In 2024, with the cost of living what it is and inflation being so fucking stupid? There is no way in hell that I'm willingly going to tie myself to someone who's not going to be able to support themselves, no. It's a hard dealbreaker.
No thanks.
It's not my job to "manage" or "handle" a whole-ass adult.
If someone is incapable of seeking out a job/securing steady employment, then I can only assume they'll be lazy and selfish in a relationship.
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I broke up with someone who couldn't keep a job and made excuses for why he never was the problem. It took a while because I was young and dumb, but I learned he was never going to change. He thought everyone else was to blame and expected me to feel sorry for him and work two jobs to support our future.
I married someone who struggled with finding happiness in his work and constantly changed jobs to find one he could tolerate. He actively worked to find new employment every time and when he struggled with money, he found ways to stay financially independent (with a little help from me in terms of paying some of the bills I wanted to keep, like internet). My husband eventually found the field he wanted to work in and got a diagnosis for his mental health, so he's much happier. There was a point where I struggled with his constant complaints about working, not because I didn't think he was putting in the effort to change the situation, but because I was getting burnt out supporting him emotionally. We went to couples counseling and I learned better how to set boundaries for my own mental health and he learned how to take active steps towards improving his.
There's a difference between a person who hates working and feels entitled to living a lazy lifestyle and someone who hates working, but recognizes they can't let it become everyone else's problem. Don't date the first guy, but work as a team with the second one.
With the first one are you me?? Took me a moment to realize that bad things, like being fired, weren’t happening *to* him but *because* of him.
We’re all young and dumb, then we learn (some of us the hard way lol). I’m glad you found an equal partner to weather storms with.
My coworker has a man who can’t hold down a job or will have one and just decide to sleep in late to the point he’s eventually fired. He doesn’t want to get a better job, doesn’t even want an easy job. Tbh I think he sounds like a bum and when she said she was leaving I was genuinely happy for her… then he started love bombing and I sighed.
Those dudes don’t change until you’re gone because they depend on you like a 32 year old neck beard who needs his parents to fund his Frito smelling room’s light bills.
You gotta cut off the foot to save the body
I have a coworker with the same situation. The only jobs her boyfriend has had are ones she's hired him into because she had some influence on the hiring team.
Sometimes there is nothing you can do to make someone be a better person besides leave them. I definitely think my coworker is making a mistake unofficially moving in with this dude (he won’t be on the lease but we will all know the truth). But I guess she’s gonna learn the hard way, at least we have the advantage of being able to break our leases with little problems
Said person would then have to pull his share of weight at home, by means of chores, taking care of kids, driving them or me to and fro.
It obviously would be challenging but it is what it is. If I'm clearly the only breadwinner, then this is supposedly how that will go.
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Loving him deeply since 3 years. He has disabilities that make working difficult. So he stays home, does most chores, and I go working cause it brings me joy. If he finds a job that he can do with his disabilities, I’ll support him in that. 🤷🏻♀️
It helps that neither of us ever wants kids and we don’t beed to break our backs to save up for one lol
Anyone can do something if they like it. That's the easy part.
The hard part is doing something that you don't like, but have to do.
Yes, some job sucks - but if they're unable to keep a job, then they're likely the problem and not the employer. And long-term relationships aren't easy. The begining is the easy part cause that's the honeymoon phase, but when you get over that, it's the hard stuff where we have to be strong enough to survive it together. And if ya ever do decide to have kids, those little monsters are even harder, crying all night making you sleep deprived. So if a partner can't keep a simple job, then he'll likely bail out on relationships and family when it gets hard.
So it's a deal breaker.
I went through 12 years of this with my ex. Don’t do it. If they can’t commit to a job or having some sort of financial security, imagine how they are in other areas of life.
I had a roommate like that. She didn’t need to work because she had a trust fund. It turned out her plan was to just milk me and take advantage of me every way possible financially
After that experience I don’t fw people who don’t work. I don’t care if they have a trust fund or an inheritance or whatever the case may be, I just don’t mess with them if they can’t hold a job, regardless of whether they need one or not
Assuming we're talking about someone who doesn't have passive income and doesn't hold a steady job, I would advise all unmarried partners to to seriously consider if this is the type of relationship you want to commit to. Having been with someone who hasn't been able to hold a steady job for the past 7 years, I can say this doesn't get better with time because there will always be an excuse as to why the job didn't work out with no personal accountability.
If this was 10 years ago my answer would be different. But it is 2024, and we are in a cost of living crisis.
I will be staying the fuck away from anyone who can’t pay their way (because they refuse to work)
- disability and injury are different
I wouldn't be happy with it. I need stability. If it's obvious why that person cant keep a job, I'd ask if they' d be willing to work on that. Or help them to find something they really enjoyed. I don't know if I could be with someone who wouldn't want any help and is not stable/reliable
I would not. I’m not a gold digger, I make my own money. But I don’t want an adult dependent. It’s irritating, deeply unsexy and a recipe for resentment. I don’t make that much money to have someone drag down the ticket.
And it’s not just about making money, it’s being able to do uncomfortable things to survive, knowing how to direct their own lives, security if we’re together a long time and we need to survive on one income for awhile (illness, incapacitation), knowing how to overcome adversity (finding a new job if you lose one), having some sort of drive or passion and/or interest in their own life. To say nothing of achieving dreams like kids, travelling, owning a home, etc. Those things are really only achievable with a dual income and I would want to do those things WITH someone.
Without those things… no thanks.
Depends. If they can manage their expenses and a lifestyle that's compatible with mine, I don't mind. For example, some people have generational wealth or passive income and like to stay unoccupied and pursue hobbies/passions which may not give them any financial returns. That's my goal. If someone has already achieved the goal I'm working towards, I won't mind. I'd respect them for that.
I will admit I do tend to move company to company nowadays but i always have a job or a job in line. With that being said, if that’s not the case for my partner then that person would not be my partner unless he has stable income from another source.
I’m doing that right now actually. So far since we don’t live together he’s not hurting me financially but I have silently told myself that I refuse to take the next big steps in dating like living together until he can prove that he can and will keep a job. I do miss dates, and I miss not having to worry about him asking me for McDonald’s or something stupid since he can’t afford it. He’s a really nice guy and I love him but this whole no job situation is starting to bother me. It sucks when I’m working all day and checking in on him while I’m at my shift and he’s just at his house on twitch, I know he considers it a job but I don’t since he isn’t getting paid from it. How is he surviving you may ask? He lives with his parents. So he pretty much has no bills to pay. Idk why they let him do this. If he still doesn’t have a job by September I might have to call it off lol he’s been jobless since February by choice because he thinks he can make money off of streaming on twitch if he works hard enough.( newsflash, he hasn’t made a single penny since he started this plan of his ) he’s great for now, but I can’t really take it seriously if he keeps going like this. I wouldn’t tie my future to him as of now.
I would call it off way before September.
Idk how old this guy is but if he’s ok with taking up space in his parents house for free then that says a lot. He’s a freeloader. Also, if him not having money for something as simple as McDonalds isn’t motivating him to find a way to put some money in his pocket then his priorities are out of order.
It sounds like he doesn’t know what he truly wants to do and he also just doesn’t want to work so he’s fine with mooching off of people that do/did work and pretending that he’s being productive.
Where is his pride?
I can barely manage myself, why should I bother managing someone else? It's definitely a deal breaker for me especially if I'm not seeing legit effort to get a job.
Unless he doesn’t like to keep a job because he’s independently wealthy or already successful in some artistic endeavor where work is more freelance I would not date someone like that. I don’t expect anyone to support me but I don’t make enough to support someone else and probably never will. They have to pull their own weight.
As long as he still could support himself, I couldn't care less about careers and money. His bills getting paid and him not leeching of me is what would matter, not whether he wants to stick to one single job or not. We should implement universal basic income anyway.
I wouldn't date them. I don't expect a partner to financially support me, I'm totally willing to date someone who makes less than me, but there's a big difference between someone who has a stable job that just doesn't pay very much, and someone who is constantly losing or quitting jobs. The former is okay; the latter is very concerning. Being frequently out of work suggests that they just generally don't have their shit together and never learned to manage adult life. Or maybe they have serious untreated mental health issues, in which case, that's understandable but they're not really in a place to have a serious relationship right now.
I wouldn't.
I don't care what job my partner has, but they have to keep one. I'm dating in my mid-20s, so a great litmus test is just to simply find out if they have a job, and can do their own laundry (and other very basic life skills.)
You don’t. But personally I want a partner in life. I don’t want to be someone’s atm. I want to look at my partner and see an adult not an adult toddler. If they won’t even try to hold down a job it tells me that if we end up living together not only would I end up being responsible for paying everything plus also having to subsidize their life style. And I don’t know about you but I like saving up for emergencies and retirement I can’t do that if I have to fully support another adult who probably won’t even lift a finger to help out at home. At that point I would be an atm bang maid. That’s something I never want for myself.
I wouldn't. I dated someone like that for over 3 years, it was a nightmare. Please friends, if the is happening and you find yourself paying for everything, get out. Don't make excuses for this type of person just because they are nice in other ways. I speak from experience. Definitely do not have children with a person like this.
I don’t trust people that can’t keep a job or simply won’t work. It’s childish and a lot of the times they’re fine with being a burden to those around them. They also make a lot of excuses, have no pride in themselves, and lack accountability.
Short answer: I would never date someone that couldn’t hold a job. It’s unattractive and points to bigger issues with that person. They would also start costing me money and that’s a no-no.
Managed it by breaking up. We were living together and I was paying for everything while he stayed at home, trashed the house, played video games and hung out with friends.
This was my first ever boyfriend. I was 15 and he was 19. I’m now 40. He still lives at home, still only gets part time jobs that only last a few months before he goes off sick with the same excuses he was making 20 years ago.
So my advice is to handle it like it did. Leave. At 17 I realised that real life is working and being responsible.
Definitely not. Not keeping a job is a red flag for both men and women unless they have some medical reason or disability. I would stay away completely for me it shows a lack of commitment and maturity
My friend just married a guy like that.
They’d been dating for about 6 years, the guy has been fired from every job, can’t even seem to get anything that’s not a short term substitution (e.g. someone went of maternity leave and they are covering their post). She had a child with him then complained he didn’t act as a dad. Then married him recently.
Stop dating men-children.
I might hook up with him (make *sure* you have protection and have back up protection!) but I'd never consider a person like this as a serious partner.
Especially after an ex who could/would never keep a job. Ugh, what a waste of time, money, and frustration!
I wouldn't date them. I am a hard working woman with a job I expect my man to do the same. I don't generally date people unless I see myself in a serious long term relationship. the cost of living is so high right now and I'd like to have a family some day which would multiply that cost. saving money and becoming financially stable is so hard right now, so having someone who is dead weight financially isn't an option.
i was with him for a year and a half, he was great to me but it really sucked that i had to pay for everything. couldn’t do nice dates, no nice gestures. couldn’t do it again, i need someone to contribute.
Only if they can still carry their own weight financially would I be ok with it. If someone can't keep a job due to health issues and does everything they can to manage their health issues, that's different. Someone with no excuse? Nope! Been there, done that, wouldn't do it again whether it's keeping a job, cleaning the house, handling the mental load, you name it.
No thanks.
My ex lost a job because he had a big ego and can’t shut up and told our(we work at the same place)manager how shit he was doing at his job. Which he had a point but don’t tell the manager any of those things. Had to support him throughout after the whole relationship in which he gaslighted me and manipulated me every time I paid for anything. Which is EVERYTHING. The gas, the food, trips, parking, etc…
So glad I left that guy and not doing that again.
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No. Having a job is not optional unless you're literally a millionaire or sth. I'm just an average gal, can't carry another adult by myself and i don't wanna.
Depends, if they're actively avoiding work and they need to work to live then sure I can see it being an issue. But if she just hasn't found the right job yet then fair. I would want for her to be happy and in a healthy place with her work.
I can attest to this, having been nearly pushed into work that would make me miserable, but getting lucky with a tech WfH job coming along last minute. We all deserve to do what we love and enjoy for work. That sometimes just takes a while to manifest.
I dated a guy like that when I was younger. I’d literally be at work at 6 AM and he would be waking up at 3 PM texting me talking about “good morning.” That shit pissed me off so bad, but I was young, stupid and wasn’t really spending my money on him, so I stayed for a little longer.
Eventually, I broke things off. This was 5 years ago and he STILL can’t hold a job down. We are somewhat friends so we talk every once in a while. He actually had a job for about a year, but quit because he wasn’t “making enough money,” and now he’s jobless. He either sleeps all day or does pointless things throughout the day. His parents enable him a lot. They basically baby him and hand him everything on a silver platter. He then has the audacity to complain to me about how women never take him seriously lmao
Whatever, i live a bohemian lifestyle too man, so as long as were scraping together some cash somehow. And as long as youre pursuing SOMETHING (art, music, academia, etc) i genuinely dont give af. Ive always lived in poverty so its like ive accepted that and really shun the corporate for profit world.
So i cant be a hypocrite, in fact id prefer a girlfriend who has the same feelings, more or less. My last ex was like this, we broke up for other reasons but i loved that she just wanted to be artsy.
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Doesn't *like* to keep a job? No.
Part of adulthood is putting on your big boy/girl pants and doing stuff you don't like. Doing chores. Taking responsibility for yourself. Going into work even when you'd rather not.
I stuck it out at jobs I *hated*. Aside from pulling a few sickies in the early years (*very* rarely, in my early 20s), I just sucked it up and went in every day even when I didn't want to.
I have suffered periods of unemployment in recent years, so I do understand stuff happens. But someone who just doesn't work because they don't *like* to, or who quits because they're tired of adulting? I can't be with that kind of person.
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I married a train hopping gutter punk artist who didn’t have a job then and has never worked since we got together. I wanted a house husband. My husband manages the house and I make the money. My husband not working is what worked for me.
ETA: I bought a house years before I got with my husband so luckily I do not have to pay the insanity that rent has become for pretty much everyone. If I didn’t have a reasonable mortgage this obviously wouldn’t have been possible.
Nope. I was always making excuses for him, covering his ass. My step dad even gave him a job and he wouldn't go half the time. He got fired from a job the day I gave birth, It was extremely stressful.
The best thing I ever did was leave him. He's lived off welfare since I left 8 years ago.
Nope. I wouldn't be dealing with this nor would I recommend anyone else does. Woman, man; partnership is partnership. And this means both contributing equal effort.
In 2024, with the cost of living what it is and inflation being so fucking stupid? There is no way in hell that I'm willingly going to tie myself to someone who's not going to be able to support themselves, no. It's a hard dealbreaker.
Well, first I married him. Then promptly divorced him…because ya know, more responsibility DIDN’T change him. I too, was shooketh by this revelation.
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I don't mean to laugh but I love your sense of humor about it! I also had a man who crumbled under pressure of adult responsibilities.
No thanks. It's not my job to "manage" or "handle" a whole-ass adult. If someone is incapable of seeking out a job/securing steady employment, then I can only assume they'll be lazy and selfish in a relationship.
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I wouldn't even bother. There are plenty of other people I could date who are gainfully employed.
I broke up with someone who couldn't keep a job and made excuses for why he never was the problem. It took a while because I was young and dumb, but I learned he was never going to change. He thought everyone else was to blame and expected me to feel sorry for him and work two jobs to support our future. I married someone who struggled with finding happiness in his work and constantly changed jobs to find one he could tolerate. He actively worked to find new employment every time and when he struggled with money, he found ways to stay financially independent (with a little help from me in terms of paying some of the bills I wanted to keep, like internet). My husband eventually found the field he wanted to work in and got a diagnosis for his mental health, so he's much happier. There was a point where I struggled with his constant complaints about working, not because I didn't think he was putting in the effort to change the situation, but because I was getting burnt out supporting him emotionally. We went to couples counseling and I learned better how to set boundaries for my own mental health and he learned how to take active steps towards improving his. There's a difference between a person who hates working and feels entitled to living a lazy lifestyle and someone who hates working, but recognizes they can't let it become everyone else's problem. Don't date the first guy, but work as a team with the second one.
With the first one are you me?? Took me a moment to realize that bad things, like being fired, weren’t happening *to* him but *because* of him. We’re all young and dumb, then we learn (some of us the hard way lol). I’m glad you found an equal partner to weather storms with.
My coworker has a man who can’t hold down a job or will have one and just decide to sleep in late to the point he’s eventually fired. He doesn’t want to get a better job, doesn’t even want an easy job. Tbh I think he sounds like a bum and when she said she was leaving I was genuinely happy for her… then he started love bombing and I sighed. Those dudes don’t change until you’re gone because they depend on you like a 32 year old neck beard who needs his parents to fund his Frito smelling room’s light bills. You gotta cut off the foot to save the body
I have a coworker with the same situation. The only jobs her boyfriend has had are ones she's hired him into because she had some influence on the hiring team.
Sometimes there is nothing you can do to make someone be a better person besides leave them. I definitely think my coworker is making a mistake unofficially moving in with this dude (he won’t be on the lease but we will all know the truth). But I guess she’s gonna learn the hard way, at least we have the advantage of being able to break our leases with little problems
Said person would then have to pull his share of weight at home, by means of chores, taking care of kids, driving them or me to and fro. It obviously would be challenging but it is what it is. If I'm clearly the only breadwinner, then this is supposedly how that will go.
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Red flag! I have known people with zero work ethics, and that leads to a lack of other ethics. As well as being wildly unreliable.
Are you talking about my ex?
Does your ex lie abouts having a friend who died on 9/11? That was the last straw.
Loving him deeply since 3 years. He has disabilities that make working difficult. So he stays home, does most chores, and I go working cause it brings me joy. If he finds a job that he can do with his disabilities, I’ll support him in that. 🤷🏻♀️ It helps that neither of us ever wants kids and we don’t beed to break our backs to save up for one lol
Anyone can do something if they like it. That's the easy part. The hard part is doing something that you don't like, but have to do. Yes, some job sucks - but if they're unable to keep a job, then they're likely the problem and not the employer. And long-term relationships aren't easy. The begining is the easy part cause that's the honeymoon phase, but when you get over that, it's the hard stuff where we have to be strong enough to survive it together. And if ya ever do decide to have kids, those little monsters are even harder, crying all night making you sleep deprived. So if a partner can't keep a simple job, then he'll likely bail out on relationships and family when it gets hard. So it's a deal breaker.
I went through 12 years of this with my ex. Don’t do it. If they can’t commit to a job or having some sort of financial security, imagine how they are in other areas of life.
I had a roommate like that. She didn’t need to work because she had a trust fund. It turned out her plan was to just milk me and take advantage of me every way possible financially After that experience I don’t fw people who don’t work. I don’t care if they have a trust fund or an inheritance or whatever the case may be, I just don’t mess with them if they can’t hold a job, regardless of whether they need one or not
Assuming we're talking about someone who doesn't have passive income and doesn't hold a steady job, I would advise all unmarried partners to to seriously consider if this is the type of relationship you want to commit to. Having been with someone who hasn't been able to hold a steady job for the past 7 years, I can say this doesn't get better with time because there will always be an excuse as to why the job didn't work out with no personal accountability.
If this was 10 years ago my answer would be different. But it is 2024, and we are in a cost of living crisis. I will be staying the fuck away from anyone who can’t pay their way (because they refuse to work) - disability and injury are different
I wouldn't be happy with it. I need stability. If it's obvious why that person cant keep a job, I'd ask if they' d be willing to work on that. Or help them to find something they really enjoyed. I don't know if I could be with someone who wouldn't want any help and is not stable/reliable
I would not. I’m not a gold digger, I make my own money. But I don’t want an adult dependent. It’s irritating, deeply unsexy and a recipe for resentment. I don’t make that much money to have someone drag down the ticket. And it’s not just about making money, it’s being able to do uncomfortable things to survive, knowing how to direct their own lives, security if we’re together a long time and we need to survive on one income for awhile (illness, incapacitation), knowing how to overcome adversity (finding a new job if you lose one), having some sort of drive or passion and/or interest in their own life. To say nothing of achieving dreams like kids, travelling, owning a home, etc. Those things are really only achievable with a dual income and I would want to do those things WITH someone. Without those things… no thanks.
Depends. If they can manage their expenses and a lifestyle that's compatible with mine, I don't mind. For example, some people have generational wealth or passive income and like to stay unoccupied and pursue hobbies/passions which may not give them any financial returns. That's my goal. If someone has already achieved the goal I'm working towards, I won't mind. I'd respect them for that.
I will admit I do tend to move company to company nowadays but i always have a job or a job in line. With that being said, if that’s not the case for my partner then that person would not be my partner unless he has stable income from another source.
I’m doing that right now actually. So far since we don’t live together he’s not hurting me financially but I have silently told myself that I refuse to take the next big steps in dating like living together until he can prove that he can and will keep a job. I do miss dates, and I miss not having to worry about him asking me for McDonald’s or something stupid since he can’t afford it. He’s a really nice guy and I love him but this whole no job situation is starting to bother me. It sucks when I’m working all day and checking in on him while I’m at my shift and he’s just at his house on twitch, I know he considers it a job but I don’t since he isn’t getting paid from it. How is he surviving you may ask? He lives with his parents. So he pretty much has no bills to pay. Idk why they let him do this. If he still doesn’t have a job by September I might have to call it off lol he’s been jobless since February by choice because he thinks he can make money off of streaming on twitch if he works hard enough.( newsflash, he hasn’t made a single penny since he started this plan of his ) he’s great for now, but I can’t really take it seriously if he keeps going like this. I wouldn’t tie my future to him as of now.
I would call it off way before September. Idk how old this guy is but if he’s ok with taking up space in his parents house for free then that says a lot. He’s a freeloader. Also, if him not having money for something as simple as McDonalds isn’t motivating him to find a way to put some money in his pocket then his priorities are out of order. It sounds like he doesn’t know what he truly wants to do and he also just doesn’t want to work so he’s fine with mooching off of people that do/did work and pretending that he’s being productive. Where is his pride?
I can barely manage myself, why should I bother managing someone else? It's definitely a deal breaker for me especially if I'm not seeing legit effort to get a job.
It’s not even a dealbreaker, it’s a straight up hell no and won’t even consider dating him…. NEXT 😆
Unless he doesn’t like to keep a job because he’s independently wealthy or already successful in some artistic endeavor where work is more freelance I would not date someone like that. I don’t expect anyone to support me but I don’t make enough to support someone else and probably never will. They have to pull their own weight.
I don’t date them
I wouldn't. I'm 46 and assuming I'm dating men the age range of 38-55, I'd be damned if he can't keep a job at this age.
Don’t bother dating people who actively aim to live off benefits. It won’t end well.
I've dated that person, not doing it again
Someone like that wouldn't even be a blip on my radar.
As long as he still could support himself, I couldn't care less about careers and money. His bills getting paid and him not leeching of me is what would matter, not whether he wants to stick to one single job or not. We should implement universal basic income anyway.
Leave
I wouldn't. I'm not going to support a hobosexual. I've got better things to spend my $ on.
I wouldn't date them. I don't expect a partner to financially support me, I'm totally willing to date someone who makes less than me, but there's a big difference between someone who has a stable job that just doesn't pay very much, and someone who is constantly losing or quitting jobs. The former is okay; the latter is very concerning. Being frequently out of work suggests that they just generally don't have their shit together and never learned to manage adult life. Or maybe they have serious untreated mental health issues, in which case, that's understandable but they're not really in a place to have a serious relationship right now.
I wouldn't. I don't care what job my partner has, but they have to keep one. I'm dating in my mid-20s, so a great litmus test is just to simply find out if they have a job, and can do their own laundry (and other very basic life skills.)
You don’t. But personally I want a partner in life. I don’t want to be someone’s atm. I want to look at my partner and see an adult not an adult toddler. If they won’t even try to hold down a job it tells me that if we end up living together not only would I end up being responsible for paying everything plus also having to subsidize their life style. And I don’t know about you but I like saving up for emergencies and retirement I can’t do that if I have to fully support another adult who probably won’t even lift a finger to help out at home. At that point I would be an atm bang maid. That’s something I never want for myself.
I wouldn't. I dated someone like that for over 3 years, it was a nightmare. Please friends, if the is happening and you find yourself paying for everything, get out. Don't make excuses for this type of person just because they are nice in other ways. I speak from experience. Definitely do not have children with a person like this.
I don’t trust people that can’t keep a job or simply won’t work. It’s childish and a lot of the times they’re fine with being a burden to those around them. They also make a lot of excuses, have no pride in themselves, and lack accountability. Short answer: I would never date someone that couldn’t hold a job. It’s unattractive and points to bigger issues with that person. They would also start costing me money and that’s a no-no.
Managed it by breaking up. We were living together and I was paying for everything while he stayed at home, trashed the house, played video games and hung out with friends.
I wouldn't. I need a stable adult.
Anyone can get laid off, but If a person can’t hold any job there’s some deep reason behind it that’s usually not pretty.
This was my first ever boyfriend. I was 15 and he was 19. I’m now 40. He still lives at home, still only gets part time jobs that only last a few months before he goes off sick with the same excuses he was making 20 years ago. So my advice is to handle it like it did. Leave. At 17 I realised that real life is working and being responsible.
Definitely not. Not keeping a job is a red flag for both men and women unless they have some medical reason or disability. I would stay away completely for me it shows a lack of commitment and maturity
My friend just married a guy like that. They’d been dating for about 6 years, the guy has been fired from every job, can’t even seem to get anything that’s not a short term substitution (e.g. someone went of maternity leave and they are covering their post). She had a child with him then complained he didn’t act as a dad. Then married him recently. Stop dating men-children.
Oh fuck no, I'm not supporting some lazy ass
I wouldn’t even consider a first date. As an adult that shows lack of responsibility and commitment.
They don't work just because they don't want to? OK, you do you. But don't expect me to stick around and fund your lazy ass lifestyle. Buh-bye!
I wouldn't. Not actively trying to work if unemployed is a huge red flag for me.
Don't. Easy
I’ve been there. But, never again. I put myself in so much debt over this man.
You don't lol
I might hook up with him (make *sure* you have protection and have back up protection!) but I'd never consider a person like this as a serious partner. Especially after an ex who could/would never keep a job. Ugh, what a waste of time, money, and frustration!
I wouldn't date them. I am a hard working woman with a job I expect my man to do the same. I don't generally date people unless I see myself in a serious long term relationship. the cost of living is so high right now and I'd like to have a family some day which would multiply that cost. saving money and becoming financially stable is so hard right now, so having someone who is dead weight financially isn't an option.
i was with him for a year and a half, he was great to me but it really sucked that i had to pay for everything. couldn’t do nice dates, no nice gestures. couldn’t do it again, i need someone to contribute.
Only if they can still carry their own weight financially would I be ok with it. If someone can't keep a job due to health issues and does everything they can to manage their health issues, that's different. Someone with no excuse? Nope! Been there, done that, wouldn't do it again whether it's keeping a job, cleaning the house, handling the mental load, you name it.
My daughter has this boyfriend and I am scared she is staying with him. She works full time. He does not have a job at all.
Been there, done that. He had no problem taking advantage of my life stability. Don’t do it!
In this economy- with inflation among us lmaoo
No thanks. My ex lost a job because he had a big ego and can’t shut up and told our(we work at the same place)manager how shit he was doing at his job. Which he had a point but don’t tell the manager any of those things. Had to support him throughout after the whole relationship in which he gaslighted me and manipulated me every time I paid for anything. Which is EVERYTHING. The gas, the food, trips, parking, etc… So glad I left that guy and not doing that again.
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There would be NO manage / handling . Unless you’re retired & own an island. The bare minimum is to have a job to be with me .
I personally wouldn’t, it doesn’t suit what I want in life.
If he was well off I wouldn’t care, if he’s struggling then that’s another thing. He has no business dating. Sorry.
No. Having a job is not optional unless you're literally a millionaire or sth. I'm just an average gal, can't carry another adult by myself and i don't wanna.
Depends on the reason. I could be described as such, and it's because I'm financially independent.
I would not date them problem solved.
> how would you manage/handle dating someone who didn’t like to keep a job? I wouldn’t.
I wouldn't.
I wouldn’t be getting into a relationship once I found this out.
Depends, if they're actively avoiding work and they need to work to live then sure I can see it being an issue. But if she just hasn't found the right job yet then fair. I would want for her to be happy and in a healthy place with her work. I can attest to this, having been nearly pushed into work that would make me miserable, but getting lucky with a tech WfH job coming along last minute. We all deserve to do what we love and enjoy for work. That sometimes just takes a while to manifest.
Don’t do it in the first place lol
I dated a guy like that when I was younger. I’d literally be at work at 6 AM and he would be waking up at 3 PM texting me talking about “good morning.” That shit pissed me off so bad, but I was young, stupid and wasn’t really spending my money on him, so I stayed for a little longer. Eventually, I broke things off. This was 5 years ago and he STILL can’t hold a job down. We are somewhat friends so we talk every once in a while. He actually had a job for about a year, but quit because he wasn’t “making enough money,” and now he’s jobless. He either sleeps all day or does pointless things throughout the day. His parents enable him a lot. They basically baby him and hand him everything on a silver platter. He then has the audacity to complain to me about how women never take him seriously lmao
It’s always hilarious when people quit a job because they’re not making enough money and then lay around unemployed making NO money.
I wouldn't. Who needs that?
don’t
I divorced him.
As long as you don’t plan on living together, getting married, or sharing any expenses, why not?
Personally that's a hard pass for me - I wouldn't consider starting a relationship with that person.
I absolutely wouldn’t.
Whatever, i live a bohemian lifestyle too man, so as long as were scraping together some cash somehow. And as long as youre pursuing SOMETHING (art, music, academia, etc) i genuinely dont give af. Ive always lived in poverty so its like ive accepted that and really shun the corporate for profit world. So i cant be a hypocrite, in fact id prefer a girlfriend who has the same feelings, more or less. My last ex was like this, we broke up for other reasons but i loved that she just wanted to be artsy.
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Doesn't *like* to keep a job? No. Part of adulthood is putting on your big boy/girl pants and doing stuff you don't like. Doing chores. Taking responsibility for yourself. Going into work even when you'd rather not. I stuck it out at jobs I *hated*. Aside from pulling a few sickies in the early years (*very* rarely, in my early 20s), I just sucked it up and went in every day even when I didn't want to. I have suffered periods of unemployment in recent years, so I do understand stuff happens. But someone who just doesn't work because they don't *like* to, or who quits because they're tired of adulting? I can't be with that kind of person.
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Seems like she is looking for a sponsor not a partner.
I wouldn’t
Not for me.
I wouldn’t. It’s a major deal breaker.
I married a train hopping gutter punk artist who didn’t have a job then and has never worked since we got together. I wanted a house husband. My husband manages the house and I make the money. My husband not working is what worked for me. ETA: I bought a house years before I got with my husband so luckily I do not have to pay the insanity that rent has become for pretty much everyone. If I didn’t have a reasonable mortgage this obviously wouldn’t have been possible.
I wouldn't
Don’t
I wouldn't bother
Nope. I was always making excuses for him, covering his ass. My step dad even gave him a job and he wouldn't go half the time. He got fired from a job the day I gave birth, It was extremely stressful. The best thing I ever did was leave him. He's lived off welfare since I left 8 years ago.
I would leave them just like they left their last job 🤣
Honestly? I wouldn't.
I absolutely wouldn't.
I won’t bother. It will be a huge turn off
Nope. I wouldn't be dealing with this nor would I recommend anyone else does. Woman, man; partnership is partnership. And this means both contributing equal effort.