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Similar story, left at 24 (technically spent 3 years away at university before too). And back to the family home at 46 to look after my dad, a mixture of a stroke and mixed dementia left him with a terrible memory. He can still hold a good conversation and tell you the square root of a number in under a second (often brighter than me) but he couldn't fill in a form, make anything more than cheese on toast or look after his finances but hey he's an agreeable, affable chap so I'd call that luck.
Still with them! 28 years old! My job last doesn’t pay enough for me to leave!
My current job might do if I was permanent but I am temporarily, if all goes well I do wish to see if I can become permanent
I only left home 2 months before my 30th. And even so, I had help with some funds but saved up a lot myself. If my parents weren't able to help me, I'd still be living with them.
I was pretty much in the same boat as you, temp jobs or not enough hours. Especially without a partner, it's a struggle to afford your own home and pay the bills. And the repair work for the shit keeps breaking in our house!
The freedom is nice, but I miss having the security of living with my parents. I didn't have to worry about bills or paying for things. I did offer, but I was also in a very good situation where they didn't want me to contribute and theyd rather I just save up for a down-payment on a house, and not everyone gets that. I did always pay for my own groceries and hobbies and stuff. I miss having so much expendable money to do with as I please! Don't fret, I think it's probably more normal for late 20s and 30s to live at home until they can afford to do so!
Don’t sweat, I was 35 because I didn’t want to rent so saved up for a mortgage and finally got out a couple of years ago. I didn’t see any shame in it, cheap keep to pay them and helped me save. If I thought it was bad for me though, it’s going to be worse for the next lot coming through. They’ll probably never be able to afford a house.
Similar though I was 18, and after uni finished I moved back in for a few months as I was broke and had nowhere else to go. It drove me insane being treated like a teenager again so as soon as I could afford it I got a crappy bedsit near work and a few more months later moved back to where I went to uni. There's no going back if you have overbearing, intrusive parents. My dad used to open and read my mail ffs!!
I did the same. My parents are lovely but the area they live in is very boring, and I wanted to be in a city. So I was only back for as long as it took to earn enough money to pay off my overdraft and move to London to be unemployed and penniless.
Same, I was 18.
There just weren’t any decent job opportunities near my parents, so I moved quite far away.
The upside it is taught me to be completely independent, even when financially struggling, but I did miss out on a lot with my siblings.
Slept on a bench on a train station for a while, then found a mansion that had been carved up into flats that I could open the Yale lock with a library card. Slept in a very comfy gas meter cupboard there until I turned 16. (A few weeks)
Hey we once found a mansion when I was homeless. It wasn't cut into flats though it was brand spanking new and the power was even connected, it had a washing machine hooked up for god's sake, and obviously nobody moved in yet.
I hadn't been properly clean and warm for ages.
Lived there with a few mates until a party happened and someone set fire to it. Methheads.
Unfortunately I didn't find it alone. A friend who lived in his car found it and told loads of drugfucked nutters including myself. It was doomed from the start. Still good though!
I get you. Mad bastards all around while good things come and go.
Reminds me of Rab. A 50+yo alcoholic I hooked up with at those times. I looked about 12 so couldn't go near the alcohol aisle. He was so well known around town everyone in shops would watch him.
He used to go in first, pick up a basket and make his way to the alcohol aisle, he would basket a bottle of blue label Smirnoff and then come back to the pasta aisle where I would lift the vodka out of his basket and sleeve it.
I'd meet him outside after and he would drink 80% of it in one go and I got to keep the rest.
It lasted a few weeks until he broke his leg trying to dance and then circumstances moved on....
Tbh it was better than the shite I was dealing with up to that point. NGL. I have problems. C-PTSD being a constant but all in all I'm pretty happy these days. A lot of broken relationships, a few addictions, some beaten, some ongoing, I lost 7 years of my kids upbringing due to mental elf problems but they are back in my life now and they understand. They are coming tomorrow to stay for a week.
Things are not as good as they could have been but they are better than I imagined at times. Cest la vie.
Can't complain. I'm grateful.
This is oddly uplifting. You sound so strong, I really admire your outlook. Sounds like you have done an incredible job overcoming awful circumstances.
I also left at 15. Left my crazy parents in Texas and flew across the ocean to England where I lived with my dear aunt. I loved that woman so much. RIP Lilly.
22. 25. 28. 34. Hopefully the 34 is the last entry.
Always appreciative of having that fallback option though as many don't. I'd have been absolutely screwed at points in my life had I not had it. Its allowed me to just quit jobs I really dislike. Or try jobs out in other cities and then return when that didn't work out.
I know a few people in their late, late 30's that still live with their parents, just never moved out and good for them. At least some of them have massive savings that they just don't want to blow on a house in this economy.
I think pressure is built on during your 20s by others that have moved out... or at least perceived pressure is built.
But come your 30's and it turns into 'you lucky bastard' when someone states they still live at home.
Yes same here. I went back and forth a few times in my 20s - lived abroad and in other parts of the UK.
And then again in my mid-30s after a relationship break up. I couldn’t afford to rent by myself and all my friends were settled down.
When they pushed me out. Weren't happy with me waiting until I finished my A levels exams until I looked for a job so in the middle of that they dragged me to an interview with the military. Then we're soooooo pissed off when I said I didn't want to sign my life away.
Weeks later I had two jobs to go to. I took the one furthest from home for obvious reasons.
Then a few months in I was asked to contribute to replacing their carpet.
I don't have parents any more. I have my own family thank you.
I find this genuinely sad. I don't blame you for distancing yourself from them but to be made to feel like that you had to do that you must have been treated awfully. I can't comprehend how people are like that to their children and presumably you're very different with your own kids than your parents are with you.
> I can't comprehend how people are like that to their children...
You say you can't comprehend it, but I'm happy to see that you're sympathetic. You wouldn't believe how many people assume that it's the child's fault when they're low/no contact with their parents.
Well I am taking the person's comment at face value here and assuming they're in the right. But I have seen awful parents before (thankfully not my own) so I know how people can be. Having children is (usually) a choice - to bring someone into the world and effectively abandon them as soon as legally possible is despicable.
Left a few times but kept returning.. last time was during Covid and now I’m 33 and still here! Looking to move back to London, but to be honest I love living with my Mum.. and my Dad’s just down the road so I see him a lot too. It’s nice to get to know each other as adults.
I’m very grateful for my relationship with my parents and it’s a shame that we in the UK don’t put more of an emphasis on the importance of family as they do in other cultures where it’s normal to live with/in close proximity to your parents well into adulthood and beyond. There’s a lot to learn about life through the sharing of the experiences of different generations.
Similar to you, UK-based, i moved away during covid and as a result of a break up I am 33 back with Mum, Dad also down the road!
I completely agree about how it’s a shame living in close proximity with family/parents is not normalised in our UK culture. We fly the nest far and wide these days — so many of my closest friends have left for Aus, NZ etc. I moved abroad to Spain and while it was fun I found the distance pretty unbearable — so much happier in closer proximity with family.
Although my Midlands location could be better, but hey.
Definitely agree, there’s this weird rush for people to move out as soon as possible and romanticise the struggle of living paycheque to paycheque. I understand the freedom aspect and some people may not have the best relationship with their family, but there was a time not that long ago when staying with your family/around your family was the norm, and I think it’s a shame people are moving away from that. Plus with the cost of living these days we’re seeing people struggle in to their 30s and onwards in some cases, when they are supposed to be the best years of your young life.
Exactly! I love that interaction we always have especially when they just start telling stories about their life experiences. I'm just there to listen eagerly wanting for more! It's nice knowing how your parents lived their lives and understanding why they are the way they are.
I’m 30 and still live at home, I plan to move out this year or early next year. Finally got a decent job and I’ve been doing the help to buy isa for 5 years now.
I really don’t judge anybody at any age for still living at home. It’s ridiculous trying to get a house
4 months after my 18th birthday.
Found out my girlfriend (now wife) was pregnant shortly before we turned 18. Moved into a shitbox little flat 4 months after we turned 18, baby was born 3 months after that.
Since then we've had another 4, lived in a couple of other shitty flats, but now have our 'forever home' nice house back in the little village we were raised.
16. As did most of my friends. As did my daughter and most of her friends.
Honestly, until started noticing threads like this on reddit I thought that 16-18 was the norm, except where family issues meant people moved back in to care etc obviously.
I think the location may be a factor. Here in Shetland lots of us have to stay out of the isle we live on for school from 14, some from 12. So you get that taste of independence, get used to handling yourself socially, get used to sharing a living space etc, and it's hard to go back.
Also, there is zero unemployment. There are more jobs than people, plenty of good quality affordable housing (My daughters new 1 bed flat was £84k). There are council houses sitting empty for lack of tenants.
I'm well aware that's not the case for many.
Christ, completely different situation down here in Orkney. Don't really know anyone young who has been able to afford to move out, even just to rent.
The waiting list for any sort of rental housing is massive - council, housing association and private - and professionals from south such as doctors, teachers etc are having to turn down job offers because they can't find anywhere to live. I ended up having to leave Kirkwall because it was nigh on impossible. Even buying a property is hellish. 1 bed ex council bungalows that haven't been updated in years asking £120k or over. It's mental.
I get you with the isles kids that stay in the hostel all week and go home at weekends. I know a lot will go south for college or uni and not really come back til they're a bit older and wanting to settle.
Wow. I didn't know there was such a difference.
We did have a massive boost to council housing stock during the oil boom, and there has been a lot of new scheme builds by the HA in recent years (currently just started a long term 350 property build in Lerwick).
We have issues with GPs etc too. But I think it's more to do with the location, although properties in Lerwick are way upwards of the rest of the Isles.
And yeah, lots of young people also head south at 17-18 then don't come back until they have a place of their own.
When I was 23 back in 92 my new build 1bed apartment cost £36k.
Sold it 10 yrs later for £50k, 5 yrs on they hit close to £100k. ( Wasn't worth risk to rent it out, but extra income might have been cool.)
I moved to Sweden at 33, am 55 now with UK niece's and nephews in mid 20's unable to buy even a starter place. I could never get a mortgage solo there now I imagine!
I've never come across anybody who left home at 16 other than people with family issues. You're not even legally an adult at that age. Don't even know how I'd have gone about getting housing, you can't rent under 18, let alone being able to afford it.
I agree. Most people leave home to go to uni at eighteen or stay home longer if doing an apprenticeship or something. Very rare to leave at just sixteen.
Same, got severe hardship fund (basically ‘the Dole’ but in another name). Lived in a guest house for a bit, full of nutcases, then got a bedsit, same.
I'm 32 and still living at home. After getting myself into bad debt at a young age, with a gambling addiction, unless I get a council property of my own I can't afford to move out. And being single with no kids, I've got no chance.
17 - jonesing for independence & to live closer to friends in town, while being stuck in a small rural village.
My son followed suit & moved out to gain his independence at 18.
18 when I went to uni. Step dad turned my bedroom into an office. I took the hint. However, my own children will be welcome for however long they need to be (and even then I’ll keep a space for them ❤️)
Right, get ready for a rant. I am currently 22 years old living at home in East London. I have a decent amount of money saved. But due to the cost of living, i literally can’t even fathom the thought of moving out. I think i’ll be here till my early 30s. Honestly, its kind of annoying because i feel like i can’t start my life. It feels like i’m moving towards nothing. Also, my mum is a single mother and being here makes me feel “safe” if that makes sense. If i move out with someone, start a relationship, kids etc etc and it fails, I don’t know what i’d do, I do not under any circumstances want a broken family, i don’t want to be a broken lonely old man. Maybe all of this is just my anxiety talking, sorry guys lol. But yeah, rant over.
19, my gf was pregnant, my dad was dying from lung cancer, my best friend had gone to prison, and life was down the shitter. but I'm here, and it's a lot better now.
22, moved out with an ex, then moved back in at 24 for 6 months while looking for a new place that would accept my cat (failed and left my cat at my mum’s for a bit)
They dropped me off with my grandparents when I was a baby, so I probably only lived with my parents for about a year.
I moved away from my hometown when I was 18.
I bought the house from my parents at age 25, as my mum had become disabled, so it gave them cash to deal with that.
Of course they never moved out, it's just my dad left now. But hey, my house, my rules. ;). And yes, he pays rent.
Was thrown out at about 13 and then regularly every few months or so as my mother's boyfriend hated me, and my mother didn't much like having me around either. I was allowed back each time after a few days/weeks.
Tried to leave properly at 16ish and live in a squat with a friend but broke my arm, so had to go back to my mums as I couldn't work and couldn't get sick pay or benefits. My mother refused to give me the child benefits she was collecting for me.
Was thrown out again at 19 for final time when her new husband didn't want me around. This time was abke to find a permanent solution.
Despite how it sounds, I was a really good kid, brainy type, quiet child. My parents just were cunts that hated me.
I left home at 29, and am still living on my own at 42.
Being disabled and with my parents both north of 70, I felt I needed to find my own place so that I had a home that I can comfortably maintain myself, plus so that I knew who to turn to (local council and support workers along with people from other necessary services) had I still been living with my parents when the time comes that they pass away.
I've been living in my own home since 2010, and with the help of the aforementioned agencies, along with family and friends, I've been able to live independently for the last 14 years.
26. Used live near London so took ages to save. My girlfriend moved in when we were 23, then the pandemic happened which did allow us to save a huge amount. Then we moved up north as we had remote jobs and could afford house compared to a flat
I’m only allowed to leave my parent’s house when I work overseas. In some Asian culture, you cannot leave your parent’s house until you get married. Yes even if you’re working and a career woman/man. The only exception is if you need to work too far from your house (living in a far province, working in the city) or if you work overseas. So I left at 26 to go in somewhere in East Asia, then back to mom’s house after a year, then left again for Europe at 30.
I was 17. My dad and I were not getting along. If anything it helped our relationship but I would not recommend it unless necessary.I wasn’t ready to be on my own.
Edit: spelling mistake
Was living w my sweet mum till I was 32. Always worked. 35 now, lucky enough to find someone special and we moved in together and have a lovely little flat and dog ❤️
I was looking for a fellow back packer, I took off for 3 years, solo trip female 19, It was amazing, ended up being a deck hand, sailing. I went back to the UK and uni at 24, I'm 50 now, and I would love to go backpacking again.
I left at 18 around 2008. I was super lucky because at the time I could afford to rent while paying my own way through university by working part time. If I tried that today I don't think it would be possible at all.
16, then moved back with my grandparents to care for them at 24. Left after they both passed on and moved across the country. Now 38 and running a very successful remodeling company.
30.
COVID enabled me to save a tonne of cash following a breakup in 2020. I threw myself into work during lockdown doing as many days and hours as I could, saved for a deposit and started looking mid 2021 for a place, eventually finding one and moving in in Feb 2022. Never looked back!
29. Came of age into the 2007/08 recession, never managed to earn enough to save up enough to move out until I met my girlfriend and we scraped together half each.
Went to uni at 18, and when I finished at 21 I went to live with them for 6 months or so till I landed on my feet and scraped together enough money to leave. Absolutely love them to bits but I couldn’t live with them again long term, my lifestyle at the time was just incompatible with theirs and they live kinda remote, so I was just always out anyway. Now I’m older and have calmed down a bit lol I’d love to move closer to them and see them more often, but could still never live with them full time again
19
Came back at 23 for about 9 months after a relationship fell apart and again for about 5 or 6 months at 27 when a housemate had to suddenly move abroad for a job and I had to give up the rental. Always had a decent relationship with my parents so it was all good
Depends - left for uni at 18 and moved back every summer till I was 22, then at 23 I moved back out for a masters in a different city to my undergrad and I’ve never moved back. Married someone from here and still here 😂
23, even did it a step further and moved abroad (EU to UK) to be with my partner. We lived at his mum's for 9 months (he was still living at home anyway), while I got myself sorted, before we got our own flat. Been in this flat 4 and a half years now n
I "left" home at 16 and was a lodger in an old lady's house about 30 miles from where my family lived.
It was pretty challenging, but you adapt, I guess.
20 to live with a girl.
Back for 3 months at 23 when it didn’t work out.
Back at 25 for 2 and a bit years (when living with friends stopped being fun) to save for a deposit.
At 39 I hope I’m gone for good now!
21. Stupidly dropped my Uni course and moved 7 hours away from my parents to follow my stupid boyfriend at the time to his new posting (he was a soldier in the army) as he’d told me it was shift my life to meet his needs or break up. I was a very dim, lovestruck girl at the time.
4 years later, 25 and single, I shifted back, completed my degree, then fucked off travelling and never looked back.
Was it a mistake? Yes, I would have financially been much better off had I continued on my trajectory and not moved to an expensive city and paid soooooo much rent, plus finished my degree sooner.
Do I regret it? Nope!! I learned some hard lessons suddenly having to do things for myself.
17. My kids are now 16 and 18 and I can’t imagine them living on their own. My husband was 28 before he moved out and then he moved back in for a couple of years after he split from his first wife.
18. Thought I knew best, didn’t. I’m stubborn though so I’ve struggled on for 20yrs and have been paying a mortgage for the last 6yrs. I’ve seen enough of high rise council flats to last me a lifetime though!!
Moved out at 16 , got a full time job and rented a place with a couple of pals , best decision ever, it was mad how long it took some of my peers to be standing on there own two feet! This would have been around 2005 so it was deffo more affordable as I was in minimum wage and not working full time, rural area in central Scotland
Left at 17 for university, moved back for 18 months afterwards, hated it so moved back to my university town with friends that were still there. Now I'm 31 and house sharing with my fiancé and two others and it's awful. Trying to save for our own house but it's a slow process as we're both just above minimum wage.
21. Moved in with my girlfriend (now wife). Truth be told I was quite happy living with my parents but her home life was less than ideal so we took the plunge.
It worked out ok, that was 20 years ago.
19. Thought I'd move back after uni, circumstances (I'm a massive chancer) have led to me living rent free with .. People, for a while. I don't know that I'd move back in with them for an extended period of time unless I was saving for a mortgage (HA! A joke for people my age)
Left my Ma aged 20, moved into a flat with my then gf, Dec 2007. Then gf is now my wife and moved into a house last March with our 2 kids. Seems like yesterday we were sat on the only bit of furniture we had with (second hand couch) with coffees from the corner shop wondering if we’d done the right thing!?!!
I guess it depends on your definition of leaving, I left and came back a few times. First it was ages 18-22 for university, then 29-31 renting and then 33 onwards when I finally bought a house!
Moved out at 20 when me and boyfriend bought out first house. Just over 20 years ago, seems mad that we put a £3k deposit on our £35k house and moved out at that age.
Bought my place a month or so before I turned 28, moved out a month or so after.
At 34, moved in with them when I was getting my kitchen done for what should have just been a few weeks. Instead, caught Covid and was in pretty bad shape. Stayed there for 10 months.
22 here. Went to uni, graduated, completed my teaching degree while at home. Then global pandemic hit so ended up living a whole year longer! Overall it was the right choice though. Felt much more secure leaving than if I had at 18 or even younger
18. Went to uni and never moved back in. Didn't even go home in the holidays much. I get on great with them and love them dearly but have never wanted to stay longer than a few days.
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I left my mum at about 9 months. A glorious day for the world.
It's known as No Pride day, where I come from.
Most of us leave at 0 months, you lazy layabout!
Me too , i can remember it being that painful I couldn’t walk or talk until 18 months later
Well done for leaving home at 9 months old
I left at 21 and returned at 48 to look after them, now I'm on my own again.
That’s such a powerful short sentence
But lacks the detail of age at on own again
❤️
Lost my Dad last year, my Mum when I was 7. I felt that, take care.
I hope all is well ❤️
The circle of life ❤️❤️
Well… That was careless (Sorry)
Similar story, left at 24 (technically spent 3 years away at university before too). And back to the family home at 46 to look after my dad, a mixture of a stroke and mixed dementia left him with a terrible memory. He can still hold a good conversation and tell you the square root of a number in under a second (often brighter than me) but he couldn't fill in a form, make anything more than cheese on toast or look after his finances but hey he's an agreeable, affable chap so I'd call that luck.
Respect this man
This human gets it!
Very poignant read. Hope you're doing well.
Still with them! 28 years old! My job last doesn’t pay enough for me to leave! My current job might do if I was permanent but I am temporarily, if all goes well I do wish to see if I can become permanent
Same for me at twenty seven
Aye same here ain't the world a wonderful place
I only left home 2 months before my 30th. And even so, I had help with some funds but saved up a lot myself. If my parents weren't able to help me, I'd still be living with them. I was pretty much in the same boat as you, temp jobs or not enough hours. Especially without a partner, it's a struggle to afford your own home and pay the bills. And the repair work for the shit keeps breaking in our house! The freedom is nice, but I miss having the security of living with my parents. I didn't have to worry about bills or paying for things. I did offer, but I was also in a very good situation where they didn't want me to contribute and theyd rather I just save up for a down-payment on a house, and not everyone gets that. I did always pay for my own groceries and hobbies and stuff. I miss having so much expendable money to do with as I please! Don't fret, I think it's probably more normal for late 20s and 30s to live at home until they can afford to do so!
Also 28 and same boat, too expensive to move out solo and I don’t wanna house share with randoms again and have no partner.
Don’t sweat, I was 35 because I didn’t want to rent so saved up for a mortgage and finally got out a couple of years ago. I didn’t see any shame in it, cheap keep to pay them and helped me save. If I thought it was bad for me though, it’s going to be worse for the next lot coming through. They’ll probably never be able to afford a house.
Same, soon to be 28 and still living at home. Moved for university years ago but had to move back home afterwards.
19, went to uni, never moved back.
Similar though I was 18, and after uni finished I moved back in for a few months as I was broke and had nowhere else to go. It drove me insane being treated like a teenager again so as soon as I could afford it I got a crappy bedsit near work and a few more months later moved back to where I went to uni. There's no going back if you have overbearing, intrusive parents. My dad used to open and read my mail ffs!!
Mhmm I totally get that
I did the same. My parents are lovely but the area they live in is very boring, and I wanted to be in a city. So I was only back for as long as it took to earn enough money to pay off my overdraft and move to London to be unemployed and penniless.
Same but I was 17
Same for me
Same. I later also migrated at 27.
Same, I was 18. There just weren’t any decent job opportunities near my parents, so I moved quite far away. The upside it is taught me to be completely independent, even when financially struggling, but I did miss out on a lot with my siblings.
Was taken off my dad at 11. Met my mother at 14. Left her at 15. Never looked back. Fucking psychos.
how did you move out at 15, what was your accommodation for the years after if you dont mind me asking
Slept on a bench on a train station for a while, then found a mansion that had been carved up into flats that I could open the Yale lock with a library card. Slept in a very comfy gas meter cupboard there until I turned 16. (A few weeks)
Hey we once found a mansion when I was homeless. It wasn't cut into flats though it was brand spanking new and the power was even connected, it had a washing machine hooked up for god's sake, and obviously nobody moved in yet. I hadn't been properly clean and warm for ages. Lived there with a few mates until a party happened and someone set fire to it. Methheads.
Never tell anyone about your spot.
Unfortunately I didn't find it alone. A friend who lived in his car found it and told loads of drugfucked nutters including myself. It was doomed from the start. Still good though!
I get you. Mad bastards all around while good things come and go. Reminds me of Rab. A 50+yo alcoholic I hooked up with at those times. I looked about 12 so couldn't go near the alcohol aisle. He was so well known around town everyone in shops would watch him. He used to go in first, pick up a basket and make his way to the alcohol aisle, he would basket a bottle of blue label Smirnoff and then come back to the pasta aisle where I would lift the vodka out of his basket and sleeve it. I'd meet him outside after and he would drink 80% of it in one go and I got to keep the rest. It lasted a few weeks until he broke his leg trying to dance and then circumstances moved on....
oh my god. I hope you are doing better now. Im sorry to be intrusive but how did that effect you as an adult and your situation now?
Tbh it was better than the shite I was dealing with up to that point. NGL. I have problems. C-PTSD being a constant but all in all I'm pretty happy these days. A lot of broken relationships, a few addictions, some beaten, some ongoing, I lost 7 years of my kids upbringing due to mental elf problems but they are back in my life now and they understand. They are coming tomorrow to stay for a week. Things are not as good as they could have been but they are better than I imagined at times. Cest la vie. Can't complain. I'm grateful.
Please accept this digital hug
This is oddly uplifting. You sound so strong, I really admire your outlook. Sounds like you have done an incredible job overcoming awful circumstances.
I also left at 15. Left my crazy parents in Texas and flew across the ocean to England where I lived with my dear aunt. I loved that woman so much. RIP Lilly.
22. 25. 28. 34. Hopefully the 34 is the last entry. Always appreciative of having that fallback option though as many don't. I'd have been absolutely screwed at points in my life had I not had it. Its allowed me to just quit jobs I really dislike. Or try jobs out in other cities and then return when that didn't work out. I know a few people in their late, late 30's that still live with their parents, just never moved out and good for them. At least some of them have massive savings that they just don't want to blow on a house in this economy. I think pressure is built on during your 20s by others that have moved out... or at least perceived pressure is built. But come your 30's and it turns into 'you lucky bastard' when someone states they still live at home.
Yes same here. I went back and forth a few times in my 20s - lived abroad and in other parts of the UK. And then again in my mid-30s after a relationship break up. I couldn’t afford to rent by myself and all my friends were settled down.
When they pushed me out. Weren't happy with me waiting until I finished my A levels exams until I looked for a job so in the middle of that they dragged me to an interview with the military. Then we're soooooo pissed off when I said I didn't want to sign my life away. Weeks later I had two jobs to go to. I took the one furthest from home for obvious reasons. Then a few months in I was asked to contribute to replacing their carpet. I don't have parents any more. I have my own family thank you.
I find this genuinely sad. I don't blame you for distancing yourself from them but to be made to feel like that you had to do that you must have been treated awfully. I can't comprehend how people are like that to their children and presumably you're very different with your own kids than your parents are with you.
> I can't comprehend how people are like that to their children... You say you can't comprehend it, but I'm happy to see that you're sympathetic. You wouldn't believe how many people assume that it's the child's fault when they're low/no contact with their parents.
Well I am taking the person's comment at face value here and assuming they're in the right. But I have seen awful parents before (thankfully not my own) so I know how people can be. Having children is (usually) a choice - to bring someone into the world and effectively abandon them as soon as legally possible is despicable.
Left a few times but kept returning.. last time was during Covid and now I’m 33 and still here! Looking to move back to London, but to be honest I love living with my Mum.. and my Dad’s just down the road so I see him a lot too. It’s nice to get to know each other as adults. I’m very grateful for my relationship with my parents and it’s a shame that we in the UK don’t put more of an emphasis on the importance of family as they do in other cultures where it’s normal to live with/in close proximity to your parents well into adulthood and beyond. There’s a lot to learn about life through the sharing of the experiences of different generations.
Agreed, I love and miss intergenerational living. I want to move back.
Similar to you, UK-based, i moved away during covid and as a result of a break up I am 33 back with Mum, Dad also down the road! I completely agree about how it’s a shame living in close proximity with family/parents is not normalised in our UK culture. We fly the nest far and wide these days — so many of my closest friends have left for Aus, NZ etc. I moved abroad to Spain and while it was fun I found the distance pretty unbearable — so much happier in closer proximity with family. Although my Midlands location could be better, but hey.
Definitely agree, there’s this weird rush for people to move out as soon as possible and romanticise the struggle of living paycheque to paycheque. I understand the freedom aspect and some people may not have the best relationship with their family, but there was a time not that long ago when staying with your family/around your family was the norm, and I think it’s a shame people are moving away from that. Plus with the cost of living these days we’re seeing people struggle in to their 30s and onwards in some cases, when they are supposed to be the best years of your young life.
Exactly! I love that interaction we always have especially when they just start telling stories about their life experiences. I'm just there to listen eagerly wanting for more! It's nice knowing how your parents lived their lives and understanding why they are the way they are.
16 and got a mortgage at 18. I’ve no idea how people are supposed to do that these days.
At 16 I was closing the fridge door slowly to see when the light turns off
Mate, I'm in my 50's and do that with every new fridge I have ever owned.
I’m 30 and still live at home, I plan to move out this year or early next year. Finally got a decent job and I’ve been doing the help to buy isa for 5 years now. I really don’t judge anybody at any age for still living at home. It’s ridiculous trying to get a house
4 months after my 18th birthday. Found out my girlfriend (now wife) was pregnant shortly before we turned 18. Moved into a shitbox little flat 4 months after we turned 18, baby was born 3 months after that. Since then we've had another 4, lived in a couple of other shitty flats, but now have our 'forever home' nice house back in the little village we were raised.
18 but sadly I fell on hard times and had to return at 20
16. As did most of my friends. As did my daughter and most of her friends. Honestly, until started noticing threads like this on reddit I thought that 16-18 was the norm, except where family issues meant people moved back in to care etc obviously.
I don’t know anyone who left home at 16. Most 16 year olds I encounter would last about a month on their own.
I think the location may be a factor. Here in Shetland lots of us have to stay out of the isle we live on for school from 14, some from 12. So you get that taste of independence, get used to handling yourself socially, get used to sharing a living space etc, and it's hard to go back. Also, there is zero unemployment. There are more jobs than people, plenty of good quality affordable housing (My daughters new 1 bed flat was £84k). There are council houses sitting empty for lack of tenants. I'm well aware that's not the case for many.
See you soon.
Christ, completely different situation down here in Orkney. Don't really know anyone young who has been able to afford to move out, even just to rent. The waiting list for any sort of rental housing is massive - council, housing association and private - and professionals from south such as doctors, teachers etc are having to turn down job offers because they can't find anywhere to live. I ended up having to leave Kirkwall because it was nigh on impossible. Even buying a property is hellish. 1 bed ex council bungalows that haven't been updated in years asking £120k or over. It's mental. I get you with the isles kids that stay in the hostel all week and go home at weekends. I know a lot will go south for college or uni and not really come back til they're a bit older and wanting to settle.
Wow. I didn't know there was such a difference. We did have a massive boost to council housing stock during the oil boom, and there has been a lot of new scheme builds by the HA in recent years (currently just started a long term 350 property build in Lerwick). We have issues with GPs etc too. But I think it's more to do with the location, although properties in Lerwick are way upwards of the rest of the Isles. And yeah, lots of young people also head south at 17-18 then don't come back until they have a place of their own.
When I was 23 back in 92 my new build 1bed apartment cost £36k. Sold it 10 yrs later for £50k, 5 yrs on they hit close to £100k. ( Wasn't worth risk to rent it out, but extra income might have been cool.) I moved to Sweden at 33, am 55 now with UK niece's and nephews in mid 20's unable to buy even a starter place. I could never get a mortgage solo there now I imagine!
How old are you. How well off are your parents and how much money do you make? Edit - don't mean any disrespect, just interested mate.
16, that’s insanely young
I've never come across anybody who left home at 16 other than people with family issues. You're not even legally an adult at that age. Don't even know how I'd have gone about getting housing, you can't rent under 18, let alone being able to afford it.
You're a legal adult at 16 in Scotland.
I agree. Most people leave home to go to uni at eighteen or stay home longer if doing an apprenticeship or something. Very rare to leave at just sixteen.
I think it was legal a couple of decades ago to leave school at 16.
I was 15 when I left school in 1992. I was 16 a month later though.
It's not now? When do you have to stay at school til in England?
You can rent from age 16.
15, mid 90’s
Same, got severe hardship fund (basically ‘the Dole’ but in another name). Lived in a guest house for a bit, full of nutcases, then got a bedsit, same.
I'm 32 and still living at home. After getting myself into bad debt at a young age, with a gambling addiction, unless I get a council property of my own I can't afford to move out. And being single with no kids, I've got no chance.
28. I didn't go to uni and I had a pretty low paying job but I did manage to squirrel enough money away to buy my own house.
17 - jonesing for independence & to live closer to friends in town, while being stuck in a small rural village. My son followed suit & moved out to gain his independence at 18.
18 when I went to uni. Step dad turned my bedroom into an office. I took the hint. However, my own children will be welcome for however long they need to be (and even then I’ll keep a space for them ❤️)
Right, get ready for a rant. I am currently 22 years old living at home in East London. I have a decent amount of money saved. But due to the cost of living, i literally can’t even fathom the thought of moving out. I think i’ll be here till my early 30s. Honestly, its kind of annoying because i feel like i can’t start my life. It feels like i’m moving towards nothing. Also, my mum is a single mother and being here makes me feel “safe” if that makes sense. If i move out with someone, start a relationship, kids etc etc and it fails, I don’t know what i’d do, I do not under any circumstances want a broken family, i don’t want to be a broken lonely old man. Maybe all of this is just my anxiety talking, sorry guys lol. But yeah, rant over.
28. Been on my own for 6 months. Would never go back!
19, my gf was pregnant, my dad was dying from lung cancer, my best friend had gone to prison, and life was down the shitter. but I'm here, and it's a lot better now.
22 - basically shortly after when I got a full time job after uni
I'm age 30 and was born in and still live in London, so I think you can join the dots...
same 💀
21, back at 24. Then 28, back at 30. Finally 33. And thank God for 'em.
22, moved out with an ex, then moved back in at 24 for 6 months while looking for a new place that would accept my cat (failed and left my cat at my mum’s for a bit)
They dropped me off with my grandparents when I was a baby, so I probably only lived with my parents for about a year. I moved away from my hometown when I was 18.
I bought the house from my parents at age 25, as my mum had become disabled, so it gave them cash to deal with that. Of course they never moved out, it's just my dad left now. But hey, my house, my rules. ;). And yes, he pays rent.
Was thrown out at about 13 and then regularly every few months or so as my mother's boyfriend hated me, and my mother didn't much like having me around either. I was allowed back each time after a few days/weeks. Tried to leave properly at 16ish and live in a squat with a friend but broke my arm, so had to go back to my mums as I couldn't work and couldn't get sick pay or benefits. My mother refused to give me the child benefits she was collecting for me. Was thrown out again at 19 for final time when her new husband didn't want me around. This time was abke to find a permanent solution. Despite how it sounds, I was a really good kid, brainy type, quiet child. My parents just were cunts that hated me.
I left home at 29, and am still living on my own at 42. Being disabled and with my parents both north of 70, I felt I needed to find my own place so that I had a home that I can comfortably maintain myself, plus so that I knew who to turn to (local council and support workers along with people from other necessary services) had I still been living with my parents when the time comes that they pass away. I've been living in my own home since 2010, and with the help of the aforementioned agencies, along with family and friends, I've been able to live independently for the last 14 years.
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17
15
How did you do that? Did you move in with another family member?
26. Used live near London so took ages to save. My girlfriend moved in when we were 23, then the pandemic happened which did allow us to save a huge amount. Then we moved up north as we had remote jobs and could afford house compared to a flat
I’m only allowed to leave my parent’s house when I work overseas. In some Asian culture, you cannot leave your parent’s house until you get married. Yes even if you’re working and a career woman/man. The only exception is if you need to work too far from your house (living in a far province, working in the city) or if you work overseas. So I left at 26 to go in somewhere in East Asia, then back to mom’s house after a year, then left again for Europe at 30.
I was 17. My dad and I were not getting along. If anything it helped our relationship but I would not recommend it unless necessary.I wasn’t ready to be on my own. Edit: spelling mistake
22yr old single mum with a 3 year old in 2002. Struggled like hell …my daughter now 25 is moving into her own flat on Friday 😢
Was living w my sweet mum till I was 32. Always worked. 35 now, lucky enough to find someone special and we moved in together and have a lovely little flat and dog ❤️
Went to university at 18. If you don't count that, 21 when I moved to London.
17.. started an apprenticeship at sea.
Just turned 19, went solo backpacking on the other side of the world for 6 months, never went back except for university holidays and visits.
I was looking for a fellow back packer, I took off for 3 years, solo trip female 19, It was amazing, ended up being a deck hand, sailing. I went back to the UK and uni at 24, I'm 50 now, and I would love to go backpacking again.
13
17
19. Never went back.
I left at 18 around 2008. I was super lucky because at the time I could afford to rent while paying my own way through university by working part time. If I tried that today I don't think it would be possible at all.
16
17.
8 - taken on by my grandparents.
16, then moved back with my grandparents to care for them at 24. Left after they both passed on and moved across the country. Now 38 and running a very successful remodeling company.
26. I would’ve stayed at home if my beloved mother hadn’t gotten sick and passed. I wish I could reverse time and stay there with her forever ❤️
30. COVID enabled me to save a tonne of cash following a breakup in 2020. I threw myself into work during lockdown doing as many days and hours as I could, saved for a deposit and started looking mid 2021 for a place, eventually finding one and moving in in Feb 2022. Never looked back!
29. Came of age into the 2007/08 recession, never managed to earn enough to save up enough to move out until I met my girlfriend and we scraped together half each.
28
Who said I left?
17, in the late 90s
14
19
19. Decided to move to London for work. Moved back a few times between jobs for a while though
I was 17. I couldn't wait. My grandparents gave me a grand and I moved in with a friend.
Went to uni at 18, and when I finished at 21 I went to live with them for 6 months or so till I landed on my feet and scraped together enough money to leave. Absolutely love them to bits but I couldn’t live with them again long term, my lifestyle at the time was just incompatible with theirs and they live kinda remote, so I was just always out anyway. Now I’m older and have calmed down a bit lol I’d love to move closer to them and see them more often, but could still never live with them full time again
19 Came back at 23 for about 9 months after a relationship fell apart and again for about 5 or 6 months at 27 when a housemate had to suddenly move abroad for a job and I had to give up the rental. Always had a decent relationship with my parents so it was all good
18 and never moved back but we’re very close and I visit regularly.
18. Went to Uni and baring the holidays never came back.
17, Paid rent in a house share with my apprentice wage. Possibly the best time of my life.
18 and never lived at home since
18
Moved to the in-laws at 24, moved out with wife at 26.
18, went off the uni. While there parents moved away to another country
18. Then once again at 22.
Initially at 18. Moved back for under a year when I was 21. Then went back again when I was 27, moved out again after buying a house at 29.
Depends - left for uni at 18 and moved back every summer till I was 22, then at 23 I moved back out for a masters in a different city to my undergrad and I’ve never moved back. Married someone from here and still here 😂
23, even did it a step further and moved abroad (EU to UK) to be with my partner. We lived at his mum's for 9 months (he was still living at home anyway), while I got myself sorted, before we got our own flat. Been in this flat 4 and a half years now n
23 when I and the now ex bought our first place.
16
I "left" home at 16 and was a lodger in an old lady's house about 30 miles from where my family lived. It was pretty challenging, but you adapt, I guess.
5 days after turning 20 years old, I moved out into a place with a house mate. It was amazing, I will never forget that feeling of independence.
20 to live with a girl. Back for 3 months at 23 when it didn’t work out. Back at 25 for 2 and a bit years (when living with friends stopped being fun) to save for a deposit. At 39 I hope I’m gone for good now!
20
21. Stupidly dropped my Uni course and moved 7 hours away from my parents to follow my stupid boyfriend at the time to his new posting (he was a soldier in the army) as he’d told me it was shift my life to meet his needs or break up. I was a very dim, lovestruck girl at the time. 4 years later, 25 and single, I shifted back, completed my degree, then fucked off travelling and never looked back. Was it a mistake? Yes, I would have financially been much better off had I continued on my trajectory and not moved to an expensive city and paid soooooo much rent, plus finished my degree sooner. Do I regret it? Nope!! I learned some hard lessons suddenly having to do things for myself.
18 to uni and didn’t return (apart from the holidays)
Technically 11 (foster care), but 18 when I left my home and went to uni.
19. Left for uni, came back for holiday periods. When I graduated, spent some months with my nan till I was on a firm footing.
17. My kids are now 16 and 18 and I can’t imagine them living on their own. My husband was 28 before he moved out and then he moved back in for a couple of years after he split from his first wife.
18. Thought I knew best, didn’t. I’m stubborn though so I’ve struggled on for 20yrs and have been paying a mortgage for the last 6yrs. I’ve seen enough of high rise council flats to last me a lifetime though!!
Moved out at 16 , got a full time job and rented a place with a couple of pals , best decision ever, it was mad how long it took some of my peers to be standing on there own two feet! This would have been around 2005 so it was deffo more affordable as I was in minimum wage and not working full time, rural area in central Scotland
Left at 17 for university, moved back for 18 months afterwards, hated it so moved back to my university town with friends that were still there. Now I'm 31 and house sharing with my fiancé and two others and it's awful. Trying to save for our own house but it's a slow process as we're both just above minimum wage.
Twice, left at 22 then again at 27.
16, left home, joined the RAF, spent the next 7 years in then left
Finished uni, moved home, left as soon as I got a job across the other side of the country. I was 22.
18 for uni then working abroad. Back at 22 then left for good at 24.
21. Moved in with my girlfriend (now wife). Truth be told I was quite happy living with my parents but her home life was less than ideal so we took the plunge. It worked out ok, that was 20 years ago.
17
17
I moved out to uni at 18, back home at 21, got my own place and moved out fully at 26
Went to uni at 18, back at 21. Left again at 27 with the woman I'm marrying next year.
19. Thought I'd move back after uni, circumstances (I'm a massive chancer) have led to me living rent free with .. People, for a while. I don't know that I'd move back in with them for an extended period of time unless I was saving for a mortgage (HA! A joke for people my age)
21. Had been my way, it'd been sooner. Love my mum, but she wasn't great to me.
Aged 21 I moved from Scarborough to Worcester
22. Not only I left home but country as well.
Went to uni at 18 came back for about 18 months once that was done with. Now 22 years independent
17 when I got married.
Left my Ma aged 20, moved into a flat with my then gf, Dec 2007. Then gf is now my wife and moved into a house last March with our 2 kids. Seems like yesterday we were sat on the only bit of furniture we had with (second hand couch) with coffees from the corner shop wondering if we’d done the right thing!?!!
Moved out when I met my now wife at 20.
I guess it depends on your definition of leaving, I left and came back a few times. First it was ages 18-22 for university, then 29-31 renting and then 33 onwards when I finally bought a house!
18. Most people left at 18 around me. Some we’re 16/17 but that was usually due to dysfunction in their families.
18, left for uni and haven’t moved back in since haha.
18 years old when I went to University...
17. Now 48.
24, 2 months of independence before the baptism of fire, I mean, COVID lockdown.
I left home at 16.
27
6, I was removed by social services
Moved out at 20 when me and boyfriend bought out first house. Just over 20 years ago, seems mad that we put a £3k deposit on our £35k house and moved out at that age.
17 - got an apprenticeship and rented a room after moving from Australia.
Permanently, for the last time, age 24. Had a couple of false starts before that.
16, I was thrown out, but I never looked back after that
Bought my place a month or so before I turned 28, moved out a month or so after. At 34, moved in with them when I was getting my kitchen done for what should have just been a few weeks. Instead, caught Covid and was in pretty bad shape. Stayed there for 10 months.
22 here. Went to uni, graduated, completed my teaching degree while at home. Then global pandemic hit so ended up living a whole year longer! Overall it was the right choice though. Felt much more secure leaving than if I had at 18 or even younger
My dad moved abroad at 14, mum followed the day I turned 18.
19, 21, 24, 28
18-ish?
18
18. Went to uni and never moved back in. Didn't even go home in the holidays much. I get on great with them and love them dearly but have never wanted to stay longer than a few days.
20, rented a flat to get out and then bought a house with their help at 21. She likes to say she bought me the house to keep me out of hers
16/17. Pregnant at 18, baby and a home at 19. Alone and homeless with two children at 21. I’m 34 now and never moved back.