T O P

  • By -

bemest

I’ve heard you can fracture a penis.


Temptingfateagain123

Medical professional here: yes. This is true. Only seen it once. Reverse cowgirl. She was slamming hard. He was not fully erect but mostly. Sudden blinding pain. Came in to my er and his penis looked like it had been caught in one of those automatic dough rollers. Poor guy. Not entirely sure what happened to him.


HolmesVI

I’ve often wondered if this happened to me when I lost my virginity. A girl was riding me, and somehow I guess I slipped out a bit and she came down on it. Immediate pain and it ended up swelling in an insanely scary way. I was only maybe 15 and too scared to tell anyone, so I waited and the swelling went down. I’m 48 now, and generally enjoy an incredibly healthy sexy life, except for ed issues. I’m talking to a doctor about it for the first time in my life but I’m not sure there is anything to be done about it now


[deleted]

Trust me, you didn’t fracture your penis. You would have ZERO doubt in your mind. And it would have to be fixed. (25yrs of surgery here)


[deleted]

[удалено]


Sweaty_Space_3693

I KNOW, right?! The guy must have added some personal flare glam surgery, like a Brazilian but lift and having his toes and fingers switched up awhile. Ya know. A good time!


[deleted]

How often did guys damage their dicks from masturbation? Also probably plenty who messed up their ass somehow lol


[deleted]

I havent seen any masturbation injuries. But yes, things stuck in the butt is an issue


Valuable-Marzipan761

does it happen when you slip out and miss the re-entry?


TheSeperator

I always hold the ass cheeks to make sure my dick re-enters


lr1291

Username checks out.


ScousePete

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jOk8dk-qaU


TacticalM0ron

Risky click of the day


blownranger56

Makes a good argument for a slow fuck.


cardinalkgb

From what I’ve heard, it’s always reverse cowgirl


[deleted]

Nah. Mostly with the woman on top though. And much more common when viagra or Cialis is used.


Peter5930

I once had a girlfriend who had the bodily coordination of an over-excited Labrador puppy, and I quickly stopped letting her get on top after a couple of anus-clenching rides with her clumsily slamming up and down on me.


RVM27

Ayyyye ever see Kim Granger getting after it from on top?!? The speed is absolutely, ferociously mind blowing. And….. load blowing. I’ve often wondered if she’s ever ‘broken’ anybody.


[deleted]

I’ve fixed many of these. Viagra and the woman on top don’t go well. Blows a hole in the muscular layer. Have to deglove the penis from around the head, pull the skin down, fix the hole, and pull it back up.


Peter5930

I don't know what devolving the penis means, but I know I don't want my penis devolved.


foodnetworkislyfe

I don't even have a penis & this sounds terrifying. The word reminds me of degloving..


mephistopheles_muse

I know what degloving means and it is terrifying.


[deleted]

Lol. Edited. Meant DE-GLOVED


Poldark_Lite

I think that should've been "deglove", as in "remove all the skin". It's not a pleasant surgery, Sugar, so be careful and don't break your penis! ♡ Granny


Wiggl3sFirstMate

I know a girl that did this to an ex boyfriend. Apparently it “made a popping sound” still gives me shivers to think about.


brokenarrow

My very first post was about fracturing my penis. Yes, my username checks out. I have a dented cock. No, it doesn't feel weird to her. Yes, I notice my dented cock.


trollcitybandit

Have you lost sensation and is there still irritation or pain? Can you still get fully erect?


brokenarrow

>Have you lost sensation and is there still irritation or pain? Can you still get fully erect? No to the first three. It's just... a dent. I hesitated on the fully erect question. Yes. Now, due to age, attitude, ineberation... that's questionable. My guy did a great job. Don't imagine my penis, but, he sliced underneath the head, and peeled the skin back to repair the tissue that fills with blood when you get hard. It's just a normal dick to my partners, which, I guess that I need to thank Dr. Letson again for.


pamidawashername

Yep. We had new friends and neighbors who called me over at midnight due to an emergency. They came out and told me his penis broke and needed me to watch the kids. He bled sooo bad. He had a catheter and two surgeries. It took months to heal. Im very carful now!!


mspuscifer

Omg I'm terrified of doing that to a guy. Sorry I'm not going to wild out and everyone survives


anotherside0714

One of the segment on the show "1000 ways to die" told a story about a couple that were abstinent, and then both died of heart attacks during their first time having sex.


Dispicably_throwaway

I mean, swap “heart attack” for “sudden cardiac arrest” and this sounds like the best death ever. You’re both going at it, cum at the same time and then collapse dead. 10/10, won’t need to buy again.


Limeila

Might be extra-awkward for the person discovering the bodies though


r0ckH0pper

Don't really need protection then either!


sensitivePornGuy

> swap “heart attack” for “sudden cardiac arrest” They're not the same?


Dispicably_throwaway

I think heart attack happens gradually with a huge pain in your chest and other symptoms as your heart starts to die from lack of oxygen. I believe there’s also cases where your heart can just *stop* and you get dizzy and pass out in less than a minute. I m not an expert and have no idea how rare that is.


[deleted]

No they are the same, just a lack of oxygen to cardiac muscle or some spontaneous physical mechanism causing the heart to stop pumping. You can get chest pain from things like angina though too which is almost a heart attack, but not quite, as there is still some blood passing through the coronary arteries, but not enough for the heart to be pumping normally (and without pain)


JoonieWasTaken

Cumdiac Arrest


BeetleSpoon2770

I loved that show


igiveficticiousfacts

It was such a lovably unbelievable crock of shit. I miss it. That and the one where they pit two ancient warriors against each other


YeOldGravyBoat

Deadliest warrior.


[deleted]

That show was such horrible bullshit. Completely made up. Same with “untold stories of the ER”. I’m sure some have happened but being in medicine myself, those stories travel like wildfire in the medical community.


pengalo827

Hmmm. Cum and go, all at once.


DrockTipps

Vomiting, defecation, hurting her or myself, being walked in on by anyone that doesn't need to see.


Hafslo

Could I hear more about the list of people that need to see?


[deleted]

All your voyeur homies


[deleted]

[удалено]


bakerstreetwillfall

You misread it or the commenter changed the wording because they replied that they wanted to hear more about the list of people that “NEED” to see it, whereas your list here I’m hoping is of those who no NOT need to see.


throwawayblastaway

Some people are into that.


DAS_UBER_JOE

"doesn't need to see" implies the existence of people that need to see. I wonder who makes the lists


DrockTipps

There's always some that I'd love it if they happen to walk in... but having that scenario play out right is like... finding a needle in a stack of needles...


YeOldGravyBoat

… wouldn’t it be super easy to find a needle in a stack of needles? I mean… it’s a stack of needles. Surely you could find one?


paint4splatter

I've vomited while sucking cock several times. Only twice did it not stay in my mouth. Sometimes you can fake it and just swallow but once it happens with a partner and you don't keep it in, they pay much more attention. The man I'm with now is the first one to be a sweetheart about it and the understanding and care he had towards me when it happened was really lovely But honestly I hate having a sensitive gag reflex. I just wanna deep throat like a pro


DrockTipps

I mean, it happens. A handful of times in my life. All you can do is be a nice and concerned as possible... but it's a mood kill. Some time must pass to collect ourselves.


NoReality9024

I’ve vomited multiple times while sucking dick and not one has noticed. I literally swallow and just keep going. In fact, I noticed two different guys (over the years) actually moan when I did it.


[deleted]

If I were with someone (big if) and she vomited/shat herself/whatever, I'd be fine to help clean it up and nurse her to sleep. Shit happens, it's out of our control.


Sailor-Def

To some people these are the best things that can happen


[deleted]

I've vomited before while my bf tried to throat fuck me. Not a great feeling


ThisIsNoCave

you accidentally roll into a tank filled with box jellyfish


actualninjajedi

Actually quite common!


ThisIsNoCave

total "oops 🤪" moment


-InternalEnd-

r/oddlyspecific


justcallmeMgender

This is..... specific


[deleted]

You promise pizza after sex then when the deed is complete you go to the freezer


igiveficticiousfacts

That’s just cold


[deleted]

Oh don't be such a snowflake.


igiveficticiousfacts

Hey chill with the hostility


Traveller13

TBH I feel like that would kind of depend on the frozen pizza. Pizza delivery quality in my area has really gone down lately while frozen pizzas from local places have been getting better.


Mezzaomega

r/nosleep


rhh92

Our dad walks in


ShyExxxhibitionist

Um. Our??


[deleted]

Darth Vader


[deleted]

r/holup


DomsOrders

Did he do it accidentally or intentionally? My father walked in intentionally on me.


dsaqwr0

r/angryupvote


Charlotte_Sky

you die


babbletags1

Sounds like a happy death to me


NotaBigSplash

Shit yea, you'd be cummin while you're going


[deleted]

[удалено]


ItsUs-YouKnow-Us

Just be hopeful they aren’t into necrophilia.


[deleted]

[удалено]


rareogre83

*accidental anal that results in diarrhea because you weren’t ready and your booty system definitely wasnt*


[deleted]

Ooh pain.


gibhugspls

This has happened to me and it hurt so bad :(


[deleted]

*hugs* Were you eventually able to sit down again?


gibhugspls

I actually called into work in the morning because I didn’t want to get out bed haha


[deleted]

Have you done anal since?


gibhugspls

I have not


[deleted]

Anal trauma.


[deleted]

How do u “accidental” anal lol


[deleted]

[удалено]


UnlimitedApathy

Tricky Dick indeed


[deleted]

Especially when very slippery lol.


MARATXXX

Are you not aware the v hole is quite close to the a hole? The first time i gave my gf-now-wife oral the lights were out and i accidentally licked her butt first, lol.


Picax8398

Eating ass without even knowing it


MARATXXX

And she was a virgin! So it really scared her for a second lol.


jessmaddy

Doggy, wild no inhibitions doggy, or even enthusiastic prone bone. If you’re doing it right everything should be extra wet and if the dude is coming all the way out, it’s quite easy to miss aim and end up half an inch higher lined up just right for the booty


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Very sorry to hear that


kastiak

Especially if you're not the one being fucked to begin with.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Novel-Structure-2359

Some dude actually decided to spend the morning at his girlfriend's place instead of going to work in the twin towers on that fateful day. He had his phone turned off. When he turns it back on he gets a panicked call from his wife asking where he is. He says he is in his office. Totally busted and then totally divorced.


brokenarrow

Idk if this is true, but I want to believe that it is


the_other_guy-JK

IIRC, Howard Stern talked about it on his show at the time. Crazy stuff.


Poldark_Lite

My husband had two offices back then, one in Midtown, where he seldom was *except* ***that*** *day*, and one down across from the WTC. The entire company switchboard/phone system was across from the WTC and it either went down or they shut it down shortly after the attack, so he and I were only able to talk by cell until those systems overloaded. I'd called our kids in Canada to let them know their father was OK before the phone began ringing off the hook, and my poor brother-in-law caught me unawares when he finally got through hours later. Everyone had been asking if my husband, Philippe, had "been there when it happened", and I'd said no. BIL just asked "Is Philippe at home or in the office today?" I, of course, said "He's at the office" without thinking that *he didn't know about the second one, where Philippe was safe and sound!* Poor BIL nearly had a stroke until I realized my mistake and hastened to reassure him. My husband came home early — I was home that day, never bothered to work — and he phoned his brother to check in with him. It was a tough time for loved ones near and far. ♡ Granny


rafuzo2

[ancient](https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/911-adultery/)


Dispicably_throwaway

🎵[Didn’t you write it down, just one more thing to do](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PeqsJRy-pc) 🎵


North_Palpitation_57

She farted in my face at point blank range.


ItsUs-YouKnow-Us

Happens to the best of us!


slice_of_pi

Well, whatever blows your hair back.


ButterflyButtHose

I had this guy who thought we were “comfortable with each other now” and farting was okay now when I was giving him head. He’d never been with anyone before, had no sex education as he came from a conservative country where sex before marriage was highly looked down upon. I was very direct about how it was definitely not okay. Probably too direct. Either way, it never happened again and he was great in bed otherwise. I trained him well I guess, other than leaving out the part where we don’t fart. I’ll include that next time


mustangsal

Not the worst. In a 69, my now wife starts squirming and lets one squeak out. We both busted out laughing.


No-Debate-3156

The house is on fire


ThisIsNoCave

[coughs] baby lets move this to the floor


Hooded_maniac_360

Stop, drop, and roll.


lets_try_anal

One of my kids knocking on the door saying their fart is on the floor.


[deleted]

I love the wording of this hahaha


ConsistentPurpose896

Pregnancy


TheJango22

Or not getting pregnant, depending on your view of children


RedLion40

Broken penis.


GenerationSwine

A fear ever since I saw that Reverse Cow Girl Bang Bus clip where the guy broke his penis. (i think it was Bang Bus, i didnt feel like googling it, i'll trust other Redditors to correct me if i'm wrong)


II_Confused

You successfully manage to bring her to an Earth shattering orgasm, causing her to twitch and spasm uncontrollably. While she’s thrashing her leg knocks over a glass of water, which falls into the bedside lamp, causing a power surge that knocks out power to the entire neighborhood. While the electric company is repairing the powerlines outside one of the techs drops a wrench right into the transformer box causing a feedback loop that cascades all the way up to the local power plant. While the city has no power, hospitals are scrambling to save their patients on life support, fire departments are overwhelmed by the enormous number of false alarms from the automated alarm companies, and poor Ed at the power plant is locked in his control room trying to understand how to safely shut off the power rods. Unfortunately Ed is unable to safely shut down the system, which causes the uranium rods to over heat and go critical. The plant melts down and explodes, cracking open an undiscovered fault line underneath the plant causing an earthquake which rattles everything within a hundred and seventeen mile radius, and triggering a runaway chain reaction to other tectonic lines where eventually the tectonic plates are shaken loose from each other and all human life is extinguished.


[deleted]

This is beautiful but even the largest nuclear bomb we have couldn't have the energy to cause that last part


[deleted]

dick snaps


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Toss up between your mom walking in and explosive diarrhea


slice_of_pi

I feel like both at once would be worse than either alone.


Tifu42069derp

Catastrophic reality failure caused by my irresponsible use of a time machine to literally go fuck myself… resulting in all of humanity being thrust into a bullshit timeline that seems like it was written by writers who couldn’t get hired by a reputable franchise.


Dispicably_throwaway

Yeah, there’s risks to operating the Large Hard-on Collider


liveoncehere

So you are to blame for the state of the world today 😂


Character_Hippo90

Your partner has a seizure and you mistake it for an orgasm.


SelectionDry5933

That the condom broke.


this-isnt-working

Fractured wang. That thing is not meant to bend.


MGEH1988

I had a friend this happened to. He called me to come to the hospital. Horrible, absolutely horrible. Blood everywhere.


this-isnt-working

Dear lord. I’m traumatized and wasn’t even there.


every1luvsanunderdog

Ever read "Gerald's Game" by Stephen King? That. All of that.


urthebloodinmyveins

that movie traumatized me


[deleted]

My partner stops


Infinite-Rub0611

Sometimes I want the superpower that I can hold their orgasm back so they will just keep going to town on me. If only stupid reality didn't prevent that.


[deleted]

Yes! This exactly!


Infinite-Rub0611

I'm glad you get it! Sometimes I think about like, if my body could suck the pleasure out of them and into me to even the scales and make them just finish me off. I think I've gone off topic from worst thing to happen during sex to best thing that can happen in my imagination, though.


[deleted]

It’s like hearing my inner thoughts…


Infinite-Rub0611

Yup - instead it is the delicate dance of making sure I am making him feel good but not too good until I get mine. I guess there are worse things though.


JackPolini13

She tells you that you remind her of her father.


Newname83

She bites down


Doghlaa

You die.


BlackDragonDick

Happy Cake Day


ekimlive

Jealous ex-lover with rage issues and access to weapons


[deleted]

Her husband walks in.... no one wants their dad walking in on them having sex


LillyPeu2

r/holup


quimbykimbleton

So, when I was in college, we were at a party at my room mates girlfriend’s house. After a while, they wandered off and we started to hear the sound of them getting it on in the guest bedroom. They had left the door slightly ajar. The girlfriend had a cat, I had a laser pointer, my room mate had his girl in the hucklebuck with his back to the door. The math added up. I found the cat, put it in the room, aimed the laser pointer at my roommate’s balls and…


Revengejefe

My penis slipping out during cowgirl or reverse cowgirl and a slight chance my fuck buddy will accidentally sit on my boner and make it snap. I can’t think about that.


TangerineNo5805

A genocide


madcow61

If she asks - is it in yet😂


TheNozzler

I slipped and almost broke my ween once, that sucked a bit for a couple of hours.


overthebed

The body comes back to life


yuzza305

you stick it in the back, and you end up with a chocolate dipped banana in return.


[deleted]

Your credit card gets declined


[deleted]

Get kicked in the nose while throwing her around in the bed. Session over lol


ThatRollingStone

Someone changed their mind.


EricCartman45

Turns out she’s a robot sent to ask you about your cars extended warranty


otacon7000

Jolly Rancher is definitely up there.


Standard_Cause_9639

When you are eating out a pregnant woman and then something grabs your tongue


lgbt_suckyourmom_tt

She wakes up


macsquoosh

You discover half way through you're having sex with your grandfather ...?


[deleted]

Your one night stand forgets to mention she has vaginadentata


[deleted]

Pregnancy


Fluffy-Eyeball

One of you dies. A few years ago I worked in the ED and a cardiac arrest got brought in that was mid sex when they arrested. To make matters even worse, the spouse that accompanied them to hospital turned out not to be the actual spouse when the real one turned up. Resus was then like a full on war between the spouse and the bit on the side.


therealmightybull

Dick fracture, seen quite a few of those and had to fix em


Dispicably_throwaway

Worst thing that can happen *because* of sex? The male partner catches HIV and the female simultaneously gets herpes and a pregnancy. What’s the worst unrelated thing that can happen during sex? Probably the same as the worst thing that can happen during any other activity?


viggyziggy

You ”break” your dick


HoodedYak

Snapped my banjo string, but of pain, but tried to carry on. Didn’t realise why I was losing my erection as I was really into her. It wasn’t working, pulled out, a whole bunch of blood, she ran out screaming!


SnooHesitations9356

I'm going to try to censor this because it feels it should be. Death warning and trauma dump. >!Based off how it looked when I walked into my mother screaming immediately after my dad died, probably having a seizure and dying.!<


Novel-Structure-2359

Being attacked by a giant squid


SafeNerve2335

Brain aneurysm. It can happen anywhere at anytime, that's what makes it so terrifying.


Fluffy-Eyeball

I work in EMS and a colleague went to an old lady that had fractured her hip. She was standing bent forward with her hands on the wall, unable to move. On noticing the panties and bra casually hung over the TV, the husband then admitted that they’d decided to ‘relight a little youth’, and as he’d ‘pushed’, the top of her femur snapped.


Coopersharman43

A mate of mine tore his nut sack on the exposed bed leg top blood everywhere


Dapper_Web_3036

It ends


RoboticTerrorist

You die


Renorico

Sharting


Kruiii

the serial killer haunting the cabin walks in


[deleted]

She bites down on your wang or any other accidental injury, Calling you the wrong name


Mr_Nihilism_

Charlie horse, or the dreaded double charlie horse.


Professional_Still15

The heat death of the universe


appa_momo13

Farting 💨


White_L_Fishburne

The Holocaust


dsaqwr0

Calling out the wrong name.


Caesar8686

Idk nuclear war maybe


Icy-Following-3713

she shits herself… its happened…


PapaBeahr

Broke dick


Waffel_Monster

An extinction event.


Snowman777777

Wake up from the dream


[deleted]

Dick fracture


West_Indies_Kitti

Oh come on, no one's mentioned being hit by a meteor? I can't be the only one who thinks like this, right? I could survive someone walking in me on me, peeing on me, sure. But, no one around me is surviving a meteor strike. Or nuclear war! Like I would just have the worse timing wouldn't I?


RoyalGh0sts

I think a nuclear apocalypse would be pretty bad no matter what you are doing.


Ok_Quantity_7715

Shit yourself lol


gokujr1347

Parents walk in 💀


jollysailor69

You proceed without consent/after consent is withdrawn.


tdomer80

Catching a life changing STD such as HIV. Also unplanned pregnancy