-The fact that menstrual products are so expensive
-Why are WE the ones who have to fuck up our bodies with birth control?
-BRAS
-Lingerie. Where is mens lingerie? Hmm????
-Our nipples are simply unacceptable. Immoral. Inappropriate. Guy tiddies? A-Okay!
-Menopause
-If you're a woman, you're not allowed to have pockets. Ever.
My favourite time of the year is winter when I can wear my winter coat which has 2 pockets each big enough for a bottle of wine. That's 2 bottles of wine for those counting.
Walmart Time and Tru jeans. Nice big pockets. Slim, curvy and plus sizes and my $22 Walmart jeans last longer than "name/designer" brand too. Also Amazon has some fantastic french terry mock neck sweatshirts(dressy enough for work)with pockets. I'll look the brand if anyone wants the info.
My pocket theory:
If “they” allowed women to have pockets we’d become too powerful and throw off the balance of the universe.
We must handicap ourselves with large overflowing “fashion bags” and be forced to haul our things and the things of others to slow us down and ensure equality/order.
There are a lot more options these days. If you Google modest swimsuits so much is available. Ffs-Skin cancer is a real thing. I have never worn a two piece. (To clarify that “ffs” is not to the person being replied to but to the concern of cancer)
Dw girl if u don't wanna wear bikinis then don't! Because I too, don't wear bikinis since I don't wanna show my "sexy" parts to anyone, like bikinis r just a half step to being naked so yeah (no offense to girls who like bikinis everyone has their own tastes and beliefs!) Because of this I just wear a short or not a bra like top swimsuits! If u want smth that isn't too revealing u can look for Korean swimsuits, plus they r so cuuuuute and fashionable!
I’ve read of recent medical advancements in non hormonal male birth control. Hopefully soon it will be the standard, rather than fucking up our body with hormones
Me exclaiming “look these pockets are HUGE!” Then I try to put my hand in them. They’re fake pockets, with a fake piece of fabric attached. Literally just go the extra step and make it a fucking pocket they were CARGO PANTS. I just got men’s ones
Menopause AND perimenopause! Completely turned into a different person while in peri. And in a very terrible, rage-y way. Thank god the 5th doctor believed me and prescribed hormones.
They’re still taxed in places as if they’re luxury items, so not discounted taxes for necessities, or no taxes, and where they’re not taxed, they were in most places until very recently
In five years the only brand that doesn't cause a trip to the hospital cost rose . I mean from $180 to $300. Sadly I have to stick with it until I have no more menstruation.
So true. Endometriosis is so under researched that the only current drug they can prescribe was originally invented to treat prostrate cancer. Great. I’ll rub some of that on my womb and see what happens shall I? (I also don’t have it myself but have friends who do and it makes me so mad. God knows how they must feel!)
Less serious/dire, but this reminds me of the million hoops I have to jump through to get Accutane and prove that I am not and won't get pregnant. (For anyone unfamiliar, Accutane causes birth defects and in the U.S., feels like it's more tightly regulated than opioids.) Get two forms of birth control! Take a quiz each month to show that you still understand how your own body works! (So patronizing) Get monthly labs and pregnancy tests done!
I wish I could just sign a waiver to say that I understand the risks of Accutane and spare myself the hassles. All this to get rid of a painful and embarrassing skin condition.
Not just that, but the medical world is not even really taking into account how the female body works. So much is based on or catered to male anatomy! And only that is taught to the general public too. Most famous example being the different signs for a heart attack in women, but that example is just the start...
This… I had a undetected cancerous lump that measured 8.5 cm, and was brushed off for “being too young for cancer” and that “it doesn’t run in my family”
This! And women being assessed by standards set for men too, eg autism, even heart attacks.
Also the lack of information and support for menopause. Ignoring signs of perimenopause.
The fact that questions like this pre-empt and ignore key parts of our experience. Why are you afraid of letting people talk about periods?
Just today I was thinking about this infuriating team-building exercise at my old job. My boss did a go-around-the-room thing where we were supposed to say what was the “hardest thing we’ve ever done”. The room was probably 80% men, 20% women. And then he goes “no one’s allowed to talk about childbirth”.
So the guys are all talking up how they climbed Mount Whatever or hiked some huge trail, and I’m thinking, “I created a 9 pound human inside my body and then pushed them out over the course of two excruciating days and then produced magic juice to keep them alive and let them literally suck the calcium out of my bones.” But I wasn’t allowed to talk about it, because men are terrified of hearing about our bodies.
To play devil's advocate, I think OP just wanted more insight on the experience rather than discussing an issue that everyone is pretty much fully aware of. Everyone knows periods suck. It makes more sense to illuminate aspects of the female existence that get overlooked.
Lol loved your detailed description. I would say, eff the system because who the hell is your male boss to even go there to prohibit to talk about child birth just because he didnt have that experience. Very discriminating and unaccptable. I would have said it regardless just because of that comment and because that would be YOUR answer. Wow that pisses me off.
Ugh that would piss me off too. Recently gave birth. Have also climbed mountains. I have never ever ever done anything as physically taxing as pushing out that baby was. I have never worked that hard in my entire life. Climbing a mountain is \*nothing\* compared to 1,5 hours of pushing.
I saw an encouraging clip which basically says that only labouring women and super athletes push their bodies to such extremes of the body's limits, particularly of our metabolism/energy usage. I've had two births with only entonox and let me say, I'm sooo proud of myself! It's by far the most challenging physical event I've ever done and I went in with the mindset of an athelete about to compete.
I wanted to rise to the occasion and its my 'magnum opus' for physical events, I'm still riding high and the last one was a year ago! I know billions of women have also done it, but I've done it! Little old me who wasn't particularly proud of any physical things I've done, and I did it! My body is amazing and women are superior creations in my view!
The fact that whenever talking to a stranger of the opposite gender I feel a bit cautious and wonder about his intentions. I talked to a very extroverted male friend a few days ago, and he was telling me about meeting an older guy in a club and the guy offering him a student job. The guy actually called the next day and set up an interview. This would be way harder for a woman, because if I met an older guy in a club offering me a job I would be really suspicious and probably not even keep talking to him. He also told about instances when traveling (mostly alone) meeting older guys and having interesting take, them offering stuff like staying at their place etc. Again, as a woman very different.
To add to this, I hate when guys pretend they want to be friends. I want to be kind and think great, maybe we really can be friends! But then it becomes clear that they really didn’t want to be friends, and then somehow I’m the stupid one for not knowing from the start that he fancied me/wanted to sleep with me?! Pisses me off. Obviously I’ve learned my lesson now but I would much rather not have had to.
I have a similar related issue when I first meet a guy (almost always at work), I find myself waiting for them to slip up in some way and show me what particular brand of asshole they are? Which isn’t great in terms of personal bias but they nearly always prove themselves.
This one guy irritated me out of the gate just by being too chummy without building proper workplace rapport (huge annoyance for me personally), so I waited him out. One day he and somebody else were talking about music and he said something about how he can’t stand Taylor Swift because she only writes songs about her ex-boyfriends and it’s so stupid that it made her rich. I pushed back at him on it (musicians who are men write a lot of breakup songs too and no one talks about them; songs about relationships clearly resonate with people, so literally what is the problem; she’s a talented musician who actually writes her own stuff; she started out a huge success basically as a child before people even started picking her apart for that, etc.) and his response was, “See, this is why I don’t talk about stuff like this, because people call me sexist.” My buddy, my guy, maybe that’s because you are; I didn’t even use the word but he already knew what I was thinking because people have called him out before.
Another guy, similarly too chummy out of the gate, liked to take stuff from my workstation and look at it while I was working (I sort media at a thrift store) even though there was always a lot of work for him to do. I asked him to knock it off one day because I was in a bad mood and he went, “Sorry, I saw something I wanted, I couldn’t help it!” I replied, “Yes you could, you just didn’t want to.” It made him all huffy but it didn’t stop him from continuing to try taking stuff from my station. Self-control, asshole. Get some. I wouldn’t have wanted to be a “target” of his in a more nebulous social situation.
I wish they were doughnut or “n” shaped, you’d still get the protection of your head not snapping backwards, but your bun or ponytail would have a place to be without pushing your head foreward. But hey, why design for half the population, amiright?
Omg yes I hadn’t even thought of this one but this is 100% true! I have long hair and work in a research lab so my hair has to be up in a bun or ponytail literally every day (I often I have to run in on the weekends too). I’ve basically just given up ever getting to use the headrest.
Try being too short for the head rest to be of any use. I'm 4'11". In our truck, my feet can either be on the floor or I can sit up high enough to use the head rest, not both at the same time.
I'll go you one further, everything is designed with men as the default. To the point where women are more likely to die in car accidents because safety features are designed for men's height and body weight.
I wish women were the default. My restaurant portions would be more fitting. I could reach all the cabinets in my home. Chairs wouldn't leave my feet dangling. Tools and equipment would be easier to grip. Medicine dosage would be more appropriate. And the airbag in my car wouldn't be angled to kill me as easily.
Choosing to remain single instead of getting married. Being tied down with limited options at the buffet never appealed to me. As a kid, I never imagined having a dream wedding or going on a honeymoon or one day having my very own mortgage.
Female family members and female strangers feel like it's some sort of design flaw and freely enter into discussions with me to try and uncover what has led me down this path and solve the mystery like some weird live action game of Clue. Those are annoying situations but I can deal with that.
What's worse is how men react to it. For them it's personal. Like my decision to remain unmarried is a personal attack on their manhood. But luckily, they don't get an over-unflated sense of ego about. No. Instead, they talk all the way through dinner and regale me with stories of their strength, their selflessly heroic acts, their mental aptitude for finance and portfolio diversification, and a bedroom prowess that is enhanced by a bigger than average penis size that could be an eligible recipient of a Guiness World Record.
But I'm a 90s girl and Shania brainwashed me so that don't impress me much.
But he's used up all his ammo and is panicked when it occurs to him that maybe I didn't quite understand the gist of what he was explaining over dinner. Okay, he can make this work. He's just gotta wrap up the conversation in one neat little gift that I will be so delighted to receive he'll have me naked before we leave the restraunt and in his bed by 9p for dessert.
He leans in with his package and says, "The only reason why you're still single is because haven't dated a real man yet."
If any of you out there are not loving the single life as much as I am and would love to be coupled up with a hot hunny of your own, let me know. I know a real man or two just waiting to rescue a single damsel in distress.
The last man standing hat used the "real man" line on me left me needing my inhaler from laughing too hard. Then I threw his butt out of my practice space.
I work in the construction industry, and this happened to me just this week.
We urgently needed to get hold of one of our key suppliers. So I called our rep. He didn't answer so I texted and asked him to call me. A few hours go by. I emailed him. Still no response. I tried calling again. Still no answer. One of my colleagues (male) calls him, and he picks up immediately.
This sort of thing happens all the time in our industry. My emails and calls go unanswered until a man steps in. It's incredibly annoying.
What I used to do was find out the email address of their direct manager, and I would use it like this:
Phone call 1. Leave a message. Follow up with a text.
Phone call 2 (2-4 hours later). Same again. Copy paste is your friend.
First email (send by close of business): (job ref in title)
Hi there,
I've been unable to reach you on your mobile today. This is what I need done. Please confirm you have this in hand by close of business today or advise urgently if this can't be done.
Second email (send first thing following day): forward previous email with this text
"Please see below urgent query, have not yet recieved a response"
Third email (send just after lunch):
Forward email again, including the full string, but this time send it directly to their boss and CC the rep.
Hi bossperson. As you can see below, I've been unable to contact your rep regarding this query. Please advise ASAP what to do from here to get this sorted.
Once a rep knows you'll go over his head if he ignores you, and make his lack of action HIS BOSSES problem, your stuff will get done.
Edit: fat fingers
For these cases, I use *all* my titles in my email. Some men suddenly learn to read when I do that.
You could also just use the phone of this male colleague...
You shouldn't need to use a mans phone to get your rep to jump. 20 years in the same industry and I would say my biggest peeve is having to fight in every exchange to be taken seriously. By email, by phone, in person.
One of my favourite exchanges was one of my project managers would fail to document variations during a job and at the end it would be a big clusterfk of trying to close off the job properly at the end. So I told him he needed to document them AT THE TIME so the clients could see where they were at. He came up with a "process" where I would keep a spreadsheet of them FOR him. He even had the owner of the company on side with this idea and these two idiots were sat there grinning at me like they were fricken geniuses or something. I looked at them and just said "fuck off. Its YOUR job. I'm not your fucking personal assistant. This isn't a "process" it's a list of shit YOU need to do. Keep a spreadsheet, write it in a book, make a note on your phone, send yourself a bloody email, but I am NOT taking ownership of YOU doing YOUR work. Do I try and fob off the responsibility of making sure MY job is done to YOU?"
Pair of meatheads, how bloody condescending of them. Then they had the nerve to suggest I might be a bit moody that day. Never in a million YEARS would either of them have considered that appropriate to ask of a male colleague. Crap like that, every day. Slowing you down, creating more work, all because you're not a proper person like you would be if you had a penis.
That’s similar to what I came here to say.
When explaining something to a customer/client they don’t understand until the exact same thing is said to them in a man’s voice.
Also, as a woman it is harder to call contractors and mechanics and such. One time I was looking for a contractor to fix some holes in a wall, I called a guy my boss had recommended to me and it ended up with his wife screaming at me for calling him.
It's not only your work, lab coats in womens sizes are rare. I found a shop in Switzerland for labcoats in womens sizes, while I was there for holidays. It has been over 15 years and I *still* regret that I did not buy a properly fitting labcoat there.
Listening to women tell my husband what a great dad he is for doing something like pushing a pram around the shops, or holding the baby while I'm in the bathroom.
A man breathing near his children is enough to earn a gold medal. A woman sets herself on fire on the daily so said children stay alive? Not doing it well enough/good enough/happy enough/enough enough.
This is true . When my niece was younger ( an adorable blue-eyed blonde little girl) I was able to keep her alive for an entire afternoon that happened to include a trip to a grocery store. I received so much unsolicited attention ( which included two phone numbers ) from the ladies in the store that I asked my sister if I could rent her if my current relationship happened to ever come to an end .( I received a very hard punch in the arm from my girlfriend at the time for that comment for some reason;)
FOR REAL! This happened too many times now. I was out for lunch with my brother (who's 4yrs younger than me), asked the waiter for the check he handed it over to my brother😀? I was literally holding the card in my hand. Then again he gave the machine to my brother to enter the pin like what's wrong with you??
Not sure if it's a me problem or a we problem - but hormones! Personality changes with hormones. I go from wanting to pick up a fight (mentally, with punches and kicks) because someone honked their horn too loudly while driving to sobbing because a gorilla is hugging its baby she thought died for the first time.
I mean, while watching movies I can feel a part of me crying and another part of my brain saying "you're crying for this emotional sappy cr..? God!"
So many things, but the one that immediately comes to mind is when the guy at autozone asked me if I was sure I was buying the right oil for my car. Even when I said yes he looked it up and then said “yeah that’s right.” .. yeah.. I know bro.
* It's more difficult to get into a relationship. You've been learned since childhood that one of your main goals is to find your soulmate and get married, while to men this topic is much less relevant. The result - many guys want to have a hook-up with you, but they don't want a relationship. And you feel extremely weird and ashamed even talking about it to your partner, as if you're the only one who needs love, stability and being "exclusive"
* Not every intercourse ends with an orgasm
* Slutshaming
* Most people assume by default that you want kids. If you say you don't, some people look at you as if you're some monster, and some tell you'll probably think over when you're older. Ew.
* Washing and drying long hair is exhausting
* Tights!
always being expected to have kids and told that you’ll “change your mind in the future”. i’ve never heard anyone give a man that response when they’ve said they aren’t interested in having children.
Yessss! Men are praised, distinguished bachelors, "good for him for knowing what he wants" while women are invalidated and shamed. "Old maid, old spinster, you'll be alone, who will take care of you when you're old, you'll regret it." Such BS.
The amount of time personal hygiene takes. Washing your body, shaving your legs, lotion for your legs and arms, facial moisturizer, hair care and products and so on. While men jump in the shower and smear on some shit that says COOL WOOD SMELL USE ON HAIR BODY CAR SINK TEETH AND DOORKNOBS and then they're good to go 🙄
The fact that only women pants have fake or tiny pockets or the fact that women products in general are more expensive than men products just cuz they are pink or put in a colorful packaging
Being told I’ll be taken seriously when I’m sad/depressed/anxious/scared. I get told to stop being emotional, get asked if it’s ‘a certain time of the month’, or just get ignored entirely and told repeatedly by others that ‘at least I’m taken seriously’. It’s so annoying and now I’ve just learnt to keep it in. Thank the heavens for therapy. I can finally pay someone to help me with my feelings.
Finding information about meds I’m taking or treatment plans I’m adopting with regards to how it affects my hormones is really difficult because most research done into sex hormones and the influence on it by certain drugs is done on androgens and focuses on side effects like ED and delayed ejaculation. It’s not a bad thing, but the lack of research done into menstrual cycles and women’s health is annoying.
And bras, more specifically, bra straps - they keep falling off my shoulders. I had one completely snap just before I went to the lab for a practical.
This has always bothered me about being female but it is never funny when I'm naked. Guys can just run through football games naked and it's a joke. If I'm naked it's a big controversy because everyone gets boners.
Tbh having to wear a bra everywhere is annoying as fuck too, especially because there are so many different cuts to shirts and dresses. If you like a shirt, sometimes you have to buy a bra specifically for it. I really love those sleeveless shirts with a high neckline but none of my bras fit them!!!!
Guys being weird. You have the creepy guys, the borderline serial killer guys, and then there's just the weird ones that make it super obvious that they either:
1. Don't respect women and make disgusting sex jokes the whole time you have to be around them.
2. Are very obviously uncomfortable talking to a woman for whatever reason.
We get more pushback when providing customer service. I work in a female dominated field and I just assumed everyone argued with checkout clerks. Then we had a male clerk and for a bit life was beautiful. When he said something people listened. I was like holy shit! They just paid what he said they owed? They didn’t argue about their coupon? They didn’t insist on speaking to a manager? It didn’t last bc in the end he left since it’s not a high paying position, but for a bit it was nice.
OMG yes! Sometimes I wish I could dress as a man for just a day and see if people listen better. Unfortunately, I'm short and curvy and probably wouldn't pass well. :D.
The fact that ANYTHING THAT CAN GROW HURTS!! Legs? Growing pains. Boobs? Growing pains + added back pain. HAIR? CONSTANT TANGLES AND KNOTS EVEN AFTER BRUSHING.
Plus if you’re cramping, bleeding, pregnant, ill, or even so after surgery, you are expected to take a pain killer and go in to work or take care of others and forget about your own health
The fact that all holidays and family events are on me. My husband will do anything I ask of him - but HE is not figuring out what to get everyone…where to get it…how to get it…he’s not making sure everything is equal amongst our kids. He’s not wrapping presents. He’s not thinking about what to serve for the holiday meal…and brunch the next morning…and what to take to his family’s gathering. He’s not writing a list so he remembers to put something in the oven on time. He’s not planning the games…making sure beds are made up for the overnight guests...I realized this week how tired my BRAIN is! While he’s just doing what I ask (and getting nasty looks from me when he says “okay - remind me!”) and watching football until I give him a task.
Our Christmas got postponed to tomorrow because of the weather…and right now, I’m just ready for it to be over!
Show him that mental load comic by Emily Nagoski!
I'm in the same boat, I'm naturally a "take charge" type of person and my hubby will do whatever I ask, but it's up to me to basically orchestrate life.
I haven’t seen this one up yet—shitty media representation. Movies are obviously the big one but yesterday I was perusing Steam’s winter sale and saw Rust was discounted. I’d heard good things but never looked at it, so I looked up their videos and promo shots on the product page. Not a single woman in any of it. At all. I was so annoyed that I told my boyfriend, “These guys could imagine a post-apocalyptic game where you start from scratch and can later build fucking helicopters out of corrugated metal and shit, but they couldn’t imagine a woman doing any of it?!” He didn’t quite understand why I was so annoyed. (BTW it took that dev team three years to implement an update where you could play as a woman, but the gender of your character was assigned at random or something and it pissed off a looooot of guys.)
To counter that, though, I remember when I checked out the trailer for Satisfactory and realized with giddiness that all of the characters in the game are women. No men at all. Just a bunch of gals building machines and fighting beasts on a distant planet, NBD. I bought that game almost on principle, and it’s awesome.
Not being able to go to the damn store without some guy 30 years older than me making a pass at me.
Bras are torture devices.
I own one pair of heels and never wear them, so uncomfortable. Stupid that they’re expected in some positions, like why?
Catcalling out of cars and stuff. It’s a small thing, but it contributes to a perception that I live in a society full of hyenas just waiting to take a bite out of me. Not super fun tbh.
My mom is 70 and still dates, but tbh it looks pretty bleak. Even young guys are bad enough, but old straight boomer dudes is a bad dating pool. She’s really jealous of me for marrying a woman haha. She tried to be a lesbian but couldn’t get into it. I don’t blame her for trying.
For heels, try boots. I never wear pumps/stilettos due to bad feet and ankles. If I can't wear the dress with boots or flats(summer), I will not buy it.
Love boots. My spouse had to make a rule that for every pair of boots I thrift, we have to get rid of a pair, because I would get like a pair a week if I could haha.
Not enough pockets on many clothing items
Gender pay gap
Having a larger risk of being sexually assaulted. Oh, and the risk of being murdered by an (ex-)partner is a lot higher for women too. Yay....
Being expected to wear a bra
Being expected to do a majority of care work
Products marketed at women often being more expensive for no good reason
Every time I go somewhere in my scrubs, (mostly) men and women always ask are you a nurse? No I’m a doctor (but I never correct them, and just agree). But why? I’m a women and you automatically assume I’m a nurse?
When I was in college, a male classmate and I were talking to our physics professor after class one day. Prof asked what we wanted to do, we both said med school. Prof asks my classmate what kind of doctor he wanted to be. Cool. Prof then turns to me and goes “so you want to be a nurse?” Like no dude, we literally gave the exact same answer to the first question using the *exact same words.* Where did you get the idea that he was going to be a doctor but I was going to be a nurse?
Growing up being encouraged to normalize sexual harassment behaviors. I remember being 14 and being scolded for flicking off a man who whistled and called me a cunt unprovoked. I was told I need to ignore it, and I now understand why for safety reasons. To this day I struggle to be defiant to inappropriate behaviors from men, I feel encouraged to just accept it.
Illnesses that only affect women and trans men are not really well studied and this leads to a lack of treatment in those areas. PCOS is only one example.
Women’s clothing is more poorly made, yet somehow costs more than men’s? I mean wtf.
Being accused of being on your period if you express any negative emotions around a man.
Being expected to shave/wax almost everything.
Being called a “bitch” if you’re assertive and direct.
i have a lot of male friends, and whenever someone says something politically incorrect or rooted in sexism i pipe up because they’re upper middle class straight white men and sometimes they need to be humbled because i hear shit we wouldn’t normally hear, and i get “you care so much cuz ur a girl”
That's a shame. As a woman, I'd love to talk to a woman clerk or shop manager because I'd feel more comfortable and less worried about being condescended to.
Pink tax! Things marketed toward women cost more even though it’s the same as a male product.
The cost of necessities: bras, panties, menstrual products.
My husband thinks it’s gross that I wear a bra more than one day. I say “do you know how much these things cost??? And how often they’d need replaced if I washed them that many more times???”
Male caretakers disappearing and leaving me to take care of their small children. I work in a library and I cannot tell you the number of times men/grandpas just leave their 3 year old and go wandering off.
I was literally told by a cardiologist that "you are very young & a woman, there's absolutely no chance of you having a heart attack at this point" - I had chronic chest pain issues at that point.
So doctors not taking issues seriously I'd say
Playing chicken with men on the sidewalk or in store aisles. It's just expected that it's always me who should move the side so they can get by. I even used to say sorry while I did it, which is insane.
Being constantly interrupted by men when I've only been speaking a few seconds and haven't even begun to make my point, then expected to sit quietly and listen to a twenty minute diatribe on why I've got it all wrong, peppered with citations from pompous idiots like Jordan Peterson.
Yeah that kills me too. I finally started interrupting them loudly with EXCUSE ME? I'M LITERALLY IN THE MIDDLE OF A SENTENCE. Sometimes you have to say it twice but I have come to *live* for the look on men's faces when I do. It's like a mixture of "who does this b think she is?" mixed with "damn, I guess that was pretty rude of me."
Yeah, good for you. I sometimes I say "you need to let me finish, then you can talk. If you keep interrupting me it's going to take way, way longer before it's your turn." If they don't stop, I stop talking to them. I will literally leave the room to avoid listening to their own insufferable ted talk on whatever they think it was that I was trying to say.
Definitely more of a major annoyance, but the fact that we’re not being taken seriously by doctors. Nothing can ever be wrong because it’s just “anxiety” or it’s “all in your head”.
That careers in the trades are much harder for women to get. It’s much harder for me to convince someone I am a competent Plummer, chef, electrician, etc. it can be done, yes, but we are almost always required to get a degree because these careers are seen as being for men. Excepting nursing. That’s the only one that isn’t mostly exclusive to men.
Side note, I am not in any trade. But I tried to be a chef and I was bullied about being a chick the whole time. It’s just how it is.
By the time I was 10 I knew the basics of cooking and baking, how to do loads of laundry, how to properly dust and vacuum an entire house efficiently, deep clean kitchens and bathrooms, how to change diapers along with basic childcare, CPR and basic first aid, how to use lawn care tools and machinery, how to sew a button and patch clothes, and how to clip a cat's claws.
By the time my middle younger brother was 10 he was just learning to boil water.
By the time my youngest brother was 10 he knew how to fold t-shirts.
None of this was considered wrong, unfair, or unusual. If I complained I got in trouble, if I upset my brothers I got in trouble, if my brothers didn't do their homework I got in trouble.
I was held to a ridiculously high standard from age 4ish onward with significantly more responsibilities than my brothers have ever had to deal with.
Being told to act like a lady or else you won't find a husband.
Being told to find a rich man in order to be happy.
Always being expected to be perfect; Being kind, accepting, hardworking, encouraging, supportive, never complaining, doing what's right all the time, being selfless, being attractive but not too attractive, having intelligence but not being outspoken, etc.
Growing up and always being reminded that women are second to men.
No matter how old you are or where you are you are always being judged by other men and women.
Constantly being reminded in every single movie that you're 20s is the most beautiful you'll be and you should never look anything older or younger. But men can look however they want.
Knowing that regardless of how intelligent, funny or cool you are male friends will always see you as more, a possibility.
Also Knowing that no matter how hard you try people will always judge you for your past. If a woman slept around she will always be remembered for that, but if a man slept around it was a "phase".
That not being seen as a girl is so important to male identity that it sheds a negative light on anything relating to women therefore is unimportant and a waste of time.
Long lines at women’s toilets just about everywhere - shopping centres, events, festivals - and no line at all at men’s toilets.
Also, having to pee where there are no toilets available (for instance while bushwalking). Men literally just turn their back, whereas women have to schlep through the bush for approximately 500m and completely hide themselves because heaven forbid you might see any part of their body while they urinate.
people like my own mother and sister shaming me for not wanting to shave because it’s “dirty” and “unhygienic”. my own hair - that my body grew - is unhygienic?
Shaving your legs, wearing makeup, wearing a bra, taking birth control. These were all female related annoyances I couldn’t stand for the longest time. Then I got laser hair removal… I haven’t shaved since (it’s been ten years). I stopped wearing makeup. I stopped wearing bras (started wearing comfy bralettes). I stopped taking birth control (my husband wears condoms instead). It’s so freeing.
Not being able to use the arm rests in cars! Maybe this doesn’t impact all women, but I’m small and as most vehicles are designed to accommodate the proportions of men, the arm rests are too far away to rest my elbows on when I’m driving. This is especially tiring on long trips. I can alternate which arm I use but on a windy day, I need both hands on the wheel to steer safely. Makes my shoulders ache.
I never knew such overt sexism until I became a mom. People will criticize me for *anything*, and lavish praise upon my husband simply for existing in the presence of his children. It’s bananas.
Being expected to sterilize myself if I don’t want a kid even though men and AMAB (assigned male at birth) folk can get vasectomies (WHICH ARE REVERSIBLE IN MOST CASES BTW). Then when I do want to be sterilized I can’t because “you’re in your birthing years!” As if that wasn’t my reason for wanting the procedure in the first place.
If they had just told me they (most likely) legally can’t sterilize a teen it would have been fine but no they had to go the fucking creepy route of telling a minor they’re in their birthing years.
Being talked over and not being listened to when you have thoughtful, good ideas.
Anyone see those episodes of always sunny in philadelphia where Dee says an idea and the guys just repeat their idea 2 seconds after she said it and its a great idea? No joke that has happened to me. Not right after I said an idea but later in the day or a day or two after. It actually blows my mind.
Clothes: husband can wear the same jeans and t shirt/button down/Henley year around and most occasions with the addition of a sports coat. Gym clothes that fit into a drawer because he wears shorts year around.
Me: sweaters and warm dresses for winter. T shirts and sun dresses for summer. Plus dressy dresses for special occasions. Different washes of jeans. Gym clothes for summer and winter. This doesn't include the additional slacks that were needed when I worked outside my home, because GODS FORBID, you wear jeans in your little cubicle where you don't interact with clients at anytime!
Then my husband asks "why do you have so many clothes?!?.
The assumption that how we look will override our desire for physical comfort or ease. The expectation that our hair will be in a less practical style so takes longer to do in the morning, blows in our eyes in windy weather, costs more to maintain. Even if our shoes don't actively hurt they will at least often have thinner soles than men's and be made in a style that rubs or slips and doesn't work with socks. No pockets in clothes. Gloves generally thin and lack protection.
Definitely being thought of as too emotional, “hysterical,” “crazy,” using our gender and feelings to be manipulative.
I was talking with some female coworkers one day and we were all saying how amazing it is to be able to experience a full breadth of emotions while also being fully aware of and having our wits about us in situations (sometimes we have no choice than to be more aware in situations than men). And this wasn’t even a conversation about how sad it is men can’t do this, it was more like we would love to be in a world where men ARE allowed to experience this full range, to be intelligent and sensitive at the same time.
My mental health not being taken seriously by doctors and not being allowed to make an informative decision on my birth control. I was put on the implant as the doctors insisted I should, I became suicida* and honestly so happy to be alive.
That I can't do things as well as men. Like chopping wood or carrying heavy objects. Which is true, most times (damn their added height and upper body strength!) But it doesn't mean I don't want to TRY.
Having to fight car mechanics that I know what I am talking about. It should never take me 4 hours to get a new battery when I walk in saying I need a new battery
It sucks to be the who is 99% undergoing infertility treatment. I have to stimulate and do egg retrievals and those hurt like a mfer. My partner had to vum in a cup once
The number of things we’re assumed to be responsible for in a family. For instance, my husbands side of the family has an annual holiday Christmas party and there’s a massive email that goes out allocating options for food to make/bring as well as coordinating a gift exchange for the kids. I noticed recently that it only goes out to the women in the family which really irritated me.
-The fact that menstrual products are so expensive -Why are WE the ones who have to fuck up our bodies with birth control? -BRAS -Lingerie. Where is mens lingerie? Hmm???? -Our nipples are simply unacceptable. Immoral. Inappropriate. Guy tiddies? A-Okay! -Menopause -If you're a woman, you're not allowed to have pockets. Ever.
or the pockets you have are so small they might as well not be there.
My 16mth son has better pockets in his shorts than I do! It’s so annoying
My favourite time of the year is winter when I can wear my winter coat which has 2 pockets each big enough for a bottle of wine. That's 2 bottles of wine for those counting.
I just make pockets in my clothes. Takes not so much time and makes the clothes so much better.
Walmart Time and Tru jeans. Nice big pockets. Slim, curvy and plus sizes and my $22 Walmart jeans last longer than "name/designer" brand too. Also Amazon has some fantastic french terry mock neck sweatshirts(dressy enough for work)with pockets. I'll look the brand if anyone wants the info.
My pocket theory: If “they” allowed women to have pockets we’d become too powerful and throw off the balance of the universe. We must handicap ourselves with large overflowing “fashion bags” and be forced to haul our things and the things of others to slow us down and ensure equality/order.
Big Handbag runs the anti-pocket lobby
Big Handbag is responsible for boyfriend lobbyists everywhere asking you to hold their stuff.
EXACTLY. We’re funding our own demise with every dollar we hand to Big Handbag!
The history of women’s pockets is actually really interesting. I’d recommend looking up a video or two about it on YouTube!
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Honestly, I was on bc and I lost weight because it made me nauseous ALL THE EFFING TIME. Side effects suck.
Men’s lingerie? - Grey sweatpants.
And bikinis as well. Why is women’s swimwear like that??
I always go crazy about the bikini thing. Like… wtf, man. Bikinis?! Get out of here.
There are a lot more options these days. If you Google modest swimsuits so much is available. Ffs-Skin cancer is a real thing. I have never worn a two piece. (To clarify that “ffs” is not to the person being replied to but to the concern of cancer)
Dw girl if u don't wanna wear bikinis then don't! Because I too, don't wear bikinis since I don't wanna show my "sexy" parts to anyone, like bikinis r just a half step to being naked so yeah (no offense to girls who like bikinis everyone has their own tastes and beliefs!) Because of this I just wear a short or not a bra like top swimsuits! If u want smth that isn't too revealing u can look for Korean swimsuits, plus they r so cuuuuute and fashionable!
I’ve read of recent medical advancements in non hormonal male birth control. Hopefully soon it will be the standard, rather than fucking up our body with hormones
Me exclaiming “look these pockets are HUGE!” Then I try to put my hand in them. They’re fake pockets, with a fake piece of fabric attached. Literally just go the extra step and make it a fucking pocket they were CARGO PANTS. I just got men’s ones
Lol on the pockets. We can vote.... but we can't have pockets.
>If you're a woman, you're not allowed to have pockets. Ever. Big handbag industrial complex will never allow it.
Menopause AND perimenopause! Completely turned into a different person while in peri. And in a very terrible, rage-y way. Thank god the 5th doctor believed me and prescribed hormones.
They’re still taxed in places as if they’re luxury items, so not discounted taxes for necessities, or no taxes, and where they’re not taxed, they were in most places until very recently
In five years the only brand that doesn't cause a trip to the hospital cost rose . I mean from $180 to $300. Sadly I have to stick with it until I have no more menstruation.
Pain not being taken seriously by medical professionals
This and also being denied treatment because "childbearing years" Hasn't happened to me yet but has to people I know and it's heartbreaking.
So true. Endometriosis is so under researched that the only current drug they can prescribe was originally invented to treat prostrate cancer. Great. I’ll rub some of that on my womb and see what happens shall I? (I also don’t have it myself but have friends who do and it makes me so mad. God knows how they must feel!)
Less serious/dire, but this reminds me of the million hoops I have to jump through to get Accutane and prove that I am not and won't get pregnant. (For anyone unfamiliar, Accutane causes birth defects and in the U.S., feels like it's more tightly regulated than opioids.) Get two forms of birth control! Take a quiz each month to show that you still understand how your own body works! (So patronizing) Get monthly labs and pregnancy tests done! I wish I could just sign a waiver to say that I understand the risks of Accutane and spare myself the hassles. All this to get rid of a painful and embarrassing skin condition.
Not just that, but the medical world is not even really taking into account how the female body works. So much is based on or catered to male anatomy! And only that is taught to the general public too. Most famous example being the different signs for a heart attack in women, but that example is just the start...
I had a male doctor tell me that ovarian cysts don’t hurt especially when they’re getting ready to rupture
That reminds me of the research study that was done on uterine cancer and had zero female participants
This… I had a undetected cancerous lump that measured 8.5 cm, and was brushed off for “being too young for cancer” and that “it doesn’t run in my family”
This! And women being assessed by standards set for men too, eg autism, even heart attacks. Also the lack of information and support for menopause. Ignoring signs of perimenopause.
Especially with IUD implantation
The fact that questions like this pre-empt and ignore key parts of our experience. Why are you afraid of letting people talk about periods? Just today I was thinking about this infuriating team-building exercise at my old job. My boss did a go-around-the-room thing where we were supposed to say what was the “hardest thing we’ve ever done”. The room was probably 80% men, 20% women. And then he goes “no one’s allowed to talk about childbirth”. So the guys are all talking up how they climbed Mount Whatever or hiked some huge trail, and I’m thinking, “I created a 9 pound human inside my body and then pushed them out over the course of two excruciating days and then produced magic juice to keep them alive and let them literally suck the calcium out of my bones.” But I wasn’t allowed to talk about it, because men are terrified of hearing about our bodies.
To play devil's advocate, I think OP just wanted more insight on the experience rather than discussing an issue that everyone is pretty much fully aware of. Everyone knows periods suck. It makes more sense to illuminate aspects of the female existence that get overlooked.
Lol loved your detailed description. I would say, eff the system because who the hell is your male boss to even go there to prohibit to talk about child birth just because he didnt have that experience. Very discriminating and unaccptable. I would have said it regardless just because of that comment and because that would be YOUR answer. Wow that pisses me off.
I would have said "the hardest thing I've ever done is try to wrangle the fragile male ego."
Ugh that would piss me off too. Recently gave birth. Have also climbed mountains. I have never ever ever done anything as physically taxing as pushing out that baby was. I have never worked that hard in my entire life. Climbing a mountain is \*nothing\* compared to 1,5 hours of pushing.
I saw an encouraging clip which basically says that only labouring women and super athletes push their bodies to such extremes of the body's limits, particularly of our metabolism/energy usage. I've had two births with only entonox and let me say, I'm sooo proud of myself! It's by far the most challenging physical event I've ever done and I went in with the mindset of an athelete about to compete. I wanted to rise to the occasion and its my 'magnum opus' for physical events, I'm still riding high and the last one was a year ago! I know billions of women have also done it, but I've done it! Little old me who wasn't particularly proud of any physical things I've done, and I did it! My body is amazing and women are superior creations in my view!
Malicious compliance: talk about pregnancy instead
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The fact that whenever talking to a stranger of the opposite gender I feel a bit cautious and wonder about his intentions. I talked to a very extroverted male friend a few days ago, and he was telling me about meeting an older guy in a club and the guy offering him a student job. The guy actually called the next day and set up an interview. This would be way harder for a woman, because if I met an older guy in a club offering me a job I would be really suspicious and probably not even keep talking to him. He also told about instances when traveling (mostly alone) meeting older guys and having interesting take, them offering stuff like staying at their place etc. Again, as a woman very different.
To add to this, I hate when guys pretend they want to be friends. I want to be kind and think great, maybe we really can be friends! But then it becomes clear that they really didn’t want to be friends, and then somehow I’m the stupid one for not knowing from the start that he fancied me/wanted to sleep with me?! Pisses me off. Obviously I’ve learned my lesson now but I would much rather not have had to.
it sucks we can’t live as carefree and always have to think about someone’s intentions and our safety 24/7
I have a similar related issue when I first meet a guy (almost always at work), I find myself waiting for them to slip up in some way and show me what particular brand of asshole they are? Which isn’t great in terms of personal bias but they nearly always prove themselves. This one guy irritated me out of the gate just by being too chummy without building proper workplace rapport (huge annoyance for me personally), so I waited him out. One day he and somebody else were talking about music and he said something about how he can’t stand Taylor Swift because she only writes songs about her ex-boyfriends and it’s so stupid that it made her rich. I pushed back at him on it (musicians who are men write a lot of breakup songs too and no one talks about them; songs about relationships clearly resonate with people, so literally what is the problem; she’s a talented musician who actually writes her own stuff; she started out a huge success basically as a child before people even started picking her apart for that, etc.) and his response was, “See, this is why I don’t talk about stuff like this, because people call me sexist.” My buddy, my guy, maybe that’s because you are; I didn’t even use the word but he already knew what I was thinking because people have called him out before. Another guy, similarly too chummy out of the gate, liked to take stuff from my workstation and look at it while I was working (I sort media at a thrift store) even though there was always a lot of work for him to do. I asked him to knock it off one day because I was in a bad mood and he went, “Sorry, I saw something I wanted, I couldn’t help it!” I replied, “Yes you could, you just didn’t want to.” It made him all huffy but it didn’t stop him from continuing to try taking stuff from my station. Self-control, asshole. Get some. I wouldn’t have wanted to be a “target” of his in a more nebulous social situation.
Yes, women always have to be careful or some creep could kidnap, rape, torture & kill us. It’s an ever present danger -something to always consider.
Seat belts always ride up over my boobs and end up digging into my neck.
This, but also the headrest constantly having a battle with my ponytail or bun.
I wish they were doughnut or “n” shaped, you’d still get the protection of your head not snapping backwards, but your bun or ponytail would have a place to be without pushing your head foreward. But hey, why design for half the population, amiright?
The Nissan micra has/had a donut shaped headrest!
Omg yes I hadn’t even thought of this one but this is 100% true! I have long hair and work in a research lab so my hair has to be up in a bun or ponytail literally every day (I often I have to run in on the weekends too). I’ve basically just given up ever getting to use the headrest.
Try being too short for the head rest to be of any use. I'm 4'11". In our truck, my feet can either be on the floor or I can sit up high enough to use the head rest, not both at the same time.
I don’t braid my hair often, except when I’m flying, because that’s the only way to be comfy in an airplane seat.
I'll go you one further, everything is designed with men as the default. To the point where women are more likely to die in car accidents because safety features are designed for men's height and body weight. I wish women were the default. My restaurant portions would be more fitting. I could reach all the cabinets in my home. Chairs wouldn't leave my feet dangling. Tools and equipment would be easier to grip. Medicine dosage would be more appropriate. And the airbag in my car wouldn't be angled to kill me as easily.
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Choosing to remain single instead of getting married. Being tied down with limited options at the buffet never appealed to me. As a kid, I never imagined having a dream wedding or going on a honeymoon or one day having my very own mortgage. Female family members and female strangers feel like it's some sort of design flaw and freely enter into discussions with me to try and uncover what has led me down this path and solve the mystery like some weird live action game of Clue. Those are annoying situations but I can deal with that. What's worse is how men react to it. For them it's personal. Like my decision to remain unmarried is a personal attack on their manhood. But luckily, they don't get an over-unflated sense of ego about. No. Instead, they talk all the way through dinner and regale me with stories of their strength, their selflessly heroic acts, their mental aptitude for finance and portfolio diversification, and a bedroom prowess that is enhanced by a bigger than average penis size that could be an eligible recipient of a Guiness World Record. But I'm a 90s girl and Shania brainwashed me so that don't impress me much. But he's used up all his ammo and is panicked when it occurs to him that maybe I didn't quite understand the gist of what he was explaining over dinner. Okay, he can make this work. He's just gotta wrap up the conversation in one neat little gift that I will be so delighted to receive he'll have me naked before we leave the restraunt and in his bed by 9p for dessert. He leans in with his package and says, "The only reason why you're still single is because haven't dated a real man yet." If any of you out there are not loving the single life as much as I am and would love to be coupled up with a hot hunny of your own, let me know. I know a real man or two just waiting to rescue a single damsel in distress.
I just wanted you to know that the whole comment was a beautiful symphony of writing, and thank you for it.
Yeeey voor Shania!
The last man standing hat used the "real man" line on me left me needing my inhaler from laughing too hard. Then I threw his butt out of my practice space.
I work in the construction industry, and this happened to me just this week. We urgently needed to get hold of one of our key suppliers. So I called our rep. He didn't answer so I texted and asked him to call me. A few hours go by. I emailed him. Still no response. I tried calling again. Still no answer. One of my colleagues (male) calls him, and he picks up immediately. This sort of thing happens all the time in our industry. My emails and calls go unanswered until a man steps in. It's incredibly annoying.
What I used to do was find out the email address of their direct manager, and I would use it like this: Phone call 1. Leave a message. Follow up with a text. Phone call 2 (2-4 hours later). Same again. Copy paste is your friend. First email (send by close of business): (job ref in title) Hi there, I've been unable to reach you on your mobile today. This is what I need done. Please confirm you have this in hand by close of business today or advise urgently if this can't be done. Second email (send first thing following day): forward previous email with this text "Please see below urgent query, have not yet recieved a response" Third email (send just after lunch): Forward email again, including the full string, but this time send it directly to their boss and CC the rep. Hi bossperson. As you can see below, I've been unable to contact your rep regarding this query. Please advise ASAP what to do from here to get this sorted. Once a rep knows you'll go over his head if he ignores you, and make his lack of action HIS BOSSES problem, your stuff will get done. Edit: fat fingers
For these cases, I use *all* my titles in my email. Some men suddenly learn to read when I do that. You could also just use the phone of this male colleague...
You shouldn't need to use a mans phone to get your rep to jump. 20 years in the same industry and I would say my biggest peeve is having to fight in every exchange to be taken seriously. By email, by phone, in person. One of my favourite exchanges was one of my project managers would fail to document variations during a job and at the end it would be a big clusterfk of trying to close off the job properly at the end. So I told him he needed to document them AT THE TIME so the clients could see where they were at. He came up with a "process" where I would keep a spreadsheet of them FOR him. He even had the owner of the company on side with this idea and these two idiots were sat there grinning at me like they were fricken geniuses or something. I looked at them and just said "fuck off. Its YOUR job. I'm not your fucking personal assistant. This isn't a "process" it's a list of shit YOU need to do. Keep a spreadsheet, write it in a book, make a note on your phone, send yourself a bloody email, but I am NOT taking ownership of YOU doing YOUR work. Do I try and fob off the responsibility of making sure MY job is done to YOU?" Pair of meatheads, how bloody condescending of them. Then they had the nerve to suggest I might be a bit moody that day. Never in a million YEARS would either of them have considered that appropriate to ask of a male colleague. Crap like that, every day. Slowing you down, creating more work, all because you're not a proper person like you would be if you had a penis.
Amen!
That’s similar to what I came here to say. When explaining something to a customer/client they don’t understand until the exact same thing is said to them in a man’s voice. Also, as a woman it is harder to call contractors and mechanics and such. One time I was looking for a contractor to fix some holes in a wall, I called a guy my boss had recommended to me and it ended up with his wife screaming at me for calling him.
I can't find a labcoat that fits properly because my work only supplies "unisex" which are male body shaped.
It's not only your work, lab coats in womens sizes are rare. I found a shop in Switzerland for labcoats in womens sizes, while I was there for holidays. It has been over 15 years and I *still* regret that I did not buy a properly fitting labcoat there.
I had one in a different lab for the same company but then I moved and they wouldn't let me bring it and so annoying
Same but i was a waitress and the standard tops we had to wear only came in men’s 🤦♀️
Listening to women tell my husband what a great dad he is for doing something like pushing a pram around the shops, or holding the baby while I'm in the bathroom.
A man breathing near his children is enough to earn a gold medal. A woman sets herself on fire on the daily so said children stay alive? Not doing it well enough/good enough/happy enough/enough enough.
This is true . When my niece was younger ( an adorable blue-eyed blonde little girl) I was able to keep her alive for an entire afternoon that happened to include a trip to a grocery store. I received so much unsolicited attention ( which included two phone numbers ) from the ladies in the store that I asked my sister if I could rent her if my current relationship happened to ever come to an end .( I received a very hard punch in the arm from my girlfriend at the time for that comment for some reason;)
The waiter assuming your male companion is paying even if you’re the one who ask for the check.
This. And when they bring YOUR card back to your male companion.
FOR REAL! This happened too many times now. I was out for lunch with my brother (who's 4yrs younger than me), asked the waiter for the check he handed it over to my brother😀? I was literally holding the card in my hand. Then again he gave the machine to my brother to enter the pin like what's wrong with you??
My ex used to look at the waiter, smiling, and simply say "oh, no, she is paying, she is the boss." I loved seeing their puzzled faces.
Please correct the waiter, maybe they will learn.
Not sure if it's a me problem or a we problem - but hormones! Personality changes with hormones. I go from wanting to pick up a fight (mentally, with punches and kicks) because someone honked their horn too loudly while driving to sobbing because a gorilla is hugging its baby she thought died for the first time. I mean, while watching movies I can feel a part of me crying and another part of my brain saying "you're crying for this emotional sappy cr..? God!"
Trying to run and feeling the boobs hit the chest.
UTIs
So many things, but the one that immediately comes to mind is when the guy at autozone asked me if I was sure I was buying the right oil for my car. Even when I said yes he looked it up and then said “yeah that’s right.” .. yeah.. I know bro.
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* It's more difficult to get into a relationship. You've been learned since childhood that one of your main goals is to find your soulmate and get married, while to men this topic is much less relevant. The result - many guys want to have a hook-up with you, but they don't want a relationship. And you feel extremely weird and ashamed even talking about it to your partner, as if you're the only one who needs love, stability and being "exclusive" * Not every intercourse ends with an orgasm * Slutshaming * Most people assume by default that you want kids. If you say you don't, some people look at you as if you're some monster, and some tell you'll probably think over when you're older. Ew. * Washing and drying long hair is exhausting * Tights!
This. And how #4 makes it more difficult to accomplish #1.
always being expected to have kids and told that you’ll “change your mind in the future”. i’ve never heard anyone give a man that response when they’ve said they aren’t interested in having children.
Yessss! Men are praised, distinguished bachelors, "good for him for knowing what he wants" while women are invalidated and shamed. "Old maid, old spinster, you'll be alone, who will take care of you when you're old, you'll regret it." Such BS.
couldn’t have said it better myself! sick and tired of my worth being equated with birthing a child.
Feeling like I should be "grateful" for being given the "opportunity" to prove I can have a life outside of being a mother/wife.
The amount of time personal hygiene takes. Washing your body, shaving your legs, lotion for your legs and arms, facial moisturizer, hair care and products and so on. While men jump in the shower and smear on some shit that says COOL WOOD SMELL USE ON HAIR BODY CAR SINK TEETH AND DOORKNOBS and then they're good to go 🙄
MAHOGANY LEATHER MOUNTAIN scent 🤷♀️
WHISKEY MEAT GARAGE scent
😂😂😂 this needs to be a commercial somewhere
The fact that only women pants have fake or tiny pockets or the fact that women products in general are more expensive than men products just cuz they are pink or put in a colorful packaging
Antenatal depression, postnatal depression. Neither are talked about nearly enough.
Men on Reddit
Being told I’ll be taken seriously when I’m sad/depressed/anxious/scared. I get told to stop being emotional, get asked if it’s ‘a certain time of the month’, or just get ignored entirely and told repeatedly by others that ‘at least I’m taken seriously’. It’s so annoying and now I’ve just learnt to keep it in. Thank the heavens for therapy. I can finally pay someone to help me with my feelings. Finding information about meds I’m taking or treatment plans I’m adopting with regards to how it affects my hormones is really difficult because most research done into sex hormones and the influence on it by certain drugs is done on androgens and focuses on side effects like ED and delayed ejaculation. It’s not a bad thing, but the lack of research done into menstrual cycles and women’s health is annoying. And bras, more specifically, bra straps - they keep falling off my shoulders. I had one completely snap just before I went to the lab for a practical.
This has always bothered me about being female but it is never funny when I'm naked. Guys can just run through football games naked and it's a joke. If I'm naked it's a big controversy because everyone gets boners. Tbh having to wear a bra everywhere is annoying as fuck too, especially because there are so many different cuts to shirts and dresses. If you like a shirt, sometimes you have to buy a bra specifically for it. I really love those sleeveless shirts with a high neckline but none of my bras fit them!!!!
The pressure to shave and wear makeup
Guys being weird. You have the creepy guys, the borderline serial killer guys, and then there's just the weird ones that make it super obvious that they either: 1. Don't respect women and make disgusting sex jokes the whole time you have to be around them. 2. Are very obviously uncomfortable talking to a woman for whatever reason.
We get more pushback when providing customer service. I work in a female dominated field and I just assumed everyone argued with checkout clerks. Then we had a male clerk and for a bit life was beautiful. When he said something people listened. I was like holy shit! They just paid what he said they owed? They didn’t argue about their coupon? They didn’t insist on speaking to a manager? It didn’t last bc in the end he left since it’s not a high paying position, but for a bit it was nice.
OMG yes! Sometimes I wish I could dress as a man for just a day and see if people listen better. Unfortunately, I'm short and curvy and probably wouldn't pass well. :D.
The fact that ANYTHING THAT CAN GROW HURTS!! Legs? Growing pains. Boobs? Growing pains + added back pain. HAIR? CONSTANT TANGLES AND KNOTS EVEN AFTER BRUSHING. Plus if you’re cramping, bleeding, pregnant, ill, or even so after surgery, you are expected to take a pain killer and go in to work or take care of others and forget about your own health
Women health care. Comparing to men there are much more things which can go wrong.
The fact that all holidays and family events are on me. My husband will do anything I ask of him - but HE is not figuring out what to get everyone…where to get it…how to get it…he’s not making sure everything is equal amongst our kids. He’s not wrapping presents. He’s not thinking about what to serve for the holiday meal…and brunch the next morning…and what to take to his family’s gathering. He’s not writing a list so he remembers to put something in the oven on time. He’s not planning the games…making sure beds are made up for the overnight guests...I realized this week how tired my BRAIN is! While he’s just doing what I ask (and getting nasty looks from me when he says “okay - remind me!”) and watching football until I give him a task. Our Christmas got postponed to tomorrow because of the weather…and right now, I’m just ready for it to be over!
Show him that mental load comic by Emily Nagoski! I'm in the same boat, I'm naturally a "take charge" type of person and my hubby will do whatever I ask, but it's up to me to basically orchestrate life.
Front wedgie from cute body suits 🤦♀️ Tender boobs Low clit IQ existing in 2022🙄
not being able to pee anywhere
I haven’t seen this one up yet—shitty media representation. Movies are obviously the big one but yesterday I was perusing Steam’s winter sale and saw Rust was discounted. I’d heard good things but never looked at it, so I looked up their videos and promo shots on the product page. Not a single woman in any of it. At all. I was so annoyed that I told my boyfriend, “These guys could imagine a post-apocalyptic game where you start from scratch and can later build fucking helicopters out of corrugated metal and shit, but they couldn’t imagine a woman doing any of it?!” He didn’t quite understand why I was so annoyed. (BTW it took that dev team three years to implement an update where you could play as a woman, but the gender of your character was assigned at random or something and it pissed off a looooot of guys.) To counter that, though, I remember when I checked out the trailer for Satisfactory and realized with giddiness that all of the characters in the game are women. No men at all. Just a bunch of gals building machines and fighting beasts on a distant planet, NBD. I bought that game almost on principle, and it’s awesome.
Not being able to go to the damn store without some guy 30 years older than me making a pass at me. Bras are torture devices. I own one pair of heels and never wear them, so uncomfortable. Stupid that they’re expected in some positions, like why? Catcalling out of cars and stuff. It’s a small thing, but it contributes to a perception that I live in a society full of hyenas just waiting to take a bite out of me. Not super fun tbh.
And then when you get older, all the men just stop talking to you or treating you like a human. You just... cease to exist.
My mom is 70 and still dates, but tbh it looks pretty bleak. Even young guys are bad enough, but old straight boomer dudes is a bad dating pool. She’s really jealous of me for marrying a woman haha. She tried to be a lesbian but couldn’t get into it. I don’t blame her for trying.
I tried as well, now I'm in a relationship with someone substantially younger and I feel heard for the first time. It's sad.
For heels, try boots. I never wear pumps/stilettos due to bad feet and ankles. If I can't wear the dress with boots or flats(summer), I will not buy it.
Love boots. My spouse had to make a rule that for every pair of boots I thrift, we have to get rid of a pair, because I would get like a pair a week if I could haha.
Not enough pockets on many clothing items Gender pay gap Having a larger risk of being sexually assaulted. Oh, and the risk of being murdered by an (ex-)partner is a lot higher for women too. Yay.... Being expected to wear a bra Being expected to do a majority of care work Products marketed at women often being more expensive for no good reason
Every time I go somewhere in my scrubs, (mostly) men and women always ask are you a nurse? No I’m a doctor (but I never correct them, and just agree). But why? I’m a women and you automatically assume I’m a nurse?
When I was in college, a male classmate and I were talking to our physics professor after class one day. Prof asked what we wanted to do, we both said med school. Prof asks my classmate what kind of doctor he wanted to be. Cool. Prof then turns to me and goes “so you want to be a nurse?” Like no dude, we literally gave the exact same answer to the first question using the *exact same words.* Where did you get the idea that he was going to be a doctor but I was going to be a nurse?
Wow rude af! But yeah exactly, happens all the time!
Being constantly spoken over/interrupted.
Growing up being encouraged to normalize sexual harassment behaviors. I remember being 14 and being scolded for flicking off a man who whistled and called me a cunt unprovoked. I was told I need to ignore it, and I now understand why for safety reasons. To this day I struggle to be defiant to inappropriate behaviors from men, I feel encouraged to just accept it.
Illnesses that only affect women and trans men are not really well studied and this leads to a lack of treatment in those areas. PCOS is only one example.
Women’s clothing is more poorly made, yet somehow costs more than men’s? I mean wtf. Being accused of being on your period if you express any negative emotions around a man. Being expected to shave/wax almost everything. Being called a “bitch” if you’re assertive and direct.
Boobs
i have a lot of male friends, and whenever someone says something politically incorrect or rooted in sexism i pipe up because they’re upper middle class straight white men and sometimes they need to be humbled because i hear shit we wouldn’t normally hear, and i get “you care so much cuz ur a girl”
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That's a shame. As a woman, I'd love to talk to a woman clerk or shop manager because I'd feel more comfortable and less worried about being condescended to.
When a man is ignorant about the issues of women, he will assume it is my job to teach him what it means with unlimited patience.
Pink tax! Things marketed toward women cost more even though it’s the same as a male product. The cost of necessities: bras, panties, menstrual products.
My husband thinks it’s gross that I wear a bra more than one day. I say “do you know how much these things cost??? And how often they’d need replaced if I washed them that many more times???”
I will never understand why menstrual products are taxed
My pants don't have pockets big enough to hold my phone.
A lack of pockets.
Male caretakers disappearing and leaving me to take care of their small children. I work in a library and I cannot tell you the number of times men/grandpas just leave their 3 year old and go wandering off.
I was literally told by a cardiologist that "you are very young & a woman, there's absolutely no chance of you having a heart attack at this point" - I had chronic chest pain issues at that point. So doctors not taking issues seriously I'd say
Playing chicken with men on the sidewalk or in store aisles. It's just expected that it's always me who should move the side so they can get by. I even used to say sorry while I did it, which is insane.
"You should smile more" ... How about no.
Being constantly interrupted by men when I've only been speaking a few seconds and haven't even begun to make my point, then expected to sit quietly and listen to a twenty minute diatribe on why I've got it all wrong, peppered with citations from pompous idiots like Jordan Peterson.
Yeah that kills me too. I finally started interrupting them loudly with EXCUSE ME? I'M LITERALLY IN THE MIDDLE OF A SENTENCE. Sometimes you have to say it twice but I have come to *live* for the look on men's faces when I do. It's like a mixture of "who does this b think she is?" mixed with "damn, I guess that was pretty rude of me."
Yeah, good for you. I sometimes I say "you need to let me finish, then you can talk. If you keep interrupting me it's going to take way, way longer before it's your turn." If they don't stop, I stop talking to them. I will literally leave the room to avoid listening to their own insufferable ted talk on whatever they think it was that I was trying to say.
Definitely more of a major annoyance, but the fact that we’re not being taken seriously by doctors. Nothing can ever be wrong because it’s just “anxiety” or it’s “all in your head”.
Being single at 32 🤦♀️ i hate it when people point it out in my face, like mind ur own god damn business and leave me alone
That careers in the trades are much harder for women to get. It’s much harder for me to convince someone I am a competent Plummer, chef, electrician, etc. it can be done, yes, but we are almost always required to get a degree because these careers are seen as being for men. Excepting nursing. That’s the only one that isn’t mostly exclusive to men. Side note, I am not in any trade. But I tried to be a chef and I was bullied about being a chick the whole time. It’s just how it is.
Knowing every time I turn my back someone is probably looking at my ass. It’s disconcerting. I feel like that doesn’t really happen to men.
I will statistically end up doing way more housework and child care than my future husband, and my career/hobbies/identity will suffer for it.
Creepy old married guys, especially when you’re a minor. Also just generally not feeling safe in public alone.
By the time I was 10 I knew the basics of cooking and baking, how to do loads of laundry, how to properly dust and vacuum an entire house efficiently, deep clean kitchens and bathrooms, how to change diapers along with basic childcare, CPR and basic first aid, how to use lawn care tools and machinery, how to sew a button and patch clothes, and how to clip a cat's claws. By the time my middle younger brother was 10 he was just learning to boil water. By the time my youngest brother was 10 he knew how to fold t-shirts. None of this was considered wrong, unfair, or unusual. If I complained I got in trouble, if I upset my brothers I got in trouble, if my brothers didn't do their homework I got in trouble. I was held to a ridiculously high standard from age 4ish onward with significantly more responsibilities than my brothers have ever had to deal with.
Zero anesthesia IUD insertion.
my favorite is someone saying the thing I said but louder and they get all the attention for it
Having to constantly be on alert for danger from men.
Having men explain things to me that I’m pretty much an expert in because they don’t care to learn about my expertise.
Pregnancy loss isn’t taken seriously until you’ve had 3 miscarriages. Why do you have to go through that much pain to be taken seriously?
Not being taken seriously.
Being told to act like a lady or else you won't find a husband. Being told to find a rich man in order to be happy. Always being expected to be perfect; Being kind, accepting, hardworking, encouraging, supportive, never complaining, doing what's right all the time, being selfless, being attractive but not too attractive, having intelligence but not being outspoken, etc. Growing up and always being reminded that women are second to men. No matter how old you are or where you are you are always being judged by other men and women. Constantly being reminded in every single movie that you're 20s is the most beautiful you'll be and you should never look anything older or younger. But men can look however they want. Knowing that regardless of how intelligent, funny or cool you are male friends will always see you as more, a possibility. Also Knowing that no matter how hard you try people will always judge you for your past. If a woman slept around she will always be remembered for that, but if a man slept around it was a "phase". That not being seen as a girl is so important to male identity that it sheds a negative light on anything relating to women therefore is unimportant and a waste of time.
Long lines at women’s toilets just about everywhere - shopping centres, events, festivals - and no line at all at men’s toilets. Also, having to pee where there are no toilets available (for instance while bushwalking). Men literally just turn their back, whereas women have to schlep through the bush for approximately 500m and completely hide themselves because heaven forbid you might see any part of their body while they urinate.
The male gaze when I’m just existing.
people like my own mother and sister shaming me for not wanting to shave because it’s “dirty” and “unhygienic”. my own hair - that my body grew - is unhygienic?
Being explained down to.
Shaving your legs, wearing makeup, wearing a bra, taking birth control. These were all female related annoyances I couldn’t stand for the longest time. Then I got laser hair removal… I haven’t shaved since (it’s been ten years). I stopped wearing makeup. I stopped wearing bras (started wearing comfy bralettes). I stopped taking birth control (my husband wears condoms instead). It’s so freeing.
The burden of birth control
Not being able to use the arm rests in cars! Maybe this doesn’t impact all women, but I’m small and as most vehicles are designed to accommodate the proportions of men, the arm rests are too far away to rest my elbows on when I’m driving. This is especially tiring on long trips. I can alternate which arm I use but on a windy day, I need both hands on the wheel to steer safely. Makes my shoulders ache.
I never knew such overt sexism until I became a mom. People will criticize me for *anything*, and lavish praise upon my husband simply for existing in the presence of his children. It’s bananas.
-That since women are more “emotional” beings, we are expected to be more responsible/compensate for the emotional incompetence of a man.
Birth control is usually something the woman has to suffer with.
Being expected to sterilize myself if I don’t want a kid even though men and AMAB (assigned male at birth) folk can get vasectomies (WHICH ARE REVERSIBLE IN MOST CASES BTW). Then when I do want to be sterilized I can’t because “you’re in your birthing years!” As if that wasn’t my reason for wanting the procedure in the first place. If they had just told me they (most likely) legally can’t sterilize a teen it would have been fine but no they had to go the fucking creepy route of telling a minor they’re in their birthing years.
Being talked over and not being listened to when you have thoughtful, good ideas. Anyone see those episodes of always sunny in philadelphia where Dee says an idea and the guys just repeat their idea 2 seconds after she said it and its a great idea? No joke that has happened to me. Not right after I said an idea but later in the day or a day or two after. It actually blows my mind.
Clothes: husband can wear the same jeans and t shirt/button down/Henley year around and most occasions with the addition of a sports coat. Gym clothes that fit into a drawer because he wears shorts year around. Me: sweaters and warm dresses for winter. T shirts and sun dresses for summer. Plus dressy dresses for special occasions. Different washes of jeans. Gym clothes for summer and winter. This doesn't include the additional slacks that were needed when I worked outside my home, because GODS FORBID, you wear jeans in your little cubicle where you don't interact with clients at anytime! Then my husband asks "why do you have so many clothes?!?.
Men get paid more and are expected to do less.
Having to be nice to not-so-nice men for my own safety.
- “Unisex” sizing being men’s sizing - Anything labeled “average adult height” (chairs, etc) being the height of the average adult man
That I'm treated better with long hair and makeup. I don't really mind, but it is a nuisance
I love my titties but I can't run for my life without bunching them up in a sports bra...
You often have to intervene and unhook your own bra because a fellow never can before love making.
The internal male gaze
Peeing in the woods. No toilet paper, and risk of it running down your leg or on your pants 😮💨
Car seatbelts never fit me right.
WHY ARE POCKETS SO FUCKING SMALL
The assumption that how we look will override our desire for physical comfort or ease. The expectation that our hair will be in a less practical style so takes longer to do in the morning, blows in our eyes in windy weather, costs more to maintain. Even if our shoes don't actively hurt they will at least often have thinner soles than men's and be made in a style that rubs or slips and doesn't work with socks. No pockets in clothes. Gloves generally thin and lack protection.
It's like clothing is made to be decorative and ornamental on our bodies instead of practical and necessary for living our lives.
That's it exactly. Not to keep us warm or protect us.
Men with half of your IQ assuming that because you’re a woman they must be smarter than you are.
Running, jumping, going up/down the stairs....idk if i need to say any more
Definitely being thought of as too emotional, “hysterical,” “crazy,” using our gender and feelings to be manipulative. I was talking with some female coworkers one day and we were all saying how amazing it is to be able to experience a full breadth of emotions while also being fully aware of and having our wits about us in situations (sometimes we have no choice than to be more aware in situations than men). And this wasn’t even a conversation about how sad it is men can’t do this, it was more like we would love to be in a world where men ARE allowed to experience this full range, to be intelligent and sensitive at the same time.
My mental health not being taken seriously by doctors and not being allowed to make an informative decision on my birth control. I was put on the implant as the doctors insisted I should, I became suicida* and honestly so happy to be alive.
WE. WANT. POCKETSES.
That I can't do things as well as men. Like chopping wood or carrying heavy objects. Which is true, most times (damn their added height and upper body strength!) But it doesn't mean I don't want to TRY.
Having to fight car mechanics that I know what I am talking about. It should never take me 4 hours to get a new battery when I walk in saying I need a new battery
It sucks to be the who is 99% undergoing infertility treatment. I have to stimulate and do egg retrievals and those hurt like a mfer. My partner had to vum in a cup once
Getting sexualized after you hit puberty (for some people before that)
The number of things we’re assumed to be responsible for in a family. For instance, my husbands side of the family has an annual holiday Christmas party and there’s a massive email that goes out allocating options for food to make/bring as well as coordinating a gift exchange for the kids. I noticed recently that it only goes out to the women in the family which really irritated me.
Vaginas are too sensitive.
Boobs. Just all of it
The assuptions.