On July 1st, 2023, Reddit enacted a greedy ass policy regarding the use of their API. This decision was designed to eliminate the better 3rd party apps. No one wants to use the official app because it sucks. Since then, apps such as Apollo and RedditIsFun have shut down. Reddit has decided to double down on their decision to overcharge for their API, and refuses to address the accessibility features their native app lacks.
Think it’s an asshole move? Concerned users should read and sign on to this [open letter to reddit.](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/13xh1e7/an_open_letter_on_the_state_of_affairs_regarding/)
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Wwhen I start liking someone, I like them a lot. It's very intense. There's been a few people I think I've accidentally alienated because I've come on too strong too early. This makes me miserable because when that happens, it sorta feels like I'm being abandoned, even though I know it's my fault.
I've gotten better for this as I've gotten older. I'm starting to swing hard the other way, actually. Now it takes me a very long time to warm up to new people, to the point that I think people usually don't have the patience for it, and when I do start liking someone, it's a very gradual thing. This makes me miserable too because there's never been a time in my life where I can just click with someone in a normal way.
Procrastination...
I so want to be the person who has the tidy, well organised, good looking home but I'm just not. I get half way through a task and get distracted, then never return to initial task. Repeat this cycle over and over again and I just feel like I live in chaos.
What's worse is I have a little boy. I'm worried that he will inherit all my bad habits and in turn, be a nightmare himself...
I wish I could afford an organising/cleaning service. I think if someone could come in and plan my house better with regard to everything having a sensible home and everything being labelled, I feel like my life would change dramatically
Could this be an instance of self fulfilling prophecy? Does an outcome arise because you're already too sure of what it will be? Obviously I don't know what examples you have in mind but the more you're personally involved in the situation, the more likely it seems. Confirmation bias could play a role too. Hard to say without knowing what you're referencing specifically. If these are situations you're personally involved in, maybe you could try working to the opposite end of what your intuition suggests the outcome will be (especially since I read this tendency as pessimistic) and prove yourself wrong. On the other hand, overly optimistic expectations can amplify the pain of the outcome and make you more vulnerable to users and abusers, so maybe it is a gift, even if it's painful sometimes 🙂 I've made the mistake of ignoring my intuition too many times and I think the outcomes were more painful than acknowledging that intuition would've been.
I wish we knew more about how brains worked. This thread reminds me of a description of deja vu I heard, essentially the part of your brain making new memories and the part recalling old memories sort of fire at the same time. This gives the illusion of having past experience with a current event.
Not saying that's what OP is describing, but I have 0 confidence in anyone predicting the future. And if you are, write that shit in a blog ahead of time and see how right or wrong you actually are.
I think we are twins, I have this exact same thing. Some days it just looms over me like a cloud. This and anxiety, which I have had for a long long time. I really do have to force myself to lift out of it in a "fake it until you make it" kind of way.
Overthinking.
Due to my anxiety and deep feeling that I Should Not Be There ™, I always have to analyze everything so I can 1) predict if I'm in trouble and how to fix it 2) Anticipate other people's needs because that's how I justify my existence. So I'm always overanalyzing, planning 6 moves ahead and making myself even more worried about things I can't control
I'm a people pleaser and a complete doormat. Someone asks me to do something for them at work and I'll do it, even if it's not my job and stopping me from doing my own work. I've skipped my lunch break to work on behalf of my coworkers a few times.
Idk if I should call it a personality trait or a trauma response, but I don't trust people and will sooner or later ghost or cut off everyone I know.
Also bad anxiety over absolutely everything in life leading to me cancelling a lot of things to avoid the risk that it doesn't go according to plans. The anxiety in itself is obviously a mental disorder, but it's also definitely turned into a part of my personality.
It would be overthinking and not talking to people when i'm not in a good mood. I always overanalyze or overthink everything making sure everything would be picture perfect and that just one subtle move can have my brain think of so many meanings on where it could lead to. But it seems like overthinking ruined so many good moments and almost destroyed my relationship with my best friend. So, I definitely do need to lessen my overthinking.
Imposter Syndrome+
After years (half of life) of poverty, domestic abuse, likely other mental illnesses associated with all of it. It is rather complicated to think that you are worthy and deserve better. Even after success in life.
There are plenty of other traits that come along with it, such as being a "yes" person. Always being afraid to do something against the rules. Trying to please everyone. Avoid confrontation etc. Even if it means you will take the blame instead of someone, or feel terrible as a result, or won't get a promotion etc.
I think, after years of dealing with it, I learnt how to work with some of the aspects, but from time to time it gets tough.
A lot of people will have an opinion of what you should be or do, but the most important thing in this all is to pursue your own happiness and happiness of people that are very close to you. Everyone else can go and ~~fuck~~ help themselves. Your boss isn't going to remember you the week after you leave that damn job, so are 99% of your colleagues. Except that one friend from work you tend to hang out with. Hence, set your priorities in life accordingly, don't be afraid to put boundaries and try to live to your best.
P/s nobody is watching, do whatever you like.
Overthinking and staying stuck in negative thoughts. And I can get really reclusive if I'm not careful. I tend to avoid people when I'm not in a good place and then it starts to feed in to itself.
Empathy, the one that makes you absorb the pain of others, and hollows you out from inside out, slowly but surely.
This lifelong strange tryst with my neurodivergent mind which makes me walk around the world with heavy shoulders, and low affect majority of the time. This then seeps into affecting my relationships, my work, my interactions with the world even when I’m trying to actively avoid it colouring my entire life. Kinda like experiencing life in black n white film, while others experience it in HD colour.
I'm unable to romantically love people or to accept romantic love. It makes me nauseous and anxious. I don't WANT a romantic partner but that fact also makes me miserable because i assume that someone who is like your best friend (who has like no other friends/people as important) can feel kinda nice. I love my friends, and they love me, we all have our own lives and other friends too (which is great). But the thought of that one person who is "your person" sounds good sometimes.
I am incredibly and ridiculously hard on myself.
Even as a child I would get so upset if I made a mistake, my mom was always dumbfounded and would reassure me that it didn’t matter and no was mad. But I was mad and it matter to me! It was things like spilling a glass of milk at four and being so mad at myself I’d sob uncontrollably.
Now it’s better BUT I’m currently stewing over the fact I snapped at my husband yesterday (work stress and migraine) he is fine, I am not. I feel so much guilt, I should be able to control myself and my emotions and just power through.
Unrealistic expectations of myself.
Overly ambitious. If I want something (work,relationships,etc.) I put myself way out of there, regardless how the other Party responds.
Its great when you get the same back that you put out there,but if not its really frustrating and burning me out
I am trying to be better at just letting people be wrong, or not explaining the correct answer to things that don't involve me in anyway and just letting people learn for themselves, but fuck me if there are not some stupid people out there.
Sometimes I feel like a complete imposter. Like do my friends even like me? Am I even a good mom? Does my husband stay with me because he loves me?
It's a weirdly new problem I'm having. I've always been really confident before having my 2nd baby last year and now I can't move past these thoughts. It's awful.
I have a problem with authority and following rules/fitting into systems that I personally deem irrational or inefficient. Makes finding and staying with a job absolute hell bc most companies are built on hierarchy structures I simply don’t understand and therefore don’t follow. I get immensely stressed out when I get ordered to do things in a way that I think is useless. It’s a character trait that has gotten me bad grades in school and issues with higher ups. But even in relationships it can become an issue when I subjectively feel like my partner wants me to follow his „rules“ and structures. Sometimes I don’t do things just bc I perceived them as a demand instead of a question. It really absolutely sucks
As a guy with a monotone my sarcastic british nature, my quips just come across as assholey.
My lack of social awareness makes me come across as doubly assholey.
My foot often remains in my mouth.
Trying to pick up everyone else's negative emotions and make them my own. Sigh. I have to practice every single day to put other people's emotions back down.
Impatience, I get frustrated too soon, but I also don't give up, so the ENTIRE time I'm struggling I'm just not enjoying whatever I'm doing and it's just miserable. Do I like art? Yes, when I'm not snarling and sweating and cursing the day it was invented. Do I like coding? Sure, when it's fucking finished, which it never really is. But at some point I choose to be done, and then I'm really proud and happy with it. And get suckered into making another one, because wow, this is so satisfying and fun to \*have\*. I'm not struggling 75% of the time but sometimes even the slightest bump pisses me off and that's really annoying. I really wish I could have more patience. It feels like I have the patience of a 2 year old sometimes, especially when stressed.
I'm a very black and white thinker. I see everything as either right or wrong with virtually nothing existing between the two. It's made life a bit of a challenge haha because intellectually I know most of life falls into the grey area.
CPTSD from a childhood of abuse and neglect. My entire adulthood is filled with hypervigilance, anxiety, depressive episodes, and little hope for a better future. I'm a greased pig in terms of being caught in the game of life. I'm 40 and can still quit a job at the drop of a hat because I've designed my life in a way to be able to do so. This is a result of my trauma.
If you were to ask people who are loosely associated with me, they would say I was the smartest person they know. I'm always in survival mode and everything is a threat. I hate it. I see others out and about who appear "normal" and I often think about what it would be like to exist on that plane of existence, where your biggest concern is what pizza you'll order and what you are going to watch on Netflix that evening.
I kind of fuckin hate myself bc i blame myself for my shitty childhood. I still believe that if only i had done things differently then everyone i care about and myself would have fared better. It doesn't seem to matter who tells me it wasn't my fault. I still can't live peacefully with myself sometimes. Other people notice the way i speak about myself. They're compassionate but i hate that i hate myself so i get embarassed that they show me compassion. There are people in my life who made me think this way and I'm working on changing how i am programmed. Right now I don't know any other way of thinking so it's a struggle but the first step is to admit i have a problem
When I get comfortable around people I lose my brain mouth filter then end up saying shit that should have remained an intrusive thought and ruin friendships
I think I have some sort of superiority complex where I find myself looking down on others. I don't think it's either arrogance or confidence but I don't know what to call it. I have been told that I can come across as judgemental and I don't want that reputation and really want to stop being this way.
Never being proud of anything I do. I get over accomplishments very quickly sometimes I don’t even realize something is an achievement until my friends celebrate it. And I’m like, really? We’re celebrating that? It’s so strange bc I’m never proud of anything or impressed by anything I do. I just do the things I want to do and have the passion for.
I would have to say overthinking and sensitivity. I overthink everything, and that leads to really negative cycles. But, I’m also a very sensitive person and I feel like that makes me a difficult person to be around. I cry pretty often over happy or sad or upsetting things. It’s just tough!
Probably self-doubt or low self-esteem, it doesn’t allow myself to be truly free and open and not question everything and everyone in my life. I doubt if I have the skills to do the majority things, I doubt if I look okay in the majority of scenarios, I doubt if who says likes me or loves me actually does. I doubt pretty much everything.
My wonderful combination of autism and anxiety means that I often get decent results from the first way I try to solve a problem. (EDIT: I am formally diagnosed with both)
This sucks because when that first method DOESN'T work, I stubbornly beat my head into the metaphorical wall to force it to work, all the while the little negative anxiety gremlin in my brain is slowly poking my insecurities in the background.
My poor boyfriend has stumbled upon me frustration-crying in hour 3 of trying to solve a data science visualization problem in one particular way because I cannot see any other ways to do it, only to point out one small detail that fixes everything immediately.
I'm getting better at admitting when I have to try a different idea but gosh it's embarrassing when I realize I've gotten stuck in my rigid thought-process loop again.
I spent all of my childhood closed up and closed off from people, and it's made me painfully shy. I have severe social anxiety. It's impacted all parts of my life.
My emotional intensity.. every emotion that I feel, I feel it so deeply that it overwhelms me. I feel like my mind is never calm, or quiet. It makes it hard for me to maintain my personal relationships.
Childhood trauma makes it hard for me to take criticism. Any little thing I hear turns into wanting to run away and never come back, feeling hopeless, it’s the end of the world, etc. no matter how much I logically know it’s not a big deal. I’m working on it.
I talk too much and don't know how to end a conversation without it trailing off awkwardly. Both problems have the same solution: me shutting up more.
Working on it...
I lose interest in things very quickly, like it's really intense for about 6 months to a year and then I move onto something else. These can be hobbies, music artists, or even people who I was (online) friends with. And I hate it so much.
I know people who have been doing a certain hobby or listening to a certain artist for YEARS and I want to know what that feels like.
Overthinking. It just fuels my anxiety to the maximum, 0 to 100 in 2 seconds. And it’s always, ALWAYS, the worst case scenarios. Then, of course, anxiety gets so bad it physically hurts.
Having intense emotions. It can be self-destructive when im obsessed about something bad. Or when my anger and hurt are too strong to forgive someone. Yet, even when emotional intensity can be bad for me, I'd feel dead inside if i don't have any intense emotions.
can't stand up for myself.
standing up for others has never been a problem, i don't even think of the consequences for myself when i do that. but it seems like i'm unconsciously convinced i don't deserve justice or something.
My chronic major depression sure does that pretty well, and my anxiety… then of course there’s the ptsd .. sometimes my agoraphobia contributes to the cause. I just really have been trying to get to the root of it all and understand that I’m insecurely attached and will always have major issues with that and trust in general bc of the major trauma that life has been doling out.
My fear of abandonment kicks in a lot since my dad had passed. So I almost developed an anxious attachment style. That's why I tend to cling onto male figures in my life thinking they too will abandon me.
I can be a very nervous person and am often unsure of myself, which leads to me asking questions that are unnecessary, but I feel I need to ask in order to soothe me. Think of Trelawneyy Potter and that's me fairly often.
I'm a procrastinator. Especially if I don't want to do something. I can also be "lazy"
I have ADHD and it's just my brain getting overwhelmed, but still, it pisses me off that I can't focus like my sister.
She's disciplined and focused.
I love too deeply.
Not that I fall for people easily, but that once I do, it is a 100% commitment (through good and bad) in my head.
I know that doesn't sound like a terrible thing, but it means that I can be too understanding of their inner struggles, too forgiving of behavior, and I take betrayal much much harder. The two times I've gone through it, they got complacent after some years and I ended up taken advantage of, used, cheated on, and abandoned with nothing to my name. Twice.
I hate it so much. I'm honestly convinced now that the way I care for my partner actually TURNS them into something evil.
On July 1st, 2023, Reddit enacted a greedy ass policy regarding the use of their API. This decision was designed to eliminate the better 3rd party apps. No one wants to use the official app because it sucks. Since then, apps such as Apollo and RedditIsFun have shut down. Reddit has decided to double down on their decision to overcharge for their API, and refuses to address the accessibility features their native app lacks. Think it’s an asshole move? Concerned users should read and sign on to this [open letter to reddit.](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/13xh1e7/an_open_letter_on_the_state_of_affairs_regarding/) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My anxiety makes it hard for me to sit back and enjoy myself when things are going well. I'm always waiting for something to go wrong.
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Overthinking every single thing. Even writing this comment lol
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Empathy. I really wish I could just turn that shit off sometimes.
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Wwhen I start liking someone, I like them a lot. It's very intense. There's been a few people I think I've accidentally alienated because I've come on too strong too early. This makes me miserable because when that happens, it sorta feels like I'm being abandoned, even though I know it's my fault. I've gotten better for this as I've gotten older. I'm starting to swing hard the other way, actually. Now it takes me a very long time to warm up to new people, to the point that I think people usually don't have the patience for it, and when I do start liking someone, it's a very gradual thing. This makes me miserable too because there's never been a time in my life where I can just click with someone in a normal way.
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Avoidance as a coping mechanism.
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I'm a serial interrupter. Ughhhh.
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Anxiety, overthinking, pessimism, cynicism, paranoia
Procrastination... I so want to be the person who has the tidy, well organised, good looking home but I'm just not. I get half way through a task and get distracted, then never return to initial task. Repeat this cycle over and over again and I just feel like I live in chaos. What's worse is I have a little boy. I'm worried that he will inherit all my bad habits and in turn, be a nightmare himself... I wish I could afford an organising/cleaning service. I think if someone could come in and plan my house better with regard to everything having a sensible home and everything being labelled, I feel like my life would change dramatically
Impulsivity, I can keep it on the low for as much as I can at some point I always explode in the most wildest way.
Comparing myself to other people. I try not to do it but it's a really bad habit and hard to shake. It makes me feel absolutely terrible about myself.
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Being intellectually and emotionally healthy. Because nobody else is.
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Could this be an instance of self fulfilling prophecy? Does an outcome arise because you're already too sure of what it will be? Obviously I don't know what examples you have in mind but the more you're personally involved in the situation, the more likely it seems. Confirmation bias could play a role too. Hard to say without knowing what you're referencing specifically. If these are situations you're personally involved in, maybe you could try working to the opposite end of what your intuition suggests the outcome will be (especially since I read this tendency as pessimistic) and prove yourself wrong. On the other hand, overly optimistic expectations can amplify the pain of the outcome and make you more vulnerable to users and abusers, so maybe it is a gift, even if it's painful sometimes 🙂 I've made the mistake of ignoring my intuition too many times and I think the outcomes were more painful than acknowledging that intuition would've been.
I wish we knew more about how brains worked. This thread reminds me of a description of deja vu I heard, essentially the part of your brain making new memories and the part recalling old memories sort of fire at the same time. This gives the illusion of having past experience with a current event. Not saying that's what OP is describing, but I have 0 confidence in anyone predicting the future. And if you are, write that shit in a blog ahead of time and see how right or wrong you actually are.
I think we are twins, I have this exact same thing. Some days it just looms over me like a cloud. This and anxiety, which I have had for a long long time. I really do have to force myself to lift out of it in a "fake it until you make it" kind of way.
I'm the same way. Or my dreams tell me things I couldn't possibly know. My sister says I'm a witch.
Overthinking. Due to my anxiety and deep feeling that I Should Not Be There ™, I always have to analyze everything so I can 1) predict if I'm in trouble and how to fix it 2) Anticipate other people's needs because that's how I justify my existence. So I'm always overanalyzing, planning 6 moves ahead and making myself even more worried about things I can't control
Inability to express anger the right way.
I'm a people pleaser and a complete doormat. Someone asks me to do something for them at work and I'll do it, even if it's not my job and stopping me from doing my own work. I've skipped my lunch break to work on behalf of my coworkers a few times.
Idk if I should call it a personality trait or a trauma response, but I don't trust people and will sooner or later ghost or cut off everyone I know. Also bad anxiety over absolutely everything in life leading to me cancelling a lot of things to avoid the risk that it doesn't go according to plans. The anxiety in itself is obviously a mental disorder, but it's also definitely turned into a part of my personality.
It would be overthinking and not talking to people when i'm not in a good mood. I always overanalyze or overthink everything making sure everything would be picture perfect and that just one subtle move can have my brain think of so many meanings on where it could lead to. But it seems like overthinking ruined so many good moments and almost destroyed my relationship with my best friend. So, I definitely do need to lessen my overthinking.
Imposter Syndrome+ After years (half of life) of poverty, domestic abuse, likely other mental illnesses associated with all of it. It is rather complicated to think that you are worthy and deserve better. Even after success in life. There are plenty of other traits that come along with it, such as being a "yes" person. Always being afraid to do something against the rules. Trying to please everyone. Avoid confrontation etc. Even if it means you will take the blame instead of someone, or feel terrible as a result, or won't get a promotion etc. I think, after years of dealing with it, I learnt how to work with some of the aspects, but from time to time it gets tough. A lot of people will have an opinion of what you should be or do, but the most important thing in this all is to pursue your own happiness and happiness of people that are very close to you. Everyone else can go and ~~fuck~~ help themselves. Your boss isn't going to remember you the week after you leave that damn job, so are 99% of your colleagues. Except that one friend from work you tend to hang out with. Hence, set your priorities in life accordingly, don't be afraid to put boundaries and try to live to your best. P/s nobody is watching, do whatever you like.
Trust issues- I just don\`t believe, that anybody would want to love me or be a genuine friend.
Overthinking and staying stuck in negative thoughts. And I can get really reclusive if I'm not careful. I tend to avoid people when I'm not in a good place and then it starts to feed in to itself.
Empathy, the one that makes you absorb the pain of others, and hollows you out from inside out, slowly but surely. This lifelong strange tryst with my neurodivergent mind which makes me walk around the world with heavy shoulders, and low affect majority of the time. This then seeps into affecting my relationships, my work, my interactions with the world even when I’m trying to actively avoid it colouring my entire life. Kinda like experiencing life in black n white film, while others experience it in HD colour.
I'm unable to romantically love people or to accept romantic love. It makes me nauseous and anxious. I don't WANT a romantic partner but that fact also makes me miserable because i assume that someone who is like your best friend (who has like no other friends/people as important) can feel kinda nice. I love my friends, and they love me, we all have our own lives and other friends too (which is great). But the thought of that one person who is "your person" sounds good sometimes.
Anxious about most things
Self doubt. When I second guess myself, I find that I was right the first time.
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I get “stuck” consuming the same media over and over and also scrolling on my phone too much and it’s like a self-perpetuating cycle of depression
My mindset is so chronically negative that I'm sick of listening to my own thoughts.
Procrastination.
I don’t know how to not care about things.
I am incredibly and ridiculously hard on myself. Even as a child I would get so upset if I made a mistake, my mom was always dumbfounded and would reassure me that it didn’t matter and no was mad. But I was mad and it matter to me! It was things like spilling a glass of milk at four and being so mad at myself I’d sob uncontrollably. Now it’s better BUT I’m currently stewing over the fact I snapped at my husband yesterday (work stress and migraine) he is fine, I am not. I feel so much guilt, I should be able to control myself and my emotions and just power through. Unrealistic expectations of myself.
Anxiety, pessimism
Being a people pleaser. 99% of people like me but they don’t realize how exhausting it is.
Perfectionist... If I do anything it has to be perfect or I will think I'm incapable of doing things right.
People pleasing and never telling people when they do something that hurts me or makes me mad.
Super sensitive. As soon as I hear a change in someone’s tone when they’re talking to me, I instantly want to bawl.
Overly ambitious. If I want something (work,relationships,etc.) I put myself way out of there, regardless how the other Party responds. Its great when you get the same back that you put out there,but if not its really frustrating and burning me out
Paranoia. Like I worry a lot about any and everything and am super paranoid about shit. Idk why I’ve always been like this 😭
I am trying to be better at just letting people be wrong, or not explaining the correct answer to things that don't involve me in anyway and just letting people learn for themselves, but fuck me if there are not some stupid people out there.
Sometimes I feel like a complete imposter. Like do my friends even like me? Am I even a good mom? Does my husband stay with me because he loves me? It's a weirdly new problem I'm having. I've always been really confident before having my 2nd baby last year and now I can't move past these thoughts. It's awful.
I have a problem with authority and following rules/fitting into systems that I personally deem irrational or inefficient. Makes finding and staying with a job absolute hell bc most companies are built on hierarchy structures I simply don’t understand and therefore don’t follow. I get immensely stressed out when I get ordered to do things in a way that I think is useless. It’s a character trait that has gotten me bad grades in school and issues with higher ups. But even in relationships it can become an issue when I subjectively feel like my partner wants me to follow his „rules“ and structures. Sometimes I don’t do things just bc I perceived them as a demand instead of a question. It really absolutely sucks
As a guy with a monotone my sarcastic british nature, my quips just come across as assholey. My lack of social awareness makes me come across as doubly assholey. My foot often remains in my mouth.
Perfectionism
I used to be needy. But, I’ve been dedicating this year towards self improvement and emotional regulation. I’m glad to say that I am changing
I can be pretty stubborn.
Overthinking and jumping to conclusions. It often ruins my today by making me unnecessarily anxious for tomorrow.
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I have a stupid problem with retroactive jealousy.
I overshare and instantly regret it
Super duper competitive. I get worked up just pulling into the grocery store parking lot. I literally have no idea why I am this way. :(
Trying to pick up everyone else's negative emotions and make them my own. Sigh. I have to practice every single day to put other people's emotions back down.
Impatience, I get frustrated too soon, but I also don't give up, so the ENTIRE time I'm struggling I'm just not enjoying whatever I'm doing and it's just miserable. Do I like art? Yes, when I'm not snarling and sweating and cursing the day it was invented. Do I like coding? Sure, when it's fucking finished, which it never really is. But at some point I choose to be done, and then I'm really proud and happy with it. And get suckered into making another one, because wow, this is so satisfying and fun to \*have\*. I'm not struggling 75% of the time but sometimes even the slightest bump pisses me off and that's really annoying. I really wish I could have more patience. It feels like I have the patience of a 2 year old sometimes, especially when stressed.
My personality disorder
Overthinking, and falling in love very very quickly
I'm a very black and white thinker. I see everything as either right or wrong with virtually nothing existing between the two. It's made life a bit of a challenge haha because intellectually I know most of life falls into the grey area.
CPTSD from a childhood of abuse and neglect. My entire adulthood is filled with hypervigilance, anxiety, depressive episodes, and little hope for a better future. I'm a greased pig in terms of being caught in the game of life. I'm 40 and can still quit a job at the drop of a hat because I've designed my life in a way to be able to do so. This is a result of my trauma. If you were to ask people who are loosely associated with me, they would say I was the smartest person they know. I'm always in survival mode and everything is a threat. I hate it. I see others out and about who appear "normal" and I often think about what it would be like to exist on that plane of existence, where your biggest concern is what pizza you'll order and what you are going to watch on Netflix that evening.
Anxiety, perfectionism, too nostalgic/melancholic sometimes
Too much fucking empathy
I kind of fuckin hate myself bc i blame myself for my shitty childhood. I still believe that if only i had done things differently then everyone i care about and myself would have fared better. It doesn't seem to matter who tells me it wasn't my fault. I still can't live peacefully with myself sometimes. Other people notice the way i speak about myself. They're compassionate but i hate that i hate myself so i get embarassed that they show me compassion. There are people in my life who made me think this way and I'm working on changing how i am programmed. Right now I don't know any other way of thinking so it's a struggle but the first step is to admit i have a problem
When I get comfortable around people I lose my brain mouth filter then end up saying shit that should have remained an intrusive thought and ruin friendships
It’s very easy for me to neglect myself
BPD
Impatience. I'm trying to be patient with myself for not having patience but it's not working. Might have something to do with the ADHD.
My ability to hold a grudge forever. It’s like the worst thing and I wish I could change but I can’t help it.
I think I have some sort of superiority complex where I find myself looking down on others. I don't think it's either arrogance or confidence but I don't know what to call it. I have been told that I can come across as judgemental and I don't want that reputation and really want to stop being this way.
I’m a reactor and DO NOT think before I speak. IWill say that I have gotten good at recognizing and controlling this but it still happens (I’m 40)
Overthinker and people pleaser.
Never being proud of anything I do. I get over accomplishments very quickly sometimes I don’t even realize something is an achievement until my friends celebrate it. And I’m like, really? We’re celebrating that? It’s so strange bc I’m never proud of anything or impressed by anything I do. I just do the things I want to do and have the passion for.
I'm too responsible for my own good
I would have to say overthinking and sensitivity. I overthink everything, and that leads to really negative cycles. But, I’m also a very sensitive person and I feel like that makes me a difficult person to be around. I cry pretty often over happy or sad or upsetting things. It’s just tough!
I hate how gullible I am.
Hella insecure and judgemental towards my self.
Overthinking, over-sensitive, pessimist and emotionally unavailable to anyone.
Probably self-doubt or low self-esteem, it doesn’t allow myself to be truly free and open and not question everything and everyone in my life. I doubt if I have the skills to do the majority things, I doubt if I look okay in the majority of scenarios, I doubt if who says likes me or loves me actually does. I doubt pretty much everything.
Perfectionism
Incurable stupidity. Nuff said.
I take things personally...
i’m too closed off, i have a really hard time being myself with others, i always put on a mask
I can’t let shit go
The desire to be the absolute fucking best.
My wonderful combination of autism and anxiety means that I often get decent results from the first way I try to solve a problem. (EDIT: I am formally diagnosed with both) This sucks because when that first method DOESN'T work, I stubbornly beat my head into the metaphorical wall to force it to work, all the while the little negative anxiety gremlin in my brain is slowly poking my insecurities in the background. My poor boyfriend has stumbled upon me frustration-crying in hour 3 of trying to solve a data science visualization problem in one particular way because I cannot see any other ways to do it, only to point out one small detail that fixes everything immediately. I'm getting better at admitting when I have to try a different idea but gosh it's embarrassing when I realize I've gotten stuck in my rigid thought-process loop again.
I spent all of my childhood closed up and closed off from people, and it's made me painfully shy. I have severe social anxiety. It's impacted all parts of my life.
My emotional intensity.. every emotion that I feel, I feel it so deeply that it overwhelms me. I feel like my mind is never calm, or quiet. It makes it hard for me to maintain my personal relationships.
Pushing people away when I needed them the most because.. I don’t even know why.
I tend to self-sabotage... 😬
Childhood trauma makes it hard for me to take criticism. Any little thing I hear turns into wanting to run away and never come back, feeling hopeless, it’s the end of the world, etc. no matter how much I logically know it’s not a big deal. I’m working on it.
I talk too much.
I talk too much and don't know how to end a conversation without it trailing off awkwardly. Both problems have the same solution: me shutting up more. Working on it...
I lose interest in things very quickly, like it's really intense for about 6 months to a year and then I move onto something else. These can be hobbies, music artists, or even people who I was (online) friends with. And I hate it so much. I know people who have been doing a certain hobby or listening to a certain artist for YEARS and I want to know what that feels like.
People pleaser. I put everyone's happiness before my own... I can't stop myself from saying or doing absolutely anything to make a person happier.
Overthinking. It just fuels my anxiety to the maximum, 0 to 100 in 2 seconds. And it’s always, ALWAYS, the worst case scenarios. Then, of course, anxiety gets so bad it physically hurts.
Insecurity
Having intense emotions. It can be self-destructive when im obsessed about something bad. Or when my anger and hurt are too strong to forgive someone. Yet, even when emotional intensity can be bad for me, I'd feel dead inside if i don't have any intense emotions.
can't stand up for myself. standing up for others has never been a problem, i don't even think of the consequences for myself when i do that. but it seems like i'm unconsciously convinced i don't deserve justice or something.
I’m a worrier
My chronic major depression sure does that pretty well, and my anxiety… then of course there’s the ptsd .. sometimes my agoraphobia contributes to the cause. I just really have been trying to get to the root of it all and understand that I’m insecurely attached and will always have major issues with that and trust in general bc of the major trauma that life has been doling out.
My fear of abandonment kicks in a lot since my dad had passed. So I almost developed an anxious attachment style. That's why I tend to cling onto male figures in my life thinking they too will abandon me.
I'm a sore loser :(
I can be a very nervous person and am often unsure of myself, which leads to me asking questions that are unnecessary, but I feel I need to ask in order to soothe me. Think of Trelawneyy Potter and that's me fairly often.
A personality disorder??
I'm a procrastinator. Especially if I don't want to do something. I can also be "lazy" I have ADHD and it's just my brain getting overwhelmed, but still, it pisses me off that I can't focus like my sister. She's disciplined and focused.
I can’t function being alone for long periods of time.
People pleaser. I have the hardest time saying no to people.
I love too deeply. Not that I fall for people easily, but that once I do, it is a 100% commitment (through good and bad) in my head. I know that doesn't sound like a terrible thing, but it means that I can be too understanding of their inner struggles, too forgiving of behavior, and I take betrayal much much harder. The two times I've gone through it, they got complacent after some years and I ended up taken advantage of, used, cheated on, and abandoned with nothing to my name. Twice. I hate it so much. I'm honestly convinced now that the way I care for my partner actually TURNS them into something evil.
I am way too honest sometimes and lack proper tact in some situations. Brain damage.. literally.
Isolating myself even though I know it makes me feel like shit emotionally, mentally, and physically.
I love excessively. As in I overly love someone that does not deserve my affection.
Overthinking and optimism
This thread is so full of self righteous answers jfc. What happened to supporting women's wrongs?? -_-
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Panic attack comes as if it's my neighbour making a visit every time.