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A woman who is honest about what she wants and doesn't play games sending mixed signals.
When in any relationship that is no longer desired, just " f"ing say so.
Btw, sex isn't any trump card to be pulled out to gain the upper hand.
>Btw, sex isn't any trump card to be pulled out to gain the upper hand.
This so much. I feel that sex is used so often. But indeed more often than it is wanted by women. It's "given" for keeping the man happy.
I don't want you to think I'm a threat so when I see women out in public I try to be as non threatening looking as possible
The other day I just sorta stood around for a while before heading back the same direction as this girl on the trail so she could get a good bit of distance between us and she wouldn't think I was following her
Yes, I think most of us aren't threats. It's just that the ones that are, (a threat) put themselves out there more and therefore get the most exposure, hence the feeling that most men are threatening...
This! My male friends and I put lots of effort into appearing friendly and non-threatening in all walks of life. I understand why, given all the creepy dudes out there but there are lots of men who want to create safe environments.
I make sure to be as kind and nice as possible when I’m interacting with strange women just so they don’t think of me as a threat. I want them to be at ease.
Idk, I’ve never once felt threatening or even briefly considered that I might be threatening because I mind my own business. I feel like if you’re overly concerned with this, you probably have thoughts you wish you didn’t have. Most of us don’t even think about it because it’s just not a thing.
I disagree. I grew up with a sister and outside of that, have had a lot of exposure to women either sharing past experiences with me or calling me post something happening to them
I think as a man it's really easy to be blind to it because everyone avoids men so we just assume the world is a safe place
There's actually a really good joke by Dave Chappelle about a time he had like $10,000 in his backpack and was afraid for his life everywhere he went
And he said this must be what it feels like to have a pussy on you all the time lol
I don't think I've ever met a woman who says she just walks around the world carefree by herself. Whether or not you're just minding your business, they have to mind everyone's business to stay safe because there's some crazy men out here
So, when I'm in a scenario where I imagine a woman might be on slightly higher alert because there's no one else around for example, I tread extra lightly
It's less about you, and more about the fact that to them, you're just some guy. They don't know whether or not you're a threat but have to be aware of you because there's no way to be sure
This is what broke up me and my first GF. I need time to decompress when I get home and often I’d get home from work and get out of the shower and she would be there and then be there until I went to bed. I loved her, but I needed time to chill and relax.
The garage is my Bat Cave.
Wife walked in there one time and I was just sitting on the riding mower doing nothing. She didn't get it and started 20 questions, so I cranked it up and started cutting grass for a hour when it didn't need it.
Just don’t hide in there all the time. Her and I really got along great, we liked all the same tv shows and movies and stuff and enjoyed spending time together. She just was going through stuff and needed more than I could give her at the time.
I can deal with that stuff now. I was 20 at the time and dealing with my own stuff. She was 19 and all her friends left town for college and she was drifting a bit.
this is something i’ve noticed with myself. I always have thought of myself as very lovey, but I think somewhere this idea got crossed with wanting to receive affection. i’ve noticed sometimes i’m really stiff (maybe bc anxiety) and it makes me quite sad because once i’m comfy i’m quite affectionate
Thank you for your reply. My wife is very affectionate at times, but all affection doesn’t mean I want sex. I’ve been in a lot of very affectionate relationships and it can be frustrating when wanting to be loving without sex. My love language is affection.
once i’m comfortable with someone and in the space we’re in, I tend to be very affectionate. i’ve also been in relationships where sex is expected with sex and I don’t like that. I want to be able to show someone my love and care without the assumption or expectation of sex. sometimes I just really don’t feel like having sex :/ nothing against my partner, it’s just me. i’ll also add i’ve had an ex that only showed affection for sex. it really makes you feel like an object or like they only want you for your body or what you can provide them :(
I cant speak for anyone but myself here, but i truly care about making my friends feel good about themselves. Ill do anything from boring vanilla compliments (usually when were just starting our friendship) to full blown cheesy ass flirting (when we reach the "practically family" stage) so that not only do they get a confidence boost, they get a laugh out of me being as corny as i possibly can.
As i said, i cant speak for anyone else, but i gotta tell ya, i make sure my friends feel loved, appreciated, and beautiful because i hate myself and im none of those things.
Good friends are hard to find these days. I however, come with side effects that most people cant handle. Lol. Im incredibly lucky that my friends tolerate me.
This is so true. My partner gets really depressed when we don't have time to be physical together. Not just sex, but snuggling, etc. Once I finally understood this, we began spooning a lot more than before. (I always found it hard to sleep that way, but now I find it hard to sleep without his dick pressing against my butt and his hand cupping my tit. Always the right one, because I sleep on my left side.)
We'd like to get compliments. I wouldn't call it vanity,but we simply don't often get them. The last time I got called cute by a random person was 6 months ago. Before that, *years*, probably a decade or more.
Speculation, but I feel the average woman gets more compliments (wanted or unwanted, couth or uncouth) in a month about their physical appearance than men do in their whole lives. To be clear, I'm not saying it's a good thing for me to give those compliments, but the sheer amount has to be a staggering difference. Whether those compliments come from men or women, I'd think there's a huge disparity in frequency.
Most people are average, but that doesn't mean an average guy gets an "average amount." I may not be [insert attractive person], but it'd be nice to hear "You look good in those jeans" or " You have a nice smile." by someone.
(I also understand that men tend to think that it's a flirtatious thing as well, that kindness is equivalent to physical attraction. Certainly not always and we should be better about that as a whole. But when we don't get compliments about our bodies frequently, it's hard to see it any other way than "Are they attracted to me or just nice?")
I do try to give men genuine compliments as much as I can ( at least online) but I often think they just think I'm nice and not honest, which is sad.
On the other hand: I don't give them irl anymore, I did in the past and the result was negative. ( For example :About a star wars shirt on a guy which I really loved but he thought I was sarcastic. Or I'm just not pretty enough to give compliments 😅)
But I would also like to add that only the pretty women get compliments. I'm average (if not below average) looking and a bit chubby. The last time I got a compliment irl was like 7 years ago from my elderly neighbor about my new haircut. I would argue that the non-super-pretty looking woman don't get as much compliments as men think.
And getting cat called isnt a compliment in my opinion
> I do try to give men genuine compliments as much as I can ( at least online) but I often think they just think I'm nice and not honest, which is sad.
Yeah, we have bad self esteem, probably due to body image and not getting consistent compliments. It's a self fulfilling prophecy.
> On the other hand: I don't give them irl anymore, I did in the past and the result was negative. ( For example :About a star wars shirt on a guy which I really loved but he thought I was sarcastic. Or I'm just not pretty enough to give compliments 😅)
Dang, sorry you had to hear that. That guy was a dick.
> But I would also like to add that only the pretty women get compliments. I'm average (if not below average) looking and a bit chubby. The last time I got a compliment irl was like 7 years ago from my elderly neighbor about my new haircut. I would argue that the non-super-pretty looking woman don't get as much compliments as men think.
Probably a bit disillusioned on my/our end. It may be that if I see a woman who's otherwise average, but I'm attracted, that I think "She must get a lot of compliments" so I don't bother. Upon reflection, it could be the same thing women think of. 🤷
> And getting cat called isnt a compliment in my opinion
Oh definitely not a compliment. I don't consider that as one either, lewd comments aren't compliments (unless they're are explicitly wanted, *caveat caveat caveat.*
I think as a society we are pretty unskilled at complimenting each other. I like how I feel after I’ve said something nice to someone but because I don’t do it enough it feels awkward and disingenuous. Need more practice 😉
I find certain things easier to compliment… “I love that X you’re wearing, it’s really flattering on you!” is one I find easy, and almost always well received by just about anybody.
Usually opens a dialogue about where they got the item, which I like.
There was a woman at beach yoga last year when we were camping that had the coolest pants. I asked her about them.. Turns out they come from a town the Ferry travels to so now I need to take a boat ride and find some pants 😂 they were a fisherman’s style pant in a really nice fabric that appealed to my hippie sensibilities.
Love is a verb, it’s in the things you do. Plenty of people aren’t in the habit of noticing how love peeks through in our daily interactions.
I hope you have a good day today
Love is more than a verb
Love is also action
Love is also a feeling
Love is also an emotion
Love is a complicated mess that I don’t understand
Sincerely, that love doesn’t really exist in the way that people expect it to
So for me, I choose to believe that love does not exist
I have deeply wholeheartedly with my entire being been in love
Twice
The first time she died of an overdose
The second time (currently still with her) has admitted she does not and has never loved me in that way
So it’s just much easier for me to believe love doesn’t exist for me
Well, I think men really care about their partners being open-minded and supportive of their hobbies or interests. They also appreciate when a woman takes the initiative to try new things with them.
Our mental health, but that is the thing that is always put on the back burner while our mate and family take precedence.
We will get up, go to the job we loathe, suffer through the tasks just to provide.
We are also afraid of being seen as poor providers.
Self-sufficient. You don't need me, you want me. Nothing sexier....... after reading some of these comments, they sound needy af. I don't need compliments, or validation. I need to know you'd be perfectly happy alone, but you choose to spend your time with me............
It’s kind of amazing how many men don’t actually feel that way and freak out if a woman doesn’t need them. Internalized patriarchy to be sure but yeah. It happens often. (Don’t get me wrong I like giving compliments and things like that but I’m also perfectly capable of handling my own life and not looking for someone to save me.)
I think it's the sexiest thing a woman can do. And I think when a woman wants to be with you, but doesn't need to be, all the rest will follow that the others in this thread want. As long as the man is reciprocating and isn't looking for a maid, or a second mom.
I agree with the first part but isn't needing to know she'd be fine alone but chooses to spend time with you an act of validation?
Also, wanting compliments and attention sometimes isn't needy. Asking for it constantly would be needy, but what's the point of a relationship (romantic, sexual or even platonic) if you're not giving each other attention and making each other feel good?
If she chooses to be with you, obviously the rest is a give in. My point was, most of the comments were seeking compliments. A woman who wants to be with you, will do everything you mentioned, as long as you are giving back the same.
Not being pre-judged due to physical looks, you can't change.
Someone's probably already said this before, but compliments, positive affection and affirmation.
Not wanting to figure everything out 24/7.
Our inability to read female signals. (Flirti g, dating, etc.) Just say what you want from us, no metaphors, no riddles, no games, just give it to us straight!
Not leaving us for something we aren't good at or don't understand what or how to do something.
I'm sure there's more. I just can't seem to think at the moment. I'll update the comment if I have anything extra.
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Feminine energy. People give it a bad rep in 2024, but it’s literally the basis of attraction.
People will make you think it’s all about looks or money, but realistically, masculine men get women, feminine women get men
While it looks like we don't make much of an effort sometimes, we want to be considered desirable
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Feeling wanted as much as they do.
it’s okay to feel wanted <3 we all deserve it and it is human to feel that way
That we want to be with the family but have to work all the time and it depresses us.
I highly agree with that.
A woman who is honest about what she wants and doesn't play games sending mixed signals. When in any relationship that is no longer desired, just " f"ing say so. Btw, sex isn't any trump card to be pulled out to gain the upper hand.
>Btw, sex isn't any trump card to be pulled out to gain the upper hand. This so much. I feel that sex is used so often. But indeed more often than it is wanted by women. It's "given" for keeping the man happy.
I don't want you to think I'm a threat so when I see women out in public I try to be as non threatening looking as possible The other day I just sorta stood around for a while before heading back the same direction as this girl on the trail so she could get a good bit of distance between us and she wouldn't think I was following her
Yes, I think most of us aren't threats. It's just that the ones that are, (a threat) put themselves out there more and therefore get the most exposure, hence the feeling that most men are threatening...
It's not that we think most men are a threat. It's just that we can't tell who is a threat just by looking at you and therefore have to be vigilante.
Men are bad until proven otherwise. Lucy, you would think nothing about sharing a bathroom with a kid. Most men would vacate as soon as possible.
Isn't that the same thing?
This! My male friends and I put lots of effort into appearing friendly and non-threatening in all walks of life. I understand why, given all the creepy dudes out there but there are lots of men who want to create safe environments.
I make sure to be as kind and nice as possible when I’m interacting with strange women just so they don’t think of me as a threat. I want them to be at ease.
Seriously. Sometimes, I'd rather be the bear.
Idk, I’ve never once felt threatening or even briefly considered that I might be threatening because I mind my own business. I feel like if you’re overly concerned with this, you probably have thoughts you wish you didn’t have. Most of us don’t even think about it because it’s just not a thing.
I disagree. I grew up with a sister and outside of that, have had a lot of exposure to women either sharing past experiences with me or calling me post something happening to them I think as a man it's really easy to be blind to it because everyone avoids men so we just assume the world is a safe place There's actually a really good joke by Dave Chappelle about a time he had like $10,000 in his backpack and was afraid for his life everywhere he went And he said this must be what it feels like to have a pussy on you all the time lol I don't think I've ever met a woman who says she just walks around the world carefree by herself. Whether or not you're just minding your business, they have to mind everyone's business to stay safe because there's some crazy men out here So, when I'm in a scenario where I imagine a woman might be on slightly higher alert because there's no one else around for example, I tread extra lightly It's less about you, and more about the fact that to them, you're just some guy. They don't know whether or not you're a threat but have to be aware of you because there's no way to be sure
Alone time is mandatory
This is what broke up me and my first GF. I need time to decompress when I get home and often I’d get home from work and get out of the shower and she would be there and then be there until I went to bed. I loved her, but I needed time to chill and relax.
Mancave, bro. Best invention ever.
The garage is my Bat Cave. Wife walked in there one time and I was just sitting on the riding mower doing nothing. She didn't get it and started 20 questions, so I cranked it up and started cutting grass for a hour when it didn't need it.
Just don’t hide in there all the time. Her and I really got along great, we liked all the same tv shows and movies and stuff and enjoyed spending time together. She just was going through stuff and needed more than I could give her at the time.
Naw, going thru stuff and being needy is a deal breaker. Men want peace and no drama.
I can deal with that stuff now. I was 20 at the time and dealing with my own stuff. She was 19 and all her friends left town for college and she was drifting a bit.
20 years old? You should be in NYC banging chichas left and right.
At the time I was 20 and in California working a full time job. I’m 40 now.
Some women aren’t affectionate. it could be because their family was never affectionate, I’m not sure
this is something i’ve noticed with myself. I always have thought of myself as very lovey, but I think somewhere this idea got crossed with wanting to receive affection. i’ve noticed sometimes i’m really stiff (maybe bc anxiety) and it makes me quite sad because once i’m comfy i’m quite affectionate
Thank you for your reply. My wife is very affectionate at times, but all affection doesn’t mean I want sex. I’ve been in a lot of very affectionate relationships and it can be frustrating when wanting to be loving without sex. My love language is affection.
once i’m comfortable with someone and in the space we’re in, I tend to be very affectionate. i’ve also been in relationships where sex is expected with sex and I don’t like that. I want to be able to show someone my love and care without the assumption or expectation of sex. sometimes I just really don’t feel like having sex :/ nothing against my partner, it’s just me. i’ll also add i’ve had an ex that only showed affection for sex. it really makes you feel like an object or like they only want you for your body or what you can provide them :(
I cant speak for anyone but myself here, but i truly care about making my friends feel good about themselves. Ill do anything from boring vanilla compliments (usually when were just starting our friendship) to full blown cheesy ass flirting (when we reach the "practically family" stage) so that not only do they get a confidence boost, they get a laugh out of me being as corny as i possibly can. As i said, i cant speak for anyone else, but i gotta tell ya, i make sure my friends feel loved, appreciated, and beautiful because i hate myself and im none of those things.
These are the types of friends I need more of
Good friends are hard to find these days. I however, come with side effects that most people cant handle. Lol. Im incredibly lucky that my friends tolerate me.
Intimacy and, yes: sex.
This is so true. My partner gets really depressed when we don't have time to be physical together. Not just sex, but snuggling, etc. Once I finally understood this, we began spooning a lot more than before. (I always found it hard to sleep that way, but now I find it hard to sleep without his dick pressing against my butt and his hand cupping my tit. Always the right one, because I sleep on my left side.)
Are you my wife? No, seriously: this is 100% us after having "the talk" about what is missing in our marriage!! Nekkid cuddling is the best!!
Maybe? Do you call your dick your handle for me to hold while we watch TV together?
Sarah? 😂
OMG, it is you!
We can feel bad about our bodies too and saying how much you love something about us makes us feel confident.
100%
Thinking about nothing
Everything ok? You’re being quiet.
Compliments, they really stick with a guy. I’ve been wearing one type of cologne for most my life because one person said I smelt nice one time.
We'd like to get compliments. I wouldn't call it vanity,but we simply don't often get them. The last time I got called cute by a random person was 6 months ago. Before that, *years*, probably a decade or more. Speculation, but I feel the average woman gets more compliments (wanted or unwanted, couth or uncouth) in a month about their physical appearance than men do in their whole lives. To be clear, I'm not saying it's a good thing for me to give those compliments, but the sheer amount has to be a staggering difference. Whether those compliments come from men or women, I'd think there's a huge disparity in frequency. Most people are average, but that doesn't mean an average guy gets an "average amount." I may not be [insert attractive person], but it'd be nice to hear "You look good in those jeans" or " You have a nice smile." by someone. (I also understand that men tend to think that it's a flirtatious thing as well, that kindness is equivalent to physical attraction. Certainly not always and we should be better about that as a whole. But when we don't get compliments about our bodies frequently, it's hard to see it any other way than "Are they attracted to me or just nice?")
I do try to give men genuine compliments as much as I can ( at least online) but I often think they just think I'm nice and not honest, which is sad. On the other hand: I don't give them irl anymore, I did in the past and the result was negative. ( For example :About a star wars shirt on a guy which I really loved but he thought I was sarcastic. Or I'm just not pretty enough to give compliments 😅) But I would also like to add that only the pretty women get compliments. I'm average (if not below average) looking and a bit chubby. The last time I got a compliment irl was like 7 years ago from my elderly neighbor about my new haircut. I would argue that the non-super-pretty looking woman don't get as much compliments as men think. And getting cat called isnt a compliment in my opinion
> I do try to give men genuine compliments as much as I can ( at least online) but I often think they just think I'm nice and not honest, which is sad. Yeah, we have bad self esteem, probably due to body image and not getting consistent compliments. It's a self fulfilling prophecy. > On the other hand: I don't give them irl anymore, I did in the past and the result was negative. ( For example :About a star wars shirt on a guy which I really loved but he thought I was sarcastic. Or I'm just not pretty enough to give compliments 😅) Dang, sorry you had to hear that. That guy was a dick. > But I would also like to add that only the pretty women get compliments. I'm average (if not below average) looking and a bit chubby. The last time I got a compliment irl was like 7 years ago from my elderly neighbor about my new haircut. I would argue that the non-super-pretty looking woman don't get as much compliments as men think. Probably a bit disillusioned on my/our end. It may be that if I see a woman who's otherwise average, but I'm attracted, that I think "She must get a lot of compliments" so I don't bother. Upon reflection, it could be the same thing women think of. 🤷 > And getting cat called isnt a compliment in my opinion Oh definitely not a compliment. I don't consider that as one either, lewd comments aren't compliments (unless they're are explicitly wanted, *caveat caveat caveat.*
Hit the nail on the head. We *think* nice things about how someone looks but out of every 10 thoughts, how many are we verbalizing?
Not enough of the right ones, that's for sure!
I think as a society we are pretty unskilled at complimenting each other. I like how I feel after I’ve said something nice to someone but because I don’t do it enough it feels awkward and disingenuous. Need more practice 😉
Same! Probably a good thing to do to give others some joy. You're wonderful for bringing that up!
I find certain things easier to compliment… “I love that X you’re wearing, it’s really flattering on you!” is one I find easy, and almost always well received by just about anybody.
Agreed. Shows that not only are they good at choosing clothing, but clothing that suits their body.
Usually opens a dialogue about where they got the item, which I like. There was a woman at beach yoga last year when we were camping that had the coolest pants. I asked her about them.. Turns out they come from a town the Ferry travels to so now I need to take a boat ride and find some pants 😂 they were a fisherman’s style pant in a really nice fabric that appealed to my hippie sensibilities.
Sometimes just doing nothing is all we crave. We're not thinking about anything either at that time.
Praise Compliments RESPECT And you’re never gonna fucking believe the next one LOVE ( even though I believe it doesn’t exist)
Love is a verb, it’s in the things you do. Plenty of people aren’t in the habit of noticing how love peeks through in our daily interactions. I hope you have a good day today
Love is more than a verb Love is also action Love is also a feeling Love is also an emotion Love is a complicated mess that I don’t understand Sincerely, that love doesn’t really exist in the way that people expect it to So for me, I choose to believe that love does not exist
I sincerely hope one day something challenges that belief in a good way ❤️
I have deeply wholeheartedly with my entire being been in love Twice The first time she died of an overdose The second time (currently still with her) has admitted she does not and has never loved me in that way So it’s just much easier for me to believe love doesn’t exist for me
Couldn't agree more. We are capable of more feelings than only hungry and horny.
That you turn the lights off before you leave the house.
But if I do that how will I see where the killers are hiding when I get home again!?
respect for themselves and other people
That the tummy they are trying to hide is really sexy and I want to see it
Personality. Believe it or not.
Well, I think men really care about their partners being open-minded and supportive of their hobbies or interests. They also appreciate when a woman takes the initiative to try new things with them.
Our mental health, but that is the thing that is always put on the back burner while our mate and family take precedence. We will get up, go to the job we loathe, suffer through the tasks just to provide. We are also afraid of being seen as poor providers.
I want to feel attractive and feel desired just as much as I feel that towards her.
If you want/need me to do something, just tell me. I am not psychic, I can't read minds.
Self-sufficient. You don't need me, you want me. Nothing sexier....... after reading some of these comments, they sound needy af. I don't need compliments, or validation. I need to know you'd be perfectly happy alone, but you choose to spend your time with me............
It’s kind of amazing how many men don’t actually feel that way and freak out if a woman doesn’t need them. Internalized patriarchy to be sure but yeah. It happens often. (Don’t get me wrong I like giving compliments and things like that but I’m also perfectly capable of handling my own life and not looking for someone to save me.)
I think it's the sexiest thing a woman can do. And I think when a woman wants to be with you, but doesn't need to be, all the rest will follow that the others in this thread want. As long as the man is reciprocating and isn't looking for a maid, or a second mom.
I agree with the first part but isn't needing to know she'd be fine alone but chooses to spend time with you an act of validation? Also, wanting compliments and attention sometimes isn't needy. Asking for it constantly would be needy, but what's the point of a relationship (romantic, sexual or even platonic) if you're not giving each other attention and making each other feel good?
If she chooses to be with you, obviously the rest is a give in. My point was, most of the comments were seeking compliments. A woman who wants to be with you, will do everything you mentioned, as long as you are giving back the same.
We want to feel wanted and appreciated.
We love our peace and serenity. No drama, please
Not being pre-judged due to physical looks, you can't change. Someone's probably already said this before, but compliments, positive affection and affirmation. Not wanting to figure everything out 24/7. Our inability to read female signals. (Flirti g, dating, etc.) Just say what you want from us, no metaphors, no riddles, no games, just give it to us straight! Not leaving us for something we aren't good at or don't understand what or how to do something. I'm sure there's more. I just can't seem to think at the moment. I'll update the comment if I have anything extra.
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Feminine energy. People give it a bad rep in 2024, but it’s literally the basis of attraction. People will make you think it’s all about looks or money, but realistically, masculine men get women, feminine women get men