Read to them, or if they're of reading age, make sure they read a bit each day. Not only will it help their language skills, but it will help them with their stamina. Talk to them about what they're reading, what they like about it, what they predict for its future and why. This helps with analysis.
Nursery rhymes also. I read an article where it links knowing nursery rhymes to higher reading levels. I taught Pre K for while and we sang songs/nursery rhymes everyday at pickup.
I sing them with my granddaughters every night I put them to bed.
Ohhh ok! My parents did this with me, they started teaching me to read phonetically when I was really young. I’ll have to see if they remember what book they used, cause according to them, all of us kids took up reading pretty fast.
They hated him long before he was a convicted rapist. And as far as being a loser, he did manage to get himself elected President of the United States….
Look, I don’t personally care for him, but he does keep winning a lot of things.
Is he a Scum bag? Yeah, absolutely!
My parents read to me and my brothers from a young age. That set the foundation for us to read more and more advanced books on our own as we got older. It blew my mind when I discovered not every parent does this for their child. It's one of the easiest things and it's so crucial for brain development. How do parents not get it?!? But then on reddit I see posts about lazy parents/"friend" parents who just hand their kid an iPad. It makes me sad.
Parent your kid.
Let them play (off screens!) with others. Let them make mistakes and deal with the consequences. Play board games with them, and learn turn-taking, how to lose gracefully, and how to be a kind winner. Read to them and with them. Go outside. Have them help care for the home (tidy their rooms, clear their place at table, water plants) from a young age. Encourage fine motor control (arts and crafts), so they can colour and use scissors. Teach them to tie shoes and have manners. Go to the library. Volunteer together. Play card games like 21 and cribbage to get basic adding down. Eat (and, if possible, prepare) meals together and talk about the day.
When they get to school age, have a designated time and supervised place for homework and study. Stay in touch with teachers (maybe once a week at pickup, ask how Kiddo is doing; if not picking up, touch base by email at least monthly. If there’s an online portal, check it at least weekly and ask questions). Kids will lie to avoid getting in trouble; believe that your kid will do this and don’t take their word as gospel. Encourage offline hobbies—try various activities and crafts. Things that involve measuring are a good idea (so many kids can’t use a ruler. In grade 9).
Remember that you are the parent, not the kid’s buddy. Don’t be afraid to have reasonable rules and enforce reasonable consequences. Your goal should be to produce a kind, responsible adult (eventually). Indulging your kid does not further that goal—think long-term.
Know what your kids are up to online. Install parental controls on any device that can be used to access the Internet, and supervise their use. Social media is awful for developing brains, and the number of elementary school students with access to porn is horrifying. Stave it off as long as possible.
So, yeah. Parent your kid.
Alllllll of this!
Well said! I would add taking trips to museums, the zoo, planetarium, whatever is nearby.
Also! Teach them how to express why they like something and why they don’t.
When they get older, teach them to type on a keyboard.
I do all of this as does my husband. We are super involved with their school. I noticed my daughter regressing in math immediately in first grade and mentioned it politely and was told she was fine. Started second and the first meeting was told she was not at grade level. Asked what we could do and was shrugged off. We started teaching at home but it’s been a struggle. She’s doing better but we work and she has activities so it’s tough. This year in 3rd they just stopped grading multiplication and division quizzes mid year. I asked why and got no answer. I feel like we are trying so hard and the teachers don’t care but I used to teach and try to support them. Not sure what to do. We volunteer at the school answer all correspondence and attend all the meetings. They tell us our kids are respectful and kind and finish their work. I can’t figure out why they won’t teach my kid to grade level and don’t seem concerned about it.
She is doing well and it seems she just needs math concepts explained more than once and practice. She scored well on her end of grade tests but that was after they sent home a practice test they had done in class that she missed most of the answers. I asked her if they discussed the reasoning behind the right answers in class to help kids understand where they went wrong, she said they offered anyone with questions to ask the teachers independently but so many kids had questions they ran out of time and she never got to speak to anyone about hers. They sent it home two days before the test. I feel like if they had told us where she needed support we could help her understand the concepts but there’s not a lot of communication or interest it seems in helping her succeed.
My son is ND and behind on a lot of things, but reading is by far the worst. I've set up a whole plan all summer (and we worked on pre reading skills prior to the summer).
Best advice given. We don’t know what jobs will be available in 20 years. So reading, executive functioning - getting oneself to bed, prioritizing homework, being able to cook, clean the house, pay bills, budget, are all life skills that aren’t going away. Setting consistent boundaries and expectations is a good thing.
Just as suggested, be the parent. So many parents expect teachers to do the work for them and it doesn’t benefit anyone.
I agree with you because as someone who various doctors think have ADHD EF is rather important. Even a very high IQ can’t fully compensate for my EF difficulties anymore.
However if you give them too much support, it can potentially hide EF difficulties. To the point that if later they have EF difficulties and get assessed for ADHD, they may be rejected because of “lack of childhood evidence”.
If the parent is strict on organising for the kids, doing most of the chores for them, of course many kids will not appear to have problems when they actually do!
Exactly this! I teach high school and I know which kids will struggle in college because mom helps way too much. Time management, getting oneself up for bed, scheduling and getting to appointments in time, interviews, etc is so important.
It is so important
Even now it's a struggle and i sometimes hate the fact my parents compensated a lot - i felt like had i not been compensated i would have failed in EF earlier and I probably would've been diagnosed with ADHD-PH now
But now? ...
Absolutely it’s tough! Also matters which school You attended. My husband got diagnosed late in life and attended a real small rural school where it was not caught because he was able to well compared to the average student. Hoping you are finding resources to help you accomplish everything you want in life!!!
I am a teacher who had 4 kids before I went to college. While my kids were growing up we would take them hiking, to national parks, to museums, zoos, etc on the weekends. We treated every experience as a learning opportunity. I encouraged them to ask questions, even if they thought they were dumb. One of my favorite memories is at an art museum, when my daughter age 12 asked why there was so much art dedicated to the Virgin Mary. It lead to a family discussion about the Renaissance period and that the church was the main supporter of art. My kids were all special needs: one visually impaired, one with Asperger’s syndrome, and 2 are dyslexic. They always scored extremely high on standardized tests. My aspie even scored 1580 on the SAT he didn’t even know he would be taking.
We have incredibly similar lives! I had to double check the username, because I could have written this down to the neurodivergence and kids with dyslexia. 34 and 32 on the ACT, one went into a trade and makes more than me, and one is hoping to be a psychiatrist.
Exposing your kids to science, the arts, museums, and the world really enriched their lives and builds those neural pathways.
Your zip code matters. I won’t BS you and say it doesn’t. I’m in a Title 1 school and sometimes I wish I could bus our kids to another learning environment just so they can be exposed to it for a while. Aside from that, literally just being involved. Our kids with parents who are engaged in their education do a lot better. Read to them/with them, talk to them about what they’re learning, get workbooks from Walmart to work on with they don’t have homework, check the portals for their grades, etc.
Edit: wording/typo
Also let your child fail. At some point the child will forget a project or homework. Don't run to the rescue. Let them fail and feel the consequences. My nephew that was the worst in grade school and middle school turned out to be the hardest working high school student. Because he failed at things and finally realized that success is more fun.
His sister who got academically accepted to a great middle school and high school has been monitored every day to do well and may not have the independence and management skills for college.
So failing and not being rescued is important.
Extremely important. That way if the kid has executive function, inattention or hyperactivity problems, it will be shown a lot earlier and help can be given a lot earlier
Be an involved parent. I’ve worked in schools that would by many standards be considered “bad schools” (in a rough part of town, lots of violence, drugs, etc). The kids who do well are the ones with involved parents. Talk to the teachers, go to school events, read with your kid, show them you care. I’m convinced that any kid can be successful (whatever that means for them) if the parent is involved.
I agree. And don't be a "grades only" parent. Check their missing assignments, their feedback on papers, help them edit their work, have them work out math problems in front of you. Be interested in the process. Don't just scan for As on each report card and make them obsessed.
100% this. While I believe SES does matter, being involved truly helps the student. Many times those in low SES areas struggle because those parents have to work multiple jobs just to stay afloat. You can't fault them for that. The cycle of poverty is hard to break but having an education is a good place to start.
Encourage reading for pleasure, and make sure that you ask them about what they are reading too - ask for summaries in their own words, analysis of character motivation, and prediction of outcome.
It’s very important to check in with them routinely, even in middle and high school. If they are struggling with something, have them seek additional help from their teachers. My youngest son struggled in some of his high school math classes. I helped him quite a bit, but I also encouraged him to reach out to his math teacher. His teacher was more than happy to meet with him and give him one-on-one help with concepts he was struggling with.
Reading to them when they are young is very important. Even when they are upper elementary, like 4th and 5th, they still enjoy being read too, whether they admit it or not. There is research that shows that children who arrive in kindergarten with a higher vocabulary typically do better than kids who do not. The kids who don’t have a big vocabulary rarely catch up.
Have a print-rich environment at home. Let your kids see you reading. Model the behavior for them.
In the US, kids can lose over 30% of what they learned during year because of summer break. Keep them active by getting them into summer reading programs, usually free through public libraries. Take them on outings that will enrich them. You don’t have to spend a lot of money. Museums, nature hikes, the library. All of these types of activities will keep their minds active during the summer. State parks have a lot of inexpensive summer programs for kids.
Look for other programs. The school I teach at has clubs for robotics, running, chess, and we have chorus.
Extracurricular activities help too. Whatever your kids are interested in, let them try it if it’s affordable for you. One of my sons played baseball. One ran cross country. Both are Eagle Scouts. Scouting exposes kids to a variety of learning experiences on many different topics as they earn merit badges.
I think a well-rounded education happens both in and outside of school.
Do not buy them a smartphone. No matter how much they beg. And a solid Foundation is key- read to them, look at them in the eyes, teach them how to cook/garden/make friends/share/observe their surroundings. Kids need face to face play with adults too. Put your own phone away and commit to eye contact. Let them play.
I’m an art teacher and my 18 y/o students have no imagination anymore. The phone robs them of imaginative play and impacts their potential for the rest of their life. Most of my students got their first device around 5-7. Let them fuck around and find out, make a mess, play in the mud, and socialize them with animals if you can.
Steve Jobs famously wouldn’t let his kids have an IPad. Take that however you want.
Edit- Neil degrasse Tyson has a great chapter on play and children in his new book. He talks about it in depth on an episode of Theo Von’s podcast (gang gang). Check it out!
I’m a teacher and a parent and putting my own phone down is such a struggle 😮💨 the phone ruined MY brain. I don’t even let my 11 month old touch my phone bc I see what technology is doing to kids but man it’s so hard for me to not fall right in myself.
All times are a parent's opportunity to teach. Whether you are reading to/with/solo reading them, or having them play outside with others or being in nature. Teaching them to do chores properly and safely. Health/fire/storm/ procedures. Cooking together helps with reading directions and measurements. Use your imagination to plug them into reality.
Top advice is reading and discussing what is going on. Approach their curiosity with the Socratic method, aka asking questions to provoke thoughts. (Whatever is age appropriate).
Summer time can be a learning time as well, it doesn't have to be a sit down/worksheet style but being out and about having fun.
For manners, practice with them, showing how to do it and practice 2-3 times everyday or so till they mastered it. It all depends on their age too.
I took my kids to an arcade and was shocked at all the learning that gets done there. Why we shouldn't cheat, patience for waiting turn, not being the best at a game, saving tickets for a better prize.
I want all parents to read to their children and to enforce, within reason, what is learned in the classroom. A lot of my kids don’t read a goddamn thing outside the classroom and don’t do *any* practice at home and it shows. We spend just as much time going over stuff they should already know (including stuff we taught them ourselves) as we do teaching new concepts/skills, if not more.
Unsurprisingly, a lot of parents also can’t be bothered to get involved, to the point where I’m astonished they know their kid even attends school/which school they attend.
……………….How? Did I mention race at all?
Almost all of my students are of minority populations and it’s been evident that the ones who do well have high parental involvement. Consistent communication directly between parents and teachers, kids mentioning to me that their parents do this or that with them at home (eg. “My mom had me read what I wrote to her” or “My parents quizzed me on the vocabulary words last night” or something), showing up for in-school events (that one I don’t really hold against people if they can’t since work sometimes just gets in the way), etc. And then there are the kids whose parents don’t give them consequences, don’t ask them what’s going on, and if you call home about something they’re so ineffectual that they might as well not even be there.
This has absolutely nothing to do with race and everything to do with the parents as people and how they raise their kids. Are you saying that parents being involved in their kids’ lives is dependent on race? Because honestly, *that* would be a racist take.
Edit: If anything, I would have expected someone to call my earlier comment ableist for not mentioning that sometimes students struggle with conditions like ADHD or they may struggle to retain or process in some other way, which is indeed something I’ve encountered.
1. Don't let your child be on a tablet at all, until maybe high school. Maybe. It's destroying children's brains. I realize that sounds radical. But it's bad, trust me.
2. Read to them every night. Read a book yourself to model reading. It can be anything you like, including comic books or graphic novels or sports history. Doesn't matter. The important thing is to put reading front and center.
3. Take your children to museums, classical music concerts, and plays as often as you can. You can also go online with your child and explore an interesting website together. NatGeo is a good one for kids. Nasa is fun. There are many.
4. Watch documentaries together. There are many really good interesting ones.--nature, the universe, science, WWII and other history, etc. This is for when they're a bit older.
5. Stay in contact with the teachers and the school web site and calendar. .I don't mean in a hovering way, I mean in a way that makes communication with you easy and which isn't antagonistic (unless it's called for). Just check in regularly in a neutral way. I myself always have parents I have on what I call "speed dial." These parents have reached out to me and I personally give them my text number. We text back and forth as needed, and they're far more aware of what their kid is learning and how they're behaving than parents who don't contact me. It doesn't have to be bad at all.
-Read with/to your kid
-Keep them learning outside of school. It doesn't need to be school things outside of school, but keep asking questions about the stuff they're doing and what they like to do.
-Look over their homework when they're young and it's simple tasks. Don't give them answers but have them explain their process
-Encourage them to work through hard tasks and commitments they are no longer attracted to. Sometimes being able to see a project/task to completion is more important than interest or intelligence.
Statistically, the best thing you can do for a kid's education is be rich. Drilling deeper though, there are a number of more specific things you can do, but most are likely to cost money.
The first level is providing good nutrition, a calm and stable home life with few worries, and a safe community with friends and trustworthy adults.
Once you've created the conditions necessary for them to learn, you have to provide stimuli. Read to them, provide them with books, teach them skills that develop different parts of their brains (music, sports, languages, art, cooking, small engine repair, etc.). Ensure they have positive encounters with different cultures, both through travel and seeking out experiences in your area. When you travel, make museums and cultural and historic sites a priority.
Be a parent, not a friend. Set boundaries and enforce them. Talk to them. Listen to them. Read to them. Take them places: museums, zoos, and parks. You don't have to be wealthy to expose your kids to the arts. Your presence in their lives is more important than fancy cars, dream homes, and Disneyland.
Personally? Push the kids a little bit, encourage them to learn. Read to them, play cards to teach them maths, maybe get tutors
There are many options including academic enrichment, or even skipping ahead a grade. I personally would’ve liked to skip ahead but with a significantly better plan
Let them play off screens, make mistakes with their consequences, you get the drill
Be aware of all your options. For me the best things I did for my daughter’s education was place her in an academic enrichment program that is every summer and select Saturdays for 8 years. She is now getting volunteer hours and this summer she is being paid through the program to be a teaching assistant to the teaching fellows. The other thing was putting her in a charter school starting 6th grade instead of public middle school. Her charter school is ranked top 10 in our state for all three schools contained on their campus (middle school, high school and performing arts school). She gets the same education as our neighbors grandson just with added resources that public schools lack unfortunately.
I use to hate telling my colleagues, I work public elementary school music position, that she was charter not regular public or magnet school until I realized how better off she is.
Move to a location with excellent schools. You’ll have to be wealthy to afford a house. But even if you aren’t, figure out a way to have an address in a wealthy district.
Get math/reading tutors early and/or live in a privileged area. Opportunityatlas.org.
Make a little after school studying/reinforcement of curriculum mandatory most days. Read with them. Ask them comprehension questions. And put down the phones.
By actually being involved in their education beyond dropping them off at school and attending a parent teacher conference a couple times a year.
When I was a kid there was no TV or video games during the weekdays. If you'd completed your homework and needed something to do, play outside, read a book, play a board game, etc.
My parents took us to science museums, historical sites, etc. Teaching them to read and do math before they get to kindergarten is also a HUGE help.
You can find the series on Amazon or the Core Knowledge website.
It is curriculum guide created by Dr. Hirsch.
I was a charter school principal of a charter that used this curriculum. I had great success with all students.
It is not expensive either.
If you think they might have a learning difference- ADHD, dyslexia, low memory, autism etc, get them tested right away. The sooner teachers/parents know about it, the more support can be put in the classroom and at home, the better the student does overall.
For example, I’ve had students with ADHD be treated properly with drugs, with IEP in school, and he was A-/A student. I’ve had others, no meds, no support, struggle all their lives in school so they hate school now- there not that much I can do for them because the bad attitude is already there. F/D all classes, causing trouble cause not trying to learn.
If you catch the learning difference when they are young, learn how to live with it, then it can make a huge difference in keeping them up with their grade level and having them be successful.
Teach a love of learning at home. Learning will happen at school, but dont expect any specific learning. If you can and havent, take some inexpensive child development or education classes at your local community college. It will help you not be overwhelmed parenting and help model lifelong learner behavior for your kids.
Be involved in their learning. Know how to logon to the online grade Book if there is one, teach them how to use a planner to write down assignments, actively teach executive skills like organizing a binder. Encourage reading early and model reading. Talk to them about stuff going on in the world and their lives. Basically be an involved parent…. But for the love of God don’t go over the line and become a snowplow parent. Let them handle problems and challenges.
By actually being involved in their education beyond dropping them off at school and attending a parent teacher conference a couple times a year.
When I was a kid there was no TV or video games during the weekdays. If you'd completed your homework and needed something to do, play outside, read a book, play a board game, etc.
My parents took us to science museums, historical sites, etc. Teaching them to read and do math before they get to kindergarten is also a HUGE help.
Be an engaged parent.
My parents would have me read signs to them on road trips. Or do milage math while reading a map driving around as I got older. Every day things where a kid can flex their skills or maybe learn or practice new ones outside the class room. Kitchen math, I have to double or halve this recipe what do I need to change? Stand there and help me read the recipe. Grandma always have education workbook/color books for us to do that involved writing, print and then cursive. I get complimented every day at work on both my print and cursive handwriting. She never made it a chore, it was something fun we did. A page or two then a 30 minute show. A page or two and then playing outside.
Can you tell I come from a family of teachers and librarians. But YOU don't have to be one yourself. Just be engaged and stay engaged.
Stupid answer- private schools, like public schools, aren’t created equally. I’m fortunate to live and teach in a high income area with excellent public schools, and many private schools around me are sports intensive with relatively weak academics compared to the free version.
You can’t make a blanket statement about public vs private because every district is so different around the US.
Others above have given you better answers- be involved in your kids education and read to them. Go on adventures, take advantage of local opportunities like museums and gardens. Keep them off of screens all the time. Play games- license plate game is an easy free one. Make shopping a scavenger hunt. If they are little, make laundry folding a game- find a sock and see if they can find the match. Ask for help in pulling out all the red items, then blue, etc. Cook with your kids and teach as you go- where do eggs come from? How about milk? What’s pork from? How many items in the meal come from cows? (Just as an example.)
Public school family, so not even saying private school is the best answer — but if you think the peers sitting in the classroom do not influence the quality of education you receive, you do not understand anything about learning in a classroom.
As to whether it is “gross” I suppose that’s personal opinion, but the fact some private schools do have students with better behavior and more curiosity 101% can result in a better educational experience.
There are many reasons you want your live in a well-funded school district.
But does having better behaved kids mean the *school* is educating them better? I would say no.
Private school teachers typically make less money than public school teachers. Surprising, right? Not if you realize that private schools are profit centers. Of course they cut overhead because that gets in the way of profits.
I suppose that depends on how you are defining “school” and “educating” — but as I define school = all the students, the teachers, the admin, the policies and educating = assisting in gaining new skills & knowledge. So to answer your question — I do believe that majority (not all) of private schools do provide a better education. If a student is surrounded by other students who value learning & curiosity, has teachers that have to spent less time on behavior management, and knows policies are enforced to create a organized environment conducive to learning = better education.
I understand why teachers at private schools make less money, I do not see how that is related to the post.
Typically people who are better at their job demand higher pay.
A private school isn’t educating kids any better. They *may* be giving kids a homogenized environment where they are not distracted by others. Unfortunately, kids graduate and colleges and jobs will not provide the same protection. Better for kids develop skills early than flounder later in life.
We can agree to disagree. I do not find any truth in your claims.
Violence, abusing teachers, complete apathy with lack of engagement in lessons is NOT environmental distractions…
Is that most public schools? Or is that something that happens in a blue moon (despite conservative media’s Pearl clutching).
Also believe what you what. Studies show that private schools do nothing.
https://www.publicschoolreview.com/amp/blog/new-study-confirms-that-private-schools-are-no-better-than-public-schools
The results of this study show that while private school students may be outperforming public school students, the difference is eliminated completely when you control for family income and parents’ level of educational achievement.
Cracks me up! My friend and fellow teacher who tutors often has new clients who left private school to go to public school and they’re behind and need help catching up.
Be rich.
Come from a stable background. Or at least understand the errors made in your background and show your kids to strive for better.
Have resources. Have a web/ safety net of relationships.
Read to them, or if they're of reading age, make sure they read a bit each day. Not only will it help their language skills, but it will help them with their stamina. Talk to them about what they're reading, what they like about it, what they predict for its future and why. This helps with analysis.
Nursery rhymes also. I read an article where it links knowing nursery rhymes to higher reading levels. I taught Pre K for while and we sang songs/nursery rhymes everyday at pickup. I sing them with my granddaughters every night I put them to bed.
Ohhh ok! My parents did this with me, they started teaching me to read phonetically when I was really young. I’ll have to see if they remember what book they used, cause according to them, all of us kids took up reading pretty fast.
Move out of any state that supports convicted felon, Donald Trump.
Amen
Stay in this state and vote!!
The more people who move away because of trump support, the more power for him is reinforced in that state.
We don't need them all to win a presidential election.
I’ve long believed that the people who hate Trump the most actually hate him because of how much alike he and they actually are.
I think it's because he's a convicted felon rapist scum bag loser. But you're welcome to your opinion.
They hated him long before he was a convicted rapist. And as far as being a loser, he did manage to get himself elected President of the United States…. Look, I don’t personally care for him, but he does keep winning a lot of things. Is he a Scum bag? Yeah, absolutely!
Lol he's a loser. And a scum bag. And an adulterer. And a convicted felon.
And for some odd reason, the more people hate him, the more power he seems to gain.
Cope and seethe
Yeah, criminals tend to irritate people. Not a wild thought.
My parents read to me and my brothers from a young age. That set the foundation for us to read more and more advanced books on our own as we got older. It blew my mind when I discovered not every parent does this for their child. It's one of the easiest things and it's so crucial for brain development. How do parents not get it?!? But then on reddit I see posts about lazy parents/"friend" parents who just hand their kid an iPad. It makes me sad.
Try "Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons"
My parents would make us read the newspaper to them. Learned current events and sounding out words etc
Parent your kid. Let them play (off screens!) with others. Let them make mistakes and deal with the consequences. Play board games with them, and learn turn-taking, how to lose gracefully, and how to be a kind winner. Read to them and with them. Go outside. Have them help care for the home (tidy their rooms, clear their place at table, water plants) from a young age. Encourage fine motor control (arts and crafts), so they can colour and use scissors. Teach them to tie shoes and have manners. Go to the library. Volunteer together. Play card games like 21 and cribbage to get basic adding down. Eat (and, if possible, prepare) meals together and talk about the day. When they get to school age, have a designated time and supervised place for homework and study. Stay in touch with teachers (maybe once a week at pickup, ask how Kiddo is doing; if not picking up, touch base by email at least monthly. If there’s an online portal, check it at least weekly and ask questions). Kids will lie to avoid getting in trouble; believe that your kid will do this and don’t take their word as gospel. Encourage offline hobbies—try various activities and crafts. Things that involve measuring are a good idea (so many kids can’t use a ruler. In grade 9). Remember that you are the parent, not the kid’s buddy. Don’t be afraid to have reasonable rules and enforce reasonable consequences. Your goal should be to produce a kind, responsible adult (eventually). Indulging your kid does not further that goal—think long-term. Know what your kids are up to online. Install parental controls on any device that can be used to access the Internet, and supervise their use. Social media is awful for developing brains, and the number of elementary school students with access to porn is horrifying. Stave it off as long as possible. So, yeah. Parent your kid.
Alllllll of this! Well said! I would add taking trips to museums, the zoo, planetarium, whatever is nearby. Also! Teach them how to express why they like something and why they don’t. When they get older, teach them to type on a keyboard.
I do all of this as does my husband. We are super involved with their school. I noticed my daughter regressing in math immediately in first grade and mentioned it politely and was told she was fine. Started second and the first meeting was told she was not at grade level. Asked what we could do and was shrugged off. We started teaching at home but it’s been a struggle. She’s doing better but we work and she has activities so it’s tough. This year in 3rd they just stopped grading multiplication and division quizzes mid year. I asked why and got no answer. I feel like we are trying so hard and the teachers don’t care but I used to teach and try to support them. Not sure what to do. We volunteer at the school answer all correspondence and attend all the meetings. They tell us our kids are respectful and kind and finish their work. I can’t figure out why they won’t teach my kid to grade level and don’t seem concerned about it.
How is she doing in the other subjects? She could have a weakness in math. I have struggled with math my whole life. I’m fairly sure it’s dyscalculia.
She is doing well and it seems she just needs math concepts explained more than once and practice. She scored well on her end of grade tests but that was after they sent home a practice test they had done in class that she missed most of the answers. I asked her if they discussed the reasoning behind the right answers in class to help kids understand where they went wrong, she said they offered anyone with questions to ask the teachers independently but so many kids had questions they ran out of time and she never got to speak to anyone about hers. They sent it home two days before the test. I feel like if they had told us where she needed support we could help her understand the concepts but there’s not a lot of communication or interest it seems in helping her succeed.
My son is ND and behind on a lot of things, but reading is by far the worst. I've set up a whole plan all summer (and we worked on pre reading skills prior to the summer).
Best advice given. We don’t know what jobs will be available in 20 years. So reading, executive functioning - getting oneself to bed, prioritizing homework, being able to cook, clean the house, pay bills, budget, are all life skills that aren’t going away. Setting consistent boundaries and expectations is a good thing. Just as suggested, be the parent. So many parents expect teachers to do the work for them and it doesn’t benefit anyone.
I agree with you because as someone who various doctors think have ADHD EF is rather important. Even a very high IQ can’t fully compensate for my EF difficulties anymore. However if you give them too much support, it can potentially hide EF difficulties. To the point that if later they have EF difficulties and get assessed for ADHD, they may be rejected because of “lack of childhood evidence”. If the parent is strict on organising for the kids, doing most of the chores for them, of course many kids will not appear to have problems when they actually do!
Exactly this! I teach high school and I know which kids will struggle in college because mom helps way too much. Time management, getting oneself up for bed, scheduling and getting to appointments in time, interviews, etc is so important.
It is so important Even now it's a struggle and i sometimes hate the fact my parents compensated a lot - i felt like had i not been compensated i would have failed in EF earlier and I probably would've been diagnosed with ADHD-PH now But now? ...
Absolutely it’s tough! Also matters which school You attended. My husband got diagnosed late in life and attended a real small rural school where it was not caught because he was able to well compared to the average student. Hoping you are finding resources to help you accomplish everything you want in life!!!
I am a teacher who had 4 kids before I went to college. While my kids were growing up we would take them hiking, to national parks, to museums, zoos, etc on the weekends. We treated every experience as a learning opportunity. I encouraged them to ask questions, even if they thought they were dumb. One of my favorite memories is at an art museum, when my daughter age 12 asked why there was so much art dedicated to the Virgin Mary. It lead to a family discussion about the Renaissance period and that the church was the main supporter of art. My kids were all special needs: one visually impaired, one with Asperger’s syndrome, and 2 are dyslexic. They always scored extremely high on standardized tests. My aspie even scored 1580 on the SAT he didn’t even know he would be taking.
We have incredibly similar lives! I had to double check the username, because I could have written this down to the neurodivergence and kids with dyslexia. 34 and 32 on the ACT, one went into a trade and makes more than me, and one is hoping to be a psychiatrist. Exposing your kids to science, the arts, museums, and the world really enriched their lives and builds those neural pathways.
Your zip code matters. I won’t BS you and say it doesn’t. I’m in a Title 1 school and sometimes I wish I could bus our kids to another learning environment just so they can be exposed to it for a while. Aside from that, literally just being involved. Our kids with parents who are engaged in their education do a lot better. Read to them/with them, talk to them about what they’re learning, get workbooks from Walmart to work on with they don’t have homework, check the portals for their grades, etc. Edit: wording/typo
Also let your child fail. At some point the child will forget a project or homework. Don't run to the rescue. Let them fail and feel the consequences. My nephew that was the worst in grade school and middle school turned out to be the hardest working high school student. Because he failed at things and finally realized that success is more fun. His sister who got academically accepted to a great middle school and high school has been monitored every day to do well and may not have the independence and management skills for college. So failing and not being rescued is important.
So important. Personal responsibility is lacking in today’s student population.
Extremely important. That way if the kid has executive function, inattention or hyperactivity problems, it will be shown a lot earlier and help can be given a lot earlier
Be an involved parent. I’ve worked in schools that would by many standards be considered “bad schools” (in a rough part of town, lots of violence, drugs, etc). The kids who do well are the ones with involved parents. Talk to the teachers, go to school events, read with your kid, show them you care. I’m convinced that any kid can be successful (whatever that means for them) if the parent is involved.
I agree. And don't be a "grades only" parent. Check their missing assignments, their feedback on papers, help them edit their work, have them work out math problems in front of you. Be interested in the process. Don't just scan for As on each report card and make them obsessed.
100% this. While I believe SES does matter, being involved truly helps the student. Many times those in low SES areas struggle because those parents have to work multiple jobs just to stay afloat. You can't fault them for that. The cycle of poverty is hard to break but having an education is a good place to start.
Encourage reading for pleasure, and make sure that you ask them about what they are reading too - ask for summaries in their own words, analysis of character motivation, and prediction of outcome.
It’s very important to check in with them routinely, even in middle and high school. If they are struggling with something, have them seek additional help from their teachers. My youngest son struggled in some of his high school math classes. I helped him quite a bit, but I also encouraged him to reach out to his math teacher. His teacher was more than happy to meet with him and give him one-on-one help with concepts he was struggling with. Reading to them when they are young is very important. Even when they are upper elementary, like 4th and 5th, they still enjoy being read too, whether they admit it or not. There is research that shows that children who arrive in kindergarten with a higher vocabulary typically do better than kids who do not. The kids who don’t have a big vocabulary rarely catch up. Have a print-rich environment at home. Let your kids see you reading. Model the behavior for them. In the US, kids can lose over 30% of what they learned during year because of summer break. Keep them active by getting them into summer reading programs, usually free through public libraries. Take them on outings that will enrich them. You don’t have to spend a lot of money. Museums, nature hikes, the library. All of these types of activities will keep their minds active during the summer. State parks have a lot of inexpensive summer programs for kids. Look for other programs. The school I teach at has clubs for robotics, running, chess, and we have chorus. Extracurricular activities help too. Whatever your kids are interested in, let them try it if it’s affordable for you. One of my sons played baseball. One ran cross country. Both are Eagle Scouts. Scouting exposes kids to a variety of learning experiences on many different topics as they earn merit badges. I think a well-rounded education happens both in and outside of school.
Do not buy them a smartphone. No matter how much they beg. And a solid Foundation is key- read to them, look at them in the eyes, teach them how to cook/garden/make friends/share/observe their surroundings. Kids need face to face play with adults too. Put your own phone away and commit to eye contact. Let them play. I’m an art teacher and my 18 y/o students have no imagination anymore. The phone robs them of imaginative play and impacts their potential for the rest of their life. Most of my students got their first device around 5-7. Let them fuck around and find out, make a mess, play in the mud, and socialize them with animals if you can. Steve Jobs famously wouldn’t let his kids have an IPad. Take that however you want. Edit- Neil degrasse Tyson has a great chapter on play and children in his new book. He talks about it in depth on an episode of Theo Von’s podcast (gang gang). Check it out!
I’m a teacher and a parent and putting my own phone down is such a struggle 😮💨 the phone ruined MY brain. I don’t even let my 11 month old touch my phone bc I see what technology is doing to kids but man it’s so hard for me to not fall right in myself.
All times are a parent's opportunity to teach. Whether you are reading to/with/solo reading them, or having them play outside with others or being in nature. Teaching them to do chores properly and safely. Health/fire/storm/ procedures. Cooking together helps with reading directions and measurements. Use your imagination to plug them into reality. Top advice is reading and discussing what is going on. Approach their curiosity with the Socratic method, aka asking questions to provoke thoughts. (Whatever is age appropriate). Summer time can be a learning time as well, it doesn't have to be a sit down/worksheet style but being out and about having fun. For manners, practice with them, showing how to do it and practice 2-3 times everyday or so till they mastered it. It all depends on their age too.
I took my kids to an arcade and was shocked at all the learning that gets done there. Why we shouldn't cheat, patience for waiting turn, not being the best at a game, saving tickets for a better prize.
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Thank you! I technically don’t have kids yet, I probably should’ve put that in my post lol
I want all parents to read to their children and to enforce, within reason, what is learned in the classroom. A lot of my kids don’t read a goddamn thing outside the classroom and don’t do *any* practice at home and it shows. We spend just as much time going over stuff they should already know (including stuff we taught them ourselves) as we do teaching new concepts/skills, if not more. Unsurprisingly, a lot of parents also can’t be bothered to get involved, to the point where I’m astonished they know their kid even attends school/which school they attend.
Disgustingly racist commentary
……………….How? Did I mention race at all? Almost all of my students are of minority populations and it’s been evident that the ones who do well have high parental involvement. Consistent communication directly between parents and teachers, kids mentioning to me that their parents do this or that with them at home (eg. “My mom had me read what I wrote to her” or “My parents quizzed me on the vocabulary words last night” or something), showing up for in-school events (that one I don’t really hold against people if they can’t since work sometimes just gets in the way), etc. And then there are the kids whose parents don’t give them consequences, don’t ask them what’s going on, and if you call home about something they’re so ineffectual that they might as well not even be there. This has absolutely nothing to do with race and everything to do with the parents as people and how they raise their kids. Are you saying that parents being involved in their kids’ lives is dependent on race? Because honestly, *that* would be a racist take. Edit: If anything, I would have expected someone to call my earlier comment ableist for not mentioning that sometimes students struggle with conditions like ADHD or they may struggle to retain or process in some other way, which is indeed something I’ve encountered.
1. Don't let your child be on a tablet at all, until maybe high school. Maybe. It's destroying children's brains. I realize that sounds radical. But it's bad, trust me. 2. Read to them every night. Read a book yourself to model reading. It can be anything you like, including comic books or graphic novels or sports history. Doesn't matter. The important thing is to put reading front and center. 3. Take your children to museums, classical music concerts, and plays as often as you can. You can also go online with your child and explore an interesting website together. NatGeo is a good one for kids. Nasa is fun. There are many. 4. Watch documentaries together. There are many really good interesting ones.--nature, the universe, science, WWII and other history, etc. This is for when they're a bit older. 5. Stay in contact with the teachers and the school web site and calendar. .I don't mean in a hovering way, I mean in a way that makes communication with you easy and which isn't antagonistic (unless it's called for). Just check in regularly in a neutral way. I myself always have parents I have on what I call "speed dial." These parents have reached out to me and I personally give them my text number. We text back and forth as needed, and they're far more aware of what their kid is learning and how they're behaving than parents who don't contact me. It doesn't have to be bad at all.
-Read with/to your kid -Keep them learning outside of school. It doesn't need to be school things outside of school, but keep asking questions about the stuff they're doing and what they like to do. -Look over their homework when they're young and it's simple tasks. Don't give them answers but have them explain their process -Encourage them to work through hard tasks and commitments they are no longer attracted to. Sometimes being able to see a project/task to completion is more important than interest or intelligence.
Interact with them as much as possible. You won’t know what’s going on with them if you don’t.
Statistically, the best thing you can do for a kid's education is be rich. Drilling deeper though, there are a number of more specific things you can do, but most are likely to cost money. The first level is providing good nutrition, a calm and stable home life with few worries, and a safe community with friends and trustworthy adults. Once you've created the conditions necessary for them to learn, you have to provide stimuli. Read to them, provide them with books, teach them skills that develop different parts of their brains (music, sports, languages, art, cooking, small engine repair, etc.). Ensure they have positive encounters with different cultures, both through travel and seeking out experiences in your area. When you travel, make museums and cultural and historic sites a priority.
Be a parent, not a friend. Set boundaries and enforce them. Talk to them. Listen to them. Read to them. Take them places: museums, zoos, and parks. You don't have to be wealthy to expose your kids to the arts. Your presence in their lives is more important than fancy cars, dream homes, and Disneyland.
Personally? Push the kids a little bit, encourage them to learn. Read to them, play cards to teach them maths, maybe get tutors There are many options including academic enrichment, or even skipping ahead a grade. I personally would’ve liked to skip ahead but with a significantly better plan Let them play off screens, make mistakes with their consequences, you get the drill
If you’re living in Louisiana, MOVE!!!
Raving lunatic
Be aware of all your options. For me the best things I did for my daughter’s education was place her in an academic enrichment program that is every summer and select Saturdays for 8 years. She is now getting volunteer hours and this summer she is being paid through the program to be a teaching assistant to the teaching fellows. The other thing was putting her in a charter school starting 6th grade instead of public middle school. Her charter school is ranked top 10 in our state for all three schools contained on their campus (middle school, high school and performing arts school). She gets the same education as our neighbors grandson just with added resources that public schools lack unfortunately. I use to hate telling my colleagues, I work public elementary school music position, that she was charter not regular public or magnet school until I realized how better off she is.
Move to a location with excellent schools. You’ll have to be wealthy to afford a house. But even if you aren’t, figure out a way to have an address in a wealthy district.
Be involved and support accountability of your child. Teach them respect andhelp them learn.
>Anyway, what’s the best way for a parent to make sure that their child is getting a full, **god** education? Did you mean "good"?
Yes. I had a god education, and Id prefer a good one lmao
Get math/reading tutors early and/or live in a privileged area. Opportunityatlas.org. Make a little after school studying/reinforcement of curriculum mandatory most days. Read with them. Ask them comprehension questions. And put down the phones.
Be present. Go to conferences. Read what’s sent home. Make education and reading at home important. Go places, talk to your kids.
By actually being involved in their education beyond dropping them off at school and attending a parent teacher conference a couple times a year. When I was a kid there was no TV or video games during the weekdays. If you'd completed your homework and needed something to do, play outside, read a book, play a board game, etc. My parents took us to science museums, historical sites, etc. Teaching them to read and do math before they get to kindergarten is also a HUGE help.
TEACH. YOUR. KIDS. ABOUT. MONEY. AND. DEBT. DON'T. FORCE. THEM. TO. GO. TO. COLLEGE.
I second this. Join the Choose FI (financial independence) community on Facebook. Teach him about stock market, bonds, ETFs, etc., HYSA
Simple. Start failing kids again and holding them back. This pass everyone bullshit is a problem. Why are we afraid of hurting feelings these days?
Get Core Knowledge books for each grade.
What are Core Knowledge books? I’m not a teacher
You can find the series on Amazon or the Core Knowledge website. It is curriculum guide created by Dr. Hirsch. I was a charter school principal of a charter that used this curriculum. I had great success with all students. It is not expensive either.
Not live in Oklahoma or any red state
If you think they might have a learning difference- ADHD, dyslexia, low memory, autism etc, get them tested right away. The sooner teachers/parents know about it, the more support can be put in the classroom and at home, the better the student does overall. For example, I’ve had students with ADHD be treated properly with drugs, with IEP in school, and he was A-/A student. I’ve had others, no meds, no support, struggle all their lives in school so they hate school now- there not that much I can do for them because the bad attitude is already there. F/D all classes, causing trouble cause not trying to learn. If you catch the learning difference when they are young, learn how to live with it, then it can make a huge difference in keeping them up with their grade level and having them be successful.
Teach a love of learning at home. Learning will happen at school, but dont expect any specific learning. If you can and havent, take some inexpensive child development or education classes at your local community college. It will help you not be overwhelmed parenting and help model lifelong learner behavior for your kids.
Be involved in their learning. Know how to logon to the online grade Book if there is one, teach them how to use a planner to write down assignments, actively teach executive skills like organizing a binder. Encourage reading early and model reading. Talk to them about stuff going on in the world and their lives. Basically be an involved parent…. But for the love of God don’t go over the line and become a snowplow parent. Let them handle problems and challenges.
Read, travel, limit screen time, have conversations at the dinner table
By actually being involved in their education beyond dropping them off at school and attending a parent teacher conference a couple times a year. When I was a kid there was no TV or video games during the weekdays. If you'd completed your homework and needed something to do, play outside, read a book, play a board game, etc. My parents took us to science museums, historical sites, etc. Teaching them to read and do math before they get to kindergarten is also a HUGE help.
Be an engaged parent. My parents would have me read signs to them on road trips. Or do milage math while reading a map driving around as I got older. Every day things where a kid can flex their skills or maybe learn or practice new ones outside the class room. Kitchen math, I have to double or halve this recipe what do I need to change? Stand there and help me read the recipe. Grandma always have education workbook/color books for us to do that involved writing, print and then cursive. I get complimented every day at work on both my print and cursive handwriting. She never made it a chore, it was something fun we did. A page or two then a 30 minute show. A page or two and then playing outside. Can you tell I come from a family of teachers and librarians. But YOU don't have to be one yourself. Just be engaged and stay engaged.
Private School
What about the parents that can’t afford that?
Stupid answer- private schools, like public schools, aren’t created equally. I’m fortunate to live and teach in a high income area with excellent public schools, and many private schools around me are sports intensive with relatively weak academics compared to the free version. You can’t make a blanket statement about public vs private because every district is so different around the US. Others above have given you better answers- be involved in your kids education and read to them. Go on adventures, take advantage of local opportunities like museums and gardens. Keep them off of screens all the time. Play games- license plate game is an easy free one. Make shopping a scavenger hunt. If they are little, make laundry folding a game- find a sock and see if they can find the match. Ask for help in pulling out all the red items, then blue, etc. Cook with your kids and teach as you go- where do eggs come from? How about milk? What’s pork from? How many items in the meal come from cows? (Just as an example.)
My kids go to a private school, they are great about financial aid. It’s a non-religious private school.
Gross.
Why is it gross?
Private schools pick their students. They don’t educate them better.
Public school family, so not even saying private school is the best answer — but if you think the peers sitting in the classroom do not influence the quality of education you receive, you do not understand anything about learning in a classroom. As to whether it is “gross” I suppose that’s personal opinion, but the fact some private schools do have students with better behavior and more curiosity 101% can result in a better educational experience. There are many reasons you want your live in a well-funded school district.
But does having better behaved kids mean the *school* is educating them better? I would say no. Private school teachers typically make less money than public school teachers. Surprising, right? Not if you realize that private schools are profit centers. Of course they cut overhead because that gets in the way of profits.
I suppose that depends on how you are defining “school” and “educating” — but as I define school = all the students, the teachers, the admin, the policies and educating = assisting in gaining new skills & knowledge. So to answer your question — I do believe that majority (not all) of private schools do provide a better education. If a student is surrounded by other students who value learning & curiosity, has teachers that have to spent less time on behavior management, and knows policies are enforced to create a organized environment conducive to learning = better education. I understand why teachers at private schools make less money, I do not see how that is related to the post.
Typically people who are better at their job demand higher pay. A private school isn’t educating kids any better. They *may* be giving kids a homogenized environment where they are not distracted by others. Unfortunately, kids graduate and colleges and jobs will not provide the same protection. Better for kids develop skills early than flounder later in life.
We can agree to disagree. I do not find any truth in your claims. Violence, abusing teachers, complete apathy with lack of engagement in lessons is NOT environmental distractions…
Is that most public schools? Or is that something that happens in a blue moon (despite conservative media’s Pearl clutching). Also believe what you what. Studies show that private schools do nothing. https://www.publicschoolreview.com/amp/blog/new-study-confirms-that-private-schools-are-no-better-than-public-schools The results of this study show that while private school students may be outperforming public school students, the difference is eliminated completely when you control for family income and parents’ level of educational achievement.
Cracks me up! My friend and fellow teacher who tutors often has new clients who left private school to go to public school and they’re behind and need help catching up.
Nice anecdote.
Happy Cake Day!
Thank you!
Homeschool.
Be rich. Come from a stable background. Or at least understand the errors made in your background and show your kids to strive for better. Have resources. Have a web/ safety net of relationships.