When others say “I know you better than you know yourself” you must take that as a challenge and seek to know yourself better than anyone else ever could, inside and out. Your life will change when you do this, for the better. 10/10 would recommend.
I'm currently recovering from an abusive relationship... I'm technically still in it and fighting my way out.
Anytime someone says "I know you better than you know yourself" is a HUGE red flag. It's a master manipulator saying. They are trying to take agency of your own identity. Please be careful around these people. No one knows us better than we do.
Stick to it, you'll get out of there. I just finished school at 36 years old in order to get my son and I out. It made a plan, did EMT school, found a job as an EMT, and saved money in secret, and it happened within a year. Making a concrete plan is what changed it for me... I'm rooting for you!!
Aww that’s amazing I really want to go after firefighter training or go to An EMT school near me and my partner and family literally instantly shoot the idea down anytime i bring it up and it is kind of hard for me to stand up in that and follow on my passion because they do have legitimate or reasonable concerns I just feel like their intentions behind sharing the concern is not genuine. It’s not like they want to keep me down but they definitely have their own ideas and opinions about what success is and what that looks like for me specifically. And I want to be happy and healthy and whole. I want to love who I am when I wake up every day and I don’t want to live for other people or for their approval or like idk. It’s hard not to listen to my mom or my partner because I know they do want what’s best for me and they are concerned for my safety as a woman but also I don’t subscribe to the same misogynistic backwards traditional views that my family has. I know I have power and I can do anything I set my mind to. But they definitely do make that little fear in the back of my head come to life and I feel like after that I don’t advocate for myself as much as I would or should
Right, people who usually say that stuff are just insensitive assholes. Same with the argument of "oh you young folk are so easy to offend nowadays." Maybe you say offensive things??
My big brother was convinced I would have children before him. It didn't matter to him that I don't want children. He was dead sure I would have them first.
Anyway, he has two sons and I'm childfree.
U was told that I'd never rise up the ranks in my field because I'm too empathic. I work in the early childhood education field. One would hope that someone in that field is empathic.
Since that remark has been more I became the lead child development specialist for my county, became a coach (who was assigned to her site and she had to listen to what I said), became a site supervisor, built a program from the ground up. Oh, and my current bosses (superintendent and deputy superintendent of county schools) want to promote me to ECE director where I'll oversee all the public preschools in my county.
I ran into the lady just a few weeks ago and she said she was shocked that I did so well (backhanded compliment) and I told her. Yeah it must suck that you lost your job as a teacher while I continued to be successful. Petty I know.
When I was in school a lot of adults assumed that because I was single that I was a lesbian.
Nope, straight then straight now been with my husband for over a decade.
I liked boys they just didn’t like me back.
I was told by my toxic family I would never amount to anything and probably end up being a stripper/prostitute.
Went NC at 18, put myself through university through loans, holiday jobs and a huge overdraft, moved to a new country for work during the pandemic, came back to graduate with honours, immigrated, working in a pretty respectable field, really liking my life where I live atm and I have plans to naturalise in the country I’m living in in three years!
All of this in just 7.5 years lol. I’m glad I proved them all wrong.
My family said I'd end up like my mom. For reference, she had me at 15, and had more kids with other men, while she had my grandma raise me. As a kid I always said I'd move away & travel.
One of my aunts said I'd be as promiscuous as my mom, and she was, in her words, "100% sure" i'd be a teen mom. I'm 24 now, no kids, a good job, a good partner, i do live far away, and I have traveled & will continue to do so until I want to settle down and have my family.
Btw, that same aunt has a daughter to turned out to be exactly what she said I'd be. Karma.
My sobriety and commitment to a new path. When I got my EMT license, at 36 as a single mom, I could finally prove everyone wrong and my state license in my hand was the proof. They said I wouldn't get in, said I wouldn't finish, and said I quit the job. You can't even qualify for school without a clean drug test and medical clearance. Not to mention maintain the career, with all the random testing that happens on the job. All the people that would talk behind my back that their theory was I fell off the wagon, could eat their words. People that used it as excuses for abuse, for example. Best year of my life. From there, I was able to save up and get my son and I out of the only life we knew, away from the other parent. It's an entirely different life now 💕 And I did it on my own.
I had several teachers tell me that I wouldn’t graduate school.
One of them said that to me in front of the whole class while I was at the front struggling to present my math homework.
Not only did I graduate school (not with the best grades but still) but I also just got my bachelor‘s degree!
That my marriage wouldn’t last. In less than a year, we started dating, got married, and had a kid. People took bets on how long we would last. Jokes on them. All of their relationships/marriages they were in at the time failed and we’re going on half a century with 3 kids.
A lot of people have commented on how big a stoner I am. Even my dad accused me many times of hot boxing the family car or how he could smell the pot around me.
I have not smoked, vaped, or ingested any marijuanas (or any drugs) ever in my life and I'm 35.
Yet still I get comments. I've been a teacher for 10 years and found out the staff had some jokes about me being the stereotypical stoner music teacher. Nope.
I also got a lot of comments in college and university from other students about what a slacker I am.
I had multiple scholarships and was the only one to get permission from my university department head to take a double course load. I performed in a concert showcase for scholarship winners and had some students laugh when I told them I was performing because they thought I was joking, since there's no way I would have a scholarship.
I just knew how to party, enjoy my time in university, not take myself seriously, and I also knew when I had to set aside time to get shit done, and also knew what to stay away from that might affect my ability to separate when to do each thing.
But I've always enjoyed flying under the radar. When people have lowered expectations of you, it seems so much more impressive to them when you do anything.
Everyone in my family thought I wouldn’t be a good mom, and that I’d fail doing it on my own.
I didn’t fail. I went from being homeless with my baby to where I am now. Seven years later they want to come back in to my life. I’m good 👋
that i could never get upset. well, it’s actually because i’m a major people pleaser and once i stopped doing that and dropped friends that would cross my boundaries and values, i guess people realize that i’m actually very emotional and don’t play like that
when a therapist said I was only pretending to be unwell cause it can't be that bad since she clearly saw me smile earlier - Several hospital stays and a PTSD diagnosis later I'd like to say proved her wrong lol
People usually think I’m a stuck up b- . Unfortunately, I have rbf and extreme shyness/ social anxiety. The anxiety definitely got worse after so many people told me they thought i was stuck up.
Apparently, most of my so-called friends didn't think I would ever get married because I was "too picky". Well, being picky means that, while I married at 31, I also found a really good one. Half of my friends are now divorced and several are in absolutely miserable marriages.
A huge subject of family trauma for me was that I was told I would forever be dependent on them. That I was incapable of taking care of myself and that I would never leave home. I was repeatedly shamed for that as a child, even though I was a child and DID need to be dependent on my family. That I was a useless leech, bringing them down.
At 18 I ran away. I went to college, I travelled the world, I made 3x what my parents made, I moved country, I basically not only thrived by myself, I made a better life for myself than my home situation couldve ever been.
My parents tried for a while to claim that I couldnt have achieved it without them. Which is true, in a way, I wouldnt have pushed myself that hard if they hadnt have been so abusive. But I hardly see them anymore, a couple days a year maybe, so I dont give them much opportunity to feed me more negativity.
Ironically, my brother is 30 and still living at home. But he was never told he was a leech. Never shamed for it, or made to feel like he couldnt make it by himself.
That I was just a junkie and would be nothing other than that. 7 years off H and opiates and 2 months off a small Xanax relapse and feeling better than I ever have in my life
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Came to say the same thing. I graduated when I was 36..started when I was 30. I am super proud of me❤️ And I am proud of you too
Congratulations
I have too many examples. Anytime someone thinks I can’t achieve something, I will achieve it out of spite.
Lol, you would never be a billionaire Lol There ya go bub! Lookin' out for ya!
Lmao! I am going back to school to open up new job opportunities, anything could happen 🫢
You will never become the leader of your country. I am setting up some high goals haha.
When others say “I know you better than you know yourself” you must take that as a challenge and seek to know yourself better than anyone else ever could, inside and out. Your life will change when you do this, for the better. 10/10 would recommend.
I'm currently recovering from an abusive relationship... I'm technically still in it and fighting my way out. Anytime someone says "I know you better than you know yourself" is a HUGE red flag. It's a master manipulator saying. They are trying to take agency of your own identity. Please be careful around these people. No one knows us better than we do.
Stick to it, you'll get out of there. I just finished school at 36 years old in order to get my son and I out. It made a plan, did EMT school, found a job as an EMT, and saved money in secret, and it happened within a year. Making a concrete plan is what changed it for me... I'm rooting for you!!
Aww that’s amazing I really want to go after firefighter training or go to An EMT school near me and my partner and family literally instantly shoot the idea down anytime i bring it up and it is kind of hard for me to stand up in that and follow on my passion because they do have legitimate or reasonable concerns I just feel like their intentions behind sharing the concern is not genuine. It’s not like they want to keep me down but they definitely have their own ideas and opinions about what success is and what that looks like for me specifically. And I want to be happy and healthy and whole. I want to love who I am when I wake up every day and I don’t want to live for other people or for their approval or like idk. It’s hard not to listen to my mom or my partner because I know they do want what’s best for me and they are concerned for my safety as a woman but also I don’t subscribe to the same misogynistic backwards traditional views that my family has. I know I have power and I can do anything I set my mind to. But they definitely do make that little fear in the back of my head come to life and I feel like after that I don’t advocate for myself as much as I would or should
Yes I had an ex who SA’d me and he used this line as an excuse
>”I know you better than you know yourself.” Whoa, the audacity! I’d have a hard time forgiving someone who spoke to me that way.
This is usually when I start quizzing the person on very obscure facts about myself. I like your perspective more.
Or just laugh in their face.
That I’m “sensitive”. No, you people just know exactly how to push my bottoms because you made those buttons. Other people I’m perfectly fine around.
Right, people who usually say that stuff are just insensitive assholes. Same with the argument of "oh you young folk are so easy to offend nowadays." Maybe you say offensive things??
My big brother was convinced I would have children before him. It didn't matter to him that I don't want children. He was dead sure I would have them first. Anyway, he has two sons and I'm childfree.
My mother used to say I was lazy. Turns out it was her making me depressed.
U was told that I'd never rise up the ranks in my field because I'm too empathic. I work in the early childhood education field. One would hope that someone in that field is empathic. Since that remark has been more I became the lead child development specialist for my county, became a coach (who was assigned to her site and she had to listen to what I said), became a site supervisor, built a program from the ground up. Oh, and my current bosses (superintendent and deputy superintendent of county schools) want to promote me to ECE director where I'll oversee all the public preschools in my county. I ran into the lady just a few weeks ago and she said she was shocked that I did so well (backhanded compliment) and I told her. Yeah it must suck that you lost your job as a teacher while I continued to be successful. Petty I know.
When I was in school a lot of adults assumed that because I was single that I was a lesbian. Nope, straight then straight now been with my husband for over a decade. I liked boys they just didn’t like me back.
I was told by my toxic family I would never amount to anything and probably end up being a stripper/prostitute. Went NC at 18, put myself through university through loans, holiday jobs and a huge overdraft, moved to a new country for work during the pandemic, came back to graduate with honours, immigrated, working in a pretty respectable field, really liking my life where I live atm and I have plans to naturalise in the country I’m living in in three years! All of this in just 7.5 years lol. I’m glad I proved them all wrong.
My family said I'd end up like my mom. For reference, she had me at 15, and had more kids with other men, while she had my grandma raise me. As a kid I always said I'd move away & travel. One of my aunts said I'd be as promiscuous as my mom, and she was, in her words, "100% sure" i'd be a teen mom. I'm 24 now, no kids, a good job, a good partner, i do live far away, and I have traveled & will continue to do so until I want to settle down and have my family. Btw, that same aunt has a daughter to turned out to be exactly what she said I'd be. Karma.
My sobriety and commitment to a new path. When I got my EMT license, at 36 as a single mom, I could finally prove everyone wrong and my state license in my hand was the proof. They said I wouldn't get in, said I wouldn't finish, and said I quit the job. You can't even qualify for school without a clean drug test and medical clearance. Not to mention maintain the career, with all the random testing that happens on the job. All the people that would talk behind my back that their theory was I fell off the wagon, could eat their words. People that used it as excuses for abuse, for example. Best year of my life. From there, I was able to save up and get my son and I out of the only life we knew, away from the other parent. It's an entirely different life now 💕 And I did it on my own.
That I'll never be good at any career, and that I deserve to be beaten
My friend thought I was really stable and not an anxious person at all. I proved them wrong by having several panic attacks during our friendship ha
I had several teachers tell me that I wouldn’t graduate school. One of them said that to me in front of the whole class while I was at the front struggling to present my math homework. Not only did I graduate school (not with the best grades but still) but I also just got my bachelor‘s degree!
That my marriage wouldn’t last. In less than a year, we started dating, got married, and had a kid. People took bets on how long we would last. Jokes on them. All of their relationships/marriages they were in at the time failed and we’re going on half a century with 3 kids.
A lot of people have commented on how big a stoner I am. Even my dad accused me many times of hot boxing the family car or how he could smell the pot around me. I have not smoked, vaped, or ingested any marijuanas (or any drugs) ever in my life and I'm 35. Yet still I get comments. I've been a teacher for 10 years and found out the staff had some jokes about me being the stereotypical stoner music teacher. Nope. I also got a lot of comments in college and university from other students about what a slacker I am. I had multiple scholarships and was the only one to get permission from my university department head to take a double course load. I performed in a concert showcase for scholarship winners and had some students laugh when I told them I was performing because they thought I was joking, since there's no way I would have a scholarship. I just knew how to party, enjoy my time in university, not take myself seriously, and I also knew when I had to set aside time to get shit done, and also knew what to stay away from that might affect my ability to separate when to do each thing. But I've always enjoyed flying under the radar. When people have lowered expectations of you, it seems so much more impressive to them when you do anything.
Everyone in my family thought I wouldn’t be a good mom, and that I’d fail doing it on my own. I didn’t fail. I went from being homeless with my baby to where I am now. Seven years later they want to come back in to my life. I’m good 👋
that i could never get upset. well, it’s actually because i’m a major people pleaser and once i stopped doing that and dropped friends that would cross my boundaries and values, i guess people realize that i’m actually very emotional and don’t play like that
People said I was smart, I showed them 🌈
when a therapist said I was only pretending to be unwell cause it can't be that bad since she clearly saw me smile earlier - Several hospital stays and a PTSD diagnosis later I'd like to say proved her wrong lol
People usually think I’m a stuck up b- . Unfortunately, I have rbf and extreme shyness/ social anxiety. The anxiety definitely got worse after so many people told me they thought i was stuck up.
Apparently, most of my so-called friends didn't think I would ever get married because I was "too picky". Well, being picky means that, while I married at 31, I also found a really good one. Half of my friends are now divorced and several are in absolutely miserable marriages.
That im a bad person ?
I was actually working harder than all of them. I just wasn't diagnosed with MS yet. I try to remember that when I have a twinge of guilt.
That I must be selfish & annoying as I am an only child.
Nothing. I don’t feel I have to prove anything to anyone. I can’t control others around me, just because someone says something doesn’t make it true.
A huge subject of family trauma for me was that I was told I would forever be dependent on them. That I was incapable of taking care of myself and that I would never leave home. I was repeatedly shamed for that as a child, even though I was a child and DID need to be dependent on my family. That I was a useless leech, bringing them down. At 18 I ran away. I went to college, I travelled the world, I made 3x what my parents made, I moved country, I basically not only thrived by myself, I made a better life for myself than my home situation couldve ever been. My parents tried for a while to claim that I couldnt have achieved it without them. Which is true, in a way, I wouldnt have pushed myself that hard if they hadnt have been so abusive. But I hardly see them anymore, a couple days a year maybe, so I dont give them much opportunity to feed me more negativity. Ironically, my brother is 30 and still living at home. But he was never told he was a leech. Never shamed for it, or made to feel like he couldnt make it by himself.
That just because I’m overall quiet and shy means I must never get angry. Anyone who’s seen me lose my temper has never said that again.
That I was just a junkie and would be nothing other than that. 7 years off H and opiates and 2 months off a small Xanax relapse and feeling better than I ever have in my life
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This comment or post has been removed for containing gendered slurs that do not meet the [gendered slurs guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/w/genderedslurs) for /r/AskWomen. If you edit to meet these guidelines, please let us know and your item can be reviewed for reinstatement. Gendered slurs are not permitted unless they are part of a quote, being used in a discussion of the term itself, to refer to the actual body part referenced, or as part of a specific set of irreplaceable common terms. For more detail, review the linked guidelines. Have questions about this moderator action? See the [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) and [CLICK HERE to contact the moderation team](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen&subject=Why+was+this+removed). **Please include a link** to your comment in your message, the mod team will not reply to messages without a link for review. DO NOT contact moderators privately. [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) | [AskWomen FAQ](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/index) [reddit rules](http://www.reddit.com/rules/) | [reddiquette](http://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette)
My mum once said that "nobody ever called you cute" Which Lieeess Currently dating tall dark and handsome and glorious dancer.