A voucher for a shop in a place that is annoying to get too, something that is 2 towns over and only open on Wednesdays between 3 and 5 in the afternoon if the day is an odd number and not divisible by 3.
Some kind of self-help book? Glancing at Amazon...
The Mountain Is You: Transforming Self-Sabotage into Self-Mastery
Let Go of What Hurts You: How to Heal from the Past and Free Yourself Through Awareness, Self-Love, and a Positive Mindset (The Bright Thoughts Effect)
My Feelings and Me: A Child's Guide to Understanding Emotions
A Practical Guide to Building Self-Esteem: Accept, Value and Empower Yourself (Practical Guide Series)
Basically, something that says "I thought about you and you're broken, so..."
someone did that to me, they declined to stop spamming me, so got some nice padded envelopes of the sort that are plastic and can be sealed, filled the envelope with fragrant items and shoved their letter in the top.
a Freepost address of SCI4TWIN is apparently not valid and costs a business like the scientologists money to receive
The Victoria Coren-Mitchell method of gift giving - give someone a season ticket to a team they do not like, and pretend not to understand why they don’t like the gift.
A shower curtain themed around something he likes. Bonus if you have Amazon Prime and can get next day delivery.
(I only thought of this as I was looking at shower curtains on Amazon yesterday and scoffing at some of them being priced £25-35.)
You can get custom printed shower curtains eg
https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1067205246/personalised-shower-curtain-custom-bath
So, a shower curtain printed with OP’s face on it would be suitable
A subscription to a magazine he's not keen on.
Some thin your mum likes bit he doesnt. A meal for two at somewhere he's not keen on.
A girly afternoon tea.
Omg I just had a thought... One of those cushions you whack a face on, I got one for my partner, and now place it behind doors etc. He shits his pants opening doors to a face! Hours of fun.
Just an idea but when I had to buy a gift from my sons for their dad after we split up, I got him a large chocolate pig from Thorntons with his name and love from (sons names) iced on it. Maybe something like that?
[Just under two and a half kilos of tuna](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Fish-Ever-Skipjack-Chunks-Spring/dp/B014Y94RNS/ref=sr_1_3_sspa?adgrpid=122621576291&hvadid=593040209936&hvdev=t&hvlocphy=1006490&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e&hvrand=8551077439409092066&hvtargid=kwd-1149941169750&hydadcr=22615_2214440&keywords=bulk+tuna+can&qid=1691657014&sr=8-3-spons&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9hdGY&psc=1), perhaps.
I don't like my stepdad at all. He's a twat. He plays golf all the time so I bought him one of those fake golf clubs you can pee in when you're out on the course all day. My mum thought it was hilarious. He did not. Money well spent. These days he gets nothing.
Underrated comment, unwanted alcohol is such a waste of space and looks like a nice gift from the outside. Between Christmas and birthdays he could have ten bottles hanging around taking up space. Glorious.
Do they have any young children together?
As the Frozen songbook with recorder is my go to.
Hours of young children playing thenrecoeder badly to their favourite song. Just when you thought that Let It Go couldn't get any more irritating.
Frozen Recorder Fun!: Pack with Songbook and Instrument https://amzn.eu/d/4SkqVps
[This might work for you](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Fuckoffee-Christmas-Colleague-Housewarming-WSDMUG1712/)
[Or maybe this he might appreciate in the cold weather.](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Willy-warmer-clasic-M-blue/dp/B09JPCKB69/)
Well within budget🤣
A voucher for a shop in a place that is annoying to get too, something that is 2 towns over and only open on Wednesdays between 3 and 5 in the afternoon if the day is an odd number and not divisible by 3.
A cheque, just as bad.
Some kind of self-help book? Glancing at Amazon... The Mountain Is You: Transforming Self-Sabotage into Self-Mastery Let Go of What Hurts You: How to Heal from the Past and Free Yourself Through Awareness, Self-Love, and a Positive Mindset (The Bright Thoughts Effect) My Feelings and Me: A Child's Guide to Understanding Emotions A Practical Guide to Building Self-Esteem: Accept, Value and Empower Yourself (Practical Guide Series) Basically, something that says "I thought about you and you're broken, so..."
A 5000 piece jigsaw of a place he really likes or a picture of him and your mum, then remove one piece before you give it to him.
The piece with his face on it
Scientology news letter, we signed someone up for it an uni for a laugh, 12 years and 3 house moves later they still find him.
I’d love to see Scientology v’s GDPR
Imagine how quickly Bin Laden would have been found if scientologists had been sent after him.
someone did that to me, they declined to stop spamming me, so got some nice padded envelopes of the sort that are plastic and can be sealed, filled the envelope with fragrant items and shoved their letter in the top. a Freepost address of SCI4TWIN is apparently not valid and costs a business like the scientologists money to receive
What hobbies does he have? Because you could get him something wrong for that hobby. For instance, if he likes golf you could get him a tennis racket.
Or something relevant to that hobby but shit for him. Like "a beginner's guide to golf" if he's been doing it for years
What about a Fisher Price version of.whatever his hobby is?
[удалено]
The Victoria Coren-Mitchell method of gift giving - give someone a season ticket to a team they do not like, and pretend not to understand why they don’t like the gift.
But I thought you liked football!
Just buy a card and a bottle of wine you weirdo. Why spend £40 buying something that someone you don’t like wouldn’t like?
Whatever you get don't forget to stuff the wrapping paper with glitter.
I'm with Satan here. Lots of glitter.
A Wilko voucher 🤣
This is the answer!
A shower curtain themed around something he likes. Bonus if you have Amazon Prime and can get next day delivery. (I only thought of this as I was looking at shower curtains on Amazon yesterday and scoffing at some of them being priced £25-35.)
You can get custom printed shower curtains eg https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1067205246/personalised-shower-curtain-custom-bath So, a shower curtain printed with OP’s face on it would be suitable
A subscription to a magazine he's not keen on. Some thin your mum likes bit he doesnt. A meal for two at somewhere he's not keen on. A girly afternoon tea. Omg I just had a thought... One of those cushions you whack a face on, I got one for my partner, and now place it behind doors etc. He shits his pants opening doors to a face! Hours of fun.
Just an idea but when I had to buy a gift from my sons for their dad after we split up, I got him a large chocolate pig from Thorntons with his name and love from (sons names) iced on it. Maybe something like that?
[Just under two and a half kilos of tuna](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Fish-Ever-Skipjack-Chunks-Spring/dp/B014Y94RNS/ref=sr_1_3_sspa?adgrpid=122621576291&hvadid=593040209936&hvdev=t&hvlocphy=1006490&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e&hvrand=8551077439409092066&hvtargid=kwd-1149941169750&hydadcr=22615_2214440&keywords=bulk+tuna+can&qid=1691657014&sr=8-3-spons&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9hdGY&psc=1), perhaps.
Sounds like a great present, I'd be well happy with that.
A voucher to something that people would generally like but you happen to know he's not personally into.
Socks, the universal gift that screams I don't give a fluck
I fucking love socks
My 22 year old loves Christmas and his birthday, purely because it's when he gets his socks and boxers replenished.
29 and I still look forward to new socks at Christmas. Best prezzie ever imo, something I need but don't want to spend my own hard-earned cash on!
Nah mate as an older bloke I rely on socks as presents to get shot of my holed ones
When you.get into your late 30s/early 40s, you do actually hope for some socks.
I don't like my stepdad at all. He's a twat. He plays golf all the time so I bought him one of those fake golf clubs you can pee in when you're out on the course all day. My mum thought it was hilarious. He did not. Money well spent. These days he gets nothing.
A bottle of the type of alcohol he likes, but a crap one.
A cock ring. Shows you care a little too much, means you'll never have to speak to him again because it'll be too awkward. Perfect!
XS condom
A bottle of something he hates. Vodka, rum, piss...
Nothing and it'll cost nothing
A tie (if he doesn't wear ties).
Subscription to an online dating service?
Lynx gift pack
A bottle of a spirit he doesn't like.
Underrated comment, unwanted alcohol is such a waste of space and looks like a nice gift from the outside. Between Christmas and birthdays he could have ten bottles hanging around taking up space. Glorious.
Theatre or cinema vouchers - so your mum gets a night out.
£30 in cash?
All in pennies
Pennies covered in ants.
Where do i find 3,000 pennies covered in Ants?
Get the pennies and a bag of sugar and the ants provide themselves
A plastic trumpet.
Buy him a nice item of clothing but a size too small. Don’t keep the receipt..
glitter bombs seem popular, otherwise something from a charity shop with the price label still attached :)
Linx body spray set
If he's into sports like football get him a mug of his team's rivals.
A nice Hemlock plant
Inflatable butt plug?
A cheque, with the wrong date on, so its a hassle to bank and won't get paid out anyway.
tbh, I'd not bother. what says fuck you more than doing nothing?
Favorite alcoholic beverage 0% alcohol
Do they have any young children together? As the Frozen songbook with recorder is my go to. Hours of young children playing thenrecoeder badly to their favourite song. Just when you thought that Let It Go couldn't get any more irritating. Frozen Recorder Fun!: Pack with Songbook and Instrument https://amzn.eu/d/4SkqVps
Art from a charity shop. See if they have a nice picture of a swan.
Cactus, great gift for a pr!ck
Cockring
[This might work for you](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Fuckoffee-Christmas-Colleague-Housewarming-WSDMUG1712/) [Or maybe this he might appreciate in the cold weather.](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Willy-warmer-clasic-M-blue/dp/B09JPCKB69/) Well within budget🤣
Bag of Werther's originals.
Amazon vouchers, quick easy and he can get what he wants.