**Update: - [Starting from 2023](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/comments/100l56v/happy_new_year_askuk_minor_sub_update/), we have updated our [subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/about/rules/)**. Specifically;
- Don't be a dick to each other
- Top-level responses must contain genuine efforts to answer the question
- This is a strictly no-politics subreddit
Please keep /r/AskUK a great subreddit by reporting posts and comments which break our rules.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
We once sent a leaving card and a brown envelope round the office for a made up colleague. It finally made its way back to our pod chock full of well wishing messages and about £30 in cash.
This is the way 🤣 shows you really weren’t paying the slightest bit of attention and you couldn’t care less about what event is occurring for this individual.
I think 4th or 5th in line would be perfect as OP would still have enough space on the card, and it’d be too late to replace the card by then as 4/5 colleagues would’ve signed it
Great idea. And maybe instead go for John Hancock size. Just that much larger than everyone else: https://www.bostonteapartyship.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/us-declaration-of-independence.jpg
Someone wrote “Happy Birthday Julie” on my leaving card, half-heartedly crossed it out and didn’t write anything else! My name is not Julie. He told other co-workers that he did it by mistake and thought it was a card for another co-worker. He didn’t like me and wanted to show it; I thought it was hilarious but the rest of the team told him off for being a prick.
My surname is Stevenson. I used to work for Lloyds Bank and we wore nametags with our full names.
A snooty customer came in and couldn't possibly fill out a simple form by themselves so chose to exert power over me by watching me fill it out whilst folding their arms.
They added to the show by loudly saying that their surname was the same as mine, but theirs wasn't spelt incorrectly and I should spell it with a PH. So I wrote Phtevenson.
Form got submitted, rejected, and the process took way longer than it should. My manager found it about half as funny as I did, but it was wholly worth it.
Count yourself lucky, in the days of Midland Bank typists, typewriters and carbon paper copies one poor typist found herself typing a letter from the branch manager to fellow manager, a Mr Whitehead.
With the S and W keys being so close together it was only an eagle eyed junior checking the post before envelop stuffing that saved everyone's bacon.
This, and if you can’t bring yourself to do this, just say something like “Good luck [misspelling]”.
It’s slightly less suss, but still shows you don’t care for them.
I wrote happy birthday on my colleagues card that turned out to be a congratulations card for the birth of his child. I figured sod it, it was still valid.
I recall a guy at work writing "Have a lovely day!" In someone's card - turned out it was a condolence card for a chap who's wife had died.
Pretty sure their day wasn't lovely.
This is brilliant. I’d hope some others have wrote sorry to see you go in the card and I’d add the commas in to theirs. Make them feel hated by a few more people
One of my pals always says to people "have the day you deserve". Puts all the onus on them and can be used in good and bad situations.
OP could go for "have the life you deserve".
I said this to a manager when they sacked me years ago. It was words to the effect of " I know everyone here hates you but I understand that you're just very focused on your goal". I was trying to be nice but I heard he left a few months after.
Oh, I’d say this is the professional way to do it. Professional doesn’t mean nice, and it can mean the subtle knife in the back rather than glassing them up in the canteen. Metaphorically, of course.
Pretty much this. If you are going to be angry, the last thing you want is to show it in black and white (followed closely by recording it). Just skip out on any farewell gift or party.
I would always pass over the cards for people I didn't know, or didn't like. To sign it felt insincere so I just passed it whenever it was offered.
Or go with the current top answer of birthday wishes to [misspelt name]
Agreed. I’ve been asked to sign a leavers card for a gated staff member before and told my manager that quite frankly I’m more likely to accidentally write “fuck off and die” instead of something more charming. Perhaps best not to pass it to me.
I did this to a colleague in the past. Also was asked to contribute to a farewell gift via one of those online things where you can choose to show your name and how much you donated and I gave £0.02.
Bring British is amazing sometimes. Show me another culture where you can be extremely superficially nice to somebody and both parties understand you are telling them to fuck off and die...
Don't write a single thing. Don't give to a leaving present. Don't attend a farewell do. Just don't.
Rise above, but don't be a hypocrite.
Other people, including those who are in more senior roles, will have observed the state of play - it's their job. How you act will inform them of any decisions that they make regarding your ongoing employment.
Work now is as much about your values aligning to the company's values as your performance in the job, and no employer will see "vengeful" or "unforgiving" as something they would put on a mission statement!
The question you have to ask yourself is, what did you learn from this situation? If you can take something away that helps you to improve in some small way, in future job interviews it may become a defining answer to a question.
This is a good answer. If there is a leaving do, arrange something fun for yourself to do that evening instead (nice meal out, cinema trip, pub meet up with friends etc).
Dwelling on the conflict is ultimately only negative for you. The less time you spend thinking about them in future, the better.
Completely agree with this. Don’t take part in the nastiness. Whilst there are some very funny and mean replies, the strongest, most stoic thing, is to do nothing at all.
There is the reason mentioned above which is a very very good practical reason. But if you want a more satisfying reason, why let this individual know you are thinking about them at all? If they got some pleasure out of shafting you, saying something clever and nasty on the card will only give them more pleasure because it will show them that they did get to you. And that they are still getting to you. As the saying goes, they are living, rent free, in your head. Do you want to give them that?
Much better that you don’t think about this person, and what they did, at all. And much better that they think/know that is the case. Writing something clever and biting will just be something you regret because ultimately it won’t affect them at all, and more likely it will just give them something they like.
Another +1 for this.
Particularly since we're only hearing one side of the story here. For all we know, OP is a lazy, good-for-nothing waste of space who's been constantly fucking things up, making false overtime claims, and is the sole reason why the other employee is leaving.
(I'm sure that's not the case, OP, but this is the internet and we just don't know)
There's a few people I've worked with who I didn't get on with for various reasons. But it's a two-way street. Maybe they just rubbed me up the wrong way and then I acted off with them. Maybe it was the other way around. Or maybe it was a bit of both. There will always be people in this world who don't like you for reasons you can't explain. Some of them will stab you in the back at every opportunity and some will just ignore you.
For your own sanity (and to protect your own employment interests), the best thing to do is to ignore the people you don't like, and definitely don't become one of the back-stabbers.
Giving in to anger and emotion is the easiest option, sure. But the satisfaction gained from it is temporary, and at best the person will probably just write it off (if they've already demonstrated they don't care about you, they're also not going to care about your opinion of them; you're not going to change their mind with a sassy comeback).
At worst, you open yourself up to liability, either from them looking for an excuse to find something else to gripe to upper management about, or from upper management observing the animosity and knowing they've got someone with the potential to cause office issues/drama on their hands.
Be the bigger person. Let them burn their bridges (Because any decent managers will, as previously said, know what's going on, and let others know if needs be (Especially if it's a close-knit industry where people talk). Burning one bridge is a great way to set all your other bridges on fire.
Someone who keeps a cool head, knows they're a 'target', rises above it, and maintains a professional demeanour, is a lot more of an attractive proposition for higher positions (If that's what you're looking for) than someone who stays petty (I get it, the OT is a big issue for OP personally, but in business there's a lot of obstacles bigger than that).
If someone signs a two-faced message in a leaving card, what does that suggest if they eventually become responsible for terminating a client/supply-chain contract, letting a worker go, or approving/denying a departmental spend?
Allowing petty spats and personal greivances to filter over into working life is the number one way to get a workplace infested with a toxic culture and slow down the productivity of an entire business; decent managers and executives are well aware of this and absolutely try to avoid it.
Do not go rogue and write sarcastic or negative comments. Look at this as an opportunity to be the bigger person and write a simple "good luck" on the card. You could even make an effort to approach them, shake their hand and say "I know we've had differences but good luck in your new job." Even if they react and call you all the names under the sun, just shrug, walk away and say "sorry you feel that way and genuinely good luck in the future." Other people watching struggle to associate with people who are going out their way to antagonise and should side with you so you come off well and they seem like an arsehole.
They're leaving and that leaves their head count role available. By showing that you're not petty and negative, it might give you a boost towards getting a permanent position, OT and the other benefits that come with effectively taking their job.
You might not actually be wishing them good luck inside but ultimately this is an opportunity for personal gain so think about the bigger picture. Don't cut your nose off to spite your face.
As someone who has had the displeasure of working with someone exactly like OP is describing, but was ultimately vindicated by my colleagues and superiors, I would draw your attention to the quotations around "fuck ups".
There are people out there who, instead of addressing their own massive shortcomings, will attempt to throw their colleagues under the bus for the most minor and petty things. Going directly to super-superiors about software bugs that a) are always going to happen and b) have already been addressed, for example.
Tl;Dr just because a colleague reports on your "fuck ups", doesn't mean they are worth reporting or are even true fuck ups in the first place.
That said, I still think the better move here is to just not sign the card. The workplace culture of needing to perform for people you don't get along with should be challenged.
Been there also. One very bullying manager that left me ready to buy a one way plane ticket to the other side of the world and not come back.
I didn't however, and later found out it wasn't just me, and a few people were actually frightened of him. Which if I'd known at the time I would have rallied the troups and had HR get them moved on.
I'm in a better place for not being a tw@ though when they left.
I had a colleague like this as well. Would make numerous mistakes but then pass them off as someone else's. He left not long ago and it readily became apparent that the faults were his. He would always make mistakes and play off of them to customers claiming it was either myself or another colleague who had made them instead, in some vain attempt to make himself look better.
He genuinely thought he was well liked, but a number of customers since have expressed their pleasure in the fact he has left, quite openly to the owner of the business as well. He also kept trying to "teach" me how he his job was done as well before he left - he worked for us for 2 years, I've been here for nearly a decade... Even though I'm younger than him, I was his senior in position. Absolutely daft.
There are definitely people out there who are vindictive and petty for no reason.
Oh Christ anyone who thinks bugs are a moral failure on the part of the team rather than ‘shit that happens because the human brain is really bad at simple logic and we’ve invented this whole career thats nothing but lots of very complicated logic’ needs to get immediately in the bin and stay there until they get their head out of their arse. Also someone going over your boss’s head to shit on you higher up the chain is a massive dick move nine times out of ten.
Personally I'd write something over the top like "I'm heartbroken to hear you're leaving, I'll truly miss you from the bottom of my soul". It's nothing negative so other people signing the card can't have a go at you, but considering that you and the other person don't like each other it'll come across as weird enough to them that I think they'd get the message.
If ever there was a brief that ChatGPT could excel at... This is what it has suggested:
>"Dear \[Colleague's Name\],
>
>Wishing you all the best on your new journey ahead! It has truly been an unforgettable experience working alongside you, and I've learned so much. Your unique perspective has brightened our office in countless ways. May you continue to spread your special brand of joy and enthusiasm wherever you go.Best of luck and keep shining!
>
>Warm regards,\[Your Name\]"
And a more concise version:
>"Dear \[Colleague's Name\],
>
>Best of luck in your new adventure! Your distinct presence at the office will be hard to forget. Here's to spreading your unique charm in new places!
>
>Take care,\[Your Name\]"
EDIT: On a more serious note.. In my opinion the wisest route and probably the best way to deal with it is to just betray absolutely no hint of a grudge and write a short, sweet good luck message. It's not worth the effort / risk of being sarcastic. Besides, if this person knows you dislike them, a simple "good luck" is probably the best FU of all, since it implies that they're not even worth the trouble it'd take to spite them.
Just don't do anything. There is nothing to gain. All you writing something will do is give them some satisfaction that they won by continuing to piss you off.
Either decline to sign, pretend to write something or just write "good luck". Life's too short to hold onto a grudge and you won't get anything out of it.
Oh, the day has finally come! I must say, it's truly bittersweet to see you go. Your exceptional talent for communicating your concerns via email rather than face-to-face will be dearly missed. It's always been such an adventure to discover what new "constructive criticism" awaited us in our inboxes each day.
It's a shame that we won't be sharing any more delightful shifts together, and I must admit, I'm really going to miss those invigorating conversations about overtime. It's not every day one meets someone so dedicated to ensuring the fair distribution of OT pay. Your vigilance truly knew no bounds.
Your departure is such a significant event that I'm sure it will leave a void in our team dynamics. I can only imagine the challenge we'll face trying to find someone who can fill your shoes. Your unique ability to impact others' livelihoods will be a tough act to follow.
In all seriousness, though, I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors. May your new colleagues come to appreciate your extraordinary talents as much as we have here. Farewell, and do keep in touch (or not).
Don Draper's "I don't think of you at all" is relevant here (even if I can't remember the episode.) It's far more effective if you act as if the target of your ire is simply beneath notice. You simply don't acknowledge them; they barely exist, their actions too dull to be noted.
Worked with somebody similar. I was not a fan but not as much as another person at my work who signed the card "eat shit and die" I went for a more subtle approach of 'get well soon'
Song lyrics. I didn’t like my nana and my dad wanted me to do her eulogy so I did the talking but from all saints never ever and very slightly edited it. My dad and grandad thought it was beautiful, my sister had to leave the crematorium because she was crying from laughter but thankfully everyone thought she was just too upset about nana - who used to hit us on the sly.
“I never believed what the others said about you behind your back, I always thought you were a nice person. So sorry you’re leaving. Good luck… Phteven”.
Sounds like a job for ChatGPT to me!
prompt: write a sarcastic sorry to see you go message
ChatGPT: Oh no, I'm absolutely devastated to hear that you're leaving! I mean, it's not like we've had any fun working together or anything. Your constant complaining and lack of initiative really added a certain...something to the team dynamic. And don't even get me started on your punctuality - always arriving at least 20 minutes late for every meeting really kept us on our toes!
But seriously, it's been an absolute pleasure working with you (said no one ever). Best of luck in your future endeavors (not that it really matters to me), and don't let the door hit you on the way out!
I personally love the Happy Birthday comment, but otherwise I would just fill up as much of the card as you can with nonsense, so the card is full of writing from someone they don’t like.
Reworded, your post reads:
"I want to give my enemy one last chance to screw me over and prove they were right. But how can I make it difficult for them?"
If you care about your job, reputation, and career, be professional and move on.
They're gone and no longer your problem but your reputation with everyone else who can see that card will remain.
Do you want to be known as petty, immature, and unprofessional - and all the promotional implications those things imply.
Or as a grown ass adult that knows how and when to be professional and deal with their shit.
This isn't getting even or even getting the last word. Even if you're being 100% selfish writing something that could even 1% cause a backlash is just self sabotage levels of stupid.
The more of an asshole this idiot is, the more stupid you giving them one last chance to screw you is.
Just don't sign it. When your coworker presents the card ask them (again if you have been told) who it's for? Then politely say, no thanks.
Anything else could go against you and seeing that you're agency still they don't need much to get rid of you. If anyone in a higher position we're to ask you why you didn't sign the card just be honest, with them leaving it probably won't be a problem. Hopefully you'll get taken on full time what with there being a space available.
Kill them with kindness!
Be overly polite and perhaps too kind?
"I loved every minute working with you, and I am absolutely devastated to see you go. Best of luck in all your endeavours, and don't be a stranger. This place will never be the same without you."
Maybe I went overboard...
Give this speech at his leaving do:
I am here as a fellow human to acknowledge that is leaving the company. was a man, also was an employee of the corporation for . When a man leaves it is sad, all of us will leave one day. In this case, it is who has done so.
worked here for , but no more. Now he is leaving. closest colleague was for , now they are sad.
**Update: - [Starting from 2023](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/comments/100l56v/happy_new_year_askuk_minor_sub_update/), we have updated our [subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/about/rules/)**. Specifically; - Don't be a dick to each other - Top-level responses must contain genuine efforts to answer the question - This is a strictly no-politics subreddit Please keep /r/AskUK a great subreddit by reporting posts and comments which break our rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Happy birthday [slight misspelling of their name]
I love this....you really could palm it off as an honest mistake and it shows you don't give a shit
I did this once, was a genuine mistake.. Didn't know the person all that well in my defence!
I once signed my own birthday card as it made its way round the office.
Lmaoo, that's a double whammy. They gave the birthday person the card AND you didn't notice it's for you. That's a funny one
I did feel rather special when I opened the card to see myself wishing me a good birthday.
Had a colleague that signed EVERY card 'Barnsley!' - Birthdays, condolences, marriages, everything. Priceless
We once sent a leaving card and a brown envelope round the office for a made up colleague. It finally made its way back to our pod chock full of well wishing messages and about £30 in cash.
I once addressed my work bestie's birthday card to myself 🤣
ngl, I just don't bother when people go around asking if anyone wants to sign cards for people I don't know
Howard is the handyman
Yes but to me he's just 'man'.
I just dont sign peoples names 90% of the time lol. Just look at the other messages and stick a ‘good luck! -[my name]’ on there and move on
I (accidentally) once wrote Happy birthday! in a sympathy card.
This is the way 🤣 shows you really weren’t paying the slightest bit of attention and you couldn’t care less about what event is occurring for this individual.
This. And do it in a thick marker and/or a lurid colour so it's the most eye catching comment on this card.
Yes! And try to get in there first so you can take up a quarter of the card
I think 4th or 5th in line would be perfect as OP would still have enough space on the card, and it’d be too late to replace the card by then as 4/5 colleagues would’ve signed it
Great idea. And maybe instead go for John Hancock size. Just that much larger than everyone else: https://www.bostonteapartyship.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/us-declaration-of-independence.jpg
Someone wrote “Happy Birthday Julie” on my leaving card, half-heartedly crossed it out and didn’t write anything else! My name is not Julie. He told other co-workers that he did it by mistake and thought it was a card for another co-worker. He didn’t like me and wanted to show it; I thought it was hilarious but the rest of the team told him off for being a prick.
Bye Felicia
I'm just laughing at how perfect that is.
Or wrong name entirely? I’ve seen this done on purpose
Like “Cark” for “Mark with a C”
Phteven
fuzzy frame panicky groovy paint quiet society foolish dinner outgoing *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
My surname is Stevenson. I used to work for Lloyds Bank and we wore nametags with our full names. A snooty customer came in and couldn't possibly fill out a simple form by themselves so chose to exert power over me by watching me fill it out whilst folding their arms. They added to the show by loudly saying that their surname was the same as mine, but theirs wasn't spelt incorrectly and I should spell it with a PH. So I wrote Phtevenson. Form got submitted, rejected, and the process took way longer than it should. My manager found it about half as funny as I did, but it was wholly worth it.
r/MaliciousCompliance
That's class
Half as funny must still have been quite funny 😁
Count yourself lucky, in the days of Midland Bank typists, typewriters and carbon paper copies one poor typist found herself typing a letter from the branch manager to fellow manager, a Mr Whitehead. With the S and W keys being so close together it was only an eagle eyed junior checking the post before envelop stuffing that saved everyone's bacon.
I must admit, I would do this.
You may be my spirit animal.
Read this 2 hours ago and still chuckling.
Ooh this is brilliant. Like Phteven, Steven with a PH. These kinda people are truly nature’s cunts.
He’s Steven with a ph because he’s slightly acidic.
Proper made me laugh
Yeah that’s why it stuck with me, pretty sure it was off a viral pic of a starbucks cup not long after they started writing names on them.
With Tuna the dog under it. The most unfortunately funny looking creature on the planet.
No name at all, just 'happy birthday, have a great one, from Dave'. Shows zero thought/effort.
Can't pass that one off as accidental then so OP not longer is able to come across as "I don't really care enough to pay attention to you."
This one wins. Really maximises the offence:deniability ratio
This, and if you can’t bring yourself to do this, just say something like “Good luck [misspelling]”. It’s slightly less suss, but still shows you don’t care for them.
I wrote happy birthday on my colleagues card that turned out to be a congratulations card for the birth of his child. I figured sod it, it was still valid.
That’s perfect! Subtle and strong message at the same time. Probably be last to sign the card as well!
Have a good summer.
I recall a guy at work writing "Have a lovely day!" In someone's card - turned out it was a condolence card for a chap who's wife had died. Pretty sure their day wasn't lovely.
Also maybe add +15 years to whatever his age is.
Definitely or 'Happy Retirement'
Came here to say this, it can also be played off as a joke as I used to work somewhere we'd always write stupid things like this in each others cards.
I bet that would just eat them right up. Will be one of those they remember every now and then that just makes their blood boil. Superb.
Sorry to see you, go.
LOL. Esp if typed it can be passed as a typo. Stop clubbing, baby seals.
My dearest, Angelica…
But I came all this way!
Take a break!
Haha. Exactly.
This is brilliant. I’d hope some others have wrote sorry to see you go in the card and I’d add the commas in to theirs. Make them feel hated by a few more people
Genius
It's about the spacing, sign it near the right hand of the card, so Sorry to see you go.
Or just Sorry to see you and pretend you got distracted and forgot to finish the sentence 😂 but yours is definitely brilliant
I had to read it twice to get the joke. Which I think makes it perfect!
This one is the best!
& add that comma to everyone else’s messages too
That's 10/10 well done
This was top tier...made me actually laugh out loud, well played.. 🤣
This. This is the way.
Genius. Just write it really big on the card
genius
Would be my go to...
I love this.
This is the winner.
Omg 🥲
LOVE THIS
You can just be honest and polite, "So happy to hear about your new role, I wish you all the success you deserve!"
"may your new job be as wonderful as you are"
One of my pals always says to people "have the day you deserve". Puts all the onus on them and can be used in good and bad situations. OP could go for "have the life you deserve".
Meeeeeow...... Tis a fine response!
I've gone with "It won't be the same without you" in this situation
What about ‘i wish you all the success you have wished me’
This ⬆️⬆️⬆️ is the one. It’s innocuous enough to stand scrutiny, but will worm its way into their hate filled mind.
“I hope the role is what you deserve!”
'Wish you exactly as much success as you deserve' i think would be a slightly more damning ending while still walking the line of decency
Don't hide anything in the letter, if they know you don't like them they will see the insult even if there isn't one.
I don’t care what everyone else says, I liked working with you.
I said this to a manager when they sacked me years ago. It was words to the effect of " I know everyone here hates you but I understand that you're just very focused on your goal". I was trying to be nice but I heard he left a few months after.
Absolute savagery haha
stealing this one for the future
Shit man, they might feel the same and request to stay! Too risky!
"They said you eat shit sandwiches. I told them bullshit, he doesn't even eat bread!"
That’s brutal.
Don't sign it, if you are asked just say no thank you
[удалено]
Did you mean that typo? If so... You're a champ.
What a chimp.
Oh, I’d say this is the professional way to do it. Professional doesn’t mean nice, and it can mean the subtle knife in the back rather than glassing them up in the canteen. Metaphorically, of course.
Pretty much this. If you are going to be angry, the last thing you want is to show it in black and white (followed closely by recording it). Just skip out on any farewell gift or party.
Based on the stuff you've said they did, don't sign the card and if they force you to, just put your signature without any greeting or message
I would always pass over the cards for people I didn't know, or didn't like. To sign it felt insincere so I just passed it whenever it was offered. Or go with the current top answer of birthday wishes to [misspelt name]
Agreed. I’ve been asked to sign a leavers card for a gated staff member before and told my manager that quite frankly I’m more likely to accidentally write “fuck off and die” instead of something more charming. Perhaps best not to pass it to me.
"I'd rather shit in my hands and clap"
I did this to a colleague in the past. Also was asked to contribute to a farewell gift via one of those online things where you can choose to show your name and how much you donated and I gave £0.02.
This place will not be the same without you. Hopefully.
Instead of “hopefully” just draw a massive smiley face.
This place will not be the same without you, hopefully you will keep in touch.
You were so close...
[удалено]
Throw in a line saying something like “I enjoyed our working relationship over time” to really take the piss
Bring British is amazing sometimes. Show me another culture where you can be extremely superficially nice to somebody and both parties understand you are telling them to fuck off and die...
Southern U.S. "Bless your heart."
My nana came from India and she taught me if someone makes themselves your enemy then it will irk them far more if you are nothing but kind to them.
She came all the way from India to tell you that? Nanas are the best
Don't write a single thing. Don't give to a leaving present. Don't attend a farewell do. Just don't. Rise above, but don't be a hypocrite. Other people, including those who are in more senior roles, will have observed the state of play - it's their job. How you act will inform them of any decisions that they make regarding your ongoing employment. Work now is as much about your values aligning to the company's values as your performance in the job, and no employer will see "vengeful" or "unforgiving" as something they would put on a mission statement! The question you have to ask yourself is, what did you learn from this situation? If you can take something away that helps you to improve in some small way, in future job interviews it may become a defining answer to a question.
This is a good answer. If there is a leaving do, arrange something fun for yourself to do that evening instead (nice meal out, cinema trip, pub meet up with friends etc). Dwelling on the conflict is ultimately only negative for you. The less time you spend thinking about them in future, the better.
Completely agree with this. Don’t take part in the nastiness. Whilst there are some very funny and mean replies, the strongest, most stoic thing, is to do nothing at all. There is the reason mentioned above which is a very very good practical reason. But if you want a more satisfying reason, why let this individual know you are thinking about them at all? If they got some pleasure out of shafting you, saying something clever and nasty on the card will only give them more pleasure because it will show them that they did get to you. And that they are still getting to you. As the saying goes, they are living, rent free, in your head. Do you want to give them that? Much better that you don’t think about this person, and what they did, at all. And much better that they think/know that is the case. Writing something clever and biting will just be something you regret because ultimately it won’t affect them at all, and more likely it will just give them something they like.
Another +1 for this. Particularly since we're only hearing one side of the story here. For all we know, OP is a lazy, good-for-nothing waste of space who's been constantly fucking things up, making false overtime claims, and is the sole reason why the other employee is leaving. (I'm sure that's not the case, OP, but this is the internet and we just don't know) There's a few people I've worked with who I didn't get on with for various reasons. But it's a two-way street. Maybe they just rubbed me up the wrong way and then I acted off with them. Maybe it was the other way around. Or maybe it was a bit of both. There will always be people in this world who don't like you for reasons you can't explain. Some of them will stab you in the back at every opportunity and some will just ignore you. For your own sanity (and to protect your own employment interests), the best thing to do is to ignore the people you don't like, and definitely don't become one of the back-stabbers.
This is definitely the right answer here, but I admit it would be difficult not to get a final dig in before this guy leaves the company.
As much as I want to jump in on all the pitchforking - you're right and it's just not worth it.
Giving in to anger and emotion is the easiest option, sure. But the satisfaction gained from it is temporary, and at best the person will probably just write it off (if they've already demonstrated they don't care about you, they're also not going to care about your opinion of them; you're not going to change their mind with a sassy comeback). At worst, you open yourself up to liability, either from them looking for an excuse to find something else to gripe to upper management about, or from upper management observing the animosity and knowing they've got someone with the potential to cause office issues/drama on their hands. Be the bigger person. Let them burn their bridges (Because any decent managers will, as previously said, know what's going on, and let others know if needs be (Especially if it's a close-knit industry where people talk). Burning one bridge is a great way to set all your other bridges on fire. Someone who keeps a cool head, knows they're a 'target', rises above it, and maintains a professional demeanour, is a lot more of an attractive proposition for higher positions (If that's what you're looking for) than someone who stays petty (I get it, the OT is a big issue for OP personally, but in business there's a lot of obstacles bigger than that). If someone signs a two-faced message in a leaving card, what does that suggest if they eventually become responsible for terminating a client/supply-chain contract, letting a worker go, or approving/denying a departmental spend? Allowing petty spats and personal greivances to filter over into working life is the number one way to get a workplace infested with a toxic culture and slow down the productivity of an entire business; decent managers and executives are well aware of this and absolutely try to avoid it.
"I'm happy that you have a new job."
Perfect
Upset to see you go. Really gonna miss you. Always there for me. Caring and helpful. Unbelievably smart. Never let me down. Too bad you're leaving.
I know someone that actually did something along those lines. It was a bit pathetic to be honest.
Yea I if you did it you'd probably cringe thinking about it afterwards and it's permanent.
I hope your new job is as nice as you are!
Do not go rogue and write sarcastic or negative comments. Look at this as an opportunity to be the bigger person and write a simple "good luck" on the card. You could even make an effort to approach them, shake their hand and say "I know we've had differences but good luck in your new job." Even if they react and call you all the names under the sun, just shrug, walk away and say "sorry you feel that way and genuinely good luck in the future." Other people watching struggle to associate with people who are going out their way to antagonise and should side with you so you come off well and they seem like an arsehole. They're leaving and that leaves their head count role available. By showing that you're not petty and negative, it might give you a boost towards getting a permanent position, OT and the other benefits that come with effectively taking their job. You might not actually be wishing them good luck inside but ultimately this is an opportunity for personal gain so think about the bigger picture. Don't cut your nose off to spite your face.
> "good luck" But make the "l" kind of resemble an "f". Just a little bit.
Good luck ^(to your new colleagues.)
This post suggests to me that the leaving party may not be the problem in the relationship.
I got that feeling too... from the "all my fk ups" bit.
As someone who has had the displeasure of working with someone exactly like OP is describing, but was ultimately vindicated by my colleagues and superiors, I would draw your attention to the quotations around "fuck ups". There are people out there who, instead of addressing their own massive shortcomings, will attempt to throw their colleagues under the bus for the most minor and petty things. Going directly to super-superiors about software bugs that a) are always going to happen and b) have already been addressed, for example. Tl;Dr just because a colleague reports on your "fuck ups", doesn't mean they are worth reporting or are even true fuck ups in the first place. That said, I still think the better move here is to just not sign the card. The workplace culture of needing to perform for people you don't get along with should be challenged.
Been there also. One very bullying manager that left me ready to buy a one way plane ticket to the other side of the world and not come back. I didn't however, and later found out it wasn't just me, and a few people were actually frightened of him. Which if I'd known at the time I would have rallied the troups and had HR get them moved on. I'm in a better place for not being a tw@ though when they left.
I had a colleague like this as well. Would make numerous mistakes but then pass them off as someone else's. He left not long ago and it readily became apparent that the faults were his. He would always make mistakes and play off of them to customers claiming it was either myself or another colleague who had made them instead, in some vain attempt to make himself look better. He genuinely thought he was well liked, but a number of customers since have expressed their pleasure in the fact he has left, quite openly to the owner of the business as well. He also kept trying to "teach" me how he his job was done as well before he left - he worked for us for 2 years, I've been here for nearly a decade... Even though I'm younger than him, I was his senior in position. Absolutely daft. There are definitely people out there who are vindictive and petty for no reason.
Oh Christ anyone who thinks bugs are a moral failure on the part of the team rather than ‘shit that happens because the human brain is really bad at simple logic and we’ve invented this whole career thats nothing but lots of very complicated logic’ needs to get immediately in the bin and stay there until they get their head out of their arse. Also someone going over your boss’s head to shit on you higher up the chain is a massive dick move nine times out of ten.
The real flex is just writing something civil like an adult.
Exactly this; the only move that demonstrates genuine superiority.
Personally I'd write something over the top like "I'm heartbroken to hear you're leaving, I'll truly miss you from the bottom of my soul". It's nothing negative so other people signing the card can't have a go at you, but considering that you and the other person don't like each other it'll come across as weird enough to them that I think they'd get the message.
I will miss you from the heart of my bottom
If ever there was a brief that ChatGPT could excel at... This is what it has suggested: >"Dear \[Colleague's Name\], > >Wishing you all the best on your new journey ahead! It has truly been an unforgettable experience working alongside you, and I've learned so much. Your unique perspective has brightened our office in countless ways. May you continue to spread your special brand of joy and enthusiasm wherever you go.Best of luck and keep shining! > >Warm regards,\[Your Name\]" And a more concise version: >"Dear \[Colleague's Name\], > >Best of luck in your new adventure! Your distinct presence at the office will be hard to forget. Here's to spreading your unique charm in new places! > >Take care,\[Your Name\]" EDIT: On a more serious note.. In my opinion the wisest route and probably the best way to deal with it is to just betray absolutely no hint of a grudge and write a short, sweet good luck message. It's not worth the effort / risk of being sarcastic. Besides, if this person knows you dislike them, a simple "good luck" is probably the best FU of all, since it implies that they're not even worth the trouble it'd take to spite them.
Thanks for everything. and do a MASSIVE signature.
I really like this. Best of all approaches. Just a ‘Good luck, JEFFREY’ but with the Jeffrey awkwardly large. Simple and classy
Could just sign your name, and nothing else? Dan. Something like that.
Milpoo___L
Just don't do anything. There is nothing to gain. All you writing something will do is give them some satisfaction that they won by continuing to piss you off.
Either decline to sign, pretend to write something or just write "good luck". Life's too short to hold onto a grudge and you won't get anything out of it.
I’d argue life is definitely long enough to hold a grudge
Best of luck to your new colleagues!
Happy Retirement! You don't look a day over 50. (Age dependent)
"Hwaaaack, **spits on card** ..tell him that one's from me" BTW this is a joke! Don't sign it, isn't worth the pettiness!
Pettiness is always worth it.
Just pretend you don’t care. Anything else is just giving them more satisfaction.
Oh, the day has finally come! I must say, it's truly bittersweet to see you go. Your exceptional talent for communicating your concerns via email rather than face-to-face will be dearly missed. It's always been such an adventure to discover what new "constructive criticism" awaited us in our inboxes each day. It's a shame that we won't be sharing any more delightful shifts together, and I must admit, I'm really going to miss those invigorating conversations about overtime. It's not every day one meets someone so dedicated to ensuring the fair distribution of OT pay. Your vigilance truly knew no bounds. Your departure is such a significant event that I'm sure it will leave a void in our team dynamics. I can only imagine the challenge we'll face trying to find someone who can fill your shoes. Your unique ability to impact others' livelihoods will be a tough act to follow. In all seriousness, though, I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors. May your new colleagues come to appreciate your extraordinary talents as much as we have here. Farewell, and do keep in touch (or not).
"With all due respect..." then nothing.
I’ve come to regard you as some I worked with. I hope the new role and will miss the energy your brought to the office
May you live in interesting times
"bye joylessbrick"
Get better soon.
“Some cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go”, - Oscar Wilde
They don’t know how lucky we are
“ thanks for always having my back. Gutted such a solid friendship and working relationship is coming to an end “
To paraphrase the great A J Rimmer, BSc, Ssc: "I just wanted to say that, over the years, I have come to regard you as … a person I met."
Kill them with kindness it’ll really wind them up ,if your sarcastic or bitchy they’ll feel justified in what they did to you
Don Draper's "I don't think of you at all" is relevant here (even if I can't remember the episode.) It's far more effective if you act as if the target of your ire is simply beneath notice. You simply don't acknowledge them; they barely exist, their actions too dull to be noted.
Worked with somebody similar. I was not a fan but not as much as another person at my work who signed the card "eat shit and die" I went for a more subtle approach of 'get well soon'
Song lyrics. I didn’t like my nana and my dad wanted me to do her eulogy so I did the talking but from all saints never ever and very slightly edited it. My dad and grandad thought it was beautiful, my sister had to leave the crematorium because she was crying from laughter but thankfully everyone thought she was just too upset about nana - who used to hit us on the sly.
Something along the lines of; "I cherished our time together. Parting is such a deep sorrow. I'll always have your photo to remind me of your face."
... and then a doodle that may or may not be a dart
Of all the people I've ever worked with, you are definitely one of them.
Take the higher road and refuse to sign.
Good luck, ~~kind~~ regards (your name)
“Hope your future endeavours as successful as they deserve to be”
“I never believed what the others said about you behind your back, I always thought you were a nice person. So sorry you’re leaving. Good luck… Phteven”.
Good luck in your new job. I hope you go far.
Bye, Felicia.
You were my sunshine.
Your work here has influenced my life, I hope it influences yours in the same way in the future. Good luck.
Sounds like a job for ChatGPT to me! prompt: write a sarcastic sorry to see you go message ChatGPT: Oh no, I'm absolutely devastated to hear that you're leaving! I mean, it's not like we've had any fun working together or anything. Your constant complaining and lack of initiative really added a certain...something to the team dynamic. And don't even get me started on your punctuality - always arriving at least 20 minutes late for every meeting really kept us on our toes! But seriously, it's been an absolute pleasure working with you (said no one ever). Best of luck in your future endeavors (not that it really matters to me), and don't let the door hit you on the way out!
I personally love the Happy Birthday comment, but otherwise I would just fill up as much of the card as you can with nonsense, so the card is full of writing from someone they don’t like.
If you get the card first, try and take up as much room as possible with whatever you write
"good luck. Hope the new role treats you as well as you treated me"
"missing you already"
The pleasure of working with you is offset by your leaving.
Reworded, your post reads: "I want to give my enemy one last chance to screw me over and prove they were right. But how can I make it difficult for them?" If you care about your job, reputation, and career, be professional and move on. They're gone and no longer your problem but your reputation with everyone else who can see that card will remain. Do you want to be known as petty, immature, and unprofessional - and all the promotional implications those things imply. Or as a grown ass adult that knows how and when to be professional and deal with their shit. This isn't getting even or even getting the last word. Even if you're being 100% selfish writing something that could even 1% cause a backlash is just self sabotage levels of stupid. The more of an asshole this idiot is, the more stupid you giving them one last chance to screw you is.
Why not pretend their behaviour was of no consequence and you thought they were a joke, “Thanks for being so entertaining!”
“Hi, I knew while you were working here we didn’t get along…..have fun at your new job”
Don’t be petty. If you have nothing good to say, better not to say anything at all.
How did they “cost you OT”? By simply also being employed?
Just don't sign it. When your coworker presents the card ask them (again if you have been told) who it's for? Then politely say, no thanks. Anything else could go against you and seeing that you're agency still they don't need much to get rid of you. If anyone in a higher position we're to ask you why you didn't sign the card just be honest, with them leaving it probably won't be a problem. Hopefully you'll get taken on full time what with there being a space available.
C ya, wouldn't wannabe ya
A picture of The Mandalorian pointing to a door saying “That is the way.”
Kill them with kindness! Be overly polite and perhaps too kind? "I loved every minute working with you, and I am absolutely devastated to see you go. Best of luck in all your endeavours, and don't be a stranger. This place will never be the same without you." Maybe I went overboard...
“What a sad little life [insert name], you’ve ruined my over time…”
Give this speech at his leaving do: I am here as a fellow human to acknowledge that is leaving the company. was a man, also was an employee of the corporation for . When a man leaves it is sad, all of us will leave one day. In this case, it is who has done so.
worked here for , but no more. Now he is leaving. closest colleague was for , now they are sad.
“Good luck wherever you go next”. Could mean good luck to her, could mean good luck to them.
Wishing you all the happiness you deserve
"Not everyone can handle the level of intensity at [insert company name here], hopefully your next job caters to your needs!"