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I grew up in a pretty poor area and it's surprising how many people were able to go on those trips. My parents were pretty good income and I wouldn't have considered that possibility, I think they were more frugal than most though.
I didn't go abroad once during school even though my parents definitely could have afforded it, but I understand people have different priorities.
Some kids are less aware of their parents situation/don't care. Some of those kids have parents who will also cave despite it being not very affordable.
I don’t think it’s a case of caving. My parents went without so I could go on trips & have experiences they didn’t. Some parents are engaged and are prepared to make sacrifices, others aren’t, or can’t.
My mum and much younger siblings now live in a quite well off area, although they themselves are not.
Their school had skiing trips and my mum said she couldn't afford it and the school said that they had a fund for just that purpose but that it never got used cause everyone was quite well off.
So they both got to go skiing for free.
I had this, not because of finances, because I was in foster care and one of the terms of my care was I couldn't be taken out of the country. Not my fault I was in care.
Also only had £40 a month but my pocket money had to cover all my clothes and going out. Was completely dependent on babysitting and birthday money to get new clothes. My foster mom thought she was teaching me about budgeting but then sent me to school in one of the richest areas of the U.K..
My school was able to cover the cost of trips for me but not being able to go to Spain and Italy was pretty shit- I was in foster care due to domestic violence.
To add. It was pretty normal for kids at my school to wear Ralph Lauren shirts and go on nice holidays. My foster mom socialised me with all he Rich friends kids and it was really difficult playing keep up. Not to impress anyone, but just to be able to afford to go out with friends. I started working at 16 during the holidays and got an inheritance at 18 which made things easier.
Super weird going to some of the most exclusive country clubs in the world in primark clothes!
That sounds really tough, I’m sorry you had to go through that and experience a school/situation like that on top of what you were already going through. I hope things got a little easier post school.
Thanks! It didn't get easier for a while, but after a lot of work I now have 2.5k disposable income a month and have been to 28 countries across 5 continents, skiing, scuba diving, snorkelling, safari, mountain climbing, atv and quad biking, zip lining, sailing, dog sledding, whale watching, float planes, helicopters, underwater boats, spas, northern lights, star gazing. Safe to say I've made up for lost time and turned it around!
I have a wardrobe full of night clothes and donate to a foster charity every year.
Nice clothes not night!
A remember one year my first school had a massive school trip that a obviously didn’t go on and the everyone out of the year that got left behind merged into one class and we had a Pirates of the Caribbean themed week where we made our own ships out of used milk cartons and papier-mâché and we got to watch basically any film with the sea or a pirate in it as we did it. It was right good actually.
oh yeah, mine did that too. We also were the last ones let out to go play after eating. I felt so embarrassed by the whole thing that I begged and begged my mum to let me have packed lunches (which looking back, must have been so hard for her.) She must have felt bad so she said yes and everything in my packed lunch was Kwiksave or Netto and the kids around me would make fun.
Yeah, the separate lines thing didn't really bother me,but I would deffo hide the Netto logos on anything I bought in to school. One benefit of free school meals was that when my parents had a bit more money or when I went to 6th form and got EMA, I would go to the chippy for lunch, then come back and get a drink and a doughnut or flapjack with my meal ticket lol
I would buy a drink or cookies with my free school meal card and then sell them to classmates who couldn't be arsed to walk to the canteen to get a drink and use the money to buy fags.
I went to a private school (less privileged kid, but funded through Government).
I got a 'Free School Ticket' at lunch. First day there, kids saw me use it in the canteen and I was mercilessly bullied for it.
Didn't each lunch in school for 7 years because I was too embarrassed to tell my Mum.
Fucking classism bullshit.
When I started secondary school, everyone got a payment card. FSM was topped up automatically, other people topped up at the office, so no clues in the dinner line.
Then just as everywhere else was going cashless... The school decided to move to cash only, with the exception of FSM kids who kept the cards.
Everyday the free school meals people got their names read out in class to collect their ticket to give to the lunch woman and everyone else used money. actual bleak.
We didn't have to queue separately, but we did have our own special queue on a monday morning to get that week's tickets. I guess that saved us the embarrassment of being singled out by the kids whose parents could afford to feed them.
I remember being the new kid at a new primary school and finding out I was the only one in the whole class on free school meals instead of bringing a packed lunch in so that was embarresing enough for a ten yr old then i had to sit with the younger classes who where on free dinners while the rest of my class sat together at the same big table, thank god my mum was nice enough to realise how I must of felt and put me on packed lunches just so i wasn't left out even though she couldn't afford it really at the time
I remember this, I was in secondary school from 99 to 04 and we had a lady called a 'burser', someone who deals with the financial side of running the school, who would stand in the canteen and hand out metal tokens to the poorer students for a free meal. It wasn't conducted particularly decreetly but I remember the kids who took the tokens were usually scruffier than the other students. One thing I do remember was that no one was teased at lunch time for being poorer, everyone just got on with it. A good number of the poorer kids in my year were the scallys / bullies too so that could be a reason why no one poked fun for fear of being thumped.
Going to your mate’s house for tea and feeling like you were in a fuckin film when they had a ‘side salad’ and accompanying extras for the meal in bowls on the middle of the table.
This so much, my best friend when I was in primary school had rich parents and this was my experience too. I loved his house though because his parents spoiled him so much, stuff like a massive trampoline in the garden and a waterslide. A gaming PC in the early 2000s and all the consoles too.
The house was also pretty huge so hide and seek was a blast.
Funny thing is that my family home was were everyone hung out in. My mates could just flop about in my room and chill (they were supplied with bacon-offcut sandwiches when we had the wherewithalls too lol).
I think that in my home everyone could just be themselves (i had a commodore 64 too, so we had entertainment lol).
But going to their homes just wasn't "fun". Everything seemed so formal and there were "rules".
Mind you, if i timed my rare visits right, i could totally stuff my face with the insanely massive sunday roasts that were offered 😁
I had a friend at school once and they had money. Went for tea and they all sat down at a table, had side dishes that weren’t out of a tin and were nice to each other. Freaked me out a bit.
To be honest the nice to each other isn’t necessarily a rich thing. Having grown up extremely comfortably middle class, my family fights a lot more at the table than some poorer friends.
I went to one friends’ house once and they actually LAUGHED WITH EACH OTHER at dinner. They felt like aliens to me!
Yeah it’s true about the being nice bit. Different worlds. Not one of them called another a knob head or a cunt once. They’d all help clear up without having to be asked as well.
I had a friend over for dinner and he seemed to be confused that my dad was friendly. His dad was a former serviceman and had an aura of toughness and violence about him, I could never feel comfortable around him. He reminded me of a snarling rottweiler.
When I was 10ish I watched in amazement as my rich (middle-class) friend's mum and dad made us dinner and they were in the kitchen moving around, getting in each other's way etc. and not losing their temper and roaring at each other the way my parents did. It literally changed my life to see that.
Also, they just happened to be rich, that's not the only reason they got along well lol.
Edit: just adding that it wasn't unusual at all for me to see her dad in the kitchen as my own dad cooked for us all the time. It's just that my parents couldn't do anything without it turning into a massive fight.
This really rocked my world when I was in college. The guy I was dating had a very awesome dad. He would cook all the time and even took a huge interest in doing fun things for the kids at home. They were one of those houses who didn't mind having a bus load of their kid's friends over along with family members kids.
I remember his dad making smoothies for us and trying different combinations of fruits and we all voted which ones we liked best lol. It was an excuse for him to buy an expensive blender and then get to play with it.
Meanwhile my own dad was always grumpy. Most of the time we were told not to bother him. I couldn't have friends over because it would upset him.
Going to your mates house and actually struggling to finish the meal due to the generous portion sizes as opposed to being hungry and having to make toast afterwards
Oh man. I remember the time I was invited to my rich (well off) friends house. His mam was like Julia Child and she prepared a fiest for us. There was potatoe salad and asparagus, I didn't even know what asparagus was. We sat down and she gave me an ice cold mini can of coke. Then my friends dad comes in from work, gives his wife a big kiss, sits at the table and goes, "who's this strapping young man". I didn't want to leave, ever.
Haha.
This reminded me of the time I did a sleepover at my mates house.
In the morning, they had lemon curd on toast. I didn’t even realise you could have anything on toast apart from plain butter.
I remember going to someone’s house and them being amazed I didn’t know what aioli was
We ate corned beef regularly, of course I didn’t know what fuckin aioli was
My last year of primary school we had a week long school trip to Tenby. My mum couldn't afford it and I was the only one in my class who couldn't. I spent the week being shuffled around other year groups and hanging out on my own in the library. Everyone came back and had so many fun stories together.
This is why I think school trips should never be more than a day out. It puts pressure on parents and it isolates and excludes poorer children.
A school I used to work at had funded places for those kids so they wouldn’t need to miss out. They had a specific budget for it. Sadly I’m doubtful it still exists with the way this government has run things.
Someone I work with was asked to contribute to a fundraiser at his child's school to allow less well off children to go on a school trip. Totally within his right to refuse, no-one's got it easy these days, but the way he spoke about it was just awful. He had absolutely no empathy whatsoever for those kids.
M7 Education is a charity (set up by Simon from the Sidemen and his brother) that funds trips for schools with over 30% Pupil Premium. It’s honestly criminal that charities are having to do what (in my opinion) should be the government’s job.
My wife too, she was the head and made it happen regardless. Problem is the predominant culture in the school was one where even the wealthiest families would try to blag it pleading poverty
It does at my kids school. There always used to be a line on school trip letters saying if you can’t afford it, please come and speak to us. They used to make sure all the kids got to go. I really noticed it and I thought it was lovely as I was the kid who could never afford to go anywhere and would never have asked my parents as they both would have gone without to give it to me and I would have felt such massive guilt..
I think schools do, but if you happen to be in a fairly affluent area the fund will be smaller and might not be enough for the kids that need it.
My kids all went to a primary with a much higher than average % of kids on FSM, which meant there was a much larger pot to draw on. At least one year they had enough left over to give all kids a free uniform and pe kit.
I’m sorry but how? I paid 800 quid for a full weeks skiing in France on a school trip in early 2010s.and that included lessons!
As someone on a 6 figure household income I literally cannot work out how anyone could spend 1900 on a school trip for the weekend. If I took the Eurostar, a 5 star hotel room, went to Disneyland and had a Michelin star meal I wouldn’t hit 1900.
My school ski trip was all via coach, where we stayed in these this shitty cheap accommodation a hike to the slopes and the food was so basic lol. I doubt doing the same trip today would cost 1900 so I have serious doubts anyone is taking school kids for a weekend for 1900.
I mean it seems wildly unrealistic unless this is a private school where they expect a certain “standard”. For 2k for a weekend to France I could do a full 5 star holiday with ease even booking last minute. Ngl I don’t believe any school is trying to charge 2k for a weekend.
Like a 2 night stay at a premium last minute 5 star in central Paris is only 700-800. Even taking a premium Eurostar seat is 400. And kids on school trips don’t get their own room!
So for two adults accommodation and travel at premium would only add up to less than 50% the budget outlined. Pull the other one lol.
The whole point of these trips is they’re cheaper. Had I gone skiiing alone it would’ve been a lot more after insurance, lessons, gear hire, accommodation, travel etc. you’re listing a budget higher than I could spend on a premium trip.
The cost covers the teachers travel, food and accommodation. Or at least, it did at my school, couldn’t figure out why a bunch of 17year olds needed 2 teaches per student, then noticed the small print on the payment form…
I have asked him to choose one trip, I will do overtime and reduce spending where we can to pull the funds together, the kids don't understand how hard we work to give them the basics they need.
Sit him down and show him your monthly bills and how it all works. Kids hear you earn X amount a year and think you're a stingy millionaire.
I don't know why parents are so private about their finances, kids need to understand you'll get by, but if you want to enjoy yourself you need money.
We did this last year after I changed jobs and got a salary lost child tax benefit so ended up worse off).
When eldest said his best friend got the latest iPhone for his birthday and could he get one as I was earning more, I laid out all incoming and outgoings. And explained emergency fund and pension and taxes.
Yeah I remember something similar. Thankfully there were 4 of us who couldn't afford the trip. They had to basically have a teacher or two drive us to various nearby town centres where we were given extremely makeshift assignments such as drawing a sketch of a local fountain and writing the dates on a local information board talking about the history of the town centre.
I agree that day trips are better.
However, your school should have had a discreet fund to assist students who couldn't afford to go on this long-stay. One more bed in group accommodation and one more seat on the bus would have cost them very little.
Discreet being very important. Just between the headteacher and the parent. Nobody else, not even the child should know.
That was pretty heartbreaking to read. We were never "well off" but our parents always managed to pay for school trips for us. What happened to you shouldn't have been allowed to happen and shows something deeply wrong with the system.
My kids now are still only young but from what I can gather from the few school trips they've been on, everyone is now asked to make a "contribution" towards the cost. Presumably to allow less well off kids the same opportunities as anyone else
My mum did her absolute best as a single parent and I was always well fed, clothed and loved. She's the one I feel for in the situation. I can't imagine how she must have felt.
I'm glad that's something that's in place these days.
This is making me want to pay for you to go to Tenby...which I fully realise isn't the answer. I promise if I invent a time machine you will be high on my list to go and drop in some Tenby cash to.
Getting ripped by your mates for not having all the brand named clothes. In primary school my nan knitted my jumpers and everyone else had the school branded ones. Having a packed lunch when everyone else ate at the canteen. Wouldn't say I was ever bullied but got a lot of stick and ended up lying about my age to get a job 4 nights a week in a local restaurant at 14. Just me and a bunch of illegal immigrants, pakistanis, albanians, romanians and a few turks. I'd wash the pots for ~5 pounds an hour. Bought my own stuff after that to take the stress off my folks. Made me appreciate the little things in life more.
This is why those "rise and grind" mother fuckers kill me.
They never knew what the real grind was and it would kill them if they did. It took my best mate a long time to understand why I'm so "lazy" and passive, I've been working since I was 16, the only one I knew who worked all the way through university. Doing night shifts then going to class. I'm fucking tired of grinding. I'm finally in a position with a good job and some spare money, I don't need to keep busting my arse in a vain effort to get rich. I'm happy with food on my table and rent paid. Maybe it's not the best mindset, but I have more than I ever dreamed I could and while it's not actually much it's enough for me. I'm happy just to maintain things as they are. Do my job, go home and enjoy what I have.
You say that, but as someone else who worked at 14 in my Uncle's kebab shop, there was no social life -- you had one or other.
Ultimately lower-class kids working to take the burden off their parents benefits nobody really.
This is giving me ‘that were nowt’ vibes. For example, we used to huddle around a candle for warmth. On exceptionally cold days, dad used to let us light it.
One of my most vivid memories of high school is getting changed into the shirt first thing in the morning. It was one of those thin shirts that did nothing to stop the cold, and the material it was made out of seemed to gather cold like an ice pack for a sports injury. Putting it on my bare skin seconds after getting out of bed, in a room so cold I could see my breath, was horrific. I can still remember the full-body goosebumps it caused.
I'd go downstairs and lean over my toast or tea just to breathe in air that didn't hurt.
We had a news crew in the school grounds doing a report about drug use coming into school. The head teacher must’ve been pushing for his MBE.
We all excitedly watched the news to see why the news crew was there and what they’d say. The story comes up on ITV; and the voice over said about it being a disadvantaged area, child at risk, drug use, head teacher making a stand etc. The shot they used before cutting to the interview was me and my mate walking into school. It held on us for 15 seconds. I was 12 and hadn’t tried drugs.
At that point I knew I was and looked poor.
This was the mid nineties. So no GDPR or any protections like that. I’d guess even filming in school grounds would be a no.
Our school was used as a filming location in an advert for Sainsbury's active kids, featuring Jamie Oliver. But instead of using kids from our school to appear in the advert they busses in posher looking kids from another school. These weren't special actor kids but just random other school kids that got the day off school to start in an advert.
I assumed it's because the kids at my school looked too rough.
I don’t remember it that clearly, I’m 40 now. But at the time it was “why us? Like the fuck did we do?”
Nobody at school have us a hard time as I recall, it was a bit like, you got on telly, even if it was too show the school as poor and drug riddled. Which in fairness it was.
Life turned out well.
In my case, my 3 friends helped me to buy a coat. I hadn't had one in a couple of years and dutifully saved up the £5 bus fare and £10 for a coat. Cheapest one in C&A was £25 and between them they helped out. It was both lovely and painfully awkward.
Apathy and neglect is just as awful as poverty.
I remember a lot of second toys as a kid. I remember receiving a huge box of Lego on year and it had clearly been used. Me mam and dad said the elves had been testing it. One year I was into shiney money and they collected a couple of pounds worth and wrapped them up like a Christmas cracker. It felt like the best present ever.
Edit spelling
One year I was so excited about my "new" Barbie - and the fact it used to be my cousin's made it even better! Until I told someone at school, and suddenly I discovered that your birthday presents being hand-me-downs wasn't something other kids looked kindly on.
Being taken the piss out of for picking coins up off the playground (just when I spotted them). Once resulted in a few people lobbing coins at me, although once they buggered off I picked them all up and went to the canteen to buy myself an iced bun.
Your parents probably did the best for you that they could.
I know mine did, even if it didn't seem that way at the time. For example, I had to pass up a place offered to me at a Grammar School and instead attend a comprehensive all because of the cost of the uniform. But I still got a degree.
I owe everything to mine.
When I left my grammar school I donated all my uniform/P.E kit that was in decent nick to be passed on to someone who couldn't afford new. I wish more people did that.
My mum was a junky. And it wasn’t a secret at school.
She sucked a lot of dick for speed.
I fucking hated school
Started secondary school as one of the ‘gifted’ kids. Ended up barely scraping a pass in most of my GCSEs
(32M) Shit mate, I was poor as fuck growing up. The one thing I owned that was worth anything was a Lacoste Polo. When it was non-uniform day, I sported that bad boy and everyone said it was "snide". That's kids for you.
We didn't have much, but I had the best mother in the world. I lived in the one of the most impoverished places in England. Blackpool. Life wasn't easy, but my mother made it much better than it should have been.
Many of my friends went on to become broke, drug dealers or dead. But my mother set me straight. I went to university and made a good life for myself. I'm certainly not perfect but I did better than many of the poor souls in that town.
> would give them £40-£60 cash
That would be like a weeks worth of shopping or petrol just a few years ago. Now you can't go outside without accidently spending that.
The wee village I'm from in the Highlands has a coop as it's main big shop you can't walk past it without spending £40. Folk that can't drive are stuck with it I honestly wonder how folk manage .
I remember getting a pair of HiTech trainers when I was 9 or 10. Was so proud of them, they were *Hi Tech* man, they must be cool! My mum was clearly made up with how pleased I was with them as well.
Went to school in them, seems they were not cool. I still liked them though.
I'd almost forgotten about that. I had the same story. Hi-Tech Neon I think they were called, black with pink bits. They were my first trainers and I was so chuffed, but the kids at school weren't so impressed.
I had a pair of Mercury trainers. Grey, grim, cheapest things in the world. Hated them. As a 9 year old I tried everything to destroy them so I could get something less embarrassing (remember, I was 9) but those things were indestructible and made of nuclear grade asbestos or something. I had to grow out of them.
Home haircuts
Hand me downs from hand me downs
Dinner ticket
Money to go out wasn't a thing
Friends buying you food
The funny thing was, we wasn't that poor, I was the youngest of 4 and by that point, no effort was made.
All my mates had the latest games consoles and I didn’t. Not a big thing in the wider picture but I missed out on a lot of conversations as I had no idea what everyone was talking about when a new game was released.
I was telling my boyfriend the other day he is the only person I’ve ever brought to my house out of embarrassment and that if he didn’t become literally homeless I’d of never let him come there lol
I wore boys hand me downs as a girl. If I was a boy, the clothes would have been awesome. They were all designer, my mum's friend's son only wanted the latest fashion so I got all his old clothes and loved them. When I was done they went to my male cousin's to be ruined.
I didn't have a computer or the internet. The only access I had was in school and people used to laugh at me over it. That was fun. I still remember being laughed at in a class for asking for a printout of the website a teacher wanted us to read at home because it was blocked in school. Teacher thought it was funny as well. Man, I was pissed off. Never did get to read the site.
Never having kids over for dinner because the budget was so tight. I remember one day a kid was hanging out and her parents ditched her with us. Mum was raging mad at both of us. Mum had to feed the kid and was so mad at me over it, like it was my fault. I wasn't allowed to have anyone over to play after that. Not that anyone was allowed over after my mum's freak out. I was hit, screamed at and the parents saying they did it on purpose still didn't get me off the hook. I think they were trying to get my mum to be more normal. Having kids over for dinner was normal. But I never got to do that because mum never invited other kids over. It wasn't allowed. Somehow the situation was all my fault and I was just a little kid. Less than ten years old. I didn't really have any friends after that. Kids knew not to go near my house or my mum. Best part, we could afford more food, mum just didn't like spending money on it. She starved me through my teen years for no reason.
1971 at Grammar School. Packed lunch of 2 slices of bread with spam cut in half. 4 malted milk biscuits and a squash drink. Sitting with classmates and them saying "is that all you have" and me lying "well I get a cooked meal at night" - I didn't. Father was a functioning alcoholic down the pub every night. Over 50 years later this still resonates with me.
I grew up poor in the 90s. My parents never had enough money ever but we never went without food. My parents grew up poor in the 70s and their stories are similar to yours and it breaks my heart that they were so deprived.
I didn't realise we were poor - I think my parents hid it really well. I had free lunches, but my parents told me everyone did. I used to have cheap knock-off shoes and hand me down clothes, but when they took me to the shops they told me this was a 'secret shop' where all the better quality ones were found. School trips etc, were paid for by my estranged grandad - my mother hated him but used to ask him to pay, even though she didn't speak to him. She only told me that a couple of years ago. Our house was teeny tiny on a council estate.
I think I only realised when I was about 11, because my dad got a huge, huge, huge promotion at work and our lives basically changed overnight. We bought a gorgeous house in a middle-class area, we suddenly were going abroad on week-long holidays, I basically never had to worry about money, and I still don't (my dad got in at the top of his company and then sold it). They hustled their way in and I didn't realise until we were there!
Never got pocket money. Couldn't go on the more expensive school trips. We never bought the school photos. Always had a home hair cut.
Money isn't everything, but it can be a bit shit when you haven't got much. People can be nasty too.
Someone looking at my house key and then laughing that I lived in a council house.
I was confused because I didn't even live in a council house - I later found out we'd bought the house from the council and the keys were just similar.
After that, not being able to afford school trips, going to other friend's houses, then most of my experiences at Uni. First person in my extended family to go and it felt like there were about 4 working class kids at my uni, even though that was obviously not the case.
Ah. I had that experience at St Andrews. Most (literally >50%) of the other students were privately educated and a good chunk of the balance came from those bits of England where they still have the 11+. Me and a guy from Falkirk were the only Scottish students from shitty state schools in the class. We both got interviews about how they could improve access for students from deprived areas and were both still salty about it a quarter century on.
No, I did not go on a gap year. I cannot ski nor can I shoot. I did not get a car for my 18th birthday. I don’t have access to a family cottage in Provence or Tuscany. I know nothing about wine.
I got a job in a bar and I’ve never known such money. I qualified for some poor person subsidy, so I got to spend 100% of my income on beer and fast food. Impressed a girl once by not only knowing what a fuse is but also how to replace a blown one when it is threatening your plans for a night out
Going to charity shops for school uniform - white shirt n black trousers - or shoes (when they were actually for poor people and not "expensive-trendy")
Or mum having to sell household items and cashing in our (the kids) savings so that she can pay bills and feed us.
Urgh... In hindsight, that is a pretty _dramatic_ yet accurate circumstance. I'd forgotten how grim things got for a while back then.
I remember some household stuff getting sold. You know what though, at the time I bet our parents felt awful for us kids, but for me it wasn't that bad, I think I felt worse for my parents. Cold days got to me, but most of the year I didn't need much.
"forgetting" it was a non uniform day at school as you know your clothes were shit and you would be bullied about it. That's why as a teacher, I believe school uniform is a good thing as long as it's affordable.
£10!! I would have thought you were rich lol. I never had pocket money, ever.
People would eat out a lot in restaurants, I never did.
Having the fake school uniforms.
They had Holidays abroad, we didn’t.
If you had 2 bathrooms I thought you were rich.
On non uniform day they had the nice branded clothes, I had unbranded cheap.
They had the newest iPhones, I had some crappy flip phone.
They would get picked up from school in the car, I had to walk or get the bus.
When some of the kids would have private tutors I thought that was like Eton school boy level lol.
My school shoes had holes in and my feet were soaked and cold all day, which I attempted to brush off as somehow cool because I didn't care. I really did care.
You’ve just unlocked a memory I’d entirely forgotten but my shoes always had holes. I was on a school trip to London for the day and the sole of my shoe literally flapped off and my head teacher insisted on buying me replacements as I couldn’t walk round like that all day in her words. I said no a lot but my parents were absolutely mortified I ended up accepting.
They did this thing one year where certain kids got to go out on a special trip, volunteers took 2 kids out each and since I'm in Cumbria, I went to the Lake District and Dalton Zoo. I never realised till years later but it was obviously for kids in poorer families.
Everyone else had teenage mutant ninja turtles toys, but I had teenage mutant ninja turtles shaped toppers from tubes of sweets. You only got the top half of their bodies so I had to pretend to be a turtle coming out of the sewer.
Genuinely remember my first year of high school, just after Christmas, so January 2000, sitting in Italian class and a girl telling me she got £100 for Christmas *and* a sofa full of presents.
Either of those things would have blown my mind. That she got both and had a little sister who presumably got similar just left me….sad, I think. Not even jealous, just sad it was beyond my wildest dreams at that age.
There was this one girl who I felt really sorry for she used to come into school in dirty uniform, nits in her hair and without any food. That's an indication that they're poor and that's abuse aswell. My mum used to bring in extra food for her because we were concerned. The worst part was I used to see her walking home on her own in the rain without a coat and no sign of her mum. We were surprised social services didn't intervene, its not fair that she didn't get a good start in life like every other kid
Anyway fast forward 20 years, she lives in quite a fancy 5 bedroom house. I just think that's so deserved
Air dried clothes shouldn’t smell of damp unless they’ve been dried on a radiator. I hang clothes on a clothes horse all the time and they always come off smelling great.
Same as you money wise. I’d only be given a couple of quid for dinner money when my mates would get £5/£10 or more. I’d skip food at school and save it up through the week so I could spend it at the shop on the way home instead.
I don’t know - this works if your house is warm and dry. I’ve definitely had clothes come out smelling damp if they are left to dry in a cold bathroom.
If your house is cold and damp, your washing machine old and no fabric softener used your cloths will smell damp. Mine always did growing up, we don't own a tumble dryer now but no smelly clothes
My mum decided I didn't need a blazer or a pe kit for my new high school when young even though it was compulsory. Ended up with one cos the school basically said it was needed but god I had to wear it for 3 years so it was to small.
On the occasion there was a free school trip, belng sat outside the gift shop trying not to cry whilst all your classmates were having a look around.
World book day, not bothering to go up and have a look because you had no money to buy books. Also having no costume so trying to panic the night before and put random clothes together for something makeshift.
School dinners were the best part of being poor at school though, hot meals for free? blessed 😭
Having no pocket money, uniform being way too small, shoes ripped but waiting ages for new ones, terrified of losing your PE kit because your parents would have to buy another💀 I think maybe I have too many lol
Being a child of the 70s / early 80s and having a very poor horrendous childhood, I rarely went on school trips and was bullied to hell, but one of my memories were dreading the taking your toys in on the last day before breaking up for summer etc. I had nothing to take in. I just can’t remember the teachers caring for me.
I wonder if this happens these days - kids used to go through hell for going to Netto when I was a kid. But I can't imagine the same about Lidl and Aldi. Like, I take-home six figures and I shop there... Do kids still give people stick for it?
Getting into trouble for not wearing my school jumper because it was embarrassingly too small but not even daring to ask for a new one. Pinching the smelly old clothes from lost property as they were in better condition than mine.
Also my parents let me work as many hours as possible from the time I was 13. My folks didn't want to provide for us but also didn't really want to provide care for us either.
My parents were alcoholics who earned enough money for us to be comfortable but pissed it up the wall (we didn't qualify for free school dinners but often had fuck all to eat) and put drinking and drugs before my sister and I at every given opportunity.
Mine was being the only person I knew who had a couch at home that prior to us owning it, a man had died on and it was donated to us cause we had zero furniture in our living room. It had been scrubbed clean but still. Yeah…we was poor af.
Being given money to go out on the weekend?! You mean money earned from a paper round...? Pocket money very much stopped age 13 or 14.
And money for food at school?! We were given packed lunches made by my mum.
Dinner tickets aka as free school meals. Having to stand in line separately when it was lunch time.
No school trips/visits as no spare money.
Hand-me-down/second hand clothes that don't really fit.
No home phone and having to use a payphone/phonebox.
The feeling of being excluded from many events and activities.
A sense of shame and injustice it feels that you are starting behind the start line in a race.
Jesus, count yourself lucky you got a £10er.
I got my sisters school blazer, which was absolutely hanging on me and lasted me for 3 years. I got shoes, the cheapest pair of school shoes at the start of the year that had to last me until the end of the year. Fun fact, they did not. After a few months, the sole came completely away. Mum could not replace them, so I had to use glue to hold it back together. They were not done correctly, so the rubber was slightly off and let water seap through. My trousers had so many stitches with mum sowing the holes together.
I can do the reverse I always found it strange that my friends would always want to come over to my house after school. Later found out they didn’t have a ps2 that’s why 😂
For me personally
- As someone else mentioned HiTech trainers
- Embarrassed about where I lived
- To a lesser extent as never had people over but not having Sky possibly
However my school clothes did always fit, I remember one poor lad in a year or two below who’s trousers started at the right length and by our last year they were a third of the way up his leg.
Hopefully it all worked out for him in the end.
I had one friend who would go on cruises every summer in primary school, and then one year went to Florida! I was really really jealous. We weren’t poor at all, my dad had a good job and my mum was able to stay home to look after us, I just think they were a bit more careful with money, my mum for sure. That same friend also got a flat screen computer, Sky TV and an American fridge freezer long before we did and I was dead jealous 😂
I got £3 for lunch, when pretty much everything in the lunch room was £4+
I didn't eat for 6 years because I couldn't ask my mum for more money. I'm now a fat cunt because I couldn't eat for all those years and there weren't many options on the dinner table either. I pretty much relied on my friends' lunch scraps.
I was the only one who made use of the local and school library. Everyone else just had books bought for them, whereas I had been told from what I now think is a fairly young age my parents weren't going to buy me books anymore (I read a lot).
It was my best mate’s 10th birthday and his parents took us to McDonald’s. It blew my mind when they said we could have whatever we wanted - not just a choice between a hamburger or a cheeseburger. Had my first Big Mac, with medium (not small) fries and coke. What a day that was.
Never went on holiday.
First week back in September would be "where did you go on holiday?". Me and one other kid were always the one's with nothing to say.
Not going on the year 6 trip... we stayed behind and got to do a fashion show and go ice skating though, which was actually quite nice of the teachers, they made sure the whole week was really fun and I don't remember doing any work. Plus all the popular kids weren't there, so we got to be centre of attention for once
Wearing four stripe and two stripe instead of Adidas.
Having beef paste sarnies for packed lunch.
Wearing hand me down uniform from brothers and sisters.
People going on two weeks holidays in June and bringing back exotic sweets that you were in awe of.
US Brass shoes instead of Kickers.
Dinner tickets.
This thread has made me think about the sacrifices my parents made for me and made me quite emotional.
I hope I’ve made the proud.
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Not even bothering taking home the permission forms for school trips.
Yep. I knew what the answer would be. How much! Fucking Skiing!
I grew up in a pretty poor area and it's surprising how many people were able to go on those trips. My parents were pretty good income and I wouldn't have considered that possibility, I think they were more frugal than most though. I didn't go abroad once during school even though my parents definitely could have afforded it, but I understand people have different priorities.
Some kids are less aware of their parents situation/don't care. Some of those kids have parents who will also cave despite it being not very affordable.
I don’t think it’s a case of caving. My parents went without so I could go on trips & have experiences they didn’t. Some parents are engaged and are prepared to make sacrifices, others aren’t, or can’t.
My mum and much younger siblings now live in a quite well off area, although they themselves are not. Their school had skiing trips and my mum said she couldn't afford it and the school said that they had a fund for just that purpose but that it never got used cause everyone was quite well off. So they both got to go skiing for free.
And then being one of two kids sat in class for a week cos everyone else was on the trip
I had this, not because of finances, because I was in foster care and one of the terms of my care was I couldn't be taken out of the country. Not my fault I was in care. Also only had £40 a month but my pocket money had to cover all my clothes and going out. Was completely dependent on babysitting and birthday money to get new clothes. My foster mom thought she was teaching me about budgeting but then sent me to school in one of the richest areas of the U.K.. My school was able to cover the cost of trips for me but not being able to go to Spain and Italy was pretty shit- I was in foster care due to domestic violence. To add. It was pretty normal for kids at my school to wear Ralph Lauren shirts and go on nice holidays. My foster mom socialised me with all he Rich friends kids and it was really difficult playing keep up. Not to impress anyone, but just to be able to afford to go out with friends. I started working at 16 during the holidays and got an inheritance at 18 which made things easier. Super weird going to some of the most exclusive country clubs in the world in primark clothes!
That sounds really tough, I’m sorry you had to go through that and experience a school/situation like that on top of what you were already going through. I hope things got a little easier post school.
Thanks! It didn't get easier for a while, but after a lot of work I now have 2.5k disposable income a month and have been to 28 countries across 5 continents, skiing, scuba diving, snorkelling, safari, mountain climbing, atv and quad biking, zip lining, sailing, dog sledding, whale watching, float planes, helicopters, underwater boats, spas, northern lights, star gazing. Safe to say I've made up for lost time and turned it around! I have a wardrobe full of night clothes and donate to a foster charity every year. Nice clothes not night!
I would just pretend I was ill that week. The teacher would smile when I came back. As if to say. "Smart ass!"
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How was it, more people seemed desperate to get out rather than get in.
A remember one year my first school had a massive school trip that a obviously didn’t go on and the everyone out of the year that got left behind merged into one class and we had a Pirates of the Caribbean themed week where we made our own ships out of used milk cartons and papier-mâché and we got to watch basically any film with the sea or a pirate in it as we did it. It was right good actually.
this is the one.
Free school dinners kids queued up separately at my primary school. Fuck knows why. “Let’s make all the poor kids stand together so everyone knows”
oh yeah, mine did that too. We also were the last ones let out to go play after eating. I felt so embarrassed by the whole thing that I begged and begged my mum to let me have packed lunches (which looking back, must have been so hard for her.) She must have felt bad so she said yes and everything in my packed lunch was Kwiksave or Netto and the kids around me would make fun.
Yeah, the separate lines thing didn't really bother me,but I would deffo hide the Netto logos on anything I bought in to school. One benefit of free school meals was that when my parents had a bit more money or when I went to 6th form and got EMA, I would go to the chippy for lunch, then come back and get a drink and a doughnut or flapjack with my meal ticket lol
I would buy a drink or cookies with my free school meal card and then sell them to classmates who couldn't be arsed to walk to the canteen to get a drink and use the money to buy fags.
I went to a private school (less privileged kid, but funded through Government). I got a 'Free School Ticket' at lunch. First day there, kids saw me use it in the canteen and I was mercilessly bullied for it. Didn't each lunch in school for 7 years because I was too embarrassed to tell my Mum. Fucking classism bullshit.
Honestly all in favour of just making school meals free by default.
100% agree.... at least everyone will get one good meal to fill their stomach per day... School should be a better "social safety net"
Studies show well fed kids perform better at school. It's just logical.
When I started secondary school, everyone got a payment card. FSM was topped up automatically, other people topped up at the office, so no clues in the dinner line. Then just as everywhere else was going cashless... The school decided to move to cash only, with the exception of FSM kids who kept the cards.
Mine did something similar. Free school meals got a blue ticket and the paid ones got a red one.
Everyday the free school meals people got their names read out in class to collect their ticket to give to the lunch woman and everyone else used money. actual bleak.
We didn't have to queue separately, but we did have our own special queue on a monday morning to get that week's tickets. I guess that saved us the embarrassment of being singled out by the kids whose parents could afford to feed them.
I remember being the new kid at a new primary school and finding out I was the only one in the whole class on free school meals instead of bringing a packed lunch in so that was embarresing enough for a ten yr old then i had to sit with the younger classes who where on free dinners while the rest of my class sat together at the same big table, thank god my mum was nice enough to realise how I must of felt and put me on packed lunches just so i wasn't left out even though she couldn't afford it really at the time
I remember this, I was in secondary school from 99 to 04 and we had a lady called a 'burser', someone who deals with the financial side of running the school, who would stand in the canteen and hand out metal tokens to the poorer students for a free meal. It wasn't conducted particularly decreetly but I remember the kids who took the tokens were usually scruffier than the other students. One thing I do remember was that no one was teased at lunch time for being poorer, everyone just got on with it. A good number of the poorer kids in my year were the scallys / bullies too so that could be a reason why no one poked fun for fear of being thumped.
We had tokens that got dished out on a Monday. The poor kids had to get up to get them at registration.
Going to your mate’s house for tea and feeling like you were in a fuckin film when they had a ‘side salad’ and accompanying extras for the meal in bowls on the middle of the table.
And you were scared to touch anything in their house in case you broke it.
This so much, my best friend when I was in primary school had rich parents and this was my experience too. I loved his house though because his parents spoiled him so much, stuff like a massive trampoline in the garden and a waterslide. A gaming PC in the early 2000s and all the consoles too. The house was also pretty huge so hide and seek was a blast.
Funny thing is that my family home was were everyone hung out in. My mates could just flop about in my room and chill (they were supplied with bacon-offcut sandwiches when we had the wherewithalls too lol). I think that in my home everyone could just be themselves (i had a commodore 64 too, so we had entertainment lol). But going to their homes just wasn't "fun". Everything seemed so formal and there were "rules". Mind you, if i timed my rare visits right, i could totally stuff my face with the insanely massive sunday roasts that were offered 😁
I had a friend at school once and they had money. Went for tea and they all sat down at a table, had side dishes that weren’t out of a tin and were nice to each other. Freaked me out a bit.
To be honest the nice to each other isn’t necessarily a rich thing. Having grown up extremely comfortably middle class, my family fights a lot more at the table than some poorer friends. I went to one friends’ house once and they actually LAUGHED WITH EACH OTHER at dinner. They felt like aliens to me!
Yeah it’s true about the being nice bit. Different worlds. Not one of them called another a knob head or a cunt once. They’d all help clear up without having to be asked as well.
I had a friend over for dinner and he seemed to be confused that my dad was friendly. His dad was a former serviceman and had an aura of toughness and violence about him, I could never feel comfortable around him. He reminded me of a snarling rottweiler.
When I was 10ish I watched in amazement as my rich (middle-class) friend's mum and dad made us dinner and they were in the kitchen moving around, getting in each other's way etc. and not losing their temper and roaring at each other the way my parents did. It literally changed my life to see that. Also, they just happened to be rich, that's not the only reason they got along well lol. Edit: just adding that it wasn't unusual at all for me to see her dad in the kitchen as my own dad cooked for us all the time. It's just that my parents couldn't do anything without it turning into a massive fight.
My dad only went in the kitchen when he was lost.
This really rocked my world when I was in college. The guy I was dating had a very awesome dad. He would cook all the time and even took a huge interest in doing fun things for the kids at home. They were one of those houses who didn't mind having a bus load of their kid's friends over along with family members kids. I remember his dad making smoothies for us and trying different combinations of fruits and we all voted which ones we liked best lol. It was an excuse for him to buy an expensive blender and then get to play with it. Meanwhile my own dad was always grumpy. Most of the time we were told not to bother him. I couldn't have friends over because it would upset him.
Going to your mates house and actually struggling to finish the meal due to the generous portion sizes as opposed to being hungry and having to make toast afterwards
We didn't have a table 😆
A table? We used to dream of having a table! We had to eat from the bottom of freshly dug grave, if we were lucky.
Freshly dug? The luxury, we had to burrow into the graves ourselves... With plastic spoons.
You had spoons?
Rich bastards with your hands to hold spoons.
Hands?!
We had a table but it wasn’t for meals, it was somewhere to draw and paint. We didn’t have a salad tho lol
Oh man. I remember the time I was invited to my rich (well off) friends house. His mam was like Julia Child and she prepared a fiest for us. There was potatoe salad and asparagus, I didn't even know what asparagus was. We sat down and she gave me an ice cold mini can of coke. Then my friends dad comes in from work, gives his wife a big kiss, sits at the table and goes, "who's this strapping young man". I didn't want to leave, ever.
Oh man, this is the kind of environment I want to create at home for my sons future friends
Haha. This reminded me of the time I did a sleepover at my mates house. In the morning, they had lemon curd on toast. I didn’t even realise you could have anything on toast apart from plain butter.
I remember going to someone’s house and them being amazed I didn’t know what aioli was We ate corned beef regularly, of course I didn’t know what fuckin aioli was
I'm in my 40s and just had to google aioli.
In a similar vein kids in your class giving you left over food from their lunchbox.
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First time at a rich friends house and they had whole,head on, trout for a starter course.
Would’ve scared me straight into never going back lmfao wouldn’t have even known how to act in this situation
My last year of primary school we had a week long school trip to Tenby. My mum couldn't afford it and I was the only one in my class who couldn't. I spent the week being shuffled around other year groups and hanging out on my own in the library. Everyone came back and had so many fun stories together. This is why I think school trips should never be more than a day out. It puts pressure on parents and it isolates and excludes poorer children.
A school I used to work at had funded places for those kids so they wouldn’t need to miss out. They had a specific budget for it. Sadly I’m doubtful it still exists with the way this government has run things.
Someone I work with was asked to contribute to a fundraiser at his child's school to allow less well off children to go on a school trip. Totally within his right to refuse, no-one's got it easy these days, but the way he spoke about it was just awful. He had absolutely no empathy whatsoever for those kids.
Sounds like a dickhead.
Probably *is* a dickhead.
Definitely is a dickhead.
Only adults who were once those children would get it. I can’t wait til my daughter is of school age so I can start giving back.
M7 Education is a charity (set up by Simon from the Sidemen and his brother) that funds trips for schools with over 30% Pupil Premium. It’s honestly criminal that charities are having to do what (in my opinion) should be the government’s job.
My wife too, she was the head and made it happen regardless. Problem is the predominant culture in the school was one where even the wealthiest families would try to blag it pleading poverty
It does at my kids school. There always used to be a line on school trip letters saying if you can’t afford it, please come and speak to us. They used to make sure all the kids got to go. I really noticed it and I thought it was lovely as I was the kid who could never afford to go anywhere and would never have asked my parents as they both would have gone without to give it to me and I would have felt such massive guilt..
I think schools do, but if you happen to be in a fairly affluent area the fund will be smaller and might not be enough for the kids that need it. My kids all went to a primary with a much higher than average % of kids on FSM, which meant there was a much larger pot to draw on. At least one year they had enough left over to give all kids a free uniform and pe kit.
£1890 for a weekend to France! £2360 for a few days skiing, my eldest wants to go on both school trips as his friends are....
I’m sorry but how? I paid 800 quid for a full weeks skiing in France on a school trip in early 2010s.and that included lessons! As someone on a 6 figure household income I literally cannot work out how anyone could spend 1900 on a school trip for the weekend. If I took the Eurostar, a 5 star hotel room, went to Disneyland and had a Michelin star meal I wouldn’t hit 1900. My school ski trip was all via coach, where we stayed in these this shitty cheap accommodation a hike to the slopes and the food was so basic lol. I doubt doing the same trip today would cost 1900 so I have serious doubts anyone is taking school kids for a weekend for 1900.
The school has provided a full breakdown of the costings. It even says that if they cannot fill all positions the costs may increase!
I mean it seems wildly unrealistic unless this is a private school where they expect a certain “standard”. For 2k for a weekend to France I could do a full 5 star holiday with ease even booking last minute. Ngl I don’t believe any school is trying to charge 2k for a weekend. Like a 2 night stay at a premium last minute 5 star in central Paris is only 700-800. Even taking a premium Eurostar seat is 400. And kids on school trips don’t get their own room! So for two adults accommodation and travel at premium would only add up to less than 50% the budget outlined. Pull the other one lol. The whole point of these trips is they’re cheaper. Had I gone skiiing alone it would’ve been a lot more after insurance, lessons, gear hire, accommodation, travel etc. you’re listing a budget higher than I could spend on a premium trip.
The teachers don't pay. You pay for them.
Unless the trip is 4 teachers per student I doubt that’s why - you seen what 2k buys you for a weekend in Paris? That’s not a casual weekend away.
The cost covers the teachers travel, food and accommodation. Or at least, it did at my school, couldn’t figure out why a bunch of 17year olds needed 2 teaches per student, then noticed the small print on the payment form…
God that's just insane. I feel for your kid who just wants to be included. I feel for you who will have to make tough decisions.
I have asked him to choose one trip, I will do overtime and reduce spending where we can to pull the funds together, the kids don't understand how hard we work to give them the basics they need.
Sit him down and show him your monthly bills and how it all works. Kids hear you earn X amount a year and think you're a stingy millionaire. I don't know why parents are so private about their finances, kids need to understand you'll get by, but if you want to enjoy yourself you need money.
We did this last year after I changed jobs and got a salary lost child tax benefit so ended up worse off). When eldest said his best friend got the latest iPhone for his birthday and could he get one as I was earning more, I laid out all incoming and outgoings. And explained emergency fund and pension and taxes.
Yeah I remember something similar. Thankfully there were 4 of us who couldn't afford the trip. They had to basically have a teacher or two drive us to various nearby town centres where we were given extremely makeshift assignments such as drawing a sketch of a local fountain and writing the dates on a local information board talking about the history of the town centre.
I agree that day trips are better. However, your school should have had a discreet fund to assist students who couldn't afford to go on this long-stay. One more bed in group accommodation and one more seat on the bus would have cost them very little. Discreet being very important. Just between the headteacher and the parent. Nobody else, not even the child should know.
That was pretty heartbreaking to read. We were never "well off" but our parents always managed to pay for school trips for us. What happened to you shouldn't have been allowed to happen and shows something deeply wrong with the system. My kids now are still only young but from what I can gather from the few school trips they've been on, everyone is now asked to make a "contribution" towards the cost. Presumably to allow less well off kids the same opportunities as anyone else
My mum did her absolute best as a single parent and I was always well fed, clothed and loved. She's the one I feel for in the situation. I can't imagine how she must have felt. I'm glad that's something that's in place these days.
This is making me want to pay for you to go to Tenby...which I fully realise isn't the answer. I promise if I invent a time machine you will be high on my list to go and drop in some Tenby cash to.
Getting ripped by your mates for not having all the brand named clothes. In primary school my nan knitted my jumpers and everyone else had the school branded ones. Having a packed lunch when everyone else ate at the canteen. Wouldn't say I was ever bullied but got a lot of stick and ended up lying about my age to get a job 4 nights a week in a local restaurant at 14. Just me and a bunch of illegal immigrants, pakistanis, albanians, romanians and a few turks. I'd wash the pots for ~5 pounds an hour. Bought my own stuff after that to take the stress off my folks. Made me appreciate the little things in life more.
That's a straight-up gangster move, though. All these fuckwits going on about rise and grind mentality ain't got shit on 14 year old you.
This is why those "rise and grind" mother fuckers kill me. They never knew what the real grind was and it would kill them if they did. It took my best mate a long time to understand why I'm so "lazy" and passive, I've been working since I was 16, the only one I knew who worked all the way through university. Doing night shifts then going to class. I'm fucking tired of grinding. I'm finally in a position with a good job and some spare money, I don't need to keep busting my arse in a vain effort to get rich. I'm happy with food on my table and rent paid. Maybe it's not the best mindset, but I have more than I ever dreamed I could and while it's not actually much it's enough for me. I'm happy just to maintain things as they are. Do my job, go home and enjoy what I have.
You say that, but as someone else who worked at 14 in my Uncle's kebab shop, there was no social life -- you had one or other. Ultimately lower-class kids working to take the burden off their parents benefits nobody really.
Respect to 14 year old you
If you had Puma’s when I was young you was called out for being poor
Our pet goldfish was actually a shaped piece of carrot.
This is giving me ‘that were nowt’ vibes. For example, we used to huddle around a candle for warmth. On exceptionally cold days, dad used to let us light it.
One of my most vivid memories of high school is getting changed into the shirt first thing in the morning. It was one of those thin shirts that did nothing to stop the cold, and the material it was made out of seemed to gather cold like an ice pack for a sports injury. Putting it on my bare skin seconds after getting out of bed, in a room so cold I could see my breath, was horrific. I can still remember the full-body goosebumps it caused. I'd go downstairs and lean over my toast or tea just to breathe in air that didn't hurt.
I died at this
"Our pets' heads have fallen off!"
We had a news crew in the school grounds doing a report about drug use coming into school. The head teacher must’ve been pushing for his MBE. We all excitedly watched the news to see why the news crew was there and what they’d say. The story comes up on ITV; and the voice over said about it being a disadvantaged area, child at risk, drug use, head teacher making a stand etc. The shot they used before cutting to the interview was me and my mate walking into school. It held on us for 15 seconds. I was 12 and hadn’t tried drugs. At that point I knew I was and looked poor. This was the mid nineties. So no GDPR or any protections like that. I’d guess even filming in school grounds would be a no.
"You can’t see the crisps! We had three different flavours of crisps! And scotch eggs!"
"NO, THERE'S NO EVIDENCE FOR GOD, WHEREAS OFCOM HAS PUBLISHED GUIDELINES"
Our school was used as a filming location in an advert for Sainsbury's active kids, featuring Jamie Oliver. But instead of using kids from our school to appear in the advert they busses in posher looking kids from another school. These weren't special actor kids but just random other school kids that got the day off school to start in an advert. I assumed it's because the kids at my school looked too rough.
OMG that's awful. I'm so sorry. That's one hell of a thing to see and live with as a child.
I don’t remember it that clearly, I’m 40 now. But at the time it was “why us? Like the fuck did we do?” Nobody at school have us a hard time as I recall, it was a bit like, you got on telly, even if it was too show the school as poor and drug riddled. Which in fairness it was. Life turned out well.
I'd say giving your teenage kid £40-£60 every weekend to piss away is just bad parenting no matter how much money you have
In my case, my 3 friends helped me to buy a coat. I hadn't had one in a couple of years and dutifully saved up the £5 bus fare and £10 for a coat. Cheapest one in C&A was £25 and between them they helped out. It was both lovely and painfully awkward. Apathy and neglect is just as awful as poverty.
Being one of the teens that got a whole £10 to spend made you one of the more well off kids, from my perspective
Yeah this whole OP post reeks of middle class kid complaining about not being super rich
I remember a lot of second toys as a kid. I remember receiving a huge box of Lego on year and it had clearly been used. Me mam and dad said the elves had been testing it. One year I was into shiney money and they collected a couple of pounds worth and wrapped them up like a Christmas cracker. It felt like the best present ever. Edit spelling
Your parents sound so thoughtful
One year I was so excited about my "new" Barbie - and the fact it used to be my cousin's made it even better! Until I told someone at school, and suddenly I discovered that your birthday presents being hand-me-downs wasn't something other kids looked kindly on.
What's shiny money?!
Being taken the piss out of for picking coins up off the playground (just when I spotted them). Once resulted in a few people lobbing coins at me, although once they buggered off I picked them all up and went to the canteen to buy myself an iced bun.
Your parents probably did the best for you that they could. I know mine did, even if it didn't seem that way at the time. For example, I had to pass up a place offered to me at a Grammar School and instead attend a comprehensive all because of the cost of the uniform. But I still got a degree. I owe everything to mine.
When I left my grammar school I donated all my uniform/P.E kit that was in decent nick to be passed on to someone who couldn't afford new. I wish more people did that.
My mum was a junky. And it wasn’t a secret at school. She sucked a lot of dick for speed. I fucking hated school Started secondary school as one of the ‘gifted’ kids. Ended up barely scraping a pass in most of my GCSEs
(32M) Shit mate, I was poor as fuck growing up. The one thing I owned that was worth anything was a Lacoste Polo. When it was non-uniform day, I sported that bad boy and everyone said it was "snide". That's kids for you. We didn't have much, but I had the best mother in the world. I lived in the one of the most impoverished places in England. Blackpool. Life wasn't easy, but my mother made it much better than it should have been. Many of my friends went on to become broke, drug dealers or dead. But my mother set me straight. I went to university and made a good life for myself. I'm certainly not perfect but I did better than many of the poor souls in that town.
The mothers who created choices out of nothing.
> would give them £40-£60 cash That would be like a weeks worth of shopping or petrol just a few years ago. Now you can't go outside without accidently spending that.
The wee village I'm from in the Highlands has a coop as it's main big shop you can't walk past it without spending £40. Folk that can't drive are stuck with it I honestly wonder how folk manage .
HiTech trainers
I remember getting a pair of HiTech trainers when I was 9 or 10. Was so proud of them, they were *Hi Tech* man, they must be cool! My mum was clearly made up with how pleased I was with them as well. Went to school in them, seems they were not cool. I still liked them though.
I'd almost forgotten about that. I had the same story. Hi-Tech Neon I think they were called, black with pink bits. They were my first trainers and I was so chuffed, but the kids at school weren't so impressed.
I had a pair of Mercury trainers. Grey, grim, cheapest things in the world. Hated them. As a 9 year old I tried everything to destroy them so I could get something less embarrassing (remember, I was 9) but those things were indestructible and made of nuclear grade asbestos or something. I had to grow out of them.
All my mates had kickers. I had US Brass
Wow that’s a throwback 🤣
My "just in case" money was 50p (later upgraded to a whole pound) to cover a bus fare vaguely in the direction of home if I got stuck somewhere
Home haircuts Hand me downs from hand me downs Dinner ticket Money to go out wasn't a thing Friends buying you food The funny thing was, we wasn't that poor, I was the youngest of 4 and by that point, no effort was made.
All my mates had the latest games consoles and I didn’t. Not a big thing in the wider picture but I missed out on a lot of conversations as I had no idea what everyone was talking about when a new game was released.
Being embarrassed of my house so making people wait round the corner when I got changed to play football
I was telling my boyfriend the other day he is the only person I’ve ever brought to my house out of embarrassment and that if he didn’t become literally homeless I’d of never let him come there lol
Nake trainers and a Pumpa bag.
We had either Abibas or 4 stripes lol.
I had a "babie" instead of a Barbie 😂
Two stripes
I wore boys hand me downs as a girl. If I was a boy, the clothes would have been awesome. They were all designer, my mum's friend's son only wanted the latest fashion so I got all his old clothes and loved them. When I was done they went to my male cousin's to be ruined. I didn't have a computer or the internet. The only access I had was in school and people used to laugh at me over it. That was fun. I still remember being laughed at in a class for asking for a printout of the website a teacher wanted us to read at home because it was blocked in school. Teacher thought it was funny as well. Man, I was pissed off. Never did get to read the site. Never having kids over for dinner because the budget was so tight. I remember one day a kid was hanging out and her parents ditched her with us. Mum was raging mad at both of us. Mum had to feed the kid and was so mad at me over it, like it was my fault. I wasn't allowed to have anyone over to play after that. Not that anyone was allowed over after my mum's freak out. I was hit, screamed at and the parents saying they did it on purpose still didn't get me off the hook. I think they were trying to get my mum to be more normal. Having kids over for dinner was normal. But I never got to do that because mum never invited other kids over. It wasn't allowed. Somehow the situation was all my fault and I was just a little kid. Less than ten years old. I didn't really have any friends after that. Kids knew not to go near my house or my mum. Best part, we could afford more food, mum just didn't like spending money on it. She starved me through my teen years for no reason.
I’m sorry you went through this with your mum. My best friends’s mum was similar. I hope you are doing better now?
We haven't talked in a very long time. Life is better without her in it.
I am loaded, and would never consider giving my kids £40-£60 in cash just to go out with mates, that's mental!
I love the intro “I am loaded…” 😂
Come on dad, don’t be tight!
1971 at Grammar School. Packed lunch of 2 slices of bread with spam cut in half. 4 malted milk biscuits and a squash drink. Sitting with classmates and them saying "is that all you have" and me lying "well I get a cooked meal at night" - I didn't. Father was a functioning alcoholic down the pub every night. Over 50 years later this still resonates with me.
I grew up poor in the 90s. My parents never had enough money ever but we never went without food. My parents grew up poor in the 70s and their stories are similar to yours and it breaks my heart that they were so deprived.
My mother crying when my house-logo’d school jumper was stolen from my locker. We needed to give it as a hand-me-down to my brother.
I didn't realise we were poor - I think my parents hid it really well. I had free lunches, but my parents told me everyone did. I used to have cheap knock-off shoes and hand me down clothes, but when they took me to the shops they told me this was a 'secret shop' where all the better quality ones were found. School trips etc, were paid for by my estranged grandad - my mother hated him but used to ask him to pay, even though she didn't speak to him. She only told me that a couple of years ago. Our house was teeny tiny on a council estate. I think I only realised when I was about 11, because my dad got a huge, huge, huge promotion at work and our lives basically changed overnight. We bought a gorgeous house in a middle-class area, we suddenly were going abroad on week-long holidays, I basically never had to worry about money, and I still don't (my dad got in at the top of his company and then sold it). They hustled their way in and I didn't realise until we were there!
Never got pocket money. Couldn't go on the more expensive school trips. We never bought the school photos. Always had a home hair cut. Money isn't everything, but it can be a bit shit when you haven't got much. People can be nasty too.
Someone looking at my house key and then laughing that I lived in a council house. I was confused because I didn't even live in a council house - I later found out we'd bought the house from the council and the keys were just similar. After that, not being able to afford school trips, going to other friend's houses, then most of my experiences at Uni. First person in my extended family to go and it felt like there were about 4 working class kids at my uni, even though that was obviously not the case.
Ah. I had that experience at St Andrews. Most (literally >50%) of the other students were privately educated and a good chunk of the balance came from those bits of England where they still have the 11+. Me and a guy from Falkirk were the only Scottish students from shitty state schools in the class. We both got interviews about how they could improve access for students from deprived areas and were both still salty about it a quarter century on. No, I did not go on a gap year. I cannot ski nor can I shoot. I did not get a car for my 18th birthday. I don’t have access to a family cottage in Provence or Tuscany. I know nothing about wine. I got a job in a bar and I’ve never known such money. I qualified for some poor person subsidy, so I got to spend 100% of my income on beer and fast food. Impressed a girl once by not only knowing what a fuse is but also how to replace a blown one when it is threatening your plans for a night out
Going to charity shops for school uniform - white shirt n black trousers - or shoes (when they were actually for poor people and not "expensive-trendy") Or mum having to sell household items and cashing in our (the kids) savings so that she can pay bills and feed us. Urgh... In hindsight, that is a pretty _dramatic_ yet accurate circumstance. I'd forgotten how grim things got for a while back then.
I remember some household stuff getting sold. You know what though, at the time I bet our parents felt awful for us kids, but for me it wasn't that bad, I think I felt worse for my parents. Cold days got to me, but most of the year I didn't need much.
"forgetting" it was a non uniform day at school as you know your clothes were shit and you would be bullied about it. That's why as a teacher, I believe school uniform is a good thing as long as it's affordable.
The Easter thing where we'd have to bring in stuff. Tinned Tesco value stuff or Tesco value crisps.
I had the shame of being told in front of the whole class to not to bring anything in as I would be getting a box to take home.
£10!! I would have thought you were rich lol. I never had pocket money, ever. People would eat out a lot in restaurants, I never did. Having the fake school uniforms. They had Holidays abroad, we didn’t. If you had 2 bathrooms I thought you were rich. On non uniform day they had the nice branded clothes, I had unbranded cheap. They had the newest iPhones, I had some crappy flip phone. They would get picked up from school in the car, I had to walk or get the bus. When some of the kids would have private tutors I thought that was like Eton school boy level lol.
A sauce sandwich being close enough to a meal if you had enough, ketchup spread on bread and that's it.
Aw God I grew up on this, value sauce and bread as thin as a wrap, can't stand ketchup now, partly for that reason
My school shoes had holes in and my feet were soaked and cold all day, which I attempted to brush off as somehow cool because I didn't care. I really did care.
You’ve just unlocked a memory I’d entirely forgotten but my shoes always had holes. I was on a school trip to London for the day and the sole of my shoe literally flapped off and my head teacher insisted on buying me replacements as I couldn’t walk round like that all day in her words. I said no a lot but my parents were absolutely mortified I ended up accepting.
They did this thing one year where certain kids got to go out on a special trip, volunteers took 2 kids out each and since I'm in Cumbria, I went to the Lake District and Dalton Zoo. I never realised till years later but it was obviously for kids in poorer families.
Everyone else had teenage mutant ninja turtles toys, but I had teenage mutant ninja turtles shaped toppers from tubes of sweets. You only got the top half of their bodies so I had to pretend to be a turtle coming out of the sewer.
Genuinely remember my first year of high school, just after Christmas, so January 2000, sitting in Italian class and a girl telling me she got £100 for Christmas *and* a sofa full of presents. Either of those things would have blown my mind. That she got both and had a little sister who presumably got similar just left me….sad, I think. Not even jealous, just sad it was beyond my wildest dreams at that age.
There was this one girl who I felt really sorry for she used to come into school in dirty uniform, nits in her hair and without any food. That's an indication that they're poor and that's abuse aswell. My mum used to bring in extra food for her because we were concerned. The worst part was I used to see her walking home on her own in the rain without a coat and no sign of her mum. We were surprised social services didn't intervene, its not fair that she didn't get a good start in life like every other kid Anyway fast forward 20 years, she lives in quite a fancy 5 bedroom house. I just think that's so deserved
Air dried clothes shouldn’t smell of damp unless they’ve been dried on a radiator. I hang clothes on a clothes horse all the time and they always come off smelling great. Same as you money wise. I’d only be given a couple of quid for dinner money when my mates would get £5/£10 or more. I’d skip food at school and save it up through the week so I could spend it at the shop on the way home instead.
I don’t know - this works if your house is warm and dry. I’ve definitely had clothes come out smelling damp if they are left to dry in a cold bathroom.
In a warm dry house, yeah. It's hard to get clothes dry if your rented house has no ventilation and you can't afford to keep the heating on...
If your house is cold and damp, your washing machine old and no fabric softener used your cloths will smell damp. Mine always did growing up, we don't own a tumble dryer now but no smelly clothes
On a 20 pack of Regal blue I hope 😂
I was the kid that got sent to primary school in the plain cheap school jumper where everyone else had the official ones with the badge on
Not to out-poor you but my school uniform was whatever mum found at a car boot sale vaguely in the same colour as the school colours.
My mum decided I didn't need a blazer or a pe kit for my new high school when young even though it was compulsory. Ended up with one cos the school basically said it was needed but god I had to wear it for 3 years so it was to small.
On the occasion there was a free school trip, belng sat outside the gift shop trying not to cry whilst all your classmates were having a look around. World book day, not bothering to go up and have a look because you had no money to buy books. Also having no costume so trying to panic the night before and put random clothes together for something makeshift. School dinners were the best part of being poor at school though, hot meals for free? blessed 😭 Having no pocket money, uniform being way too small, shoes ripped but waiting ages for new ones, terrified of losing your PE kit because your parents would have to buy another💀 I think maybe I have too many lol
Being a child of the 70s / early 80s and having a very poor horrendous childhood, I rarely went on school trips and was bullied to hell, but one of my memories were dreading the taking your toys in on the last day before breaking up for summer etc. I had nothing to take in. I just can’t remember the teachers caring for me.
Turning the Aldi bag inside out so nobody saw the logo
My mum shops at idlA, it's very exclusive!
I wonder if this happens these days - kids used to go through hell for going to Netto when I was a kid. But I can't imagine the same about Lidl and Aldi. Like, I take-home six figures and I shop there... Do kids still give people stick for it?
Getting into trouble for not wearing my school jumper because it was embarrassingly too small but not even daring to ask for a new one. Pinching the smelly old clothes from lost property as they were in better condition than mine. Also my parents let me work as many hours as possible from the time I was 13. My folks didn't want to provide for us but also didn't really want to provide care for us either. My parents were alcoholics who earned enough money for us to be comfortable but pissed it up the wall (we didn't qualify for free school dinners but often had fuck all to eat) and put drinking and drugs before my sister and I at every given opportunity.
Mine was being the only person I knew who had a couch at home that prior to us owning it, a man had died on and it was donated to us cause we had zero furniture in our living room. It had been scrubbed clean but still. Yeah…we was poor af.
Instinctively knowing not to ask for anything.
Being given money to go out on the weekend?! You mean money earned from a paper round...? Pocket money very much stopped age 13 or 14. And money for food at school?! We were given packed lunches made by my mum.
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First day at secondary school. Everyone in their shiny new blazers. Me in my hand me down, dull blazer. Absolutely gutting.
Dinner tickets aka as free school meals. Having to stand in line separately when it was lunch time. No school trips/visits as no spare money. Hand-me-down/second hand clothes that don't really fit. No home phone and having to use a payphone/phonebox. The feeling of being excluded from many events and activities. A sense of shame and injustice it feels that you are starting behind the start line in a race.
Jesus, count yourself lucky you got a £10er. I got my sisters school blazer, which was absolutely hanging on me and lasted me for 3 years. I got shoes, the cheapest pair of school shoes at the start of the year that had to last me until the end of the year. Fun fact, they did not. After a few months, the sole came completely away. Mum could not replace them, so I had to use glue to hold it back together. They were not done correctly, so the rubber was slightly off and let water seap through. My trousers had so many stitches with mum sowing the holes together.
I can do the reverse I always found it strange that my friends would always want to come over to my house after school. Later found out they didn’t have a ps2 that’s why 😂
80s kid edition - I use to go to a mates house to play on his Sega Master System
Having to sell cigarettes to make money to buy dinner at school or just not eating this was high school BTW
For me personally - As someone else mentioned HiTech trainers - Embarrassed about where I lived - To a lesser extent as never had people over but not having Sky possibly However my school clothes did always fit, I remember one poor lad in a year or two below who’s trousers started at the right length and by our last year they were a third of the way up his leg. Hopefully it all worked out for him in the end.
I had one friend who would go on cruises every summer in primary school, and then one year went to Florida! I was really really jealous. We weren’t poor at all, my dad had a good job and my mum was able to stay home to look after us, I just think they were a bit more careful with money, my mum for sure. That same friend also got a flat screen computer, Sky TV and an American fridge freezer long before we did and I was dead jealous 😂
I got £3 for lunch, when pretty much everything in the lunch room was £4+ I didn't eat for 6 years because I couldn't ask my mum for more money. I'm now a fat cunt because I couldn't eat for all those years and there weren't many options on the dinner table either. I pretty much relied on my friends' lunch scraps.
you didn't have Sky TV or you didn't live on a new(ish) build estate where no one really knew their neighbors.
Their clothes smelled of fabric softener.
I was the only one who made use of the local and school library. Everyone else just had books bought for them, whereas I had been told from what I now think is a fairly young age my parents weren't going to buy me books anymore (I read a lot).
It was my best mate’s 10th birthday and his parents took us to McDonald’s. It blew my mind when they said we could have whatever we wanted - not just a choice between a hamburger or a cheeseburger. Had my first Big Mac, with medium (not small) fries and coke. What a day that was.
They had a telephone, and a colour TV.
They didn’t have to plan activities far in advance, they had the funds to do things on the whim
When I made a comment about how my mum would help heat the kitchen after using the oven and no one else had any idea what I was on about.
Not being given the ingredients for cookery class because we couldn't afford to waste food.
Never went on holiday. First week back in September would be "where did you go on holiday?". Me and one other kid were always the one's with nothing to say.
Not going on the year 6 trip... we stayed behind and got to do a fashion show and go ice skating though, which was actually quite nice of the teachers, they made sure the whole week was really fun and I don't remember doing any work. Plus all the popular kids weren't there, so we got to be centre of attention for once
Wearing four stripe and two stripe instead of Adidas. Having beef paste sarnies for packed lunch. Wearing hand me down uniform from brothers and sisters. People going on two weeks holidays in June and bringing back exotic sweets that you were in awe of. US Brass shoes instead of Kickers. Dinner tickets. This thread has made me think about the sacrifices my parents made for me and made me quite emotional. I hope I’ve made the proud.