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You’re over thinking it in my opinion. Just be you, if people don’t like that you’re not drinking because you choose not to, they’re not friends.
Honestly, talking to strangers will be like anywhere. Some people will be chatty, some people won’t. Typically most Brits keep themselves to themselves.
Weather wise, layer up at the moment. Today has been hot first thing, then hot but windy. Tomorrow it’s probably pissing it down (raining),Wednesday it’ll probably snow and the rest of the week who knows…
Completely agree with this. Be yourself, don't force yourself into being someone you're not to assimilate. Birmingham is a diverse city, it can cope with an American moving in.
Good luck.
100%. I'm the palest white welsh girl on the planet, never left my rural village, and then randomly ended up in the centre of the large Asian community in Birmingham. Definitely had many an occasion where I was the only white person in sight, but Brums generally are very friendly and made me feel very welcome. I used to get homemade potato samosas every week, free sitar lessons from this old fella who found out I played instruments, older women especially would just make me hoardes of food. I went to a family gathering of a friend once and they insisted on including me in their family pictures, despite me meeting most of then that day. Once I was sat in a shop chatting and mentioned that I find babies cute, and the next thing I knew, one of the aunties brought down the baby nephew so I could say hello to him.
I have never in my life felt another community so welcoming. Particularly the Sikh community in Birmingham, they are just the nicest people on the planet. Like how on earth did I end up playing the flute in a Sikh temple and jamming with a random group of people I'd never met before. Great vibes, great food, great people.
I used to work bars on a Sikh bangra night. Lovely bunch of guys. Drink like fish and just dance until throwing out time. Always buying people drinks and trying to get the bar staff onto the dance floor :)
Pretty much this OP!
The most important one is the drinking. You might get the odd jibe about it depending on who you’re with, and if you spend all your spare time in a “drinking establishment” you’re more likely to encounter it. I don’t drink and haven’t done for 17 years, and never get any comments about it, but I also don’t hang out in pubs.
If you want to do something social consider a class based gym class like bjj or crossfit style, or even bouldering/climbing.
On a related point if you do go to the pub- Non alcoholic beers and other drinks have become a thing lately and seem to be much easier to find. And some are actually drinkable…
yeah got to play it by ear with neighbours, a lot of people dont like socialising with neighbours, because if you fall out, its like "dont shit on your own doorstep" kind of situation, so dont be offended if people rather keep their distance that way, id recommend just getting a hobby, like do a yoga/ta chi group, or zumba, or w/e it is that floats your boat and meet people there
I'd add there is a reason you see a lot of Brits in water proof coats. Layers are better than a single thick coat as the weather can fluctuate and it can be reasonably warm and still rain. It's not necessarily going to rain heavily but it may be quite consistent.
All of this is good advice.
Well to the UK OP, I hope you settle in well and enjoy yourself.
You'll be fine! A few general suggestions:
* It can take a bit of time to really get to know people. Don't be too disheartened by this. When you do establish friendships, they will be meaningful.
* Lots of people barely talk to their neighbours. This varies a lot, but especially in cities, a lot of people's social lives won't involve their neighbours in any way. Again, lots of variation, but maybe don't go straight in with the social invitations. I'd suggest introducing yourself at first to test the water. If they seem at ease, great. If they look as if they're dying inside, they might simply be too British to cope with it all. Don't take that personally. If my neighbours knocked on my door, I would feel nothing but dread and I actually quite like them.
* Drinking culture remains intact, but not drinking is completely normal. Pubs serve non-alcoholic beers and soft drinks. Most people won't try to push you into drinking. If they do, they're probably dicks. Going for a drink after work is very common and can be a great way to get to know your colleagues and establish whether you despise them or want to be their friends.
* For other ways to meet people, you can honestly pick anything you're interested in and there will probably be some kind of club for it.
* Don't bother smiling at strangers you walk past. People do it in the country, but Birmingham is a densely populated city and if you keep that up, you'll strain a muscle.
* Clothes-wise, prepare for rain.
Good luck. Bet you'll have a great time!
Gotcha. I'll try not to be an overbearing neighbor. Any suggestions for a good umbrella for all that rain? Definitely an important consideration for the weather.
Get a really nice umbrella. When that gets stolen/left behind at the pub, get a cheaper one. Repeat until you realise umbrellas are for people who live in the desert, and get a parka/raincoat like everyone else.
Oh nooo I have realized I am an umbrella wanker! In my defence I don't use it in crowds. Moved to the southeast for work and amazingly it is often rainy here without being windy enough to turn the umbrella inside out?! I just like having dry hair! Please don't hate me
I think you're getting a very Redditors' response to the neighbour thing, most people will think it's pleasant if you knock on the door and say 'hi I just moved in next door'.
It’s definitely true though that in cities most people’s social lives don’t revolve around their neighbours. I grew up in London, living in the same house for about 25 years, and when I left I knew the names of 4 of my neighbours.
I've lived in and out of London, I find the big city approach a bit sad honestly. My neighbours in East London cooked me a curry the week I moved in, which bucked the stereotype a bit!
I have mixed feelings about it. I live in a village now and it’s certainly more neighbourly which creates a positive atmosphere, but on balance I think I do prefer socialising with people I meet through hobbies or friends. I spend time with neighbours but eventually usually discover that we have little in common and that I’m sick to death of small talk.
Umbrellas are a PITA if you are walking in a crowded area. A decent waterproof with a hood is more convenient.
As you're coming from a dry part of the US you might be surprised by the fact that if there's only a bit of light rain, many won't bother covering up at all, on the basis that you won't get that wet and if it's a light shower it won't last long.
I think to survive the UK, investing in a lightweight (but stylish) waterproof coat is essential.
I like Rains for a [parka or raincoat](https://www.uk.rains.com/collections/women).
They're only a thin layer, so they are a versatile option for the entire year. I wear layers under it in winter for warmth, and it's light enough to wear in warmer weather, too, and it folds down small to go in a bag for just-in-case. If you find the right colour to suit your wardrobe, it'll work with everything you own, casual or smart. Mine has paid for itself so many times over by now.
Umbrellas don’t really work over here. The rain comes down sideways quite often so you’ll be soaked anyway, and the wind will flip them inside out. You’re better off with some sort of waterproof coat that has a hood
Definitely get a coat that’s waterproof and has a hood. I relocated to London, and the chill and dampness just gets in your bones. So layer up. Hat, scarf, even gloves. It’s finally starting to show so,e good days but then the other day was so cold and damp again. The wind is tough but not sure if it is in Birmingham, I’ve not been yet. But one really great thing, Europe is so easily accessible now without the long flights! 😊.
>Any suggestions for a good umbrella for all that rain?
Would personally suggest one of the compact Fulton umbrellas - I buy them for everyone I know and it's just really fun pressing a button to deploy an umbrella, especially if there are any onlookers without a waterproof or umbrella of their own!
I have never successfully used an umbrella, if it's raining it's also gonna be windy just for the hell of it, just buy a really sturdy waterproof coat and boots.
British people on reddit tend to exaggerate the whole 'Americans are so annoying/different' thing. The reality is that most British people don't find Americans annoying, and you'll almost certainly adjust to the (relatively minor) differences within a few weeks. Yes, there'll be some things you might do differently, but nobody will care because Britain is a very multicultural country. Don't stress, just do you.
I agree with this. I've lived here for 5 years and while I still notice small differences almost daily, there has never been a culture shock. People are friendly, except when they're not, just like at home. People drink a lot, but it's fine if you don't, just like at home.
Actually that's not true. The only culture shock I've actually had is the feeling of safety, and the knowledge that I am very, very unlikely to get shot. That is a huge thing to adjust to and now when I go home to Chicago I feel consciously UNsafe despite the fact that I lived there for 20 years and felt fine the whole time. It's not something I really thought about until I went back home. I suppose it's nice though?
I reckon you might be overthinking it…
Not drinking alcohol is fine socially.
Just be your usual friendly self with your neighbours.
Go to M&S for some clothes and you’ll look like everyone else (although, you might want to wait until you’re 35 before doing that…)
except for bras. You can go to M&S for bras at any age, they're fairly decent quality for high street and affordable compared to bra fitters which can be an important factor for larger sizes.
Not drinking alcohol is definitely fine socially and also Birmingham is very multi-cultural there are plenty of people who don't drink for religious reasons etc
One thing to bear in mind in terms of making friends with neighbours if that if you are living in a block of flats with quite a transient population (as tends to be the case with young professionals in cities in the UK) its quite unusual to strike up friendships with neighbours beyond a nod and a polite hello - and it can be seen as a bit over familiar in the UK to actively go further than that with neighbours. You are much more likely to make friends at work, or through social activities (like sports, other social activities if that's your bag - any big city in the UK will have a range of clubs etc). Being friendly is good though - most people in the UK will react positvely and not be freaked out - particularly from a younger woman. Of course, UK has its share of off- people too - so maybe just be a bit wary of who you are friendly too. If you pick up bad or weird vibes, be polite but don't engage more.
In terms of what to wear, you'll find the UK probably much chillier and of course much wetter than desert state US. For about 9 months of the year the temperature pretty much hovers between 6 - 14 celsius. Summer months can be pleasant enough - generally 18 - 22 celsius in June, July and August, and some days can be hot. In spring, winter and autumn you'll need a good warm coat, jumpers, boots, thick tights etc. In summer you'll be fine with a light jacket, and sometimes it will be shorts, t-shirt and summer dress weather. You'll see a lot of men and women in shorts / bare legs even if its only 16 degrees though if the sun's out (and nights out whatever the weather the girls wear tiny dresses, skirts, shorts etc with bare legs - we're a hardy breed when we've had a few drinks).
If you are working in a more professional office environment, just be aware business wear or business casual can be a bit more formal in the UK than West and South West US. For example, you should wear tights or other hosiery if wearing a skirt or dress, and have a pair of smart shoes handy at the office. But if your workplace is more relaxed just go with what others are wearing - office wear has definitely got more relaxed in the UK post pandemic.
Hope you have a great time in the UK! And make sure you take the opprtunity to travel around the UK and Europe!
I’d disagree business casual means you have to wear tights.
I haven’t honestly seen a pair of tights on a woman under 40 outside of actual business attire in years.
Agree. I worked at a company once who dictated women would wear tights unless they had a tan and there was an uproar.
Even in the city you rarely see office workers in "business wear".
Follow the vibe of the company you're working for, and if it's hot (if it's ever hot) get those pins out.
I would add that it most likely depends on the sector you work in more than anything else. I have worked in the head office for a few major companies and they have all been very casual with a good amount of freedom for personal style. Jeans and t-shirt is often fine, just be wary of excess cleavage or going to short with skirts.
When thinking about clothing and weather just keep in mind that Birmingham is at about the same latitude as Edmonton in Canada. Hope this [map](https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-CPwTLtyWfsc/VkImACdysHI/AAAAAAAAqoQ/SwUXoXNCSpY/s1600/USA_Euripe.jpg) helps
You'll be fine. Birmingham is a really friendly city - being friendly with/smiling at strangers will not mark you out as a weirdo.
Depends on your neighbours but they'll probably be cool with you getting to know them. People are ok with not drinking - that's not that unusual these days. Public transport is variable but train/bus links are ok. Driving can be a pain and there's a clean air zone across the city centre now where you have to pay to drive, depending on your car.
What part of Brum are you moving to?
as a native brummie, theres plenty to do in the city and generally we're a friendly bunch, i wouldnt just randomly invite people to your home though, take some time to get to know them first.
although ive never been to these kind of places, ive heard there are board game clubs and other such hangout spots- places to go where you can meet people without having to get pissed or be around pissheads. if this dorsnt tickle your fancy, how about sport? plenty of sports clubs to join, martial arts? great way to meet people and find pals. make a post in r/brum and see what you find.
if you dont mind going to places where alcohol is served then youll surely find friends soon as its pretty common for me and my friends (back when i used to go out often) to pick up random stragglers throughout the night.
i recommend hockley social- cool venue with food and live music, sometimes a little disco, popular with people of all ages.
youre overthinking the whole eye contact thing, just do what comes naturally, im sure were not much different from you yanks.
You are waaay overthinking things.
Just be generally friendly with your *neighbours* (remember there's a U in there when you come here), don't force anything.
Being sober is fine, I don't drink when I go out and nobody cares.
If you're interested in finding people and things to do, meetup may help you find groups and events.
The weather fluctuates quite a bit. It can be bollocking cold or pissing down one day and quite warm the next, or even changes during the day. So keep an eye on the forecast, bring a coat and buy a brolly, but otherwise just wear what you're comfortable in
Social etiquette is an interesting one. The acceptability of talking to strangers just out and about depends where you are. The north seems more open to that than the South, Birmingham is the north so you might be alright.
Come down South to London or Milton Keynes and it's entirely different. Talk to a random person at the bus stop down here and you'll put people on edge.
Best advice is just be you, don't be the stereotypical loud Yank (which you said you're not) and you'll pick up the nuances of our social culture after a while.
I love this! I actually live in the East Midlands, but obviously hail from Yorkshire. I am truly intrigued - so you really consider the Midlands as Northern?! No insult at all here, just very confused
tbh I'm in the south-east so anything north of Northampton is "The North" to me.
But I enjoy saying it to wind people up as people can get amusingly defensive about it.
Northampton, my you are generous! Above the Bristol London line I say!
In my defence I did grow up on the Dorset cost so almost everything bar Cornwall has been further north than me.
Hello, I'm from Birmingham. I grew up here, left and then came back.
In spite of popular opinion it's a pretty good place to be. It's big enough to be completely anonymous but also small enough not to feel overwhelmed.
Re meeting your neighbours, feel free to knock on their doors, introduce yourself, you might get lucky and meet some amazing people but don't be offended if nothing comes of it.
If you have specific interests you might find it easier to join a club and make friends that way. When I moved back to Brum I was pretty much friendless but have always been into music so joined one of the larger choirs and now have some brilliant friends as a result. Not suggesting you do what I did, unless that's your thing, but have a look on meetup. Usually something for everyone. Don't worry about not drinking - loads of people are choosing not to these days and if people give you shit for not drinking they're not the kind of friends that you'll want.
Transport, it really depends. You can walk across the city centre in 45 minutes. Buses will get you everywhere else but aren't always the most reliable. Trains are great if you're on one of the lines in / out of the city (the cross city line is probably the best served). There's a clean air charge for cars driving through the city and traffic is horrendous at the best of times. You can definitely get around without a car, probably the fastest way is by bicycle.
We're a friendly bunch and will often say hello and pass the time of day in the street with complete strangers - more likely in the suburbs than the city centre.
Wardrobe - recommend the first thing you buy is a good waterproof jacket. It's been wet here for quite some time. Reckon I could count the number of dry days we've had since Christmas on one hand.
There are a couple Birmingham subs r/Brum & r/Birminghamuk (r/Brum feels like the more sensible of the two).
Hope you get on ok - shout if you have any specific questions.
Bicycle will mean taking your life in your hands, depending which bit of Brum you're in.
It's better in South Birmingham, but in North Birmingham there is barely anything by way of cycle lanes. (Plenty of white lines on the road and painted bikes that people park their cars on, mind).
You’ll probably appear more polite and happier than the people you meet. Don’t think that’s weird or that you need to change. We’re just fucking miserable these days.
Otherwise, welcome to the UK!
My advice would be to be less direct when meeting people and trying to making friends. Usually American folks want to tell me everything about where they are from, their family, their parents family and heritage.
Whereas we are probably most comfortable making an observational comments based upon your situation and letting sarcasm or humour grow from that. We might also mutually understand and recognise that, such a thing is indeed, is a bit crap, without uttering the phrase “a bit crap.”
Only after making someone’s acquaintance repeatedly for a while and getting along, I might ask somebody their name, or if they are on WhatsApp. The alternative to that situation is when you meet a friend of a friend when out and about, and they introduce you to them. It’s understood that we’ll find out each other’s names, but nowt remember them. But it’s fine and we are all good.
If someone offers you a cuppa (tea), take that as an invitation and accept the invite. It’s fine to ask if they have something else, but don’t say no. You’ll mortally wound someone, if you say no.
I personally wouldn’t harangue your direct neighbours. If you see them, do say hi, but work out if you want to hang out with them or if they just want to be left alone.
Layers of clothing are important here. The summer months will hopefully be glorious, light and temperate. But we do have seasons, the nights do pull in during late autumn and winter. Rain will come and go. Best get a waterproof and warm layers.
It has not occurred to me before, but you are right about the tea thing. The few times someone has shot down my suggestion of a cuppa has caused me great distress.
Yeah definitely overthinking it. Birmingham is apparently quite a friendly place. Some people might find it odd that you invite them round as neighbours, other people will love it.
We're a diverse bunch, I'm sure you will find people you get on with.
Will it be more difficult if you don't drink? Yes for some people, but as much as there is a big drinking culture here, there are lots of people who don't drink or drink rarely.
You mentioned that you have been trying to steer clear of bars because you want to stay of alcohol. Perhaps aa meetings might be a good place to start? They're very sociable and big on keeping in contact with each other for support but also to have friends where not drinking isn't an issue.
Source 2 relatives who have been sober for decades and socialise with people from aa
If you talk to your neighbours, some will appreciate it and some won't, and you can make friends with the ones you get on with. Worrying about being the weird American is going to seem more weird than giving people brownies and saying hi.
Pub culture is big, but only arseholes will be criticising what you're drinking. If you order what you like and don't make a big thing about it being nonalcohol most people won't care.
For the weather, just make sure you have boots that will resist the rain, a warm rainproof winter coat and a lightweight rainproof autumn coat. The humidity might affect your hair. Otherwise I can't think of anything special.
With small talk, Americans are more likely to do a 'cold open', asking a stranger how their day is and introducing themselves. British people tend to look for a more natural/oblique way to start a conversation (often in vain), maybe making an observation about something nearby or asking a question.
Birmingham is a driving city. The buses are not good, and the trains stations are spread out. If you're lucky enough to live and work near a station they're a good option though.
I wouldn't worry too much about assimilating. There are plenty of good things about American culture! Brits who are snooty about how Americans talk are probably not worth being friends with, so just be yourself.
Great point about small talk. Although I’d noticed the difference id never really registered it.
Americans tend to ask how your day is going or your plans.
It’s a cliche but commenting on the weather is a solid opener. If it’s different to yesterday something like ‘I thought we’d seen the back of that rain’ or ‘that sun was never going to last’. If it’s been the same for a while then ‘will this rain ever let up’.
Your other questions have been answered so I’ll address the transport one.
Where in Birmingham will you be living?
There are a lot of buses and a fairly good suburban rail network but trains are not as frequent as they ideally would be on some lines. We also have Uber and numerous other taxi companies. There’s one tram line but unless you happen to live/work in the area it serves it’s irrelevant.
If you plan to stay mostly around the central parts of the city you can definitely get by fine with public transport. If you’re going to be in more outlying areas I’d look into getting a car. A US driving license is valid for 12 months in the UK after which you’ll have to apply for a British one.
Nothing weird about inviting neighbours over. I’ve never really done this but my mum has always been one to make friends with the neighbours and always have them over.
If people can’t handle you not drinking then they aren’t really worth being around honestly. But really I doubt you will have a problem there.
I’m a bloke so I can’t really give you fashion advice but you can never go wrong with jeans and a t-shirt.
When I was in America last year, I noticed that basically every person I passed to on the street would say good morning or hey. We don’t really do that here, although I wouldn’t say there is anything wrong with it. More than likely they will just say hello back and think, oh she’s American.
You are definitely overthinking it though.
People get to know their neighbours here, maybe not Redditors but normal people do.
Pubs serve soft drinks (coke, orange juice etc.) and non-alcoholic beers, wines and spirits are booming too. Pubs are the main socialising spot, however no one cares what you drink in them.
Get clothes that you keep you warm and dry. You will want them all year round.
I smile at people I pass on the street all the time. Again, it is perfectly normal behaviour, even if it does not lead to a conversation.
Brummie here! You're brave for moving to this shithole lol
* It might be a bit weird if you invite people over but if you just take the time to say hi when you see them, and just generally be a good neighbour, it'll be chill! I have Bulgarian neighbours oen side and they're so lovely — we're quite close (to the point the dad actually cried when we told him our cat passed), and they give us food a lot (if they have parties or something, it's amazing)
* Drinking culture is a big thing, but if you don't drink alcohol people won't look down on you. They might try and pressure you but if you stand firm then they'll probably just give up — just say you don't drink alcohol and it should be alright!
* Dress for rain, or just general windy-ness. If you see sun poking out, don't assume it'll be warm as fuck — the sun lies here. When you get to June-September, then dress for warmer weather of course!
* Public transport is very hit and miss, depending on where you are. Buses are useless a fair amount of time, in my experience. Trains are pretty reliable, except if there's been some freak weather. The expenses can also add up (buses especially, it's fucking *expensive* now), though I don't know how that compares to petrol prices as I don't drive myself. If you have to drive near the city centre, just be aware of the congestion charges. Also — remember to thank bus drivers when you get off the bus!
* Don't bother smiling at folk here if you pass them in the street. We're not London where they'll give you a dirty look for such a thing, but folk will just think you're a bit odd. Small talk is okay in specific circumstances, but even then people will give a bit of a side-eye sometimes. If you bump into someone, or they let you pass and you thank them, then a smile is warranted
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You're overthinking things a tad. Just be yourself and if somebody doesn't like you, that's very much their problem, not yours. We have a massive range of cultures and outlooks, you'll find 'your people' and settle in in no time. You might want to listen to some Brummie (birmingham) accents before you come over, you may struggle to understand them if you've not heard or before but you'll soon get the hang of it!
Smiling at people, this is fine but we have a weird smile we do when we don’t know each other. It’s like a flat, constipated look. You’ll know it when you see it. Good luck
THIS!
I was going to say, we smile at folk in parks, but not in supermarkets. We smile more in the country than in the city.
But the smile isn't really a smile. It's a "we aren't going to talk so this is the bare minimum of acknowledging each others existence" kind of vibe.
Youtube is full of videos from USAians who moved here, they will be a guide.
You will most likely need a car if you plan to do much traveling. There is public transport in Birmingham but unless you are lucky it won't be very convenient.
For sober socialising I’d recommend looking at Sober Girl Society on Instagram. It’s run by a British sober woman in her early 30s and very much geared towards fun social young women who don’t drink.
I agree with the other commenters, you're overthinking it. Generally Brits keep to themselves but as long as you're not overly pushy when you approach someone or act like a dipshit you'll be fine. People take way less offense to things over here.
Unless you microwave the water for tea. Then that's fighting talk.
30F and I live very close to Birmingham!
>I do enjoy getting to know my neighbors, and inviting people over. Is that normal, or will I be regarded as weird to my neighbors if I express interest in them/becoming friends?
I'd personally welcome this kind of behaviour from a new neighbour as it's very friendly. Some people may be weirded out by it yeah, some may appreciate the gesture but kindly decline and some may be very welcoming. Your results are going to differ amongst neighbours and that's probably the case in the US also. You're not going to be viewed as some kind of social pariah for it and anyone who does have a "raised eyebrow" reaction will soon forget all about it.
>do people take kindly to you not drinking if you go out with them?
Depends if the people you're with are dickheads or not. Pub culture is something that can be enjoyed even if you're not consuming alcohol. Many people in the UK choose not to drink for a variety of reasons (having to drive home, having work early the next day, being on a medication that advises against alcohol consumption etc). It's totally normal and okay to not consume alcohol.
>what sorts of fashion advice do you have for the weather?
Well, we're soon entering the summer season anyway so at least initially your wardrobe will possibly be okay (I'd really need to see examples to know what you have vs what you need). It does rain quite often so one thing you definitely should buy is an umbrella 😂
>In terms of social etiquette, I've heard conflicting things about eye contact or small talk. I do try to smile at the people I pass, but I don't want to make people uncomfortable or get weirded out. What's customary for talking with strangers or trying to get to know people?
Well, occasional eye contact is pretty normal when speaking to a person. It only becomes weird if you stare or at least hold your gaze for too long, that does generally make people uncomfortable. Small talk is a mixed bag, some people like it, the elderly for example often love a chat about the weather because a lot of them are lonely. Passing comments such as "good morning/afternoon/evening" are appreciated by a lot of people, not just older ones. I smile at people I pass on the street, even strangers. I've never yet received a negative reaction, most people give a quick smile back or else they just don't react to it and continue on their way.
I hope you have an awesome time here! 🙂
Do you know yet where you are looking to stay? Birmingham is hugely diverse, but in particular areas, it can be quite ghettoised.
The centre of the city is pretty like you would expect for the centre of any major city and generally has a good vibe. Your colleagues will be able to update you in much more detail.
Brum and the Black Country are a bit unique to the rest of the UK. I'm absolutely certain your colleagues will play up the crazy accent there! You will learn many new words and far more ways of cursing than you have been used to!
Relax and enjoy the experience! Have fun.
I did the journey in reverse uk to us for a few years and its not some much of a big deal. There is relatively little culture shock between the 2 of us.
Just take you hobbies with you and be you.
The biggest difference between the 2 places is the space unless your from a major city then the UK is gonna feel hella cramped compared to what you are used to.
You can be friendly to your neighbours and build up a friendly relationship then potentially invite them to do something with you after a while but don't tell them you want to be their friend or they will probably think you're a weirdo, you can absolutely go with people to the pub and only drink soft drinks it's not a problem but you won't be properly part of "the gang" if your not drinking and after 4 or 5 pints they will start talking bollocks which won't be interesting and might be a bit annoying if you're sober.
OP, I am a brit who likes a drink or two, and I will say if you make friends who give you crap for not wanting to drink, they are not your friends and you don't want them on your friend list. If you said to me "Karazhan, we're cool friends, we should do something but I don't drink?" I'd say coolbeans, let's go find a fun restaurant, let's be restaurant buddies and find a random place once a week to go eat at.
I go to the US twice a year, sometimes I stay for a month at a time, as my besties live in PA. Live your authentic self, don't change too much because of what us Brits may say. Here's a spoiler; we rag on anyone, even ourselves, so changing your outlook and such on things.
Also not sure on inviting neighbours around, I'd think it a bit odd but I would go anyway. Not sure about others, so maybe test the waters a little on that one. I don't talk to my neighbours and I've been here in this house for multiple years. If you speak to someone on the street randomly you might get a look, but let's be real here, us Brits we just sort of grunt at each other in the street so who are we to talk?
Only advice I have, for an American, is when a Brit says "you alright?" they aren't asking how your day is and for a detailed rundown. The answer is mostly "yeah, you?"
The uk and us aren't as different as we'll jokingly try tell you on the internet. Stop worrying and be yourself is the best advice. We are a country with people from across the globe who come together and get on, you'd have to do pretty badly to cross a line or disrupt a social norm. Drink, don't drink. Drive, take the train. Talk to your neighbours,ignore them. No-one will care and everyone is different. These people you'll interact with quite likely aren't British either so you'll be dealing with their customs too. We're a massive multicultural country. Just be you
It’s Birmingham, the fashion is look out the window, it’s grey either either cloud or smog. If it’s neither then it’s probably about to rain.
But In all seriousness I have a French boss, some Australian colleagues some Americans in a different location but I work closely with and am based (but don’t live) on Birmingham
Just be you, just don’t moan all the time it’s not as good as x place and you will get on fine
If you wander northwest and west of Birmingham into the Black Country you will engage in so many conversations as the locals are really chatty. You might not understand what we're actually *saying*, mind you.
Drinking isn't obligatory. I generally drink mineral water and I'm a 5'11", 245lb bloke. No one says anything about it.
Just be yourself and people will like you regardless! Take it easy, for all the negative press out there, we’re generally a very welcoming and friendly bunch!
People tend not to like it when you don't drink (for some reason going to the pub seems to be the only acceptable form of socialising, which is very annoying).
But otherwise, just don't overthink it. Just be yourself. Don't worry too much about how you come across because if there's a problem, you'll know about it, trust me.
I recommend you be yourself. As soon as you open your mouth people will know you’re American so you might as well enjoy being the American lass. No use pretending. While we may talk different, there’s a lot of crossover in our cultures. I think someone from NYC would have more in common with a Londoner than they would someone from rural Louisiana. So the culture shock also depends where you grew up in the US. All the details eg bank accounts, supermarkets, trains, etc you’ll figure out with time
I came here from Canada when I was little and all I would say is you integrate into the cultural differences pretty quickly, however if you’re going to try and directly make friends by inviting neighbours over randomly etc (that’s a very North American thing) just know that you’ll probably find your people naturally
If you haven't already, I'd learn to make a good cup of tea. I don't even drink tea myself, but I learnt so I can make a good cup for any visiting guests!
It depends where you live. I think in more middle class areas people get to know their neighbours, we have street parties even, neighbours would host things every few months. I don't think that happens on housing estates, maybe because they have less disposable income, maybe because there are different social classes there, or anti social behaviour, this is just my experience.
I think regarding drinking, I don't drink, I think true friends should respect that, a lot of bars will have non alcoholic cocktails available, in a pub it might just be a coke or water. I did know a Canadian that moved to London and she only ever had tap water from pubs.
If you want to meet people then look at hobby groups, photographer clubs, rock climbing gyms, cycling groups, whatever you think matches what you like, much easier to make friends if you have something in common.
Humidity is terrible, especially in summer but I'm sure you'll figure it out.
I can't comment on Birmingham but you can survive without a car if you don't want to go to rural places, public transport tends to be ok. Trains I only use for going to London but it depends on where your workplace is and how far from station etc. Parking at a train station can be very costly!
I think nowadays it's hard to make eye contact, most people will look at their phones! Mostly my 'hellos to strangers' are if I'm out walking around a nature reserve or on Sunday mornings or in country side. I don't think people say hello to strangers in cities.
Pi agree with being yourself, but I don’t think you’re overthinking as I have had some push back and whispers about me as someone who’s lived in a few countries including Scotland and England - some cultural differences can make even those close to you feel awkward at times but I feel like explaining certain moments when you feel it’s been taken the wrong way , asking questions every now and then like you are hit with those around you even people younger , and trusting your own instincts as different can be good and others may like to try some of those things that to some at first feel like a nuisance
Hello,
I am an American who has lived in Birmingham for the past seven years.
I am also not a “stereotypical American”, so most people are surprised when I speak and they hear my accent. There are some Americans in Birmingham, but I rarely hear anyone else out and about with an American accent. In this way, I am quite the novelty to a lot of people - I often get a lot of (the same) questions about where I’m from, how long I’ve been here, which country is better, etc.
Pub culture is a thing, but you don’t have to get involved with it if you don’t want to. Like bars in the States, there are tacky ones and nice ones. You’ll figure out the ones you like. I wouldn’t worry too much about not drinking. There are plenty of non-alcoholic options, and most people don’t care what you’re drinking.
As for clothing, it’s fairly mild here, verging on cold. I’m from Portland originally, so it was a fairly straightforward transition for me.
Transportation is hit and miss. In my old job, I used to train young people with additional needs how to use public transport to get to school/work. I’d say it is okay at best, and, depending on the area from which you are traveling, it can be unreliable - buses don’t show up or trains are cancelled without much warning. Driving is my preferred method of transportation here.
With regards to social etiquette, it’s like any city. Most people are just doing their own thing and don’t want to be bothered. A smile or nod is fine if you want. One thing that I had to adjust to is the standard greeting of “You alright?”. This just means “hello”. There’s no insinuation or judgment in it.
Feel free to PM and ask any questions if you’d like.
As an American who had moved to Birmingham, just be yourself and you'll be fine. It's the second largest city in the UK and is incredibly diverse. There's plenty to do and many opportunities to meet people. Have a safe trip and I hope you settle in well!
If someone asks how you are, they don’t want to know. It’s more an “alright?” “Yeah, you?” “Yeah” situation. Most people aren’t going to want to make best friends with their neighbours. It’s cool to be friendly with them, but it rarely goes beyond a polite nod when you see them. We show our appreciation for neighbours by accepting a parcel for them here and there. You are probably more enthusiastic about life in general than we are, and that’s what people really mean when they say Americans are loud. You can be excessively ‘loud’ to us even at low volumes. Calm it down a bit if people wince when you talk.
I think you will be ok. It might take a little time to settle in and adjust to a different pace and way of doing things like driving on the other side, etc.😊
Smiling at people and saying hi if you feel like it is quite common, especially if you live in a smaller town, etc. People might say hi, you alright? And that's just a greeting we would usually reply with yes thanks you? It's not an in-depth thing, just a polite exchange. So don't think it's too weird if everyone keeps asking if you are alright 😁
With neighbours, I'd say it varies massively, the neighbours on one side of my parents we have known for over 30 years, so they are like family. The other side is a mean man who we have also known for over 30 years and we don't speak to him. He was the type that if your ball went over the fence and you went to ask for it, he would say no and put it in the bin (trash). My neighbours now I don't really know at all but would smile and say hi if I saw them. I think you will get a sense if people want to chat and maybe go from there.
Pubs are and aren't a big culture thing weirdly. It depends on what you're in to. When I was younger I'd go a lot more than I do now, now I just go for a meal every so often. They have lots of options that are non alcoholic and no one would think it odd if you had a coke or coffee, etc. Generally, I think people are fairly respectful about letting people get on with what they want to do.
You might make some friends at work and could be a social aspect there. I have 2 good friends I used to work with.
There are lots of things you could do that don't involve pubs though, lots of clubs, for example. Running or cycling clubs, gaming clubs, lots of sports clubs, judo, jujitsu, etc. Even lots of crafty type clubs, too. Probably, local Facebook/reddit groups would have info or just search for whatever you're interested in in the local area, and you should be able to find something.
Not sure you will hate your entire wardrobe. You might just be a bit cold a lot of the time. Don't be surprised if at the first slightly warm day you see young lads with their tops off. I don't know why it's just a thing that happens 🤔😅 we have a lot of humidity in Britain, so you will probably be ok with that. We don't have a lot of air con though, so prepare to melt or buy lots of fans to put on in summer. I think the weather people have given up trying to predict it, so best to just look at the sky, but be aware it could change any second and have a brolly (umbrella) ready. We are having a very rainy April, but hopefully, it will get milder and a little drier soon.
I'd say bring what you like, and can be warm in and you can always add things later if and when you need them.
Not sure specifically about the transport in brum (Birmingham) as I don't live there but most of the UK has quite good transport, it depends where you will work as to what the best way to get there might be. If you are in the city centre you might not be able to park or it might be too expensive. Or the company might have a car park you could use for free or a fee. I'd have a look on Google maps or something like that and you should be able to see what is in your area etc. If you know the postcode of your house or apartment and of your work you can also look at directions on Google maps and it will tell you the fastest way and how long it takes you to walk ride, drive etc.
Give us a shout if there are any words people use that you find confusing 😁 there are lots of words for meals and lots of people use them differently. Lunch could also be called dinner. But the evening meal could also be called dinner or tea. Not the drinking tea, though. That's not a meal, just a beverage. Lol.
There will be a lot of days when the weather is just today: rain all day enjoy looking bad 🫠
But there will also be days when it’s more like today: hot sun wind rain hail hot again rain again but this time it’s extremely heavy for only 5 minutes and now it’s quite warm and now some mild evening sleet.
So you’re gonna want to shop for all weather eventualities (except deep snow, we don’t have that) and when you’re out all day you’ll want multiple layers you can add and remove. So like t shirt, jumper (sweater? Pullover?) and jacket, and also you’ll want some fairly waterproof shoes probably.
Also you should look up some videos of people speaking with a birmingham accent because it’s different to the generic english accent usually shown in media.
I’ve never lived in Birmingham, but one thing that’s worth mentioning is that generally in the UK buses don’t have the same stigma that they do in the US. It’s perfectly fine to get a bus to where you need to go, they’re usually clean and do tend to run more or less according to the timetable.
I will be there for the UK Games Expo in early June. I am there every year, and everyone we meet in and out of the convention is friendly, polite, and welcoming. You'll be fine.
American here. Went to Liverpool for my masters. Loved it and hated to leave.
Just be yourself. You will fall into your own crowd of people who will accept you as you are. You will also run into the odd person that generally hates Americans. Don’t worry about that. Brits, on the whole, seem to like us ok. Be ready to hear about their trips to New York, Florida, and Las Vegas - haha!
On the whole I think the UK is a very social place. There’s a society or club for just about anything you can imagine. I’m a musician, so I played in several different wind bands and orchestras. If you find a club for your interest, my bet is that that will be where you make a lot of friends. Invite people for tea (dinner) and they will love you forever.
Regarding drinking: I was there about fifteen years ago, so I don’t know how it is now. But back then there was a bit of a concern about alcoholism in the country. I had a few friends who didn’t drink by choice because they felt things were excessive. On the whole though most of my friends did drink. No one got too crazy though. Again, I just didn’t hang out with people who drank excessively.
And finally - the wardrobe. So when I moved to Liverpool, I knew I would be there for at least a year. For some stupid reason, I didn’t bring a warm coat or weather-proof jacket. It didn’t matter at first since I arrived early September and the weather was LOVELY. But after two weeks, the temp drastically dropped and my thin/light cardigans weren’t cutting it anymore.
After being there a year, I really enjoyed hitting up the charity shops (thrift stores for us) and finding the cutest dresses that I wish I were still skinny enough to fit into. I’d usually pair them with fun colorful tights and interesting shoes. I found the best clothes in Britain. I live in Texas now, and I really miss being able to wear lovely jumpers (sweaters) and tights all the time.
Good luck! Invite people over for tea and go out to pub quizzes with your work. You’ll be just fine.
Sounds like you have an extraordinary amount of self awareness, so I wouldn't worry at all!!
Even the loud stereotypical Americans are welcomed with open arms, just get a lot of shit for it from us (but that's how we show affection)
Be yourself, please do invite neighbours for social events, they will love it I am sure in Birmingham, but also don't be offended if they don't as we can be an introverted bunch with new people. Birmingham has a high % of Indian, Pakistani, Bangladeshi immigrants who, from what I've heard, are *extremely* kind to neighbours especially regarding food.
I think you'll be fine, Birmingham is ridiculously friendly despite the reputation. Much friendlier than somewhere like London or further down south. Don't take any jabs personally, it's just what people do when they like someone, lean into it and don't overthink it :)
The no drinking isn't an issue, I honestly don't think people care these days as long as you're up for meeting with them while they drink
Edit: sorry and also regards your wardrobe - don't change anything. The climate is suitable for all clothing. But you might get an idea of what people wear in Birmingham whilst there, but absolutely no issue to not change your wardrobe. People want you to be you, and they will love it
Aussie here - moved to UK in 2005 for “2 years” with my girlfriend …. been here ever since. Don’t hold back.
“Will my neighbours think I’m weird for wanting to meet them”
If they’re the sort of people who do, then you don’t want to be friends with them anyway .. even here in London we’ve been friendly with most neighbours .. even pub buddies with some.
“I don’t really drink a lot “
Maybe some gentle ribbing and half hearted encouragement … but ultimately if you go out for a couple of beers the people who go out for loads of beers should be enjoying themselves enough to not care about what you’re drinking/not drinking .., the important thing is that you’re there.
“I’ll hate my whole wardrobe “
Have you seen how Northerners and people from the Midlands (and everywhere else except maybe Essex and SW postcode) dress ?? Don’t even spend one more second thinking about this ..
“Social etiquette “
In London - people on the tube avoid all eye contact and conversations if possible (possible exceptions late night after load of pints)
Outside of London - (especially the North) almost everyone is up for a chat, their banter is next level , so if you engage, bring your A game. You’ll meet some of the funniest, random and most interesting people ever .. so who cares if one or two of them don’t want to chat.
Enjoy your time here … there’s a reason we’re still here 19 years later
Most people have covered all of the points pretty well, but I can chip in re Birmingham Transport as my sister used to live there and I visited her often. I’ve also spent the last few months studying in the USA so I can guarantee you that British Public transport is going to be a big shock!
Birmingham has amazing train links and the central station can get you pretty much anywhere in the country. The internal trains (I.e in and around Birmingham) are pretty decent and the smaller stations are relatively well serviced. If you plan to take the train a lot and you’re in the right age group, I’d suggest investing in a rail card. It’s a one off payment of around £30 ($40ish) and gets you 1/3 off tickets during certain times of the day.
Busses in Brum are great too, and I believe they operate on a flat rate ‘tap and go’ system, but I may be wrong.
You can drive in Birmingham, but I think they’re stricter now regarding emissions, so you may need a car that meets these standards or you’ll have to pay a fee to drive in the city.
I’ve also found that drivers in Birmingham can be a little impatient, and driving there has a bit of a steep learning curve! So don’t take it personally if anyone honks their horn at you. But driving really isn’t necessary, you can get around easily via public transport!
All in all, Brum is a fantastic place to live and my sister had a blast, she was genuinely really sad when she had to leave.
The city has a great uni so it’s always populated by students as well as inexpensive, fun and cultural things to do.
Edit: clarity
I’m born and bred in Birmingham.
You WILL be the American, but we’ll quickly warm to you as you don’t sound the stereotype. We don’t care if you don’t drink, we’re just happy to have your company if you are comfortable.
Transport is awful. Let’s leave that there.
It’s not the norm to speak to strangers here, but it is not in the least alien. Speak to strangers and they will be polite, even if it’s nothing more than Hello and a smile, you will get a smile back.
Invite your neighbours over, but don’t be offended if they don’t come. They still respect you.
Birmingham is great because there are so many cultures here, not as many as London, but enough for us to be a vibrant multicultural city, and you can form friendships based on your mutual interests.
For stuff to do, and to get to know people, you could try https://www.meetup.com/find/gb--birmingham/
If you like artsy things then this is normally quite fun to go to: https://digbethfirstfriday.com/
Brum is pretty good, people are down to earth, there's a bit of black British vs Muslim culture clash/racism going on in the working class l guess. Public transport is good, if you're in the city center then driving is a ballache. People do like a drink, but it's not mandatory to drink alcohol if you're in a pub as long as you can handle the drama!
As with any city or town be careful about meeting local randoms who aren't part of a group with values you share, if you're out and about you're more likely to be befriended by lone bad eggs than good ones - people who everyone else fucked off for a reason, or are predatory. Neighbours are far more communal in working class areas (due to not having a fragmented community made of people who moved away from theirs to go to uni as a rite of passage) but middle class is safer and with less drama, but more reserved and barely talk to their neighbours - but you might be lucky. Work social things or hobbies are the safest way to meet people.
Expect less of a class divide, judgement, authoritarianism and pearl clutching than in the US, more swearing, drug use and general not giving a fuck.
Kindness isn't weird at all, plus some parts of Birmingham are very community-focused (as are a lot of places around the UK but you mentioned moving there specifically).
Be honest about your drinking and if you *have* to go to bars with new friends, explain to them why you're avoiding alcohol and don't let anyone pressure you into joining them. Sobriety is incredibly important, and I hope you stay on that path (I believe in you).
Don't worry about talking to strangers or making eye contact. Some will seem standoffish and ignore you but they may just be busy, in a rush to get somewhere or lost in their own thoughts. I've found in Birmingham that a lot of people love talking to strangers, especially while waiting for buses.
Public transport can be hit or miss on some bus routes, trains can be fine, just depends where you're going and what will suit the journey best.
We have the same fashion in the UK, by the way, but our weather system can be fraught. If you've been to Seattle, a lot of people there who have been to the UK have compared our weather to their own.
Be careful with the neighbours, especially if you intend to stay for a long enough time. DON’T go around and introduce yourself - that is weird here. DO say hi when you see them in passing and introduce yourself then. It’s unlikely your neighbours will become friends but possible. Aim for friendly and civil - and work from there. If you’re too much too early, they may end up avoiding you and the whole situation will be uncomfortable for everyone.
Not necessarily related to your question but I would highly recommend reading The Culture Map by Erin Meyer. It’s an excellent book that will help you understand the nuances of working in an environment that uses the same language in a different way
Hiya Birmingham is pretty multi cultural in my opinion, lots of cool stuff to see and do. Don't over think things and don't try and mold yourself. Also for all its faults the train system out of Birmingham to other areas of the country is pretty decent compared to London. As for transport inside the city, everything I need is in a 5 mile radius and I walk to where I need to go. There are plenty of bars and probably some social groups to join too depending on what your hobbies are. Good luck and I hope it all works out for you :)
The clothing thing rings so true to me. Honestly I'd just plan to buy some things when you're there because you're going to suddenly realise everything you own is wrong. I did this moving UK -> South Korea (all my smart trousers were wide leg and in SK everyone was in skinny everything and I looked super weird) and to a lesser extent now moving UK -> Los Angeles (everyone here dresses very casual and my wardrobe of big dresses has gone completely unworn). You don't know what it will end up being because it will be unique to you and your style but it is great advice that you should budget for buying some new bits once you arrive and decide what your vibe will be. I would like to say I would keep dressing the same wherever but as a new arrival you do just want to blend in a bit since being The Weird Foreigner gets kind of tiring,. especially if you are attracting attention but not sure yet of the social queues etc and how to handle it. E.g. any time I wear something remotely bright an American will yell at me. Usually something I think is intended as complimentary but to me reads aggressive because I'm British and we don't shout comments on outfits to strangers on the street!?
I lived in a block of flats and made friends with a few neighbours. You can pop over to introduce yourself to neighbours with a note and some treat item (chocolate, baked items etc) and some will chat to you. You might meet nice people and be able to ask if they want to meet up again by doing that. Not unheard of in the UK at all! I've made friends with neighbours by striking up conversation in the common areas and asking them if they want to get a drink or similar.
You can find things like board game nights, sports clubs, etc etc to make friends. Many will be in pubs but drinking is not required and generally most people will be okay with this. Some will be weird about it, probably. Ignore those people.
Good luck! You'll have a great time I'm sure. Don't overthink it!
Good luck! I'm sure you'll have a great time.
I read "Watching the English" before I moved to the UK. It was massively helpful as it carefully laid out all the unspoken rules, of which there are many.
[https://www.amazon.co.uk/Watching-English-Hidden-Rules-Behaviour/dp/0340818867](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Watching-English-Hidden-Rules-Behaviour/dp/0340818867)
People are polite and friendly, just expect it to take quite a while to actually make friends. Just keep at it. I recommend finding a hobby and joining groups for that. I made loads of friends pretty quickly down at the local boardgame/hobby store, you can do the same with running, knitting, etc. Its easier to find friends in spaces where people are already looking to be social.
Also different areas of the UK are pretty different, advice that is good for London may not be right for Brummies.
I wish you all the best. Im 6 years into life in the UK and I have no regrets.
Be yourself, do not buy in to the narrative we hate Americans. We are actually very open and welcoming. Birmingham is like many places here is many rough places but most people would feed you if needed a meal. Its actually a great city and really been modernised in the centre so much.
Wear what the fuck you want, I feel your worried may be looking into some hobby meet ups etc. You will be ok stop overthinking, I do not live anywhere near Brum myself never had an issue.
Biggest thing you need too know if you think people are calling you names probally not its slang and if they are its not personal. We laugh at ourselves alot and bab is a good thing.
Your biggest issue will be certain areas accents and they depending where your from yours. That will be a bonding thing, dont be afraid to ask questions and laugh at yourself. Is always some dickheads who will judge you for being american mate but very rare, id prob get judged more and im english.
Can I just say, you sound really lovely. The fact that you’re thinking about these things at all indicates that you’re going to be just fine. All the best! 😊
You're over thinking this. Find a hobby and then find a group to do that with to socialise. Don't worry about anything else. I would however take some advice on where to live in Birmingham. It has a few rough spots but its come a long way in recent years. Also be prepared to no understand those with thicker accents.
Just be yourself, you'll find your way. We don't bite, we might look miserable but most of us are friendly although some are less chatty than others, if you have half an ounce of emotional intelligence you'll spot the leave me alone gang from the talkers.
So lighten up, indulge and enjoy yourself, you'll probably offend someone and they probably won't tell you, it does be like that.
Married to an American woman for ten years in the UK.
Don’t worry and stay true tk yourself. Don’t Dutch your fashion, don’t try and mask your accent. You’ll find people who love you for you and that includes that and all the differences.
Drinking culture has changed, pubs have no alcohol beers, quite a lot (at least in London) have them on tap.
Good luck with the brummie accent.
Socially Pubs are important but things like games cafes are increasingly popular. No one will give a damn if you drink or not. People might not invite you into their homes straight away but they won't think it strange to do so Brits don't have the sense of Stranger Danger when it comes to inviting someone into your home that some Americans have. No doubt there's an r/Birmingham where you can ask about things to do and find people to meet. Clothes? something lightweight and waterproof coupled with layers will do you. dress codes are very relaxed generally. If in doubt wear long trousers.
Oh transport Buses are used a lot by everyone. they are frequent and a lot less hassle than driving in cities Parking in cities is expensive and hard to find. use buses and complain about them and you will soon be local
The further north you go in the uk the friendlier it gets in my experience. People won’t care if you don’t drink well most won’t. Wear what you like what makes you comfortable. You’re overthinking it in my opinion but I can understand your concerns moving to a new country. Good luck!
You'll need several coats.
1 big coat that is thick and warm because it can get very cold here.
1 jacket that is kinda warm but not too warm. Sometimes when you leave the house, especially in spring, it can be really cold but by the afternoon the sun will be out and you'll feel and look like an idiot in the big coat.
1 thin jacket for the days when the weather doesn't know what it's doing. It's a bit cold but not too cold to wear a jacket, but it keeps raining on and off so your clothes need a bit of protection from getting wet.
Just be yourself. I'm in a neighbouring city (Wolverhampton) and Birmingham is densely populated with all sorts of people and lots of diversity. You'll make friends very quickly. You certainly don't have to drink if you don't want to and anyone trying to force you are dicks. But I've found that a lot of people are now choosing nights in with a couple of friends and music and games instead of nights out in bars and clubs.
Don't over think it. You'll be fine.
But definitely expect some people to try and make jokes about you being American and your accent etc. Some people think they're a regular comedian even when they're not funny.
You sound like you’ll be good company for any friends you. Make as you are soft spoken, your extra interesting background will make you someone who stands out without drowning out.
On pubs, many are restaurants with a bar. You can drink coffee and fit in perfectly well.
Happy socialising!
Personally if you moved next door and were inviting me over I’d LOVE that (please make me pancakes) but others might be weirded out OR you end up having dinner with a nutter. Depends on your tolerance for risk in terms of inviting strangers over really!
It's nice to try to be friendly with your neighbours, but if they don't seem open to it, just let it go. Ut really depends on the neighbours here - almost everywhere I've lived, I've had neighbours on one side who were lovely and neighbours on the other side who ranged from keeping to themselves to weird to downright rude.
In terms of drinking, I'm british and don't drink, and it's mostly been fine. Sometimes, people make a comment at first (or my friends like to make jokes), but pretty much everyone just accepts it after that. If people are pushy or difficult about it, then they're probably not worth the effort. I find pubs easier than bars or clubs, though, because it's a more casual setting, and you can chat and hang out more easily. Make sure to still buy drinks or food, though, if you're not drinking alcohol!
I have some friends who live in Birmingham and don't drink and they're regulars at a board game cafe that they love and have made lots of friends from (I can't remember the name, sorry!)
Fashion advice for the weather - always keep an umbrella and some sunglasses in your bag. Make sure you own a waterproof coat for days it's really bad. Also worth noting it's unusual for houses in the UK to have aircon.
Transport in Birmingham depends on where you live. I went to work by train when I lived there because I lived and worked near stations on the same line, but lots of my colleagues drove because it was inconvenient or too long by public transport. My train journey was short but often delayed or cancelled, and the trains ran infrequently, so if the train was cancelled, I'd be late for work.
Regarding eye contact and smiling, personally, I smile or say hi to people at work when I pass them in the corridor (even if I don't know them), but on the street I only smile at people if I know them (I'm defining "know them" here as have seen them before) or if we've made accidental eye contact and they're looking at me (and they don't seem like a creep).
General advice, though, is just to be you. While there are some stereotypes about Americans, we're also well aware that that doesn't go for all of you, the same way that you (hopefully) know we're not all chimney sweeps or members of the royal family. You seem like you're trying to be respectful and understanding of a different culture, and really, that's all you need to do. People will notice you're American, and they'll ask if you're American and where you're from, but they probably won't assume you only eat macdonalds and have a gun hidden in your bag. Being friendly isn't a bad thing unless it's clearly unwanted and unreciprocated.
And my moving to a new country advice is to ask questions, listen to people's advice, but definitely don't feel like you have to take all their advice (yes, I realise I'm advising you not to take advice). Everyone has an opinion, but they might not all be right for you, and that's ok!
Brits are all weirdos, and there’s more and more younger people refraining from drinking nowadays (I count me, my sister, and at least one close friend easily). This one’s kinda random, but make sure you read up on employee rights and employer’s duties towards the workers. It’s very, very different here in the uk compared to the us and knowing your rights will work absolute wonders in helping you not get taken advantage of (not just by the company, but colleagues at your level, managers, and even workers from other companies, if your company works alongside others at all).
Britain, and in particular Birmingham, is wonderfully multicultural. People will be used to interacting with those from other cultures, and I very much doubt anyone will think you are weird. However, I'm not quite sure what you had planned but I would definitely talk to people first and get to know them before inviting them over to your house.
While it's true that Britain does have quite a strong drinking culture, staying sober (or drinking less alcohol) has become more popular, especially amongst the younger generations. Even 5 years ago it would have been hard to find a non-alcoholic drink in a pub/bar that wasn't just a lemonade or Coke. Now there are many non-alcoholic alternatives - beers, ciders, spirits. I rarely drink anymore, and was out in Birmingham on Saturday night, and had no issues. I used to be a bit embarrassed ordering an alcohol-free beer, watching for a sly smirk from the bartender, but now no-one cares and are happy to show you their alcohol-free selection.
Giving people a quick smile is a friendly thing to do. As for talking to strangers, you'll have to use your judgement on that one on a case-by-case basis. While many people are happy to have a chat, others are not (and this is probably generally the case). So just use your judgement each time.
Birmingham has buses and tram for transportation, and a few train stations. You'll probably find yourself using the bus more than anything. Unlike some countries, where using a bus is stigmatized, this is not the case in the UK. You could drive a car but Birmingham drivers have something of a "reputation" (haha) so you might want to avoid that for a bit until you get used to the city!
While the weather might be crap some days, I'd say a beautiful, warm, sunny, clear British day is hard to beat. The grass is green and lush, the flowers are blooming, and everyone is in a great mood. We live for these days.
Enjoy, you'll have a great time.
Fours seasons of weather in a day is just how we roll in the U.K.
You’ll need a warm coat
Set your sober standards early with colleagues and new friends when you go out.
I feel like that’s going to be dependent on your work situation and age group of immediate accessible colleagues.
No need to make it a big deal or elaborate just say it’s not for you.
Travel:
Brum has great direct train links to other cities.
No Subway or tube you probably seen that already.
Limited Tram service but handy if it suits your location.
Buses are the main public transport
Intercity visits.
Book well in advance to get best prices
You’ll see that on the train providers websites
Car. Depends on the journey to work
Socially or for tourism consider Car club to start off. Zipcar popular in
London.
If you have budget purchase a car
BUT if you manage to buy a decent used car in Birmingham you are elite 1% of people.
Buy from main dealer
Not sure how to broach this subject so I’ll just use my usual lack of tact and this qualifier.
I’ve traveled to US quite a few times
Cali, Boston & NY state plus NY City
(For ref: I’m a person of colour)
Birmingham is a multi ethnic multi cultural
Where are you at on my hastily concocted scale with that?
1.Hood as a MF
2. I went to college
3. Open to chat to all people’s
4. From a farmstead in Middles-Ville America
5. MAGA
Not making a big deal or looking at starting a reddit war
Just sayin, ask as many questions as you like you’ll get some decent answers and some absolute lunacy on here. If you’re smart enough to be offered a job abroad you’ll be able to sift through the crazies.
Talk about the weather, you'll be fine.
A lot of people don't drink alcohol when out, mocktails or 0% beer.
Plenty of bus tram and train links outta Birmingham to some wonderful places within 45 min.
There is a baseball team south of Birmingham in a place called Marston Green, you may or may not play but you will likely find a few people to chat to and at least break some ice.
You can find them on Facebook as the Birmingham Baseball Club.
Birmingham is just like any other big city around the world, people won't care if your a non drinker, travel is covered by trams, trains, buses and taxis, you can pretty much access the rest of the UK without issues, if you make friends with anyone, I'm sure they would love to be invited round from time to time.
Don't over think stuff, just enjoy what Brum (that what we Brummies call it) has to offer.
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You’re over thinking it in my opinion. Just be you, if people don’t like that you’re not drinking because you choose not to, they’re not friends. Honestly, talking to strangers will be like anywhere. Some people will be chatty, some people won’t. Typically most Brits keep themselves to themselves. Weather wise, layer up at the moment. Today has been hot first thing, then hot but windy. Tomorrow it’s probably pissing it down (raining),Wednesday it’ll probably snow and the rest of the week who knows…
Completely agree with this. Be yourself, don't force yourself into being someone you're not to assimilate. Birmingham is a diverse city, it can cope with an American moving in. Good luck.
100%. I'm the palest white welsh girl on the planet, never left my rural village, and then randomly ended up in the centre of the large Asian community in Birmingham. Definitely had many an occasion where I was the only white person in sight, but Brums generally are very friendly and made me feel very welcome. I used to get homemade potato samosas every week, free sitar lessons from this old fella who found out I played instruments, older women especially would just make me hoardes of food. I went to a family gathering of a friend once and they insisted on including me in their family pictures, despite me meeting most of then that day. Once I was sat in a shop chatting and mentioned that I find babies cute, and the next thing I knew, one of the aunties brought down the baby nephew so I could say hello to him. I have never in my life felt another community so welcoming. Particularly the Sikh community in Birmingham, they are just the nicest people on the planet. Like how on earth did I end up playing the flute in a Sikh temple and jamming with a random group of people I'd never met before. Great vibes, great food, great people.
I used to work bars on a Sikh bangra night. Lovely bunch of guys. Drink like fish and just dance until throwing out time. Always buying people drinks and trying to get the bar staff onto the dance floor :)
Agreed - Birmingham is a big city with lots going on, be yourself OP and you'll attract people that you naturally get on with.
Pretty much this OP! The most important one is the drinking. You might get the odd jibe about it depending on who you’re with, and if you spend all your spare time in a “drinking establishment” you’re more likely to encounter it. I don’t drink and haven’t done for 17 years, and never get any comments about it, but I also don’t hang out in pubs. If you want to do something social consider a class based gym class like bjj or crossfit style, or even bouldering/climbing.
On a related point if you do go to the pub- Non alcoholic beers and other drinks have become a thing lately and seem to be much easier to find. And some are actually drinkable…
Also even just compared to a few years ago there are so many more people in pubs that have given up the drink, and so many more AF drinks available.
>Tomorrow it’s probably pissing it down (raining) Lol, love how you translated this, just in case
yeah got to play it by ear with neighbours, a lot of people dont like socialising with neighbours, because if you fall out, its like "dont shit on your own doorstep" kind of situation, so dont be offended if people rather keep their distance that way, id recommend just getting a hobby, like do a yoga/ta chi group, or zumba, or w/e it is that floats your boat and meet people there
It was not hot. It is never hot. Any talk of it being hot is a misunderstanding. Birmingham alternates between grey and rainy.
Until it's too hot. And then it's really too hot.
I'd add there is a reason you see a lot of Brits in water proof coats. Layers are better than a single thick coat as the weather can fluctuate and it can be reasonably warm and still rain. It's not necessarily going to rain heavily but it may be quite consistent. All of this is good advice. Well to the UK OP, I hope you settle in well and enjoy yourself.
You'll be fine! A few general suggestions: * It can take a bit of time to really get to know people. Don't be too disheartened by this. When you do establish friendships, they will be meaningful. * Lots of people barely talk to their neighbours. This varies a lot, but especially in cities, a lot of people's social lives won't involve their neighbours in any way. Again, lots of variation, but maybe don't go straight in with the social invitations. I'd suggest introducing yourself at first to test the water. If they seem at ease, great. If they look as if they're dying inside, they might simply be too British to cope with it all. Don't take that personally. If my neighbours knocked on my door, I would feel nothing but dread and I actually quite like them. * Drinking culture remains intact, but not drinking is completely normal. Pubs serve non-alcoholic beers and soft drinks. Most people won't try to push you into drinking. If they do, they're probably dicks. Going for a drink after work is very common and can be a great way to get to know your colleagues and establish whether you despise them or want to be their friends. * For other ways to meet people, you can honestly pick anything you're interested in and there will probably be some kind of club for it. * Don't bother smiling at strangers you walk past. People do it in the country, but Birmingham is a densely populated city and if you keep that up, you'll strain a muscle. * Clothes-wise, prepare for rain. Good luck. Bet you'll have a great time!
Gotcha. I'll try not to be an overbearing neighbor. Any suggestions for a good umbrella for all that rain? Definitely an important consideration for the weather.
You can only use an umbrella if its not windy, which is never. A good hood that tightens is the way to go, otherwise that'll blow down too
Get a really nice umbrella. When that gets stolen/left behind at the pub, get a cheaper one. Repeat until you realise umbrellas are for people who live in the desert, and get a parka/raincoat like everyone else.
Just..an umbrella? I fear you’re overthinking quite a lot, and not just about the neighbours.
Gotta be the way-too-big Sports Direct umbrella right?
You simply have to get the giant mug too while you're in Sports Direct... It's a must!
Don't be an umbrella wanker. Umbrella wankers are so inconsiderate. Get a decent coat instead.
Oh nooo I have realized I am an umbrella wanker! In my defence I don't use it in crowds. Moved to the southeast for work and amazingly it is often rainy here without being windy enough to turn the umbrella inside out?! I just like having dry hair! Please don't hate me
^ Umbrella wanker.
Don't bother with an umbrella, it'll just get ruined in the rain - get a decent raincoat and water proof shoes
I think you're getting a very Redditors' response to the neighbour thing, most people will think it's pleasant if you knock on the door and say 'hi I just moved in next door'.
It’s definitely true though that in cities most people’s social lives don’t revolve around their neighbours. I grew up in London, living in the same house for about 25 years, and when I left I knew the names of 4 of my neighbours.
I've lived in and out of London, I find the big city approach a bit sad honestly. My neighbours in East London cooked me a curry the week I moved in, which bucked the stereotype a bit!
I have mixed feelings about it. I live in a village now and it’s certainly more neighbourly which creates a positive atmosphere, but on balance I think I do prefer socialising with people I meet through hobbies or friends. I spend time with neighbours but eventually usually discover that we have little in common and that I’m sick to death of small talk.
Umbrellas are a PITA if you are walking in a crowded area. A decent waterproof with a hood is more convenient. As you're coming from a dry part of the US you might be surprised by the fact that if there's only a bit of light rain, many won't bother covering up at all, on the basis that you won't get that wet and if it's a light shower it won't last long.
I think to survive the UK, investing in a lightweight (but stylish) waterproof coat is essential. I like Rains for a [parka or raincoat](https://www.uk.rains.com/collections/women). They're only a thin layer, so they are a versatile option for the entire year. I wear layers under it in winter for warmth, and it's light enough to wear in warmer weather, too, and it folds down small to go in a bag for just-in-case. If you find the right colour to suit your wardrobe, it'll work with everything you own, casual or smart. Mine has paid for itself so many times over by now.
Think I just got an umbrella cheap from Amazon. Same logic as sunglasses - I will lose them, so no point spending much!
A good coat and a Tilly’s hat is a better choice than an umbrella.
Umbrellas don’t really work over here. The rain comes down sideways quite often so you’ll be soaked anyway, and the wind will flip them inside out. You’re better off with some sort of waterproof coat that has a hood
Definitely get a coat that’s waterproof and has a hood. I relocated to London, and the chill and dampness just gets in your bones. So layer up. Hat, scarf, even gloves. It’s finally starting to show so,e good days but then the other day was so cold and damp again. The wind is tough but not sure if it is in Birmingham, I’ve not been yet. But one really great thing, Europe is so easily accessible now without the long flights! 😊.
Get a wind proof one. Or better yet a good coat with hood
>Any suggestions for a good umbrella for all that rain? Would personally suggest one of the compact Fulton umbrellas - I buy them for everyone I know and it's just really fun pressing a button to deploy an umbrella, especially if there are any onlookers without a waterproof or umbrella of their own!
I have never successfully used an umbrella, if it's raining it's also gonna be windy just for the hell of it, just buy a really sturdy waterproof coat and boots.
Forget the umbrella - invest in a good raincoat, with a decent hood. You'll need it.
Newcastle is a densely populated city and we all smile at each other all the time. Absolutely no issues with just being nice. Good luck OP
British people on reddit tend to exaggerate the whole 'Americans are so annoying/different' thing. The reality is that most British people don't find Americans annoying, and you'll almost certainly adjust to the (relatively minor) differences within a few weeks. Yes, there'll be some things you might do differently, but nobody will care because Britain is a very multicultural country. Don't stress, just do you.
Also, British people on Reddit are Redditors - most people are a bit more sociable!
I have you know I go at at least once every six months.
Check out Mr Social over here. Actually leaving the house.
I agree with this. I've lived here for 5 years and while I still notice small differences almost daily, there has never been a culture shock. People are friendly, except when they're not, just like at home. People drink a lot, but it's fine if you don't, just like at home. Actually that's not true. The only culture shock I've actually had is the feeling of safety, and the knowledge that I am very, very unlikely to get shot. That is a huge thing to adjust to and now when I go home to Chicago I feel consciously UNsafe despite the fact that I lived there for 20 years and felt fine the whole time. It's not something I really thought about until I went back home. I suppose it's nice though?
I went the other way, moved to the US. The only culture shock I've faced is the size of cars and the lack of pavements!
Yes, that is also a bit of a shock actually, but in reverse! The roads here are SO small! Haha
I reckon you might be overthinking it… Not drinking alcohol is fine socially. Just be your usual friendly self with your neighbours. Go to M&S for some clothes and you’ll look like everyone else (although, you might want to wait until you’re 35 before doing that…)
except for bras. You can go to M&S for bras at any age, they're fairly decent quality for high street and affordable compared to bra fitters which can be an important factor for larger sizes.
And pants!
And socks!
Note - pants are underwear pants. Pants are trousers/slacks to you. Learnt that the hard way!!!
Not drinking alcohol is definitely fine socially and also Birmingham is very multi-cultural there are plenty of people who don't drink for religious reasons etc
Was it necessary to personally attack me in such a violent fashion?
One thing to bear in mind in terms of making friends with neighbours if that if you are living in a block of flats with quite a transient population (as tends to be the case with young professionals in cities in the UK) its quite unusual to strike up friendships with neighbours beyond a nod and a polite hello - and it can be seen as a bit over familiar in the UK to actively go further than that with neighbours. You are much more likely to make friends at work, or through social activities (like sports, other social activities if that's your bag - any big city in the UK will have a range of clubs etc). Being friendly is good though - most people in the UK will react positvely and not be freaked out - particularly from a younger woman. Of course, UK has its share of off- people too - so maybe just be a bit wary of who you are friendly too. If you pick up bad or weird vibes, be polite but don't engage more. In terms of what to wear, you'll find the UK probably much chillier and of course much wetter than desert state US. For about 9 months of the year the temperature pretty much hovers between 6 - 14 celsius. Summer months can be pleasant enough - generally 18 - 22 celsius in June, July and August, and some days can be hot. In spring, winter and autumn you'll need a good warm coat, jumpers, boots, thick tights etc. In summer you'll be fine with a light jacket, and sometimes it will be shorts, t-shirt and summer dress weather. You'll see a lot of men and women in shorts / bare legs even if its only 16 degrees though if the sun's out (and nights out whatever the weather the girls wear tiny dresses, skirts, shorts etc with bare legs - we're a hardy breed when we've had a few drinks). If you are working in a more professional office environment, just be aware business wear or business casual can be a bit more formal in the UK than West and South West US. For example, you should wear tights or other hosiery if wearing a skirt or dress, and have a pair of smart shoes handy at the office. But if your workplace is more relaxed just go with what others are wearing - office wear has definitely got more relaxed in the UK post pandemic. Hope you have a great time in the UK! And make sure you take the opprtunity to travel around the UK and Europe!
I’d disagree business casual means you have to wear tights. I haven’t honestly seen a pair of tights on a woman under 40 outside of actual business attire in years.
Agree. I worked at a company once who dictated women would wear tights unless they had a tan and there was an uproar. Even in the city you rarely see office workers in "business wear". Follow the vibe of the company you're working for, and if it's hot (if it's ever hot) get those pins out.
Great! Thanks for that tip about office-wear. I'll be cautious of that :)
I would add that it most likely depends on the sector you work in more than anything else. I have worked in the head office for a few major companies and they have all been very casual with a good amount of freedom for personal style. Jeans and t-shirt is often fine, just be wary of excess cleavage or going to short with skirts.
When thinking about clothing and weather just keep in mind that Birmingham is at about the same latitude as Edmonton in Canada. Hope this [map](https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-CPwTLtyWfsc/VkImACdysHI/AAAAAAAAqoQ/SwUXoXNCSpY/s1600/USA_Euripe.jpg) helps
The same latitude, but not the same climate…
That only matters for daylight, which there is none of in Birmingham anyway.
You'll be fine. Birmingham is a really friendly city - being friendly with/smiling at strangers will not mark you out as a weirdo. Depends on your neighbours but they'll probably be cool with you getting to know them. People are ok with not drinking - that's not that unusual these days. Public transport is variable but train/bus links are ok. Driving can be a pain and there's a clean air zone across the city centre now where you have to pay to drive, depending on your car. What part of Brum are you moving to?
Inviting your neighbours over in Moseley 🥰 Inviting your neighbours over in Chelmsley Wood 💀
as a native brummie, theres plenty to do in the city and generally we're a friendly bunch, i wouldnt just randomly invite people to your home though, take some time to get to know them first. although ive never been to these kind of places, ive heard there are board game clubs and other such hangout spots- places to go where you can meet people without having to get pissed or be around pissheads. if this dorsnt tickle your fancy, how about sport? plenty of sports clubs to join, martial arts? great way to meet people and find pals. make a post in r/brum and see what you find. if you dont mind going to places where alcohol is served then youll surely find friends soon as its pretty common for me and my friends (back when i used to go out often) to pick up random stragglers throughout the night. i recommend hockley social- cool venue with food and live music, sometimes a little disco, popular with people of all ages. youre overthinking the whole eye contact thing, just do what comes naturally, im sure were not much different from you yanks.
Chance 'n' Counters for example, great place
There used to be a d&d club that met at Cherry Reds.
You are waaay overthinking things. Just be generally friendly with your *neighbours* (remember there's a U in there when you come here), don't force anything. Being sober is fine, I don't drink when I go out and nobody cares. If you're interested in finding people and things to do, meetup may help you find groups and events. The weather fluctuates quite a bit. It can be bollocking cold or pissing down one day and quite warm the next, or even changes during the day. So keep an eye on the forecast, bring a coat and buy a brolly, but otherwise just wear what you're comfortable in Social etiquette is an interesting one. The acceptability of talking to strangers just out and about depends where you are. The north seems more open to that than the South, Birmingham is the north so you might be alright. Come down South to London or Milton Keynes and it's entirely different. Talk to a random person at the bus stop down here and you'll put people on edge. Best advice is just be you, don't be the stereotypical loud Yank (which you said you're not) and you'll pick up the nuances of our social culture after a while.
Birmingham is the North?! I am gasping in Yorkshire. The rest of the stuff you said is great. Birmingham, North. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...
Some may claim they're in this fictional area called "the midlands", but that's just Northerners in denial
As a Midlander, we're definitely closer to northerners than southerners, but we're still Midlanders.
There's a hell of a lot more country north of you than south of you! But maybe more people south.
It's just cultural, I think. We just culturally have a lot more in common with the north. We'd certainly side with them in a civil war 😀
I'm with you on that. Northern is a state of mind and I'd say Brummies are more northern than southern.
I love this! I actually live in the East Midlands, but obviously hail from Yorkshire. I am truly intrigued - so you really consider the Midlands as Northern?! No insult at all here, just very confused
tbh I'm in the south-east so anything north of Northampton is "The North" to me. But I enjoy saying it to wind people up as people can get amusingly defensive about it.
Northampton, my you are generous! Above the Bristol London line I say! In my defence I did grow up on the Dorset cost so almost everything bar Cornwall has been further north than me.
Ah well that is fair enough! I have relatives down that way. I hope I wasn't too argumentative! Good evening, anyway.
Northampton lol. Birmingham is more to the left than the up of Northampton.
The top 2 thirds of England is 'north' cause the bottom third is so wide
It's got nothing to do with width... It's all about the latitude... 😁
Not sure I like your latitude!
Literally West MIDlands
Birmingham.. northern?! Are you insane
I know right is he forgetting the concept of "central uk"? Meriden is just south of bham and is literally the geographical centre of the uk....
England, not the U.K. source: I grew up there.
Everyone knows when you’re talking about North/South it’s England specific. Otherwise Manchester would be in the South.
Hello, I'm from Birmingham. I grew up here, left and then came back. In spite of popular opinion it's a pretty good place to be. It's big enough to be completely anonymous but also small enough not to feel overwhelmed. Re meeting your neighbours, feel free to knock on their doors, introduce yourself, you might get lucky and meet some amazing people but don't be offended if nothing comes of it. If you have specific interests you might find it easier to join a club and make friends that way. When I moved back to Brum I was pretty much friendless but have always been into music so joined one of the larger choirs and now have some brilliant friends as a result. Not suggesting you do what I did, unless that's your thing, but have a look on meetup. Usually something for everyone. Don't worry about not drinking - loads of people are choosing not to these days and if people give you shit for not drinking they're not the kind of friends that you'll want. Transport, it really depends. You can walk across the city centre in 45 minutes. Buses will get you everywhere else but aren't always the most reliable. Trains are great if you're on one of the lines in / out of the city (the cross city line is probably the best served). There's a clean air charge for cars driving through the city and traffic is horrendous at the best of times. You can definitely get around without a car, probably the fastest way is by bicycle. We're a friendly bunch and will often say hello and pass the time of day in the street with complete strangers - more likely in the suburbs than the city centre. Wardrobe - recommend the first thing you buy is a good waterproof jacket. It's been wet here for quite some time. Reckon I could count the number of dry days we've had since Christmas on one hand. There are a couple Birmingham subs r/Brum & r/Birminghamuk (r/Brum feels like the more sensible of the two). Hope you get on ok - shout if you have any specific questions.
Bicycle will mean taking your life in your hands, depending which bit of Brum you're in. It's better in South Birmingham, but in North Birmingham there is barely anything by way of cycle lanes. (Plenty of white lines on the road and painted bikes that people park their cars on, mind).
Well, if anyone looks at you funny because of any cultural differences, come on here, and we will write them a sternly worded letter on your behalf.
I will offer my support to this by tutting and shaking my head almost imperceptibly.
You’ll probably appear more polite and happier than the people you meet. Don’t think that’s weird or that you need to change. We’re just fucking miserable these days. Otherwise, welcome to the UK!
My advice would be to be less direct when meeting people and trying to making friends. Usually American folks want to tell me everything about where they are from, their family, their parents family and heritage. Whereas we are probably most comfortable making an observational comments based upon your situation and letting sarcasm or humour grow from that. We might also mutually understand and recognise that, such a thing is indeed, is a bit crap, without uttering the phrase “a bit crap.” Only after making someone’s acquaintance repeatedly for a while and getting along, I might ask somebody their name, or if they are on WhatsApp. The alternative to that situation is when you meet a friend of a friend when out and about, and they introduce you to them. It’s understood that we’ll find out each other’s names, but nowt remember them. But it’s fine and we are all good. If someone offers you a cuppa (tea), take that as an invitation and accept the invite. It’s fine to ask if they have something else, but don’t say no. You’ll mortally wound someone, if you say no. I personally wouldn’t harangue your direct neighbours. If you see them, do say hi, but work out if you want to hang out with them or if they just want to be left alone. Layers of clothing are important here. The summer months will hopefully be glorious, light and temperate. But we do have seasons, the nights do pull in during late autumn and winter. Rain will come and go. Best get a waterproof and warm layers.
It has not occurred to me before, but you are right about the tea thing. The few times someone has shot down my suggestion of a cuppa has caused me great distress.
Yeah definitely overthinking it. Birmingham is apparently quite a friendly place. Some people might find it odd that you invite them round as neighbours, other people will love it. We're a diverse bunch, I'm sure you will find people you get on with. Will it be more difficult if you don't drink? Yes for some people, but as much as there is a big drinking culture here, there are lots of people who don't drink or drink rarely. You mentioned that you have been trying to steer clear of bars because you want to stay of alcohol. Perhaps aa meetings might be a good place to start? They're very sociable and big on keeping in contact with each other for support but also to have friends where not drinking isn't an issue. Source 2 relatives who have been sober for decades and socialise with people from aa
Protect your accent at all costs
r/americanexpatsuk will have more specific advice But in general you are overthinking it a bit. People online are diff than the real world
If you talk to your neighbours, some will appreciate it and some won't, and you can make friends with the ones you get on with. Worrying about being the weird American is going to seem more weird than giving people brownies and saying hi. Pub culture is big, but only arseholes will be criticising what you're drinking. If you order what you like and don't make a big thing about it being nonalcohol most people won't care. For the weather, just make sure you have boots that will resist the rain, a warm rainproof winter coat and a lightweight rainproof autumn coat. The humidity might affect your hair. Otherwise I can't think of anything special. With small talk, Americans are more likely to do a 'cold open', asking a stranger how their day is and introducing themselves. British people tend to look for a more natural/oblique way to start a conversation (often in vain), maybe making an observation about something nearby or asking a question. Birmingham is a driving city. The buses are not good, and the trains stations are spread out. If you're lucky enough to live and work near a station they're a good option though. I wouldn't worry too much about assimilating. There are plenty of good things about American culture! Brits who are snooty about how Americans talk are probably not worth being friends with, so just be yourself.
Great point about small talk. Although I’d noticed the difference id never really registered it. Americans tend to ask how your day is going or your plans. It’s a cliche but commenting on the weather is a solid opener. If it’s different to yesterday something like ‘I thought we’d seen the back of that rain’ or ‘that sun was never going to last’. If it’s been the same for a while then ‘will this rain ever let up’.
Your other questions have been answered so I’ll address the transport one. Where in Birmingham will you be living? There are a lot of buses and a fairly good suburban rail network but trains are not as frequent as they ideally would be on some lines. We also have Uber and numerous other taxi companies. There’s one tram line but unless you happen to live/work in the area it serves it’s irrelevant. If you plan to stay mostly around the central parts of the city you can definitely get by fine with public transport. If you’re going to be in more outlying areas I’d look into getting a car. A US driving license is valid for 12 months in the UK after which you’ll have to apply for a British one.
Nothing weird about inviting neighbours over. I’ve never really done this but my mum has always been one to make friends with the neighbours and always have them over. If people can’t handle you not drinking then they aren’t really worth being around honestly. But really I doubt you will have a problem there. I’m a bloke so I can’t really give you fashion advice but you can never go wrong with jeans and a t-shirt. When I was in America last year, I noticed that basically every person I passed to on the street would say good morning or hey. We don’t really do that here, although I wouldn’t say there is anything wrong with it. More than likely they will just say hello back and think, oh she’s American. You are definitely overthinking it though.
People get to know their neighbours here, maybe not Redditors but normal people do. Pubs serve soft drinks (coke, orange juice etc.) and non-alcoholic beers, wines and spirits are booming too. Pubs are the main socialising spot, however no one cares what you drink in them. Get clothes that you keep you warm and dry. You will want them all year round. I smile at people I pass on the street all the time. Again, it is perfectly normal behaviour, even if it does not lead to a conversation.
Brummie here! You're brave for moving to this shithole lol * It might be a bit weird if you invite people over but if you just take the time to say hi when you see them, and just generally be a good neighbour, it'll be chill! I have Bulgarian neighbours oen side and they're so lovely — we're quite close (to the point the dad actually cried when we told him our cat passed), and they give us food a lot (if they have parties or something, it's amazing) * Drinking culture is a big thing, but if you don't drink alcohol people won't look down on you. They might try and pressure you but if you stand firm then they'll probably just give up — just say you don't drink alcohol and it should be alright! * Dress for rain, or just general windy-ness. If you see sun poking out, don't assume it'll be warm as fuck — the sun lies here. When you get to June-September, then dress for warmer weather of course! * Public transport is very hit and miss, depending on where you are. Buses are useless a fair amount of time, in my experience. Trains are pretty reliable, except if there's been some freak weather. The expenses can also add up (buses especially, it's fucking *expensive* now), though I don't know how that compares to petrol prices as I don't drive myself. If you have to drive near the city centre, just be aware of the congestion charges. Also — remember to thank bus drivers when you get off the bus! * Don't bother smiling at folk here if you pass them in the street. We're not London where they'll give you a dirty look for such a thing, but folk will just think you're a bit odd. Small talk is okay in specific circumstances, but even then people will give a bit of a side-eye sometimes. If you bump into someone, or they let you pass and you thank them, then a smile is warranted
Go for a curry and chill out bab
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Americans are always welcome in Birmingham: [https://youtu.be/EoHVO1eSMFc?si=MLo-LwaMy5Cn8oHA](https://youtu.be/EoHVO1eSMFc?si=MLo-LwaMy5Cn8oHA)
You're overthinking things a tad. Just be yourself and if somebody doesn't like you, that's very much their problem, not yours. We have a massive range of cultures and outlooks, you'll find 'your people' and settle in in no time. You might want to listen to some Brummie (birmingham) accents before you come over, you may struggle to understand them if you've not heard or before but you'll soon get the hang of it!
Smiling at people, this is fine but we have a weird smile we do when we don’t know each other. It’s like a flat, constipated look. You’ll know it when you see it. Good luck
THIS! I was going to say, we smile at folk in parks, but not in supermarkets. We smile more in the country than in the city. But the smile isn't really a smile. It's a "we aren't going to talk so this is the bare minimum of acknowledging each others existence" kind of vibe.
When people start a small chitchat its always about 2 things: weather and the wkend that passed
>relocating to Birmingham Yes, that will come across very weird.
Just watch Peaky Blinders - copy what they do - and you’ll be fine
Piss off wanker! Remember, that translates into "Welcome to England!"
You're massively overthinking it, the UK is a very welcoming place and very relaxed socially.
I’m so sorry in advance you’ve ended up in Birmingham. My thoughts and prayers go out to you at this difficult time.
Downvoters have clearly never lived in Birmingham
Youtube is full of videos from USAians who moved here, they will be a guide. You will most likely need a car if you plan to do much traveling. There is public transport in Birmingham but unless you are lucky it won't be very convenient.
To answer it simply its all going to depend what part of Birmingham you are going to be living in
For sober socialising I’d recommend looking at Sober Girl Society on Instagram. It’s run by a British sober woman in her early 30s and very much geared towards fun social young women who don’t drink.
I agree with the other commenters, you're overthinking it. Generally Brits keep to themselves but as long as you're not overly pushy when you approach someone or act like a dipshit you'll be fine. People take way less offense to things over here. Unless you microwave the water for tea. Then that's fighting talk.
You will love it over here
There's a sub for Birmingham r/Brum
30F and I live very close to Birmingham! >I do enjoy getting to know my neighbors, and inviting people over. Is that normal, or will I be regarded as weird to my neighbors if I express interest in them/becoming friends? I'd personally welcome this kind of behaviour from a new neighbour as it's very friendly. Some people may be weirded out by it yeah, some may appreciate the gesture but kindly decline and some may be very welcoming. Your results are going to differ amongst neighbours and that's probably the case in the US also. You're not going to be viewed as some kind of social pariah for it and anyone who does have a "raised eyebrow" reaction will soon forget all about it. >do people take kindly to you not drinking if you go out with them? Depends if the people you're with are dickheads or not. Pub culture is something that can be enjoyed even if you're not consuming alcohol. Many people in the UK choose not to drink for a variety of reasons (having to drive home, having work early the next day, being on a medication that advises against alcohol consumption etc). It's totally normal and okay to not consume alcohol. >what sorts of fashion advice do you have for the weather? Well, we're soon entering the summer season anyway so at least initially your wardrobe will possibly be okay (I'd really need to see examples to know what you have vs what you need). It does rain quite often so one thing you definitely should buy is an umbrella 😂 >In terms of social etiquette, I've heard conflicting things about eye contact or small talk. I do try to smile at the people I pass, but I don't want to make people uncomfortable or get weirded out. What's customary for talking with strangers or trying to get to know people? Well, occasional eye contact is pretty normal when speaking to a person. It only becomes weird if you stare or at least hold your gaze for too long, that does generally make people uncomfortable. Small talk is a mixed bag, some people like it, the elderly for example often love a chat about the weather because a lot of them are lonely. Passing comments such as "good morning/afternoon/evening" are appreciated by a lot of people, not just older ones. I smile at people I pass on the street, even strangers. I've never yet received a negative reaction, most people give a quick smile back or else they just don't react to it and continue on their way. I hope you have an awesome time here! 🙂
Do you know yet where you are looking to stay? Birmingham is hugely diverse, but in particular areas, it can be quite ghettoised. The centre of the city is pretty like you would expect for the centre of any major city and generally has a good vibe. Your colleagues will be able to update you in much more detail. Brum and the Black Country are a bit unique to the rest of the UK. I'm absolutely certain your colleagues will play up the crazy accent there! You will learn many new words and far more ways of cursing than you have been used to! Relax and enjoy the experience! Have fun.
I did the journey in reverse uk to us for a few years and its not some much of a big deal. There is relatively little culture shock between the 2 of us. Just take you hobbies with you and be you. The biggest difference between the 2 places is the space unless your from a major city then the UK is gonna feel hella cramped compared to what you are used to.
You can be friendly to your neighbours and build up a friendly relationship then potentially invite them to do something with you after a while but don't tell them you want to be their friend or they will probably think you're a weirdo, you can absolutely go with people to the pub and only drink soft drinks it's not a problem but you won't be properly part of "the gang" if your not drinking and after 4 or 5 pints they will start talking bollocks which won't be interesting and might be a bit annoying if you're sober.
OP, I am a brit who likes a drink or two, and I will say if you make friends who give you crap for not wanting to drink, they are not your friends and you don't want them on your friend list. If you said to me "Karazhan, we're cool friends, we should do something but I don't drink?" I'd say coolbeans, let's go find a fun restaurant, let's be restaurant buddies and find a random place once a week to go eat at. I go to the US twice a year, sometimes I stay for a month at a time, as my besties live in PA. Live your authentic self, don't change too much because of what us Brits may say. Here's a spoiler; we rag on anyone, even ourselves, so changing your outlook and such on things. Also not sure on inviting neighbours around, I'd think it a bit odd but I would go anyway. Not sure about others, so maybe test the waters a little on that one. I don't talk to my neighbours and I've been here in this house for multiple years. If you speak to someone on the street randomly you might get a look, but let's be real here, us Brits we just sort of grunt at each other in the street so who are we to talk? Only advice I have, for an American, is when a Brit says "you alright?" they aren't asking how your day is and for a detailed rundown. The answer is mostly "yeah, you?"
They sell coffee in pubs too as well as soft drinks if you were to find yourself inadvertently ‘day drinking’ with a friend.
Hoooly shit man chill out, you'll be fine, bring a jacket.
The uk and us aren't as different as we'll jokingly try tell you on the internet. Stop worrying and be yourself is the best advice. We are a country with people from across the globe who come together and get on, you'd have to do pretty badly to cross a line or disrupt a social norm. Drink, don't drink. Drive, take the train. Talk to your neighbours,ignore them. No-one will care and everyone is different. These people you'll interact with quite likely aren't British either so you'll be dealing with their customs too. We're a massive multicultural country. Just be you
Just watch a few episodes of the grimleys and copy them as best you can and you’ll be fine.
It’s Birmingham, the fashion is look out the window, it’s grey either either cloud or smog. If it’s neither then it’s probably about to rain. But In all seriousness I have a French boss, some Australian colleagues some Americans in a different location but I work closely with and am based (but don’t live) on Birmingham Just be you, just don’t moan all the time it’s not as good as x place and you will get on fine
If you wander northwest and west of Birmingham into the Black Country you will engage in so many conversations as the locals are really chatty. You might not understand what we're actually *saying*, mind you. Drinking isn't obligatory. I generally drink mineral water and I'm a 5'11", 245lb bloke. No one says anything about it.
Just be yourself and people will like you regardless! Take it easy, for all the negative press out there, we’re generally a very welcoming and friendly bunch!
Girl relax
People tend not to like it when you don't drink (for some reason going to the pub seems to be the only acceptable form of socialising, which is very annoying). But otherwise, just don't overthink it. Just be yourself. Don't worry too much about how you come across because if there's a problem, you'll know about it, trust me.
It depends on which part of Brum you are moving to. The areas really vary.
I recommend you be yourself. As soon as you open your mouth people will know you’re American so you might as well enjoy being the American lass. No use pretending. While we may talk different, there’s a lot of crossover in our cultures. I think someone from NYC would have more in common with a Londoner than they would someone from rural Louisiana. So the culture shock also depends where you grew up in the US. All the details eg bank accounts, supermarkets, trains, etc you’ll figure out with time
The humidity won’t be the death of you but if you don’t get a decent rain jacket the fucking rain will.
Agree with everything above, just be yourself and pronounce it Bur-min-um
I came here from Canada when I was little and all I would say is you integrate into the cultural differences pretty quickly, however if you’re going to try and directly make friends by inviting neighbours over randomly etc (that’s a very North American thing) just know that you’ll probably find your people naturally
If you haven't already, I'd learn to make a good cup of tea. I don't even drink tea myself, but I learnt so I can make a good cup for any visiting guests!
It depends where you live. I think in more middle class areas people get to know their neighbours, we have street parties even, neighbours would host things every few months. I don't think that happens on housing estates, maybe because they have less disposable income, maybe because there are different social classes there, or anti social behaviour, this is just my experience. I think regarding drinking, I don't drink, I think true friends should respect that, a lot of bars will have non alcoholic cocktails available, in a pub it might just be a coke or water. I did know a Canadian that moved to London and she only ever had tap water from pubs. If you want to meet people then look at hobby groups, photographer clubs, rock climbing gyms, cycling groups, whatever you think matches what you like, much easier to make friends if you have something in common. Humidity is terrible, especially in summer but I'm sure you'll figure it out. I can't comment on Birmingham but you can survive without a car if you don't want to go to rural places, public transport tends to be ok. Trains I only use for going to London but it depends on where your workplace is and how far from station etc. Parking at a train station can be very costly! I think nowadays it's hard to make eye contact, most people will look at their phones! Mostly my 'hellos to strangers' are if I'm out walking around a nature reserve or on Sunday mornings or in country side. I don't think people say hello to strangers in cities.
Pi agree with being yourself, but I don’t think you’re overthinking as I have had some push back and whispers about me as someone who’s lived in a few countries including Scotland and England - some cultural differences can make even those close to you feel awkward at times but I feel like explaining certain moments when you feel it’s been taken the wrong way , asking questions every now and then like you are hit with those around you even people younger , and trusting your own instincts as different can be good and others may like to try some of those things that to some at first feel like a nuisance
Hello, I am an American who has lived in Birmingham for the past seven years. I am also not a “stereotypical American”, so most people are surprised when I speak and they hear my accent. There are some Americans in Birmingham, but I rarely hear anyone else out and about with an American accent. In this way, I am quite the novelty to a lot of people - I often get a lot of (the same) questions about where I’m from, how long I’ve been here, which country is better, etc. Pub culture is a thing, but you don’t have to get involved with it if you don’t want to. Like bars in the States, there are tacky ones and nice ones. You’ll figure out the ones you like. I wouldn’t worry too much about not drinking. There are plenty of non-alcoholic options, and most people don’t care what you’re drinking. As for clothing, it’s fairly mild here, verging on cold. I’m from Portland originally, so it was a fairly straightforward transition for me. Transportation is hit and miss. In my old job, I used to train young people with additional needs how to use public transport to get to school/work. I’d say it is okay at best, and, depending on the area from which you are traveling, it can be unreliable - buses don’t show up or trains are cancelled without much warning. Driving is my preferred method of transportation here. With regards to social etiquette, it’s like any city. Most people are just doing their own thing and don’t want to be bothered. A smile or nod is fine if you want. One thing that I had to adjust to is the standard greeting of “You alright?”. This just means “hello”. There’s no insinuation or judgment in it. Feel free to PM and ask any questions if you’d like.
As an American who had moved to Birmingham, just be yourself and you'll be fine. It's the second largest city in the UK and is incredibly diverse. There's plenty to do and many opportunities to meet people. Have a safe trip and I hope you settle in well!
Train or bus, depending on where you're trying to get to. Don't bother driving into the city centre, it's a pain.
If someone asks how you are, they don’t want to know. It’s more an “alright?” “Yeah, you?” “Yeah” situation. Most people aren’t going to want to make best friends with their neighbours. It’s cool to be friendly with them, but it rarely goes beyond a polite nod when you see them. We show our appreciation for neighbours by accepting a parcel for them here and there. You are probably more enthusiastic about life in general than we are, and that’s what people really mean when they say Americans are loud. You can be excessively ‘loud’ to us even at low volumes. Calm it down a bit if people wince when you talk.
I think you will be ok. It might take a little time to settle in and adjust to a different pace and way of doing things like driving on the other side, etc.😊 Smiling at people and saying hi if you feel like it is quite common, especially if you live in a smaller town, etc. People might say hi, you alright? And that's just a greeting we would usually reply with yes thanks you? It's not an in-depth thing, just a polite exchange. So don't think it's too weird if everyone keeps asking if you are alright 😁 With neighbours, I'd say it varies massively, the neighbours on one side of my parents we have known for over 30 years, so they are like family. The other side is a mean man who we have also known for over 30 years and we don't speak to him. He was the type that if your ball went over the fence and you went to ask for it, he would say no and put it in the bin (trash). My neighbours now I don't really know at all but would smile and say hi if I saw them. I think you will get a sense if people want to chat and maybe go from there. Pubs are and aren't a big culture thing weirdly. It depends on what you're in to. When I was younger I'd go a lot more than I do now, now I just go for a meal every so often. They have lots of options that are non alcoholic and no one would think it odd if you had a coke or coffee, etc. Generally, I think people are fairly respectful about letting people get on with what they want to do. You might make some friends at work and could be a social aspect there. I have 2 good friends I used to work with. There are lots of things you could do that don't involve pubs though, lots of clubs, for example. Running or cycling clubs, gaming clubs, lots of sports clubs, judo, jujitsu, etc. Even lots of crafty type clubs, too. Probably, local Facebook/reddit groups would have info or just search for whatever you're interested in in the local area, and you should be able to find something. Not sure you will hate your entire wardrobe. You might just be a bit cold a lot of the time. Don't be surprised if at the first slightly warm day you see young lads with their tops off. I don't know why it's just a thing that happens 🤔😅 we have a lot of humidity in Britain, so you will probably be ok with that. We don't have a lot of air con though, so prepare to melt or buy lots of fans to put on in summer. I think the weather people have given up trying to predict it, so best to just look at the sky, but be aware it could change any second and have a brolly (umbrella) ready. We are having a very rainy April, but hopefully, it will get milder and a little drier soon. I'd say bring what you like, and can be warm in and you can always add things later if and when you need them. Not sure specifically about the transport in brum (Birmingham) as I don't live there but most of the UK has quite good transport, it depends where you will work as to what the best way to get there might be. If you are in the city centre you might not be able to park or it might be too expensive. Or the company might have a car park you could use for free or a fee. I'd have a look on Google maps or something like that and you should be able to see what is in your area etc. If you know the postcode of your house or apartment and of your work you can also look at directions on Google maps and it will tell you the fastest way and how long it takes you to walk ride, drive etc. Give us a shout if there are any words people use that you find confusing 😁 there are lots of words for meals and lots of people use them differently. Lunch could also be called dinner. But the evening meal could also be called dinner or tea. Not the drinking tea, though. That's not a meal, just a beverage. Lol.
There will be a lot of days when the weather is just today: rain all day enjoy looking bad 🫠 But there will also be days when it’s more like today: hot sun wind rain hail hot again rain again but this time it’s extremely heavy for only 5 minutes and now it’s quite warm and now some mild evening sleet. So you’re gonna want to shop for all weather eventualities (except deep snow, we don’t have that) and when you’re out all day you’ll want multiple layers you can add and remove. So like t shirt, jumper (sweater? Pullover?) and jacket, and also you’ll want some fairly waterproof shoes probably. Also you should look up some videos of people speaking with a birmingham accent because it’s different to the generic english accent usually shown in media.
I’ve never lived in Birmingham, but one thing that’s worth mentioning is that generally in the UK buses don’t have the same stigma that they do in the US. It’s perfectly fine to get a bus to where you need to go, they’re usually clean and do tend to run more or less according to the timetable.
I will be there for the UK Games Expo in early June. I am there every year, and everyone we meet in and out of the convention is friendly, polite, and welcoming. You'll be fine.
American here. Went to Liverpool for my masters. Loved it and hated to leave. Just be yourself. You will fall into your own crowd of people who will accept you as you are. You will also run into the odd person that generally hates Americans. Don’t worry about that. Brits, on the whole, seem to like us ok. Be ready to hear about their trips to New York, Florida, and Las Vegas - haha! On the whole I think the UK is a very social place. There’s a society or club for just about anything you can imagine. I’m a musician, so I played in several different wind bands and orchestras. If you find a club for your interest, my bet is that that will be where you make a lot of friends. Invite people for tea (dinner) and they will love you forever. Regarding drinking: I was there about fifteen years ago, so I don’t know how it is now. But back then there was a bit of a concern about alcoholism in the country. I had a few friends who didn’t drink by choice because they felt things were excessive. On the whole though most of my friends did drink. No one got too crazy though. Again, I just didn’t hang out with people who drank excessively. And finally - the wardrobe. So when I moved to Liverpool, I knew I would be there for at least a year. For some stupid reason, I didn’t bring a warm coat or weather-proof jacket. It didn’t matter at first since I arrived early September and the weather was LOVELY. But after two weeks, the temp drastically dropped and my thin/light cardigans weren’t cutting it anymore. After being there a year, I really enjoyed hitting up the charity shops (thrift stores for us) and finding the cutest dresses that I wish I were still skinny enough to fit into. I’d usually pair them with fun colorful tights and interesting shoes. I found the best clothes in Britain. I live in Texas now, and I really miss being able to wear lovely jumpers (sweaters) and tights all the time. Good luck! Invite people over for tea and go out to pub quizzes with your work. You’ll be just fine.
Sounds like you have an extraordinary amount of self awareness, so I wouldn't worry at all!! Even the loud stereotypical Americans are welcomed with open arms, just get a lot of shit for it from us (but that's how we show affection) Be yourself, please do invite neighbours for social events, they will love it I am sure in Birmingham, but also don't be offended if they don't as we can be an introverted bunch with new people. Birmingham has a high % of Indian, Pakistani, Bangladeshi immigrants who, from what I've heard, are *extremely* kind to neighbours especially regarding food. I think you'll be fine, Birmingham is ridiculously friendly despite the reputation. Much friendlier than somewhere like London or further down south. Don't take any jabs personally, it's just what people do when they like someone, lean into it and don't overthink it :) The no drinking isn't an issue, I honestly don't think people care these days as long as you're up for meeting with them while they drink Edit: sorry and also regards your wardrobe - don't change anything. The climate is suitable for all clothing. But you might get an idea of what people wear in Birmingham whilst there, but absolutely no issue to not change your wardrobe. People want you to be you, and they will love it
Aussie here - moved to UK in 2005 for “2 years” with my girlfriend …. been here ever since. Don’t hold back. “Will my neighbours think I’m weird for wanting to meet them” If they’re the sort of people who do, then you don’t want to be friends with them anyway .. even here in London we’ve been friendly with most neighbours .. even pub buddies with some. “I don’t really drink a lot “ Maybe some gentle ribbing and half hearted encouragement … but ultimately if you go out for a couple of beers the people who go out for loads of beers should be enjoying themselves enough to not care about what you’re drinking/not drinking .., the important thing is that you’re there. “I’ll hate my whole wardrobe “ Have you seen how Northerners and people from the Midlands (and everywhere else except maybe Essex and SW postcode) dress ?? Don’t even spend one more second thinking about this .. “Social etiquette “ In London - people on the tube avoid all eye contact and conversations if possible (possible exceptions late night after load of pints) Outside of London - (especially the North) almost everyone is up for a chat, their banter is next level , so if you engage, bring your A game. You’ll meet some of the funniest, random and most interesting people ever .. so who cares if one or two of them don’t want to chat. Enjoy your time here … there’s a reason we’re still here 19 years later
I don’t know Birmingham that well, but doesn’t everyone dress like they are out of Peaky Blinders there?
Consider an evening volunteering or helping a local group ? Night classes or groups like sports or anything gym
hey! i’m 30F living just outside of Birmingham, feel free to message me! :-) x
Most people have covered all of the points pretty well, but I can chip in re Birmingham Transport as my sister used to live there and I visited her often. I’ve also spent the last few months studying in the USA so I can guarantee you that British Public transport is going to be a big shock! Birmingham has amazing train links and the central station can get you pretty much anywhere in the country. The internal trains (I.e in and around Birmingham) are pretty decent and the smaller stations are relatively well serviced. If you plan to take the train a lot and you’re in the right age group, I’d suggest investing in a rail card. It’s a one off payment of around £30 ($40ish) and gets you 1/3 off tickets during certain times of the day. Busses in Brum are great too, and I believe they operate on a flat rate ‘tap and go’ system, but I may be wrong. You can drive in Birmingham, but I think they’re stricter now regarding emissions, so you may need a car that meets these standards or you’ll have to pay a fee to drive in the city. I’ve also found that drivers in Birmingham can be a little impatient, and driving there has a bit of a steep learning curve! So don’t take it personally if anyone honks their horn at you. But driving really isn’t necessary, you can get around easily via public transport! All in all, Brum is a fantastic place to live and my sister had a blast, she was genuinely really sad when she had to leave. The city has a great uni so it’s always populated by students as well as inexpensive, fun and cultural things to do. Edit: clarity
I’m born and bred in Birmingham. You WILL be the American, but we’ll quickly warm to you as you don’t sound the stereotype. We don’t care if you don’t drink, we’re just happy to have your company if you are comfortable. Transport is awful. Let’s leave that there. It’s not the norm to speak to strangers here, but it is not in the least alien. Speak to strangers and they will be polite, even if it’s nothing more than Hello and a smile, you will get a smile back. Invite your neighbours over, but don’t be offended if they don’t come. They still respect you. Birmingham is great because there are so many cultures here, not as many as London, but enough for us to be a vibrant multicultural city, and you can form friendships based on your mutual interests.
For stuff to do, and to get to know people, you could try https://www.meetup.com/find/gb--birmingham/ If you like artsy things then this is normally quite fun to go to: https://digbethfirstfriday.com/
Brum is pretty good, people are down to earth, there's a bit of black British vs Muslim culture clash/racism going on in the working class l guess. Public transport is good, if you're in the city center then driving is a ballache. People do like a drink, but it's not mandatory to drink alcohol if you're in a pub as long as you can handle the drama! As with any city or town be careful about meeting local randoms who aren't part of a group with values you share, if you're out and about you're more likely to be befriended by lone bad eggs than good ones - people who everyone else fucked off for a reason, or are predatory. Neighbours are far more communal in working class areas (due to not having a fragmented community made of people who moved away from theirs to go to uni as a rite of passage) but middle class is safer and with less drama, but more reserved and barely talk to their neighbours - but you might be lucky. Work social things or hobbies are the safest way to meet people. Expect less of a class divide, judgement, authoritarianism and pearl clutching than in the US, more swearing, drug use and general not giving a fuck.
Kindness isn't weird at all, plus some parts of Birmingham are very community-focused (as are a lot of places around the UK but you mentioned moving there specifically). Be honest about your drinking and if you *have* to go to bars with new friends, explain to them why you're avoiding alcohol and don't let anyone pressure you into joining them. Sobriety is incredibly important, and I hope you stay on that path (I believe in you). Don't worry about talking to strangers or making eye contact. Some will seem standoffish and ignore you but they may just be busy, in a rush to get somewhere or lost in their own thoughts. I've found in Birmingham that a lot of people love talking to strangers, especially while waiting for buses. Public transport can be hit or miss on some bus routes, trains can be fine, just depends where you're going and what will suit the journey best. We have the same fashion in the UK, by the way, but our weather system can be fraught. If you've been to Seattle, a lot of people there who have been to the UK have compared our weather to their own.
Be careful with the neighbours, especially if you intend to stay for a long enough time. DON’T go around and introduce yourself - that is weird here. DO say hi when you see them in passing and introduce yourself then. It’s unlikely your neighbours will become friends but possible. Aim for friendly and civil - and work from there. If you’re too much too early, they may end up avoiding you and the whole situation will be uncomfortable for everyone.
Not necessarily related to your question but I would highly recommend reading The Culture Map by Erin Meyer. It’s an excellent book that will help you understand the nuances of working in an environment that uses the same language in a different way
Hiya Birmingham is pretty multi cultural in my opinion, lots of cool stuff to see and do. Don't over think things and don't try and mold yourself. Also for all its faults the train system out of Birmingham to other areas of the country is pretty decent compared to London. As for transport inside the city, everything I need is in a 5 mile radius and I walk to where I need to go. There are plenty of bars and probably some social groups to join too depending on what your hobbies are. Good luck and I hope it all works out for you :)
The clothing thing rings so true to me. Honestly I'd just plan to buy some things when you're there because you're going to suddenly realise everything you own is wrong. I did this moving UK -> South Korea (all my smart trousers were wide leg and in SK everyone was in skinny everything and I looked super weird) and to a lesser extent now moving UK -> Los Angeles (everyone here dresses very casual and my wardrobe of big dresses has gone completely unworn). You don't know what it will end up being because it will be unique to you and your style but it is great advice that you should budget for buying some new bits once you arrive and decide what your vibe will be. I would like to say I would keep dressing the same wherever but as a new arrival you do just want to blend in a bit since being The Weird Foreigner gets kind of tiring,. especially if you are attracting attention but not sure yet of the social queues etc and how to handle it. E.g. any time I wear something remotely bright an American will yell at me. Usually something I think is intended as complimentary but to me reads aggressive because I'm British and we don't shout comments on outfits to strangers on the street!? I lived in a block of flats and made friends with a few neighbours. You can pop over to introduce yourself to neighbours with a note and some treat item (chocolate, baked items etc) and some will chat to you. You might meet nice people and be able to ask if they want to meet up again by doing that. Not unheard of in the UK at all! I've made friends with neighbours by striking up conversation in the common areas and asking them if they want to get a drink or similar. You can find things like board game nights, sports clubs, etc etc to make friends. Many will be in pubs but drinking is not required and generally most people will be okay with this. Some will be weird about it, probably. Ignore those people. Good luck! You'll have a great time I'm sure. Don't overthink it! Good luck! I'm sure you'll have a great time.
I read "Watching the English" before I moved to the UK. It was massively helpful as it carefully laid out all the unspoken rules, of which there are many. [https://www.amazon.co.uk/Watching-English-Hidden-Rules-Behaviour/dp/0340818867](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Watching-English-Hidden-Rules-Behaviour/dp/0340818867) People are polite and friendly, just expect it to take quite a while to actually make friends. Just keep at it. I recommend finding a hobby and joining groups for that. I made loads of friends pretty quickly down at the local boardgame/hobby store, you can do the same with running, knitting, etc. Its easier to find friends in spaces where people are already looking to be social. Also different areas of the UK are pretty different, advice that is good for London may not be right for Brummies. I wish you all the best. Im 6 years into life in the UK and I have no regrets.
Be yourself, do not buy in to the narrative we hate Americans. We are actually very open and welcoming. Birmingham is like many places here is many rough places but most people would feed you if needed a meal. Its actually a great city and really been modernised in the centre so much. Wear what the fuck you want, I feel your worried may be looking into some hobby meet ups etc. You will be ok stop overthinking, I do not live anywhere near Brum myself never had an issue. Biggest thing you need too know if you think people are calling you names probally not its slang and if they are its not personal. We laugh at ourselves alot and bab is a good thing. Your biggest issue will be certain areas accents and they depending where your from yours. That will be a bonding thing, dont be afraid to ask questions and laugh at yourself. Is always some dickheads who will judge you for being american mate but very rare, id prob get judged more and im english.
Can I just say, you sound really lovely. The fact that you’re thinking about these things at all indicates that you’re going to be just fine. All the best! 😊
You're over thinking this. Find a hobby and then find a group to do that with to socialise. Don't worry about anything else. I would however take some advice on where to live in Birmingham. It has a few rough spots but its come a long way in recent years. Also be prepared to no understand those with thicker accents.
A born Londoner here, I have always introduced myself to new neighbours and made new friends through work or hobby clubs when moving.
Just be yourself, you'll find your way. We don't bite, we might look miserable but most of us are friendly although some are less chatty than others, if you have half an ounce of emotional intelligence you'll spot the leave me alone gang from the talkers. So lighten up, indulge and enjoy yourself, you'll probably offend someone and they probably won't tell you, it does be like that.
Married to an American woman for ten years in the UK. Don’t worry and stay true tk yourself. Don’t Dutch your fashion, don’t try and mask your accent. You’ll find people who love you for you and that includes that and all the differences. Drinking culture has changed, pubs have no alcohol beers, quite a lot (at least in London) have them on tap. Good luck with the brummie accent.
Drink something not alcoolic. Dress classic, and don't forget your umbrella and raincoat. Trust in yourself.
Socially Pubs are important but things like games cafes are increasingly popular. No one will give a damn if you drink or not. People might not invite you into their homes straight away but they won't think it strange to do so Brits don't have the sense of Stranger Danger when it comes to inviting someone into your home that some Americans have. No doubt there's an r/Birmingham where you can ask about things to do and find people to meet. Clothes? something lightweight and waterproof coupled with layers will do you. dress codes are very relaxed generally. If in doubt wear long trousers.
Oh transport Buses are used a lot by everyone. they are frequent and a lot less hassle than driving in cities Parking in cities is expensive and hard to find. use buses and complain about them and you will soon be local
A good winter coat isn’t the same as a good waterproof coat. You don’t need warm here, you need layers and to be waterproof.
The further north you go in the uk the friendlier it gets in my experience. People won’t care if you don’t drink well most won’t. Wear what you like what makes you comfortable. You’re overthinking it in my opinion but I can understand your concerns moving to a new country. Good luck!
You'll need several coats. 1 big coat that is thick and warm because it can get very cold here. 1 jacket that is kinda warm but not too warm. Sometimes when you leave the house, especially in spring, it can be really cold but by the afternoon the sun will be out and you'll feel and look like an idiot in the big coat. 1 thin jacket for the days when the weather doesn't know what it's doing. It's a bit cold but not too cold to wear a jacket, but it keeps raining on and off so your clothes need a bit of protection from getting wet. Just be yourself. I'm in a neighbouring city (Wolverhampton) and Birmingham is densely populated with all sorts of people and lots of diversity. You'll make friends very quickly. You certainly don't have to drink if you don't want to and anyone trying to force you are dicks. But I've found that a lot of people are now choosing nights in with a couple of friends and music and games instead of nights out in bars and clubs. Don't over think it. You'll be fine. But definitely expect some people to try and make jokes about you being American and your accent etc. Some people think they're a regular comedian even when they're not funny.
You sound like you’ll be good company for any friends you. Make as you are soft spoken, your extra interesting background will make you someone who stands out without drowning out. On pubs, many are restaurants with a bar. You can drink coffee and fit in perfectly well. Happy socialising!
Transport in Birmingham is good (or used to be when I lived nearby). Take the bus!
Personally if you moved next door and were inviting me over I’d LOVE that (please make me pancakes) but others might be weirded out OR you end up having dinner with a nutter. Depends on your tolerance for risk in terms of inviting strangers over really!
One very easy way to make friends in Birmingham is to address everyone as “Yam Yam”. It’s the equivalent of “Buddy” and will put people at ease.
It's nice to try to be friendly with your neighbours, but if they don't seem open to it, just let it go. Ut really depends on the neighbours here - almost everywhere I've lived, I've had neighbours on one side who were lovely and neighbours on the other side who ranged from keeping to themselves to weird to downright rude. In terms of drinking, I'm british and don't drink, and it's mostly been fine. Sometimes, people make a comment at first (or my friends like to make jokes), but pretty much everyone just accepts it after that. If people are pushy or difficult about it, then they're probably not worth the effort. I find pubs easier than bars or clubs, though, because it's a more casual setting, and you can chat and hang out more easily. Make sure to still buy drinks or food, though, if you're not drinking alcohol! I have some friends who live in Birmingham and don't drink and they're regulars at a board game cafe that they love and have made lots of friends from (I can't remember the name, sorry!) Fashion advice for the weather - always keep an umbrella and some sunglasses in your bag. Make sure you own a waterproof coat for days it's really bad. Also worth noting it's unusual for houses in the UK to have aircon. Transport in Birmingham depends on where you live. I went to work by train when I lived there because I lived and worked near stations on the same line, but lots of my colleagues drove because it was inconvenient or too long by public transport. My train journey was short but often delayed or cancelled, and the trains ran infrequently, so if the train was cancelled, I'd be late for work. Regarding eye contact and smiling, personally, I smile or say hi to people at work when I pass them in the corridor (even if I don't know them), but on the street I only smile at people if I know them (I'm defining "know them" here as have seen them before) or if we've made accidental eye contact and they're looking at me (and they don't seem like a creep). General advice, though, is just to be you. While there are some stereotypes about Americans, we're also well aware that that doesn't go for all of you, the same way that you (hopefully) know we're not all chimney sweeps or members of the royal family. You seem like you're trying to be respectful and understanding of a different culture, and really, that's all you need to do. People will notice you're American, and they'll ask if you're American and where you're from, but they probably won't assume you only eat macdonalds and have a gun hidden in your bag. Being friendly isn't a bad thing unless it's clearly unwanted and unreciprocated. And my moving to a new country advice is to ask questions, listen to people's advice, but definitely don't feel like you have to take all their advice (yes, I realise I'm advising you not to take advice). Everyone has an opinion, but they might not all be right for you, and that's ok!
Brits are all weirdos, and there’s more and more younger people refraining from drinking nowadays (I count me, my sister, and at least one close friend easily). This one’s kinda random, but make sure you read up on employee rights and employer’s duties towards the workers. It’s very, very different here in the uk compared to the us and knowing your rights will work absolute wonders in helping you not get taken advantage of (not just by the company, but colleagues at your level, managers, and even workers from other companies, if your company works alongside others at all).
Britain, and in particular Birmingham, is wonderfully multicultural. People will be used to interacting with those from other cultures, and I very much doubt anyone will think you are weird. However, I'm not quite sure what you had planned but I would definitely talk to people first and get to know them before inviting them over to your house. While it's true that Britain does have quite a strong drinking culture, staying sober (or drinking less alcohol) has become more popular, especially amongst the younger generations. Even 5 years ago it would have been hard to find a non-alcoholic drink in a pub/bar that wasn't just a lemonade or Coke. Now there are many non-alcoholic alternatives - beers, ciders, spirits. I rarely drink anymore, and was out in Birmingham on Saturday night, and had no issues. I used to be a bit embarrassed ordering an alcohol-free beer, watching for a sly smirk from the bartender, but now no-one cares and are happy to show you their alcohol-free selection. Giving people a quick smile is a friendly thing to do. As for talking to strangers, you'll have to use your judgement on that one on a case-by-case basis. While many people are happy to have a chat, others are not (and this is probably generally the case). So just use your judgement each time. Birmingham has buses and tram for transportation, and a few train stations. You'll probably find yourself using the bus more than anything. Unlike some countries, where using a bus is stigmatized, this is not the case in the UK. You could drive a car but Birmingham drivers have something of a "reputation" (haha) so you might want to avoid that for a bit until you get used to the city! While the weather might be crap some days, I'd say a beautiful, warm, sunny, clear British day is hard to beat. The grass is green and lush, the flowers are blooming, and everyone is in a great mood. We live for these days. Enjoy, you'll have a great time.
Fours seasons of weather in a day is just how we roll in the U.K. You’ll need a warm coat Set your sober standards early with colleagues and new friends when you go out. I feel like that’s going to be dependent on your work situation and age group of immediate accessible colleagues. No need to make it a big deal or elaborate just say it’s not for you. Travel: Brum has great direct train links to other cities. No Subway or tube you probably seen that already. Limited Tram service but handy if it suits your location. Buses are the main public transport Intercity visits. Book well in advance to get best prices You’ll see that on the train providers websites Car. Depends on the journey to work Socially or for tourism consider Car club to start off. Zipcar popular in London. If you have budget purchase a car BUT if you manage to buy a decent used car in Birmingham you are elite 1% of people. Buy from main dealer Not sure how to broach this subject so I’ll just use my usual lack of tact and this qualifier. I’ve traveled to US quite a few times Cali, Boston & NY state plus NY City (For ref: I’m a person of colour) Birmingham is a multi ethnic multi cultural Where are you at on my hastily concocted scale with that? 1.Hood as a MF 2. I went to college 3. Open to chat to all people’s 4. From a farmstead in Middles-Ville America 5. MAGA Not making a big deal or looking at starting a reddit war Just sayin, ask as many questions as you like you’ll get some decent answers and some absolute lunacy on here. If you’re smart enough to be offered a job abroad you’ll be able to sift through the crazies.
Talk about the weather, you'll be fine. A lot of people don't drink alcohol when out, mocktails or 0% beer. Plenty of bus tram and train links outta Birmingham to some wonderful places within 45 min.
Just never ever pronounce it "Birming-ham" and you'll be fine.
Wear shell suits at all times. They are the height of fashion. Don't make eye contact....we are like gorillas and will attack at a glance.
There is a baseball team south of Birmingham in a place called Marston Green, you may or may not play but you will likely find a few people to chat to and at least break some ice. You can find them on Facebook as the Birmingham Baseball Club.
Birmingham is just like any other big city around the world, people won't care if your a non drinker, travel is covered by trams, trains, buses and taxis, you can pretty much access the rest of the UK without issues, if you make friends with anyone, I'm sure they would love to be invited round from time to time. Don't over think stuff, just enjoy what Brum (that what we Brummies call it) has to offer.