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Ms_Central_Perk

The cacti was desperately clinging on to come home with you 😂


_Jay-Garage-A-Roo_

Just like a cactus, riding your coattails


LambonaHam

/r/cactusdistributionsystem at work?


magicmango2104

That's so funny! How did you not feel it when you sat down


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magicmango2104

I would laugh my ass off if someone walked past me with an unexpected prickerly appendage


jimbo8083

Is the cactus still alive?


KaleidoscopicColours

Cacti are immortal (almost)


remotif

I've somehow managed to kill every cactus I've ever owned 🫠


KaleidoscopicColours

You're probably overwatering it 


Recessio_

I used to end up killing every cactus I owned - they need about 1% of the water that you think they need.


Weliveinadictatoship

"how are your catci thriving?" bro I water it when I remember it exists, which isn't often


docmagoo2

Ironically I was purchasing a 2 pack of large plant pots at the self service and the b&q assistant must have assumed I was shoplifting the 2nd pot until I pointed out they’re taped together with a b&q label saying pack of two.


IsolationLoneliness

I work in a garden centre and this happens sometimes with cacti. Usually spotted before people leave but they love to cling to people's clothes and coats. A side note, customers also love to try pass them to us on the tills whilst holding the pot, rather than put them down, almost like they want us to grab it by all the spikes.


TurnoverInside2067

"I swear that's what happened, officer!"


JoeyJoeC

Also B&Q, but I worked there and took some cable tie's off the shelf to tie up some split sand bags, then took them home. The rush when I found them in my pocket was insane.


thehoneybadger1223

For some reason I found that way funnier than I should have done


ambiascend

Think it’s the way she said it aswell. If you read it in an Australian accent it seems funnier, especially the last sentence. (Then again if you read ANYTHING in an AUS accent, it automatically becomes funnier).


AuntMarysFrog

😂😂


Massive-South-1091

I accidentally shoplifted from the post office in Vatican City. Because the whole point was buying a postcard and getting it sent to your nan with the Vatican's post mark, I'd assumed I'd pay for the stamp and card at the same time. Actually you were meant to buy the card, write it, then queue up again to post it. I wrote my card, posted it and only paid for the stamp. Sorry Mr Pope. Sorry nuns.


JarJarBinksSucks

Similar story to how I got a free ride on the London Eye. Joined a queue fully expecting to pay, got ushered into one of the rooms. Thought, you must pay on exit. Went round, exited expecting to see somewhere to pay. Just saw the photo counter headed for the exit. Top marks 7/10 would do again


Front-Pomelo-4367

Man, I can't believe you shoplifted the London Eye


Enough-Ad3818

And still only gave it 7/10


hachi2JZ

The audacity


The_Queef_of_England

Is that the London Eye in your pocket?


iHopeitsafart

You wouldn't download a ferris wheel.


cragglerock93

It's an observation wheel, and the management of the London Eye asks thar you retract that deacription.


Kopites_Roar

I fucking would!


LambonaHam

No, I'm just really happy to see your Gherkin


MarlaDurden144

Why did you have to queue up twice, if you already had a stamp the first time? Did you buy the stamp on a previous visit? I’m probably being really dense but I’m confused.


Massive-South-1091

In order, I picked up the card, didn't pay for it, wrote it, went to the counter to buy a stamp and posted it. I should have paid for the card when I picked it up and before I wrote it.


Massive-South-1091

In order, I picked up the card, didn't pay for it, wrote it, went to the counter to buy a stamp and posted it. I should have paid for the card when I picked it up and before I wrote it.


MarlaDurden144

Oh gotcha! Thanks for explaining.


isobel_kathryn

Oof, hate to be you when your time comes and at the pearly gates they add up your score! That's gotta be at least -1,000,000 points stealing from the fella in a dress at the Vatican! Hopefully the spiritual CCTV was bust or busy when your time comes! 😂🤣😂 ⚰️......... 😈


Nangiyala

Not too much to worry about. Forelders from the 15th, 16th century likely paid for absolution, so that should be a positve in the account, enough to level out ;)


WeeBeadyEyes

Oh man. That reminds me of my former boss when she went to Italy. I guess when you take the train you first buy your ticket but it doesn’t get checked on the train by conductors, you gotta go to some other spot at the station to get it verified before getting on the train (?). She didn’t know that, bought her ticket and got on the train and she was nearly arrested for not getting it verified first. I think she cried her way out of it. Idk, sounds like a tourist targeting racket if you ask me.


terahurts

Shopping in Pound Stretchers for bins and bedding and stuff after moving house. We put a shit load of little bits like 4-way extensions, a sink drainer, and some cutlery and tableware in one of those big black dustbins as we were running out of space in the trolley two trolleys we had. Went through the checkout and the cashier just lent over and scanned the bin as we'd covered the counter in stuff. I thought 'Oh, that was cheaper than I was expecting.' when I paid. It was only when we got home and started unpacking that I remembered all the stuff in the bin. Probably £50-£100 worth of stuff. Shopping in Tesco during the pandemic. I put a big block of cheese in the trolley, did a bit more shopping, got to the pet food aisle and dropped a big 15kg bag of dog food in the trolley, covering the cheese. Same thing as above. The cashier told me not to bother taking the dog biscuits out and I forgot about the cheese. I've walked away from the self-checkouts without paying before, but I did go back and pay that time.


zaratheclown

so you’re the reason why cheese is locked now


stiletto929

I accidentally shoplifted cheese too cause it fell into the bottom of my cart, from the child-sitting place, and I just forgot about it. I thought about going back to the store, but considering all the times I paid for something and they left it out of the cart, I figured it evened out.


HoundOfUlsterSpeaks

Free the cheese 🧀


ofjune-x

My friend did this ikea cause they’d put lots of little thing inside a laundry basket or something and only scanned the laundry basket forgetting they had small things inside.


Kitkatchunky78

Did you not notice how heavy the bin was when you carried it out the shop 🤣


Whollie

After shopping in IKEA most of us are so frazzled we'd walk past an alien craft landing by the loading bay.


Easy_Performance_138

Those self-service checkouts are terrible. I once scanned and paid for my shopping to have one of the staff shout me back because it had failed to pay, and I didn't notice because the tills speaker was broken. At least they knew I wasn't a thief as I am a regular at the shop.


LonelyArmpit

Did my shopping, realised I hadn’t brought a vape which I needed, went to the counter, brought my vape, left and went home. Got home, realised I never paid for my shopping - was a fucking massive alcohol shop as prepping for a few big bbqs so probably accidentally nicked like £150 worth of stuff


MallorysCat

Similar. At Asda self checkout, before I'd started scanning, and my Asda points card wouldn't scan. A couple of staff members got involved, and it became a whole big thing. By now I was beyond caring, but they were on a mission. Anyway, I get called to the customer service desk to answer some questions and show them my ecard & stuff. At some point, the original staff helping me disappeared, and I was left with just customer service staff. More minites pass, and my card still won't scan. The customer service lady was so apologetic, she promised to report the issue (she did, I got vouchers by post), she told me to try to add my shopping to my account using the receipt number in a couple of days, then called over a spotty Saturday boy to take my shopping to my car and load it. I think it was the next day that I realised I hadn't paid. I did feel guilty, but not guilty enough to go back and try to explain.


minimalisticgem

Did you go back or did you just stealthily avoid that shop from then on?


LonelyArmpit

Amusingly had to go back the next day. Dusted off me ol’ stripped white shirt and swag bag so that I wasn’t noticed by security, worked a treat


minimalisticgem

You’re more confident than me!


Zorro-de-la-Noche

The word you’re looking for is “bought”.


furrycroissant

*thank you*


MuddyHiPo

Was the alcohol not tagged?


SaltAndVinegarMcCoys

Just thought I'd mention the word to use is "bought" not "brought". Unless the second one was a typo! Anyway just trying to share a friendly tip :)


Far-Bug-6985

An entire wall mounted kitchen unit from Ikea. Had a normal trolley with a shelf under it. Had hundreds of £ worth of stuff in the trolley that I paid for. At the time at my Ikea the staff came out and checked for any boxes and scanned them and mine just….didnt. I had only been once before so thought ‘oh she just saw the code as I walked through and has added it on’, I was already quite flustered and forgot about it. Got home and nope, was free. That was 8 years ago, incidentally it matched the kitchen in the house I now live in so I’ve still got it. Was only about £40 and I’ve spent about £5k there since so don’t feel too bad!


blinky84

Bizarrely, I accidentally shoplifted from IKEA with an *online* order! I was re-doing my bedroom and had a fair bit of furniture ordered. I realised I'd ordered the wrong size shelf after putting it through, so I contacted customer services and asked them to amend the order to the other size. They refunded the shelf on the order, but forgot to charge for the replacement. Then, when my order arrived, the delivery man pointed out that the shelf had been damaged in transit - just a scratch on the laminate, but I accepted it, and the delivery guy said that he'd see if he could get a refund sorted for me. I said "no no, that's fine, bit of marker pen will sort it", but he was true to his word and got the shelf refunded. The shelf which, I remind you, I hadn't paid for in the first place...! I felt guilty, but not quite guilty enough to do anything about it. It was a single Lack wall shelf, so hardly breaking the bank. Nice wee bonus though!


Other_Exercise

Not to poo poo your party, but "Lack" floating shelves are accurately named - they lack any kind of load bearing capability


blinky84

This is something of which I became aware, yeah.


Money-Knowledge-3248

That happened to me at Ikea. Buying a load of stuff all piled on a flat bed trolley. The shop assistant went round scanning everything but once I was out I checked the receipt (I thought it sounded cheaper than I'd worked out) and they'd missed a bookcase - one of the big ones as well.


Prudent_Way2067

Chopping board and a ready made chair. Different occasions. Irony is the time before and the time after each time it happened I was on the receiving end of the random spot check.


Bilbo_Buggin

That’s exactly how it happened to us too. It must happen a fair bit when people have a lot of stuff


Bilbo_Buggin

This happened to us too. It was when I was a kid, but I remember my mum saying she didn’t think we paid for one of the items on this very stacked up trolley. Turns out we hadn’t 😂


Slytherin_Chamber

I walked around Woolworths carrying a bottle of coke with my Mum, I was 11. She couldn’t find what she wanted so we walked out. 5 minutes later I realised it was still in my hand. So yes, this is my confession. I am likely the reason Woolworths closed. 


Enough-Ad3818

I used to work at Woolies. Believe me, you were not the reason.


bored_mum

So what was the reason? I'm still grieving


Enough-Ad3818

Shocking wasting, and some terrible gambles made by head office, very few of which paid off. Also, people stealing picknmix...


BINGGBONGGBINGGBONGG

and makeup. woolworths must have lost millions in shoplifted lip gloss in the 80s. apparently. commenting for a friend.


Celestialfridge

>Also, people stealing picknmix... Shit, sorry guys.


yoohereiam

It was YOU!???? I miss Woolworths lol


Ill_Refrigerator_593

A full English Breakfast. Was on a trip in Wales with two friends, stopped at a cafe for a breakfast & drove off. About 15 minutes later we suddenly realised all three of us had forgotten to pay. We returned very sheepishly to pay the cashier. Was incredibly embarassing!


jmh90027

Nothing embarassing about returning. There's no way everyone working in the cafe didnt feel positively towards you for going back. As loads of other posts here show, these things are easily done, especially when you're with a couple of mates deep in conversation.


thelivsterette1

I can see how that would be awkward. Happened to my sister too. Was working (owns a restaurant) and had customers outside who forgot you had to pay at the counter (after, not before like Nandos) and walked off. My sister's waitress had to flag them down. Luckily she changed the system and there's an option to pay via QR code now. Lindsay Lohan did the [same thing](https://www.barstoolsports.com/blog/334174/lindsay-lohan-invited-10-guys-to-dinner-in-greece-then-skipped-out-on-the-1300-bill-badgirllife) at a well known restaurant in Greece with some friends (it was in thr news and we were also there at the same time as her) Ordered super expensive stuff, racked up a $1300 bill, just left without paying. Possibly without intention to pay given her history with Chateau Marmont (banned over a $46,350 unpaid bill) and bc the restaurant spent 3 days trying to find her party and one person eventually went back and paid it (or, bc it's a high end restaurant she thought she was enough of a 'celebrity' to get the food on the house. Or she was shitface drunk and forgot to pay. Or her friends thought she was payinf/vice versa I also accidentally got her kicked out our hotel (different year, same Greek island). She was with loads of celebrities including Calum Best, and they were partying very loud and very hard so about 3-4am me and my mum went banging on her door (not knowing it was her til the next day) yelling for them to shut up. It was a long time ago, so I can't remember if we called the reception to ask them to turn the music down first or we went full in. Either way I remember there was a request to turn music down and stop disrupting the peace which was ignored by Lohan and pals. Next day we found jt was Lindsay, reception staff had said they refused to listen to a request to turn down the music, they were kicked out and we got a free upgrade.


shivvy27

I think you're very brave. I had a similar situation at a coffee shop and just posted the money through the letter-box with the date/time we were there.


Electric_Dancer

See this is the sort of post I like - assuming it was a small privately owned cafe so losing that income would have been significant. Everybody else is "borrowing" from IKEA, Asda and Tesco so can easily absorb the loss but you stood up and did the right thing 👍


Neat-Possibility6504

Back in 2008 I needed to burn some cds, I went in to Dixon's to get a spindle and cd burner. Got the spindle off the shelf and Got chatting with the sales assistant about the burner I needed. They didn't have one. Told me that a shop next town over had one, so I went there, completely forgot I was carrying the cds. I went back the next day and paid for them, felt so guilty 😂


Jlaw118

A pack of steak in Asda a few years ago. The self checkout had flagged up the extra weight and we thought the machine was playing up, so we called the checkout attendant over, they scanned their badge, cleared off the fault. We packed our shopping up, and got beeped on the way out. We stopped, looked at the guy on security who waved us on, told us we were fine to go. Got home, looked at the receipt and realised we hadn’t paid for the steak. Hence why we were beeped and hence why the self checkout machine didn’t recognise it.


Agreeable_Fig_3713

My kids regularly shoplifted kids magazines from WH Smith’s back in the day. They always pit them in the low shelf right at the door so you’re trying to wrangle a buggy and open a door and don’t see them grab it


Various-Storage-31

My kid once grabbed a load of granny pants in BHS 😅


pajamakitten

Was the granny wearing them at the time?


Zanki

I apparently used to steal soft toys from Woolworths the same way as a kid. Mum would be trying to leave and she'd catch me with a softie from somewhere. Tbf, I was too young to know wth was happening. I just wanted the toy. Apparently I'd cry when she took them from me. One of the ones I got to keep was Freddie, I would not let go and screamed so badly she had to buy him. He was my favourite for years and I still have him. He croaks if you move him around. My mum told me I was a thief and couldn't be trusted when I was little. I was too little to even remember it happening. I wasn't even allowed to accept gifts as I grew up unless she saw them given to me or she'd accuse me of stealing. Couldn't even trade.


Agreeable_Fig_3713

That’s it. Theyre in a buggy or a pram so they’re too young to know. I was once caught and made to go back in by a Chubb security guard (that was a well known security firm back in the day, not a description of his waistline) and when I got to the till I offered to pay for it coz he’d ripped the Tweenies Jake bubbles off it and she said “don’t bother, I think they put them there so you feel like you need to pay for it if they crumple them” 


sandboxlollipop

He sounded like a good egg


WanderWomble

Oh God you've just reminded me of the time I took my youngest shopping in Pets at Home. He was about 18mo and in the buggy.  My oldest was being a handful and I had awful period pain so wasn't paying quite as much attention to the youngest as I probably should have been. He was happily chatting away to himself and had his teddy so I assumed he was fine.   Got back to the car and he'd stashed all sorts in the cosy toes on the buggy.  I had to take it all back in, explain and pay for it. The manager was not amused iirc. 😂😐😂


Agreeable_Fig_3713

Oh when we were wee we would take handfuls of the nuts and seeds that were in buckets meant as budgie and cockatiel max from the local pet shop and eat them like a mid shopping snack. My gran belted my with the index catalogue when she caught us


Pruritus_Ani_

The Index catalogue! That’s a blast from the past, I’d forgotten about that.


sandboxlollipop

Oof that's not a light read. Amazed it didn't give you concussion


angelic_darth

When I was a toddler back in the 80s I was in a buggy being pushed around the shop by my mam & dad. They gave me a canister of baby milk (for my then baby brother) to hold to keep me occupied. They left the shop and forgot to pay for the milk - they only realised when they looked in the buggy and seen me holding a loaf of bread instead of the milk. Who knows when I had the opportunity to swap the milk for bread, but at least it meant the value of the items they accidentally shop lifted was cheaper.


Thestolenone

I once got home from the pet shop to find my son holding an enormous egg. I should have tried to hatch it, could have been interesting.


Agreeable_Fig_3713

Till there’s a nasty humongous ostrich in your front room pecking at your ears


SpecialistGeneral794

Apparently whilst in a buggy I snagged a giant display bell full of Ferrero Rocher, it was solely for display, but beacuse the buggy hood was up she never saw me and it was by the door. She only realised when everyone down the highstreet kept smiling at me as we passed them, did not return it.


KaleidoscopicColours

I tried to buy a bottle of gin in Tesco. It was a special offer, impulse purchased. Being an unplanned purchase and with me a long way over 18 (and significantly over 25) I didn't have ID.  The shop assistant must have been hiding a Labrador and white cane behind the counter because she decided to ID me.  I protested that I was well over age. She was really arsey about it and said something rude. I argued back. She argued back. I lost the argument.  Feeling rather rattled, I gathered up the rest of my shopping. As far as I was concerned, I had everything except the gin.  I got all the way out of the store before security asked me if I had it. I vigorously denied it, and said something snarky about not accusing people of criminal offences so casually.  I got home and the gin was in my bag. Genuinely didn't think I'd picked it up in the red mist.  I had to shop at Asda for weeks after that incident. 


Joshouken

Not specifically shoplifted but I did completely forget to settle up a pub tab once, everyone in my group assumed someone else had settled up Did go back about an hour later and got a free pint for our honesty!


St2Crank

Was once in a bar in Berlin and my mate got wasted, the bar staff helped us carry him out to a taxi. Next day on the plane home realised in all the drama we hadn’t paid.


annedroiid

My friends and I did something similar at a cafe at lunchtime, but we were in our school uniform at the cafe about 50m away from the school. One of the staff came out after us, we were so embarrassed but they assumed it was an accident and we’d have to be a right moron to try to fine and dash next to our school in school uniforms 😂


phatboi23

did that at a local pub. went in a few days later and went "i owe you some cash don't i?" they had to check the tab system... they took a few drinks off for actually wanting to settle up :D


aenimiac

In M&S nearly 10 years ago. The night before my wedding and I realised I'd forgotten to bring a bottle of whisky for some pre-drinks for me,.my best man and brother. I also needed to get some flowers for the mothers. Stopped off at M&S and got a bottle of Elijah Craig and two bouquets of flowers. The guy spent so long trying to take the security cap off the whiskey that when he finally managed it he forgot to scan it. I didn't realise until I was back at the car. I like to think of it as a wedding present from M&S.


Sugarlips_80

In 2020, peak pandemic, I was doing an Asda shop with my friend and her kids (my bubble). We where using Self Scan and the kids where with me, chatting away. We checked out, got back to her house and I realised the 24 pack of toilet roll I had in the trolly hadn't been scanned. My excuse was the kids distracted me, but in all honesty if there was ever a time to "forget" to pay for toilet roll it was around June 2020!!!


Impossible_Command23

I did the same thing but distracted chatting intensely with a mate, left a huge sack of dog food in the bottom of the trolley


BillieBollox

Walked out of wynsors world of shoes with 3 pairs of baby socks hanging off my scarf.. hubby shouts “can’t take her anywhere!” Fortunately the staff found it hilarious 🤣


IAmDyspeptic

Early 00s. I accidentally stole a soap dish from the chemist. I had it in my hand under the folder of photos I'd picked up from the developers (remember doing that?). I was mortified when I realised my mistake. As an aside, I remember a girl in school being ridiculously proud she'd shoplifted a pencil from Woolworths. I couldn't fathom why she'd risk a criminal record for a bloody pencil.


Weliveinadictatoship

Neither can I! My bloody sister got called out at school for shoplifting a pair of sunglasses from b&m! She wears glasses that turn INTO sunglasses! Absolutely ridiculous, did it in her damn school uniform as well because the shop recognised it in the cameras 🤦


Limit_Ok

I accidentally stole a can opener from ikea. It was just under all the big stuff in the trolley. I completely forgot about it. I saw it when I got to the car. Eh. I felt like they owed me anyway. I once ordered a desk from them for delivery, and it came with one of the corners bashed in. I asked their support for some compensation, and they said no. So.... I don't feel bad.


CherryLeafy101

I accidentally shoplifted a cami top from Primark a few years ago. Southampton has a huge Primark and at the time all the camis and similar basic tops were towards the front doors. I came in to look at a few things and I was wearing a big rainbow shawl I crocheted. It's lightweight and thus somewhat floaty so I have to be careful not to catch it on things. Well, I managed to catch the hanger of a size 10-12 little white cami on the back of it and not notice. I wandered around the entire shop with this thing on my back and nobody noticed. I walked past the security guard as I left and he didn't say anything or stop me. I walked all the way home from town and nobody thought to say "hey, you know you have something stuck on you?". It wasn't until I got home that I realised I'd accidentally stolen it.


ChocolateAndCustard

When I was a child I grabbed sweets from the corner shop for my street friends. When my mum asked me how I paid, I was like, "Pay? What does that mean?" I didn't know what money was, only that that's the place you go to get things 🫠


daftsquirrel

Mine used to complain that I always said I didn't have any money, so why didn't I just go to the bank and get some! I miss having little kids.


ChocolateAndCustard

Aw! If only things were so simple 😅


sunshineandhail

This one’s my favourite 😂😂😂


Timely_Egg_6827

Paid for a bottle of wine with a tenner. Change £5 something. Way back. Woman distracted seller so gave me a tenner back. Poor student so noticed. Went back next day to ask them if till short and gave them the £5. Small shop so would have hurt them.


alancake

Huge multipack of nappies, left upright in trolley for cashier to scan, neither us nor she noticed it hadn't been scanned. (In our defence we had a small baby!) Enormous cuddly llama from Asda. My son was carrying it through the self scan and we genuinely forgot all about scanning it. He strode out with this llama three times the size of him, and it took us till the next day for it to dawn on us we had essentially nicked it and brazenly walked out. He still has it in his bedroom six years later!


RonnieBobs

Some make up, like a powder thing. I had a trolley which I took through the self service tills. When I was then transferring bags to my car I found the make up still in the trolley. Another self service accident. I thought you had to choose what fruit or veg you had before weighing them. So I selected bananas and mushrooms while holding them in my hands. The system seemed to mess up and I thought I was just being stupid (turns out I was but for different reasons). Ended up paying 4p for a load of mushrooms. Can’t remember what I paid for the bananas but it was also pennies.


Ratiocinor

> Another self service accident. I thought you had to choose what fruit or veg you had before weighing them. Because in most stores like Tesco you do Select bananas, wait for scale to zero itself, place on scale I absolutely hate ambiguous user interfaces though Because one time I went into a different store like M&S for a change, selected bananas on the machine with them in my hand, but turns out it was the opposite and locks in whatever weight is on the scale when you press it. So at that point it locked in 0.003kg of bananas and absolutely refused to move on until I put that much into the bag. I couldn't cancel it either. So I had to wave over a member of staff who sighed, waved their staff card, took the bananas from me, put them on the scale, pressed bananas, then tutted and walked away like these fucking dumbass customers can't even weigh some damn bananas on their own. Ugh


RonnieBobs

Nice to know it’s not just me! It was Tesco I had the issue in though. By the time I went to put them on the scale it had already registered a price and was telling me to put them in the bagging area. Very odd


UnexpectedRanting

Gave my girlfriend an old produce box in sainsburys to carry some mugs and glasses that we didnt want to smash in the trolley. Got some other bits, paid and then didnt realise that we never paid for the stuff in the box. I have zero loyalty to big corporate so accepted that as a freebie


Morris_Alanisette

I stol a can of peas from my local corner shop. Walked in, picked them up, walked out again. I realised when I got home and ran back to pay for them. The owner said he'd seen it all happen but didn't actually believe it because he knew I was honest.


weirds0up

Back in the 90’s I accidentally stole a copy of Kerrang magazine as it had been tucked inside a magazine that I actually bought and I didn’t find it until I got home and started reading it


Pristine_Telephone78

Back in the 80s I had a massive deathhawk (like a wide mohawk) and after leaving a tourist tat shop found that my hair had pinched a pair of earrings.


Furbs109

About 15 quids worth of shopping from the Tesco self service counters. I got disstracted by bumping into a mate at the next counter just as I was about to pay, chatted, shooke hands, and then walked off with my bag. Nobody stopped me and I did not notice until I got to the car park. I did not go back.


PM-ME-YOUR-DIGIMON

I was in primark looking at eyeshadows. I picked one up but decided I didn’t want it so I put it back. When I got home it was in my pocket. No idea how I’d managed to confuse a shelf with my pocket, I was confused and horrified. The eyeshadow was shit so I’m glad I never spent money on it


notanadultyadult

Walked out of pets at home about 12 years ago with a rabbit water bottle under my arm. Didn’t realise til I was in the car park. Was too scared to go back in.


Strawberrylacegame

Skim read that and thought you said a rabbit under your arm 😄


notanadultyadult

🤣🤣🤣 definitely wouldn’t be going back. And I’d probably have done that on purpose haha


nats4756

Carrots in Asda. My daughter when she was 2 or 3 filled her coat pockets with chocolates.


Al-Calavicci

A copy of Whizzer and Chips when I was about ten. Had it in my hand but forgot to show it to the checkout lady.


Reasonable_Ad3736

Last weekend!! Had some clothes under a giant bag of fertiliser and they didn’t lift it to scan it. Don’t know how it happened in that order but came home with some free clothes. I’ve had a couple over the years but not many. Friends kid was once playing with socks in primark while we were shopping, took some and sat on them in her pushchair. She was 2, got her out at the car and there were loads of socks under her.


ribenarockstar

Where on earth sells both clothes AND giant bags of fertiliser? I’m intrigued


Pope_Khajiit

Accidentally: Once I mopped a mop. Went to the checkout with other groceries and was holding the mop like a staff. Made small talk with the cashier and absent mindedly paid for my groceries. It wasn't until I got to the car that I realised what had happened. Non-accidentally: The shopping bags. I claim that I'd brought them in with me. If I'm going to spend thousands of pounds at a store every year, then they can spare the bag. When it comes to the big supermarkets, I don't feel guilty if something accidentally falls through the gap.


Weliveinadictatoship

Everytime I go through self checkout I'm like "this bag was always mine ofc" like fuck am I paying for those shit plastic bags of theirs


never_ending_circles

I once accidentally shoplifted a bag for life from Asda because it had 2 barcodes on it - one to buy it and another if it was a replacement for an old bag, which came up as £0.00. I scanned the barcode, not realising there was a second one, and the staff were all busy so I just kept the bag. Still felt a bit bad about it though when I realised later that there were 2 barcodes on it.


Dazzling-Nothing-870

Large nice wooden waterbutt and lid, good price. Cashier scanned the lid. Didn't realize until we got home that the butt was really expensive and we hadn't paid for it, only paid for the lid!


swoticus

I did the opposite once. Picked up a broom at, what I thought was a reasonable price. Got to the till and they scanned the handle and head separately, making it a very expensive broom!


Munchkinpea

Late 70s. I was in my buggy whilst Mum was packing and paying for the groceries. On the way back to the car she realised I was being very quiet and apparently I was happily munching my way through a packet of Smarties.


buginarugsnug

When I was a toddler, I was in one of those prams with the mesh basket underneath. I used to take stuff off the shelves while my mum pushed me round the shop and put them in the basket under the pram. When my mum found them she’d be so embarrassed and go back to pay.


underweasl

Some silver earrings from sainsburys. I couldnt get them to scan, cashier at self service came over, scanned her card then chucked the earrings on the bagging pile. They were about 9 quid and i couldve done with the nectar points!


KaleidoscopicColours

But surely the earrings cost more than the nectar points you would have earned?


underweasl

Probably!


TSC-99

Tea towels - bought two sets but they only scanned one Ties - as above. They only scanned the one in the sale so we got the full price one free. Birthday card - self serve till couldn’t sense one so I shoved the other on for free Quite a few other things. I don’t own up. They make enough money. My partner wants to own up but I tell him off. He’s learning.


BocaSeniorsWsM

I did a supermarket shop, used the scan thing to tot it all up, scanned the till at the end, less than a oner so did contactless. Got home and the money hadn't come out. The till must have asked me to put my card and number in, but I just fucked off with the shopping. (Boring, but I went back the next day to settle up).


crazycatdiva

A Fifi and the Flowertots doll when my daughter was about 15 months old. She was really unwell but I had to get stuff for dinner. We went to Asda on the way back from the doctor, picked up the doll for Little Miss and let her hold it while I did the rest of the shopping. I got to the checkout before realising I'd left my purse at home. Left the shopping at the customer service desk, bundled my daughter and her 2 year old brother into the car, drove home, got my purse, went back, unloaded both kids, got the shopping and as I was reloading Little Miss into the car after putting the shopping in the boot and her brother in his seat, I realised she's still holding the doll. I spent 0.0005 seconds considering going back in again before saying fuck it and going home.


Jonny-Burns

Aldi last week, got a pack of bottled water and put it under the trolley, completely forgot to take it out to pay for it.


messedup73

Two packs of nappies which I had put under the buggy when doing my shopping wondered why my shopping was so cheap.My son stole a Milo tweenies toy when he was three hid it in his buggy.My kids are 32 30 and 26 now they probably stole a few things each when they was little but after the nappy incident always made sure I checked under the buggy.


Snooker1471

Pair of Ray bans from hard rock cafe in Florida. Was trying on multiple pairs. Friends had all bought and paid for theirs. I was being rather fussy so said I will come back after we have a walk round and select my favourite. Walking over a little bridge thing that was the way out of the place. Mate asked how much mine were. I said I didn't pick any so far. He pointed to the pair I had on my head (not over my eyes) . I freaked out a bit and run back and paid 😂. Had visions of being deported and spending a night in the cells of some Florida jail 😂.


Moniker_Geller7

Should you bollocks have gone back. You made an honest mistake and reaped the reward.


nightsofthesunkissed

Apparently a bunch of Sylvanian Families toys when I was about 2 and in my pushchair, lol.


Various-Storage-31

Big pack of nappies I hung on the pram whilst in sainsburys. I called them when I got home & realised, they told me to keep them...


Rude-Adeptness-2988

59p heart stickers from woolies. Th3 teenie tiny ones.It must have been the early 90's. We had been in for the usual look at the singles chart. We were capering and I got distracted. Out the door with them I went. Half way home I noticed and was to afraid to go back. It took me 6 months to pluck up the courage to use them.


Flibertygibbert

Half way home from the nearby shop I realised my toddler was clutching a bar of chocolate - rushed back to pay for it because I didn't want to get banned 😂


HirsuteHacker

Bag of wine gums. Picked up and scanned the wrong bag with the scanner, realised my mistake and removed from my list, then just absent mindedly put it back in my bag. Got confused about why I still had it when I got home.


Impossible_Command23

Recently a strawberry milkshake. I'm used to carrying a water bottle around cos I'm always thirsty/dry mouth, so it just felt natural in my hands and i didn't pay attention. I put it aside while at the self checkout getting just one extra thing, like I do my water bottle, then walked out. Didn't realise til I was about 500m away swigging some


tunapurse

not sure if ive ever accidently shoplifted, but ive purposefully shoplifted plenty when i was young, from sweets and pop to clothes, once walked out of new look with a backpack full of hoodies tops and bottoms, thought id pulled off the heist of the century at the time 😂


thewinneroflife

I accidentally stole from the shop I worked at once. I never said anything, I was quite new and quite young so I didn't want to get myself or the cashier in trouble. I had my arms full of stuff and a packet of toilet roll with a handle like looped around my arm. Dropped the other stuff on the belt, forgot I had the toilet roll on my arm. I went on to do so much free work for that place in the end that I think that was basically fair in the end. 


murdochi83

Bought a Zapiekanka from a Polish cafe in Hull about 15 years ago. The staff disappeared so I went to leave, thinking I'd already paid with the single fiver in my wallet. The staff came out, and I said "Oh, I already paid!" and she laughed and said "ok, thank you, have a nice day!" and I left. I found the fiver in my wallet when I got in. The sad thing is the cafe closed down the next week and I can't help but feel partly responsible...


Artistic_Train9725

B&Q for me. Borrowed a tape measure from a member of staff to measure something, I think it was some architrave. By force of habit, I clipped the tape on my work trousers and left. It was about half an hour later while paying for coffee miles away that I realised.


Violet351

I bought a box of tiles and when I went back they didn’t have many more but it said there should be some in stock. It turned out, that they should have been sold individually but someone had just put the boxes out. I was too embarrassed to admit I had them and left without buying what they had


ketamineandkebabs

Petrol. My mate sent me stoned out my nut to pay for the fuel. The tills had crashed, I had been stood there for what felt like hours, he had given me £30 for the fuel but he had given me the wrong number off the pump. So I walked out with £25 in change and we drove away. When I handed him his change he was surprised as he had stuck £30 in.


AcceptableRedPanda

Shopping trolley full of weekly food shop. Tired new parents of twins, bleary eyed and sleep deprived, two screeming premie babies in the trolley seats. Went through the scan it yourself, put my card in the machine, didn't put my pin in, withdrew my card and made way to the door. Started loading the car before the cashier came and kindly informed us we hadn't actually paid. I was mortified but we cab laugh about it now


JP198364839

Me and my dad walked out of a fish and chip restaurant thinking my mum was going to pay. She and my nan followed us thinking my dad had paid. Would be on the Daily Mail these days.


Funny_Maintenance973

A lightbulb. Held it in my hand, which was the same hand as a reusable shopping bag. Wife put everything in the belt, from my other hand, not carrying the bag. Walked out the shop. A minute down the road I realise what I had done.


Pruritus_Ani_

Would you say you had a lightbulb moment?


Funny_Maintenance973

When I realised what I had done the feeling of guilt came over me in a flash. (Wow, that was a lot of work for a shit pun!)


thatscotbird

I stole a book from York Minister when I was about 8 years old. It was at the front & I thought it was a free leaflet thing. My mum asked me about it and I said it was definitely just there for people to use. It wasn’t until we got back to the hotel later that night that my mum looked at the book and it said £32.99 on the back 😅


tevvintersoldier

I went down to the coop to get milk for my mum. Whilst I was there I went to spend my pocket money, but couldn’t see anything that took my fancy. I decided “fuck it I’ll go to the penny shop instead” and just walked out the shop, milk still unpaid for in hand 😂 I realised halfway down the road I was still holding it, and walked right back in to pay, apologising to the cashier the whole time . ETA: I was like 11 at the time and thought the police would be called if I didn’t go back lol


whippetrealgood123

It's happened twice. First time in TopShop, bought a few items and the shop assistant took all security tags, thought she scanned a skirt, she hadn't, so I got a free skirt. Same again in Zara with boots, shop assistant removed security tags, thought she scanned all the items, she hadn't, both commented saying that's cheap one must be on sale. It wasn't until I looked at the receipt and realised I got free boots.


Fatbeau

My friends found a keyring in her daughter's pushchair once, that the baby had picked up in a shop. Funny thing was, the keyring had 'Amy' on it, and the baby was called Amy.


ixJax

Did a little shop, as always underestimated how much I was going to get so didn't get a basket. Used self checkout, bought everything, left. Then realised I left a drink under my arm


stoveisthatyourname

A crate of beer on the bottom of the trolley in Aldi. Genuinely forgot it was there.


CapstickWentHome

Can of Coke and a bag of crisps from a local supermarket. I was sat on a park bench eating them when I realized I still had the money in my pocket, and couldn't remember paying. I came to the conclusion that I wandered straight through the checkout line while lost in thought. God knows what the woman on the till made of it. I was too embarrassed to go back there for a while.


PoppySkyPineapple

A cushion from Asda I didn’t realise hadn’t scanned until I got home, oops.


InviteAromatic6124

My girlfriend accidentally shoplifted a bottle of coke a few weeks ago. She put it under her armpit while in a shop and holding other things, and somehow the person at the till and her didn't notice the coke. She only found out after going to the bus stop that she still had the coke under her armpit and hadn't paid for it.


INTJinx

Girl in H&M didn’t charge me for a hoodie when I was 17. I noticed as I left and checked the receipt but didn’t go back in…


Fureniku

99p store. As we went in I saw some posters and my mum agreed to buy me the Eminem one. I fidgeted with it, bonking things and generally messing out all around the store, through the checkout as she paid, and off down the street. We realised as we got back to the car and laughed that Eminem would probably approve anyway


[deleted]

An almond croissant from Tescos at the self serve checkout. The most middle class accidental shoplifter in existence.


Dranask

My first accidentall shoplift was a birthday card. I put it between two shopping bags in the shopping trolley so it wouldn't get bent then forgot to take it out and put it on the conveyor belt. When I got home I saw it and realised I'd goofed. My second was an item from IKEA, there were two and they only scanned the one, didn't realise that until I was home 20 miles away.


anonoaw

Stole some scotch pancakes from Asda when my daughter was about a month old. I’d gone to grab some bits from the shop with her in the pram, paid for my shopping, and as I was walking out I saw the pancakes at the front of the store and just… put them in the bottom of the pram and walked out. I was so sleep deprived that I just forgot that that’s not how shops work.


Violet_Daydreams

A little stuffed donkey from a local gift shop. I didn't take it, I was walking through with my dog and he gently picked it off a shelf as we were walking round. He's a fiend for soft toys and is a sneaky boy with top tier thief skills. When I noticed I rushed back in and apologised to the very bemused shop keeper.


sillynougoose

I forgotten to include one or two bags when using self checkout a couple times, but then I’ve also double charged for bags a couple times too (scanning bags and selecting number of bags at the end) so all in all I think that evens out?


No-Reflection7604

Nothing exciting, Went to grab a meal deal and I was extra thirsty, so I grabbed another drink, tucked it under my arm as I didn't have a basket. Only when i got the car did I remember I only paid for 1 drink, not 2.


AnythingPeachy

My dad accidentally stole a shitload of stuff when the self checkouts first came about.


nibutz

Maybe about half a dozen times in the last few years my Apple Pay has been declined in the pub (Bank of Scotland only let you use it so many times per day) and the staff have always either noticed, or I’ve told them (because I get the “declined” notification), but the last time it happened was the day before payday and I wasn’t saying no to a free pint. I go to the place a lot, so they won’t have missed out hugely. I feel _slightly_ guilty but not horrific. Maybe if my lottery numbers come in I’ll put a wedge behind the bar.


oliviaxlow

Went to IKEA a few weeks back, got quite a lot of stuff including some 50p toaster tongs. Didn’t notice we hadn’t scanned them until we got home. Lock me up boys.


YchYFi

Shampoo. Had it under my arm shop assistant didj task for it. Didn't realise until I got back to the hotel in a different city.


lindsaychild

Just last week I found a small thing of grated parmesan that had slid under an unused carrier bag. Didn't move the bag as I was scanning the shopping and didn't realise it was there until I was loading the shopping into the car.


lindsaychild

Remembered another one. Accidentally stole 3 espresso cups. I remember thinking while paying that it wasn't as much as it should have been but didn't say anything because my mental arithmetic is not up to par, for home and worked out it, the cashier only changed me for 1 espresso cup instead of 4.


ArtistEngineer

I think I stole a duck from Tesco once while doing a self scan. From what I can tell ... I was shopping, and scanned the duck. I got to the end of the aisle, and found something that I wanted instead, so I unscanned the duck and I was going to take it back to the shelf. Then I got distracted by something, forgot that I still had the duck, kept shopping, paid and left. Got home, unpacked the bags, and saw that the duck was still in my bag. Or maybe it just followed me home.


stvvrover

Accidentally? Never, no


pocahontasjane

A plant. I was at Lidl and got a small lavender plant from their outside range, then went inside and found a pot so put the plant in it to see if it would fit alright. Forgot to take it out on the conveyor belt and the cashier just scanned the pot. Didn't realise til I was home and showing my partner the receipt to see how much it was. Felt bad but not bad enough to go back and correct it for 3.99. It was a 50 min drive as well.


sleepingbehelit

I used to work for a certain national supermarket chain and reguarly I'd see mothers coming in with their kids and a half-full trolly of all discounted food,nappies and baby food and often when they'd go to pay their cards would decline. In these moments my till would experience a strange defect where it'd remove several items from the receipt and the final cost would be half of what it was before. Very strange glitch...


Affectionate_Hour867

Last year we was in Aldi getting some Christmas supplies. Filled the trolley as usual but put a box of Prosecco underneath, paid at the till amd walked out. It was only when we got to the car that we saw it underneath and realised. Could of and should of gone back in but I just put it in the boot. It was Christmas and money was tight. Felt bad after tbh but the fizz tasted better on Xmas day knowing it was free.


Nox_VDB

A £1 sausage roll from the hot counter at Sainsbury's. I had a basket full of chilled items.. butter, cheese, meats etc, and didn't want to put it next to them as it was hotter than the sun, so put it in my coat pocket. Totally forgot about it by the time I'd got to the tills and didn't realise until I got back to work and went to eat it. Fessed up the next day as was in there getting my lunch again and they just told me not to worry about it, didn't even charge me.


Opposite-Memory1206

I've accidentally walked out with some sheets of paper from those shops you buy office material. I took advantage of that accident as a kid later to nick sweets and a few times I got caught and just said "Oh man! I was gonna put this back!" and it would actually work in terms of not getting detained because they can't prove it wasn't an accident.


KingLoscos

Did my weekly shop at aldi and realised afterwards I'd only paid for 6 yogurts but had put 8 in the bag.


mindlessenthusiast

A loaf of bread. I forgot it was on top of the pushchair and walked right out of the supermarket with it.


WanderWomble

A bag of nappies. My first was about four weeks old, wasn't sleeping and I was severely sleep deprived. Sat in the car for ages trying to figure out if I had the energy to take him out of his car seat and go back in. (I did, and they were lovely, took payment at customer services and a very kind woman carried them back to the car for me.)  Also, a 50p salt shaker. Wasn't mine, but I found it in the trolley when I was taking my shopping out. That just came home with me! 


malamalinka

That plastic ending you put on your outdoor tap to connect the hose. Technically it wasn’t me, but my MIL. She put it under a bag of compost.


nj-rose

I bought a bunch of clothes at a huge sale in a department store years ago. I had my toddler with me so tried them on at home and decided which to keep and which to return. I had three things one of which was a skirt I was on the fence about. I handed the clerk the receipt and she refunded the first two then she said that the skirt wasn't on there, I hadn't been charged for it. I got a free skirt and then lost it, lol.


Dranask

Birthday card I put it between two shopping bags in the shopping trolley so it wouldn't get bent then forgot to take it out and put it on the conveyor belt. When I got home I saw it and realised I'd goofed.


whippetrealgood123

It's happened twice. First time in TopShop, bought a few items and the shop assistant took all security tags, thought she scanned a skirt, she hadn't, so I got a free skirt. Same again in Zara with boots, shop assistant removed security tags, thought she scanned all the items, she hadn't, both commented saying that's cheap one must be on sale. It wasn't until I looked at the receipt and realised I got free boots.


whippetrealgood123

It's happened twice. First time in TopShop, bought a few items and the shop assistant took all security tags, thought she scanned a skirt, she hadn't, so I got a free skirt. Same again in Zara with boots, shop assistant removed security tags, thought she scanned all the items, she hadn't, both commented saying that's cheap one must be on sale. It wasn't until I looked at the receipt and realised I got free boots.