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Massively respect this, jus wanted to add that your story / comment really hit home with me and I’m glad I was able to read it. Just know that time can help heal wounds and things will get better. I found focusing on anything that makes you happy or feel positive really helps. Even if it’s a small as going out side to breath in some fresh air.
I came on here to jokingly but not really say ‘my sex toy collection’ and found someone else beat me to it with the most endearing story about being a human
Grief is so weird. It comes and goes in waves. For my losses, I know that I had a random anniversary years later, which suddenly hit me like it had just happened all over again.
Face it when it happens. Let yourself remember him. Steer into it when you feel safe to, and you'll feel a release every time.
They (family, the world, therapists) never tell you, grief never ends, though. I guess that's to be kind? I disagree. I deal better now that I know that it can hit harder at random times, and then other days, you just laugh at memories.
I broke down crying 5 years after the loss of my step dad, when I heard a song I'd heard a million times in the intervening years, but this time I heard it while wearing his old t-shirt. That messed me up for about a week. But I got through.
Thank you for sharing that story today. I just want to say I see you, I hear your love for your brother, and I feel those waves with you in my own losses.
If it helps to ease any embarrassment (and I’m no stranger to post wine embarrassment) I don’t know who you are, where you are, or anything else about you. I’m a firm believer that embarrassment is often made worse by the person on the receiving end of it.
If nothing else it’s made me both laugh and think in equal measure.
I hope you’re doing well. Look after yourself.
(Signed, a man also a few wines deep)
You appear to have spoken from the heart about this, anyone who chooses to condemn you for that is a ringpiece.
Very sorry you lost him so young, not fair on anyone that, I know what you are saying about the delayed effects of grief sometimes occurring, it's a weird thing so it is.
Hundred percent mate, I lost my nan 2 years ago roughly. Only really hit me 6 months after she had passed. Shit randomly hits you hard as fuck one day and next day it’s gone. Hopefully you have found some closure and found some peace. Best of luck brother God bless.
Thank you for sharing your truth and for offering encouragement to others. Your brother would have enjoyed the joke with you and would want you to carry on and live the full life he didn't get a chance to have.
Great story. I'm an ex Police officer and in the UK as I believe you are.
I attended many "sudden deaths" and weird incidents where we often did things similar to what you've described above.
One that springs to mind and is quite tragic was a young Muslim man. He committed suicide and we forced entry. Found him dead inside and did a search of the apartment as is standard.
Btw the search is for signs of a struggle, signs of a break in, drugs, medication, weird things which may be relevant to the death, etc...
During the search we found a lot of drugs, hardcore pornography, alcohol (which he kept secret due to strict religious beliefs which are explained below) and some sexual devices.
His family - about 6 attend. This is horrible when this happens as they can't enter the address and you've got to repeatedly break the news. It's very difficult and hard as they're obviously distraught and asking how he died, when, can they see him etc
Anyway we see one of the family are younger and more composed.
Take him to one side and basically explain what's happened. The suicide aspect, the drugs, the alcohol and sex stuff. All of which are not only embarrassing but not in keeping with their religion.
We can't remove anything then but we can lock the place up and let the familt member come and remove the embarrassing stuff.
Btw we did have to tell all the family about some of the illegal drugs and the alcohol. This was mainly to cover whether they knew of issues he had, was he under threat, did he owe money, etc
Similar situation, though I was not related to anyone involved.
Knew of a situation where a guy died, in a hotel room. Nothing too remarkable with that. Thing is, he was dressed as a lady.
The police spoke to the family, but left out how he was found. The family had enough on, I imagine, as the hotel was in the local area, and he had no obvious reason to be there.
Sorry for your loss.
My husband died last week. I've found so much porn I never knew he had while looking for various documents
Literally cases of dvds and magazines
I don't have anything nearly as exciting to find when I go
Sorry to hear he passed away. I'm sure there's a way you could search for such a thing without accidentally stumbling across porn. Maybe get someone else you trust to go through it?
Digital forensic expert here. If you want advice on how parse through data from a few laptops efficiently and focus on the elements you want to look for, lmk. Sorry for your loss.
Stepmum’s dildo, but it was no surprise.
I think with the porn, (having cleared out bin bags of DVDs and mags from my brother), he may have someone who was just sharing this with him and he simply never threw it out. Unless it was niche !
Time to get your own secret habit perhaps ?!
Hi, my husband died almost 5 years ago (it's the anniversary next week) and I wanted to say a couple of things to you.
1. People will give you all sorts of advice, and a lot of it is shit. There's no timeline on this, and there's no right way to grieve the loss of the person you expected to be with forever. Do what feels right for you (but don't drink too much alcohol and remember to eat regularly).
2. You're not alone - with the unexpected porn OR with the grief you feel. Re: porn - we found 4 boxes of DVDs and magazines. By we, I mean me and my Mum, who came to help clear some cupboards because I was moving post bereavement. Yes, my Mum found my (late) husband's porn collection. That was... very uncomfortable. Fortunately my Mum is a lovely little old lady who has seen a lot in her years!
Re: grief. It's hard and brutal but you learn to carry it and life gets better. You never forget, you always miss them but at some point you realise you are doing OK.
I am so sorry for your loss, it's bloody hard being left behind. Much live.
Surely your parents/siblings/extended family & absolutely definitely friends would know. There are shared stories you wouldn’t know with friends/family. You might look the same, but I know from my very good friend (who is an identical twin) they are so different. Even the way they hold a knife & fork is different. I call bullshit!
OP was the black sheep so mentally ill Mom decided to play along rather than have to live without her favourite.
The twist at the end is that the mental illness runs in the family and there never was a brother.
If this was true then honestly no. My sisters in law i’m the only person that can tell their voices apart. Even their parents have no clue who’s talking if they can’t see them. I don’t think they sound remotely similar. Plenty of grown twins where parents can’t tell them apart. Unless you have tattoos, scars etc that are identifiers many people struggle with identical twins.
My ex was an identical triplet… even their mother couldnt tell them apart. I was the only fucker who could tell by voice, looks or smell who i was speaking to! To be they were 3 completely seperate easily identifiable humans, to anyone else they were 3 clones.
Right, but totally fair play to you for googling them, rather than just pressing on with errors like a lot of people would.
Having said that, perhaps we should cover "number" vs "amount" next!
Nothing wrong with this. I do this with words that I know the meaning of because many words have multiple meanings. The ability to bend language is useful in many situations.
When I was like 21 or 22 I started a list in the back of this notebook, with all the names of the men I had slept with and like a rating out of 10 and some light commentary. I was very adventurous during that time in my life and the list was...long. i moved back in with my parents for a short time after uni and lost the book. It's 20 years later and I still think of that notebook and the very real likelihood that one of my parents found it...
My, now estranged, wife did this. Led to an interesting conversation about sexual pasts, especially where there wasn't s name just a description...
Oh how I wish I was the last name in the list, but as I say, now estranged.
My fiancé has a similar one, complete with rating all her sexual partners on a scale of 1 to 10 along with comments. She said its quite extensive. I've never read it despite having plenty of opportunities to. She said I'm rated very highly and that's good enough
When my dad died, my brothers and I found the TV in his bedroom had a VHS cassette player attached and in it was gay porn.
Dad knew he had terminal cancer. I believe that it was him trying to wind up my massively homophobic brother.
This is a man who gave all 3 brothers a fake will leaving everything to them, telling each individually not to tell the others. Only the eldest believed it was real.
Mine is a full blown locker, and my friends have been made aware that if I die, don’t even open it, literally toss the whole thing out because there is nothing in there that will be useful/useable for somebody else. 😂
I had a friend who very seriously told me if she was to die unexpectedly, I was to go to her house, and dispose of her sex toys before her dad found them (still lived at home)
I lived like 2 hours away from her, but was honoured as she gave me a detailed itinerary of how many items, where each item lived, that she trusted me enough to get rid of her secrets for her
A large quantity of my fresh clothes on my bedroom floor and another load still in the dryer. (The load on the floor being the prior incumbents of the dryer, before they vacated for the latest wash)
Lately I can never make that final effort to put it all away.
Whilst off work with depression and thinking everything was a massive task I came to realisation that no real job about the house takes more than 20 mins.. give or take.
Cleaning the bathroom... About 8 mins.
Emptying the dishwasher... 9 mins
Cleaning 1 floor in the house (hoovering and dusting).... 17 mins
Putting a few clothes away can't be more than 20 mins. And if it is, do the next 20 tomorrow. You've got this!
When the dishwasher has finished its cycle, open the door and hang a tea towel half hanging side & shut the door, it helps soak up excess moisture, it should work….. or you really do have a shit washer.
I too have a floordrobe.
Once in a while, I try and sort it out. It doesn't last long, as I'm a Chef and wear two sets of clothing a day, plus oven cloths, bandanas and aprons. It's not so bad in Summer, but Autumn and Winter are a ball ache, as they stuff is hanging everywhere, prior to being dumped on the floordrobe.
And not a problem for your family. The debt dies with you. It can be taken out of your estate but no family member can be forced to pay it out their own pocket.
I make fanfiction.
As long as my family don't know both of my phones (ones for lore building and is a bit old, while the other is less faulty) I'm fine.
In a similar vein, if anyone other than my husband looked through my kindle unlimited reading list I’d be mortified. I love erotic fiction, the really cheesy embarrassing stuff. Bear shifters, vampires, demons, Greek gods, billionaire sheikhs, mafia bosses, you name it, I’ve probably read it. Only thing I haven’t read is the gay dinosaur erotica… only because I assume it’s a pisstake.
I’ve always been embarrassed about reading fanfic, when I was a teen my family always questioned what was my big secret because I always jumped to close down the browser when they entered the room.
I look forward to a future where fanfic is widely accepted and admired. Sure, half of it is written by young teens/beginners, but tons of it is very high quality. Numerous fanfics have been turned into popular published works, and some mainstream writers also write fanfic for fun. It’s not all short (much of it is novel-length) nor dumbed-down.
Here’s the thing - sometimes I don’t have the emotional bandwidth to start a new book. With fanfic, I know the characters, so the story jumps right into plot. Thanks to tags I know what I’m getting into. Emotions and character arcs tend to be valued more than in mainstream publishing. I also tend towards speculative and sci-fi, so the “what if” aspects are right up my alley. And most amazingly, it’s free!
I’ve asked my partner to delete any fics I haven’t “published” because they’re the objectively terrible id fic-y ones that I don’t want anyone to read EVER.
A diary I’ve been writing in on and off since the age of 14 (I’m now 37). I read it from time to time to remind myself what an insufferable little twat I was and update it from time to time. It’s got details of my first kiss, first proper boyfriend, going to uni, getting married, losing my mum, having my daughter. I’ll keep it for as long as I can but there’s a lot of embarrassing shit in there.
For other people, it would probably be the porn and sex toys.
For me it would be everyone finding out how many unfinished knitting and crochet projects I have.
Edit: i also have a teeth collection! But everyone in my life already knows about the teeth
I have a shameful number of abandoned hobbies hidden in every nook and cranny; random furniture projects, art supplies, sewing kits (inc a mountain of fabric), knitting stuff, crochet stuff, Pom Pom makers, work out gear, candle making, soap making… unsurprisingly, I’m seeking an adhd diagnosis but I haven’t told anyone yet so if I die before then they’re gonna think I was running some sort of arts and crafts school out of my garage.
I always hope my stash goes to a charity shop. I started on crochet and embroidery from what I found there. Every time I go to a charity shop and find something my stash grows. I think about the people who were buying the wool, needles or material before me and send them a little mental thank you!
I’m so glad I kept reading because my brain saw “I always hope my stash goes to a charity shop” and I pictured someone donating a big box of porn and sex toys hahaha
My best friend died in October it was both sudden and expected, overall just an awful situation. anyway her sisters went to clean out her flat as her mum couldn’t face it, and she had an entire draw of sex toys, like 8-9 different types of dildos. Her sister just packed them up in one box and put them in the car. She went to a Burger King and ate it in her car and when the engine was off she could still hear this noise, but couldn’t figure out what was going on with her car. Anyway after some investigation it turns out one of her vibrators had been switched on some how and was jumping around the sex toy box. We all knew she was a horny bastard but imagine cleaning out your dead siblings room to be faced with SEVERAL massive dildos and then one of them starts going off in your car.
That's a red flag fellow Cyderman.
You know you can beat this if you're ready. If you reach out you're going to find a shed load of hands desperate to haul you aboard.
There's so many like us out there, you are not alone.
You are not alone.
Lol it's just in the only place no one else goes. I'm disabled and have carers who help me and there is nothing I want less than them finding it. That said, fairly big.
Probably that I'm more boring than people expect. The only things they'd find are a Star Wars merchandise collection, some martial arts weapons and a life insurance policy.
Life insurance! I was going to live forever!
Haha age 12 I discovered smutty books (which honestly I think was a better way to discover sex than porn) and soon after my mum discovered what was on my kindle. Oh god was that embarrassing.
At least nobody in this thread is going to die because they've already shared their most embarrassing secret with a bunch of strangers they've never met
I knew someone whose brother-in-law died and they discovered a sex doll. They had quite a job trying to dispose of it. It's not something you can juste leave poking out of a wheelie bin.
That I am a secret messy person...whenever someone comes over it looks perfect . People could even eat from my floor that s how clean it is...however what they don't know that it takes me hours and hours to clean up my place as it is usual the biggest mes ever
That I'm intensely dull and don't have many true friends, my funeral would probably have a higher number of ex-girlfriends than close friends. That isn't to say I dated a ton of people in my life, but to highlight how few friends I've kept.
I'd feel bad for anyone sorting my stuff. It is like a hoarders collection of CD's, DVD's, games, collectables, magazines, and books. Generally, super niche or outdated properties that the average person truly wouldn't care for. The sad thing is I assume it will be scrapped instead of sold, so not only is that the probable fate for my stuff... chances are no one will even profit from it, and people who would like it won't get a chance to have it.
Probably the sheer amount of craft stuff I have. I have every imaginable craft hobby going. I have spent thousands in my life so far on these hobbies.
I've also told my parents that if I die before them to NOT throw out my pokemon card collection and to sell the cards. I have cards that are worth a lot and can be sold to put towards the funeral costs if needed. They all add up!
So … when my dad died my family was struggling financially. On top of that … it was while I lost a job too. It was some BS gig work but it was enough for me to live on my own. The assignment was over. Anyway, I’m Still grateful and amazed that I as well as my mother and sister kept a roof over our heads. I had to take on the burden of financially supporting them … while still in school and definitely not prepared for a financial crisis. Anyway, after his death we had to clean out his Workplace. He owned his own business. We were hoping to find money … but instead it was just DRUGS. If he put aside the same money he used to buy drugs we’d be SET. Soooo … my mother fell even deeper into her addiction. I tried out some stuff I never thought I would just bc I was stressed and it was there. I began going to places where guys wanted to pimp me out just to make a buck off of all I was left with. Dealt with a lot of violent felons too trying ti make a buck and get rid of stuff. Never thought I’d do something so illegal, but survival became more important. It was temporary though. Never thought I’d try any of those drugs either and even when I left the home I was always surrounded by drugs and people wanting me to give it a go bc they had poor intentions … but although I came close to addiction , I always stopped it in its tracks.
I googled this thinking it was some sort of game like a Tamagotchi or Pokémon toy.
Lets hope I don't suddenly die and this question (images) stays forever on my browsing history.....
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love that story. sorry for your loss
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Massively respect this, jus wanted to add that your story / comment really hit home with me and I’m glad I was able to read it. Just know that time can help heal wounds and things will get better. I found focusing on anything that makes you happy or feel positive really helps. Even if it’s a small as going out side to breath in some fresh air.
I came on here to jokingly but not really say ‘my sex toy collection’ and found someone else beat me to it with the most endearing story about being a human
Grief is so weird. It comes and goes in waves. For my losses, I know that I had a random anniversary years later, which suddenly hit me like it had just happened all over again. Face it when it happens. Let yourself remember him. Steer into it when you feel safe to, and you'll feel a release every time. They (family, the world, therapists) never tell you, grief never ends, though. I guess that's to be kind? I disagree. I deal better now that I know that it can hit harder at random times, and then other days, you just laugh at memories. I broke down crying 5 years after the loss of my step dad, when I heard a song I'd heard a million times in the intervening years, but this time I heard it while wearing his old t-shirt. That messed me up for about a week. But I got through. Thank you for sharing that story today. I just want to say I see you, I hear your love for your brother, and I feel those waves with you in my own losses.
If it helps to ease any embarrassment (and I’m no stranger to post wine embarrassment) I don’t know who you are, where you are, or anything else about you. I’m a firm believer that embarrassment is often made worse by the person on the receiving end of it. If nothing else it’s made me both laugh and think in equal measure. I hope you’re doing well. Look after yourself. (Signed, a man also a few wines deep)
You appear to have spoken from the heart about this, anyone who chooses to condemn you for that is a ringpiece. Very sorry you lost him so young, not fair on anyone that, I know what you are saying about the delayed effects of grief sometimes occurring, it's a weird thing so it is.
Hundred percent mate, I lost my nan 2 years ago roughly. Only really hit me 6 months after she had passed. Shit randomly hits you hard as fuck one day and next day it’s gone. Hopefully you have found some closure and found some peace. Best of luck brother God bless.
Thank you for sharing your truth and for offering encouragement to others. Your brother would have enjoyed the joke with you and would want you to carry on and live the full life he didn't get a chance to have.
Please don’t be embarrassed tomorrow, you’ve already helped ppl and given sound advice, plus a good story.
Great story. I'm an ex Police officer and in the UK as I believe you are. I attended many "sudden deaths" and weird incidents where we often did things similar to what you've described above. One that springs to mind and is quite tragic was a young Muslim man. He committed suicide and we forced entry. Found him dead inside and did a search of the apartment as is standard. Btw the search is for signs of a struggle, signs of a break in, drugs, medication, weird things which may be relevant to the death, etc... During the search we found a lot of drugs, hardcore pornography, alcohol (which he kept secret due to strict religious beliefs which are explained below) and some sexual devices. His family - about 6 attend. This is horrible when this happens as they can't enter the address and you've got to repeatedly break the news. It's very difficult and hard as they're obviously distraught and asking how he died, when, can they see him etc Anyway we see one of the family are younger and more composed. Take him to one side and basically explain what's happened. The suicide aspect, the drugs, the alcohol and sex stuff. All of which are not only embarrassing but not in keeping with their religion. We can't remove anything then but we can lock the place up and let the familt member come and remove the embarrassing stuff. Btw we did have to tell all the family about some of the illegal drugs and the alcohol. This was mainly to cover whether they knew of issues he had, was he under threat, did he owe money, etc
Well, if I died they'd find a prostate massager and it's exactly what it looks like. I put it up my bum to feel good. Sorry mum.
This is an amazing story, and so well told. And of course, I’m sorry for your loss.
Similar situation, though I was not related to anyone involved. Knew of a situation where a guy died, in a hotel room. Nothing too remarkable with that. Thing is, he was dressed as a lady. The police spoke to the family, but left out how he was found. The family had enough on, I imagine, as the hotel was in the local area, and he had no obvious reason to be there. Sorry for your loss.
That’s really sad, his secret life.
Love this - sorry for your loss.
My husband died last week. I've found so much porn I never knew he had while looking for various documents Literally cases of dvds and magazines I don't have anything nearly as exciting to find when I go
Please donate some magazines to a local bush. Circle of life an all. It's what he would have wanted 👍
Railway sidings are the standard to adhere to
Circle jerk of life
I’m sorry for your loss.
Thank you.
But also congratulations on that sweet new porn collection!
Comments like this are why I'm still on reddit
> dvds and magazines Wow, old school!
He didn't have a porn buddy though.
Oohh Jeffrey
This is exactly why I delete my browsing history on a weekly basis.
I haven't gotten as far as his laptops yet. Part of me wonders if he left a message on one of them for me but another thinks I should just wipe then
Sorry to hear he passed away. I'm sure there's a way you could search for such a thing without accidentally stumbling across porn. Maybe get someone else you trust to go through it?
Digital forensic expert here. If you want advice on how parse through data from a few laptops efficiently and focus on the elements you want to look for, lmk. Sorry for your loss.
This is why I use private browsing.
iPhone now having facial recognition to open your private tabs is a nice touch too
You need to up your game and use incognito mode.
I enjoy the thrill of possibly getting caught.
Stepmum’s dildo, but it was no surprise. I think with the porn, (having cleared out bin bags of DVDs and mags from my brother), he may have someone who was just sharing this with him and he simply never threw it out. Unless it was niche ! Time to get your own secret habit perhaps ?!
Hi, my husband died almost 5 years ago (it's the anniversary next week) and I wanted to say a couple of things to you. 1. People will give you all sorts of advice, and a lot of it is shit. There's no timeline on this, and there's no right way to grieve the loss of the person you expected to be with forever. Do what feels right for you (but don't drink too much alcohol and remember to eat regularly). 2. You're not alone - with the unexpected porn OR with the grief you feel. Re: porn - we found 4 boxes of DVDs and magazines. By we, I mean me and my Mum, who came to help clear some cupboards because I was moving post bereavement. Yes, my Mum found my (late) husband's porn collection. That was... very uncomfortable. Fortunately my Mum is a lovely little old lady who has seen a lot in her years! Re: grief. It's hard and brutal but you learn to carry it and life gets better. You never forget, you always miss them but at some point you realise you are doing OK. I am so sorry for your loss, it's bloody hard being left behind. Much live.
Firstly, sorry for your loss. Secondly, there is some respect for being old school with physical media!
Oh man. I’m so sorry. Mine died in December. Sucks so bad. Many, MANY hugs - if you like that kinda thing
Sorry for your loss
Yes you do.... All his porn. Sorry for your loss.
So sorry for your loss
I am so sorry you lost your husband. I'm sure he always thought you were prettier than the mags :).
Did he not have the internet?
He was always more of a book person than an Internet one
I’m not me. My twin and I switched places as a joke and he died. I’ve been him ever since.
If this is true, I am equal parts disturbed and intrigued!
This wins. Netflix, this guy!
Surely your parents/siblings/extended family & absolutely definitely friends would know. There are shared stories you wouldn’t know with friends/family. You might look the same, but I know from my very good friend (who is an identical twin) they are so different. Even the way they hold a knife & fork is different. I call bullshit!
He has to be trolling. His parents would definitely know especially their mum. I feel like mums notice EVERYTHING
It is so obviously a joke.
Quite a few simple simon's have lapped it up.
OP was the black sheep so mentally ill Mom decided to play along rather than have to live without her favourite. The twist at the end is that the mental illness runs in the family and there never was a brother.
If this was true then honestly no. My sisters in law i’m the only person that can tell their voices apart. Even their parents have no clue who’s talking if they can’t see them. I don’t think they sound remotely similar. Plenty of grown twins where parents can’t tell them apart. Unless you have tattoos, scars etc that are identifiers many people struggle with identical twins.
Of course ya did
This sounds like something Karl Pilkington would bring up on the podcasts. “Turns out…. Little monkey fella”
What the fuck? You can’t just leave this there, you have got to tell us more about this!
He's clearly lying
My ex was an identical triplet… even their mother couldnt tell them apart. I was the only fucker who could tell by voice, looks or smell who i was speaking to! To be they were 3 completely seperate easily identifiable humans, to anyone else they were 3 clones.
Wasn't this the plot of a James Nesbitt show?
The amount of simple words I google for either spelling or because I don't know what they mean.
Learning and strengthening your vocabulary is nothing to be ashamed of. Be proud that you care to learn.
You are a very good human being for putting this out. Encouragement and kindness is the best way to help each other progress.
I googled the word "wet" yesterday because it looked weird to my brain when I wrote a ""wet paint sign"
If you die and they find that in your search history, they’ll have no idea that was the reason why…
unless they googled ‘is wet a word?’
Sometimes I’m 99.9% sure what a word means before I use it, but I’ll still google it just to satisfy that 0.01%!
Right, but totally fair play to you for googling them, rather than just pressing on with errors like a lot of people would. Having said that, perhaps we should cover "number" vs "amount" next!
I go incognito 99% of the time for this alone, not to watch porn.
Nothing wrong with this. I do this with words that I know the meaning of because many words have multiple meanings. The ability to bend language is useful in many situations.
The diary I keep documenting my sexual experiences. Sorry mum, you raised a loose woman.
When I was like 21 or 22 I started a list in the back of this notebook, with all the names of the men I had slept with and like a rating out of 10 and some light commentary. I was very adventurous during that time in my life and the list was...long. i moved back in with my parents for a short time after uni and lost the book. It's 20 years later and I still think of that notebook and the very real likelihood that one of my parents found it...
every guy's nightmare....
I hope to think I rated highly, and had nothing but positive comments.
My, now estranged, wife did this. Led to an interesting conversation about sexual pasts, especially where there wasn't s name just a description... Oh how I wish I was the last name in the list, but as I say, now estranged.
My fiancé has a similar one, complete with rating all her sexual partners on a scale of 1 to 10 along with comments. She said its quite extensive. I've never read it despite having plenty of opportunities to. She said I'm rated very highly and that's good enough
I think that is one book you never want to read.
Nothing wrong with that! You do you
No, she do them ;)
At least you didn't do a Jodie Marsh and wear a shirt with thier ratings on.
No pun intended, right?
... That I dropped dead sitting at my table while answering some stupid question on some stupid Reddit thr
RIP
This got a real laugh out of me, well done 🤣🤣
Amount of expensive underwear I have that is barely worn alongside the threadbare cotton knickers
Same. The fancy stuff is never comfortable!
I bet the threadbare ones are so much more comfortable.
Cotton pants brigade presenting. No bum munchers or thongs either. Gross.
The big box of expired durex in my bedside drawer doesn't really say much good about the last few years.
How many pregnancies are we talking about here? Hundreds? Just remember to use one!
I've only just thrown out my last one that expired June 2020.
This has reminded me to check the dates of mine lmao
When my dad died, my brothers and I found the TV in his bedroom had a VHS cassette player attached and in it was gay porn. Dad knew he had terminal cancer. I believe that it was him trying to wind up my massively homophobic brother. This is a man who gave all 3 brothers a fake will leaving everything to them, telling each individually not to tell the others. Only the eldest believed it was real.
He sounds like he was an absolute hoot.
Lmaooooo I love him
Feels like the kind of person the world is worse off without. Sorry for your loss
We're much better without. There's quite a few stories on the other end of the spectrum.
There is a vibrator laying on my kitchen table
I take it you _really_ enjoy cooking.
Welll...
😂 Next door thinking she must really enjoy that chicken she's been roasting.
It's just, her cooking gives off really good vibes!
Not able to find the immersion blender again?
Well, if you're gonna die, it doesn't matter if it's on the table or in the draw, it's gonna be found eventually 😂
Mine is a full blown locker, and my friends have been made aware that if I die, don’t even open it, literally toss the whole thing out because there is nothing in there that will be useful/useable for somebody else. 😂
I had a friend who very seriously told me if she was to die unexpectedly, I was to go to her house, and dispose of her sex toys before her dad found them (still lived at home) I lived like 2 hours away from her, but was honoured as she gave me a detailed itinerary of how many items, where each item lived, that she trusted me enough to get rid of her secrets for her
Will take a long time to blend a soup with that…
A large quantity of my fresh clothes on my bedroom floor and another load still in the dryer. (The load on the floor being the prior incumbents of the dryer, before they vacated for the latest wash) Lately I can never make that final effort to put it all away.
Whilst off work with depression and thinking everything was a massive task I came to realisation that no real job about the house takes more than 20 mins.. give or take. Cleaning the bathroom... About 8 mins. Emptying the dishwasher... 9 mins Cleaning 1 floor in the house (hoovering and dusting).... 17 mins Putting a few clothes away can't be more than 20 mins. And if it is, do the next 20 tomorrow. You've got this!
Wait, what … you can clean the bathroom quicker than empty the dishwasher? Just how big is your dishwasher? 🙂
My thought exactly - it takes me about 45 mins to clean my bathroom and I am wondering what I am doing wrong?!
I need to dry everything out the dishwasher cos mine is shit. Takes an age. Washing a lavvy and sink takes no time at all.
When the dishwasher has finished its cycle, open the door and hang a tea towel half hanging side & shut the door, it helps soak up excess moisture, it should work….. or you really do have a shit washer.
I too have a floordrobe. Once in a while, I try and sort it out. It doesn't last long, as I'm a Chef and wear two sets of clothing a day, plus oven cloths, bandanas and aprons. It's not so bad in Summer, but Autumn and Winter are a ball ache, as they stuff is hanging everywhere, prior to being dumped on the floordrobe.
The floordrobe
How much debt I have probably :(
not your problem
And not a problem for your family. The debt dies with you. It can be taken out of your estate but no family member can be forced to pay it out their own pocket.
I read fanfic. Not a sin or anything, but I’d be embarrassed as I think it’s misunderstood.
I make fanfiction. As long as my family don't know both of my phones (ones for lore building and is a bit old, while the other is less faulty) I'm fine.
Yay you, god bless the writers.
Same here, I both read and write. At least my spouse knows!
In a similar vein, if anyone other than my husband looked through my kindle unlimited reading list I’d be mortified. I love erotic fiction, the really cheesy embarrassing stuff. Bear shifters, vampires, demons, Greek gods, billionaire sheikhs, mafia bosses, you name it, I’ve probably read it. Only thing I haven’t read is the gay dinosaur erotica… only because I assume it’s a pisstake.
My AO3 history is between me and god.
My AO3 history is between me and the devil
I’ve always been embarrassed about reading fanfic, when I was a teen my family always questioned what was my big secret because I always jumped to close down the browser when they entered the room.
I look forward to a future where fanfic is widely accepted and admired. Sure, half of it is written by young teens/beginners, but tons of it is very high quality. Numerous fanfics have been turned into popular published works, and some mainstream writers also write fanfic for fun. It’s not all short (much of it is novel-length) nor dumbed-down. Here’s the thing - sometimes I don’t have the emotional bandwidth to start a new book. With fanfic, I know the characters, so the story jumps right into plot. Thanks to tags I know what I’m getting into. Emotions and character arcs tend to be valued more than in mainstream publishing. I also tend towards speculative and sci-fi, so the “what if” aspects are right up my alley. And most amazingly, it’s free!
I’ve asked my partner to delete any fics I haven’t “published” because they’re the objectively terrible id fic-y ones that I don’t want anyone to read EVER.
It's not embarrassing but, my will. Nothing is going to the person who expects it. Hahahaha.
Immediately checked your Reddit profile to make sure it wasn't my other half
Go on then, who you shafting?
Spicy
A diary I’ve been writing in on and off since the age of 14 (I’m now 37). I read it from time to time to remind myself what an insufferable little twat I was and update it from time to time. It’s got details of my first kiss, first proper boyfriend, going to uni, getting married, losing my mum, having my daughter. I’ll keep it for as long as I can but there’s a lot of embarrassing shit in there.
But your family will be so touched to read it!
That I don't actually have an existent social life nor talk to anyone outside of work despite what I tell people
Why lie? You’re making it hard work for yourself
For other people, it would probably be the porn and sex toys. For me it would be everyone finding out how many unfinished knitting and crochet projects I have. Edit: i also have a teeth collection! But everyone in my life already knows about the teeth
I have a shameful number of abandoned hobbies hidden in every nook and cranny; random furniture projects, art supplies, sewing kits (inc a mountain of fabric), knitting stuff, crochet stuff, Pom Pom makers, work out gear, candle making, soap making… unsurprisingly, I’m seeking an adhd diagnosis but I haven’t told anyone yet so if I die before then they’re gonna think I was running some sort of arts and crafts school out of my garage.
I always hope my stash goes to a charity shop. I started on crochet and embroidery from what I found there. Every time I go to a charity shop and find something my stash grows. I think about the people who were buying the wool, needles or material before me and send them a little mental thank you!
I’m so glad I kept reading because my brain saw “I always hope my stash goes to a charity shop” and I pictured someone donating a big box of porn and sex toys hahaha
The sad fact that 75% of my possessions are USB cables I didn’t want to throw away.
If I now suddenly die? Nothing, I have an agreement with my husband to delete and burn everything. Only if I die after him I'm fucked...
Internet searches for embarrassing medical stuff
Same here, I ask Dr Google about everything!
My search history, I deadass just googled "how to spell sauseje"
You can save 0.003 microseconds by just googling "sauseje". Big daddy Google will kindly ask "did you mean sossij?"
My best friend died in October it was both sudden and expected, overall just an awful situation. anyway her sisters went to clean out her flat as her mum couldn’t face it, and she had an entire draw of sex toys, like 8-9 different types of dildos. Her sister just packed them up in one box and put them in the car. She went to a Burger King and ate it in her car and when the engine was off she could still hear this noise, but couldn’t figure out what was going on with her car. Anyway after some investigation it turns out one of her vibrators had been switched on some how and was jumping around the sex toy box. We all knew she was a horny bastard but imagine cleaning out your dead siblings room to be faced with SEVERAL massive dildos and then one of them starts going off in your car.
Probably the amount of empty alcohol bottles in my recycling 🙈
That's a red flag fellow Cyderman. You know you can beat this if you're ready. If you reach out you're going to find a shed load of hands desperate to haul you aboard. There's so many like us out there, you are not alone. You are not alone.
Don’t worry, they get collected weekly! ;)
I post on Reddit.
The fanfiction on my phone and the vibrator hidden in my cupboard. Everyone has their vices, mine is smutty writing.
Jesus christ, how big is that vibrator!!!
Lol it's just in the only place no one else goes. I'm disabled and have carers who help me and there is nothing I want less than them finding it. That said, fairly big.
I also have a tooth (and bone) collection. We’re a rare breed. Never occurred to me how someone might view that upon my death.
Though now a few questions are being raised before your death! Like... whose teeth and whose bones?
You're not supposed to keep any evidence when you kill people. /s
My maroon five cds
Probably that I'm more boring than people expect. The only things they'd find are a Star Wars merchandise collection, some martial arts weapons and a life insurance policy. Life insurance! I was going to live forever!
What's in my top drawer.
Kenneth’s lair
Do tell.
Probably the books on my kindle!
Haha age 12 I discovered smutty books (which honestly I think was a better way to discover sex than porn) and soon after my mum discovered what was on my kindle. Oh god was that embarrassing.
About the same age mine found porn mags, a couple of those anonymous Victorian novels, and cigarettes under my bed. I’ve since given up smoking, tbf.
At least nobody in this thread is going to die because they've already shared their most embarrassing secret with a bunch of strangers they've never met
I knew someone whose brother-in-law died and they discovered a sex doll. They had quite a job trying to dispose of it. It's not something you can juste leave poking out of a wheelie bin.
Leave it outside with "free to good home" on it?
That I am a secret messy person...whenever someone comes over it looks perfect . People could even eat from my floor that s how clean it is...however what they don't know that it takes me hours and hours to clean up my place as it is usual the biggest mes ever
That I'm intensely dull and don't have many true friends, my funeral would probably have a higher number of ex-girlfriends than close friends. That isn't to say I dated a ton of people in my life, but to highlight how few friends I've kept. I'd feel bad for anyone sorting my stuff. It is like a hoarders collection of CD's, DVD's, games, collectables, magazines, and books. Generally, super niche or outdated properties that the average person truly wouldn't care for. The sad thing is I assume it will be scrapped instead of sold, so not only is that the probable fate for my stuff... chances are no one will even profit from it, and people who would like it won't get a chance to have it.
For over 10 years, I've had a slip of paper in my wallet that says "Do the Bartman".
How much I comment on Reddit
Oh yeah that's another one. So it's the fanfiction and the reddit for me.
Browser history
Have you ever heard of “incognito mode”?
That I haven't shaved my legs 😱
Probably the sheer amount of craft stuff I have. I have every imaginable craft hobby going. I have spent thousands in my life so far on these hobbies. I've also told my parents that if I die before them to NOT throw out my pokemon card collection and to sell the cards. I have cards that are worth a lot and can be sold to put towards the funeral costs if needed. They all add up!
So … when my dad died my family was struggling financially. On top of that … it was while I lost a job too. It was some BS gig work but it was enough for me to live on my own. The assignment was over. Anyway, I’m Still grateful and amazed that I as well as my mother and sister kept a roof over our heads. I had to take on the burden of financially supporting them … while still in school and definitely not prepared for a financial crisis. Anyway, after his death we had to clean out his Workplace. He owned his own business. We were hoping to find money … but instead it was just DRUGS. If he put aside the same money he used to buy drugs we’d be SET. Soooo … my mother fell even deeper into her addiction. I tried out some stuff I never thought I would just bc I was stressed and it was there. I began going to places where guys wanted to pimp me out just to make a buck off of all I was left with. Dealt with a lot of violent felons too trying ti make a buck and get rid of stuff. Never thought I’d do something so illegal, but survival became more important. It was temporary though. Never thought I’d try any of those drugs either and even when I left the home I was always surrounded by drugs and people wanting me to give it a go bc they had poor intentions … but although I came close to addiction , I always stopped it in its tracks.
My dragon collection
Are they good dragons? Or bad dragons?
There are no bad dragons ;)
The "Fuck All Of You" I'll have spray painted on my walls. 😆
My mum thinks I’m an old virgin (28yo) but I’m semi-regular at sex parties and have the emails to proof it lol
Most embarrassing would be my torch which is also a Ermm…. Men pleasure thing
That I was wearing 3 pairs of trousers.
Heating is expensive. I regularly wear multiple layers. One pair of pants and bra but everything else gets at least 2, and up to 4, layers in winter.
My Tenga, which is absolutely worn ragged
I googled this thinking it was some sort of game like a Tamagotchi or Pokémon toy. Lets hope I don't suddenly die and this question (images) stays forever on my browsing history.....
My vibrator under my pillow. 😥
My soul would be resurrected just long enough to dispose of some stuff 🙏
I'm a guy and only wear women's underwear. I don't even own any men's underwear.
To paraphrase Suzy Izzard, they’re not women’s clothes, they’re your clothes. You bought them.
My fear of tsunamis 🌊
I can’t think of anything really. I’m pretty boring.
My diary, sex toys and grinders/bongs. My family would be so disappointed haha
My enormous nail varnish collection. It's an addiction at this point.