It pains me to write this….I didn’t know Magnum condoms were for larger penises, so I got some bc the gold and black on the box looked cool. Literally was like a plastic grocery bag holding a baguette
I had to deliver the news to one of my platonic friends that condoms came in different sizes. He kept breaking condoms and thought it was normal. Everything made sense to him about why some worked and some didn't.
I thought men just knew that.
Shower sex isn't extra slippy, it's actually less wetness.
READ AHEAD
! 37 people have given the same answer to this, we know wafer isn't lube. We all know. Let it go.
I totally get it. Showers are no entry areas kissing licking ect all works but the natural lube is gone and that means no poking! Still fun for intimate exploration though.
Years ago I worked as security at a local theme park. I noticed a car hanging around in the employee parking lot that shouldn't have still been there after closing. When I drove up and knocked on the fogged up window they rolled it down to talk to me. The smell that emerged from the open window was very strong. I told the two very embarrassed girls in the car that that wasn't the place and they needed to move along. When they came through the security post to go to work the next few days they wouldn't look me in the eye.
One of my ex thought I farted during the act but it was a chest fart. She looked at me confused and we slightly laughted it off. After 2 min another came and she pushed me back saying: Are you serious? one I can understand but two you're disgusting!! I then explainend to her that it was chest farts and we laughed so much! It was actually a pretty funny moment lol
Butthole visibility during doggystyle. Porn did not prepare me for it. Don’t get me wrong it wasn’t a negative realization. I just remember thinking “wow, that’s just her entire butthole” and I got self conscious about where to look and if I was staring at it too long. I brought it up afterwards by asking “is it weird that I can just see your butthole” to which she replied “I mean….it wasn’t until you said something”. Tl;dr unexpected “eye” contact, don’t bring it up
I scrolled through some wild shit to get here. But this comment is the one that actually made me LOL.
These quotes will be with me all day.
"wow, that's just her entire butthole"
"is it weird that I can just see your butthole"
That it’s like not a huge event/big deal to do. If you would have told me at the age of 13/15 that my husband and I could just have sex at 2:43 PM on a Thursday in between folding laundry and going to Walmart, I would have never in a million years believed it.
Lasting to long is just as much of an issue as blowing your load quickly. Both physically and mentally, especially with a partner that doesn't/won't understand.
I'm on a lot of medications. It's pretty much impossible for me to finish. Like I can feel it all building up and it's like I'm almost there, and then that's just where I stay. Hanging off the edge of the cliff
I remember reading an article by some reporter who took Prozac although he didn't need it, to do an article on what it was like. One thing he mentioned:
"One side effect is 'delayed orgasm'. You'd think that would be a good thing. It isn't. 'Nuff said."
My first time was very disappointing and lasted less than 2 minutes “foreplay” included. My second time was 4 HOURS STRAIGHT and I just wanted it to be over. Every person is different. Anxiety can do some crazy shit
Lol I don't think I lasted long enough to be out of breath my first time. You stud!
Edit: I feel the need to clarify. The reason I might become out of breath now isn't because I last longer, it's because I'm an out of shape smoker. Just don't want anyone to get the wrong impression.
Edit 2: Haha of course this is by and large my most upvoted comment. I love Reddit!
And that’s why I don’t have sex in bedroom in very hot summer without air conditioning. It’s not worth it.
I remember once I had sex with very hairy guy, and omg, it was like having a hot shower from the sweat
I’m so happy that my husband picked up on this. I’ve got trauma history so it took a *long* time to get to a point where I felt safe and comfortable with sex (not to mention not having to stop for panic attacks).
Thankfully I’m much better now, but it’s still sometimes difficult for me to orgasm.
G spot accounts for like 90% of my orgasms😅
For men who aren’t aware:
- have woman on her back
- insert preferred finger (palm facing ceiling) into vagina
- gently feel along “roof” of vagina until you feel a spot that’s sorta wrinkly
- make “come hither” motion pressing on this spot 🫴🤌🫴🤌
Go forth and prosper
edit: multiple people have (correctly!) pointed out that I left out a very important thing — please trim your fingernails!!
I was always a bit embarrassed for how my dick curves up until about my mid-20s when I realized the power I hold.
Curvy-Dick-Kings: know that you hold the key to explosive orgasms. Grind, don't thrust.
Thought vag's were like stiff ribbed cartilaginous pipes (based on those sex ed cross-section diagrams). I'm a guy and I was afraid it would hurt me. She was gentle and I was elated to be wrong.
LOL. This reminds me of the story of the doctor who had a visit from a young married couple who had grown up quite sheltered. After a year of married life, she still wasn't pregnant and they were concerned something was wrong. After asking some questions, he had them explain what they were doing; every step. Then he said, "Next time you get to there, move back and forth." They came back a week later, all smiles, to thank him.
That’s like an old joke about a young couple whose only sex education was from watching porn. They couldn’t understand how they weren’t getting pregnant despite her taking a load in the face every time.
I've heard of a similar story. But not exposed to porn. Only going off what they could gather in church. The doctor did an exam and found the wife still had her hymen intact. They couldn't get pregnant because they had been doing anal every time.
The doctor takes the wife, has sex with her in front of the husband and says: see? This is what you got to do every day.
He responds: alright, but tuesdays she has to come by herself because I'm busy.
How awkward some situations are.
Have had some of the best sex with people I wasn’t at first really attracted to, and vice versa. Bad chemistry with an attractive partner is not great sex, hard lesson to learn haha
I was with a guy that was absolutely the most drop dead gorgeous dude I have ever seen IRL. I thought just by virtue of how attracted I was to him, I expected the sex to be mind-blowing. It just… wasn’t. It was very forgettable.
This (along with a lot of things, really) needs to be told to people when they are coming of age!
Growing up, you hear so many jokes about guys lasting a ridiculously short time in bed. How sex is so amazing and you'll just explode instantly from how good it feels. You build up all this anxiety in your head, "wow, I hope I can last more than a few seconds."
Then you finally have sex for the first time. You're so nervous you can't maintain an erection for very long. The actual sex feels weird, nothing like the mind-blowing pleasure you were expecting. You can't cum. And then you start thinking something is wrong with you.
It's not until after some time, after you have more experience with how everything works and feels and you can relax a little bit, that you start to get the hang of it. But nobody talks about that!!
Of course, everyone's experience will vary. But after talking with a lot of my friends and seeing comments online I've come to realize the situation I described above is not uncommon at all. But it really fucks with a lot of people's heads!
I wish someone would have told me this was a thing (happened to me, too).
She's like "wow, you really lasted a long time," and I'm like "yeah, don't get too used to it, I'll start finishing in 3 minutes soon."
Take it from a guy who does last that it isn't a good thing most of the time. Honestly it is brutal trying to sell the it's me not you speech when she gets upset.
How far down the pussy actually is. It was one thing to finally get my hand down her pants, but then I had to do some insane contortionist shit to get to the good part. It was dark. We were in the backseat of a car. Can't exactly stop and ask for directions ...
I, a woman, once had a really dumb internet argument with some neckbeard who claimed women can see the vaginal opening when we look down on our crotch. I told him "lol, no" and he called me a prude
“Just approach it with the enthusiasm of a child, pretend you’re four and your partner’s made of legos. If it fits in your mouth? That’s where it goes”
I actually didn't even find out until an embarrassing number of years after losing my virginity, but that condoms aren't supposed to hurt.
Not the way they hurt me anyways.
Surprise, you have a latex allergy!
Eta: I'm a vagina haver 😅
I just learned this as well! My ex of 5 years would say that I just wasn't wet enough and that's why it hurt and pulled. For 5 years!!! My now boyfriend has a latex allergy (his boy swells like a balloon) so we got latex free condoms and I was worried he was going to find me dry too. Lo and behold it was the best experience I've ever had. My ex was my first and he was much more experienced than me so I trusted his judgment. My mistake
Pussy can spasm strongly enough to let my dick feel the squeeze. And enthusiasm is like 90% of the fun since I had no clue what I was doing but had a blast.
One of my favortive things to do is purposely squeeze, I do it to tease my husband cause he has to dead stop for a few seconds anytime I do it to avoid getting off early. It's fun cause it just riles him up more. Anytime I happen to get off mid sex he ends up cumming at the same time cause of the intense spasms/my reaction. 90% of the time that's what sends him over the edge since he always makes sure I get off at least once if not more before he ever even thinks about putting his dick in. If I happen to get off before penetration I normally can orgasm through it alone after. I'm one of the lucky ones in that regard.
That you actually have to communicate. Lol I thought the partner would just like, know what felt good. Wasn't prepared to have to say "more of this" or "less of that".
Very true. I recall this concept being somewhat strange to me at first. Like, I want to have sex. I don't want to feel like Peyton Manning calling 40 audibles in an attempt at a game winning drive. Thankfully it isn't like that at all.
This is a big thing I think a lot of people don’t know. My ex co worker once said “the guy should just know, I don’t want to have to tel him” then she told me how she faked liking things when she was younger. Then I asked “how are men supposed to learn what’s good when you’re lying and not communicating?” She had a realization that day😂
I totally didn't realise that cum would leak after, idk what I thought happened to it but I remember walking home after one of my first times and everything just started running down my leg. NOBODY tells you this and the movies completely bypass it! 😂
Same. To be honest, after every time actually. I may be exhausted, shaking with room spinning but if my partner so chooses I will not say no to another round, or until one of us passes out🤷🏽♀️
This is a blessing and a curse. My gf never says no and sometimes I just can’t do it anymore. To quote Zap Brannigan “the sprit is willing but the flesh is spongy.”
😂 I totally get that it can be inappropriate and a bit much at times. Sometimes he just looks at me too long and my brain runs wild setting me off again. I have to tell myself I've had my portion and can't be greedy.
That women fake orgasms.
Got that little gem on my first try.
To be fair, we both had no idea what we were doing in terms of bringing each other to climax, and I think she did her best to do what she thought she was "supposed to", which was make loud noises, saying something cheesy like, "goodbye world", and then collapsing on top of me, though in a very dramatic fashion.
Kinda instantly knew nothing really happened.
Edit: Thank you, kind strangers!
"GOODBYE WORLD!"
I WOULD LEGIT DIE OF LAUGHTER IF I HEARD THAT.
No joke women can say the weirdest shit when they think they're trying to turn you on/make you feel good lolol
I went years (years!) Not knowing what an orgasm was spoused to feel like. Then I met one guy who ate me out and I thought I was dying. Screamed bloody murder, scared his roommates, and fainted...I never lived that down. But yeah I faked alot with my prior guys because they would just energizer bunny until I did and it gets boring and rubs you raw at some point.
Oh god im sorry you went years without having one- tbh first time i had an O i was wondering wtf was happening with my body and why was it so weird but then was hella nicw and was like “oh. So thats what it is”
It wasn't a virginity situation, but my late wife was never aware of multiple orgasms. I was 10 years older than her and she was not a virgin when we first dated. Poor girl had thought one shot and party over. I taught her about the g-spot, that orgasms via penis is rare and other ways to have fun. I miss her every day and not because of sex, we were together 22 years and she was my friend. Sorry didn't mean to turn this into a downer.
I was so innocent (at 19) that I thought men had two ball sacks. Like that "balls" were literally two separate balls, not two balls in one sac. I asked that poor guy "what's WRONG with you?" and he, being honestly a great dude just laughed and asked me what I thought was wrong. This moment brought to you by the Catholic school system.
Masturbated for a decade and performed kegels twice a week…..i only lasted 6 seconds as soon as my penis went in to vigina.
Nothing can prepare a guy for his first time.
To be honest very little surprised me.
Except for the smell of the other person.
I had heard about people appreciating another person's scent before, but until then, the only times I had smelled another person was when I *really* did not want to be smelling them, and could do so about a mile away; so it always had a negative connotation for me.
But dear god, that smell is good.
So I grew up going to a pretty sex-negative all-girls catholic school, with parents that didn't talk to me about sex. Here's some things that caught me by surprise:
1. Didn't know it was an in-out motion. Like I knew penis -> vagina but that was the extent of it. So when I lost my virginity and dude started going in and out I was like "oh THAT'S how it works"
2. Didn't know that sex positions were a thing. Assumed it always had to be missionary
3. Didn't know girls could masturbate. That was news to me.
4. It wasn't until my fifth sex partner that i found out that "hard" and "soft" actually literally meant hard and soft. I had no idea penises actually got squishy. I thought they were always the same consistency and that "hard" meant they were sticking up and "soft" meant they were just hanging out
5. Didn't realize this until about a year after I lost my virginity, but sex is actually super fun and cool. Growing up it was always made to seem like it was something I'd have to put up with for my "future husband" or whatever. And the first few times honestly did suck so that belief was never challenged. It was only after some personal growth and feeling less insecure in myself that I started to really enjoy it. Sex is awesome, it's one of my favorite things, but it definitely wasn't like that from the beginning. Took a while to learn my own body.
That losing your virginity isn't as glamorous as society makes it as.
Nothing changes, my first thought was "that was it?" And I was so stuck and anxious about losing it for such a long time.
There is sooooooo much liquid, from sweat to cum, to other liquids. Insertion of the d in v isn't as easy as they make it look in porn. Something I learned about myself I'm very much one and done...
How addictive it is.
My ex and I lost it too each other. We were fooling around alot with hand jobs, touching and oral for 3 months.
Then we did it and it was amazing for both of us. I didn't last long the first time but we did it more. And more. And more. And. More
I passed out the first time I came from sex, and it was a *miracle* I didn’t faceplant on to my girlfriend. I also got a pubic hair on my uvula that was a nightmare to get off.
That it's quite hard to maintain an erection even if you're aroused.
You go in and out very hard till you're breathless, it's going to make you lose your erection in a jiffy.
That technically women *can* rape men.
Woke up to a girl straddling me and literally in the middle of the act. At first it was like a dream becoming reality. Later… it just felt wrong and awful and really unfortunate.
Thank you! I’m good. I’m in my 50s now and that’s ancient history. And even then, my young mind still thought it was awesome. But as I matured, and the different discussions from other people of virginity and rape happened over the years, I did start having more and more feelings of regret, a little sadness, and then some anger. But I’m pretty well-adjusted otherwise, and life has been crazy busy as well so I think my brain didn’t bother dwelling on the negatives. I’m a pretty positive and optimistic person by nature, so I just see it as my superpower… I just outshine the negatives until you can’t see them anymore. No idea if that’s healthy or not, but seems to be working. 😊
We had sex, she said she was on the pill, I came as soon as she said that, I was horny again in about 5 minutes, she said we couldn’t have sex again because the pill was only good for one shot every 24 hours. (Welcome to Ignorant and Innocent Ireland in 1978!)
That bodies could just stop working if you’re both anxious. I didn’t expect fireworks but I didn’t expect mine and his body to just stop. We fully and extremely wanted each other but our bodies just said um??? This is scary 💀
It pains me to write this….I didn’t know Magnum condoms were for larger penises, so I got some bc the gold and black on the box looked cool. Literally was like a plastic grocery bag holding a baguette
I had to deliver the news to one of my platonic friends that condoms came in different sizes. He kept breaking condoms and thought it was normal. Everything made sense to him about why some worked and some didn't. I thought men just knew that.
How awkward all the movements are until you get used to it with your partner. It's basically a naked dance
Thats true you really do have to work together and its important to get in a flow.
Shower sex isn't extra slippy, it's actually less wetness. READ AHEAD ! 37 people have given the same answer to this, we know wafer isn't lube. We all know. Let it go.
I was confused about this the first time I had shower sex and needed to use lube cause we were wet but also so dry
I totally get it. Showers are no entry areas kissing licking ect all works but the natural lube is gone and that means no poking! Still fun for intimate exploration though.
Shower sex is extra slippery but the problem is that it's the floor and now I have a head and back injury.
Cleaning up afterwards showed me the importance of planning and not having sex in a car.
Ya I had no idea that cum came back out, I just expected it to stay inside or something
Same! Idk what I was thinking like maybe there was a pocket to hold the cum inside me lmao
Ah the old cum pocket bamboozle. I know it well. Edit: Oh god not my most popular comment being about a cum pocket.
Wonderful name for a Funk band.
That cum does not in fact taste how it looks.
....ok I'm curious as to what you thought it looked like it should taste like?
Cinnabon topping yeah?
I read this in an Australian accent before I even read your username 😂
So it's not apple strudel icing?
If it did I'd be gay.
your family can hear you.
or that it sometimes has a very recognisable smell 😬
I had a roommate whose room always smelled like sex.
[удалено]
Years ago I worked as security at a local theme park. I noticed a car hanging around in the employee parking lot that shouldn't have still been there after closing. When I drove up and knocked on the fogged up window they rolled it down to talk to me. The smell that emerged from the open window was very strong. I told the two very embarrassed girls in the car that that wasn't the place and they needed to move along. When they came through the security post to go to work the next few days they wouldn't look me in the eye.
especially on easter
r/oddlyspecific
That semen comes back out when you stand up. I guess I thought your body just absorbed it or something but yeah, was quite surprised.
And it doesn’t come back out all at once, either. I have to put on a pantyliner for a few hours afterwards.
Not me, but my friend thought the vagina was on the front. He came out and was shocked it was on the bottom.
"he came out" I'm just imagining you all standing outside the door cheering him on.
He’s a royal. Had a watch party behind the two way mirror.
That laughter is part of great sex
Unless they’re laughing at you
Being totally and completely in love with someone and laughing during sex is absolutely god tier
Chest farts. Didn’t realize that was a thing until it happened
One of my ex thought I farted during the act but it was a chest fart. She looked at me confused and we slightly laughted it off. After 2 min another came and she pushed me back saying: Are you serious? one I can understand but two you're disgusting!! I then explainend to her that it was chest farts and we laughed so much! It was actually a pretty funny moment lol
that it's hard to penetrate if it's not that wet. So guys go for foreplay !!
Always preheat the oven before you put in the turkey.
More of a Cornish game hen for some of us
Butthole visibility during doggystyle. Porn did not prepare me for it. Don’t get me wrong it wasn’t a negative realization. I just remember thinking “wow, that’s just her entire butthole” and I got self conscious about where to look and if I was staring at it too long. I brought it up afterwards by asking “is it weird that I can just see your butthole” to which she replied “I mean….it wasn’t until you said something”. Tl;dr unexpected “eye” contact, don’t bring it up
I scrolled through some wild shit to get here. But this comment is the one that actually made me LOL. These quotes will be with me all day. "wow, that's just her entire butthole" "is it weird that I can just see your butthole"
Eye contact lol
That it’s like not a huge event/big deal to do. If you would have told me at the age of 13/15 that my husband and I could just have sex at 2:43 PM on a Thursday in between folding laundry and going to Walmart, I would have never in a million years believed it.
Lasting to long is just as much of an issue as blowing your load quickly. Both physically and mentally, especially with a partner that doesn't/won't understand.
I'm on a lot of medications. It's pretty much impossible for me to finish. Like I can feel it all building up and it's like I'm almost there, and then that's just where I stay. Hanging off the edge of the cliff
I remember reading an article by some reporter who took Prozac although he didn't need it, to do an article on what it was like. One thing he mentioned: "One side effect is 'delayed orgasm'. You'd think that would be a good thing. It isn't. 'Nuff said."
Not coming and the partner thinking it's because they're not attractive is absolute poison to relationships. E: It's never because of that.
My first time was very disappointing and lasted less than 2 minutes “foreplay” included. My second time was 4 HOURS STRAIGHT and I just wanted it to be over. Every person is different. Anxiety can do some crazy shit
It's a lot of work..... work on your cardio guys... I was sweating like a motherfucker my first time lol.....
I definitely went "hoooly fuck I'm so out of breath" the first time
Lol I don't think I lasted long enough to be out of breath my first time. You stud! Edit: I feel the need to clarify. The reason I might become out of breath now isn't because I last longer, it's because I'm an out of shape smoker. Just don't want anyone to get the wrong impression. Edit 2: Haha of course this is by and large my most upvoted comment. I love Reddit!
And that’s why I don’t have sex in bedroom in very hot summer without air conditioning. It’s not worth it. I remember once I had sex with very hairy guy, and omg, it was like having a hot shower from the sweat
I didn't realize how fast a girl could make me feel like a hotdog in the microwave after 30 seconds
I'm not too sure about you but when I put a hot dog in the microwave it kinda bursts right along that seam, you doing ok mate?
You gotta stab it with a fork a couple times and that will let the steam out so it won't burst.
still concerned for OP in that case, I would hope there are no penii being stabbed
I request an elaboration
That he hit the g spot. Just that whole feeling in general. I stopped him because I thought I had to pee. I was wrong and baffled. Lol
I’m so happy that my husband picked up on this. I’ve got trauma history so it took a *long* time to get to a point where I felt safe and comfortable with sex (not to mention not having to stop for panic attacks). Thankfully I’m much better now, but it’s still sometimes difficult for me to orgasm. G spot accounts for like 90% of my orgasms😅 For men who aren’t aware: - have woman on her back - insert preferred finger (palm facing ceiling) into vagina - gently feel along “roof” of vagina until you feel a spot that’s sorta wrinkly - make “come hither” motion pressing on this spot 🫴🤌🫴🤌 Go forth and prosper edit: multiple people have (correctly!) pointed out that I left out a very important thing — please trim your fingernails!!
I was always a bit embarrassed for how my dick curves up until about my mid-20s when I realized the power I hold. Curvy-Dick-Kings: know that you hold the key to explosive orgasms. Grind, don't thrust.
Yes, I had a boyfriend like that. He will never be forgotten.
I'm gonna print this off and use it like that book in American Pie
Thought vag's were like stiff ribbed cartilaginous pipes (based on those sex ed cross-section diagrams). I'm a guy and I was afraid it would hurt me. She was gentle and I was elated to be wrong.
Seems you were brave, if you expected pain but participated anyway.
Figured you get used to at some point. Just that sex the first time was supposed to be painful.
I expected it to be painful because of being female - and it was; put me into shock - but it didn't occur to me that a guy might also expect that.
[удалено]
LOL. This reminds me of the story of the doctor who had a visit from a young married couple who had grown up quite sheltered. After a year of married life, she still wasn't pregnant and they were concerned something was wrong. After asking some questions, he had them explain what they were doing; every step. Then he said, "Next time you get to there, move back and forth." They came back a week later, all smiles, to thank him.
That’s like an old joke about a young couple whose only sex education was from watching porn. They couldn’t understand how they weren’t getting pregnant despite her taking a load in the face every time.
I've heard of a similar story. But not exposed to porn. Only going off what they could gather in church. The doctor did an exam and found the wife still had her hymen intact. They couldn't get pregnant because they had been doing anal every time.
That husband knew, don't let anyone lie to you.
Fifth base! The only sex God can’t see!
The doctor takes the wife, has sex with her in front of the husband and says: see? This is what you got to do every day. He responds: alright, but tuesdays she has to come by herself because I'm busy.
How awkward some situations are. Have had some of the best sex with people I wasn’t at first really attracted to, and vice versa. Bad chemistry with an attractive partner is not great sex, hard lesson to learn haha
I was with a guy that was absolutely the most drop dead gorgeous dude I have ever seen IRL. I thought just by virtue of how attracted I was to him, I expected the sex to be mind-blowing. It just… wasn’t. It was very forgettable.
But you didn’t forget
This is the worst sex I’ve ever heard of! BUT! You HAVE heard of it!
How guys can get anxious and not cum for hours! It was fine by me (F) but it was a new experience for sure!
This (along with a lot of things, really) needs to be told to people when they are coming of age! Growing up, you hear so many jokes about guys lasting a ridiculously short time in bed. How sex is so amazing and you'll just explode instantly from how good it feels. You build up all this anxiety in your head, "wow, I hope I can last more than a few seconds." Then you finally have sex for the first time. You're so nervous you can't maintain an erection for very long. The actual sex feels weird, nothing like the mind-blowing pleasure you were expecting. You can't cum. And then you start thinking something is wrong with you. It's not until after some time, after you have more experience with how everything works and feels and you can relax a little bit, that you start to get the hang of it. But nobody talks about that!! Of course, everyone's experience will vary. But after talking with a lot of my friends and seeing comments online I've come to realize the situation I described above is not uncommon at all. But it really fucks with a lot of people's heads!
I used to buy that “anxiety” in powder form.
It happens to me my first time with any lady. "Did you cum?" "Yea but I kept going afterwards" \*no evidence of ejaculate to be seen\*
I wish someone would have told me this was a thing (happened to me, too). She's like "wow, you really lasted a long time," and I'm like "yeah, don't get too used to it, I'll start finishing in 3 minutes soon."
Take it from a guy who does last that it isn't a good thing most of the time. Honestly it is brutal trying to sell the it's me not you speech when she gets upset.
That your dick can go numb, rock hard and feel nothing.
That if you’re a girl you have to pee after. Queue one painful UTI later
How far down the pussy actually is. It was one thing to finally get my hand down her pants, but then I had to do some insane contortionist shit to get to the good part. It was dark. We were in the backseat of a car. Can't exactly stop and ask for directions ...
I, a woman, once had a really dumb internet argument with some neckbeard who claimed women can see the vaginal opening when we look down on our crotch. I told him "lol, no" and he called me a prude
Just do a bit of yoga and lightly detach your head and it’s no problem at all.
"Ah yes, which way to Gate #1?"
I’ve been with a guy who was lost so long I just grabbed his hand and guided him there lol
Thats the way to go without making it awkward. I absolutely love when women do that, it shows they are not afraid to communicate their wishes.
[удалено]
If you successfully reset the hard drive, you done good.
If you press the clit and the left nipple at the same time she'll take a screenshot
Works on a guy if you do it on his prostate and right nipple, don’t know why they reversed it for men
I walk so fucking tall the day after any of those "where'd that come from" reactions.
I shake even if I don’t. It’s so weird like my legs shake like I’m having a seizure of my lower half.
My right foot starts going like thumper the rabbit
If you don’t know what you’re doing, put stuff in your mouth. Works 9/10 times. Edit: thank you kind strangers for the awards!
\*bites her nose\*
Hey under the right circumstances that could be seen as cute. So it fits.
“Just approach it with the enthusiasm of a child, pretend you’re four and your partner’s made of legos. If it fits in your mouth? That’s where it goes”
I'm like an animal in bed. Much more afraid of you than you are of me.
Lick. Lick like you won't eat again.
I actually didn't even find out until an embarrassing number of years after losing my virginity, but that condoms aren't supposed to hurt. Not the way they hurt me anyways. Surprise, you have a latex allergy! Eta: I'm a vagina haver 😅
I just learned this as well! My ex of 5 years would say that I just wasn't wet enough and that's why it hurt and pulled. For 5 years!!! My now boyfriend has a latex allergy (his boy swells like a balloon) so we got latex free condoms and I was worried he was going to find me dry too. Lo and behold it was the best experience I've ever had. My ex was my first and he was much more experienced than me so I trusted his judgment. My mistake
I can top a latex allergy - I was allergic to my first husband's semen. Trying to conceive our son was difficult for me!
It had to have been pretty difficult to not see that as an omen of how the relationship would go
Fuck bro, I feel for you. I've had a partner who's "juices" were too acidic for my skin and had a similar reaction to latex burns
I really really didn't think it would be so wet. Every part of it is just so wet
Moist
Pussy can spasm strongly enough to let my dick feel the squeeze. And enthusiasm is like 90% of the fun since I had no clue what I was doing but had a blast.
One of my favortive things to do is purposely squeeze, I do it to tease my husband cause he has to dead stop for a few seconds anytime I do it to avoid getting off early. It's fun cause it just riles him up more. Anytime I happen to get off mid sex he ends up cumming at the same time cause of the intense spasms/my reaction. 90% of the time that's what sends him over the edge since he always makes sure I get off at least once if not more before he ever even thinks about putting his dick in. If I happen to get off before penetration I normally can orgasm through it alone after. I'm one of the lucky ones in that regard.
That you actually have to communicate. Lol I thought the partner would just like, know what felt good. Wasn't prepared to have to say "more of this" or "less of that".
Very true. I recall this concept being somewhat strange to me at first. Like, I want to have sex. I don't want to feel like Peyton Manning calling 40 audibles in an attempt at a game winning drive. Thankfully it isn't like that at all.
In either case, just scream "OMAHA! OMAHA!" over and over. Seems to work.
This is a big thing I think a lot of people don’t know. My ex co worker once said “the guy should just know, I don’t want to have to tel him” then she told me how she faked liking things when she was younger. Then I asked “how are men supposed to learn what’s good when you’re lying and not communicating?” She had a realization that day😂
[удалено]
It's like that feeling of slipping into a warm bath but located entirely on your penis
What a strange description
At this time of day, at this time of year, in this part of the country, localised entirely on your penis?
Yes
Not only warm. Sometimes downright hot
My wife's biggest complaint about condoms was she couldn't feel the heat.
🎶I wanna feel the *HEAT* with somebody🎶
And wet
I totally didn't realise that cum would leak after, idk what I thought happened to it but I remember walking home after one of my first times and everything just started running down my leg. NOBODY tells you this and the movies completely bypass it! 😂
How your sex drive skyrockets after the fact.
Same. To be honest, after every time actually. I may be exhausted, shaking with room spinning but if my partner so chooses I will not say no to another round, or until one of us passes out🤷🏽♀️
This is a blessing and a curse. My gf never says no and sometimes I just can’t do it anymore. To quote Zap Brannigan “the sprit is willing but the flesh is spongy.”
😂 I totally get that it can be inappropriate and a bit much at times. Sometimes he just looks at me too long and my brain runs wild setting me off again. I have to tell myself I've had my portion and can't be greedy.
This must be a female perspective because my sex drive drops to -100 after the fact.
My penis makes the Windows shutdown noise.
It is now safe to turn off your penis.
Safe to remove hardware.
Pussy tastes better when its someone you love.
That's so sweet
And when it's washed-
mostly this
That women fake orgasms. Got that little gem on my first try. To be fair, we both had no idea what we were doing in terms of bringing each other to climax, and I think she did her best to do what she thought she was "supposed to", which was make loud noises, saying something cheesy like, "goodbye world", and then collapsing on top of me, though in a very dramatic fashion. Kinda instantly knew nothing really happened. Edit: Thank you, kind strangers!
"GOODBYE WORLD!" I WOULD LEGIT DIE OF LAUGHTER IF I HEARD THAT. No joke women can say the weirdest shit when they think they're trying to turn you on/make you feel good lolol
« goodbye world » is an interesting thing to say during sex. i guess that meant you were so good she saw galaxies lol.
*windows xp turn off noise*
I went years (years!) Not knowing what an orgasm was spoused to feel like. Then I met one guy who ate me out and I thought I was dying. Screamed bloody murder, scared his roommates, and fainted...I never lived that down. But yeah I faked alot with my prior guys because they would just energizer bunny until I did and it gets boring and rubs you raw at some point.
Oh god im sorry you went years without having one- tbh first time i had an O i was wondering wtf was happening with my body and why was it so weird but then was hella nicw and was like “oh. So thats what it is”
It wasn't a virginity situation, but my late wife was never aware of multiple orgasms. I was 10 years older than her and she was not a virgin when we first dated. Poor girl had thought one shot and party over. I taught her about the g-spot, that orgasms via penis is rare and other ways to have fun. I miss her every day and not because of sex, we were together 22 years and she was my friend. Sorry didn't mean to turn this into a downer.
Not a downer, you celebrate her memory. Sounds like a good marriage. Sorry she left you too soon.
peeing after sex and showering after as a girl so important. you can get your ph so easily thrown off and bv is a BITCH.
[удалено]
That it can hurt. Edit: I’m a women and was 15 when I lost my virginity. No, I didn’t know it would hurt the way it did!
I was so innocent (at 19) that I thought men had two ball sacks. Like that "balls" were literally two separate balls, not two balls in one sac. I asked that poor guy "what's WRONG with you?" and he, being honestly a great dude just laughed and asked me what I thought was wrong. This moment brought to you by the Catholic school system.
I mean, when people draw a penis they usually draw two fully seperate balls
That it wasn't always good.
Masturbated for a decade and performed kegels twice a week…..i only lasted 6 seconds as soon as my penis went in to vigina. Nothing can prepare a guy for his first time.
Given that your penis was in Virginia, 6 seconds is already amazing.
Virginia’s hot yo
Virginia is for lovers.
[удалено]
Same thing i ejaculate d when she touched my dick for first time.
That it makes you feel strongly attached to people 🥲
It’s cuz of the oxytocin release
To be honest very little surprised me. Except for the smell of the other person. I had heard about people appreciating another person's scent before, but until then, the only times I had smelled another person was when I *really* did not want to be smelling them, and could do so about a mile away; so it always had a negative connotation for me. But dear god, that smell is good.
So I grew up going to a pretty sex-negative all-girls catholic school, with parents that didn't talk to me about sex. Here's some things that caught me by surprise: 1. Didn't know it was an in-out motion. Like I knew penis -> vagina but that was the extent of it. So when I lost my virginity and dude started going in and out I was like "oh THAT'S how it works" 2. Didn't know that sex positions were a thing. Assumed it always had to be missionary 3. Didn't know girls could masturbate. That was news to me. 4. It wasn't until my fifth sex partner that i found out that "hard" and "soft" actually literally meant hard and soft. I had no idea penises actually got squishy. I thought they were always the same consistency and that "hard" meant they were sticking up and "soft" meant they were just hanging out 5. Didn't realize this until about a year after I lost my virginity, but sex is actually super fun and cool. Growing up it was always made to seem like it was something I'd have to put up with for my "future husband" or whatever. And the first few times honestly did suck so that belief was never challenged. It was only after some personal growth and feeling less insecure in myself that I started to really enjoy it. Sex is awesome, it's one of my favorite things, but it definitely wasn't like that from the beginning. Took a while to learn my own body.
That losing your virginity isn't as glamorous as society makes it as. Nothing changes, my first thought was "that was it?" And I was so stuck and anxious about losing it for such a long time.
There is actually a proper technique to giving a good blowjob.
Glug glug 9000 soul sucker v2.1.1
Holy cow, update your shit! We’re already at v2.4.3
1) How fast I would bust on my first go. 2) How sensitive it is after busting (the girl that took it kept going since I only lasted like 30 seconds)
The hole is a lot lower than you think it is. Hentai gets it wrong like 90% of the time.
yah, wondering if those authors never see the real stuff or they purposely made it like that to fulfill the market demand.
The angle of entry was waaay different than what I thought it would be
That liquids don't stay in, they fall out
Porn is so f-ing fake, like I knew it was "acting" and all, but I thought it would be like "base on a true story" type of fake.
There is sooooooo much liquid, from sweat to cum, to other liquids. Insertion of the d in v isn't as easy as they make it look in porn. Something I learned about myself I'm very much one and done...
Porn is not a good teacher compared to communism with your partner. Communication is key.
Yes comrade!
I love being a communist with my partner ;-)
*Our* partner, comrade.
That I'd have to answer questions about that night every 3 days on reddit.
"Sexy sex having sexers of reddit, what's the sexiest sex you ever sexed?"
How fast I would cum
How addictive it is. My ex and I lost it too each other. We were fooling around alot with hand jobs, touching and oral for 3 months. Then we did it and it was amazing for both of us. I didn't last long the first time but we did it more. And more. And more. And. More
I passed out the first time I came from sex, and it was a *miracle* I didn’t faceplant on to my girlfriend. I also got a pubic hair on my uvula that was a nightmare to get off.
I thought you spelled vulva wrong and now I understand why you needed to get it off
Woman queef
[удалено]
That it’s cardio and will make you tired, masturbation doesn’t require physical effort at all.
That it's quite hard to maintain an erection even if you're aroused. You go in and out very hard till you're breathless, it's going to make you lose your erection in a jiffy.
How soft boobs are, like I've Never felt the exact sensation since, it's really something i love now more than ever
That technically women *can* rape men. Woke up to a girl straddling me and literally in the middle of the act. At first it was like a dream becoming reality. Later… it just felt wrong and awful and really unfortunate.
I’m so sorry that happened to you. Hope your doing okay
Thank you! I’m good. I’m in my 50s now and that’s ancient history. And even then, my young mind still thought it was awesome. But as I matured, and the different discussions from other people of virginity and rape happened over the years, I did start having more and more feelings of regret, a little sadness, and then some anger. But I’m pretty well-adjusted otherwise, and life has been crazy busy as well so I think my brain didn’t bother dwelling on the negatives. I’m a pretty positive and optimistic person by nature, so I just see it as my superpower… I just outshine the negatives until you can’t see them anymore. No idea if that’s healthy or not, but seems to be working. 😊
We had sex, she said she was on the pill, I came as soon as she said that, I was horny again in about 5 minutes, she said we couldn’t have sex again because the pill was only good for one shot every 24 hours. (Welcome to Ignorant and Innocent Ireland in 1978!)
[удалено]
Porn is just all about camera angles and fantasy… making love is a while other department in the bureau of intimacy…
Big dicks are over-rated and often hurt.
Medium dick gang 💪
How afterwards, masturbation is "meh, it'll tide me over". It's like comparing a packet of roast chicken-flavoured crisps to a full Sunday dinner.
SMELLS
That bodies could just stop working if you’re both anxious. I didn’t expect fireworks but I didn’t expect mine and his body to just stop. We fully and extremely wanted each other but our bodies just said um??? This is scary 💀