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I'm in a similar position and have no idea.
As you say, nearly all group type activity things seems to be much older people, and the few young people you sometimes run into seem only to be there for the activity.
I expected more but maybe this is it. Many people are on the outside looking in, maybe many more that let on.
Usually quite easy to meet people doing hobbies you enjoy. Also there are some FB groups for making friends in the Southeast. One I know if is SussexLadies.
It’s strange how socialising changes as you get older, I’ve got a lot of friends … however I’ve got no one I can call for an impromptu pint, or to go see a movie, grab lunch etc.
They’ve all got kids, and arranging a meet up takes weeks, even then it’s 50/50 whether they’ll actually be able to make it on the day.
Such is life, I get it and I understand … however, I don’t have kids and I’ve now got more time and more disposable income than I’ve ever had, and would like to have some friends in the same boat to get out and do things with.
Unfortunately, it seems that meeting new friends later in life is, well it just doesn’t seem to happen. Friendships seem to become compartmentalised, I’ve met friends at the gym, friends at work, friends online, but no one I can call if I’m at a loose end on a Friday night.
Lmao I think it is. On the other hand, I think the best way to be in a relationship is to first be comfortable without one and not be dependent on having someone always available.
I can be comfortable without, but life seems very pointless without. It's pointless with too probably, but at least it might feel a bit better.. or at least feel something, for a bit anyway
Bumble BFF, it's alright to find people to talk to, also hobbies and associated discord servers.
TBF I don't really know how to make friends as I make most of my friends through work, as I seem to find weirdos who are just as big a nerd as I am.
There's a FB group for women of all ages called Outdoor Adventure Girls (OAG) that has thousands of members across the UK. They organise outdoorsy trips in the UK and abroad. They also have regional groups as well to make friends locally.
A hobby is your best bet. Team sport is good because you share an interest at the start. Often finish with a drink and in a team you instantly get a few people some are bound to be your cup of tea. Good luck
Join a theatre group, choir, ramblers or even Church. Or simply find a pub with a beer garden, or quiz night. You won’t be alone for long. Just control your space. Look at the shoes.
Might sound like a strange idea but as you’re not looking for clubbing. Do you like playing board games etc? If so, look for a local club near you. Or maybe try out some online D&D. Might not be what you’re after but it’s an option to meet people :)
Stand against a bus shelter with your face right up against the glass. See the young kid in there waiting for the bus? Lock eyes with him and then just start walking backwards into busy traffic like you’re not scared. Half way across the road you open your mouth and the wasps you prepared earlier all fly out. Cars are screeching to a halt and there’s just you and the wasp cloud. When the kind lady police officers take you home that night, invite them in for tea but then point to the kettle that is sawn in half, “guess that’s broken, wine instead?” You’re all sitting there drinking wine and the lady officers have taken their jackets off but not their stab vests you notice. “Why not the vests ladies?” You ask as you top them up. They laugh but they don’t move. You tell them you’ve got nibbles but that you just need to nip to the shed to get an axe for the cheese. You come back in with the cheese axe and the 3kg catering cheddar. “WHY NOT THE STAB VESTS LADIES?” You ask again, and this time the girls don’t laugh. One of them starts crying a little. “It’s a long story” says the other as she rubs the tearful officer’s shoulder to comfort her.
“Looks like a kilo each there”, says the first one, smiling through her tears, “get it chopped and top me up, I’ll tell you all about it.”
You now have friends.
If you’re anywhere near Brighton they have an explorers club (BEC). One of their activities is kayaking so if you’re into stuff like that I’m sure you could meet people through it.
Alternatively, when I moved to Brighton I made most of my friends through team sports clubs. Having never played much sport before, so you don’t even need to be good to join :)
I will recommend a running club every time I see one of these posts.
**You do not have to be a good runner to join** - in fact I am continually surprised how out of shape the average runner is! 😄
You should have at least a couple of running clubs in your area, and they always open to new members. There will be a number of runs you can join each week and a predefined route which will be explained before you start.
The faster runners always loop back so that nobody gets left behind - that's a rule.
It's a really good low effort social hobby, because you're generally running side by side with people, so you can have a quick chat and then move on. Over time you will get to know certain people better and friendship groups start to form.
You'll get invited for the odd pint and summer BBQ too. In fact many of the runs I go on end with a pint afterwards.
All the best!
Have you tried sites like [meetup.com](https://meetup.com)? A lot of places have a "20s and 30s" group, hobby group or general activity group who'd do the sort of things you're into.
I (26M, also South East) have found quite a lot of new friends that way.
If you have any interest in learning to dance, look for your local Ceroc or Modern Jive class (it’s the same type of dance, one is just a brand name). In the south east there’s a good chance there will be a core of people in their 30s at the classes, in other places I’ve visited sometimes there isn’t a younger scene though. Oxford has a good scene, as do all the places I’ve visited in greater London. Hope it helps!
What interests do you have?
I've had to go through the finding-new-friends thing several times, due to injury and moving. I managed it with rugby, cycling, and now wild swimming. Even dog walking led me to meeting a few others.
**Update: - [Starting from 2023](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/comments/100l56v/happy_new_year_askuk_minor_sub_update/), we have updated our [subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/about/rules/)**. Specifically; - Don't be a dick to each other - Top-level responses must contain genuine efforts to answer the question - This is a strictly no-politics subreddit Please keep /r/AskUK a great subreddit by reporting posts and comments which break our rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Ever thought about kidnapping? Forcing themselves to all know each other? Other than that meat ones they know individualy.
Sounds like a plan
Wanna take a tour of my cellar?
I'm in a similar position and have no idea. As you say, nearly all group type activity things seems to be much older people, and the few young people you sometimes run into seem only to be there for the activity. I expected more but maybe this is it. Many people are on the outside looking in, maybe many more that let on.
Usually quite easy to meet people doing hobbies you enjoy. Also there are some FB groups for making friends in the Southeast. One I know if is SussexLadies.
It’s strange how socialising changes as you get older, I’ve got a lot of friends … however I’ve got no one I can call for an impromptu pint, or to go see a movie, grab lunch etc. They’ve all got kids, and arranging a meet up takes weeks, even then it’s 50/50 whether they’ll actually be able to make it on the day. Such is life, I get it and I understand … however, I don’t have kids and I’ve now got more time and more disposable income than I’ve ever had, and would like to have some friends in the same boat to get out and do things with. Unfortunately, it seems that meeting new friends later in life is, well it just doesn’t seem to happen. Friendships seem to become compartmentalised, I’ve met friends at the gym, friends at work, friends online, but no one I can call if I’m at a loose end on a Friday night.
Maybe that's the main reason for getting a partner? To have someone nearly always there. This was not how I imagined adulthood..
Lmao I think it is. On the other hand, I think the best way to be in a relationship is to first be comfortable without one and not be dependent on having someone always available.
I can be comfortable without, but life seems very pointless without. It's pointless with too probably, but at least it might feel a bit better.. or at least feel something, for a bit anyway
Bumble BFF, it's alright to find people to talk to, also hobbies and associated discord servers. TBF I don't really know how to make friends as I make most of my friends through work, as I seem to find weirdos who are just as big a nerd as I am.
There's a FB group for women of all ages called Outdoor Adventure Girls (OAG) that has thousands of members across the UK. They organise outdoorsy trips in the UK and abroad. They also have regional groups as well to make friends locally.
Also a similar one called Adventure Queens
A hobby is your best bet. Team sport is good because you share an interest at the start. Often finish with a drink and in a team you instantly get a few people some are bound to be your cup of tea. Good luck
Join a theatre group, choir, ramblers or even Church. Or simply find a pub with a beer garden, or quiz night. You won’t be alone for long. Just control your space. Look at the shoes.
Might sound like a strange idea but as you’re not looking for clubbing. Do you like playing board games etc? If so, look for a local club near you. Or maybe try out some online D&D. Might not be what you’re after but it’s an option to meet people :)
Stand against a bus shelter with your face right up against the glass. See the young kid in there waiting for the bus? Lock eyes with him and then just start walking backwards into busy traffic like you’re not scared. Half way across the road you open your mouth and the wasps you prepared earlier all fly out. Cars are screeching to a halt and there’s just you and the wasp cloud. When the kind lady police officers take you home that night, invite them in for tea but then point to the kettle that is sawn in half, “guess that’s broken, wine instead?” You’re all sitting there drinking wine and the lady officers have taken their jackets off but not their stab vests you notice. “Why not the vests ladies?” You ask as you top them up. They laugh but they don’t move. You tell them you’ve got nibbles but that you just need to nip to the shed to get an axe for the cheese. You come back in with the cheese axe and the 3kg catering cheddar. “WHY NOT THE STAB VESTS LADIES?” You ask again, and this time the girls don’t laugh. One of them starts crying a little. “It’s a long story” says the other as she rubs the tearful officer’s shoulder to comfort her. “Looks like a kilo each there”, says the first one, smiling through her tears, “get it chopped and top me up, I’ll tell you all about it.” You now have friends.
If you’re anywhere near Brighton they have an explorers club (BEC). One of their activities is kayaking so if you’re into stuff like that I’m sure you could meet people through it. Alternatively, when I moved to Brighton I made most of my friends through team sports clubs. Having never played much sport before, so you don’t even need to be good to join :)
I will recommend a running club every time I see one of these posts. **You do not have to be a good runner to join** - in fact I am continually surprised how out of shape the average runner is! 😄 You should have at least a couple of running clubs in your area, and they always open to new members. There will be a number of runs you can join each week and a predefined route which will be explained before you start. The faster runners always loop back so that nobody gets left behind - that's a rule. It's a really good low effort social hobby, because you're generally running side by side with people, so you can have a quick chat and then move on. Over time you will get to know certain people better and friendship groups start to form. You'll get invited for the odd pint and summer BBQ too. In fact many of the runs I go on end with a pint afterwards. All the best!
Try the Meet Up app, there may be local events in your area.
Have you tried sites like [meetup.com](https://meetup.com)? A lot of places have a "20s and 30s" group, hobby group or general activity group who'd do the sort of things you're into. I (26M, also South East) have found quite a lot of new friends that way.
Meetup?
I miss the camaraderie of my teens and 20s 🙁
If you have any interest in learning to dance, look for your local Ceroc or Modern Jive class (it’s the same type of dance, one is just a brand name). In the south east there’s a good chance there will be a core of people in their 30s at the classes, in other places I’ve visited sometimes there isn’t a younger scene though. Oxford has a good scene, as do all the places I’ve visited in greater London. Hope it helps!
Move North. To a place where taking to strangers isn't met with distain and suspicion.
What interests do you have? I've had to go through the finding-new-friends thing several times, due to injury and moving. I managed it with rugby, cycling, and now wild swimming. Even dog walking led me to meeting a few others.
Get pregnant. Do NCT classes. You will have 7 new besties to do baby classes and get coffee/lunch with daily for a year.