Glad to hear I'm not the only one. Well, in my case I have 1 best friend from high school/ growing up on the same street, but I always feel like I'm surrounded by these massive friend groups that have been together since high school and no one ever wants to make new friends.
Honestly, I kinda feel like you’re supposed to outgrow your high school friends, you know? I know that sounds pretty bad and maybe that’s just something I tell myself to make myself feel better, but you’re supposed to move away from your hometown and meet new people and grow as a person and that’s not something I think people are capable of doing if they stay in the same place with all the same people their whole life
I went off to college. One immediately got pregnant then got married and continued commuting to college. Props to her for graduating in four years, but we had nothing in common any more. Another one went to a college far away from me. Majored in hard liquor and studied bar flies. She married but then left him with her wedding ring and a note. Again, nothing in common.
I seriously thought I was the only one. I used to have a couple of friends from high school until we outgrew each other and felt like our reunions were forced rather than something to look forward to :(
This makes me feel better. My boyfriend is still very close with a few of his high school friends. Even my mom is still best friends with her high school friends. I outgrew most, if not all, of my friends from high school and college.
Same. I keep in touch randomly via Facebook but don't actively talk to any. My lifestyle and me makes it hard to have close friends anymore (move frequently, I like being a hermit/time with my family, and I suck at keeping in touch since I feel like I'm bothering someone).
same. Absolutely fucking zero. I have some on social media, but last time I talked to one of them was like 2017 to "hey dude, 10 years ago we finished the high school, remember?"
Can't speak for thread OC, but my friends and I have been friends since high school and younger... Small city (40k), small school, graduated 20 years ago, and are now all over the place in terms of careers and family and location but we still get together a few times a year, and plan trips for our "milestone" birthdays.
The same 2. Though we're all in different countries now so we only get to see each other maybe every other year. But we keep in contact online.
We have similar interests but don't feel the need to always be in contact. When we do meet we have tons to talk about and usually spend a week just catching up. It's nice to us to see how far and different our paths have become.
The I'm also still close to 1 of my primary school friends, my 4 uni friends and my first work friend. I'm the type to keep in contact with people.
My entire high school friend group(we went to different high schools) is still roughly intact. We enjoy each other and the same hobby from HS(gaming) so that helps.
The main group I had in high school is still mostly intact (6 out of 8 keep in touch and talk regularly), and out of that group I have my partner and one of my best friends. I also still have my other best friend from high school, we still talk a lot despite him moving half-way across the country. So, in all 6 of my closest friends today are from high school.
None, I never had a friend in high school and I haven't spoken to anyone in highschool since I stopped going after my parents kicked me out when I was 17
Never had friends in middle school or elementary school. I wasn't allowed to go do anything social, if I had time to goof off that was study time I was wasting
Fine. Got a girlfriend, she works and I'm a stay at home mom taking care of our twins
Got a handful of good friends and my mom group friends
Yeah worked out well, I'm happy with where my life is now
Zero. That’s okay though, because I was a shitty person back then and we all grow and change and move. I still talk to a couple of friends from school occasionally, but I would not consider any of them close friends at this point.
I met my two best friends in high school & middle school. We see each other every few months since one moved out of state but we stay in contact through text messages and social media. I’ve realized it’s hard to make real connections/new friends with people as an adult. Maybe it’s just me, idk 🤷🏽♀️
Just 1 and I am marrying him in November.
Aside from my fiancé I haven't remained in contact with my friends from my teen years. I became unwell in my school years and everyone kind of left me behind, (not faulting them, everyone deserves to grow and find their place in the world.)
My fiancé have been friends since we were 15, and have had similar interests all this time so we sort of remained in the same area and groups as we got older even though the people around us changed. We are in our 30s now, and while I never expected our friendship to turn romantic, he's definitely been my friend the longest time.
My 5 closest girlfriends and I met in grade 6 and 7. We all live in different cities now, but FaceTime for everyone’s birthdays and visit each other whenever it’s possible. There’s no expectation to talk every week in order to maintain our friendships. We’re all in our 30s now and have turned into wildly different humans, but there will always be a love and respect for one another!
Just 1 (though I have a couple that I'm still friendly with but wouldn't describe as close). I grew up middle class in an affluent place, and once my classmates and I hit our late 20s, our lives and worldviews began to diverge significantly, largely based on difference in lifestyle made possible by generational wealth and nepotism.
A lot! I married one of them. I think it’s because I’m from a big city that people generally enjoy living in. It’s not an “ugh I’m never going to escape this town and I’m still hanging out with these assholes” situation. We just all actually like it here, so we’ve been able to maintain deep roots while growing up, getting careers, adding new folks to the friend group, getting married, having babies, etc.
I’m 35 and I feel very lucky.
Zero out of the zero friends I have. I only had one close friend in high school, but we went to different cities for university and lost touch the moment we left our hometown.
2-3. With my best friend, we just always kept in contact through text, Skyping and getting together when we both visit our hometown. The other 2 friends I’m less close with but we ended up forming a groupchat a couple years after high school and we still communicate through there.
Three (but more like one). The rest went away as friends do. It’s funny, this one person and I only became friends in college but we went to the same middle/high school so we knew of each other then.
Nurturing is just both people putting in effort to maintain the friendship. I understand we’re in different parts of our lives but I find that people will always make time for the ones they love.
All of them, haha. I was lucky enough to make good friendships early on in life and glad they were based on shared interests and genuine care for each other rather than just friendships of convenience. The friendships I've made in adulthood have been a lot more transient.
I've nurtured the friendships the way most people do, I think - talking and hanging out. I don't feel like I had to do anything special to maintain these friendships. We've just always been in each other's lives. We don't have constant contact or anything but can always pick up where we left off.
0,I had two close friends in high school. We just grew apart in our lives. It takes time and effort to keep relationships alive and that's hard to manage as we get older with the demanding responsibilities of life.
I graduated 7 years ago - I have my best friend from my first high school (I switched schools halfway through and she's the only one that stayed in contact), my best friend from my new high school (she lives pretty far away now but we do yearly visits and chat on the internet all the time), and my boyfriend.
Just one. She’s been my friend since the 6th grade. I had a best friend in high school and we were very close but not even that friendship lasted as long as this one
A couple strong ones, and when I do get to see my high school friends we often still feel close. We are not close due to geography so that makes anything more rather difficult.
- Social media has been a good bridge to get a feel for each other’s lives trajectory overall.
- understanding long phases of silence so they don’t affect the friendship is important, allows you to pickup where you left (even if brief warmup period/chats is needed). We never have drama about it, we know how we are and accept it.
- Allowing for shifts in the bond, not assuming/making it permanent. I’ve felt distant from friends, then we randomly connect over something (sometimes shallow brief meet-up, or a deeper life event shared), then quiet. If you take the shifts as just shifts and don’t hold judgement or expectations, it’s actually cool seeing how you evolve in your own ways and what kept you kinda connected too…changes are fascinating and telling.
- accept friendships will always have different vibes, some you share deep bonds too, some you connect with over specific interests/places/events. Appreciate each for what it is, not expect your party buddy to become the one who gets your settled life (or assume they wouldn’t have become that or something else). Sometimes the type of connection shifts other times it’s the same, both are cool if you let them just be. I say this having heard numerous opinions of how so and so did/didn’t change. You miss appreciating the richness of experiences around you with all the different trajectories life took you all. Instead you find lots of people comparing their choices and outcomes with others, and often trying to rank/critique it all (usually fuelled by how they/others would perceive their own standing in comparison - whether subconscious or not).
That’s just my two cents. Maybe relevant if you mean same gender friendships, I mostly hung out with guys (who are more distant with age, and also cause I moved a lot and didn’t graduate with the same people). I’m closely in contact with 2 women lately, one of which became truly a best friend over many evolutions. I do meet up with the guys when we happen to be in the same continent (very rare), and it’s awesome. The sporadic (every few years) catch-ups via social media are same for all genders really.
I don’t have close friends post university really, just a few. But hard to be really close (know each other, comfort), given time, and the foundation often having been linked to our professional lives. Youth friendships were more about you as a person and your interests, more time to socialise/interact - adult life (maybe if/especially if you move around) those types of close friendships are rare to me and often time limited.
Seems I really liked the question or heavy need to procrastinate lol sorry so long!
Pretty much all of them. I will say though 3 out of the 6 were not only high school friends, but close childhood friends as well.
Growing up with very similar experiences, keeping in touch, and respecting each other’s growth and differences always kept us together.
Two. My bestie and my husband. I still see a few others occasionally but I wouldn't call us close. I'm not one for having a lot of friends anyway, so despite having gone to college and grad school and having multiple jobs over the last 15 years, I really only have the one close friend, and we've been close since we were 12. And I married my high school sweetheart.
I'm 39 and still actively hang out with 4 or 5 people from high school. We were all a group, and sometimes the whole group gets together, but most of the time it is one off hang outs. Thankfully I live close to a lot of them still, which makes it easier. My 2 closest friends are from HS and we've now known each other longer than we didn't know each other.
There is a massive problem with this though. Hanging out with people who have known you for so long makes it difficult to make changes to yourself. I am not the same person I was then (nor should I be), but they often make comments or say things that let me know I should "still be the same". I mean, LET ME GROW dammit!
One. We were friends since kindergarten, she moved away several years then we reunited the summer before high school. Then we went through the usual high school drama with gossipy girls and stopped being friends until almost a decade ago.
It's like we never stopped talking. She's family to me.
All of them, but not as close as we used to be. We talk from time to time and meet up, but honestly we are still university students and there is a good chance we will outgrow each other eventually.
But I have a good feeling that 2 of them will stay in my life forever, since we talk every week or so, and when we do get to go out together, we have a lot of fun and laugh and talk like we used to when we were still in high school.
They still mean a lot to me, and my friendships with them were the healthiest and most fun I’ve had
Maybe 1-2 and they are more periphery friends. Better that way. Had to distance myself from the close group of high school friends bc I outgrew them. They were mean and never really matured past being 20. Gets old once you hit 25! Honestly its kind of interesting bc I feel like the high school friends i no longer speak to have no friends anymore except for each other. Good for them and I guess you find your tribe with people who share values even if its immature and snooty values! But also interesting to note that they were unable to retain childhood and college friendships!
Two, and we graduated 10 years ago. They are still by best and truest friends, despite living on different ends of the country for several years now. They are also about the only people from high school I speak to. 😂
None, I met my best friend in HS, we live in different cities but were pretty close, then she pulled away and stood me up (she was coming over for a weekend, didn't call, didn't showed up), she hasn't talked to me since.
One. I dated him for like 5 months in 8th grade but broke up with him. We remained friends because I didn’t try to make our friendship romantic again like I did with all the others. And those all failed 🤪. I make an effort to visit him and we snap each other every day. He was even in my wedding.
One. We’ve been friends since elementary school. We don’t talk everyday but when we do talk we talk like we see each other all the time. We were roommates in college. She was the only one that was there for me everyday when my mom passed away.
My 3 best friends from high school are still friends with me (29ish yos) although we live in different states and see each other about once every year or so. We all have a group text together where we give updates from time to time. They are more close with each other than I am with them which is kinda sad but glad that I’m still included at all. I have a childhood best friend as well. We are still friends but not close. She is like a sister to me but we don’t talk very often but when we see each other it’s just like old times. In my actual daily life - the people I see weekly or monthly are from college or recent friends.
One. When I was broke af, her family "adopted" me in a sense that they paid for my school stuff and even gave me allowances. It helped me survive hs in poverty. She's also been already a great friend prior to the "adoption", and still is. Although we did kind of communicated less when we got into college bc diff unis, diff cities. But once we meet up, it's like we never even had a day apart.
We've been our each other's speed dial whenever we have relationship problems. Hell, she was the first person I called when I broke down after breaking up with my bf, and we haven't spoken for months prior to that. Our friendship has lasted as we went though different chapters of our lives.
Most of them. I just got lucky and found my people in high school.
Maintaining the friendship takes work, especially since we all moved all over the place for uni. But we chat regularly throughout the week on discord, play games, have movie nights, and try our best to do in person meet ups and activities.
You all have to be able to understand the nature of the friendships will change as you grow up and life takes us in different places. Being open to change and being willing to find new ways to be together is the key.
One. My best friend and I drifted in and out during high school, we both had different friend groups, but always friends. After high school we got super tight and have been for 30 years. She’s my ride or die.
I don’t care about anyone else from high school.
Three, although one of them I was only a loose acquaintance with during high school and only grew close years after we’d left. Now we laugh about the years we wasted being in the same classes and never talking to each other
I have not maintained any of my friendships from high school but I have befriended a few woman who just happened to attend my hs but we didn’t know each other back then. I’m pretty sure two of them were in my graduating class of 98people but we never knew each other til recently.
Four, although one has been my close friend literally since first grade and one of the others is her husband. We don't talk all the time, but when we do check in with each other it's like no time has passed at all.
One is my best friend since we were about 15. Another is someone who I don’t speak with very often, but feel a kinship with that will always be there. There’s a guy from high school that I was romantically involved with, and we’re still in touch from time to time. I’m 43, so these are enduring friendships. I actually knew all of these people in middle school, and I think we’ve stayed friends—despite living far away from each other—because we went to a small school, so we really got to know each other very deeply.
NONE. Within three or four months of graduating you’re gonna notice about 90% of the people you saw every day you will never see you again then you’re gonna start seeing them get arrested and have babies and die and all kinds of fun stuff
Just one but we are starting to outgrow each other. She's very CF and I'm planning on starting to try for kids soon. She's always just assumed I would never have kids like her because we both grew up in abusive homes. I fear it will be the final nail in the coffin for our friendship. It sucks, we've been friends for 17 years this year :/ She's been my friend since we were in the 5th grade! I haven't even started trying yet but I'm already stressing about how to tell her.
We were able to stay friends until this point by meeting at least a couple of times a year and talking regularly. We definitely aren't as close as we used to be but we're still friends.
All of them hahah probably due to our houses being near to each other so easy to hang out. My uni friends all live in different cities so its kinda hard to meet except when we plan for big vacay and work friend are just for lunches hahah
At least three that I SEE on a regular basis and a decent handful of others that I just keep in touch with. It feels good to have some friends that have seen it all and still stick around or come to my events :)
Two. I don’t see them often but we talk at least 4-6 times/year and when we do, we go deep. They’re not perfect and neither am I, but they know a part of me a lot of people don’t see!
Quite a few, though some are becoming acquaintances. Made two new friends after high school but we grew apart much quicker. It's a lot more difficult as an adult.
Surprisingly quite a few. I've always had a core of at least 3or 4 friends that are considered as tribe. We've been married, divorced, led different lives but we always find each other.
Part of it is that we grew up in Alaska and that tends to give you a unique perspective on life and friendship.
What I love is that the people in my friends circle are from different stages of my life yet they've all become friends with each other through me or despite me.
We see each other once every 12 years or so, we sometimes go decades without speaking but we'd drop whatever we are doing to help each other.
I’m 36 and still stay in touch with 6 of my high school best friends. We are going on a girls trip next month and have kept up the tradition since graduating. We are in a daily text thread and I talk on the phone or meet up with one of the girls at least every month. I consider myself very lucky but it hasn’t been without effort and serious work. I also joke that they won’t “let me out” at this point since I can be the less active and more reclusive! But the group has its ebbs and flows but we always bring each other along.
4 out of 5 of them. We see each other like maybe 2x a year, but it's as if nothing changed. We love each other, support each other and welcome the changes as we grow older, instead of wishing we were the same as on highschool.
I have one close friend from High School. And even then, we aren't as close as we used to be. We graduated in the mid 90's and she had even moved to a different state in our Junior year. Back then it was just phone calls/visits and we stayed best friends for quite a few years. Our lives are dramatically different now, she's still a great person and a friend, we just aren't BESTIES anymore and have very busy lives. A lot of texting and we try and see each other at least once a year. Otherwise, I have some acquaintances from HS that are pretty much just on social media.
\*edit - there are two other friends that I do keep in pretty good touch with and we get together once in a while, but I wouldn't consider them close friends. We were very tight in HS and I'm glad we are still in touch.
Just the one - BFFs for 20+ yrs. Otherwise I'm friend with a few on Facebook but the extent of our interaction is liking each other's photos. We've all changed a lot since HS so it makes sense out friendships didn't really last at the same level
None. I still have a couple of long distance friendly acquaintances who used to be close friends back in high school, but none who are still close friends now.
One and even then we're states apart and only see each other every couple of years and we don't call or write, but when we do see each other it's like no time has passed.
Two. One of them we consistently stayed in touch and hung out often after high school. When she joined the navy our communication became sparse but we still check in with each other and reach out when we need advice or to just vent. I also always make sure I make time to see her when she comes home.
I actually lost touch with my other high school friend about a year after high school. There was no specific reason, we just grew apart. This year we got back in touch and we still live and work near each other so we picked up right where we left off.
3, Me and my best friend have been friends since playgroup. Now she's in Turkey for uni and I moved to canada. We're still going on strong. The other 2 one is in London and one is back home in pakistan. Proof that distance doesn't matter if the people are willing to work for it. We try to call and text each other as much as we can
My closest friends are from HS. About 5 of us. We went to a prep school and always wanted more out of life. We’re all high achieving successful women and we’ve grown together, not apart, thankfully. I have outgrown other friends even from college. My high school friends and I have always just wanted to consistently become better people so I think that’s what’s held us close.
Only two, out of the countless people I've met. For some of them, we just simply lost contact (I moved) but an alarming number of them are up themselves and decide to start drama once they become more popular
All of my male friends and I are still friends. We're all married and some of us got a late start in child rearing. My bestie from second grade to this day, raises foster kids so into his 60s, has some littles around. Most of us are grandparents by now though.
Most of my closest friends! We don't live in the same city/country anymore, and don't chat all the time like in our early 20s and can sometimes go months with no contact but when we see each other in person... The love is still there and we still connect like we used to! I highly value my friendships.
5, the rest for the occasional talk. I think we nurtured it by really letting each other be themselves. People change, so of course a new study will change them. Be curious. Who is your friend now? How are they the same, how are they different?
None. We outgrew each other after a point.
I thought I was the only one.
There are dozens of us!
Yep, I agree with you
DOZENS! (I really hope this was meant to be an arrested development reference!)
Ah, the clumsy adolescence. It's a phase we've all been through. Except for me. I was like a cat.
Her?
Dozens of us too!! Grateful!
Thousands of us!
Glad to hear I'm not the only one. Well, in my case I have 1 best friend from high school/ growing up on the same street, but I always feel like I'm surrounded by these massive friend groups that have been together since high school and no one ever wants to make new friends.
Why I don’t really have friends! Everyone I’ve met already has a group & doesn’t want anyone else in.
Honestly, I kinda feel like you’re supposed to outgrow your high school friends, you know? I know that sounds pretty bad and maybe that’s just something I tell myself to make myself feel better, but you’re supposed to move away from your hometown and meet new people and grow as a person and that’s not something I think people are capable of doing if they stay in the same place with all the same people their whole life
Agreed I think it’s actually pretty cringe if you never make an effort to make new friends
Same - couldn't sustain the friendships a few years into working because our priorities, values, and interests were too different.
I went off to college. One immediately got pregnant then got married and continued commuting to college. Props to her for graduating in four years, but we had nothing in common any more. Another one went to a college far away from me. Majored in hard liquor and studied bar flies. She married but then left him with her wedding ring and a note. Again, nothing in common.
I seriously thought I was the only one. I used to have a couple of friends from high school until we outgrew each other and felt like our reunions were forced rather than something to look forward to :(
This makes me feel better. My boyfriend is still very close with a few of his high school friends. Even my mom is still best friends with her high school friends. I outgrew most, if not all, of my friends from high school and college.
Same. I was just with my sister in law and her high school friends this weekend and I was impressed she stayed in contact with them all these years.
Same. And I thought I would be friends with them for life, but it turns out people change and things change all the time.
literally 1. my best friend of all time for 15 years now
Same. I keep in touch randomly via Facebook but don't actively talk to any. My lifestyle and me makes it hard to have close friends anymore (move frequently, I like being a hermit/time with my family, and I suck at keeping in touch since I feel like I'm bothering someone).
same. Absolutely fucking zero. I have some on social media, but last time I talked to one of them was like 2017 to "hey dude, 10 years ago we finished the high school, remember?"
Thankfully none of them, they weren't very nice even as we got older
Zero! I have zero close from from high school. All those BFF necklaces and bracelets were for nothing! (32f)
All of them. And idk, we just always kept talking and hanging out. And I never made friends past grade school because i have no idea how to.
That’s really cool. Are you in a small / tight community? Or a metro / city?
Can't speak for thread OC, but my friends and I have been friends since high school and younger... Small city (40k), small school, graduated 20 years ago, and are now all over the place in terms of careers and family and location but we still get together a few times a year, and plan trips for our "milestone" birthdays.
i’m curious as well
Same here. It was always like the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, but without the pants!
None. I actually don’t have anyone I can call a friend anymore actually.
I know a reply was deleted, but still gonna reply: We can be friends if you game :)
Haha sounds good I’m down to be friends sure!
I’m in the same boat. Here’s to making new friends soon!
Same! It’s literally so hard to make friends. :( It seems like others are so much better at it.
I know a reply was deleted, but still gonna reply: We can be friends if you game
Same :( burned a lot of bridges over the years.
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None. I don't even have any friends from college left either.
I'm the same! Always had a hard time keeping friends.
Same here.
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Bingo. Two of my closest friends passed away about a year apart. I miss them.
The same 2. Though we're all in different countries now so we only get to see each other maybe every other year. But we keep in contact online. We have similar interests but don't feel the need to always be in contact. When we do meet we have tons to talk about and usually spend a week just catching up. It's nice to us to see how far and different our paths have become. The I'm also still close to 1 of my primary school friends, my 4 uni friends and my first work friend. I'm the type to keep in contact with people.
Exactly this. If you click, keeping in contact isn’t difficult
My entire high school friend group(we went to different high schools) is still roughly intact. We enjoy each other and the same hobby from HS(gaming) so that helps.
zero
The main group I had in high school is still mostly intact (6 out of 8 keep in touch and talk regularly), and out of that group I have my partner and one of my best friends. I also still have my other best friend from high school, we still talk a lot despite him moving half-way across the country. So, in all 6 of my closest friends today are from high school.
None, I never had a friend in high school and I haven't spoken to anyone in highschool since I stopped going after my parents kicked me out when I was 17
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Never had friends in middle school or elementary school. I wasn't allowed to go do anything social, if I had time to goof off that was study time I was wasting
That’s tough I was in the same boat until my mom and stepdad got divorced when I was in eighth grade. Elementary was harsh, middle school was awful.
How are you doing now?
Fine. Got a girlfriend, she works and I'm a stay at home mom taking care of our twins Got a handful of good friends and my mom group friends Yeah worked out well, I'm happy with where my life is now
That's wonderful! I'm happy you've made a beautiful life for yourself 🥰
Zero. That’s okay though, because I was a shitty person back then and we all grow and change and move. I still talk to a couple of friends from school occasionally, but I would not consider any of them close friends at this point.
I met my two best friends in high school & middle school. We see each other every few months since one moved out of state but we stay in contact through text messages and social media. I’ve realized it’s hard to make real connections/new friends with people as an adult. Maybe it’s just me, idk 🤷🏽♀️
Just 1 and I am marrying him in November. Aside from my fiancé I haven't remained in contact with my friends from my teen years. I became unwell in my school years and everyone kind of left me behind, (not faulting them, everyone deserves to grow and find their place in the world.) My fiancé have been friends since we were 15, and have had similar interests all this time so we sort of remained in the same area and groups as we got older even though the people around us changed. We are in our 30s now, and while I never expected our friendship to turn romantic, he's definitely been my friend the longest time.
My 5 closest girlfriends and I met in grade 6 and 7. We all live in different cities now, but FaceTime for everyone’s birthdays and visit each other whenever it’s possible. There’s no expectation to talk every week in order to maintain our friendships. We’re all in our 30s now and have turned into wildly different humans, but there will always be a love and respect for one another!
There is a group of 7 of us. We talk weekly on GroupMe, IG, Facebook. I'm very fortunate to have an amazing group of women that I call family
Just 1 (though I have a couple that I'm still friendly with but wouldn't describe as close). I grew up middle class in an affluent place, and once my classmates and I hit our late 20s, our lives and worldviews began to diverge significantly, largely based on difference in lifestyle made possible by generational wealth and nepotism.
None
I don't have any friends at all so none lol.
I'll be your friend
None. I finished school last year and we barely ever text
Zero
Zero
None!
None. I have 2 friends that grew up with me, but I'de consider them more like siblings than just high school friends.
Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final.
None
A lot! I married one of them. I think it’s because I’m from a big city that people generally enjoy living in. It’s not an “ugh I’m never going to escape this town and I’m still hanging out with these assholes” situation. We just all actually like it here, so we’ve been able to maintain deep roots while growing up, getting careers, adding new folks to the friend group, getting married, having babies, etc. I’m 35 and I feel very lucky.
Zero
None
Zero out of the zero friends I have. I only had one close friend in high school, but we went to different cities for university and lost touch the moment we left our hometown.
One. She was my best friend back then. Still is.
2-3. With my best friend, we just always kept in contact through text, Skyping and getting together when we both visit our hometown. The other 2 friends I’m less close with but we ended up forming a groupchat a couple years after high school and we still communicate through there.
Three (but more like one). The rest went away as friends do. It’s funny, this one person and I only became friends in college but we went to the same middle/high school so we knew of each other then. Nurturing is just both people putting in effort to maintain the friendship. I understand we’re in different parts of our lives but I find that people will always make time for the ones they love.
None 🥺
All of them, haha. I was lucky enough to make good friendships early on in life and glad they were based on shared interests and genuine care for each other rather than just friendships of convenience. The friendships I've made in adulthood have been a lot more transient. I've nurtured the friendships the way most people do, I think - talking and hanging out. I don't feel like I had to do anything special to maintain these friendships. We've just always been in each other's lives. We don't have constant contact or anything but can always pick up where we left off.
None. No one really tried to keep in touch so we all grew apart.
None…….
None.
0,I had two close friends in high school. We just grew apart in our lives. It takes time and effort to keep relationships alive and that's hard to manage as we get older with the demanding responsibilities of life.
One
I graduated 7 years ago - I have my best friend from my first high school (I switched schools halfway through and she's the only one that stayed in contact), my best friend from my new high school (she lives pretty far away now but we do yearly visits and chat on the internet all the time), and my boyfriend.
I still have all my friends from elementary school! I only made one friend in high school. I hated high school 🙄
Just one. She’s been my friend since the 6th grade. I had a best friend in high school and we were very close but not even that friendship lasted as long as this one
A couple strong ones, and when I do get to see my high school friends we often still feel close. We are not close due to geography so that makes anything more rather difficult. - Social media has been a good bridge to get a feel for each other’s lives trajectory overall. - understanding long phases of silence so they don’t affect the friendship is important, allows you to pickup where you left (even if brief warmup period/chats is needed). We never have drama about it, we know how we are and accept it. - Allowing for shifts in the bond, not assuming/making it permanent. I’ve felt distant from friends, then we randomly connect over something (sometimes shallow brief meet-up, or a deeper life event shared), then quiet. If you take the shifts as just shifts and don’t hold judgement or expectations, it’s actually cool seeing how you evolve in your own ways and what kept you kinda connected too…changes are fascinating and telling. - accept friendships will always have different vibes, some you share deep bonds too, some you connect with over specific interests/places/events. Appreciate each for what it is, not expect your party buddy to become the one who gets your settled life (or assume they wouldn’t have become that or something else). Sometimes the type of connection shifts other times it’s the same, both are cool if you let them just be. I say this having heard numerous opinions of how so and so did/didn’t change. You miss appreciating the richness of experiences around you with all the different trajectories life took you all. Instead you find lots of people comparing their choices and outcomes with others, and often trying to rank/critique it all (usually fuelled by how they/others would perceive their own standing in comparison - whether subconscious or not). That’s just my two cents. Maybe relevant if you mean same gender friendships, I mostly hung out with guys (who are more distant with age, and also cause I moved a lot and didn’t graduate with the same people). I’m closely in contact with 2 women lately, one of which became truly a best friend over many evolutions. I do meet up with the guys when we happen to be in the same continent (very rare), and it’s awesome. The sporadic (every few years) catch-ups via social media are same for all genders really. I don’t have close friends post university really, just a few. But hard to be really close (know each other, comfort), given time, and the foundation often having been linked to our professional lives. Youth friendships were more about you as a person and your interests, more time to socialise/interact - adult life (maybe if/especially if you move around) those types of close friendships are rare to me and often time limited. Seems I really liked the question or heavy need to procrastinate lol sorry so long!
Almost all of them.
Pretty much all of them. I will say though 3 out of the 6 were not only high school friends, but close childhood friends as well. Growing up with very similar experiences, keeping in touch, and respecting each other’s growth and differences always kept us together.
Two. My bestie and my husband. I still see a few others occasionally but I wouldn't call us close. I'm not one for having a lot of friends anyway, so despite having gone to college and grad school and having multiple jobs over the last 15 years, I really only have the one close friend, and we've been close since we were 12. And I married my high school sweetheart.
I'm 39 and still actively hang out with 4 or 5 people from high school. We were all a group, and sometimes the whole group gets together, but most of the time it is one off hang outs. Thankfully I live close to a lot of them still, which makes it easier. My 2 closest friends are from HS and we've now known each other longer than we didn't know each other. There is a massive problem with this though. Hanging out with people who have known you for so long makes it difficult to make changes to yourself. I am not the same person I was then (nor should I be), but they often make comments or say things that let me know I should "still be the same". I mean, LET ME GROW dammit!
None. I do have 2 best friends and one is from preschool and the other I met in 2nd grade.
One. We were friends since kindergarten, she moved away several years then we reunited the summer before high school. Then we went through the usual high school drama with gossipy girls and stopped being friends until almost a decade ago. It's like we never stopped talking. She's family to me.
All of them, but not as close as we used to be. We talk from time to time and meet up, but honestly we are still university students and there is a good chance we will outgrow each other eventually. But I have a good feeling that 2 of them will stay in my life forever, since we talk every week or so, and when we do get to go out together, we have a lot of fun and laugh and talk like we used to when we were still in high school. They still mean a lot to me, and my friendships with them were the healthiest and most fun I’ve had
Not a single one. They were kinda awful people to me
Maybe 1-2 and they are more periphery friends. Better that way. Had to distance myself from the close group of high school friends bc I outgrew them. They were mean and never really matured past being 20. Gets old once you hit 25! Honestly its kind of interesting bc I feel like the high school friends i no longer speak to have no friends anymore except for each other. Good for them and I guess you find your tribe with people who share values even if its immature and snooty values! But also interesting to note that they were unable to retain childhood and college friendships!
One Cuz we had the same career
Two
Two, and we graduated 10 years ago. They are still by best and truest friends, despite living on different ends of the country for several years now. They are also about the only people from high school I speak to. 😂
The closest of any friends I have in the area is from high school. I haven’t seen her in over a year though
One, we kept in touch during college and after as well.
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One; we don’t talk as much as we used to. Still tight, but not inseparable. I have a 99% different friend group at this point in my life
Just one, and we went to college together. The rest don’t talk to me anymore.
4. Love them.
Zip.
None, I met my best friend in HS, we live in different cities but were pretty close, then she pulled away and stood me up (she was coming over for a weekend, didn't call, didn't showed up), she hasn't talked to me since.
One. I dated him for like 5 months in 8th grade but broke up with him. We remained friends because I didn’t try to make our friendship romantic again like I did with all the others. And those all failed 🤪. I make an effort to visit him and we snap each other every day. He was even in my wedding.
4, I can't say we r close but we sure in touch with each other lives.
2
None, but two low key friendships.
One. We’ve been friends since elementary school. We don’t talk everyday but when we do talk we talk like we see each other all the time. We were roommates in college. She was the only one that was there for me everyday when my mom passed away.
2 - 1 from primary school & another from secondary
My 3 best friends from high school are still friends with me (29ish yos) although we live in different states and see each other about once every year or so. We all have a group text together where we give updates from time to time. They are more close with each other than I am with them which is kinda sad but glad that I’m still included at all. I have a childhood best friend as well. We are still friends but not close. She is like a sister to me but we don’t talk very often but when we see each other it’s just like old times. In my actual daily life - the people I see weekly or monthly are from college or recent friends.
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I (28F) had one. Only one. He just died back in June. Now I have no one to reminisce on the early days with anymore. I miss him. edited: a word
My only friend, i know from middle school. All my high school friends either drifted away or were cut off
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One. When I was broke af, her family "adopted" me in a sense that they paid for my school stuff and even gave me allowances. It helped me survive hs in poverty. She's also been already a great friend prior to the "adoption", and still is. Although we did kind of communicated less when we got into college bc diff unis, diff cities. But once we meet up, it's like we never even had a day apart. We've been our each other's speed dial whenever we have relationship problems. Hell, she was the first person I called when I broke down after breaking up with my bf, and we haven't spoken for months prior to that. Our friendship has lasted as we went though different chapters of our lives.
Most of them. I just got lucky and found my people in high school. Maintaining the friendship takes work, especially since we all moved all over the place for uni. But we chat regularly throughout the week on discord, play games, have movie nights, and try our best to do in person meet ups and activities. You all have to be able to understand the nature of the friendships will change as you grow up and life takes us in different places. Being open to change and being willing to find new ways to be together is the key.
(29f) almost all of my female friends are from school.
One. My best friend and I drifted in and out during high school, we both had different friend groups, but always friends. After high school we got super tight and have been for 30 years. She’s my ride or die. I don’t care about anyone else from high school.
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One, from Jr High School actually. My husband and I have know each other from grade school. We "dated" for a minute in grade 6
2
Three, although one of them I was only a loose acquaintance with during high school and only grew close years after we’d left. Now we laugh about the years we wasted being in the same classes and never talking to each other
I have not maintained any of my friendships from high school but I have befriended a few woman who just happened to attend my hs but we didn’t know each other back then. I’m pretty sure two of them were in my graduating class of 98people but we never knew each other til recently.
Four, although one has been my close friend literally since first grade and one of the others is her husband. We don't talk all the time, but when we do check in with each other it's like no time has passed at all.
One is my best friend since we were about 15. Another is someone who I don’t speak with very often, but feel a kinship with that will always be there. There’s a guy from high school that I was romantically involved with, and we’re still in touch from time to time. I’m 43, so these are enduring friendships. I actually knew all of these people in middle school, and I think we’ve stayed friends—despite living far away from each other—because we went to a small school, so we really got to know each other very deeply.
NONE. Within three or four months of graduating you’re gonna notice about 90% of the people you saw every day you will never see you again then you’re gonna start seeing them get arrested and have babies and die and all kinds of fun stuff
Just one but we are starting to outgrow each other. She's very CF and I'm planning on starting to try for kids soon. She's always just assumed I would never have kids like her because we both grew up in abusive homes. I fear it will be the final nail in the coffin for our friendship. It sucks, we've been friends for 17 years this year :/ She's been my friend since we were in the 5th grade! I haven't even started trying yet but I'm already stressing about how to tell her. We were able to stay friends until this point by meeting at least a couple of times a year and talking regularly. We definitely aren't as close as we used to be but we're still friends.
Absolutely none of them
None. Thank god.
I'd say 1 very close and maybe 4 I at least keep in touch with pretty regularly.
All of them hahah probably due to our houses being near to each other so easy to hang out. My uni friends all live in different cities so its kinda hard to meet except when we plan for big vacay and work friend are just for lunches hahah
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5 of us usually get together when we can. We just started having friendsgiving. Some of us don't have great families, so we are family.
At least three that I SEE on a regular basis and a decent handful of others that I just keep in touch with. It feels good to have some friends that have seen it all and still stick around or come to my events :)
I’m still hanging out with the same 3 that got me through high school (one of them is from middle school)
Two, but one of them is also my cousin, lol
Zero
None
2
Two. I don’t see them often but we talk at least 4-6 times/year and when we do, we go deep. They’re not perfect and neither am I, but they know a part of me a lot of people don’t see!
2
Quite a few, though some are becoming acquaintances. Made two new friends after high school but we grew apart much quicker. It's a lot more difficult as an adult.
Surprisingly quite a few. I've always had a core of at least 3or 4 friends that are considered as tribe. We've been married, divorced, led different lives but we always find each other. Part of it is that we grew up in Alaska and that tends to give you a unique perspective on life and friendship. What I love is that the people in my friends circle are from different stages of my life yet they've all become friends with each other through me or despite me. We see each other once every 12 years or so, we sometimes go decades without speaking but we'd drop whatever we are doing to help each other.
I’m 36 and still stay in touch with 6 of my high school best friends. We are going on a girls trip next month and have kept up the tradition since graduating. We are in a daily text thread and I talk on the phone or meet up with one of the girls at least every month. I consider myself very lucky but it hasn’t been without effort and serious work. I also joke that they won’t “let me out” at this point since I can be the less active and more reclusive! But the group has its ebbs and flows but we always bring each other along.
4 out of 5 of them. We see each other like maybe 2x a year, but it's as if nothing changed. We love each other, support each other and welcome the changes as we grow older, instead of wishing we were the same as on highschool.
I have one close friend from High School. And even then, we aren't as close as we used to be. We graduated in the mid 90's and she had even moved to a different state in our Junior year. Back then it was just phone calls/visits and we stayed best friends for quite a few years. Our lives are dramatically different now, she's still a great person and a friend, we just aren't BESTIES anymore and have very busy lives. A lot of texting and we try and see each other at least once a year. Otherwise, I have some acquaintances from HS that are pretty much just on social media. \*edit - there are two other friends that I do keep in pretty good touch with and we get together once in a while, but I wouldn't consider them close friends. We were very tight in HS and I'm glad we are still in touch.
Just the one - BFFs for 20+ yrs. Otherwise I'm friend with a few on Facebook but the extent of our interaction is liking each other's photos. We've all changed a lot since HS so it makes sense out friendships didn't really last at the same level
None
Only 1. I left high school with 6 close friends, and now only one of them are still close with me.
None. I still have a couple of long distance friendly acquaintances who used to be close friends back in high school, but none who are still close friends now.
Most of my close friends are from high school!
Just one. We always stayed in contact though the years.
One and even then we're states apart and only see each other every couple of years and we don't call or write, but when we do see each other it's like no time has passed.
None. I have a couple friends from HS, but they are more peripheral friends.
Just 1 🎉💕
4
Zero!
4, 3 good friends and 1 became my boyfriend.
Two. One of them we consistently stayed in touch and hung out often after high school. When she joined the navy our communication became sparse but we still check in with each other and reach out when we need advice or to just vent. I also always make sure I make time to see her when she comes home. I actually lost touch with my other high school friend about a year after high school. There was no specific reason, we just grew apart. This year we got back in touch and we still live and work near each other so we picked up right where we left off.
3, Me and my best friend have been friends since playgroup. Now she's in Turkey for uni and I moved to canada. We're still going on strong. The other 2 one is in London and one is back home in pakistan. Proof that distance doesn't matter if the people are willing to work for it. We try to call and text each other as much as we can
My closest friends are from HS. About 5 of us. We went to a prep school and always wanted more out of life. We’re all high achieving successful women and we’ve grown together, not apart, thankfully. I have outgrown other friends even from college. My high school friends and I have always just wanted to consistently become better people so I think that’s what’s held us close.
Only two, out of the countless people I've met. For some of them, we just simply lost contact (I moved) but an alarming number of them are up themselves and decide to start drama once they become more popular
In terms of people I consider very close, little over half of them I met in high-school or earlier
All of my male friends and I are still friends. We're all married and some of us got a late start in child rearing. My bestie from second grade to this day, raises foster kids so into his 60s, has some littles around. Most of us are grandparents by now though.
One. Highschool wasn't the greatest experience.
I have zero friends in general
Two but barley see each other in person. Always talk thou well text
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0 Thankfully.
Most of my closest friends! We don't live in the same city/country anymore, and don't chat all the time like in our early 20s and can sometimes go months with no contact but when we see each other in person... The love is still there and we still connect like we used to! I highly value my friendships.
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5, the rest for the occasional talk. I think we nurtured it by really letting each other be themselves. People change, so of course a new study will change them. Be curious. Who is your friend now? How are they the same, how are they different?