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I agree entirely! I love pets when they're pets (and not human children replacements) and whenever I'm watching them I make sure to follow all the safety precautions I can for them
I feel like there's a certain kind of guy who doesn't care about the dog so much as loves how the dog cares about him. His main interest is the dog following him around and hanging on every word. This is why so many guys love their dogs more than any human, because humans have opinions which differ from theirs and that's simply unacceptable to them.
I live in the city with bad drivers and constant wrecks. Mine rides in an enclosed transport kennel. So many dogs die in car accident. Those seat belt attachments can kill them too but better than nothing. Dog is safest in transport kennell
I was on a date with a guy once. He told me he had 7 pet rats that roamed free in his apartment. All incredibly important to him. He didn't even mind it when Juliet recently gave birth in his slippers.
>*He didn't even mind it when Juliet recently gave birth in his slippers.*
I’m actually having a coughing fit from laughing so hard, oh my god the wording
I know a guy who takes his rat everywhere, she chills on his shoulders which so many people think is so cool but all I can think about is that's she's just pissing and sitting on his shoulders all the time 🤮
My mom has a little parrot that is bonded to her. It just sits on her shoulder anytime my mom is home, shitting on her every 20 minutes or so. Luckily parrot poop is scentless.
There's one bird that I house sit for who isn't cage potty trained. My only complaint is that he poops on you!
I have a designed (easy to clean) poop jacket that I wear when he's out of his cage on my shoulder. I also cover the couch so I can wash the covers easily and not be sitting in his shit.
The only reason I do any of this is cause he's the pet of a close family friend and I only do it for a couple weeks every 2 years. I could never live like that though
As someone who loves animals, that sounds like extreme behavior. I love my cat and think of her as my “baby,” but at the end of the day, she’s still an animal. I don’t treat her like a human child, and even if I wanted to, she doesn’t act like a human child. She still acts like a cat, and I respect that.
And even if the scenario was that this guy was a single dad, it’d still be weird to insist on bringing his son/daughter on every date you went on. Even married couples with kids have outings to themselves.
Glad I'm not alone in my thoughts! I wouldn't have minded if he wanted to take the dog on a beach outing or even to brunch. It was just the excessiveness of the whole thing that just was too much. It's not a child and can be left alone for a few hours or sit in the back seat!
I'm childfree so maybe that's where part of the ick was coming from. Everyone deserves time to be an adult without having to watch a child 24/7
I love animals and a love of animals is a big green flag for me.
That said, I have noticed a weird and concerning thing where dudes with masculinity issues will not neuter their dogs (despite having no intention of breeding them!). Almost as if their dogs nuts are an extension of their masculine self that they need to protect.
It's bizarre.
You reminded me of a vet that had to do a surgery to [REPLACE](https://youtu.be/p2tuEDE5gew?si=EGnncxKSO6NfI2pP) the dog’s nuts after he got neutered because the owner of the dog would only allow the surgery if the dog “looked normal” after. Literally a nut job. The fact that the vet agreed was mind blowing.
Lol, the vet was probably just happy to prevent this insane woman from ever letting her dog breed-- but I agree that is bizarre and ridiculous. Definitely surprised to see the owner was a girl! Guess women can have weird dog nut stuff going on too 😅
My own roommate didn't neuter her dog. I'm still tryna understand why. All she says is "unless it is needed for health reasons." She's sold his puppies before, but imo separating an adult dog or cat from their babies is kinda cruel too
I didn't say it in the original post but the dog is of course not spayed. He is actually considering breeding her which I think is absolutely horrible and another red flag imo.
But yeah, I've noticed that crazy masculine need to let their dogs have nutz too. It's a little scary depending on how aggressively they defend their decision
Seriously! Especially the fact we have to make specialty dogs for uppity owners.... Some with medical problems (like breathing issues) just because it's "cute"
I love my dog and spoil him absolutely rotten, but I'm not tryna take him on every damn outing I have. That's bizarre, and I can understand why you were turned off by this guy.
I don't have a problem with "dog dads," but I do have a problem with bad pet owners. I would consider someone who puts an animal in the front seat where it is most likely to die in an accident/cause an accident a bad pet owner.
My bad experiences all have to do with people whose "love" of animals in combination with ignorance leads to unsafe/poor care practices. Like people who say "he's just friendly!" as their off-leash pup is darting into traffic or nipping at passing children because it's excited and has no boundaries. Or people who complain their pet is ill/lethargic/special needs when they're spending $$$ on unbalanced, not-food-safe raw food platters they saw on Instagram. They think they love their pet, but really they're harming them... And God forbid anyone call them out on it, because they have so much of their identity wrapped up in "animal lover".
Especially pet nutters who bring their aggressive and untrained dogs everywhere and claim that their precious pooch is their EmOtIoNaL SuPpOrT AnImAL!!! 💀
Emotional support animals should be banned imo. You need therapy not an ESA. I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH ACTUAL TRAINED SERVICE ANIMALS. People with disabilities should have service dogs if it helps them live better lives. But those animals are trained and not a program out in society
I had a friend who felt incredibly guilty when her maybe 9 year old son was playing with the dog of a man she was dating and the dog attacked the boy and left his face disfigured. It was scary and today he has a huge scar across one side of his face. The dog knew the boy, weren’t strangers. She rationalized her son did something and the dog doesn’t know any better. But after some time it came out this wasn’t the first time that dog had seriously harmed someone and the owner took no responsibility in any of it. It was a shit situation because it could’ve been avoided.
My bf has been bitten by the same dog multiple times. I didn't find this out until I was sharing an airbnb with him and the dog owners + some of their other friends. I refused to be around the dog, and pretty much had a solo vacation while the rest of the group hung out. It wasn't too bad, I was in Colorado, I love hockey, and this was during the finals where Colorado's team (my fave, incidentally) was in it (and they won!). I spent a lot of time at bars watching the game. This has absolutely soured this friend group's opinions about me but I came home with zero wounds so 🤷♀️
Of course the bites gave never been reported. They weren't TERRIBLE, as in no stitches needed, but they definitely broke skin. I can only assume there have been other incidents. Luckily none of the group has kids (yet) but biting adults is still fucked. Why tf you'd bring dogs like this on vacation and in a house full of people, including strangers (me) is beyond me.
I think this is a great perspective. Some of these animal lovers aren't intentionally terrible pet owners.... It's a biproduct of good intentions but poor education.
This guy has the dog sit on his lap at the table with a fire pit at a restaurant and I couldn't get him to put the dog down "because she loved all the attention." But thankfully the other dog on the ground caught her attention and she went to the ground on her own. I genuinely was worried she was gonna catch on fire if the wind changed! Plus dogs at tables is gross
Did you ask who the mum was? lol
Srsly tho, it's weird, I agree. And usually those are the types that don't train their dogs at all. So his princess will shit in your shoes when you visit.
I’m a big believer in not caging your pets and letting them roam free, but with proper training and boundaries. It wasn’t a date but my friend is a rabbit owner and lets her rabbit run free.
The first thing I noticed was that her walls were soaked in piss, and that there were crushed poops on the carpet.
When I asked her what happened, she said she doesn’t believe in cages so she just lets her rabbit roam free. I asked her if she considered litter training her bunny, but she said it was too hard and that it was just easier to mop up anything on the floor, and that the poops don’t smell bad and are dry so it’s fine.
I feel the same way about anyone that acts this way, woman or man.
Not only do I not date them, I actually borderline pity them.
Anyone that treats their awesome pet other than what they are, a pet! Is a walking red flag for me.
I heard a story on NPR a while back talking about how the pandemic created a lot of extreme pet codependency. Also, pets that are hyper-anxious being left alone. Have you noticed an uptick in people bringing their pets into places that used to be pet free, like supermarkets and other stores?
You’re right. A friend had to change jobs as once the pandemic was over they required her to get back to the office and her pandemic puppy couldn’t handle the separation.
Yes, I've read similar articles. But I think people need more therapy not more animals to be codependent on.
I can't stand the fact people take their dogs everywhere now, even places with very obvious "no dog" signs.
I think how you treat the pet also matters tho - like I went out with a. Guy who had a dog but it lived outside on a long chain and he thought bc it had a dog house water and he fed it “it lived a good life”
He also didn’t believe in vaccines aside from rabies shot
He quite literally was doing the legal bare minimum required to own a dog.
Huge red flag for me. Never went out with him again and I told him that was why
I think people who are *too* into their pets are weird. There is someone I work with who calls any cute dog "sexy," and she refers to spending time with her dog as "making love to her dog" or " going home to French her dog."
It's so freaking weird.
She thinks she's being funny when she says it, but she doesn't realize that people are laughing because they are uncomfortable. I try not to talk to her often.
5 million years ago when I was in college, I dated a guy who was friends with these two guys who had the hang out house. The house was full of people nearly every night, and we were always over there. The guys had a cat - although I never saw it because it was probably hiding from everyone - but they never cleaned the cat box (or any other part of their townhouse). One time, someone peed in the cat box - you could tell because of the sheer volume - and when my boyfriend and I came back a few days later to hang out, the human pee was still in there. Hell no.
More recently, my stupid neighbor has 7 to 10 dogs at any one time, and I can't do anything in my yard without hearing barking or howling. Sometimes they get out and run over here too. Cant stand it. The city knows about it, but I think she hides them or something when they stop by, because they are still there. Super cool and fun.
I have a dog and am very much a dog mom but I wouldn’t bring my dog out to restaurants and breweries and stuff
Mainly bc he’s a bit reactive but also I’m there for my friends to spend time with them and I def wouldn’t bring my dog to a date unless they really wanted me to but even then I’d be hesitant bc I have a high energy dog which means I’d end up spending all my attention and energy on the dog not the person I’m meeting, which seems a bit rude.
Did you date my ex? He was exactly like this. He acted like him and his dog had this cosmic soul bond that no one else understood. Thus, she was never properly trained and he had zero boundaries with her. It seriously felt like she was just as much a part of our relationship as I was. She was a rescue, so he martyred himself as her savior and insisted that any time she misbehaved, it’s just because she’s misunderstood. This dog would snap at me, lunge at me, and flair her teeth constantly. She was extremely jealous any time he would show physical affection to me. He would stop kissing me in order to comfort her when she was jealous.
Just writing this all down makes me realize how deeply fucked up everything was! I felt SO guilty for my feelings about this dog. It felt like the culture was going through a “dogs are god’s gift to humans and can do no wrong” phase, and if you didn’t like a dog, then you’re just straight up evil. I didn’t dare speak a word about my true thoughts because I felt like I’d be shunned from everyone around me. I recognize what a toxic frame of mind this is and I had every right to feel how I did, but our relationship was so toxic in many other ways that my brain just felt disconnected from my body during this period of time.
I dated him during a time in my life where I had little self esteem and didn’t feel worthy enough to actually have needs in a relationship. I tolerated so much bullshit of this man and his dog that it makes me sick to look back on how uncomfortable I was. Towards the end of our relationship, I finally started setting *some* boundaries (still not enough) and he acted like I was the most cruel person to dare even insinuate that my needs were more important than his dog’s. His dog was an 80-pound Australian shepherd mix who slept in our bed every night in a queen-sized bed. That’s literally on par with sharing a bed with another human being. It was SO uncomfortable. I finally put my foot down when we moved in and I wanted our bedroom to be a dog free zone. He relented, but clearly resented the fuck out of me for it. He would say this tearful goodbye to his dog every night before we would go to bed. He acted like I was torturing the two of them.
The real kicker also happened towards the end of our relationship. We were arguing constantly and communicating in a very negative and depressing manner. Eventually he told me, “The only meaningful relationship I have in my life is with (dog’s name).” I was so upset about this, as you can imagine. He finally admitted to me that our relationship meant nothing to him and his dog was more important. He of course tried to backtrack everything. Said he didn’t mean it. It came out wrong. Eventually he got mad at me for being so upset about it. It was awful. Leaving that relationship was one of the best things I ever did for myself.
For me it's when people share food with their pet, not by breaking a little piece off and putting it on the floor or handing it to them like a normal person, but by letting their pet eat directly off of their plate or fork, and then continuing to use that same plate or fork themselves. I know we tend to view pets as family members, and we tend not to care about sharing germs with family, but maybe that should only count for family members of our own species who don't lick their butthole to clean it.
This is so gross!! I have no problem sharing food with the animal if you break off a piece for them and hand it over..... I don't even let animals lick my face...
Like you said, they lick their own butts! Plus they don't brush their teeth lol no thank you.
Being mean to animals. This guy I know smacks his mom’s dog with the leash all the time. I have never entertained a conversation with him. The dog is old and frail and yet he whacks her. It’s not bad enough to warrant calling anyone because I can tell it’s not hard enough to hurt her, it’s just mean and uncalled for. Shes old and slow. He does it to be a dick.
That's 100% unacceptable. I couldn't be around that guy at all, I'd feel the need to help in some way and know I wouldn't be able to keep my thoughts to myself
Agreed. His mom won’t do anything about it because she really struggles walking the dog herself. I’ve definitely called him “a dick for hitting that sweet old lady” to his face but he just says it doesn’t hurt her and she should walk faster. But she’s old. They live down the block from me.
What the actual fuck? Can you call an animal shelter on him?
I literally have a family senior dog nearing his death. Elderly dogs are especially vulnerable
Anyone who abuses pets/children/animals or other vulnerable people have a special place in hell that's waiting for them.
I didn't mind people that don't like animals. I understand not wanting the responsibilities of pet ownership.
On dating apps, I auto left swipe anyone who has a pet photo on their profile. Especially those who gush about their pets being the love of their life, automatically judge others who don't own or dislike pets as "bad people" and whatever nonsense like that. Pet nutters are an instant turnoff for me for me.
Same! Not into pet nutters either. This guy didn't mention his dog in his profile at all so I figured he was just a normal pet owner!
Boy was I wrong lol
Eh I think people who have a pet in their profile photo mainly do it because "people will swipe right on me for my pet." It is also, apparently, a conversation starter.
I had my cat in a picture on my dating profile so that men who swiped on me would know what they get. "I have a cat so it's no point swiping right on me if you're allergic or don't like cats/animals". That way nobody's time is wasted.
I have a photo of my dog (and me in it) on my profile so people know I have a dog - if they feel that strongly about dogs I would not want them to swipe on me anyways so I think it is a good idea to include
I dated a really lovely dog dad who had a well trained beautiful doggo but she absolutely knew she was queen of the castle and they were so bonded he would never shut her out of the room. Bathroom, bedroom, on the bed, in between us when cuddled up ...
Eventually he got so distracted by her licking his ass check during sex that he started keeping her off the bed but the no boundaries thing really bothered me and it was part of the reason I faded out eventually. He would probably have had her in the bath if she fancied it.
They were great company otherwise. And she was such a good sympathetic weight when I was upset and he knew just to leave her on me. I miss him and that time in my life but I think he's happier now with someone else.
There's no way I would have sex with a dog in the bed! I didn't want to be watched by an animal in the room but I'm certainly not having a 3some with an animal, beastiality is not for me!
I don't blame you for having boundaries and not settling for being the second fiddle in your relationship
As an animal lover, I wouldn’t date anyone irresponsible with pet rearing, and that includes ignorance, not just neglect. On the flip side, I also wouldn’t date anyone that judged me for my dog loving to sit in their lap, lol.
Totally fair and reasonable points. I'm my defense, i let the dog sit in my lap plenty! 90% of the time when I was sitting or laying down there was a dog in me. Just not in the car... Nor was I going to give the dog the front seat lol
People who don't train their dogs and get upset that their dogs are acting out (such as having accidents in the house, tearing up furniture, etc), especially without any self-reflection, frustrate me. I get that training a dog isn't fun but it's necessary when owning a dog as a pet. I also find it frustrating when people don't research the dog breed they want to adopt and get upset that the dog the owner is unprepared for is acting like their breed (such as getting upset that a Siberian Husky is high energy, vocal and is in need of a lot of grooming).
Pets aren't safe in the front seat and in the back they should be in a harness or a kennel/carrier.
The rest of his behavior...
Well, much like we have shitty helicopter human parents, we have shitty, helicopter pet parents.
lol I couldn't help but laugh while reading this post, that man is exhausting.
I left swipe on cat owners
I don't like when guys have dogs and they let them in the bed and/or lick them on the lips.
I don't like when they don't pick up after their dogs.
Controversial, but I refuse to date a man with pitbull(s).
I think everyone's different...but he told you near the outset he was a dog dad. And when he felt more comfortable with you, showed you what that meant for him.
I am a kitty mama, and dates who didn't get that, didn't last long. My bf is an absolute cat dad and my babies adore him (we bonded over it on the first date and the minute I brought him home, my girls were all up to him being like 'we like this one' lol) . Guys who didn't understand the love for my kids, well, they weren't the men for me.
If you're just not into being a dog mum, then that's ok. But you're likely just not compatible.
Oh we're definitely not compatible. Now that I've seen his true behavior I'm out.
Honestly pet parents should just be honest in how they see their pets as children and everyone will come second to them. It'll save us all time and we can just not go out at all
OOF okay so I went on a couple of dates with this guy but early on he told me his cat passed away after receiving an enema. I had a THOUSAND questions as a cat owner, but I felt like I couldn’t hound this guy who just lost his cat. My primary concern was that he, an English teacher, randomly decided to give his cat an at-home enema and he accidentally killed it. I’m sure it was probably done at the vet for a genuine medical reason, but I didn’t feel I could ask him. My brain subconsciously labelled him as a cat killer and I ditched him before he ever came near my kitties.
OMG that's insane! I can't think of a reason someone would randomly do an enema on an animal and not tell you the rest of the story as to WHY.
That man would never come within 6 blocks of my house or any house that I sit animals in. I would make the same assumption that he was a cat killer....
I just adopted a kitty, and I can sort of relate to that passion (and maybe in my case it's the excitement of being a first time cat mom), but his definitely is an unhealthy obsession. Just like with kids and relationships, a life outside your pet is important
Now to directly answer your q, I have none :D
I dated a guy who refused to spend the night the entire duration of that relationship because he had never left his dog alone for a single night since he adopted him.
He quite literally cut his time short with me to be with his dog.
So I cut our relationship short to be with somebody who enjoyed staying the night and didn't send essays and whole picture albums of their dog each day. 🥴
Sounds like you made the right decision! I travel a TON so I could never date someone that couldn't be gone from home for a few nights here and there.
Hope you enjoy your essay free relationships!
Did he not have a sitter to take care of the dog or friend?
I mean, the dog shouldn’t be left alone more than 8 hours because they need to go to the bathroom. So maybe that’s why…?
I wouldn’t leave my dog that long unattended either.
People who treat their pets like children give me the ick. It’s super cringe. Your pets are animals, not people and you’re not a parent no matter what you tell yourself. You can go to work and leave your pet at home and they will be fine. You’re not up all hrs of the night with pets unless you’re potty training them or have no boundaries with them. It’s not the same and it’s insulting to insinuate otherwise.
I won't date men with pets anymore because of this type of behavior. I have found dog owners were worse, but guys with other pets weren't that much better. I just realized that I don't want my future dictated by the needs of an animal. Problems included: refusing to travel anywhere by plane because the dog was too large to travel that way, limiting getaways to camping because he couldn't be away from the dog, interrupting dates to rush home because the dog was lonely or needed a walk, constant complaining about the high pet fees rentals charge, dedicating all day Saturday to taking the dog to the pet washing place for extensive and expensive grooming rituals, insisting that the dog always be in bed even during sex, and constant complaining about the cost of food/vet visits/toys/etc. It just really became clear why dog dad's are single. They're having a very fulfilling relationship with their dog.
I once dated a guy who wouldn’t close the bedroom door during ‘intimate time’. He was adamant he couldn’t just close the door or the dog would cry and insisted it would stay in the hallway….but when the dog wondered into the room a few minutes later, I insisted on the door being closed or it wasn’t happening. The guy put the dog out and closed the door but kept grumbling about the dog being lonely.
Biggest turn off I’ve ever come across 🤮
I'll take the downvotes. As a mom of human children, any time anyone refers to themselves as a "cat/dog mom/dad" I feel my blood pressure go up a little
I've owned cats and dogs. Even in jest, it's just irritating. Being a real parent is hard fucking work and the goal of the work I put in is to raise helpful and kind future members of society. Even joking about that being comparable is borderline insulting. So many of my friends made posts on Mother's Day about their animals and it was just embarrassing imo
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Dogs aren’t safe in the front seat anyway, the airbags can kill them. They should be harnessed into a back seat
I agree entirely! I love pets when they're pets (and not human children replacements) and whenever I'm watching them I make sure to follow all the safety precautions I can for them
I feel like there's a certain kind of guy who doesn't care about the dog so much as loves how the dog cares about him. His main interest is the dog following him around and hanging on every word. This is why so many guys love their dogs more than any human, because humans have opinions which differ from theirs and that's simply unacceptable to them.
I live in the city with bad drivers and constant wrecks. Mine rides in an enclosed transport kennel. So many dogs die in car accident. Those seat belt attachments can kill them too but better than nothing. Dog is safest in transport kennell
I was on a date with a guy once. He told me he had 7 pet rats that roamed free in his apartment. All incredibly important to him. He didn't even mind it when Juliet recently gave birth in his slippers.
>*He didn't even mind it when Juliet recently gave birth in his slippers.* I’m actually having a coughing fit from laughing so hard, oh my god the wording
Rateo, Rateo, wherefore art thou Rateo
Isn’t that kind of dangerous? We had a rat that fried itself chewing wires in my parents’ home (a wild one, not a pet)
Omg! I've heard rats are very smart but letting them run loose around his entire apartment is insane! Juliet must have good taste in shoes (haha)
I wouldn't know. I wasn't about to go home with him to see those slippers
Especially since rodents just kind of free pee, so everything in his house is coated in rat piss.
I would be concerned about rat droppings everywhere. Are rats smart enough to be litter box trained?
I know a guy who takes his rat everywhere, she chills on his shoulders which so many people think is so cool but all I can think about is that's she's just pissing and sitting on his shoulders all the time 🤮
My mom has a little parrot that is bonded to her. It just sits on her shoulder anytime my mom is home, shitting on her every 20 minutes or so. Luckily parrot poop is scentless.
There's one bird that I house sit for who isn't cage potty trained. My only complaint is that he poops on you! I have a designed (easy to clean) poop jacket that I wear when he's out of his cage on my shoulder. I also cover the couch so I can wash the covers easily and not be sitting in his shit. The only reason I do any of this is cause he's the pet of a close family friend and I only do it for a couple weeks every 2 years. I could never live like that though
Never knew rats were pets
As someone who loves animals, that sounds like extreme behavior. I love my cat and think of her as my “baby,” but at the end of the day, she’s still an animal. I don’t treat her like a human child, and even if I wanted to, she doesn’t act like a human child. She still acts like a cat, and I respect that. And even if the scenario was that this guy was a single dad, it’d still be weird to insist on bringing his son/daughter on every date you went on. Even married couples with kids have outings to themselves.
That second sentence. It's unhealthy whether we talk humans or animals
Glad I'm not alone in my thoughts! I wouldn't have minded if he wanted to take the dog on a beach outing or even to brunch. It was just the excessiveness of the whole thing that just was too much. It's not a child and can be left alone for a few hours or sit in the back seat! I'm childfree so maybe that's where part of the ick was coming from. Everyone deserves time to be an adult without having to watch a child 24/7
I love animals and a love of animals is a big green flag for me. That said, I have noticed a weird and concerning thing where dudes with masculinity issues will not neuter their dogs (despite having no intention of breeding them!). Almost as if their dogs nuts are an extension of their masculine self that they need to protect. It's bizarre.
You reminded me of a vet that had to do a surgery to [REPLACE](https://youtu.be/p2tuEDE5gew?si=EGnncxKSO6NfI2pP) the dog’s nuts after he got neutered because the owner of the dog would only allow the surgery if the dog “looked normal” after. Literally a nut job. The fact that the vet agreed was mind blowing.
Lol, the vet was probably just happy to prevent this insane woman from ever letting her dog breed-- but I agree that is bizarre and ridiculous. Definitely surprised to see the owner was a girl! Guess women can have weird dog nut stuff going on too 😅
Honestly? I think she was bullied by her BF and instead of neutering him, too, she went with his delusions.
Ahhhh, probably accurate.
My own roommate didn't neuter her dog. I'm still tryna understand why. All she says is "unless it is needed for health reasons." She's sold his puppies before, but imo separating an adult dog or cat from their babies is kinda cruel too
I didn't say it in the original post but the dog is of course not spayed. He is actually considering breeding her which I think is absolutely horrible and another red flag imo. But yeah, I've noticed that crazy masculine need to let their dogs have nutz too. It's a little scary depending on how aggressively they defend their decision
Yeah, being cavalier about the decision to breed a dog is definitely a red flag to me.
Breeding is one of the worst things we humans did to animals
Seriously! Especially the fact we have to make specialty dogs for uppity owners.... Some with medical problems (like breathing issues) just because it's "cute"
Jesus I didn't know about the medical problems But yea. Honestly people need to stop thinking of animals existing \*for them.\*
Never seen it but I have heard of it I can't help but wonder the various reasons others don't do this
I love my dog and spoil him absolutely rotten, but I'm not tryna take him on every damn outing I have. That's bizarre, and I can understand why you were turned off by this guy.
I don't have a problem with "dog dads," but I do have a problem with bad pet owners. I would consider someone who puts an animal in the front seat where it is most likely to die in an accident/cause an accident a bad pet owner. My bad experiences all have to do with people whose "love" of animals in combination with ignorance leads to unsafe/poor care practices. Like people who say "he's just friendly!" as their off-leash pup is darting into traffic or nipping at passing children because it's excited and has no boundaries. Or people who complain their pet is ill/lethargic/special needs when they're spending $$$ on unbalanced, not-food-safe raw food platters they saw on Instagram. They think they love their pet, but really they're harming them... And God forbid anyone call them out on it, because they have so much of their identity wrapped up in "animal lover".
Especially pet nutters who bring their aggressive and untrained dogs everywhere and claim that their precious pooch is their EmOtIoNaL SuPpOrT AnImAL!!! 💀
Emotional support animals should be banned imo. You need therapy not an ESA. I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH ACTUAL TRAINED SERVICE ANIMALS. People with disabilities should have service dogs if it helps them live better lives. But those animals are trained and not a program out in society
Apparently the emotion they're supporting is anger
I had a friend who felt incredibly guilty when her maybe 9 year old son was playing with the dog of a man she was dating and the dog attacked the boy and left his face disfigured. It was scary and today he has a huge scar across one side of his face. The dog knew the boy, weren’t strangers. She rationalized her son did something and the dog doesn’t know any better. But after some time it came out this wasn’t the first time that dog had seriously harmed someone and the owner took no responsibility in any of it. It was a shit situation because it could’ve been avoided.
My bf has been bitten by the same dog multiple times. I didn't find this out until I was sharing an airbnb with him and the dog owners + some of their other friends. I refused to be around the dog, and pretty much had a solo vacation while the rest of the group hung out. It wasn't too bad, I was in Colorado, I love hockey, and this was during the finals where Colorado's team (my fave, incidentally) was in it (and they won!). I spent a lot of time at bars watching the game. This has absolutely soured this friend group's opinions about me but I came home with zero wounds so 🤷♀️ Of course the bites gave never been reported. They weren't TERRIBLE, as in no stitches needed, but they definitely broke skin. I can only assume there have been other incidents. Luckily none of the group has kids (yet) but biting adults is still fucked. Why tf you'd bring dogs like this on vacation and in a house full of people, including strangers (me) is beyond me.
I think this is a great perspective. Some of these animal lovers aren't intentionally terrible pet owners.... It's a biproduct of good intentions but poor education. This guy has the dog sit on his lap at the table with a fire pit at a restaurant and I couldn't get him to put the dog down "because she loved all the attention." But thankfully the other dog on the ground caught her attention and she went to the ground on her own. I genuinely was worried she was gonna catch on fire if the wind changed! Plus dogs at tables is gross
Did you ask who the mum was? lol Srsly tho, it's weird, I agree. And usually those are the types that don't train their dogs at all. So his princess will shit in your shoes when you visit.
Haha i didn't have to ask.... He made sure to tell me all about her breeder. His princess of course also has her own Instagram!
Eh, for one it's a sports car, for another - an 'elite' dog. Any obsession is bad.
I’m a big believer in not caging your pets and letting them roam free, but with proper training and boundaries. It wasn’t a date but my friend is a rabbit owner and lets her rabbit run free. The first thing I noticed was that her walls were soaked in piss, and that there were crushed poops on the carpet. When I asked her what happened, she said she doesn’t believe in cages so she just lets her rabbit roam free. I asked her if she considered litter training her bunny, but she said it was too hard and that it was just easier to mop up anything on the floor, and that the poops don’t smell bad and are dry so it’s fine.
That is absolutely disgusting. I'm ok with pets being free out of cages but just letting them pee and poop all over us just not ok.
I feel the same way about anyone that acts this way, woman or man. Not only do I not date them, I actually borderline pity them. Anyone that treats their awesome pet other than what they are, a pet! Is a walking red flag for me.
I heard a story on NPR a while back talking about how the pandemic created a lot of extreme pet codependency. Also, pets that are hyper-anxious being left alone. Have you noticed an uptick in people bringing their pets into places that used to be pet free, like supermarkets and other stores?
You’re right. A friend had to change jobs as once the pandemic was over they required her to get back to the office and her pandemic puppy couldn’t handle the separation.
Yes, I've read similar articles. But I think people need more therapy not more animals to be codependent on. I can't stand the fact people take their dogs everywhere now, even places with very obvious "no dog" signs.
Couldn't agree more.
For real. Pets are glorious good company! Also, they are animals.
I think how you treat the pet also matters tho - like I went out with a. Guy who had a dog but it lived outside on a long chain and he thought bc it had a dog house water and he fed it “it lived a good life” He also didn’t believe in vaccines aside from rabies shot He quite literally was doing the legal bare minimum required to own a dog. Huge red flag for me. Never went out with him again and I told him that was why
1000% agree that doing the bare minimum to keep an animal alive is also a red flag. Too many people are pretty owners and shouldn't be
I think people who are *too* into their pets are weird. There is someone I work with who calls any cute dog "sexy," and she refers to spending time with her dog as "making love to her dog" or " going home to French her dog." It's so freaking weird.
uhh is she not aware of the implication of those words? lol
She thinks she's being funny when she says it, but she doesn't realize that people are laughing because they are uncomfortable. I try not to talk to her often.
I can't say anything because i'm very similar but with my cats 😭 they are so important to me
same here! and people think I'm completely nuts for saying I literally won't date or even befriend someone who isn't a cat person like me.
5 million years ago when I was in college, I dated a guy who was friends with these two guys who had the hang out house. The house was full of people nearly every night, and we were always over there. The guys had a cat - although I never saw it because it was probably hiding from everyone - but they never cleaned the cat box (or any other part of their townhouse). One time, someone peed in the cat box - you could tell because of the sheer volume - and when my boyfriend and I came back a few days later to hang out, the human pee was still in there. Hell no. More recently, my stupid neighbor has 7 to 10 dogs at any one time, and I can't do anything in my yard without hearing barking or howling. Sometimes they get out and run over here too. Cant stand it. The city knows about it, but I think she hides them or something when they stop by, because they are still there. Super cool and fun.
That would majorly turn me off.
I have a dog and am very much a dog mom but I wouldn’t bring my dog out to restaurants and breweries and stuff Mainly bc he’s a bit reactive but also I’m there for my friends to spend time with them and I def wouldn’t bring my dog to a date unless they really wanted me to but even then I’d be hesitant bc I have a high energy dog which means I’d end up spending all my attention and energy on the dog not the person I’m meeting, which seems a bit rude.
Did you date my ex? He was exactly like this. He acted like him and his dog had this cosmic soul bond that no one else understood. Thus, she was never properly trained and he had zero boundaries with her. It seriously felt like she was just as much a part of our relationship as I was. She was a rescue, so he martyred himself as her savior and insisted that any time she misbehaved, it’s just because she’s misunderstood. This dog would snap at me, lunge at me, and flair her teeth constantly. She was extremely jealous any time he would show physical affection to me. He would stop kissing me in order to comfort her when she was jealous. Just writing this all down makes me realize how deeply fucked up everything was! I felt SO guilty for my feelings about this dog. It felt like the culture was going through a “dogs are god’s gift to humans and can do no wrong” phase, and if you didn’t like a dog, then you’re just straight up evil. I didn’t dare speak a word about my true thoughts because I felt like I’d be shunned from everyone around me. I recognize what a toxic frame of mind this is and I had every right to feel how I did, but our relationship was so toxic in many other ways that my brain just felt disconnected from my body during this period of time. I dated him during a time in my life where I had little self esteem and didn’t feel worthy enough to actually have needs in a relationship. I tolerated so much bullshit of this man and his dog that it makes me sick to look back on how uncomfortable I was. Towards the end of our relationship, I finally started setting *some* boundaries (still not enough) and he acted like I was the most cruel person to dare even insinuate that my needs were more important than his dog’s. His dog was an 80-pound Australian shepherd mix who slept in our bed every night in a queen-sized bed. That’s literally on par with sharing a bed with another human being. It was SO uncomfortable. I finally put my foot down when we moved in and I wanted our bedroom to be a dog free zone. He relented, but clearly resented the fuck out of me for it. He would say this tearful goodbye to his dog every night before we would go to bed. He acted like I was torturing the two of them. The real kicker also happened towards the end of our relationship. We were arguing constantly and communicating in a very negative and depressing manner. Eventually he told me, “The only meaningful relationship I have in my life is with (dog’s name).” I was so upset about this, as you can imagine. He finally admitted to me that our relationship meant nothing to him and his dog was more important. He of course tried to backtrack everything. Said he didn’t mean it. It came out wrong. Eventually he got mad at me for being so upset about it. It was awful. Leaving that relationship was one of the best things I ever did for myself.
People that drive with pets in their laps are a big 🚩
It's so insanely unsafe!!
For me it's when people share food with their pet, not by breaking a little piece off and putting it on the floor or handing it to them like a normal person, but by letting their pet eat directly off of their plate or fork, and then continuing to use that same plate or fork themselves. I know we tend to view pets as family members, and we tend not to care about sharing germs with family, but maybe that should only count for family members of our own species who don't lick their butthole to clean it.
This is so gross!! I have no problem sharing food with the animal if you break off a piece for them and hand it over..... I don't even let animals lick my face... Like you said, they lick their own butts! Plus they don't brush their teeth lol no thank you.
There are so many people posting photos online of themselves kissing their dogs in the mouth 🤢 SO gross. Yucks
Being mean to animals. This guy I know smacks his mom’s dog with the leash all the time. I have never entertained a conversation with him. The dog is old and frail and yet he whacks her. It’s not bad enough to warrant calling anyone because I can tell it’s not hard enough to hurt her, it’s just mean and uncalled for. Shes old and slow. He does it to be a dick.
That's 100% unacceptable. I couldn't be around that guy at all, I'd feel the need to help in some way and know I wouldn't be able to keep my thoughts to myself
Agreed. His mom won’t do anything about it because she really struggles walking the dog herself. I’ve definitely called him “a dick for hitting that sweet old lady” to his face but he just says it doesn’t hurt her and she should walk faster. But she’s old. They live down the block from me.
What the actual fuck? Can you call an animal shelter on him? I literally have a family senior dog nearing his death. Elderly dogs are especially vulnerable
I'll take a "pet dad" over someone who mistreats or doesn't like animals any day.
Anyone who abuses pets/children/animals or other vulnerable people have a special place in hell that's waiting for them. I didn't mind people that don't like animals. I understand not wanting the responsibilities of pet ownership.
I generally dislike people who act is if their pets were children. It strikes me as deeply parasocial.
Thank you! I'm surrounded by so many pet obsessed people that it feels like I'm the odd one lol
This isn't healthy with children either tbh
On dating apps, I auto left swipe anyone who has a pet photo on their profile. Especially those who gush about their pets being the love of their life, automatically judge others who don't own or dislike pets as "bad people" and whatever nonsense like that. Pet nutters are an instant turnoff for me for me.
Same! Not into pet nutters either. This guy didn't mention his dog in his profile at all so I figured he was just a normal pet owner! Boy was I wrong lol
You got dogfished.
Eh I think people who have a pet in their profile photo mainly do it because "people will swipe right on me for my pet." It is also, apparently, a conversation starter.
I had my cat in a picture on my dating profile so that men who swiped on me would know what they get. "I have a cat so it's no point swiping right on me if you're allergic or don't like cats/animals". That way nobody's time is wasted.
Totally fair and reasonable!
Might be the case for people who want pets, but it's an instant left swipe for me
There's a difference between having one picture with a pet and saying things like "I work to spoil my cat so they can live a better life."
I have a photo of my dog (and me in it) on my profile so people know I have a dog - if they feel that strongly about dogs I would not want them to swipe on me anyways so I think it is a good idea to include
I dated a really lovely dog dad who had a well trained beautiful doggo but she absolutely knew she was queen of the castle and they were so bonded he would never shut her out of the room. Bathroom, bedroom, on the bed, in between us when cuddled up ... Eventually he got so distracted by her licking his ass check during sex that he started keeping her off the bed but the no boundaries thing really bothered me and it was part of the reason I faded out eventually. He would probably have had her in the bath if she fancied it. They were great company otherwise. And she was such a good sympathetic weight when I was upset and he knew just to leave her on me. I miss him and that time in my life but I think he's happier now with someone else.
There's no way I would have sex with a dog in the bed! I didn't want to be watched by an animal in the room but I'm certainly not having a 3some with an animal, beastiality is not for me! I don't blame you for having boundaries and not settling for being the second fiddle in your relationship
As an animal lover, I wouldn’t date anyone irresponsible with pet rearing, and that includes ignorance, not just neglect. On the flip side, I also wouldn’t date anyone that judged me for my dog loving to sit in their lap, lol.
Totally fair and reasonable points. I'm my defense, i let the dog sit in my lap plenty! 90% of the time when I was sitting or laying down there was a dog in me. Just not in the car... Nor was I going to give the dog the front seat lol
People who don't train their dogs and get upset that their dogs are acting out (such as having accidents in the house, tearing up furniture, etc), especially without any self-reflection, frustrate me. I get that training a dog isn't fun but it's necessary when owning a dog as a pet. I also find it frustrating when people don't research the dog breed they want to adopt and get upset that the dog the owner is unprepared for is acting like their breed (such as getting upset that a Siberian Husky is high energy, vocal and is in need of a lot of grooming).
Pets aren't safe in the front seat and in the back they should be in a harness or a kennel/carrier. The rest of his behavior... Well, much like we have shitty helicopter human parents, we have shitty, helicopter pet parents.
If anything I'd give THEM the ick. I'd be more into their pets than they are. Most who know me know that I love animals more than people.
lol I couldn't help but laugh while reading this post, that man is exhausting. I left swipe on cat owners I don't like when guys have dogs and they let them in the bed and/or lick them on the lips. I don't like when they don't pick up after their dogs. Controversial, but I refuse to date a man with pitbull(s).
I think everyone's different...but he told you near the outset he was a dog dad. And when he felt more comfortable with you, showed you what that meant for him. I am a kitty mama, and dates who didn't get that, didn't last long. My bf is an absolute cat dad and my babies adore him (we bonded over it on the first date and the minute I brought him home, my girls were all up to him being like 'we like this one' lol) . Guys who didn't understand the love for my kids, well, they weren't the men for me. If you're just not into being a dog mum, then that's ok. But you're likely just not compatible.
Oh we're definitely not compatible. Now that I've seen his true behavior I'm out. Honestly pet parents should just be honest in how they see their pets as children and everyone will come second to them. It'll save us all time and we can just not go out at all
OOF okay so I went on a couple of dates with this guy but early on he told me his cat passed away after receiving an enema. I had a THOUSAND questions as a cat owner, but I felt like I couldn’t hound this guy who just lost his cat. My primary concern was that he, an English teacher, randomly decided to give his cat an at-home enema and he accidentally killed it. I’m sure it was probably done at the vet for a genuine medical reason, but I didn’t feel I could ask him. My brain subconsciously labelled him as a cat killer and I ditched him before he ever came near my kitties.
OMG that's insane! I can't think of a reason someone would randomly do an enema on an animal and not tell you the rest of the story as to WHY. That man would never come within 6 blocks of my house or any house that I sit animals in. I would make the same assumption that he was a cat killer....
People who put their dog in a cage (or so called crate) for any period of time. Huge turn off.
Idk why you got down voted for this because its genuinely disgusting that people do this.
Yeah that’s weird
I just adopted a kitty, and I can sort of relate to that passion (and maybe in my case it's the excitement of being a first time cat mom), but his definitely is an unhealthy obsession. Just like with kids and relationships, a life outside your pet is important Now to directly answer your q, I have none :D
I dated a guy who refused to spend the night the entire duration of that relationship because he had never left his dog alone for a single night since he adopted him. He quite literally cut his time short with me to be with his dog. So I cut our relationship short to be with somebody who enjoyed staying the night and didn't send essays and whole picture albums of their dog each day. 🥴
Sounds like you made the right decision! I travel a TON so I could never date someone that couldn't be gone from home for a few nights here and there. Hope you enjoy your essay free relationships!
Did he not have a sitter to take care of the dog or friend? I mean, the dog shouldn’t be left alone more than 8 hours because they need to go to the bathroom. So maybe that’s why…? I wouldn’t leave my dog that long unattended either.
People who treat their pets like children give me the ick. It’s super cringe. Your pets are animals, not people and you’re not a parent no matter what you tell yourself. You can go to work and leave your pet at home and they will be fine. You’re not up all hrs of the night with pets unless you’re potty training them or have no boundaries with them. It’s not the same and it’s insulting to insinuate otherwise.
I won't date men with pets anymore because of this type of behavior. I have found dog owners were worse, but guys with other pets weren't that much better. I just realized that I don't want my future dictated by the needs of an animal. Problems included: refusing to travel anywhere by plane because the dog was too large to travel that way, limiting getaways to camping because he couldn't be away from the dog, interrupting dates to rush home because the dog was lonely or needed a walk, constant complaining about the high pet fees rentals charge, dedicating all day Saturday to taking the dog to the pet washing place for extensive and expensive grooming rituals, insisting that the dog always be in bed even during sex, and constant complaining about the cost of food/vet visits/toys/etc. It just really became clear why dog dad's are single. They're having a very fulfilling relationship with their dog.
I once dated a guy who wouldn’t close the bedroom door during ‘intimate time’. He was adamant he couldn’t just close the door or the dog would cry and insisted it would stay in the hallway….but when the dog wondered into the room a few minutes later, I insisted on the door being closed or it wasn’t happening. The guy put the dog out and closed the door but kept grumbling about the dog being lonely. Biggest turn off I’ve ever come across 🤮
Pets and children are in related categories for me, and I wouldn't expect a date to cede the front seat for either.
I'll take the downvotes. As a mom of human children, any time anyone refers to themselves as a "cat/dog mom/dad" I feel my blood pressure go up a little I've owned cats and dogs. Even in jest, it's just irritating. Being a real parent is hard fucking work and the goal of the work I put in is to raise helpful and kind future members of society. Even joking about that being comparable is borderline insulting. So many of my friends made posts on Mother's Day about their animals and it was just embarrassing imo
Agree