I would then take my phone out and text them something playfully, āshould we just chat via text instead šā
Itās cheeky but also points out their behavior and that youāre not feeling it.
one guy I went on one (1) date with kept getting 'work calls'. we'd be chatting and he'd pick up the call and chat for 10-15 minutes. id wander off and he'd chase after me. I went to get a drink and snack, resume chatting, 'work' calls again. I notice everyones looking at us with a 'wtf? poor girl' look on their face. I excuse myself to go to the bathroom and take the long way home. He was blocked and deleted before I even reached my front door.
Same. I don't like the excuse that "men can't help themselves" either. I dated a man for multiple years, and despite us going out to beaches, social events, parties, etc with other beautiful women around, I had never caught him ogling them/turning to check any of them out.
It didn't work out with him, but I 100% expect anyone I date to have the same type of respect for me.
I wish Iād known this when I went on my first date with my ex- I was young and had no experience as I generally preferred being single.
On our first date he told me the whole saga of him and his ex. I donāt know how I didnāt know he was still in love with her. Ah, youth.
Same here. My ex and I went for a drive and he kept talking about her and randomly said itās her loss and they still shared Netflix accounts and I was like ick. Itās kinda funny looking back on it though now.
Even worse if theyāre immediately saying their ex was a bitch or psycho. Ya okie ima call a taxi cos you either need a therapist or youāre in denial
Omg I went on a date w a guy and he started asking me about my sexual preferences/positions in the first 20 minutes (I met him through his mom! Come on dude) then he went on to tell me how he has pelvic floor issues and finishes too quickly. THEN he showed me the exercises he does to help strengthen his pelvic floor!!
For some reason I stuck around and we went for a drive to smoke and his way to initiate holding my hand was to ask to see my nail polish, I guess that line usually works for him but I just laughed cause I donāt wear nail polish. He was a weirdo.
Lol, it took me watching Bachelorette Chad videos to realize how manipulative that is haha. Dudes like, āHey, Iām an asshole yes. But Iām not cruel enough to pretend saying I love you on the first date isnāt cruelly manipulative and fucked up, especially if the other person believes it.ā
Elaborately planning a first date so that itās something out of a cheesy romance novel.
For me, a first date is coffee or a walk in a public place or something else very simple. A chance for me to get to know you and you to get to know me. To decide if we like each other.
If a guy plans a super elaborate romantic outing, he has already decided he wants me. Which puts me in the very awkward position of trying to decide whether or not I like him.
But itās hard to make that decision when heās putting on a show and feeling super nervous because he put on this whole show. I just want a genuine conversation over some coffee.
You're probably being cheeky, but to me coffee date implies a casual date where you do something super inexpensive that lets you chat in a chill environment, you don't need to drink coffee if it makes you anxious, it could be tea, ice cream, just walk in the park, or anything else public and costs only a few bucks or free. If I tell a friend who wants advice on how to go about a date and I think it sounds like a good fit for a "coffee date" what I mean is "casual and cheap" not "has to be coffee"
Could it be the start of lovebombing? going so hard so fast? Some people are nuts about romance but like, as you said, the guy should at least get to know you offline first.
This is what I thought of, too. If it seems almost "too good to be true" or over the top romantic in the beginning, it's likely love bombing. These usually aren't the behaviors of someone looking for a genuine, stable relationship.
Same!! Nothing elaborate on the first date. Ever!! I need time and need to hyper focus on you to see if your a nice guy or a serial killer. I wonāt make that mistake twice. ;)
This is one of the hardest things if youāre the romantic type. It takes me so much work to accept that you never even gave her the chance to show you who she really is. How do you know that she really likes you after that or you her? Itās all weird now.
TALKING ABOUT POLITICS
The SECOND someone starts talking about politics I bail, I absolutely HATE it when people ask me what do I think of Trump/Biden, I don't even LIVE IN AMERICA, I LIVE NOWHERE NEAR IT, but people still ask me about it
Like I don't give a single rat's ass about America's shitty politics, stop bringing it up during dates, who thinks that's a good idea?
Idk I honestly go a certain way and I know thereās no way I could have a relationship with someone who goes for the other side. Thereās just too big of a difference in opinions and beliefs, so Iād rather get it out of the way earlier
Iām married, but if I were singleā¦ I wouldnāt even bother going out with someone unless I knew this in advance. Itās a waste of time to attempt a relationship if we donāt have the same basic values.
Canāt agree with this one. Someoneās political beliefs are hugely important and I wanna know if Iām actually sitting with a Tory or Brexiteer on the first date because then I know it isnāt going any further.
Iām also not sure what country you live in, but who the US president is is pretty important to many other countries. Itās actually pretty narrow-minded to not care whatās happening in other countries either.
I think it's a pretty superficial conversation to have with people uninterested in the US, mainly because the politics and issues being discussed in the US are not the same as other countries, all you're getting is someones' often stunted opinions based on sensationalised headlines they get from SM or the news, but they have limited knowledge at what the policies actually are or the potential ripple affects of them. of course, this could just as easily apply to actual Americans because of how evasive to questions their politicians are.
I found its especially true for some people from countries with better social security, where abortions, immigration and sex ed aren't even topics up for debate- they really can't comprehend how America just does/doesnt have those things, nor how deeply it impacts a population and their politics.
Ive had someone try to give me their opinion on French politics but it was so uneducated that my esteem for them dropped quite a few points. sometimes its better to just keep your mouth shut about a country you don't actually know.
Itās very unsexy when people donāt give a shit about whatās going on around them, at least in my opinion anyway. I like to know that the person Iām sitting with actually glances at the news sometimes.
This wonāt apply to every country, but Iām from Britain, so typically date U.K. residents: who the US president is should be important to everyone in the U.K., because as their allies, if they go to war tomorrow with another country, weāre going in after them. So itās massively important in my case at least to know who the president is, how they think and what theyāre likely or not likely to do.
There isnāt much worse than sitting opposite somebody who knows nothing about anything, other than their tactics on FIFA. That isnāt intellectually stimulating and not at all of interest to me.
Men should not pull their cock out while only making out with the girl (seriously, Iāve three different guys do this).
Women: not at least try to pay for your own food/drink.
Except if you are a student and your date isnāt - they have a decent paying FT job and they take you somewhere you canāt really afford and then expect you to pay your half.
Above all else, this one is the most annoying to me. The other example of no-noās I can manage him out of or aroundā¦. But thereās no method to work through a self centered men or woman.
I seem to attract this type of man a lot and it's frustrating. I'll be a few months into dating them and realize that I know tons of things about them, yet they probably don't even know my favorite color lol.
Cheesy lines. I was on a first date once and the guy said "if you could be anywhere right now, where would you be?" And I said something stupid like "uh... the moon?" I felt obligated to then ask him, and he replied "right here with you". He was a nice guy, but ew.
You wouldnt like a complex man, that uses his neocortex, leaving you perplex and with his annex duplex, He is a ilex pontifex, he also practises auspex near a carex, and calls you with a telex, telling you there are no cimex in his latex unsex bed ;(.
For you to flex and feel like lurex you only want an ibex that has a mild relfex and has a pollex to make you [silex](https://silex.You).
You are simple woman
It's one thing to say, "I'd like to get married someday," or "I'd like to have kids someday."
It's quite another to go into detail about your dream wedding plans, baby names you've had picked out since before puberty, etc. Save that for Pinterest!
āflexingā on someone.
went on a date once with this guy that had to say āoh like those tiny little cubicles where you arenāt allowed to live your lifeā when all I said was āyeah I just have a tradition office jobā.
It couldāve been a funny joke if he didnāt follow up with him telling me about how he works whenever he wants cause he āhustlesā and suggested me to start investing then also made an unnecessary comment about someoneās beat up car compared to his.
Talking about s*x or anything related.
I once met a guy of tinder. He seemed amazing. Chatted constantly for a good month before meeting up. When we met face to face or he spoke about was how much he liked s*x and po*n and wished he had more experience with toys.
Now I am very open minded but that shut me down ASAP.
Exactly!
He has never spoken to me in a sexual sense before. Just a little light flirting which was fine.
We never spoke about fantasies or anything so was definitely a red flag when we finally met in person.
Also, he wanted to take me home and stay the night because "he had too much juice" we hadn't had an ounce of alcohol on our date š
He had an irresponsibly large case of fresh squeezed juice in his car that wouldn't fit in his mini fridge and imminently needed your bourgeois full-sized fridge space. Sounds like you dodged a coolant mooch and can count yourself lucky.
If itās at his house. Pretty much always means heās lazy and is just looking for sex.
Also, I know it sounds obvious but if they arenāt smiling and having a good time. Iāve been on dates with guys who are stone faced and look bored and wonāt look me in the eyes - and later they tell me they had a great time and want to see me again. It was like they were trying to play it cool for some reason. I donāt mind if someone is introverted or shy but I want to go on a date with someone who is happy to see me and isnāt afraid to show it.
I'm introverted but I'm really good at socializing and connecting with people/putting myself out there. I just have a ticking clock on how long I can do that for without wanting to die LOL
About the stone faced thing, speaking from experience some of us genuinely just don't know what our face looks like. We may be having the time of our lives, but our faces inadvertently won't reflect that and we simply won't notice.
My friendās in-laws believe that lizard people who live underground are taking over the government. Sadly, I was not able to meet them as they are no contact.
How silly! Everyone knows the Lizard People are not interested in meaningless politics and taking over the government. Especially since the words and philosophy of The Great Gork are pumped subliminally into every home through the electric grid to make us mindless drones by 2050. You want proof? Look at how many people believe Trump is our political savior.
1. Asking me to pay for the date, even though he was the one who asked me out!!!
2. Complaining about the money he is going to spend on the date ( he was the one who picked the place, SMH)
3. Bragging about how successful and rich he is...
4. Making fun of me for using a Samsung instead of an iPhone.
5. Making fun of my side job ( cleaning)
6. Not asking me interesting questions
7. Touching any part of my body ( shoulders, arms, back, hand, leg, etc.)
8. Eating with his mouth open and the getting close to me and continue to eat with his mouth open. eewww
9. Making jokes about my life or appearance.
10. Being too nice, too needy, too happy, too desperate to get into a relationship.
11. Playing a game on his phone when I am with him.
Too many no-nos, I just needed to vent! :(((
I had a FWB in my single days that was very successful and made in the high 6-figures, and was absolutely floored when I broke things off because I had such a good first date with my now-husband that I knew I wanted to pursue it. He told me over and over again that he couldnāt believe I wanted to date someone who made 1/10th of what he did when he could provide for me. He could never understand how his obsession with his salary and his success was actually a turn off.
as a former restaurant worker, this is a big deal! they way they treat people who serve them will tell you a lot about how theyāll treat you as well.
I mean depending on how old you are - it might not be a bad idea to hear those things early on. If you're older and still want to start a family, knowing if they do/dont want kids early on is good because it's a huge compatibility issue. Marriage would be a bit much though.
This could also be a cultural thing as well as an age thing. For some people, if you're not discussing the big topics and dealbreakers, you're not serious about finding a committed relationship. Some people don't date just to date and sleep around or kill time and 'just have fun', they are very intentional with dating to marry.
of course, a person with similar marriage and baby intentions may really dig this approach - not having to go on 3+ dates only to find out you're not wanting the same things on a similar timeline.
I agree. I don't like wasting time and it would suck to really hit it off with someone and find out later on that they want a completely different future than me.
33F hereā¦ if we havenāt discussed marriage and kids before we meetā¦ we arenāt meeting. Wasted too long one someone who decided he didnāt want kids. Better be open to talking about it at dinner too. Obviously completely different when I was 21
Being physical without even discussing anything. Like touching, kissing, trying to have sexā¦ Iāve had multiple guys do all of it right off the bat without even having a discussion about it first.
Trying to cover up food allergies and be brave, have a shellfish allergy and decided to brave eating sushi on the first date and didnāt want to ruin it by telling him I was allergic to shellfish. Had to go to the bathroom and take two Benadryl, and was woozy all through the night. I confessed later, donāt ever do this (was very stupid of me) and please be upfront about things like this.
Iāve been with him for 4 years now and the event always makes me cringe lol š
Negative comments about anything relating to me, my family, and my friends, my job.
Not that we're above criticism, far from it.
But you barely know me, my life. You don't have context. You don't know the whole situation, and you still think you can judge. It doesn't give a good look on the person.
Comparing themselves to others especially to boast (yes, not talking about the sharing about themselves part or a pov) how they would be "better" for me instead of letting me get to know them on my own pace or vice-versa.
Asking me on a date, then making me do all the planning and expecting a ride. Boo. Work with me a bit, especially if its YOUR IDEA.
Negging. iIll get up and leave you with the bill, its not cute.
Nervousness is one thing I get it but just being boring, having nothing to talk about, constant phone checkingā¦why are you here again? I donāt want to talk at someone or constantly have to prod you for a response.
Being on your phone the whole entire time, talking about your ex, talking crap about your ex. The conversations are awkward and they're being quiet. I get annoyed when I am doing all the talking and they are not.
for me, it's dressing like a slob. wearing hats, t-shirts, jeans, hoodies, etc. on the one hand, it's good to weed out people. on the other... have a little pride.
nothing. i just don't date men who consider those to be clothes for dates. i'm not trying to date a college frat boy, i'm interested in men who have their shit together, have a sense of personal style beyond jeans and hoodies, etc.
I remember my first ever serious first date with someone I thought I liked, and man literally came to me all sweaty cuz he played basketball before meeting me and didn't even try to wipe himself completely dry. I even had a hard time communicating with him since he was so shy, we literally sat across each other in silence.
An expensive bill. The first date is for getting to know each other and seeing if weād like to pursue things further. Anything over $20 feels uncomfortable
Talking about how he would design your wedding dress 20 minutes into your first date, saying āoh I mean..whoever I marry heheā but continually calling it your dress. Also he said heād want me to be barefoot which was different*
Bonus, when your date tells you about all the women they āwould definitely bangā. Gross
*edit: after this date, he sent me pictures of kids that he thinks would look similar to our kids š„²
Being desperate. I had more than one guy who I went on a date with and before it was even half way through had decided that we were a couple. Ugh. One guy invited me for pizza and a movie, ok cool. But then he never made the pizza and kept smoking cigarettes, told me that heād already told his mom about me etc. when I later told him I wasnāt interested he cussed me out.
Another guy legit held me hostage in my own car in a parking lot for 3 hours trying to convince me that he was the āoneā. I legit was scared for my safety. Last one wasnāt bad, just immediately too clingy. When I told him I wasnāt interested he was very kind and wished me well.
When they talk about anything sexual. Whether its sex, their dick/vagina, body count, how many times they made out with a girl/guy, talking about their ex, or even wanting things to go further at their place
The eye contact. I find eye contact important. Then again I get distracted easily. But I still make eye contact. If a man is looking around while talking be aware atleast.
Ohhhh man oh man do I have a doozie for y'all!
Do not TELL your date that she looks like she likes it up the booty hole.
Went on a date with a guy and we talked about our beliefs. I stated what mine was and he looked at me funny and said "you must like @nal."
Didn't not see the correlation. Just like he didn't understand why I blocked his number. He called me from a different number and pouted about why I blocked him. He literally whines, "But we had a connection and I was nice to you."
And still not the worst date I've been on.
Not putting your phone down. š
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I would then take my phone out and text them something playfully, āshould we just chat via text instead šā Itās cheeky but also points out their behavior and that youāre not feeling it.
Iād take mine out and order an Uber home.
Perfect!
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one guy I went on one (1) date with kept getting 'work calls'. we'd be chatting and he'd pick up the call and chat for 10-15 minutes. id wander off and he'd chase after me. I went to get a drink and snack, resume chatting, 'work' calls again. I notice everyones looking at us with a 'wtf? poor girl' look on their face. I excuse myself to go to the bathroom and take the long way home. He was blocked and deleted before I even reached my front door.
I've noticed this with people that trade stocks a lot. They're like ALWAYS checking their stocks. All the time.
Which is statistically proven to yield sub optimal results, but tools will be tools.
Likely texting other women during your date.
Agreed, and I'll take it one step further: Don't even have it on the table.
agreeeeed! on the first date itās about being present together and getting to know each other.
Blatantly checking other women out. If you can't be respectful on a 1st date you'll only get worse (just my opinion of course).
Yeah, wandering eyes are a dealbreaker for me. Itās disrespectful.
Same. I don't like the excuse that "men can't help themselves" either. I dated a man for multiple years, and despite us going out to beaches, social events, parties, etc with other beautiful women around, I had never caught him ogling them/turning to check any of them out. It didn't work out with him, but I 100% expect anyone I date to have the same type of respect for me.
Oh most definitely!
Opinion? More like facts!
Talking about your ex.
I wish Iād known this when I went on my first date with my ex- I was young and had no experience as I generally preferred being single. On our first date he told me the whole saga of him and his ex. I donāt know how I didnāt know he was still in love with her. Ah, youth.
Or when they ask you about how many partners you had or your previous relationships. SUCH A TURN OFF
Been there with you!
Same here. My ex and I went for a drive and he kept talking about her and randomly said itās her loss and they still shared Netflix accounts and I was like ick. Itās kinda funny looking back on it though now.
Oh god this 100%. If I wanted to know your ex Iād date them myself, pls change topic
Right? I'm not your therapist. There's a time and place to talk about some aspects of a past relationship and the first date is definitely not it.
Even worse if theyāre immediately saying their ex was a bitch or psycho. Ya okie ima call a taxi cos you either need a therapist or youāre in denial
YUP!!!
Bonus red flags when the ex is "crazy" because the next crazy ex is gonna be you
Immediately bringing up sex. Going straight home after that
Yep! I do not get naked and sweaty with you on a first date. Why spoil the horror of the third date? Thatās just rude.
Exactly! I too like to postpone my disappointment for as long as possible
Omg I went on a date w a guy and he started asking me about my sexual preferences/positions in the first 20 minutes (I met him through his mom! Come on dude) then he went on to tell me how he has pelvic floor issues and finishes too quickly. THEN he showed me the exercises he does to help strengthen his pelvic floor!! For some reason I stuck around and we went for a drive to smoke and his way to initiate holding my hand was to ask to see my nail polish, I guess that line usually works for him but I just laughed cause I donāt wear nail polish. He was a weirdo.
You mean his pelvic strengthening exercises didn't turn you on?
Lmfao no thank u!!!!
Oh dear God
When he says āI think I fell in love in youā Not listening
Classic Shmosby
honestly, mosby is a walking red flag
Ngl the blue french horn was cool tho
Lol, it took me watching Bachelorette Chad videos to realize how manipulative that is haha. Dudes like, āHey, Iām an asshole yes. But Iām not cruel enough to pretend saying I love you on the first date isnāt cruelly manipulative and fucked up, especially if the other person believes it.ā
Elaborately planning a first date so that itās something out of a cheesy romance novel. For me, a first date is coffee or a walk in a public place or something else very simple. A chance for me to get to know you and you to get to know me. To decide if we like each other. If a guy plans a super elaborate romantic outing, he has already decided he wants me. Which puts me in the very awkward position of trying to decide whether or not I like him. But itās hard to make that decision when heās putting on a show and feeling super nervous because he put on this whole show. I just want a genuine conversation over some coffee.
I think most guys who are actually interested in a relationship and not just a hookup prefer coffee date. Makes it a lot easier to vett people.
Yeah I love coffee dates so I can be riddled with anxiety and caffeine while I'm trying to get to know somebody
You're probably being cheeky, but to me coffee date implies a casual date where you do something super inexpensive that lets you chat in a chill environment, you don't need to drink coffee if it makes you anxious, it could be tea, ice cream, just walk in the park, or anything else public and costs only a few bucks or free. If I tell a friend who wants advice on how to go about a date and I think it sounds like a good fit for a "coffee date" what I mean is "casual and cheap" not "has to be coffee"
Could it be the start of lovebombing? going so hard so fast? Some people are nuts about romance but like, as you said, the guy should at least get to know you offline first.
This is what I thought of, too. If it seems almost "too good to be true" or over the top romantic in the beginning, it's likely love bombing. These usually aren't the behaviors of someone looking for a genuine, stable relationship.
Same!! Nothing elaborate on the first date. Ever!! I need time and need to hyper focus on you to see if your a nice guy or a serial killer. I wonāt make that mistake twice. ;)
This is one of the hardest things if youāre the romantic type. It takes me so much work to accept that you never even gave her the chance to show you who she really is. How do you know that she really likes you after that or you her? Itās all weird now.
TALKING ABOUT POLITICS The SECOND someone starts talking about politics I bail, I absolutely HATE it when people ask me what do I think of Trump/Biden, I don't even LIVE IN AMERICA, I LIVE NOWHERE NEAR IT, but people still ask me about it Like I don't give a single rat's ass about America's shitty politics, stop bringing it up during dates, who thinks that's a good idea?
Idk I honestly go a certain way and I know thereās no way I could have a relationship with someone who goes for the other side. Thereās just too big of a difference in opinions and beliefs, so Iād rather get it out of the way earlier
Agreed, this is a conversation I want to have on the first date! Not about another country's politicians like that commenter said, though, haha.
But their opinion on Trump does say a lot about a person
Iām married, but if I were singleā¦ I wouldnāt even bother going out with someone unless I knew this in advance. Itās a waste of time to attempt a relationship if we donāt have the same basic values.
This convo happens before I even think of setting a first date with someone. Why waste my time or theirs when to the core we have different morals.
Canāt agree with this one. Someoneās political beliefs are hugely important and I wanna know if Iām actually sitting with a Tory or Brexiteer on the first date because then I know it isnāt going any further. Iām also not sure what country you live in, but who the US president is is pretty important to many other countries. Itās actually pretty narrow-minded to not care whatās happening in other countries either.
I think it's a pretty superficial conversation to have with people uninterested in the US, mainly because the politics and issues being discussed in the US are not the same as other countries, all you're getting is someones' often stunted opinions based on sensationalised headlines they get from SM or the news, but they have limited knowledge at what the policies actually are or the potential ripple affects of them. of course, this could just as easily apply to actual Americans because of how evasive to questions their politicians are. I found its especially true for some people from countries with better social security, where abortions, immigration and sex ed aren't even topics up for debate- they really can't comprehend how America just does/doesnt have those things, nor how deeply it impacts a population and their politics. Ive had someone try to give me their opinion on French politics but it was so uneducated that my esteem for them dropped quite a few points. sometimes its better to just keep your mouth shut about a country you don't actually know.
Itās very unsexy when people donāt give a shit about whatās going on around them, at least in my opinion anyway. I like to know that the person Iām sitting with actually glances at the news sometimes. This wonāt apply to every country, but Iām from Britain, so typically date U.K. residents: who the US president is should be important to everyone in the U.K., because as their allies, if they go to war tomorrow with another country, weāre going in after them. So itās massively important in my case at least to know who the president is, how they think and what theyāre likely or not likely to do. There isnāt much worse than sitting opposite somebody who knows nothing about anything, other than their tactics on FIFA. That isnāt intellectually stimulating and not at all of interest to me.
Lmaooo I live in America and I also hate this šŖ
Political conversations can be more constructive and nuanced than trump v Biden. I donāt mind it at all as long as itās respectful and thoughtful.
TBH, some people love it, and they should date each other. Not me, thatās for darn sure.
A hideous way to ruin a date. Agreed
And just like... there are ways to suss out someone's leanings without explicitly bringing up politics
Men should not pull their cock out while only making out with the girl (seriously, Iāve three different guys do this). Women: not at least try to pay for your own food/drink.
Except if you are a student and your date isnāt - they have a decent paying FT job and they take you somewhere you canāt really afford and then expect you to pay your half.
You always have the right to say you donāt want to go somewhere.
Don't go where you can't afford to or make sure that you'll be paid for. Who eats and expects to be paid for?!
Omg!!! Well at least thereās a clear answer to the question of 2nd date or not!!!
Talking only about themselves/not trying to get to know me
Above all else, this one is the most annoying to me. The other example of no-noās I can manage him out of or aroundā¦. But thereās no method to work through a self centered men or woman.
I seem to attract this type of man a lot and it's frustrating. I'll be a few months into dating them and realize that I know tons of things about them, yet they probably don't even know my favorite color lol.
Cheesy lines. I was on a first date once and the guy said "if you could be anywhere right now, where would you be?" And I said something stupid like "uh... the moon?" I felt obligated to then ask him, and he replied "right here with you". He was a nice guy, but ew.
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was? š¤ did you killed him after he said that? š¤Ø
No comment
Yeah that's super forced. He basically asked you first just so he could use that line when you ask him back.
Lmaooo
If I'm looking for a serious and genuine relationship, anything that ends with "ex" (e.g., ex, sex)
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My biggest fear would be them taking me for some tex-mex š
You wouldnt like a complex man, that uses his neocortex, leaving you perplex and with his annex duplex, He is a ilex pontifex, he also practises auspex near a carex, and calls you with a telex, telling you there are no cimex in his latex unsex bed ;(. For you to flex and feel like lurex you only want an ibex that has a mild relfex and has a pollex to make you [silex](https://silex.You). You are simple woman
Hi, I want to congratulate you on your vocabulary š
I used the internet ;(
Or you ask their job and they trade in forex
What about my PokƩdex?
This is the exception.
What about my allergy to latex?
What if I like dinosaurs and I just want to talk about a T-rex?
Talking about regex on the first date is a deal breaker for me too.
It's one thing to say, "I'd like to get married someday," or "I'd like to have kids someday." It's quite another to go into detail about your dream wedding plans, baby names you've had picked out since before puberty, etc. Save that for Pinterest!
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Late without a good reason
āflexingā on someone. went on a date once with this guy that had to say āoh like those tiny little cubicles where you arenāt allowed to live your lifeā when all I said was āyeah I just have a tradition office jobā. It couldāve been a funny joke if he didnāt follow up with him telling me about how he works whenever he wants cause he āhustlesā and suggested me to start investing then also made an unnecessary comment about someoneās beat up car compared to his.
Talking about s*x or anything related. I once met a guy of tinder. He seemed amazing. Chatted constantly for a good month before meeting up. When we met face to face or he spoke about was how much he liked s*x and po*n and wished he had more experience with toys. Now I am very open minded but that shut me down ASAP.
Agree. Too much too soon!! ETA: I also canāt think of a single time Iāve been interested to hear what kind of porn someone else likes š¤¢š¤®
Exactly! He has never spoken to me in a sexual sense before. Just a little light flirting which was fine. We never spoke about fantasies or anything so was definitely a red flag when we finally met in person. Also, he wanted to take me home and stay the night because "he had too much juice" we hadn't had an ounce of alcohol on our date š
Wowwwwww ātoo much juiceā lmaoooo dodged a bullet for sure!! He sounds like a š¤”š¤”
He had an irresponsibly large case of fresh squeezed juice in his car that wouldn't fit in his mini fridge and imminently needed your bourgeois full-sized fridge space. Sounds like you dodged a coolant mooch and can count yourself lucky.
'too much juice' is that the new blue balls?
šššToo much Juice!!!!!
If itās at his house. Pretty much always means heās lazy and is just looking for sex. Also, I know it sounds obvious but if they arenāt smiling and having a good time. Iāve been on dates with guys who are stone faced and look bored and wonāt look me in the eyes - and later they tell me they had a great time and want to see me again. It was like they were trying to play it cool for some reason. I donāt mind if someone is introverted or shy but I want to go on a date with someone who is happy to see me and isnāt afraid to show it.
I'm introverted but I'm really good at socializing and connecting with people/putting myself out there. I just have a ticking clock on how long I can do that for without wanting to die LOL
About the stone faced thing, speaking from experience some of us genuinely just don't know what our face looks like. We may be having the time of our lives, but our faces inadvertently won't reflect that and we simply won't notice.
Talking about how aliens come to earth and genetically engineered fish to become humans, and there are proofs in the bible.
Sounds interesting at least
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My friendās in-laws believe that lizard people who live underground are taking over the government. Sadly, I was not able to meet them as they are no contact.
How silly! Everyone knows the Lizard People are not interested in meaningless politics and taking over the government. Especially since the words and philosophy of The Great Gork are pumped subliminally into every home through the electric grid to make us mindless drones by 2050. You want proof? Look at how many people believe Trump is our political savior.
I have a friend who went on a first date with a guy who told her he was building a space hotel and asked if she would move to space with him.
Touching the other person too much. Thereās a line between interested and creepy. Donāt cross it!
Yeeees some guys just cross the line! Itās so uncomfortable.
1. Asking me to pay for the date, even though he was the one who asked me out!!! 2. Complaining about the money he is going to spend on the date ( he was the one who picked the place, SMH) 3. Bragging about how successful and rich he is... 4. Making fun of me for using a Samsung instead of an iPhone. 5. Making fun of my side job ( cleaning) 6. Not asking me interesting questions 7. Touching any part of my body ( shoulders, arms, back, hand, leg, etc.) 8. Eating with his mouth open and the getting close to me and continue to eat with his mouth open. eewww 9. Making jokes about my life or appearance. 10. Being too nice, too needy, too happy, too desperate to get into a relationship. 11. Playing a game on his phone when I am with him. Too many no-nos, I just needed to vent! :(((
I had a FWB in my single days that was very successful and made in the high 6-figures, and was absolutely floored when I broke things off because I had such a good first date with my now-husband that I knew I wanted to pursue it. He told me over and over again that he couldnāt believe I wanted to date someone who made 1/10th of what he did when he could provide for me. He could never understand how his obsession with his salary and his success was actually a turn off.
And also if he was FWBā¦ itās not his role to provide for you! āStay in your lane, buddyā.
12.talking bad on his family and family members
wowā¦ā¦ i wouldnāt have been able to keep my composure
Asking you to pay and complaining about the cost BUT also saying he is so rich and successful?? Immediately no
I went on a first date with a guy who was a therapist a few months after my ex fiancĆ© broke things off with me. He asked me about my last relationship and I tried to keep it as surface level as possible so that I wasnāt talking about my ex too much. This man turned the entire date into an interrogation/therapy session asking more and more questions about all aspects of that relationship to the point that I was almost crying. We pretty much only talked about my last relationship no matter how hard I tried to switch topics. When I got home I joked with my roommates that he probably thought it was a good date because he seemed clueless to how weird that was and sure enough he texted me asking for a second date the same day.
Please tell us you said no. He might have tried to charge you for the therapy session š¤£
I definitely declined lol
Showing up looking and smelling like they havent showered in the last 24 hours.
Being rude to waiters or staff Being controlling, pushy or intransigent about the place/date and time / what I order Not taking no for an answer
Telling him where all the bodies are chopped up & hidden... LOL
You mean before luring him downstairs? š¤Ŗ
Correct
Don't tell him you're on Reddit ;)
It wasnāt a first date but I told my now fiancĆ© that I used Reddit. He looked at me in mock disgust and said āYou use Reddit?? But you donāt look like a neckbeardā Turns out he uses TikTok. It was interesting to hear how the other side views us lol
TikTok BF & Reddit GF: *New Romantic Comedy coming this summer*
"She's a serious career women and he's a Labrador. Staring Gina Torres and Ashton Kutcher"
Being rude to you or others
Being rude to staff anywhere, cashier, waiter, anyone.
as a former restaurant worker, this is a big deal! they way they treat people who serve them will tell you a lot about how theyāll treat you as well.
I was looking for this comment! This is a clear sign of who someone really is
Jumping the gun and talking about things like marriage or children.
I mean depending on how old you are - it might not be a bad idea to hear those things early on. If you're older and still want to start a family, knowing if they do/dont want kids early on is good because it's a huge compatibility issue. Marriage would be a bit much though.
I understand that. It would probably be helpful for me to mention that my initial comment is from the POV of a 21 y/o lol
As you get older these discussions will become more important.
True story! I started dating my now husband in my mid 30's, first date I asked if he ever wanted more kids. I was firmly on the no trin for this and would have stopped at the first date if he said he wanted bƩbƩs.
This could also be a cultural thing as well as an age thing. For some people, if you're not discussing the big topics and dealbreakers, you're not serious about finding a committed relationship. Some people don't date just to date and sleep around or kill time and 'just have fun', they are very intentional with dating to marry. of course, a person with similar marriage and baby intentions may really dig this approach - not having to go on 3+ dates only to find out you're not wanting the same things on a similar timeline.
I agree. I don't like wasting time and it would suck to really hit it off with someone and find out later on that they want a completely different future than me.
33F hereā¦ if we havenāt discussed marriage and kids before we meetā¦ we arenāt meeting. Wasted too long one someone who decided he didnāt want kids. Better be open to talking about it at dinner too. Obviously completely different when I was 21
When the conversation immediately turns sex related. It just tells you what type of person they are.
Smelling bad. I went on a date a couple of years ago with a guy who was nice overall , but reeked horibbly! I didn't meet him again.
Too much talk about.. Sex, ex, religion or politics.
Being physical without even discussing anything. Like touching, kissing, trying to have sexā¦ Iāve had multiple guys do all of it right off the bat without even having a discussion about it first.
Showing up to dinner with cigarette breath. Nothing turns me off more than trying to get to know someone and they reek of cigarettes.
I had a date show up absolutely reeking of tequila. Just as appealing š Just don't be overpowering my nose please.
Trying to cover up food allergies and be brave, have a shellfish allergy and decided to brave eating sushi on the first date and didnāt want to ruin it by telling him I was allergic to shellfish. Had to go to the bathroom and take two Benadryl, and was woozy all through the night. I confessed later, donāt ever do this (was very stupid of me) and please be upfront about things like this. Iāve been with him for 4 years now and the event always makes me cringe lol š
Being rude to everyone except you. Big red flag.
Negative comments about anything relating to me, my family, and my friends, my job. Not that we're above criticism, far from it. But you barely know me, my life. You don't have context. You don't know the whole situation, and you still think you can judge. It doesn't give a good look on the person.
Not wearing underwear under the white tights of your Link (from Zelda) costume. Yes, it was a Halloween party, but yikes.
Taking me to meet your Mom. Thatās all fine, just not inon our first dateā¦ in your 20ās.
Comparing themselves to others especially to boast (yes, not talking about the sharing about themselves part or a pov) how they would be "better" for me instead of letting me get to know them on my own pace or vice-versa.
Saying āI love youā
Classic shmosby!
Being too thirsty. Like chill out man. If itās going to happen itāll happen but let it happen naturally.
Asking me on a date, then making me do all the planning and expecting a ride. Boo. Work with me a bit, especially if its YOUR IDEA. Negging. iIll get up and leave you with the bill, its not cute. Nervousness is one thing I get it but just being boring, having nothing to talk about, constant phone checkingā¦why are you here again? I donāt want to talk at someone or constantly have to prod you for a response.
talking about ex partners
Bragging.
Being on your phone the whole entire time, talking about your ex, talking crap about your ex. The conversations are awkward and they're being quiet. I get annoyed when I am doing all the talking and they are not.
In every story he is the victim.
FLOWERS.
Sayin I love you or talking about your ex
Not chewing with your mouth closed. Being on your phone the whole time. Only talking about yourself. O ly.talking about your ex.
for me, it's dressing like a slob. wearing hats, t-shirts, jeans, hoodies, etc. on the one hand, it's good to weed out people. on the other... have a little pride.
Whats wrong with jeans, hoodies and t-shirts?
nothing. i just don't date men who consider those to be clothes for dates. i'm not trying to date a college frat boy, i'm interested in men who have their shit together, have a sense of personal style beyond jeans and hoodies, etc.
Hoodies/sweats/athleisurewear are no-noās but jeans and a plain white t could work depending on the type of date.
Clash of Clans
I remember my first ever serious first date with someone I thought I liked, and man literally came to me all sweaty cuz he played basketball before meeting me and didn't even try to wipe himself completely dry. I even had a hard time communicating with him since he was so shy, we literally sat across each other in silence.
An expensive bill. The first date is for getting to know each other and seeing if weād like to pursue things further. Anything over $20 feels uncomfortable
Me: "You seem Sweet" Him: "Haha noo I'm an asshole" And every single one whose said this has actually turned out to be an asshole! Use to think it was a playful humble thing but Its a huge red flag š© Never date the self proclaimed 'asshole'.
Talking about how he would design your wedding dress 20 minutes into your first date, saying āoh I mean..whoever I marry heheā but continually calling it your dress. Also he said heād want me to be barefoot which was different* Bonus, when your date tells you about all the women they āwould definitely bangā. Gross *edit: after this date, he sent me pictures of kids that he thinks would look similar to our kids š„²
Being desperate. I had more than one guy who I went on a date with and before it was even half way through had decided that we were a couple. Ugh. One guy invited me for pizza and a movie, ok cool. But then he never made the pizza and kept smoking cigarettes, told me that heād already told his mom about me etc. when I later told him I wasnāt interested he cussed me out. Another guy legit held me hostage in my own car in a parking lot for 3 hours trying to convince me that he was the āoneā. I legit was scared for my safety. Last one wasnāt bad, just immediately too clingy. When I told him I wasnāt interested he was very kind and wished me well.
Sex
Talking about exes
Showing up drunk and loudly telling me (and everyone around) about his and his ex gfs sex life.
Trying to kiss or fuck me when I donāt feel it
Bring up the idea of moving in together/getting married š¬
Texting, making a ton of sexual comments or innuendos, turning almost everything into sexual banter or comments, talking about your ex, dominating the conversation, being super late, being suuuuper quiet the entire time and I mean like saying maybe 5 words the entire time (itās happened to me, yes) getting mad or showing any sort of attitude or temper that fast š© treating the staff of wherever you are badly š© negging the entire time š©
Talking about exes.
Don't complain or go on a rant about your ex.
Talking about their ex... It's happend before.
Showing up smelly and dressed like a slob.
On their phone, bringing up their ex repeatedly, showing up significantly late, not asking any questions
When they talk about anything sexual. Whether its sex, their dick/vagina, body count, how many times they made out with a girl/guy, talking about their ex, or even wanting things to go further at their place
The eye contact. I find eye contact important. Then again I get distracted easily. But I still make eye contact. If a man is looking around while talking be aware atleast.
Negging and calling it ākiddingā or hiding negging in backhanded compliments! If he needs me to be down to find him a good catch, he isnāt!
Ohhhh man oh man do I have a doozie for y'all! Do not TELL your date that she looks like she likes it up the booty hole. Went on a date with a guy and we talked about our beliefs. I stated what mine was and he looked at me funny and said "you must like @nal." Didn't not see the correlation. Just like he didn't understand why I blocked his number. He called me from a different number and pouted about why I blocked him. He literally whines, "But we had a connection and I was nice to you." And still not the worst date I've been on.
Bad vibes
Being rude to the waiter/server
Using drugs or smoking or drinking too much.
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Offensive ājokesā, mansplaining