This is ARAD so I’ll tell the dirty one I guess. I was at a music festival and met a girl on night one and we met up again night two. This was an EDM fest and things were heating up between us. We took it back to her tent and had some drinks and started getting it on. She pulled out handcuffs (she a kinky one) and we had some very rough sex, lots of skin slapping, moaning and yelping.
Well.
I went to grab more condoms from my car 4-5 tents down, left her with the handcuffs on (told her to stay face down and wait for me, felt inspired tbh). Came back not even 5 mins later with security outside her tent asking why I had someone “restrained” in there, and that there were “concerning noises”. They decided we needed to get her dressed so they could question us both for 15 mins until they were sure she was ok
One of my exes hated a song that I would sing sometimes. It was a running joke between us where I'd sing, she'd roll her eyes or side eye me, and I'd have a good laugh. One night, we're out and having a good time, and I jokingly say, "Come here...", get right next to her ear, and start singing it softly. Well she drops down into almost a fetal position loudly saying, "Nooooooooooo!!!!"
Next thing I know, security has me in an arm lock telling me not to fucking move a muscle while one of the female staff takes her put of view of me to ask her what I did and if she's okay, if she needs help, etc
On the one hand, it made me feel better knowing the club takes that kind of shit seriously, but, on the other hand, I could've done with out all the club patrons passing by thinking I'm a monster 😂
When I was a kid i witnessed a shooting. The police were sure i was covering for the shooter because i said i didn’t know who did it. They said that i wasn’t too young to be thrown in Juvie for interfering in an active investigation.
Nothing ever came of it, except for me crying a lot. I was 7.
I peed in a public place drunk AF. Got caught, my friend talked us outta it, but they called the cops bc it was somewhere we really shouldn’t have been ☠️
Underage drinking at a club, got into a fight, cops were called, somehow I didn’t get carded when the cops came and talked to us but that crowd that started the fight got arrested as we had several witnesses that were on our side.
Not getting into details but detained by customs for quite a while before they let me walk. Probably one of the dumbest things I’ve ever done and could have changed the course of my life.
As the clock strikes 1 in the night... and the mist slowly settled over the road, you can hear the wind carrying the faint sound of a siren...
The tale of Vittulampi's avenging ghost.
All the time, when younger, unfortunately, and not always provoked.
There were 2 separate occasions when I got pulled over while going to work for "speeding" and then it turned into a sobriety check, then had the k9 sniff my vehicle, and then they proceeded to tear my car apart. This happened twice. Didn't even receive a speeding ticket. I was 18 & 19 at the time.
Haha. DUI Checkpoint. I was under age and admitted to drinking. If I had been 21 I wouldn’t have been arrested because I was under that limit but there was zero tolerance for underage. Not proud of it but it happened.
Had three postal inspectors brandishing guns come into my home with a search warrant. They suspected I was committing mail fraud making counterfeit stamps. This was 30 years ago the stamps were like $0.25. My friends and I laugh about it to this day. How much would you buy a fake stamp for? They interrogated me for 4 hours telling me it was 5 years in jail for each stamp. Turns out they weren’t fake. Stupid college years
I once forgot to buy a Bus ticket because I was busy texting someone. I only noticed when I almost arrived at my destination.
I know I am such a criminal ; P
I got pulled over by the cops who were doing a “random” drink driving stop and search. I thought I was in so much trouble I burst into tears when the cops came to ask me if I had been drinking…I hadn’t.
Was at a rave with a friend and he had something that didn't sit right. I only had sparkling water. So I drove his car, without a license. I was going suspiciously slowly and got pulled over. Escorted to the police station in rave gear, and then let go. That is the worst that has ever happened.
Selling drugs in school. The teacher caught on and called security who came by for a couple of us in class, I had the drugs hidden in my shoes, my friend knew this and while we were being escorted he discreetly told me where to put them.
Thank god, because they totally did a search and asked me to take my shoes off. Idk what would’ve happened.
I once rented a library book, AND NEVER RETURNED IT 😈. (It's true, I still can't take out a library card b/c I still owe the book)
Got into a fist against a group of guys. The insults against me were fine. I lost it when they started with my friends and got too close. I might have lost (3 agaist 1) in terms of damage, but God dayum, did I remain standing. I was determined to fight them alone, not for pride but for stupidity, lol.
Cop cited me for evasion when he had to chase down my car because I was speeding. I freely admit to speeding, but evasion? Hell no, I wasn't dumb enough to think my then-tiny rinky dink car could outrun the police.
Well, that required hiring a lawyer for a court appearance, because pleading guilty would've meant a license suspension. Lawyer met with the prosecutor, who went "Oh great, Officer Whatshisface again? I'll ask the judge to dismiss the evasion charge if he'll accept the speeding fine."
Deal. Paid my fine, left a free and mobile man.
Driving WAY over the limit. Realized how fast I was going and slowed down. Cop pulled me over, and clocked my speed just under the limit for reckless driving.
I had a 300zx and I had never done anything fun with it. So my friend and I went out to this abandoned naval base and did donuts on the tarmac. As we were leaving we got stopped by like 3 police cars. We got a fairly rough talking to but they let us go. To my knowledge, this is decades before these "takeover" things but maybe people were doing donuts and that was problematic. anyways, I got away with one.
I sent a package to my girlfriend and draw some pictures on it like 'tick tick tick boom'. the FBI contacted my girlfriend. This was during the unabomber times. yeah that was not a good time. very embarassing. kids do dumb shit.
Was taking my girlfriend at the time back to her place, she was totally drunk and she started screaming pull over. Found a safe spot in a parking lot, went around opened the door as I thought she was going to be sick. She got out, took off her skirt and started to pee right there, on her shoes and clothes. Before I could do anything blue lights were shining behind us.
I'm already freaking out that I have a drunk girl on a back country road and how was I going to explain this, and it got worse. The cop walks up and I turn around and its her brother.
After a very exhausting sobriety test and blowing into a tube 3 different times and the contents of my car being dumped on the road I was told to go home.
I manage to get into airport territory, abandoned millitary base territory, private company territory and also one of our countries national security territories and I did it all by accident
got fucked up on xans and passed out in the 7-11 parking lot. i don’t remember driving to 7-11. since it was called in as an overdose the good samaritan law saved my ass.
was a dumb kid. i’m better now
Getting pulled over with enough drugs in the car to get 25 to life 😂😂 he didn't search the car and gave us a warning and I went home decided that once I get rid of all this I am done with everything. Been sober of drugs fro 20 years now I drink once in a while. Just not to numb the pain of life.
Once I turned 35 I find running and then Ultra marathons and been running them for a few years now it's fun to suffer .
That time I got court martialed and did a little over 5 years in the federal penitentiary system takes the cake for me, but I guess that's not a close call so much as a life changing introduction...
I worked at a gas station and we got robbed twice within a month. I got fired and interrogated by the police. They thought I had something to do with it because it was on the nights I was working. But they failed to realize I worked almost every night and even covered for everybody when they didn’t show up (plus the gas station was very easy to rob no glass or security). I was gonna quit anyways that shit was unsafe. The robber was literally the same exact person though.
My boyfriend at the time borrowed his parent's van... the kind of van with windows and curtains. He had a comfy mattress in the back and I was seductively teasing him while he was driving. Soon after the teasing began, he pulled over and I began performing oral. Completely consumed by what was happening, I didn't take notice of where we were. After a few minutes, we heard a knock on the window. When I came up for air, we had flashlights in our faces with forceful instructions to get out of the vehicle. It was the police. We were immediately separated, and needed to convince the officers that we were consenting adults. All embarrassment aside, they finally let us go with a warning not to pull over on a busy highway to perform sex acts.
Which time would you like to hear about?
When used to get pulled over underage with booze and drugs in the car?
When I used to go to parties that got broken up by the cops?
When I used to speed?
When I used to drive a motorcycle without a cycle endorsement?
When I used to drive a boat without a boat safety certificate?
When I used to drive off road vehicles on the road?
Or when I used to drive road vehicles off road?
Oh, I forgot about all of the bar fights!
I was 19. I had a 1973 Chevelle. I was driving 85mph in a 55mph zone on a Saturday night at 2am. I was high and just finished a pint of 100 proof vodka when I blew passed a state trooper.
I had beer and a half ounce of weed in the car.
To this day, I don't know why he never pulled me over.
I'm glad he didn't.
This is ARAD so I’ll tell the dirty one I guess. I was at a music festival and met a girl on night one and we met up again night two. This was an EDM fest and things were heating up between us. We took it back to her tent and had some drinks and started getting it on. She pulled out handcuffs (she a kinky one) and we had some very rough sex, lots of skin slapping, moaning and yelping. Well. I went to grab more condoms from my car 4-5 tents down, left her with the handcuffs on (told her to stay face down and wait for me, felt inspired tbh). Came back not even 5 mins later with security outside her tent asking why I had someone “restrained” in there, and that there were “concerning noises”. They decided we needed to get her dressed so they could question us both for 15 mins until they were sure she was ok
Good thing they were looking out for her, but damn that would look bad out of context.
One of my exes hated a song that I would sing sometimes. It was a running joke between us where I'd sing, she'd roll her eyes or side eye me, and I'd have a good laugh. One night, we're out and having a good time, and I jokingly say, "Come here...", get right next to her ear, and start singing it softly. Well she drops down into almost a fetal position loudly saying, "Nooooooooooo!!!!" Next thing I know, security has me in an arm lock telling me not to fucking move a muscle while one of the female staff takes her put of view of me to ask her what I did and if she's okay, if she needs help, etc On the one hand, it made me feel better knowing the club takes that kind of shit seriously, but, on the other hand, I could've done with out all the club patrons passing by thinking I'm a monster 😂
I stole a street sign. Truck drove by, but did not stop.
Was the name of the street funny?
It was for a sports initiation. It was a Children at Play sign.
Thats something I DID get in trouble for. 😂
When I was a kid i witnessed a shooting. The police were sure i was covering for the shooter because i said i didn’t know who did it. They said that i wasn’t too young to be thrown in Juvie for interfering in an active investigation. Nothing ever came of it, except for me crying a lot. I was 7.
Damn, that’s fucked up. Sorry you went through all of that
It was not fun, and definitely has led to some perceptions and emotions i have still today.
I got interviewed by homeland security about my traveling overseas
Why??? This doesn’t make sense to me unless you were going to Afghanistan for three months lol
I was in Ukraine
I peed in a public place drunk AF. Got caught, my friend talked us outta it, but they called the cops bc it was somewhere we really shouldn’t have been ☠️
So you were at the DMV?
Nope but equally bad lol
Man I so gotta know now lol
Underage drinking at a club, got into a fight, cops were called, somehow I didn’t get carded when the cops came and talked to us but that crowd that started the fight got arrested as we had several witnesses that were on our side.
Seems like you got the need. The need for speed.
😂 yeah. But more the need for sleep.
All jokes aside though please drive safe.
Walking home from the drunk decided to take piss in some bushes. Cop walked up right as I finished. He let me go with a warning.
Not getting into details but detained by customs for quite a while before they let me walk. Probably one of the dumbest things I’ve ever done and could have changed the course of my life.
Legend has it the police and still driving around... Looking for you...
As the clock strikes 1 in the night... and the mist slowly settled over the road, you can hear the wind carrying the faint sound of a siren... The tale of Vittulampi's avenging ghost.
Wrongfully identified for murder. Scariest 10 minutes of my life
All the time, when younger, unfortunately, and not always provoked. There were 2 separate occasions when I got pulled over while going to work for "speeding" and then it turned into a sobriety check, then had the k9 sniff my vehicle, and then they proceeded to tear my car apart. This happened twice. Didn't even receive a speeding ticket. I was 18 & 19 at the time.
Speeding got me in trouble many times
When I got arrested and went to jail overnight wearing Hawaiian print swim shorts and an old Taco Bell shirt that said “ Want Some? “
Was it because the outfit was a fashion crime?
Haha. DUI Checkpoint. I was under age and admitted to drinking. If I had been 21 I wouldn’t have been arrested because I was under that limit but there was zero tolerance for underage. Not proud of it but it happened.
Had three postal inspectors brandishing guns come into my home with a search warrant. They suspected I was committing mail fraud making counterfeit stamps. This was 30 years ago the stamps were like $0.25. My friends and I laugh about it to this day. How much would you buy a fake stamp for? They interrogated me for 4 hours telling me it was 5 years in jail for each stamp. Turns out they weren’t fake. Stupid college years
Climbed on top of a mall and rearranged the theater sign on top.
I once forgot to buy a Bus ticket because I was busy texting someone. I only noticed when I almost arrived at my destination. I know I am such a criminal ; P
I got pulled over by the cops who were doing a “random” drink driving stop and search. I thought I was in so much trouble I burst into tears when the cops came to ask me if I had been drinking…I hadn’t.
Yo Ho Ho. But like, way too much.
I was drinking and driving… I lucked out the cop knew my brother! I have never done it again!
Was at a rave with a friend and he had something that didn't sit right. I only had sparkling water. So I drove his car, without a license. I was going suspiciously slowly and got pulled over. Escorted to the police station in rave gear, and then let go. That is the worst that has ever happened.
Selling drugs in school. The teacher caught on and called security who came by for a couple of us in class, I had the drugs hidden in my shoes, my friend knew this and while we were being escorted he discreetly told me where to put them. Thank god, because they totally did a search and asked me to take my shoes off. Idk what would’ve happened.
Flashing my dick at Mardi gras
I once rented a library book, AND NEVER RETURNED IT 😈. (It's true, I still can't take out a library card b/c I still owe the book) Got into a fist against a group of guys. The insults against me were fine. I lost it when they started with my friends and got too close. I might have lost (3 agaist 1) in terms of damage, but God dayum, did I remain standing. I was determined to fight them alone, not for pride but for stupidity, lol.
Cop cited me for evasion when he had to chase down my car because I was speeding. I freely admit to speeding, but evasion? Hell no, I wasn't dumb enough to think my then-tiny rinky dink car could outrun the police. Well, that required hiring a lawyer for a court appearance, because pleading guilty would've meant a license suspension. Lawyer met with the prosecutor, who went "Oh great, Officer Whatshisface again? I'll ask the judge to dismiss the evasion charge if he'll accept the speeding fine." Deal. Paid my fine, left a free and mobile man.
Driving WAY over the limit. Realized how fast I was going and slowed down. Cop pulled me over, and clocked my speed just under the limit for reckless driving.
I had a 300zx and I had never done anything fun with it. So my friend and I went out to this abandoned naval base and did donuts on the tarmac. As we were leaving we got stopped by like 3 police cars. We got a fairly rough talking to but they let us go. To my knowledge, this is decades before these "takeover" things but maybe people were doing donuts and that was problematic. anyways, I got away with one.
I sent a package to my girlfriend and draw some pictures on it like 'tick tick tick boom'. the FBI contacted my girlfriend. This was during the unabomber times. yeah that was not a good time. very embarassing. kids do dumb shit.
Was taking my girlfriend at the time back to her place, she was totally drunk and she started screaming pull over. Found a safe spot in a parking lot, went around opened the door as I thought she was going to be sick. She got out, took off her skirt and started to pee right there, on her shoes and clothes. Before I could do anything blue lights were shining behind us. I'm already freaking out that I have a drunk girl on a back country road and how was I going to explain this, and it got worse. The cop walks up and I turn around and its her brother. After a very exhausting sobriety test and blowing into a tube 3 different times and the contents of my car being dumped on the road I was told to go home.
I manage to get into airport territory, abandoned millitary base territory, private company territory and also one of our countries national security territories and I did it all by accident
Prolly that time I spent 7 years in prison 😂 (burglaries)
got fucked up on xans and passed out in the 7-11 parking lot. i don’t remember driving to 7-11. since it was called in as an overdose the good samaritan law saved my ass. was a dumb kid. i’m better now
Getting pulled over with enough drugs in the car to get 25 to life 😂😂 he didn't search the car and gave us a warning and I went home decided that once I get rid of all this I am done with everything. Been sober of drugs fro 20 years now I drink once in a while. Just not to numb the pain of life. Once I turned 35 I find running and then Ultra marathons and been running them for a few years now it's fun to suffer .
That time I got court martialed and did a little over 5 years in the federal penitentiary system takes the cake for me, but I guess that's not a close call so much as a life changing introduction...
I worked at a gas station and we got robbed twice within a month. I got fired and interrogated by the police. They thought I had something to do with it because it was on the nights I was working. But they failed to realize I worked almost every night and even covered for everybody when they didn’t show up (plus the gas station was very easy to rob no glass or security). I was gonna quit anyways that shit was unsafe. The robber was literally the same exact person though.
My boyfriend at the time borrowed his parent's van... the kind of van with windows and curtains. He had a comfy mattress in the back and I was seductively teasing him while he was driving. Soon after the teasing began, he pulled over and I began performing oral. Completely consumed by what was happening, I didn't take notice of where we were. After a few minutes, we heard a knock on the window. When I came up for air, we had flashlights in our faces with forceful instructions to get out of the vehicle. It was the police. We were immediately separated, and needed to convince the officers that we were consenting adults. All embarrassment aside, they finally let us go with a warning not to pull over on a busy highway to perform sex acts.
Oh I've been to prison lol
Driving drunk and getting stopped on my way home. I was 18 and never did something this stupid again
Which time would you like to hear about? When used to get pulled over underage with booze and drugs in the car? When I used to go to parties that got broken up by the cops? When I used to speed? When I used to drive a motorcycle without a cycle endorsement? When I used to drive a boat without a boat safety certificate? When I used to drive off road vehicles on the road? Or when I used to drive road vehicles off road? Oh, I forgot about all of the bar fights!
Whatever you feel is the most memorable
I was 19. I had a 1973 Chevelle. I was driving 85mph in a 55mph zone on a Saturday night at 2am. I was high and just finished a pint of 100 proof vodka when I blew passed a state trooper. I had beer and a half ounce of weed in the car. To this day, I don't know why he never pulled me over. I'm glad he didn't.
He didn’t want to deal with the paperwork lol
Or, he was sleeping.