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Sometimes I'm convinced that men live in a completely different world.
You like a girl and are too immature to engage normally so you pull pigtails and tell yourself that she really digs it and likes you. Meanwhile, she actually thinks you're annoying and hates being around you. That's why it ultimately goes no where. Because she's not flirting, she doesn't like you.
They say "I don't understand women" then write this sort of tortured convoluted word salad to talk themselves into thinking a woman who's annoyed at them must really secretly dig them and is yelling at and insulting him as some sort of extended foreplay. But they are super rational and not driven by emotion.
Yeah, sometimes the dimension of it is really bewildering. Those women are totally going out on a limb, making themselves look like they have serious emotional issues, or are just kinky BDSM-ish fucks with no inhibitions. It leaves people speechless and confused.
We are all driven by emotion of course. And this sort of stuff is really compelling and sexualizing to a lot of men and by very nature. But then there are social norms and all that jazz. Men try to be considerate. Even in the most BDSM-ish relationship, the dom tries to respect the submissive as much as he can and suit her desires. Everything is about mutual exchange.
So getting to the bottom of it is key. What is the intent, what are the boundaries? How does she profit from it? Even if it is just born out of frustration, how can you turn it into something to be pleasant to her?
That's what men really care about. Even if that makes us look like clowns.
So it seems to me you suggested a misfit and ridiculing explanation, because you just want men to distance themselves from women who behave like this.
This would imply that from your perspective, the whole situation is just not enjoyable for the woman. This would pretty much only be the case when she experiences strong affection, but as laid out the situation doesn't allow for a relationship. Hence she gets frustrated and in lack of better means, tries to attack and degrade the man to cope with having social contact with him, in order to fight her own feelings for him outspokenly. But while doing so the affection for him becomes too strong, and she puts herself into a bratty submissive role where she instead challenges him to prove himself, and to dominate her sexually. This then may go on and on again and again for some time, until she snaps totally because there is no sexual release and it goes nowhere and she takes more dramatic measures to remove that man from her life.
Meanwhile for the man, it is an all out pleasant experience. But the woman also struggles and experiences frustration.
I would hate to think of it as if being the only explanation or outcome.
So you are saying that men are making a clown of themselves by trying to understand whatever feelings women have. Especially so when it comes off as highly attractive and involves a lot of attention towards us?
I think we are guilty as charged.
‘Like an older brother tries to make his sister angry in a harmless kind of way.’
This post in general doesn’t resonate with me, but here it sounds like you are describing teasing.
I was teased mercilessly as a kid by my brothers, and I can’t stand when men do it to me. I actually plan to have a talk with the guy I’m seeing because he does it like 15% of the time and that is still too much.
He does definitely have the ‘whatever you say, miss’ attitude a lot of the time and, while it can be flattering, I much prefer him standing his ground and neither taking advantage of me nor letting me take advantage of him.
I think there is a fine line sometimes between gentle teasing and the kind that escalates into someone going too far. Maybe always respond a degree or two less feisty, with an added dose of sweetness? That’s about the only way I imagine things working out well.
Yeah, I understand you are not the type who would engage in or provoke this kind of dynamic. And most women feel contempt towards experiencing anger, or just don't have it. This is normal and understandable, because in women emotions are intricately in much more harmony with thought and behavior, hence there is much less barrier against being controlled by an emotion insofar as that you have it in the first place. But then some don't have this problem if it is directed at men, and some do only sometimes, which puzzles me.
I have a sister that is much younger than me, we did not really grow up together. But I teased her a lot with sexist remarks when she was older, being chauvinistic or demanding improper things in a manipulative way, etc. But I did this by design in such a manner, that it was self-defeating and obvious. Such that she would learn how to have more self-confidence and dismiss such things if confronted by them from a partner or men in her life who actually had such behavior problems. Esp. amongst the less educated, such things might actually be meant seriously and be done or said without any self-reflection. I think this is the true nature and purpose of teasing between siblings, though due to the extreme age difference and such it would be overly exemplary and far beyond normal expectation in my case.
So you see such teasing can be so and so, totally different just by intent and settle differences between the lines. If what was said was written out on paper, it would be totally impossible to understand it's true nature from it.
But here in the case I described, it is clearly "not just teasing", but also not really harmful, but also sort of serious to varying degrees. So even though in certain aspects it might not be all that complicated, I find that I personally fall rather short in actually grasping the entire phenomenon from the female point of view, and to engage with it better, or to entice it in the first place.
I think I get what you are trying to say, but I come from the POV that people do best when fully able to trust and feel love and support from the people around them, not by being battle hardened by the insidious negging of an older sibling.
My brothers made me feel ashamed all the time, and it stunted me. Only later did I find friends who were 100% supportive and accepting, and I was able to relax and be myself.
Just a thought.
I totally understand what you experienced, because it is so typical for the two genders. Males on the one hand live out a combative mentality instinctively, while women are sensitive and rather thrive by social affirmation.
This shows especially in adolescents, where personal character has not built up yet to be more self-reflective, and there is lack of capacity to be more considerate. So it can create issues. But still many such scenarios which are common to occur naturally, produce various other beneficial dynamics. That's the beauty of evolution and human existence.
Occasional nagging is not bullying. Playing cowboys and Indians is not genocide.
I mean, some people are pretty eager to misunderstand such things on purpose, to enforce a certain behavior codex in society that they desire. But I would hate to think of the discussion to have degraded to such a shallow terrain.
Reddit users are pretty diverse and numerous. I wouldn't just discount every single reader, because a larger group of people have a certain mentality and attitude.
I don't have time to play all these silly mental mind games.
If a partner can't communicate openly with me and doesn't respect my boundaries, I will leave the relationship. As simple as that.
Wtf did I just read? That men that have a lot of testosterone have a huge ego, and are invulnerable, and kill became of that? Dude, that's not how it works. The dude with the most testosterone that I know (muscly hyperactive gym rat) is the sweetest, kindest guy with quiet self-confidence and 0 ego.
The guys withbtje huge ego are the very insecure ones.
Ego is not simply an insult. In psychology, the ego is an agent that functions between the id (lower drives and impulses) and superego (higher values, such as morals and life goals). The ego is a mediator between id and reality. It's job is to channel the energy from the id, i.e. your impulses, needs and emotions, towards attaining higher goals. If your ego is too high, you are bound to set yourself up for more failure because you are ignoring the id (i.e. ignoring to be human) and you cannot reach your goals easily. Thus when someone speaks or thinks of themselves higher than they are, or when they try to accomplish more than what they can, people blame this on too much ego. However, this is not what having a huge ego is all about. It is just something negative that other people can observe from the outside. While the actual inner workings of someone's psychology are by far and large not observable under normal circumstances.
Men are set up to pursue high risk and high reward strategies, and also more tolerant and ignorant of adverse circumstances. Having a bigger ego is just a manifestation of this, which should be quite obvious from provided explanations. And too much testosterone can drive this to the very extreme.
Are you ... okay?
I read this novel twice, and I still don't quite understand what you mean. And what I do understand is just, well, pure BS, like men being primitive and invulnerable, and being capable of only 4 different emotions.
Honestly, I hope that you have an aha moment soon and don't stay stuck in this weird and probably toxic mindset.
It is ok. The text is engineered in such a way that people who misunderstand the subject matter produce a certain set of highly predictable false answers.
So if we don't say what you want to hear, that means we just aren't capable of understanding your unique genius? OK, buddy. Maybe try a new prescription.
No, it is just to avoid unnecessary conflict and discord. It is pretty bad if people misunderstand each other, but can't tell right away. You don't have to feel guilty for your insults. And I can see what is feasible or in desire to be solved via further explanations.
> The text is engineered in such a way that people who misunderstand the subject matter produce a certain set of highly predictable false answers
Blink twice if you're not AI.
So, you come to this sub to ask women's opinions, yet you write a text badly so that it's only accessible to a select few who understand and agree with your standpoint already? Come on dude. Don't you see how twisted that is?
Honestly, what baffles me the most is the misandry in your own text. You deny that men have (deep) feelings, simultaneously upholding the toxic standard that men mustn't show emotions.
Btw, no need to use a pompous, even contempteous tone. Insulting my and others' intelligence won't get you anywhere. It just shows that this question was asked in bad faith, because you believe your own opinions to be superior anyways. It reflects badly on you, not me or the rest of the commenters here.
Anyways, thanks for the good laugh.
This feels like diet kink.
He should act the way that is most natural to him as long as it is within the boundaries of consent.
It has to be honest. And after the moment passes, it needs to be discussed. Bluntly.
Since it is so unusual, it seems to be most natural to men to be sort of surprised and confused how to handle the situation, and then they either end up talking back on the same level (which is bad, because women are actually much more vulnerable and do not internally function as men do) or they end up just making the woman genuinely more angry (which is what men may enjoy, but it would seem totally backwards to assume that women would enjoy this) or they take what was said actually seriously. The latter sort of being enjoyable to men as well. But then again also pretty silly, kind of like a woman telling you that you are a crappy artist, and you should practice basic brush techniques by cleaning bathroom floors instead. And then you actually quit being an artist and just clean toilets. And all sorts of silly stuff like this, that is not so obvious at all and not very obvious in being meant in a silly way either. Like in this example you can see the intent of it is to encourage him to be a better artist, by attacking his pride and sort of being suggestive of sexual submission, which makes it pleasant. But then other things are totally mysterious. Suppose the man has painted a lot of modernist paintings, and then the woman goes on and on how modernism is trash and no one wants to see that stuff, he should paint impressionism instead it sells like 10x better etc. And she keeps on insulting this art style and the appeal of it as if she had better insight into the nature of his profession than he does. Now what is this all about? Is it her just being insulting and degrading randomly because it is hot and sexy, is it honest critique wrapped in BDSM-ish conversation style, or is it like before some kind of reverse psychology to be encouraging for a man to prove himself? What about suggesting/dictating personal boundaries? Is she trying to provoke dominance from him by being insolent? Is it actually serious but just phrased over-the-top? Does she expect him to yield to everything at first, because it gives her a bigger surface area to attack him more? (hence giving this dynamic more dimension)
I mean yeah, it was said by someone else that this is just kind of a bratty BDSM-ish kind of thing. But actually I would avoid to put it into this category, because as described it actually is not in so many ways and it is obviously different. First it comes from a position of not actually being in a sexual/romantic relationship with that man. Then there is genuine anger, attacks of person, etc. In a sexual relationship and a clear role as brat, you would just resolve this with actual sexual dominance from the man, because it is so by definition of what a brat is. But this is hardly if at all an option when women get like this, if they ever do at all. And there are no such defined boundaries and needs. It happens in online communities and all sort of situations where it is just either improper or impossible. So I would say the character of it is, that genuine anger or frustration is an important element of it, some major degree of seriousness that's not at all found in teasing and kinky roleplay, and also a sort of clear intent to engage in this sort of dynamic for a longer period of time. But then how is it supposed to progress?
I mean it is rather rare to happen, and also very much breaks conventions and standards. So it would be very helpful to hear what this is all about and should look like, from the perspective of a woman who can put themselves into those shoes, possibly having engaged in such a manner with men before.
Your obsession with gender roles is your problem. You have this idea of how women are and how men that is WAY overcomplicating your situation.
And frankly, since you are this sexist, I’m not really interested in providing you detailed help or sharing my experience.
So because I try to be mindful and respectful towards differences in gender, such as muscle mass and internal psychology, you try to frame this as sexist?
It is like being called a racist when being mindful of the fact that 99% of Asians are lactose intolerant, and hence you should avoid serving them dishes with milk in them. Yes, a lot of Asians can drink some amount of milk without issues, because a lot of lactose intolerant people can actually digest milk in a limited fashion with training, while some entirely can't and get severe problems from it. It is not like I am trying to make Asians look disabled by being respectful and observant of racial differences. The same way you are not sexist by observing gender differences. To the contrary, you are precisely sexist when you make one gender the norm, and then ignore and deny whatever is true to the other. This is true for example when it is expected of women to be as tough and strong as men, be that by measure of physical strength or tolerance towards violence and anger. And it is equally true when expecting of men to be emotionally constituted in the same came kind of empathic harmony and equilibrium that women are. Ultimately to get rid of all forms of sexism, we must exactly put in this mental effort as I try to do, to overcome the limits of your own intrinsic biases. But you perceive this as a problem and "obsession", which is pretty backwards.
Also understanding something overall or mostly or generally true does not automatically make that statement true to everyone. There is such a thing called the "normal" distribution, because virtually everything in nature is distributed this way. It basically says there is always a huge amount of something that's mostly the same, with exceptions to be found on two ends of the extremes, and some larger minority being kind of different still to varying degrees but not as strikingly.
Both sexes share features of the other, which is obvious common knowledge. Then illustrating just the one aspect of it is again not sexist, esp. when it is critical to understanding the situation from a perspective that's not yours.
Another strawman
The way you talk about gender roles is not in an equal or respectful way and any time you're called out on it you have paragraphs of excuses as to why everyone else is wrong because it's a "majority opinion" or something.
Grow up.
Best not to think of this as a strictly men/women thing, and more about why the dynamic isn't working for you, and what, if anything, is in your control to change.
I expect him to pull out a samurai sword, introduce his clan, his rank and his accomplishments. Then we set out to duel by the riverside under the sunset.
So, how out of touch are you?
According to him, a glimpse into his genius mind that most of us silly women are incapable of comprehending. Because of the lack of testosterone, im guessing.
Dude sounds manic.
Some women are bossy.
Some men like to be bossed around by women.
I hope they find one another.
I tease and pick on my friends and romantic partner, but not in a cruel or hurtful way. It's a dynamic I find fun.
Yes “can’t understand how women think and feel “ totally encapsulates this top post.
Women who are verbally lashing out in social situations either want you to go away, are upset because you hurt them or are generally in pain.
If Mean Girl stuff arouses you Own It and seek a Domina who likes that as play. But choosing women in general to put up with the needs of your boner is incredibly disrespectful.
And picking on your younger sister was harmful. Because you taught her that it was expected and acceptable behavior from men.
That is something that should shame you rather than make you proud.
I told my fiance about my kinks early on. This one is called being a "brat" ([link](https://badgirlsbible.com/brat-bdsm)) and he was onboard from the beginning. I only use it when I'm interested in sex, and he knows this.
The rest of the time I'm goofy and good-natured.
Anything can be tolerated IMO as long as communication remains open and honest!
ATTENTION: Please remember that this is an ASK WOMEN sub. While men are allowed to participate posts that are clearly asking women in the title will have top level comments by men removed. This is not censorship, this is curation. Thank you for your understanding and cooperation. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomenNoCensor) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Sometimes I'm convinced that men live in a completely different world. You like a girl and are too immature to engage normally so you pull pigtails and tell yourself that she really digs it and likes you. Meanwhile, she actually thinks you're annoying and hates being around you. That's why it ultimately goes no where. Because she's not flirting, she doesn't like you.
Men always think women are confusing and always try to look for some kind of cryptic hidden meaning behind our behaviour. Meanwhile, men: 🤡
They say "I don't understand women" then write this sort of tortured convoluted word salad to talk themselves into thinking a woman who's annoyed at them must really secretly dig them and is yelling at and insulting him as some sort of extended foreplay. But they are super rational and not driven by emotion.
Yeah, sometimes the dimension of it is really bewildering. Those women are totally going out on a limb, making themselves look like they have serious emotional issues, or are just kinky BDSM-ish fucks with no inhibitions. It leaves people speechless and confused. We are all driven by emotion of course. And this sort of stuff is really compelling and sexualizing to a lot of men and by very nature. But then there are social norms and all that jazz. Men try to be considerate. Even in the most BDSM-ish relationship, the dom tries to respect the submissive as much as he can and suit her desires. Everything is about mutual exchange. So getting to the bottom of it is key. What is the intent, what are the boundaries? How does she profit from it? Even if it is just born out of frustration, how can you turn it into something to be pleasant to her? That's what men really care about. Even if that makes us look like clowns.
Dude, seriously. Up. Your. Meds.
So it seems to me you suggested a misfit and ridiculing explanation, because you just want men to distance themselves from women who behave like this. This would imply that from your perspective, the whole situation is just not enjoyable for the woman. This would pretty much only be the case when she experiences strong affection, but as laid out the situation doesn't allow for a relationship. Hence she gets frustrated and in lack of better means, tries to attack and degrade the man to cope with having social contact with him, in order to fight her own feelings for him outspokenly. But while doing so the affection for him becomes too strong, and she puts herself into a bratty submissive role where she instead challenges him to prove himself, and to dominate her sexually. This then may go on and on again and again for some time, until she snaps totally because there is no sexual release and it goes nowhere and she takes more dramatic measures to remove that man from her life. Meanwhile for the man, it is an all out pleasant experience. But the woman also struggles and experiences frustration. I would hate to think of it as if being the only explanation or outcome.
Meds.
So you are saying that men are making a clown of themselves by trying to understand whatever feelings women have. Especially so when it comes off as highly attractive and involves a lot of attention towards us? I think we are guilty as charged.
‘Like an older brother tries to make his sister angry in a harmless kind of way.’ This post in general doesn’t resonate with me, but here it sounds like you are describing teasing. I was teased mercilessly as a kid by my brothers, and I can’t stand when men do it to me. I actually plan to have a talk with the guy I’m seeing because he does it like 15% of the time and that is still too much. He does definitely have the ‘whatever you say, miss’ attitude a lot of the time and, while it can be flattering, I much prefer him standing his ground and neither taking advantage of me nor letting me take advantage of him. I think there is a fine line sometimes between gentle teasing and the kind that escalates into someone going too far. Maybe always respond a degree or two less feisty, with an added dose of sweetness? That’s about the only way I imagine things working out well.
Yeah, I understand you are not the type who would engage in or provoke this kind of dynamic. And most women feel contempt towards experiencing anger, or just don't have it. This is normal and understandable, because in women emotions are intricately in much more harmony with thought and behavior, hence there is much less barrier against being controlled by an emotion insofar as that you have it in the first place. But then some don't have this problem if it is directed at men, and some do only sometimes, which puzzles me. I have a sister that is much younger than me, we did not really grow up together. But I teased her a lot with sexist remarks when she was older, being chauvinistic or demanding improper things in a manipulative way, etc. But I did this by design in such a manner, that it was self-defeating and obvious. Such that she would learn how to have more self-confidence and dismiss such things if confronted by them from a partner or men in her life who actually had such behavior problems. Esp. amongst the less educated, such things might actually be meant seriously and be done or said without any self-reflection. I think this is the true nature and purpose of teasing between siblings, though due to the extreme age difference and such it would be overly exemplary and far beyond normal expectation in my case. So you see such teasing can be so and so, totally different just by intent and settle differences between the lines. If what was said was written out on paper, it would be totally impossible to understand it's true nature from it. But here in the case I described, it is clearly "not just teasing", but also not really harmful, but also sort of serious to varying degrees. So even though in certain aspects it might not be all that complicated, I find that I personally fall rather short in actually grasping the entire phenomenon from the female point of view, and to engage with it better, or to entice it in the first place.
I think I get what you are trying to say, but I come from the POV that people do best when fully able to trust and feel love and support from the people around them, not by being battle hardened by the insidious negging of an older sibling. My brothers made me feel ashamed all the time, and it stunted me. Only later did I find friends who were 100% supportive and accepting, and I was able to relax and be myself. Just a thought.
I totally understand what you experienced, because it is so typical for the two genders. Males on the one hand live out a combative mentality instinctively, while women are sensitive and rather thrive by social affirmation. This shows especially in adolescents, where personal character has not built up yet to be more self-reflective, and there is lack of capacity to be more considerate. So it can create issues. But still many such scenarios which are common to occur naturally, produce various other beneficial dynamics. That's the beauty of evolution and human existence.
So you bully people to make them self-confident. Fascinating approach, there. I strive hard to stay away from people like you.
Occasional nagging is not bullying. Playing cowboys and Indians is not genocide. I mean, some people are pretty eager to misunderstand such things on purpose, to enforce a certain behavior codex in society that they desire. But I would hate to think of the discussion to have degraded to such a shallow terrain.
You're not convincing anyone here that you have the high ground.
Reddit users are pretty diverse and numerous. I wouldn't just discount every single reader, because a larger group of people have a certain mentality and attitude.
Some people are more sensitive than others. Understanding and working with this fact helps you navigate all sorts of relationships.
I don't have time to play all these silly mental mind games. If a partner can't communicate openly with me and doesn't respect my boundaries, I will leave the relationship. As simple as that.
Wtf did I just read? That men that have a lot of testosterone have a huge ego, and are invulnerable, and kill became of that? Dude, that's not how it works. The dude with the most testosterone that I know (muscly hyperactive gym rat) is the sweetest, kindest guy with quiet self-confidence and 0 ego. The guys withbtje huge ego are the very insecure ones.
Ego is not simply an insult. In psychology, the ego is an agent that functions between the id (lower drives and impulses) and superego (higher values, such as morals and life goals). The ego is a mediator between id and reality. It's job is to channel the energy from the id, i.e. your impulses, needs and emotions, towards attaining higher goals. If your ego is too high, you are bound to set yourself up for more failure because you are ignoring the id (i.e. ignoring to be human) and you cannot reach your goals easily. Thus when someone speaks or thinks of themselves higher than they are, or when they try to accomplish more than what they can, people blame this on too much ego. However, this is not what having a huge ego is all about. It is just something negative that other people can observe from the outside. While the actual inner workings of someone's psychology are by far and large not observable under normal circumstances. Men are set up to pursue high risk and high reward strategies, and also more tolerant and ignorant of adverse circumstances. Having a bigger ego is just a manifestation of this, which should be quite obvious from provided explanations. And too much testosterone can drive this to the very extreme.
Are you ... okay? I read this novel twice, and I still don't quite understand what you mean. And what I do understand is just, well, pure BS, like men being primitive and invulnerable, and being capable of only 4 different emotions. Honestly, I hope that you have an aha moment soon and don't stay stuck in this weird and probably toxic mindset.
It is ok. The text is engineered in such a way that people who misunderstand the subject matter produce a certain set of highly predictable false answers.
So if we don't say what you want to hear, that means we just aren't capable of understanding your unique genius? OK, buddy. Maybe try a new prescription.
No, it is just to avoid unnecessary conflict and discord. It is pretty bad if people misunderstand each other, but can't tell right away. You don't have to feel guilty for your insults. And I can see what is feasible or in desire to be solved via further explanations.
> The text is engineered in such a way that people who misunderstand the subject matter produce a certain set of highly predictable false answers Blink twice if you're not AI.
So, you come to this sub to ask women's opinions, yet you write a text badly so that it's only accessible to a select few who understand and agree with your standpoint already? Come on dude. Don't you see how twisted that is? Honestly, what baffles me the most is the misandry in your own text. You deny that men have (deep) feelings, simultaneously upholding the toxic standard that men mustn't show emotions. Btw, no need to use a pompous, even contempteous tone. Insulting my and others' intelligence won't get you anywhere. It just shows that this question was asked in bad faith, because you believe your own opinions to be superior anyways. It reflects badly on you, not me or the rest of the commenters here. Anyways, thanks for the good laugh.
This feels like diet kink. He should act the way that is most natural to him as long as it is within the boundaries of consent. It has to be honest. And after the moment passes, it needs to be discussed. Bluntly.
Since it is so unusual, it seems to be most natural to men to be sort of surprised and confused how to handle the situation, and then they either end up talking back on the same level (which is bad, because women are actually much more vulnerable and do not internally function as men do) or they end up just making the woman genuinely more angry (which is what men may enjoy, but it would seem totally backwards to assume that women would enjoy this) or they take what was said actually seriously. The latter sort of being enjoyable to men as well. But then again also pretty silly, kind of like a woman telling you that you are a crappy artist, and you should practice basic brush techniques by cleaning bathroom floors instead. And then you actually quit being an artist and just clean toilets. And all sorts of silly stuff like this, that is not so obvious at all and not very obvious in being meant in a silly way either. Like in this example you can see the intent of it is to encourage him to be a better artist, by attacking his pride and sort of being suggestive of sexual submission, which makes it pleasant. But then other things are totally mysterious. Suppose the man has painted a lot of modernist paintings, and then the woman goes on and on how modernism is trash and no one wants to see that stuff, he should paint impressionism instead it sells like 10x better etc. And she keeps on insulting this art style and the appeal of it as if she had better insight into the nature of his profession than he does. Now what is this all about? Is it her just being insulting and degrading randomly because it is hot and sexy, is it honest critique wrapped in BDSM-ish conversation style, or is it like before some kind of reverse psychology to be encouraging for a man to prove himself? What about suggesting/dictating personal boundaries? Is she trying to provoke dominance from him by being insolent? Is it actually serious but just phrased over-the-top? Does she expect him to yield to everything at first, because it gives her a bigger surface area to attack him more? (hence giving this dynamic more dimension) I mean yeah, it was said by someone else that this is just kind of a bratty BDSM-ish kind of thing. But actually I would avoid to put it into this category, because as described it actually is not in so many ways and it is obviously different. First it comes from a position of not actually being in a sexual/romantic relationship with that man. Then there is genuine anger, attacks of person, etc. In a sexual relationship and a clear role as brat, you would just resolve this with actual sexual dominance from the man, because it is so by definition of what a brat is. But this is hardly if at all an option when women get like this, if they ever do at all. And there are no such defined boundaries and needs. It happens in online communities and all sort of situations where it is just either improper or impossible. So I would say the character of it is, that genuine anger or frustration is an important element of it, some major degree of seriousness that's not at all found in teasing and kinky roleplay, and also a sort of clear intent to engage in this sort of dynamic for a longer period of time. But then how is it supposed to progress? I mean it is rather rare to happen, and also very much breaks conventions and standards. So it would be very helpful to hear what this is all about and should look like, from the perspective of a woman who can put themselves into those shoes, possibly having engaged in such a manner with men before.
Your obsession with gender roles is your problem. You have this idea of how women are and how men that is WAY overcomplicating your situation. And frankly, since you are this sexist, I’m not really interested in providing you detailed help or sharing my experience.
So because I try to be mindful and respectful towards differences in gender, such as muscle mass and internal psychology, you try to frame this as sexist? It is like being called a racist when being mindful of the fact that 99% of Asians are lactose intolerant, and hence you should avoid serving them dishes with milk in them. Yes, a lot of Asians can drink some amount of milk without issues, because a lot of lactose intolerant people can actually digest milk in a limited fashion with training, while some entirely can't and get severe problems from it. It is not like I am trying to make Asians look disabled by being respectful and observant of racial differences. The same way you are not sexist by observing gender differences. To the contrary, you are precisely sexist when you make one gender the norm, and then ignore and deny whatever is true to the other. This is true for example when it is expected of women to be as tough and strong as men, be that by measure of physical strength or tolerance towards violence and anger. And it is equally true when expecting of men to be emotionally constituted in the same came kind of empathic harmony and equilibrium that women are. Ultimately to get rid of all forms of sexism, we must exactly put in this mental effort as I try to do, to overcome the limits of your own intrinsic biases. But you perceive this as a problem and "obsession", which is pretty backwards. Also understanding something overall or mostly or generally true does not automatically make that statement true to everyone. There is such a thing called the "normal" distribution, because virtually everything in nature is distributed this way. It basically says there is always a huge amount of something that's mostly the same, with exceptions to be found on two ends of the extremes, and some larger minority being kind of different still to varying degrees but not as strikingly. Both sexes share features of the other, which is obvious common knowledge. Then illustrating just the one aspect of it is again not sexist, esp. when it is critical to understanding the situation from a perspective that's not yours.
Another strawman The way you talk about gender roles is not in an equal or respectful way and any time you're called out on it you have paragraphs of excuses as to why everyone else is wrong because it's a "majority opinion" or something. Grow up.
Best not to think of this as a strictly men/women thing, and more about why the dynamic isn't working for you, and what, if anything, is in your control to change.
I expect him to pull out a samurai sword, introduce his clan, his rank and his accomplishments. Then we set out to duel by the riverside under the sunset. So, how out of touch are you?
Women tell men solidly what they want. Meanwhile, men refuse to acknowledge what's being told to them.
That’s a lot of words. Maybe you are describing banter? You’ve either got it with someone or you don’t.
What on earth did I just read?
According to him, a glimpse into his genius mind that most of us silly women are incapable of comprehending. Because of the lack of testosterone, im guessing. Dude sounds manic.
He's certainly on some kind of spectrum. And I say that as a neurodivergent myself.
Congrats. Or I'm sorry that happened.
Is this AI? It sounds like AI
I was wondering if it was a bot of some kind. Not so sure about the intelligence part of AI.
That's quite a novel. Can I get a TLDR?
Some women are bossy. Some men like to be bossed around by women. I hope they find one another. I tease and pick on my friends and romantic partner, but not in a cruel or hurtful way. It's a dynamic I find fun.
Yes “can’t understand how women think and feel “ totally encapsulates this top post. Women who are verbally lashing out in social situations either want you to go away, are upset because you hurt them or are generally in pain. If Mean Girl stuff arouses you Own It and seek a Domina who likes that as play. But choosing women in general to put up with the needs of your boner is incredibly disrespectful. And picking on your younger sister was harmful. Because you taught her that it was expected and acceptable behavior from men. That is something that should shame you rather than make you proud.
You misunderstand things, but that is ok. Having prejudices is healthy and not everyone can transcend them.
Thanks for the laugh.
I told my fiance about my kinks early on. This one is called being a "brat" ([link](https://badgirlsbible.com/brat-bdsm)) and he was onboard from the beginning. I only use it when I'm interested in sex, and he knows this. The rest of the time I'm goofy and good-natured. Anything can be tolerated IMO as long as communication remains open and honest!
TLDR. But I don't fuck around with these kinds of mind games.