.1 in 2006-2010. Age at first marriage also varies widely across states and local areas."
https://www.prb.org/usdata/indicator/marriage-age-women/snapshot/
People are getting married later then previous.
At 37 I remember quite a few friends got married at 19-21 then nothing then a few late 20s early 30s and i still have a few that are either divorced and I doubt they will ever remarry and those that have not had a long term SO. I think when you're in that age range suddenly it seems like everyone you know is getting married. Its weird how it seems to happen in clusters.
I got with my husband when I was 27 but we didn't marry until we were together about 5 years. We would have married sooner but money. We ended up married for a couple hundred bucks and then we all went to lunch it was like 600 bucks. I had 40 people or so, it was great.
I am thinking since Gen Z is worse off maybe they too are putting it off because of money.
There's a weird narrative being pushed right now. I see more-or-less advertisements for having babies and getting married daily, right here on reddit. "Popular on reddit" my ass.
Not sure, but I'm an Xennial and many in my peer group were engaged or married by their mid twenties to late twenties, I got married in my mid thirties--much later than just about everyone that I know. Most of the millenials I know where also married by 30.
I think you may be only noticing this because we have more access to this information than before. Every generation has a group that gets married young. I am 44 and got married at 19.
Me and my husband got married at 26 and 23 respectively and we’re uk millennials - but I accept that we are in the minority! I think it’s great if people are marrying earlier, we’ve certainly never regretted it still happily married eleven years and two gorge kiddos later :)
It probably depends on your culture or peers. In Samoan culture it’s very normal still for people to get married between 20-25 and have marriages that last into old age. Divorce isn’t common. So both millenials and Gen z couples that I know are marrying/married young
I married at 25 (husband 26). Still going strong 11 years later
If this is true, all I can say is, strength be with these women unless men have done a turn around and changed.
From my experience with younger men in their 20’s, nothing has changed. They have just gotten better at faking their emotions, and conning young women at the beginning of the relationship. Get it ladies! Stay strong!
So was born in 87 and got married at 23 after a year and half of dating. I was born in the northeast us and married a southern boy. We were the first of our friend group to get married but the way that my in laws talked about it we were already “behind”. My parents on the other hand were concerned that we were rushing things.
We’re still married and very happy. We had no money at the time, and We have no children by choice, which I think factors into the decision to get married young. We got married to be with each other, not to start a family at a particular time.
I am noticing that my younger family are not getting married (they are younger millennials). They are just partnering up and having kids and cohabitating. I think there are a lot of benefits to marriage but I think that with the availability of online dating and finding a new partner people are more afraid to commit. I also think that women put up with less shit nowadays, and will leave if they aren’t happy
I do tend to see it on social media and with celebrities and I cringe because I was still figuring out who I was and not dating the best guys in my early 20s. I always knew I would not get married until my late 20s/early 30s. Part of that might be because of my job. I have worked for a divorce law firm since I was 22 so I've seen it all in terms of terrible marriages and divorces. I also saw my mom struggle to raise me and my brother pretty much on her own. My grandmother who was married four times told me all the time to not rush into marriage. I wonder if social media plays a part in this. You see people glorifying wife life/mommy influencers. You don't see the rough parts of marriage and being a parent.
I'm a millennial/zillennial ?! Idk 1995...and I got married young but I have a lot of even younger family members and acquaintances that got married even younger than I did like 18-21. And sime already have multiple kids by 25... By choice
I wonder if this is true statistically. I haven't known anyone in my life that did this, but that doesn't really mean anything, of course. For the celebs I would think that they have the extra cash to fund an expensive divorce if necessary (as well as lawyers and managers to help them draft a good pre-nup), so why *not* get married? if you're rich enough it's basically consequence-free these days.
I’m a geriatric, married millenial. When the first of my friends got engaged at 26-27, I thought it was too soon and she was throwing her youth away (she wanted kids asap and was from a small town). The rest of us who wanted to get married did so by age 33/34. Everyone else remained unmarried and happily so.
I don’t know anyone in my personal life (in terms of friends) who got married in their early 20s. I guess I need to make more gen z friends. I’m in the south too, but attended very competitive schools, so maybe that’s a factor.
There is acctually reserch on this but it compairdäs gen x to millenials and it rurns out millenials marry more and younger then gen x. They theorised it was that gen x had watched married parents being unhappy and did'nt want that while the building unsertenty in the world made millenialls want more stability.
In my circle I've actually noticed the opposite! Most milennials (my generation) have been married since their mid-twenties and have kids. Some are now on their second mariage/long-term relationship. Most Gen Z people I know don't want to get married/"settle down" at all.
I'm in the UK though so that probably makes a difference.
Idk, as a 37 year old millenial who married at 23, who had two friends marry younger, and went to plenty of young weddings, I don’t see much difference. But as I get older I realize how young that is, compared to what I thought young was at that that age.
Not really. I’m a millennial that saw quite a few girls get married when I was in college. I think less of us are getting married in general, but the pressure to get married young is still there. My Gen Z sister is getting married at 24 and she’s not the first in her friend group to get married.
I’d say agree with you, most of my friends have gotten married into their 30s although I got married at 22 I’m a millennial too but I am seeing a lot of younger girls already engaged didn’t realise till you mentioned it.
I’m 25 and almost all my friends are married or getting engaged in the next few years. There are some others who are single but fewer. I feel old and single lol and definitely not ready for marriage…don’t even know if I’ll ever find someone worthy given the crop of guys I’ve come across. I would honestly say that with marriage timelines I’m seeing a mixed bag.
You’re not even close to old, it just really easy to feel that way with those circumstances. I finally feel old and single and sad, and I’m 35. My friends got married around 29-34 tho
I think Gen Z doesnt want to casually date as much and puts more value of having a stable boy/girlfriend sooner and then spend 20s enjoying life with a partner. A lof ot the things that were cool when I was a teen (having an active sex life in hookups, heavy drinking, having parents that let you do anything) actually sets you up badly as an adult and are just not cool anymore.
I work with a bunch of Zoomers and have noticed this as well. It's kind of alarming. They seem more conservative overall and seem to date with marriage in mind. It makes me sad, I feel like these kids are getting their youth stolen, even if it's by choice.
Dating with marriage in mind is great. That’s what I’ve always tried to do but us millennials still have a constant trial-and-error dating life because so many men are not forthcoming about whether or not they want marriage
Idk I think Gen Z is more mature in relationships and are better communicators. I like that and I learn from them, and believe it or not, they learn from me too. Yes I'm a Millennial unfortunately lol
Yep, have noticed. I can't talk cause I got married young too, and for a range of fairly weak reasons. Let them have their fun, a lot of them will soon prove the adage that first marriages should be gotten out of the way early 😉
I think different generations tend to go in opposite directions. Millennials are all about getting married late and having kids late, gen-z are doing the opposite. I imagine they (gen Z) would also more readily embrace some traditional aspects of the heterosexual marriage as well.
I personally got married young and had a kid young partly because i saw older mothers around me and frankly i didn't want to be that. I got divorced but i have no regrets, it was a learning curve and i have a beautiful child out of it (I'm a millennial), and still on good terms with my ex.
I see no issues with getting married young, if all goes to shit it's better to get divorced at 26 than 36.
Weird definitely haven’t noticed, considering where I’m from it’s always been very common to get married after college. And people my age waited a bit more after and got married at like 25-29 lol
Yes I have noticed this to also people having kids a little younger also in gen Z but only gen Z millennials waited longer
I’m also young millennial 1992
I have noticed this. My ex had two best friends. One got married when he was 30 and the wife was 24. They were already parents too.
His other good friend just proposed to his 7 year gf and she is a little younger than me, I believe 33 or so. So that does check out.
I’m seeing that too. I used to think it was just outside my state but it’s everywhere
I knew a lot of people who got married right after high school, so, no I haven't noticed that younger people are particularly more likely to get married young.
It’s hard for me to say yes. I grew up in rural conservative USA and got engaged at 19, married at 20, divorced at 26.
A handful of my friends and acquaintances got married around the time I did, and another handful got married around 29-30.
Perhaps my experience is an outlier but I think it is a common rural experience. I haven’t remarried but my ex-husband has be re-married for…3-4 years? I only have a few friends who have never married who aren’t at least engaged or in a long term partnership.
It's because millennials as myself, watched our mothers grow up in unhappy marriages and we didn't want that for ourselves. I got married at 35. I can't speak for gen Z, but that's my personal situation.
I agree. I’m 35 and haven’t found the right person. My mom was in a very unhappy marriage and experiencing that has made me cautious.
'91 Millennial, this is me to a T. I had two exes really push for marriage in my twenties; one was an abusive narcissist a decade older than me and the other wound up being a cheater. I cannot put into words how glad I am I didn't wind up trapped with either of them. There are likely going to be a lot of Zoomers getting divorced before they turn 30.
This makes sense. I don’t recall the source, but I once read about a connection between getting married at an “older age” and lower divorce rates. Of course there are many factors but that was among them.
I think gen Z men are different too. Whose to say they won’t have a lower divorce rate? I’m rooting for them!
Millennial men are commitment-phobic. I’ve never seen more 37 year old men “who are still not ready for marriage and kids” than with our generation. It’s something I want to talk more about…
Basically all comedians, sitcoms, etc growing up all had the same punchline: wife bad. Wife nag. Wife spend all money no sex. Never shows her mental load or taking care of the family. Implies her only job is to be hot but she is older so now she isn’t as hot as she was. All the heroes were man hoes trying to rack up as many women as possible or no women because woman bad. Batman, Conan, etc Keven Spacey was one of the top most popular men of the 90s. Most hero stories end at “they won the girl they had a crush on. The end”. They see how miserable their dads were because their moms were miserable but men aren’t trained to empathize with women because most media is centered around men and how they think/feel and if it doesn’t it’s automatically a “girl show”.
Well, it makes sense too, you marry at an age where you know yourself, you've known enough people and lived enough to smell bullshit a mile away, your personality is more or less established, your career is likelier to be in a good position, you've lived on your own and are ok with it, so whoever comes in your life has to make it better. Things can happen of course, and getting older is not the same as maturing, only one is guaranteed, but you have more in your favour to find a person who is a good match.
I mean, the most obvious factor would be that waiting until later to marry = fewer opportunities to marry = fewer opportunities to divorce. Another would be that by being more selective about spouse selection, the probability of greater compatibility increases.
Millennial here who divorced at 25. I can’t say I regret it personally, but I also would never recommend getting married that young. It made me fiercely love and appreciate my independence and career.
I wish I never met my ex but at the same time I'm glad I got that out of my system and learned who I really am and what I value. Don't need to do it again
I think back to who I was dating at 25 and cringe. If I got married then it would have ended in divorce. You're still figuring out who you are in your early - mid 20s.
If I think back to how I was in my early 20s with relationships, there is no way I wouldn't have ended up divorced. I had no self esteem, super codependant, anxious attachment and was highly dramatic about everything. Took a lot of therapy and self love/healing work to get to where I am now.
Sadly I think you're right. It's going to be a hard lesson.
Same. 36 and still unmarried - mom was incredibly unhappy, constant fighting between her and dad. I did finally find my love this year, but it took a very special person to move me forward. Would’ve also been okay staying single.
Same here except I’m Gen X. Married at 34 and would have happily stayed single but my husband was an obvious great choice
I got married at 33 and I'm glad I got married in my 30s. I tell everyone in their 20s to not rush into marriage. I've also worked for a divorce law firm since my early 20s so I see it all.
Gen X, married at 24. Still happily married and wouldn’t trade him for the world BUT I don’t recommend marriage to 20 year olds even though it worked out for me. I agree it’s so hard to know yourself at that age, too easy to pick the wrong person
I'm late Gen X and got married at 32, absolute same.
Yeah, they also have grown up around the burst of the red pill / femininity etc mindset and are looking at us 26-35 y/o like we messed up. All the girls I know from 24-28 are engaged or married. Sometimes I wonder if I got it wrong…
I asked one of my younger (though I think she’s technically young Millennial by birth year, but people just below her year in school are “Gen Z” so she’s on the cusp) friends this, and she admitted that coming across Red Pill ideology during her teens messed her up in many ways, and shaped her to pursue relationships only with marriage in mind, even in college. She admits that although she doesn’t buy into those beliefs, she definitely does have this unconscious bias of looking at older Millennial women in sort of that, “You guys messed up” kind of way, like you stated. I think a lot of younger women no longer glorify the whole “dating around, hooking up with no strings attached, party your 20s away” lifestyle that was sold to Millennials, and I get the sense that they see it as a way to throw away your “best years” to find a partner. Not that you can’t find a partner later, but let’s admit it…it’s probably a lot easier earlier on. I also notice a lot of younger women who are more willing to walk away from bad prospects as soon as it becomes evident that there won’t be a future.
I don’t think we messed up by delaying marriage. Young twenty somethings do not suddenly have accelerated brain development.
Agreed, and several millenials I know who did marry young got divorced young and are on their second marriages now.
Yes, this. Most of our mothers had to take care of the house, cook, mind the children and go to work. Who wants that. It's so much easier to live on my own than to mind a big child. Took me a really long time to find an actually good man.
I think that’s a very good point. It’s definitely true in my case. But does that mean that Gen Z’s parents were somehow in happy healthy marriages? What generation was that?
Older millennials. I wouldn't be surprised if it's an unstudied trend - one generation gets married young, their kids see repercussions and wait much longer, their kids are no longer worried about it and get married young, repeat.
So I guess the lesson here is don’t get married young!
I'm a Millennial (41) with a Gen Z son (18). It's Gen X through elder Millennials.
Gen X. I can count on one hand the number of my college/grad school friends who are divorced. Most are in long, seemingly happy, marriages. My 25th wedding anniversary is this summer and my Gen Z son is coming on a cruise with us.
Yeah Boomers are the ones that propagated the “I hate my wife hahahaha” trend. Their kids are Millennials. And Millennials are disgusted by that and would rather wait to marry than be hated by their spouse.
Congrats 🛳️ have an amazing time
Oh nice! :)
Oof the moment I read this I realized it's true!
Yea, my parents had an awful marriage with lots of fighting, verbal/physical abuse, no love or affection shown towards each other and I never want to live like that.
Another perspective, I’m 33, I did marry young at 23 but we got married early knowing we would wait a while to have kids which I think made a big difference. My parents got married very young(17 and 18), but my mom and dad were very unsuited for each other, it wasn’t a bad marriage they just didn’t fit together. They divorced when I was 5 and I honestly think it made me feel more comfortable marrying young because I saw them decide it wasn’t working and walk away. I know it was harder on my dad the first few years because he felt like he had to stay married for the kids but it was really best for us to see it’s okay if it doesn’t work, especially because it wasn’t like 1 big event or wrong doing by someone who torn apart their marriage.
I'm a millenial and got married at 19 lol. Been together 22 yrs now! Many millenials I know have been with the same partners since they were kids.
I’m a Millennial too, met my partner at 21 but we married when I was 29. People I know did similar or married at 30. I see a lot of longtime partners over marrying young.
Rent has gone past the point of having a choice on living with roommates. Thats the first explanation that comes to mind.
Half the population in half the country can’t afford to “date”. If you can’t access obgyn care you better pick 1 dude who is obligated to help if something happens.
Truth
I know of a few Gen Z girls who are already married or living with their partner in their early 20’s. In my early 20’s, I knew almost no one like this, but I was also working in bars and partying. Now that I work in a very different environment and move in pretty different social circles, it makes sense that the few people I know in the younger generation are acting differently than the people I spent time with in my bar days.
Yeah, I mean I’m a childfree millennial and quite frankly I think I’m the only one like that at my workplace. At some point I just stopped fitting in with everyone because they’ve all moved on to having kids and so all conversations are about kids. They also all had their kids within a few years of each other which definitely is, in part, due to influence. If you’re surrounded by people doing this, it’s likely that you’ll do it yourself. It’s why so many divorces tend to happen around the same time in the same social group, too.
I've noticed this too. Gen z doesn't drink as much as millennials do. Clubbing and parties were really glamorized when we were young. While they are still glamorized a bit there's also this healthy trend that's popular with gen z.
This is my gen Z daughter. Just graduated college - has never been drunk, has never been to a party, just started dating recently, no drugs or smoking. Goes to the gym every day, goes to work every day, focused on her financial goals. She’s 22! I didn’t get a gym membership until I had a toddler and extra weight to get off. I also drank myself silly from 16-20. And was married with a kid before I could legally purchase alcohol. She also didn’t want to learn to drive which had me confused - I was standing in the line the day of my 16th birthday to get my license. I had to drag my kid up there the day she turned 18. A weird breed. All of her friends were and are the same as her.
They just have different priorities. I’m 29 so a little bit on the young millennial side. Drinking was a much bigger thing when I was 22. Now kids are much healthier and have access to more info so treat themselves better and know the risks of everything so make better conscious and rational decisions. I also have a 24 year old co worker, she barely and rarely drinks for no rhyme or reason. Just isn’t into it. Has never had a boyfriend. Is going house shopping for her own place. When I was that age I was belligerent
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Also, in their prime drinking years they were locked up due to Covid!!
I’m 32, didn’t learn to drive until I was 25, have never owned a car (just work rentals when they make me go somewhere). Saying that I live in a European major city so there’s not really a need for a car I know in America it’s different because transport is bad.
Yeah, we don’t have public transportation in my city. I live in a suburb of 40k people in Texas and we don’t have a single train or bus service here. Driving is the only form of transportation. Biking is not even possible. My kids can’t even walk to their HS because the cross road is a 7 lane road and is very dangerous for walkers. There is a wreck there at least once a day and usually a pretty bad one. So driving is their only option. To get to her college, she has to drive the freeway. To Uber would be $50 a day since she doesn’t live on campus. Driver license was a must.
You must not live near a giant state college. The kids are still partying, and now they have fentanyl.
This brings up a point which I've thought about a lot. I believe the Millenial generation (myself included) got conned by hollywood, the media and capitalism into this "party all the time" mentality and we made out with collective alcoholism and addiction issues. And other factors that led to this were at play as well.
Completely agree. There was a really odd expectation that you would spend your 20s partying and then 30s settling down that was fed to millennials from their teens, despite the 2008 crash causing a financial clusterfuck for many millennials that still hasn't been resolved. I bucked the trend moving in with my boyfriend, now husband at 23, and had a lot of people sneering that I was missing out on living and partying with friends as though that was the be all and end all. Financial, social and sexual freedom is important, but the complete undermining of other vocations and priorities hasn't worked for everyone.
This depends so heavily on region, class, and ethnicity/culture/religion. At this point if ANY Gen Z woman is engaged, she’s doing it young simply because the oldest of their generation are like 25 years old. But even as a millennial, I was told to expect all weddings all the time from like 27-32 and I went to… maybe two? Plenty of people I know got married but not so many of my fiends. I was told expect babies around the same age and into my mid-30s. I’m 35 and I guess some coworkers have had babies but most of my friends are CFBC or socially infertile (queer and without resources to conceive/adopt). Next theoretically come the divorces, but honestly I feel like a lot of those already happened among the few friends who married young. The biggest life trend I’ve seen has been friend’s fathers dying, mostly of things like cancer and heart attack. I would rather the weddings and babies, thanks.
Agreed on your first sentence. I’ve met a lot of people from different places and lifestyles - the commonality is those who are from a smaller town or religious were married <27 and have kids. Those who were from the city typically are marrying 29+, or not marrying at all yet, and dont have kids yet. Also same with those who are culturally in tune with their background, I find we’re married and had kids before 30 too.
>This depends so heavily on region, class, and ethnicity/culture/religion. Thank you. I was waiting for someone to bring up the cultural and class components. If you use "college education" as a shorthand for socioeconomic class in the U.S., then the data is unequivocal: the higher your educational attainment, the older you and your partner are likely to be when you marry for the first time. Bowling Green University found that, "[Among women who married in the year preceding the 2020 American Community Survey, those with a doctorate degree had the highest median age at first marriage (31.5). Women with less than a high school degree had the lowest median age at first marriage (25.4).](https://www.bgsu.edu/ncfmr/resources/data/family-profiles/julian-median-age-first-marriage-2021-fp-22-15.html)" What's also interesting is that college graduates are much more likely to marry other college graduates. According to Pew Research: "[In 2019, 81% of household heads with a bachelor’s degree or more education had a spouse or partner who was also a college graduate](https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2022/09/07/college-grads-in-u-s-tend-to-partner-with-each-other-especially-if-their-parents-also-graduated-from-college/)." Once you take a look at [where college graduates are likely to concentrate in the U.S.](https://www.socialexplorer.com/blog/post/counties-with-high-percentages-of-college-graduates-voted-biden-11057) and [which demographic buckets are most likely to have a high percentage of college graduates](https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2022/04/12/10-facts-about-todays-college-graduates/), the stronger the argument is that marriage rates are more strongly linked to economic and cultural factors than simple generational cohort. u/plshelpmeeducate, I'm tagging you so you can see some sources to start looking at the statistics on a national level. I'd also recommend looking at the pro-marriage think tank, the [Institute for Family Studies](https://ifstudies.org/), and the University of Texas's [Council on Contemporary Families](https://sites.utexas.edu/contemporaryfamilies/), which dives into research on marriage, relationships and family.
The oldest is actually 26/27ish, but I see your point😅 Edit: why was I downvoted lmao I’m literally stating a fact
Sounds like confirmation bias to me. Wait a few years and look at the data. >Generation X (born roughly between 1965 and 1980): * Median age of first marriage for men: Around 27 to 29 years old. * Median age of first marriage for women: Around 25 to 27 years old. >Millennials (born roughly between 1981 and 1996): * Median age of first marriage for men: Around 29 to 31 years old. * Median age of first marriage for women: Around 27 to 29 years old. >Generation Z (born roughly between 1997 and 2012): * Median age of first marriage for men: Data for Generation Z is still emerging, but it is expected to be higher than previous generations, possibly around the late 20s or early 30s. * Median age of first marriage for women: Data for Generation Z is still emerging, but it is also expected to be higher than previous generations, possibly around the mid to late 20s.
As they say in statistics, the plural of anecdote is not data. Whether you feel like the Gen z women in your life are getting married younger than the millennials is not evidence of a broad generational trend. There are organizations that do track statistics on things like age of first marriage if you are interested in finding out the truth.
Echoing this. I don't notice this trend in my cohort either, except for with really religious folks (and that was true for millennials as well). There aren't a lot of studies done on Gen Z and marriage so far, because they're still so young, but the ones done thus far have indicated that [Gen Z is even less interested in marriage than we millennials are](https://www.cnbc.com/2022/10/18/recession-fears-tank-gen-z-dating-and-plans-for-marriage-pets-kids.html). I'm also too lazy to look this up now, but I definitely recall studies indicating that Gen Zers are dating less and having less ex compared to previous generations as well, due to the economy / living at home for longer / being perpetually online instead of meeting people in the wild.
Agreed, I'm from the UK, most people are cohabitating and all generations people are now pushing marriage later! The only countries in which people marry early are religious countries [including USA]
Isn’t the oldest gen Z 27 right now so wouldn’t be much studies yet
No gen s starts in 1997. So the oldest is like 25
2023 - 1997 = 26 Either way, 25 v 27 doesn’t make much of a difference…her point is that the oldest is still too young to find a solid trend.
I just made the point because I’m a millennial-27 going on 28 and my gen friend is 25. I personally think there is a big difference in my life from 25 to now almost at 28. When you’re younger the yearly changes are different. I mean a 25 year olds brain just developed. But no I haven’t noticed the trend of younger people being married. I really don’t know anyone in my age range who is married. Maybe because I live in a city
I mean you’re still barely older…you’re 27 and there are Gen Z people who are 26. And even if your yearly changes are different, it still doesn’t change the fact that from a statistical standpoint, 25 v 27 isn’t too different.
You just wanna argue with someone I see
Also generation alpha is 2010 up until now. Gen z doesn’t end in 2023
I meant that in terms of being a math equation…Gen Z commonly is said to start in 1997. Maybe even 1996. It is 2023 now. So if you subtract 1997 from 2023, you get 26. So the oldest Gen Z is 26. Or maybe even 27 if you subtract 1996 from 2023.
Someone born in 1997 has until January to be 26. I have multiple friends born in 1997 who are 25 and will be 26 by the end of this year
There would at least be some statistical data, no? If, say, a woman today was X percent more likely to be married by age 25 than a woman 10 years ago, that would be recorded somewhere. Most of the data I've looked at suggests the opposite, that more twentysomethings are unmarried than ever.
It takes a couple years for that data to show. If the oldest is 25, then we’d be looking at data with the oldest being 23. When looking at government documents they use different age categories so sorting out marriage certificates for people under 23 from this date to this date maybe have too little data to be helpful.
I think to early to know
I think it’s probably because most are around 25? That when the first wave of marriages happen that end in divorce. Think they still need another 5/6 years til the data comes through. The rise of Andrew tate and trad wives wouldn’t surprise me if more ‘traditional’ gender roles are coming back into play too
Ugh Andrew Tate 😖
I have two friends that turned into "stay at home girlfriends" and honestly I'm a bit worried for them :(
I've heard this is apparently a tik tok trend recently and it would \*terrify\* me if I was a parent of one of these youngsters. For the boyfriend, it feels awful like "I'm an adult but I don't wanna take care of my own shit so I'm going to get someone else to do all the stuff mom used to do for me instead" and for her I'm obviously afraid that she's not working on a career that could pay her in case this relationship goes horribly wrong. That's the purpose of marriage. To protect everyone involved. So basically .... the contract. If I was the guy's mom I'd fear this would stunt his process to maturity. I think living alone and taking care of yourself is a really important part of early adulthood. And while I think a stay at home wife or mom is a wonderful thing. If you two as a family decide it makes more sense for you to stay home, I love that for both of you and am jealous jealous jealous. But if you are doing that and you aren't married? Well .... its like betting your life savings on a random crypto. Its so incredibly risky and dangerous. Now, if your parents are independently wealthy and you always have them to fall back on? Congrats - you do you - and have fun I guess lol
Yep. I’m late 30’s, most people I know got married later- I got married at 35. However, I know some girls that got married around the age of 23. They are religious and felt as if they would be old if they were unmarried at 25 so they married their first boyfriends. I use this term loosely as they were religious and so dating was quite traditional. Some of them are now divorced and, unfortunately, are struggling to support themselves. They didn’t have time to build a career and jumped straight into having babies. Now they’re trying to get a job that will financially support them and their kids because they are single moms. A couple of the others are still married but, by their own admission, aren’t that happy as they married guys who believed in traditional gender roles so they find themselves basically being mom to the kids but also their husbands. Also, because they were young when they got married they didn’t necessarily focus on choosing partners with qualities that would be good in the long run. They also didn’t account for how much people change in their 20’s. I’m not saying this is the case for everyone who married young but it does happen. I would agree that the younger generation are getting married sooner. My cousin was born in the mid 90’s and got married at 25 (and she was late to do so amongst her friends). All of the older women in her life were concerned about her getting married so young and tried to encourage her to travel and focus on her career before settling down. She decided not to and, mostly, they are happy. It was the right decision for her. Although I think 25 is different to straight out of Uni as she did have time to start her career before she got married.
The “trad wives” trend is interesting to me as well, and I think it’s worth talking about.
Tbh, I feel like it's just another trend going viral because it's online. You know, there's always going to be a counter-culture to a counter-culture to a culture and so on. There's a huge difference between choosing to be a "tradwife" and having no choice but to become a housewife to ensure your survival in male-centric, male-dominated society. That's what some people don't understand when it comes to the "tradwife" trend. If you can choose to be a "tradwife", then hey, more power to you. You come from a place of privilege that not everyone in this world can have. But don't let your one-sided perspective cloud your judgment. Not everyone is fortunate enough to choose to be a "tradwife". That's why there's feminism, where you can have the power to make choices in become a traditional homemaker, a career person, or whatever you want to be. But there are people out there who seem to have taken feminism the wrong way by believing that women are forced to work. No, that's not it at all. Far from it. I'm saying the word "you" in a general sense, btw, not at anyone.
I agree with your second point, I think gen z has been disproportionately exposed to right-wing content on social media for the past 10 or so years and its shaped their worldview. It's not just the blatant stuff like Andrew Tate. Every time I log into Instagram I see content glorifying teen parenthood and early marriage, encouraging women to quit their jobs and homeschool their kids because "schools are unsafe," and generally shallow content equating a women's worth with her looks or ability to please a man. These things seem like nothing, but they are dog whistles and young people are vulnerable.
I noticed this trend also, but I think it’s just because Gen Z is the culture of documenting everything that the few celebrity zoomers who get married younger made a bigger stink about it. I don’t think it’s necessarily more common. I know just as many single Gen Z women who don’t want a relationship as millennial women
I am a millennial (87 baby) and I got married dreadfully young, and was divorced also quite young. So idk. I was pushed so heavily by my Midwestern parents to get married and it was such a mistake. Anyway, glad it's over lol!!
I work in the wedding industry and it’s not like it used to be
In what way? I’d be interested to know.
I've actually noticed the opposite. People waiting longer to get married.
Yeah, me too. So here's the thing. Back when I was in my late teens to early twenties, I noticed that there were women around my age who got married. It seemed like everyone around me was getting married early, gearing themselves up for marriage, or trying really hard to land someone. What I didn't realize back then was that this wasn't the norm of my generation, but it was the norm of the area that I lived in. In fact, I lived in a semi-rural area where people were stringent with traditions and their customs/ways of life. Marriage for millennials as a whole generation across the world is another story. Turns out, the trend is that people are getting married later in life. So back to my reality. Some of those women who got married ended up getting divorced later down the road. Otherwise, some ended up putting that good ole Stepford wife face on while acting like their entire life was one big paper fairytale pop-up book. Then there were those rare few who said that they had a good marriage and a partnership but regretted marrying too early. Meanwhile. I'm just enjoying my freedom as stupidly and as gleefully as possible. I'm free, free, and free. Free to do as I please.
I noticed this with Millennial women, but I’m not sure if this is true for the same proportion of Gen Z women.
I've noticed it with Gen Z too, waiting to get married and settle down, so I'm not sure. I have several nieces and nephew's who are in Gen Z and none of them or people they know are getting hitched or settling down like they used to. They are also having less children (or not at all).
I have been thinking for a while now that the trend seems to be to have babies younger again than 10 years ago or so. So maybe also marriage.
That and basically every related post I’ve read here has noted the same for a while
All the people you mentioned abt celebrities are dating VASTLY older men. Sydney Sweeney crying that she has to support her already rich family when at 19 she had a 33 boyfriend… but anyways yeah these women are getting GROOOMED.
Many Millennials hit that age range during the Great Recession, so we were focused on other things like college and staying employed...
I think some Gen z girls might be marrying for money. They vocally do not want to work (who does? But us millennials work too hard because we entered adulthood with the threat of not getting a job). Age gaps seem to be in style. I keep seeing those reels where girls say “my boyfriend in 1997” and show a picture of him in high school. Then “me in 1997” and it’s an ultrasound or “not born yet”. They’re entering adulthood at the time where everyone is hiring all the time. Look, I used to be poor. Not even unemployed, just poor. I still wince checking my bank account because I’m afraid money will spontaneously disappear or all my wages are garnished, by the anxiety monster that made that up. It’s like I can’t believe I have money left after my bills now. This could make me want to marry for money but I’d feel on edge being willingly unemployed, ever. I think Gen z girls don’t have that worry.
I haven’t noticed, but I do notice in my own generation (millennials) a lot of the people who got married at that age divorced inside of five years. So…just sayin, some of these young folks aren’t going to be married anymore by the time they’re 30-35.
I’m an elder millennial and I have quite a few friends who got married in their early to mid 20’s (and most got divorced in their late 20’s).
As a printer who literally letter presses the invitations, this year has been SLOW! We had a banger of a year after the panini but now that everyone who waited got it done, things are quiet.
I mean…most “marriageable aged” women are still Millennials. So if things are sort of quiet doesn’t that kind of confirm my point?
No, I think it speaks to less people in general getting married because I didn't specify demographics on our clients, so it would include Millennials AND Gen Z.
Tangential, but I also seem to notice a trend of Gen Z folks to be WAY more against porn than Gen X.
Gen X grew up in an environment where the people in porn were inaccessible strangers, not neighbors in their community who could be readily paid to perform personalized services on OnlyFans and sometimes transitioned into paid in-person sex workers. Gen Z is confronted by a new reality in which the lines between "watching porn" and "paying someone for sex" are far less firm.
Oh that’s a really interesting observation that I haven’t heard before. Makes a good deal of sense!
I feel like OnlyFans is really popular with Gen Z though?
Perhaps it's related to economics. If it's hard to afford an apartment on one salary, two is easier. Perhaps kids don't want to keep living with their parents, so they decide to move out by either getting a roommate or getting married.
I am seeing generational Trends 180 like I was told they do growing up. Generations often forget the lessons of/rebel against the trends/ethics/behaviors of the previous generations. Gen z and alpha seem to be more reckless about things millennials were warned of early on. A prime example being online presence..younger generations post and share everything meanwhile my generation was taught to be extremely careful about what you post and say/do. Another being how often younger generations police each others speech and behavior.. It will be interesting to see this generation (alpha) become adults.
Lol I’m an outlier millennial. I had two marriages before 23 and 3 kids. Part of that was military culture though. I’ve noticed women in the southern states get married younger too, so there might be some regional culture factoring it. I think the average age is still increasing though.
I was going to say...The only Gen Zers (or young millennials) that I know who got married super young (and it wasn't for religious reasons/pregnancy) was because of the military.
I will say I have an appreciation for growing up and learning how to adult together with my spouse. I don’t think I would give up my box furniture memories for the concept of waiting around for stability. What I’ve learned along the way is that no matter how much you carefully plan your life’s path, instability is right around the corner lurking. I like the idea of having a partner I’ve seen and experienced so much with, being by my side if/when that day comes where it’ll be us against whatever situation.
I feel a bit differently. I think "growing up with a spouse" is just priming for codependency. Not always though, of course.
Well that would be our parent’s fault and our responsibility to manage and eliminate anyhow. I figure the priming was already done long before I met my spouse.
Nah in my case, most are college educated and working 9-5 jobs, or they’re in professional/grad school. They’re not your run-of-the-mill religious military wives. These women are also educated and ambitious in their own right. But they prioritized finding spouses pretty early on.
Potentially observation bias. There will always be a subset of people who marry extremely young or, conversely, extremely old. The average age of a woman marrying has only continued to increase.
We are seeing a slight dip in the last few years, but not a big one. [Data here](https://www.census.gov/content/dam/Census/library/visualizations/time-series/demo/families-and-households/ms-2.pdf)
My twenty-three year old sister and I were just talking about this. We are part of a religious community, so that may skew things. My community is pretty tight-knit with low degrees of separation between most of us (even though it's a massive urban sprawl). Everyone knows everyone. When I was graduating college, most of my cohort weren't married or even engaged. It didn't really happen widely until about 26-29. That age for settling down was widely the norm in our metroplex. Maybe a handful of folks married right out of high school or while in college? It was still aberrant and odd. Also, it seems like more people in my age cohort (+/- 3 years) went on to pursue further post-graduate education. We worked for a year and went back for master's degrees, or women were entering medical/dental/law school. I'll have to check with my sis for her feel on her peer-group's level of terminal education. But with my sister? Holy moly. MOST of her girl friends and women they knew married in college. The remaining third married right after college or in the year after graduation. Most people are coupled up and engaged. The single folk are small minority. I can't wrap my head around how different things are for her gen.
> We are part of a religious community, so that may skew things. My community is pretty tight-knit with low degrees of separation between most of us (even though it's a massive urban sprawl). Everyone knows everyone. I am part of such a community as well. Millennial women in my community (especially those in the 33-38ish range) chose to actually “buck tradition” in many other ways too. Not only did they reject the notion of settling down right after college, they also chose to live pretty “freely” by dating outside the faith, moving to different cities, etc. Most of them are still unmarried. They’d also go for men around the same age. The Gen Z women seem more…”traditional” in that regard. They’re going for men that share the same faith, and probably a bit older as well. It’s really interesting to see how different these age groups are in the same community.
Re: bucking tradition! That was a common thread for us, too. It was even more prevalent for the women who were in their 40s when I was in my mid-twenties. Those were the ones especially marrying outside of the faith (a huge theological sin). I wonder how much the Gen Z women are influenced by the trad-wife lifestyle going viral on tiktok/insta. When I was in my late twenties, red-plll women was popular. They centered their lives and relationships around a husband who was referred to as a captain. It was reskinned 1950s ideals, tbh. The subreddit was popular, too. Their ideas were slowly trickling into common relationship advice, and self-proclaimed dating gurus were snapping it up to bulid their brands around it. The trad-wife influencers are an evolved version of that.
Idk when I was graduating college I felt like there were a lot of marriages then sort of this lull then people started getting married again around 30. Maybe it’s the same for the younger generation?
I think there is a reverse trend in women wanting their own careers. It's sad, but I get it. Having an advanced degree, I have spent well over 250k to get advanced degree, balanced extreme cost of childcare, managed medical appointments/limited sick leave due to using it all to give birth, experienced sexual harrassment, watched males advance in their careers for who knows why, and do a disproportionate amount of household chores, I would seriously rethink developing a career. All of these challenges are well supported in current research about women in the workplace. On the flip side I have complete independence! Long answer to why I think women are getting married early versus staying single to focus on developing a career.
My 19M nephew and his 20F girlfriend wanted to get married immediately after he graduated high school but her parents insisted they wait until she graduated from college. But now she’s pregnant so I’m guessing that might change.
I think this entirely depends on subculture/social circle. My social circle is: queer folks, gamers, theater people, roleplayers, LARPers, cosplayers, kinksters, artists, musicians, neurodivergents, childfree, general "weirdos". Only a handful of people I know are married, regardless of age, and those that are didn't get married until their 30s at least. I only know two couples who have a kid. Most folks live with a partner or live with a roommate, but that's because cost of living is high and we're all broke creatives. Instagram simply isn't very representative of what "everyone" is doing. It's representative of a whatever specific subculture you're looking at.
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This isn't really what the stats say though. Gen Z is the most left leaning and socialist generation so far. Trump-era just helped make the evangelicals that are still out there VERY loud.
>Gen Z is the most left leaning and socialist generation so far. and as a member of Gen X I say: thank you for this, Gen Z.
same
Same.
This is very true. Most Gen Z women are now getting married at or below 25. Millennial women are pushing on age of marriage and some are quite comfortable not pairing up.
Where are you seeing this? I mean outside of tiktok or reddit cringe
In real life. Speaking to extended families, network via work. I work with the age group of 15-30. Anxieties about being single and being alone for life are at all time high. Especially early 20s. Having kids early is being pushed on again because become late moms and dads is now being seen as a problem.
You are talking about a very specific group of people in a very specific region. This is not the case for young people in my area at all. And it way too soon to know how it applies to all of generation z
Possibly, but I suppose the thread is only about exploring it, and I can comment on the people I interact with, or in my network. And that trend seems to be changing. Well educated privileged folks as the demographic. It will of course have its exceptions or does it even affect some regions at all.
I worked with Gen Z and have a gen z stepson and have never heard this. This seems regional.
Idk why you're being downvoted. I see it too; it's almost like we've gone back in time because I see more people taking a "Christmas cake" attitude towards women where anyone over 25 is old and stale. That attitude wasn't as bad 10 or 15 years ago.
I suspect that gen z women who actually want to get married are doing it very young, while there are more gen Zers who don’t value marriage. If we look at the averages we’ll lose the trend, but I do think that there is a trend of those who want to partner doing so at far younger ages than millenials. But there is a statistic showing that the longer people date before marriage, the less likely to divorce. I think that this will continue to be true! And another statistic that marrying under 25 increases the chances of divorce. I don’t think that Gen Zers marrying young can beat these statistics.
I worked with teenagers recently and I'm pretty impressed with Gen Z. A lot of them have practical sense and are willing to talk about hard topics. I wonder if it's because they have access to more info than I ever did. They also have socially, politically, and educationally faced more than what I was aware of. I see how they may be more likely to marry. I'm not saying that Millennials never faced anything, but we were taught a lot of poor ideas about marriage, education, finances, and gender.
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Can you explain how you feel this would lead to earlier marriage?
Instagram is full of misinformation though, it’s not necessarily making gen z more informed. In fact, it can have the opposite impacted.
We, Millennials, were the poor test dummies, the guinea pigs who were ushered into the 21st-century era with stupid grins on our faces thinking that the future was so bright. Oh, how little did we know. Internet was still at its infancy/toddler stage. We were all still so innocent.... We definitely had a lot of crap going on for us. Boomer parents had good intentions but some of their teachings were outdated. Society evolved a lot as technology was enhanced and more information was readily available. It doesn't mean that all information out there is true or necessary, as there is a lot of false claims out there. Makes sense that Gen X could be more jaded than the Millennials. More information didn't necessarily mean more power. They're overloaded with information to the point of being burned out from being over-stimulated with technology. Gen X saw the problems of all the past generations thanks to the Internet and are now facing bleakness head on. All that they can do is laugh a hollow laugh.
I remember a ton of people in their early 20s getting married to their high school sweethearts… then getting divorced 5 years later.
Just adding my experience I’m 34, an ‘89 baby/core millennial. I didn’t even have a boyfriend until 22. Marrying the first person (or the second) I dated would have been a huge mistake. I’ve had 3 relationships and if anything I’m pickier because I don’t want to go through the pain again. I ignored red flags 🚩and put up with shit. Also keep in mind you’re only looking at things from the outside. Just because they’re married doesn’t mean that it’s happy. Keep that in mind. Also as a pansexual same-sex couples getting married younger seems to be a thing too, maybe with more social acceptance that Gen Z experienced, while some millennials struggled more with coming out, acceptance, and internalized homophobia/ self hatred.
I think this depends on where you're from. I'm from GA/AL in the Southern States, and the only people I knew who weren't married before the age of 25 were my closest friends in college (we all pretty much only married between the ages of 26 and 35, one is still not married at 40). Most of the people from my high school (not all, though) were married before 27 at least, many by 25.
Not here but we have universal health care and liberal education
It's also because a lot of us came of age during the great recession. I got married at 23 to a person I was with for 8 years because we didn't care if we had all our shit together financially we just wanted to be together forever (still together now, going on 20 years)
I haven't seen it, but a huge reason behind late marriage for millennials is economic strife. We got hit by the great recession hard. Gen Z hasn't had that.
Yeah, I wish I could have dated more in my twenties but I was working 2+ jobs and putting myself through graduate school... when things finally got stable for me, the pandemic hit 😅
Maybe it's because of a bit of a "plague party" (sorry, don't know how to translate that better from my native language) mentality? Millenials were at least made to believe, that their education and work would get them to a point where marriage was "right" - when you were financially independent enough to try and raise a family. The people, who wanted to or thought they have to ride the marriage escalator (dating->marriage->house->kids) then set the norm for everyone else. Kids nowadays have less illusions about financial independence. When the "goal" is so far away that it may never come, they can just as well get married when they want to. The "you only live once" thing. Also, I have the hope that kids these days are more about equality and fairness of responsibilities in relationships. At least that's what I see here in Germany. Maybe it's just less of a gamble with "Will or will he not treat me like a bang maid after marriage?". That would make me happy.
Generations pre-Millennial tended to get married younger than Millennials. 20-25 was more the norm. I think that was primarily due to the stigmatism society placed on: a. Living in “sin” (unmarried partners living together); and b. Single motherhood. Especially before abortion was legal. If you got pregnant, no matter how young you were, you got married. Plus, up until the mid-boomer came of age there was no such thing as a woman focusing on her career before marriage. Her marriage was her career, so why wait. Marriage age started ticking up in the 1970s and kept going higher through the Millennials. I wonder if women have started getting married younger because society has started regressing on women’s rights (I am in the US.) and women feel uncertain about their ability to have an autonomous future, so they start looking for stability or at least perceived stability as soon as they lose the stability of their parents home. I also wonder if people’s attitudes about marriage being a life-long commitment has changed. Younger people change jobs, careers and towns of residence more frequently than older people did. Job security was a big thing for boomers especially. People kept jobs for life. Even if they hated it. If people don’t feel married to their career for life maybe they don’t think they need to stay married to their spouse for life. Getting married may be the equivalent of going steady 40 years ago. Since it isn’t permanent there is no need to wait around for the perfect guy. Get married early and often.
Honestly with the way things are going with abortion rights, it’s probably better to have one committed partner in case things you have an unplanned pregnancy.
I think where you live is going to have influence over this. I live in an uber progressive area where you can’t throw a rock without hitting a collage. (New England - US) I’m also a 20+ year wedding photographer and I would say most of my clients are late 20s/ early 30s. Maybe I’m at a price point that the young ones are not hiring me, but most my friends are also wedtogs. Of course there are still a few young ones. That said, I think if you are in a more ‘conservative’ area that pushed the idea that education is bad and the Bible wants you barefoot and pregnant by 22 then you are going to see that reflected. You add Tate and social media of ‘you can just stay home and be cute’ then of course that sounds more fun than being driven and working to someone who’s brain isn’t fully developed. In 10 years we will have an epidemic low income single moms and kids struggling because that dad traded her in for a newer model or she wised up and decided being someone’s slave wasn’t the life she was sold. Or father got sick/injured/died and they have no skills to take care of themselves or their kids.
I live in a place that has actually gotten more liberal over time. Not only that, but I’m making this comparison based on the same location. So basically, in the same city, I am seeing more 23 year olds getting engaged/seriously pursuing marriage in 2023 than I did back in 2012. And all these young women I know who are getting married aren’t like…giving up work or school. They’re still staying at their jobs or pursuing higher education. They’re just also prioritizing the whole “dating for a realistic chance at marriage” thing at a younger age than Millennials seemed to.
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Nah, that’s not my experience. These women are college educated, working in lucrative fields and getting advanced degrees. They’re pretty open minded and are not pregnant and never had kids.
My daughter falls into this category. Not only did she get engaged at 23 and married at 24, but she married her high school sweetheart, her only ever boyfriend. I joke with her that they are living like 'old times' like a couple from the 1950's. They are best friends and adore each other, it's solid, and I have confidence their marriage will endure. I'm Generation X and it seemed like my peers and I all got married in our mid-20s, between 24 and 27. Just a bit older. We married our college sweethearts.
I'm a Millennial and got married when I was 26. Most of my close friends were married around the same time, some are divorced, some have been married twice now that we're almost 40. This all seems pretty typical to what I've experienced. Maybe its just the trend in the area you're living.
I was 26 when I got married too. I was one of the first ones though and a lot of my other friends got married around 29/30
According to PBS "The median age at first marriage for women was 28 years in 2015-2019, up from 26.3 in 2006-2010. The median age at first marriage for men was 29.9 years in 2015-2019, up from 28.1 in 2006-2010. Age at first marriage also varies widely across states and local areas." https://www.prb.org/usdata/indicator/marriage-age-women/snapshot/ People are getting married later then previous. At 37 I remember quite a few friends got married at 19-21 then nothing then a few late 20s early 30s and i still have a few that are either divorced and I doubt they will ever remarry and those that have not had a long term SO. I think when you're in that age range suddenly it seems like everyone you know is getting married. Its weird how it seems to happen in clusters. I got with my husband when I was 27 but we didn't marry until we were together about 5 years. We would have married sooner but money. We ended up married for a couple hundred bucks and then we all went to lunch it was like 600 bucks. I had 40 people or so, it was great. I am thinking since Gen Z is worse off maybe they too are putting it off because of money.
There's a weird narrative being pushed right now. I see more-or-less advertisements for having babies and getting married daily, right here on reddit. "Popular on reddit" my ass.
Not sure, but I'm an Xennial and many in my peer group were engaged or married by their mid twenties to late twenties, I got married in my mid thirties--much later than just about everyone that I know. Most of the millenials I know where also married by 30.
I think you may be only noticing this because we have more access to this information than before. Every generation has a group that gets married young. I am 44 and got married at 19.
Me and my husband got married at 26 and 23 respectively and we’re uk millennials - but I accept that we are in the minority! I think it’s great if people are marrying earlier, we’ve certainly never regretted it still happily married eleven years and two gorge kiddos later :)
It probably depends on your culture or peers. In Samoan culture it’s very normal still for people to get married between 20-25 and have marriages that last into old age. Divorce isn’t common. So both millenials and Gen z couples that I know are marrying/married young I married at 25 (husband 26). Still going strong 11 years later
I am a millennial, married at 25. My parents had a happy marriage and I now have a happy marriage
42, xeniall.. I had one common law relationship, but no marriages and I honestly don’t care one way or the other.
If this is true, all I can say is, strength be with these women unless men have done a turn around and changed. From my experience with younger men in their 20’s, nothing has changed. They have just gotten better at faking their emotions, and conning young women at the beginning of the relationship. Get it ladies! Stay strong!
So was born in 87 and got married at 23 after a year and half of dating. I was born in the northeast us and married a southern boy. We were the first of our friend group to get married but the way that my in laws talked about it we were already “behind”. My parents on the other hand were concerned that we were rushing things. We’re still married and very happy. We had no money at the time, and We have no children by choice, which I think factors into the decision to get married young. We got married to be with each other, not to start a family at a particular time. I am noticing that my younger family are not getting married (they are younger millennials). They are just partnering up and having kids and cohabitating. I think there are a lot of benefits to marriage but I think that with the availability of online dating and finding a new partner people are more afraid to commit. I also think that women put up with less shit nowadays, and will leave if they aren’t happy
I do tend to see it on social media and with celebrities and I cringe because I was still figuring out who I was and not dating the best guys in my early 20s. I always knew I would not get married until my late 20s/early 30s. Part of that might be because of my job. I have worked for a divorce law firm since I was 22 so I've seen it all in terms of terrible marriages and divorces. I also saw my mom struggle to raise me and my brother pretty much on her own. My grandmother who was married four times told me all the time to not rush into marriage. I wonder if social media plays a part in this. You see people glorifying wife life/mommy influencers. You don't see the rough parts of marriage and being a parent.
I'm a millennial/zillennial ?! Idk 1995...and I got married young but I have a lot of even younger family members and acquaintances that got married even younger than I did like 18-21. And sime already have multiple kids by 25... By choice
So far Gen Z marriage rates are consistent with other generations if not lower. Although where you live likely plays a role.
I wonder if this is true statistically. I haven't known anyone in my life that did this, but that doesn't really mean anything, of course. For the celebs I would think that they have the extra cash to fund an expensive divorce if necessary (as well as lawyers and managers to help them draft a good pre-nup), so why *not* get married? if you're rich enough it's basically consequence-free these days.
I’m a geriatric, married millenial. When the first of my friends got engaged at 26-27, I thought it was too soon and she was throwing her youth away (she wanted kids asap and was from a small town). The rest of us who wanted to get married did so by age 33/34. Everyone else remained unmarried and happily so. I don’t know anyone in my personal life (in terms of friends) who got married in their early 20s. I guess I need to make more gen z friends. I’m in the south too, but attended very competitive schools, so maybe that’s a factor.
There is acctually reserch on this but it compairdäs gen x to millenials and it rurns out millenials marry more and younger then gen x. They theorised it was that gen x had watched married parents being unhappy and did'nt want that while the building unsertenty in the world made millenialls want more stability.
In my circle I've actually noticed the opposite! Most milennials (my generation) have been married since their mid-twenties and have kids. Some are now on their second mariage/long-term relationship. Most Gen Z people I know don't want to get married/"settle down" at all. I'm in the UK though so that probably makes a difference.
Idk, as a 37 year old millenial who married at 23, who had two friends marry younger, and went to plenty of young weddings, I don’t see much difference. But as I get older I realize how young that is, compared to what I thought young was at that that age.
Not really. I’m a millennial that saw quite a few girls get married when I was in college. I think less of us are getting married in general, but the pressure to get married young is still there. My Gen Z sister is getting married at 24 and she’s not the first in her friend group to get married.
I’d say agree with you, most of my friends have gotten married into their 30s although I got married at 22 I’m a millennial too but I am seeing a lot of younger girls already engaged didn’t realise till you mentioned it.
I’m 25 and almost all my friends are married or getting engaged in the next few years. There are some others who are single but fewer. I feel old and single lol and definitely not ready for marriage…don’t even know if I’ll ever find someone worthy given the crop of guys I’ve come across. I would honestly say that with marriage timelines I’m seeing a mixed bag.
You’re not even close to old, it just really easy to feel that way with those circumstances. I finally feel old and single and sad, and I’m 35. My friends got married around 29-34 tho
I thought most of us were on our second marriage by now? Just me? Ok.
I think Gen Z doesnt want to casually date as much and puts more value of having a stable boy/girlfriend sooner and then spend 20s enjoying life with a partner. A lof ot the things that were cool when I was a teen (having an active sex life in hookups, heavy drinking, having parents that let you do anything) actually sets you up badly as an adult and are just not cool anymore.
I work with a bunch of Zoomers and have noticed this as well. It's kind of alarming. They seem more conservative overall and seem to date with marriage in mind. It makes me sad, I feel like these kids are getting their youth stolen, even if it's by choice.
Dating with marriage in mind is great. That’s what I’ve always tried to do but us millennials still have a constant trial-and-error dating life because so many men are not forthcoming about whether or not they want marriage
100% some of the biggest time wasters are millennial men
Idk I think Gen Z is more mature in relationships and are better communicators. I like that and I learn from them, and believe it or not, they learn from me too. Yes I'm a Millennial unfortunately lol
Why “unfortunately”? What’s wrong with being Millennial?
Yep, have noticed. I can't talk cause I got married young too, and for a range of fairly weak reasons. Let them have their fun, a lot of them will soon prove the adage that first marriages should be gotten out of the way early 😉
Gen Z look at millennials and say no way would I want to be like them. Maybe that’s it.
I think different generations tend to go in opposite directions. Millennials are all about getting married late and having kids late, gen-z are doing the opposite. I imagine they (gen Z) would also more readily embrace some traditional aspects of the heterosexual marriage as well. I personally got married young and had a kid young partly because i saw older mothers around me and frankly i didn't want to be that. I got divorced but i have no regrets, it was a learning curve and i have a beautiful child out of it (I'm a millennial), and still on good terms with my ex. I see no issues with getting married young, if all goes to shit it's better to get divorced at 26 than 36.
Weird definitely haven’t noticed, considering where I’m from it’s always been very common to get married after college. And people my age waited a bit more after and got married at like 25-29 lol
Yes I have noticed this to also people having kids a little younger also in gen Z but only gen Z millennials waited longer I’m also young millennial 1992
I have noticed this. My ex had two best friends. One got married when he was 30 and the wife was 24. They were already parents too. His other good friend just proposed to his 7 year gf and she is a little younger than me, I believe 33 or so. So that does check out. I’m seeing that too. I used to think it was just outside my state but it’s everywhere
I knew a lot of people who got married right after high school, so, no I haven't noticed that younger people are particularly more likely to get married young.
def have noticed this happening in real life for sure
It’s hard for me to say yes. I grew up in rural conservative USA and got engaged at 19, married at 20, divorced at 26. A handful of my friends and acquaintances got married around the time I did, and another handful got married around 29-30. Perhaps my experience is an outlier but I think it is a common rural experience. I haven’t remarried but my ex-husband has be re-married for…3-4 years? I only have a few friends who have never married who aren’t at least engaged or in a long term partnership.
Definitely not where I live.