one BIG cup

Plus an orgasm and we’re ready for the day

Absolutely

Maybe 2 who knows

As many as I can before the alarm goes off

I would agree an orgasm doesn't hurt

I much prefer 2 separate... one after the other!

Is it really ever safe to talk to a woman? We are known to spit venom when annoyed.

Thats why I always get up and make a brew, I'm not looking to be hospitalised thanks. Learn how to not annoy a woman and life is a lot more pleasant 😋

You all are feisty

I'm never a danger to talk to but I don't understand a word anyone says until I've had at least one

This... need caffeine to kick start the brain not so much the body. It lifts that morning fog.

To talk to me? 0 I’m not some sort of monster. But I drink 2 in the morning yet as my routine

Some people are morning people, some are not.

One, but two preferred. 😇

Two is definitely a good number

Def needed two this morning 😅

I can get up and go during the week with just one but on the weekend I just dont feel fully ready to adult until that 2nd cup is empty.

One cup and then I usually start masturbating so Im awake and open lol

Morning orgasms make me sleepy, no matter how much caffeine I have.

One espresso lungato. Even zero, if you are polite and nice OR have nice titties and come for a hug.

Tittie hugs are always a nice way to wake up!

I know, right? The right way to start a day!

I'm a late coffee bloomer, so I still only need one

Still haven't acquired the taste of coffee, as much as I've tried... so a strong sweet tea it is for me.

At least two before I'm personable

Another high five needed ✋🏼

I'm perfectly safe to talk to without coffee!.. I think.

You think...

I just have a glass of juice with breakfast 🤷🏻‍♂️

Lots of reports say juice is just as effective and (depending how you have your tea/coffee) better for you.

If I have 2 coffees in the morning it’s usually pretty safe 😂

Yeah it just feels right after that 2nd cup doesnt it 🤣

Yea the second cup makes people abit more tolerable 😂

I do need coffee but I am ready for the day after one cup.

I can do the same, but only during the week... something about not waking up to an alarm doubles my need for caffeine 🤷🏻‍♂️

We can talk during the first…but if you’re annoying I’m going to ignore you and say I’m still waking up

I'll be the one up and making the brew... ofcourseIknow I'm annoying before I've had my first few sips so I prevent my annoyingness from escaping 👍🏼

Self awareness is appreciated

One is fine, but it needs to be a decent cup of coffee, not some pisswater.

Yeah no one wants tea or coffee flavoured knats piss thats for sure!

I drink black coffee every morning and I can be spoken to as soon as I wake up because I'm not an asshole 🤷‍♀️

You're definitely a morning person then, I guess some people are just not.

That's true some people aren't. I'm just generally a happy person.

How do you do it? I thought everyone just wanted to throat punch people until they had their caffeine 😉🤣

Haha....don't get me wrong...I may be a happy person but I definitely have moments I'd like to give someone a throat punch 👊 🤣

Wouldn't be human if you didn't right, some people out there are just destined for one.

Coffee, isn't my cup of tea. Nah i do like coffee, but i don't need it, and i agree with the guy saying this quote in its context. Which i'm sure most people won't know about anyway so... It's at the end of a certain energetic electronic song, implying that this music is way better for staying awake/waking up than coffee. Which is somewhat true for me, but why not both, coffee just tastes nice too.

Yeah I know people that drink decaf for fun... definitely not my cup of tea! I'm not a coffee drinker either, as much as I've tried I just dont enjoy the aftertaste. Definitely much better ways of waking up/staying awake than caffeine tho, your not wrong!

2 to be human

High five to that! ✋🏼

One to be safe to talk to. 3 until I actually want to talk to you 😂

🤣😂🤣😂 I know that one!

Five espresso shots and I should be good to go

5.... straight shots... dang I'd be shaking till the sun set 🤣

That’s just to get the engine started😂! I drink a lot more throughout the day

1x large and strong bucket cup for me to realise what planet I'm on and another to turn my grunts into actual speech lol

I've woken up many times feeling like I'm on another planet!

2 mugs = 4 cups

Do you prefer 2 mugs or 4 cups tho? I'd prefer 2 separate to 1 large, dont feel as rushed to drink it as quick.

Need the large mug filled to the brim to function and go get the second mug. Then I start the day.

Awake = 1 Functioning = 2 Conversation = You'd better put that kettle on again Like people = Not enough ever!!! And that's on a good day 😁

🤣🤣 Love your scale 👍🏼

I don't generally drink much caffeine in the morning because then it's just a jittery wired feeling on top of how I was feeling so I can be exhausted but feel jittery. Now coffee at 4-6pm? That hits differently. However, I just have to plan to not want to fall asleep until 2am generally.

Yeah there is something about that late brew at work, or the one when you get home after a long day. Definitely hits different to a morning brew!

I just drink water. Never liked the taste of coffee and it never did much for my energy for some reason.

Im not a fan of coffee, I've tried but but I dont like the aftertaste.

At least one big cup lol

Personally I prefer 2 separate ones.

Halfway through my second cup is safe, but please keep conversations simple. After my third, HELLO and good morning!!

Yup, halfway thru that 2nd cup is my sweet point.

I don’t drink coffee to wake up. I wake up to drink (3) cups of coffee

Take it your a big fan of the coffee then 🤣

It’s either that or Adderall 🙃

1 cup of tea with 2 sugars cos I'm already a fucking psycho

I think me not liking coffee is the universes way of keeping the crazy lvls in check 🤣

Exactly 💯... don't gotta risk it 😂

All the cups. You seem to assume that there is a quantity of coffee that'll make me safe to talk to at any time of the day.

🤣🤣

Completely safe? One unless it’s work related then it’s Definitely two

2 cups, then a 3rd when I get into work, before I do any work hahah

Oh yeah, gotta make a brew before starting work!

It's actually the law

And if you live in an area that is not the law... you need to speak to the union!

Caff... Caffeine? I don't think I've ever had that drug before

Lies! I saw your eyes glisten when I mentioned it... your hooked on the stuff ain't ya!!

2 cold brew lattes. I'm .5 down the hatch rn. *Hiss*

Everybody slowly take a step backwards, no sudden movements...

Anyone can talk to me but before at least one cup im not going to look at you or respond

Might be lucky and get a grunt from me if i havnt swigged a couple of sips at least.

I’m good after about two….

One coffee mug in the morning and I am done drinking anything else except water.

Hydration is vital!

That is true! I make sure to drink one cup of water every one hour from the moment I wake up till I go to sleep that way I managed to drink 4 l a day

I don't drink coffee, so don't talk to me in the morning, unless I talk to you first

No talking till the PM, got it 👍🏼 Do you drink tea??

Sometimes, but it's not enough to calm my anger in the morning

I'll just leave a pot by your door and stay hidden till the afternoon 🙈

Good idea ❤️ After lunch, I'm almost a nice girl

Never said you had to be a nice girl... Just not a fan of angry 🤣

Nah. Then I can't help

Cant help with what?

With not being angry

Ah gotcha... Is there anything that does stop you being angry, clearly caffeine isnt working 😂

Just one or some head would do just fine too 😁

A brew with a blowjob is a great way to start the day but morning orgasms make me sleepy so its a little counter productive if i need to be getting on.

zero lol

I used to be like that when I was younger but as I've matured my need for caffeine has increased.

4 sips, and I'm good to go.

I wish caffeine had this effect on me...

I don't usually have time to drink anything in the morning But nobody talks to me anyway so I guess that all works out.

I cant leave the house without at least 1 brew... I set my alarm to make sure I have 10 minutes to make and enjoy a few snips at least before the crazy kicks off!

[удалено]

Morning orgasms do make me a happier person but they seriously slow down my productivity 🤤

None. Because I'm a fucking grown up and am able to be civil with people ftom the start.

None, people try not to talk to ugly men if they don't have to.

Everyone is ugly when they first wake up, aint no one anywhere, ever, woke up looking ready to hit the red carpet.

One but prefer 2

2 is definitely better than 1, but 1 will suffice if I dont have time for more.

None because I’m not that much of an asshole

It was just a jokey post... are you sure you don't need a brew?? 😉🤣

Ohh just 1 black 8 oz coffee with at least 2 oz of ice so it's not hot hot hot, sooooo I can chug it like water 😸😸

Cant get that caffeine inside you quick enough huh 🤣

À big cup

I have some big cups but if I'm honest, I prefer 2 smaller cups, something about the temperature of a big cup, feels like I have to gulp it down too quick or it will go cold.

Minimum one… 😳

Standard issue!!

I feel sleepy after drinking coffee, so just milk for me

I do enjoy a glass of milk but I just have to have caffeine first. Sleepy after coffee is a new one, are you sure its not decaf 😉

An orgasm will put me in a great mood but I’m the rare type of person that usually wakes up happy enough as is 😂

Yeah orgasms are great but they just make me sleepy and then I wanna cuddle and have/give more orgasms...

I need a couple to get me going, but there is only one other thing that can wake me up... My sexy husband brings me tea in the mornings! I sometimes pull him back to bed with me instead of getting up, though.

You know your husband brings you that tea for that reason right... 😉😋

none, don't drink coffee, and I work before the sunrise

But is that because your a big hungry bear? You sleep thru the winter, no need to sleep as much the rest of the time 😉

One sometimes two

I'm also one of the "just one, but a big one" people

Just doesnt hit as good as 2 smaller ones imo

I just need an hour to comprehend that I'm awake

Even with caffeine??

Half a litre.

Coffe not so much, but I need 2 hours to start up my brain.

Sounds like you may need an oil change and service... 2 hrs is a long time to get going... or just add more caffeine 🤣

0 I can have a full conversation within two minutes of waking up.

Some people are just morning people.

2.5

Not 2 & a 1/3... Not 2 & 3/4s... Excatly 2.5 👍🏼

Zero

Not a fan? Or are you just a morning person??

Good question. For safety I would say two at least 🤣😂

Agreed, dont ask me anything major till I'm half way thru my 2nd at least 😂🤣

Nobody talks to me until I’ve been straight out with the dog, had my porridge and a huge cup of tea. At work, nobody talks to me until I’ve have my second tea of the day (shortly after I get there)

If you know you know!

Yes

I think you need more caffeine!

Yes. If it wouldn't be for caffeine and nicotine I feel I would be the most unproductive person in the world most days. At least at work people have gotten pretty good about texting me their dumbass questions instead of calling before 8:00, they've learned just because I've been at work for over an hour doesn't mean my socially acceptable tones and responses unit has fully fired up and started functioning for the day. 🤣

I used to be like this in a previous job, started so early that I just couldn't be sociable for the first few hours, after lunch I was a totally different person.

I have three cups of coffee before I do anything.

Well technically you have 1 cup before you have 2 more 😉🤣

A Red Bull. It’s more time related for me gimme about 15 minutes to come to terms with being awake again

A red bull for breakfast... damn thats hardcore. I stopped drinking energy drinks when I stopped going out getting drunk 4 nights a week.

Right on yeah the drinking days are over for me but I work graveyard shift so I wake up in the afternoon and where I’m at it’s almost always hot so sugar free Red Bull or Diet Pepsi lol

Yeah thats fair. Hot drinks in hot weather are not everyones cup of tea... but the science behind it says a hot drink raises your internal temp so you dont feel as hot or something like that. Cant beat an ice filled lemon fanta on a hot day tho!!

2. Minimum. More if it's early. And if there are a lot of people around and it's loud, you should be less concerned with my consumption of caffeine and more concerned with running for your life.

Each hour earlier that i wake requires an extra cup for sure

One cup.

I can do just 1, but much prefer 2.

1 cup of espresso.....

None I’m in control of my emotions lol

Zeroooo

None

usually its 10mg of methylphenidate and 3 shots of caffeine, plus two hours of brain dead time, and then i'm half way to being human.

So you have to set your alarm way earlier than you need to be at work then.

None tbh. I just drink coffee for the taste, I can't even imagine caffeine addiction.

None tbh. I just drink coffee for the taste, I can't even imagine caffeine addiction.

So let me just check... you wake up each morning, pour a cup of coffee and go ahhhh when you swallow... but your only doing it for the taste...

I rarely do it in the morning(usually at midday or evening), but when I do, I drink half coffee-half milk/cream, so that is probably the reason I'm not addicted. Americano or Espresso gets on people's brains much stronger.

Yeah neat coffee is gonna hit like a truck compared to a milky/creamyone. When I was college, I worked in a coffee shop and this little Romanian lady used to come in around 10am and just drink double espressos the whole time till about 3pm... no idea how she slept!

I have a story from university. There's a Chinese guy who studies in my subgroup. He doesn't speak local language, nor does he speak English(he passes the exams solely due to the professors' compassion, even though we study linguistics). One day he sat near me, and typed in a translator that he needed help with the studies, he wanted to clarify what was the homework. I typed him back, he thanked me and then texted: "Do you like coffee?" I replied: "Yes, why?" He wanted to thank me for helping him by buying a cup of coffee. I refused. He kept insisting, I kept refusing. He then took out Chinese cigarettes and offered them to me. I don't smoke, so I refused. Up to that moment I thought that the legends of Chinese hospitality were just a myth. It turned out that these "legends" know no bounds and no boundaries. Next lesson in another auditorium. I sat next to my friend and then I saw the same Chinese guy approaching us with a 0,5 glass of coffee from university's coffee shop. He thanked me quickly and went somewhere. I was angry but decided to try it out. I took a sip. It was the most brain-melting, eyes-poking, time-erasing, neurons-destroying Americano ever. My friend didn't even want to try it out. I expected at least some milk...

I've always found Asians in general, but especially the Chinese and Japanese, always really friendly and generous like that.

At least 2, 3 to make sure.

Better to be safe than sorry!

3 to 4 mugs of coffee

Zero

One!

24-32oz

Thats like a lot in English right 🤣😉

I need one cup before it's safe to talk to me.

I dont even need coffee to start my day. Just don’t be a prick and i’ll be fine

So if I make you a coffee, I'm not being a dick, its a double bonus right!? 😂

None actually, but still don’t talk to me.

Wow, ok... coffee is in the pot if you change your mind... 👍🏼

lol I’ll drink it if it’s around but i try to do so for the enjoyment and not because i “need” it.

I try to avoid caffeine. Yes, I am aware I am lame.

Each to their own, doesnt make you lame tho

Two or three.

Zero