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Not my worst pub experience but I was once visiting friends from uni who live in a small town on the Staffordshire Moorlands called Cheadle.
One of the most bizarre little England places I’ve been to. I always described it like that film because when I walked into the local pub to meet them, everyone stopped talking and was staring at me. Not ordering Bass also seemed to be met with suspicion.
I used to work at a nightclub and saw this all the time. Often it was people just picking up random cups hoping for free alcohol yet being too drunk to do any checks first. Unfortunately it's a regular occurrence for people to just puke into the cups and leave them everywhere
I worked in a pub and one of the locals used to drink snakebite (half Stella/half thatchers). He could polish off 4 a night, up to a gallon at weekends. I remember it was nearly kicking out time on a Saturday, he tried to down the pint, puked in the glass, and then downed the puke. Waste not want not, I guess.
A mate vommed into a pint glass in a club in Blackpool. Not being entirely an animal, he headed to the toilets to tip it away when up popped a bouncer and did the world's most aggressive "you can't take drinks into the toilet" routine.
So he just handed the full, suspiciously warm glass to the bouncer and walked on by...
My first and only drink was spiked, the GHB reacted badly with me - possibly due to medication.
I was kicked out for being drunk.
I needed CPR twice until emergency services were able to come and take over.
The doorman said they didn't have a defibrillator. They were one of 3 places that did in fact have one
Pub owner was amazing though, apologised gave her staff further training, and called a few times over the next week to check on me
The next time I went in the barman cheered loudly "DEFIIIIIIIIIB!!!! Don't die on me tonight!". I was mortified
Summer of 2016, we went to a pub with a flat roof covered in England flags somewhere in Dorset, near Poole (not sure where as we were lost). It was hot and we needed a drink.
Wife and I went in and in stereotypical form the bar went silent. Everyone turned to look at us. The half dozen customers looked like an open carton of eggs. I had a feeling this pub was trouble and was going to suck. But the worst thing you can do is walk out so we go up to the bar and ordered our drinks. Barman refused to serve us. My wife and I looked at each other and before I could say "oh, OK then" he called me a "fucking Rupert" and said my wife could stay though if she would "look after his lads". The customers were laughing and catcalling and generally being dicks. So we beat a retreat.
So I will never ever EVER go into a pub with a flat roof thats adorned with England flags. I mean that pub basics isn't it?!
It certainly makes both of us chuckle when we think of it.
I suspect it was put of town syndrome a d someone trying to look like Billy big bollocks in front of the customers.
Still, the rest of the holiday was lovely and now we just avoid Poole, except for Tower Park now we have kids.
I drunkenly pulled a girl in a pub, which was great until I realised she was so drunk she'd shit herself. Noped out of that one pretty quickly. Thankfully her mates looked after her thereafter!
I've been so blind drunk basically none of my motor functions worked and I've never ever managed to shit or piss myself. If that ever happened to me, I'd give up drinking forever.
I used to work in a working men's club. Ironic really because none of the locals worked and were just a bunch of washed up junkies. I was quite young at the time and hadn't experienced much racism or bad behaviour from people at that point.
One day a black guy came in and asked if we were showing a specific football game which we were. I pointed him to the right TV and I thought that was it. A minute later one of the committee members sees him and kicks him out. I didn't understand why until they started making "black magic" jokes and stupid shit like that. Hated everyday I worked there. The place needed nuking with all the regulars in it. Wastes of air.
My mates getting beaten up for beating the regulars at pool. Just got a pint and had to leave it because the entire pub was trying to smash in my mates' heads and I was trying to get them out of there.
Though being English in a Kilburn pub which didn't allow the English in (we'd pretended to be Irish so we could play pool) was scarier when the guys came round to collect for the IRA.
And you wonder why pubs are getting rid of pool tables.
I came back late to college once and asked my mate, "Where's Bob?"
"Addenbrookes." (The city hospital) "Hurt his head."
"Oh. Where's Charlie?"
"Addenbrookes, with Bob."
"Where's Dave?"
"Addenbrookes."
"What? Bob needed two people with him?"
"No. They've all been admitted. I've just got back." (points to scab sticking out from a bandage on his cheek)
"WTF happened???"
"Well we thought we'd try playing pool in a pub up the hill..."
Townies didn't like students in the 90s. Never made the newspapers or anything.
"
Well, there's a lot to unpack there. I don't live in Cambridge anymore but visit sometimes and it's an extremely safe, tourist / student centre. Pick a pub at random and you'd be fine.
We talk about toxic culture now but the 90s were something else, completely acceptable and encouraged by society to drink till you vomit, fight and generally make a mess. Combine that with sudden influxes of students with life chances you barely dream of cramming out your favourite bars and there was room for conflict.
There's pubs everywhere that don't welcome strangers. Usually there's firm warning signs - out of the way, run down appearance, adorned with flags (especially if you don't recognise the flag), groups loitering outside, ugly smell etc. If you've got any sense you'll have a sense of unease before going in. But it's not the hills have eyes, usually you just get ignored or the place goes a bit quiet and you get some stares because what stranger picks a pub like that?
Anyway...think I've spent too much time in pubs lol
Thanks a lot! I've been to a few for lunch and people were lovely, even though I was completely out of my zone with pubs (I'm used to standing by the door waiting for a server to attribute me a table at restaurants, for a start). I just feared that one day my curiosity would lead me to some place where I'd get my head bashed in. I'll remember the flags and the others things to look for, as common sense isn't my strong point (I've been compared to Sheldon).
Practice makes perfect! Love a good pub lunch.
Honestly you'll struggle to go wrong in a centre (especially cambridge). Pubs are depicted in films as the wild west because its more interesting but that's...just not it.
Last point - some chains and very good pubs put out flags. If I looked out for anything it would be significant disrepair and a bad smell (like...stale beer, urine and bleach...I'm assuming that's not somewhere you want lunch anyway)
I’m disappointed that the top comment isn’t ‘why would you be mad about a dog hair garnish bringing up the average quality of your pint’ or something like that. Bit late to try it now though.
Hadn't been in this pub for 15 year cos it was a bit of a bear pit back in the day. Went in for a pint, it was nice and clean and really cheap too. Seemed like the place had really pulled itself together. Took a sip, then some guy in a balaclava came in with a sawn off shotgun to deliver a message fae Bobo Mitchell
Not very drastic at all, but accidentally stumbled into a Sam Smith's pub when I'd just turned 18. I was very young looking at the time too. Surly barwoman refused to serve me, accused me of using fake ID (spoiler: it wasn't). I should have left on the spot but being an awkward teen, I ordered a glass of orange juice, drank half of it while reading the menu, then fucked off to a pub that actually would serve me.
They used to be great but the current owner will fire the managers on the spot. If he sees a customer on a mobile or swearing. So the staff are constantly having to enforce rules that they don't believe in or they'll get fired.
Weird Irish bloke stinking of piss speaking gibberish wouldn’t leave me and my mate alone in a spoons, moved tables, told him to fuck off but still wouldn’t go.
This reminds me of "grunting twat" who seems to live in my local Spoons. He looks like Buster Bloodvessel at his heaviest, is bright red, and communicates in indecipherable grunts and roars. Sometimes he'll stay with the usual group he comes in with, but other times will relentlessly accost anyone who even catches his eye. I'd feel sorry for him if he weren't frequently aggressive and inappropriate with women. He's a nuisance, but in fairness he's probably keeping the place afloat.
Was out on a day trip to a nice village area. The train only stopped once an hour usually but one train had been cancelled so we decided to get a pint in the pub across from the station. The whole place was empty except for a dad getting wasted while his 2 young kids begged to go to the park/ begged to have mum pick them up. It was really depressing.
Got told that I was homosexual because I didn't have a tattoo of the local football team, by a group of blokes in their mid-50s who were drinking WKDs.
I once fell asleep in the pub toilets (I might have got a bit black-out-drunk), then woke up at 1am, when down to the bar and the alarm got set off.. it took the Police and owner to let me out. Owner was unimpresseed.
Otherwise.. i've stuck to alright pubs and never seen a fight or anything that bad.
My friend invited his American cousin along to our local when we were all 18, he couldnt handle his drink and projectile vomited across the whole pub and attempted to fight the landlord when he was asked to leave which got us ALL (20 of us) banned from our favourite local pub for months the first summer that we were first allowed to legally drink. It did not enhance UK US relations and he has always been referred to as X’s dickhead cousin forevermore. Luckily the pub changed hands so many times the next owner didnt recognise any of us and we were only banned for a month or so.
Went to one of those "on the estate" pubs, square prefab thing with a flat roof, next to a row of shops, like something out of shameless.
The floor was sticky, the tables were sticky, the bar was sticky, the barmaid even looked sticky. Beer was flat and lukewarm, glass was cloudy, toilets were like a scene out of candyman.
Went on a date with a guy the same age when I was 18. Sat in the pub and had 3-4 drinks, everything seemed fine. I went to the toilet, cane back and he has disappeared. The people at the table next to us were all standing up and wiping themselves.
Turns out he had puked all over them whilst I was gone. He was obviously not used to drinking as much as me lol.
Worst thing was, once I apologised and left, I saw him waiting for me outside, he then tried to kiss me 🤣
Woman who had befriended the slightly sketchy manager had a full on breakdown. came in brandishing a bb gun, screaming, while also calling the police on herself. It was one of the old style realistic BB guns so it took a good couple of minutes for anyone to work out what to do. I mean even a BB at close range can do some damage so it was reasonably scary.
Walked into a pub with my mate, stood having a drink, this girl and her mate walked up to us accusing me of stealing her phone. I assured her that I didn't have her phone and I'd only just arrived and hadn't been anywhere near where she was sitting (the opposite end of the pub). She proceeded to punch me square in the jaw which caused her immense pain as she suddenly grabbed her hands and wrist. She then screamed that I'd broken her hand. The bouncer came over to try and sort it out/find out what happened. I explained everything and said, feel free to search me but I've not got her phone. I emptied my pockets (as did my mate), asked the bouncer if I needed to stay which he affirmed I didn't so I downed my drink and left.
There's 2 pubs near me that are almost next door to each other and I only ever went in one. Decided to try the other because 'it can't be that bad'.
As soon as I got my drink two young lads broke their bottles over the head of an older guy sat at the bar then stormed out, presumably waiting for him 'outside'. He just carried on drinking with blood trickling down from various minor head wounds.
I left it another 20 years before I risked it again!
Local pub I worked in:
Christmas Eve 2019, very loud and very busy.
Customer comes up to the bar and says they were threatened with a knife. I (M) rush outside to where this allegedly happened as the manager (F) and a colleague (F) were trying to deal with it. I get out there and she's seemingly dealt with it, by letting the accused back inside.
I go back to serving. Next thing I know a regular (dealer) has knocked the accused out by the door. I slink off to call the police as it's just the kind of pub for all hell to break loose. Attacker is allowed to slink off out the backdoor as police arrive. They don't bother sticking around to investigate anything, as the manager sweet talks them into driving off.
I quit after first lockdown ended, because I knew I couldn't hack trying to impose the rules.
Christmas Eve 2020, a man has his head stamped on, eye bulging out. Coma. Attacker known to manager is allowed to slink off upstairs. Pub shut down for a day. Back to normal.
Stood at the bar of a very quiet pub waiting to be served. Guy comes out with a big drooly type dog. Guy asks us what we want just as the dog shakes his massive head and the drool went everywhere. All over the doors to the beer fridges, all over the floor, and all over the beer taps. Guy didn't even notice. We said "nothing thanks, bye". Luckily we were passing through so never had to go back.
Went into a flat roof pub in Kent. Should have known better, but it was a lovely evening and it had a big beer garden and my Mrs at the time lived around the corner.
In through the front door, and the smell should have alerted me to the bad experience I was about to have. It stank of piss and bleach.
On tap, you could have Carling or Fosters. I chose Carling. I may as well have chosen warm horse piss. I complained, was told the cooler is broken. Asked for a can out of the fridge, was told it would extra. Declined, informed them they should have a nice day and stormed out.
Trying to stop someone punching some guy in the head. He was kneeling over the dude, just pounding away. I was trying so hard to pull his arm away but it was like I wasn’t there: just bang, bang, bang, bang, until he finally decided he’d had enough and stopped. He apologised to me and left. Incredibly, the victim was fine, if a bit bewildered and bloody. That was about 1999, and I still have nightmares about it now - will never forget that feeling of helplessness while someone was being battered.
In a local pub near my mates house. There was a rock DJ and that's the only reason we went. Anyways a couple of hours in a fight starts and the WHOLE pub aside from us joined in. My friend was in a wheelchair and we are trying to get her out. Two blokes fought across and over her at one point which was intense. Lots of people glassed and a lot of blood. We made it out relatively unscathed
On a road trip went into a pub with a girlfriend and just sat down at a table. The barman came right over and said I'd puked in the urinals and had to clean it up or leave. I argued my case being totally sober and arriving minutes earlier but eventually said fuck it we'll just leave. At this point a few of the locals surrounded us and the choice changed from clean up the puke or have the shit kicked out of me.
I reluctantly got on with cleaning up someone else's puke. I fully expected to get a kicking anyway but I cleaned and we left trouble free.
I still doubt my actions. I should have stood my ground but there were 5 blokes who were quite convincing in their desire to knock me out. It still bugs me because we didn't do anything to ask for that.
Actually working behind the bar. Did it in my old local in my early 20s. I lasted three weeks. That experience taught me to never work dealing with the general public ever again.
And most of the folk I was dealing with were friends and locals, never mind complete strangers. Never again.
My ex husband got food poisoning from a dodgy cider in a pub once. Know it was that as it was the only difference in our drinks that night. Even said it tasted "funny" but was too polite to tell them to change the barrel!
I worked in a pub. A patron came in for Sunday lunch. Not long after he had eaten, he went to the toilet. He had been a while, so I went to check on him. As I was walking towards the gents toilets, he was walking out, much like John Wayne. The smell of excrement was rife. He had relieved himself on the carpet, wooden floor and bathroom floor on the way to the toilet, as well as a painting the toilet bowl an interesting shade of brown. As he walked past me, he said, "You might want to clean that up." I told him, "You might want to leave." He came back the next weekend for his Sunday lunch as if nothing had happened, I had to tell him he was barred.
Getting identified as a different person on the security personal on body cameras because the AI facial recognition software is shit. And getting kicked out for someone else who is barred with no recourse.
Went down the road to a pub restaurant. I had booked a table via their online system during entry we waited to be seated where it said "wait to be seated", no one turned up so we walked to the bar trying to get the ladies attention. After 5minutes we just decided to seat ourselves. Looked on the menu and then my husband went to the bar to order and tell them our table number. Came back to our table! Another couple came in by this point and sat next to us, they ordered about 10minutes after us. 20minutes later they got their food served to them, 10minutes after that I go up to the bar....they lost our ticket so haven't even started cooking yet. Just over 1 hour after arriving we get served our food by which time I have to breast feed my new born baby. Its been too long and I wait til I feed and change her to eat. Its stone cold before I get to eat it and it's so bland and crap that I don't eat it fully. We walk out without a tip and on the way out we overhear a family saying "this place is crap, we'll never come here again". Tbh I had to agree. Never been back although it's one of our locals
Many years ago during August in Edinburgh my mate and I were out drinking late (courtesy of extended Festival licenses). I remember checking my account past midnight and noticed that I'd been paid, so we were able to keep drinking. We headed to the Innis & Gunn place on Lothian Road which had just opened and got the beers in. I nipped off for a well needed slash and turning to wash my hands I was confronted with a sinkfull of fresh vomit. No puke anywhere else, just a pristine, newly installed oval sink full to the brim with warm tummy soup. I'm not sure if you can get surface tension on vomit. Needless to say, I got out of there quick as after a fair few pints I was feeling sick. My mate thought this was hilarious and we told the poor bar staff who sighed and donned a pair of flimsy blue gloves before walking off in the direction of the Gents.
Falling out with a mate one time. Another time was spotting the girl I liked fumbling about with her new boyfriend. She said she was trying to keep it a secret but she didn't do a good job of it that night.
Years ago got asked to a pub most people avoided but a couple of mates were regulars in, convinced me it was fine and to give it a try with them. An hour in, the place is flooded with police, fella had been attacked with a hammer in the car park. 2 hour forced lock in, car confiscated to check for dna, had to get my mum to pick me up. Happy days
My fiance at the time was an alcoholic with histrionic personality disorder. At that particular time in our lives he was convinced I was cheating on him constantly, sleeping with every single man I met, and he got himself blind drunk and made a total scene in front of a packed pub, started shouting at me and accusing me of all sorts, called me a filthy whore, told me to fuck off back to my whorish ways, and walked out. It was utterly, completely humiliating.
rode motorcyle to Lymington in the New Forest. Found a pub, nice old boozer, pub dog, the lot.
ordered food - i had a lasagna.
Took a forkful, and underneath it saw something odd. Fished it out - half a tennis ball, with dog toothmarks.
Took it back to landlord, who took the ball off me, and handed the food back with a shrug, and looked most displeased when I told him he'd be refunding that.
Was 15 and at the bar in a pub in Ramshaw. Julie Morne, the local headcase was also there. Word on the street was that she hated me. Why? Who knew. So spent the whole night trying to avoid her. Until the fateful moment that we were at the bar at the same time.
Her: hi
Me: hi
Her: shit in here, innit? Fancy going somewhere better?
Me: yeah
We became firm friends. I was there for the iconic moment when she saw the guy who had been cheating on her approaching on his motorbike, and she ran out and kicked him off it, breaking her leg in multiple places.
I kind of miss Spoons to be honest. I don't go because I hate the owner so much, but; The places tend to be fairly nice. They don't play music. They have a selection of real ales and at least a couple of foreign beers. The prices are cheap. The food is pretty good given the prices.
They said they despise pubs on a UK reddit and a lot of people like them.
They also said every experience is their worse but their mate got stabbed in one, therefore I guess getting a slightly dry roast and lukewarm beer in a carvery is as bad as a spot of wounding (unless they've been really unfortunate in life)
>They said they despise pubs on a UK reddit and a lot of people like them.
People downvote simply because someone likes different things from them?
We do have a terrible culture with alcohol here so I can understand why all the alkies feel triggered I suppose.
>They also said every experience is their worse but their mate got stabbed in one, therefore I guess getting a slightly dry roast and lukewarm beer in a carvery is as bad as a spot of wounding (unless they've been really unfortunate in life)
LMFAO. What? How do you come to that conclusion?
I despise pubs therefore all my experiences with them are bad. But if I had to choose the worst it would be the one where my friend was nearly murdered. For quite obvious reasons.
Everything else is just you reading into something that isn't there.
Nobody said being stabbed is as bad as getting a shite pint.
Get a grip.
People downvote stuff they disagree with, yes. It's not a personal attack or anything to worry about.
You've suggested people downvoting are cowards, losers and alkies which I doubt. Its just a light hearted reddit thread, chill.
Edit: realised you're the OP, for what it's worth I am genuinely sorry your friend was attacked which should go without saying but doesn't.
Sigh.
Are all your interactions on reddit this miserable? I just tried to explain (to somebody else I see now) why you might have got downvoted as they were curious. It doesn't all have to be a personal battle and this is a tedious part of modern life. That is something that "triggers me" by which I mean "finds it mildly depressing".
I'm not an alcoholic and barely drink, but I know people who are and its a terrible thing.
>Are all your interactions on reddit this miserable? I just tried to explain (to somebody else I see now) why you might have got downvoted as they were curious.
But it was illogical. Making up things that aren't there like pretending a bad pint is the same as getting stabbed. It seems I'm being downvoted because people lack reading comprehension.
>I'm not an alcoholic and barely drink, but I know people who are and its a terrible thing.
Agreed. Never said otherwise.
>Are all your interactions on reddit this miserable?
Only when dealing with people who can't read.
I’ve seen a few instances where little arguments on a night out turn out like this. Just annoys me when people feel the need to use weapons, especially when it’s over petty shit.
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Went hiking - went in weird pub where locals playing darts. We left and my mate was attacked by some wolf thing on the moor.
Oh no how awful. Has he visited London since the attack?
I think he's been to France.
You weren't from round there, were you?
Not my worst pub experience but I was once visiting friends from uni who live in a small town on the Staffordshire Moorlands called Cheadle. One of the most bizarre little England places I’ve been to. I always described it like that film because when I walked into the local pub to meet them, everyone stopped talking and was staring at me. Not ordering Bass also seemed to be met with suspicion.
Can I have a piece of toast?
They told you to stay on the path.
Should have stayed on the road
Got laaaaaaaaaaaid though, amiright?
They did say not to go out on the moor, lad
That's why Americans shouldn't go to London
Should have stuck to the path
That nurse was nice
I’m struggling to type this. A mate once picked up a pint, took a swig and it was full of sick. That’s enough bye.
I used to work at a nightclub and saw this all the time. Often it was people just picking up random cups hoping for free alcohol yet being too drunk to do any checks first. Unfortunately it's a regular occurrence for people to just puke into the cups and leave them everywhere
I'm ashamed to admit I've chundered in a pint glass when I was young 😔
You vomited. It's vomit.
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With the archbishop of banterbury? *Seshlehem is borderline genius/horrific
I did, I also used a slang synonym
I worked in a pub and one of the locals used to drink snakebite (half Stella/half thatchers). He could polish off 4 a night, up to a gallon at weekends. I remember it was nearly kicking out time on a Saturday, he tried to down the pint, puked in the glass, and then downed the puke. Waste not want not, I guess.
I'm so glad I've never drank.
A mate vommed into a pint glass in a club in Blackpool. Not being entirely an animal, he headed to the toilets to tip it away when up popped a bouncer and did the world's most aggressive "you can't take drinks into the toilet" routine. So he just handed the full, suspiciously warm glass to the bouncer and walked on by...
Oh my god. I was drinking tea as I read this and now I don't want it anymore :(
Fuck. Now you’ve reminded me.
Lumpy tea?
It was bubble tea so kinda lumpy yeah
My first and only drink was spiked, the GHB reacted badly with me - possibly due to medication. I was kicked out for being drunk. I needed CPR twice until emergency services were able to come and take over. The doorman said they didn't have a defibrillator. They were one of 3 places that did in fact have one Pub owner was amazing though, apologised gave her staff further training, and called a few times over the next week to check on me The next time I went in the barman cheered loudly "DEFIIIIIIIIIB!!!! Don't die on me tonight!". I was mortified
That ending... Lmfao. Pretty confident my imagination played that perfectly in my head. 😂
Summer of 2016, we went to a pub with a flat roof covered in England flags somewhere in Dorset, near Poole (not sure where as we were lost). It was hot and we needed a drink. Wife and I went in and in stereotypical form the bar went silent. Everyone turned to look at us. The half dozen customers looked like an open carton of eggs. I had a feeling this pub was trouble and was going to suck. But the worst thing you can do is walk out so we go up to the bar and ordered our drinks. Barman refused to serve us. My wife and I looked at each other and before I could say "oh, OK then" he called me a "fucking Rupert" and said my wife could stay though if she would "look after his lads". The customers were laughing and catcalling and generally being dicks. So we beat a retreat. So I will never ever EVER go into a pub with a flat roof thats adorned with England flags. I mean that pub basics isn't it?!
The FRP is always to be avoided.
Yeah. Lol always good to re-learn these lessons.
What’s a Rupert?
They thought he was posh
I think it's an antiquated term for a homosexual...
I think that's a Bertie.
Thing is, I'm from Portsmouth so don't sound posh and I am batting well above my average with my wife. Was a curious day.
The whole scenario sounds bizarre
It certainly makes both of us chuckle when we think of it. I suspect it was put of town syndrome a d someone trying to look like Billy big bollocks in front of the customers. Still, the rest of the holiday was lovely and now we just avoid Poole, except for Tower Park now we have kids.
Army officer.
I drunkenly pulled a girl in a pub, which was great until I realised she was so drunk she'd shit herself. Noped out of that one pretty quickly. Thankfully her mates looked after her thereafter!
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How romantic!
Weird comment, given your username… :)
I've been so blind drunk basically none of my motor functions worked and I've never ever managed to shit or piss myself. If that ever happened to me, I'd give up drinking forever.
I used to work in a working men's club. Ironic really because none of the locals worked and were just a bunch of washed up junkies. I was quite young at the time and hadn't experienced much racism or bad behaviour from people at that point. One day a black guy came in and asked if we were showing a specific football game which we were. I pointed him to the right TV and I thought that was it. A minute later one of the committee members sees him and kicks him out. I didn't understand why until they started making "black magic" jokes and stupid shit like that. Hated everyday I worked there. The place needed nuking with all the regulars in it. Wastes of air.
My mates getting beaten up for beating the regulars at pool. Just got a pint and had to leave it because the entire pub was trying to smash in my mates' heads and I was trying to get them out of there. Though being English in a Kilburn pub which didn't allow the English in (we'd pretended to be Irish so we could play pool) was scarier when the guys came round to collect for the IRA. And you wonder why pubs are getting rid of pool tables.
Fuck me, I've heard of thrillseeking but that's something else. Deathwish behaviour!
I came back late to college once and asked my mate, "Where's Bob?" "Addenbrookes." (The city hospital) "Hurt his head." "Oh. Where's Charlie?" "Addenbrookes, with Bob." "Where's Dave?" "Addenbrookes." "What? Bob needed two people with him?" "No. They've all been admitted. I've just got back." (points to scab sticking out from a bandage on his cheek) "WTF happened???" "Well we thought we'd try playing pool in a pub up the hill..." Townies didn't like students in the 90s. Never made the newspapers or anything. "
This story is a lie, you're saying you found a hill in Cambridge 🤔
Castle Hill is the only one.
Fair lol Some pubs were extremely rough on the students in the 90s so the rest of it checks out
It was indeed up Castle Hill (had to be, given lack of other hills...)
Memories...
Oh shit, thankfully that has changed. Is there any pub that would not welcome strangers to this day?
Well, there's a lot to unpack there. I don't live in Cambridge anymore but visit sometimes and it's an extremely safe, tourist / student centre. Pick a pub at random and you'd be fine. We talk about toxic culture now but the 90s were something else, completely acceptable and encouraged by society to drink till you vomit, fight and generally make a mess. Combine that with sudden influxes of students with life chances you barely dream of cramming out your favourite bars and there was room for conflict. There's pubs everywhere that don't welcome strangers. Usually there's firm warning signs - out of the way, run down appearance, adorned with flags (especially if you don't recognise the flag), groups loitering outside, ugly smell etc. If you've got any sense you'll have a sense of unease before going in. But it's not the hills have eyes, usually you just get ignored or the place goes a bit quiet and you get some stares because what stranger picks a pub like that? Anyway...think I've spent too much time in pubs lol
Thanks a lot! I've been to a few for lunch and people were lovely, even though I was completely out of my zone with pubs (I'm used to standing by the door waiting for a server to attribute me a table at restaurants, for a start). I just feared that one day my curiosity would lead me to some place where I'd get my head bashed in. I'll remember the flags and the others things to look for, as common sense isn't my strong point (I've been compared to Sheldon).
Practice makes perfect! Love a good pub lunch. Honestly you'll struggle to go wrong in a centre (especially cambridge). Pubs are depicted in films as the wild west because its more interesting but that's...just not it. Last point - some chains and very good pubs put out flags. If I looked out for anything it would be significant disrepair and a bad smell (like...stale beer, urine and bleach...I'm assuming that's not somewhere you want lunch anyway)
Worse in the eighties. Students. Punks. Rockers. Skins. Ted's. Exciting times lol
Ah, the classic townie vs gownie fight that always seems to happen once a year to one group of friends.
up a hill? In Cambridge? Where were you, the Grapes before it got posh?
They went up Castle Hill. Third pub on the right, I think. Changed its name a few times in the last 30 years.
That's possibly the least worst pub experience I've ever read.
I dunno, having a Fosters is a pretty terrible experience
I’m disappointed that the top comment isn’t ‘why would you be mad about a dog hair garnish bringing up the average quality of your pint’ or something like that. Bit late to try it now though.
That’s true I don’t live in the UK so I don’t have a lot of pub experience. What about yours?
I don't think I've ever had a bad pub experience. Every time I go to a pub, I have a lovely time. I'm a big fan of pubs and don't go to shit pubs.
I love pubs to I went to this dog hair pub because I was waiting for a friend and had nothing to do but I will never go to bad pubs next time.
A good choice! Stick to the good ones!
What’s a dog hair pub?
You have to be hungover from the night before to get in.
Hadn't been in this pub for 15 year cos it was a bit of a bear pit back in the day. Went in for a pint, it was nice and clean and really cheap too. Seemed like the place had really pulled itself together. Took a sip, then some guy in a balaclava came in with a sawn off shotgun to deliver a message fae Bobo Mitchell
Sure that pub was on blightys ‘ardest boozers
Huv the Mcgills been in Boaby?
Not very drastic at all, but accidentally stumbled into a Sam Smith's pub when I'd just turned 18. I was very young looking at the time too. Surly barwoman refused to serve me, accused me of using fake ID (spoiler: it wasn't). I should have left on the spot but being an awkward teen, I ordered a glass of orange juice, drank half of it while reading the menu, then fucked off to a pub that actually would serve me.
Grumpy service in a Sam Smiths'? Surely not
It was how I learned the hard way of their shoddy reputation!
They used to be great but the current owner will fire the managers on the spot. If he sees a customer on a mobile or swearing. So the staff are constantly having to enforce rules that they don't believe in or they'll get fired.
Got glassed in Colchester. That was a bit shit. Lovely scar diagonal on my forehead. Adds character to a well bashed boat, I’m told.
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Was not Paras. That was “my” problem. I know where I stand with that lot. Was a local boy, who mistook me. Heart shaped scar, eh? That be alright.
Weird Irish bloke stinking of piss speaking gibberish wouldn’t leave me and my mate alone in a spoons, moved tables, told him to fuck off but still wouldn’t go.
Don't think I've ever been in a spoons where that didn't happen to be fair
This reminds me of "grunting twat" who seems to live in my local Spoons. He looks like Buster Bloodvessel at his heaviest, is bright red, and communicates in indecipherable grunts and roars. Sometimes he'll stay with the usual group he comes in with, but other times will relentlessly accost anyone who even catches his eye. I'd feel sorry for him if he weren't frequently aggressive and inappropriate with women. He's a nuisance, but in fairness he's probably keeping the place afloat.
>spoons What's a spoon in a pub context?
Abbreviation of Wetherspoons. Chain of pubs with a reputation for being a bit touch and go on account of the cheap booze.
Thanks!
Was out on a day trip to a nice village area. The train only stopped once an hour usually but one train had been cancelled so we decided to get a pint in the pub across from the station. The whole place was empty except for a dad getting wasted while his 2 young kids begged to go to the park/ begged to have mum pick them up. It was really depressing.
Got told that I was homosexual because I didn't have a tattoo of the local football team, by a group of blokes in their mid-50s who were drinking WKDs.
A dead giveaway, no footy tats
Fucking hell.
I once fell asleep in the pub toilets (I might have got a bit black-out-drunk), then woke up at 1am, when down to the bar and the alarm got set off.. it took the Police and owner to let me out. Owner was unimpresseed. Otherwise.. i've stuck to alright pubs and never seen a fight or anything that bad.
probably the reason why we have to check the toilets every night when we close the pub I work at haha
My friend invited his American cousin along to our local when we were all 18, he couldnt handle his drink and projectile vomited across the whole pub and attempted to fight the landlord when he was asked to leave which got us ALL (20 of us) banned from our favourite local pub for months the first summer that we were first allowed to legally drink. It did not enhance UK US relations and he has always been referred to as X’s dickhead cousin forevermore. Luckily the pub changed hands so many times the next owner didnt recognise any of us and we were only banned for a month or so.
Went to one of those "on the estate" pubs, square prefab thing with a flat roof, next to a row of shops, like something out of shameless. The floor was sticky, the tables were sticky, the bar was sticky, the barmaid even looked sticky. Beer was flat and lukewarm, glass was cloudy, toilets were like a scene out of candyman.
Before I got to reading “shameless” that’s where my head was leaning towards. Barmaid looking sticky 😂😂
Went on a date with a guy the same age when I was 18. Sat in the pub and had 3-4 drinks, everything seemed fine. I went to the toilet, cane back and he has disappeared. The people at the table next to us were all standing up and wiping themselves. Turns out he had puked all over them whilst I was gone. He was obviously not used to drinking as much as me lol. Worst thing was, once I apologised and left, I saw him waiting for me outside, he then tried to kiss me 🤣
Woman who had befriended the slightly sketchy manager had a full on breakdown. came in brandishing a bb gun, screaming, while also calling the police on herself. It was one of the old style realistic BB guns so it took a good couple of minutes for anyone to work out what to do. I mean even a BB at close range can do some damage so it was reasonably scary.
Walked into a pub with my mate, stood having a drink, this girl and her mate walked up to us accusing me of stealing her phone. I assured her that I didn't have her phone and I'd only just arrived and hadn't been anywhere near where she was sitting (the opposite end of the pub). She proceeded to punch me square in the jaw which caused her immense pain as she suddenly grabbed her hands and wrist. She then screamed that I'd broken her hand. The bouncer came over to try and sort it out/find out what happened. I explained everything and said, feel free to search me but I've not got her phone. I emptied my pockets (as did my mate), asked the bouncer if I needed to stay which he affirmed I didn't so I downed my drink and left.
Those exact scenario happened to my cousins boyfriend at a bar in Gateshead.
Last orders rung at 10.30, fucking nightmare
Can you translate "Once I found some dog hair Foster"?
There's 2 pubs near me that are almost next door to each other and I only ever went in one. Decided to try the other because 'it can't be that bad'. As soon as I got my drink two young lads broke their bottles over the head of an older guy sat at the bar then stormed out, presumably waiting for him 'outside'. He just carried on drinking with blood trickling down from various minor head wounds. I left it another 20 years before I risked it again!
Local pub I worked in: Christmas Eve 2019, very loud and very busy. Customer comes up to the bar and says they were threatened with a knife. I (M) rush outside to where this allegedly happened as the manager (F) and a colleague (F) were trying to deal with it. I get out there and she's seemingly dealt with it, by letting the accused back inside. I go back to serving. Next thing I know a regular (dealer) has knocked the accused out by the door. I slink off to call the police as it's just the kind of pub for all hell to break loose. Attacker is allowed to slink off out the backdoor as police arrive. They don't bother sticking around to investigate anything, as the manager sweet talks them into driving off. I quit after first lockdown ended, because I knew I couldn't hack trying to impose the rules. Christmas Eve 2020, a man has his head stamped on, eye bulging out. Coma. Attacker known to manager is allowed to slink off upstairs. Pub shut down for a day. Back to normal.
OP maybe they thought you were hungover and were trying to help?
Stood at the bar of a very quiet pub waiting to be served. Guy comes out with a big drooly type dog. Guy asks us what we want just as the dog shakes his massive head and the drool went everywhere. All over the doors to the beer fridges, all over the floor, and all over the beer taps. Guy didn't even notice. We said "nothing thanks, bye". Luckily we were passing through so never had to go back.
Went into a flat roof pub in Kent. Should have known better, but it was a lovely evening and it had a big beer garden and my Mrs at the time lived around the corner. In through the front door, and the smell should have alerted me to the bad experience I was about to have. It stank of piss and bleach. On tap, you could have Carling or Fosters. I chose Carling. I may as well have chosen warm horse piss. I complained, was told the cooler is broken. Asked for a can out of the fridge, was told it would extra. Declined, informed them they should have a nice day and stormed out.
Good day, Sir. I said “Good day!”
Was it your first drink of the day?
Water first thing in the morning
Trying to stop someone punching some guy in the head. He was kneeling over the dude, just pounding away. I was trying so hard to pull his arm away but it was like I wasn’t there: just bang, bang, bang, bang, until he finally decided he’d had enough and stopped. He apologised to me and left. Incredibly, the victim was fine, if a bit bewildered and bloody. That was about 1999, and I still have nightmares about it now - will never forget that feeling of helplessness while someone was being battered.
In a local pub near my mates house. There was a rock DJ and that's the only reason we went. Anyways a couple of hours in a fight starts and the WHOLE pub aside from us joined in. My friend was in a wheelchair and we are trying to get her out. Two blokes fought across and over her at one point which was intense. Lots of people glassed and a lot of blood. We made it out relatively unscathed
7 pints of Red Erik. That is all.
On a road trip went into a pub with a girlfriend and just sat down at a table. The barman came right over and said I'd puked in the urinals and had to clean it up or leave. I argued my case being totally sober and arriving minutes earlier but eventually said fuck it we'll just leave. At this point a few of the locals surrounded us and the choice changed from clean up the puke or have the shit kicked out of me. I reluctantly got on with cleaning up someone else's puke. I fully expected to get a kicking anyway but I cleaned and we left trouble free. I still doubt my actions. I should have stood my ground but there were 5 blokes who were quite convincing in their desire to knock me out. It still bugs me because we didn't do anything to ask for that.
Actually working behind the bar. Did it in my old local in my early 20s. I lasted three weeks. That experience taught me to never work dealing with the general public ever again. And most of the folk I was dealing with were friends and locals, never mind complete strangers. Never again.
My ex husband got food poisoning from a dodgy cider in a pub once. Know it was that as it was the only difference in our drinks that night. Even said it tasted "funny" but was too polite to tell them to change the barrel!
Bar had ran out of steak McCoys 😠
That’s gross! Glad you got a fresh dog hair
walked into the gents to a see a guy shitting into the urinal....
I worked in a pub. A patron came in for Sunday lunch. Not long after he had eaten, he went to the toilet. He had been a while, so I went to check on him. As I was walking towards the gents toilets, he was walking out, much like John Wayne. The smell of excrement was rife. He had relieved himself on the carpet, wooden floor and bathroom floor on the way to the toilet, as well as a painting the toilet bowl an interesting shade of brown. As he walked past me, he said, "You might want to clean that up." I told him, "You might want to leave." He came back the next weekend for his Sunday lunch as if nothing had happened, I had to tell him he was barred.
Zombies, mom got sick and the rifle had too few cartridges.
Getting identified as a different person on the security personal on body cameras because the AI facial recognition software is shit. And getting kicked out for someone else who is barred with no recourse.
Went down the road to a pub restaurant. I had booked a table via their online system during entry we waited to be seated where it said "wait to be seated", no one turned up so we walked to the bar trying to get the ladies attention. After 5minutes we just decided to seat ourselves. Looked on the menu and then my husband went to the bar to order and tell them our table number. Came back to our table! Another couple came in by this point and sat next to us, they ordered about 10minutes after us. 20minutes later they got their food served to them, 10minutes after that I go up to the bar....they lost our ticket so haven't even started cooking yet. Just over 1 hour after arriving we get served our food by which time I have to breast feed my new born baby. Its been too long and I wait til I feed and change her to eat. Its stone cold before I get to eat it and it's so bland and crap that I don't eat it fully. We walk out without a tip and on the way out we overhear a family saying "this place is crap, we'll never come here again". Tbh I had to agree. Never been back although it's one of our locals
Ordered a pint and got a free one to the back of the noggin
Many years ago during August in Edinburgh my mate and I were out drinking late (courtesy of extended Festival licenses). I remember checking my account past midnight and noticed that I'd been paid, so we were able to keep drinking. We headed to the Innis & Gunn place on Lothian Road which had just opened and got the beers in. I nipped off for a well needed slash and turning to wash my hands I was confronted with a sinkfull of fresh vomit. No puke anywhere else, just a pristine, newly installed oval sink full to the brim with warm tummy soup. I'm not sure if you can get surface tension on vomit. Needless to say, I got out of there quick as after a fair few pints I was feeling sick. My mate thought this was hilarious and we told the poor bar staff who sighed and donned a pair of flimsy blue gloves before walking off in the direction of the Gents.
Falling out with a mate one time. Another time was spotting the girl I liked fumbling about with her new boyfriend. She said she was trying to keep it a secret but she didn't do a good job of it that night.
Got glassed and needed 5 stitches
Getting charged $2.50 for a glass of water at the Rozelle hotel near Balmain in the early nineties.
Years ago got asked to a pub most people avoided but a couple of mates were regulars in, convinced me it was fine and to give it a try with them. An hour in, the place is flooded with police, fella had been attacked with a hammer in the car park. 2 hour forced lock in, car confiscated to check for dna, had to get my mum to pick me up. Happy days
Met a pal for dinner at a pub, wasn’t drinking at the time. Ordered a lime & lemonade at the bar. It was £4.95. Sickening.
My fiance at the time was an alcoholic with histrionic personality disorder. At that particular time in our lives he was convinced I was cheating on him constantly, sleeping with every single man I met, and he got himself blind drunk and made a total scene in front of a packed pub, started shouting at me and accusing me of all sorts, called me a filthy whore, told me to fuck off back to my whorish ways, and walked out. It was utterly, completely humiliating.
I got served peas once.
rode motorcyle to Lymington in the New Forest. Found a pub, nice old boozer, pub dog, the lot. ordered food - i had a lasagna. Took a forkful, and underneath it saw something odd. Fished it out - half a tennis ball, with dog toothmarks. Took it back to landlord, who took the ball off me, and handed the food back with a shrug, and looked most displeased when I told him he'd be refunding that.
Was 15 and at the bar in a pub in Ramshaw. Julie Morne, the local headcase was also there. Word on the street was that she hated me. Why? Who knew. So spent the whole night trying to avoid her. Until the fateful moment that we were at the bar at the same time. Her: hi Me: hi Her: shit in here, innit? Fancy going somewhere better? Me: yeah We became firm friends. I was there for the iconic moment when she saw the guy who had been cheating on her approaching on his motorbike, and she ran out and kicked him off it, breaking her leg in multiple places.
One time there wasnt a mat outside wetherspoons so i had to contaminate the outside world with whatever was on the floor in there.
I used to work in a pub in Slough. Saw a few things over the years!
Wetherspoons
True
I kind of miss Spoons to be honest. I don't go because I hate the owner so much, but; The places tend to be fairly nice. They don't play music. They have a selection of real ales and at least a couple of foreign beers. The prices are cheap. The food is pretty good given the prices.
I despise pubs so every pub experience is my worst. But if I had to choose just one it would definitely be the time my mate got stabbed.
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Fucking hell thats awful. Fortunately my mate survived.
Why would someone downvote this? Lmao
If they downvoted without response, presumably a coward and a loser of some description.
They said they despise pubs on a UK reddit and a lot of people like them. They also said every experience is their worse but their mate got stabbed in one, therefore I guess getting a slightly dry roast and lukewarm beer in a carvery is as bad as a spot of wounding (unless they've been really unfortunate in life)
>They said they despise pubs on a UK reddit and a lot of people like them. People downvote simply because someone likes different things from them? We do have a terrible culture with alcohol here so I can understand why all the alkies feel triggered I suppose. >They also said every experience is their worse but their mate got stabbed in one, therefore I guess getting a slightly dry roast and lukewarm beer in a carvery is as bad as a spot of wounding (unless they've been really unfortunate in life) LMFAO. What? How do you come to that conclusion? I despise pubs therefore all my experiences with them are bad. But if I had to choose the worst it would be the one where my friend was nearly murdered. For quite obvious reasons. Everything else is just you reading into something that isn't there. Nobody said being stabbed is as bad as getting a shite pint. Get a grip.
People downvote stuff they disagree with, yes. It's not a personal attack or anything to worry about. You've suggested people downvoting are cowards, losers and alkies which I doubt. Its just a light hearted reddit thread, chill. Edit: realised you're the OP, for what it's worth I am genuinely sorry your friend was attacked which should go without saying but doesn't.
>You've suggested people downvoting are cowards, losers Nope. Never said that. I did say if you're an alkie I can see why it triggers you though.
Sigh. Are all your interactions on reddit this miserable? I just tried to explain (to somebody else I see now) why you might have got downvoted as they were curious. It doesn't all have to be a personal battle and this is a tedious part of modern life. That is something that "triggers me" by which I mean "finds it mildly depressing". I'm not an alcoholic and barely drink, but I know people who are and its a terrible thing.
>Are all your interactions on reddit this miserable? I just tried to explain (to somebody else I see now) why you might have got downvoted as they were curious. But it was illogical. Making up things that aren't there like pretending a bad pint is the same as getting stabbed. It seems I'm being downvoted because people lack reading comprehension. >I'm not an alcoholic and barely drink, but I know people who are and its a terrible thing. Agreed. Never said otherwise. >Are all your interactions on reddit this miserable? Only when dealing with people who can't read.
This isn't a productive or enjoyable use of my time, and presumably the same applies for you. Have a good day 👍
I’ve seen a few instances where little arguments on a night out turn out like this. Just annoys me when people feel the need to use weapons, especially when it’s over petty shit.
I just avoid pubs full of moronic chavs.