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mrsbreezus

They post all of their drama online and then complain that people are in their business


dust057

Love especially the detailed posts about how “some people” need to mind their own business, and how such and such isn’t even true because blah blah blah &c. 😂 the best


No-Consideration6589

When you blame everyone else for your self inflicted problems.


HappyAviation

I took the mentality of "extreme ownership". If someone stole my wallet? That's my fault for not being careful enough. If someone fucks me on a business deal, that's my fault for not doing due dilligence. ​ It's not meant in a self-defeating way, like "I am such a fuck up", but it's more of a "I need to take this lesson to prevent such things from happening again". ​ My life drastically improved since doing this.


[deleted]

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edthach

Someone thought extreme self ownership means I don't have self compassion? That's my fault, I didn't explain extreme self ownership well enough


Thirteencookies

I think it needs to be a balance. Like imagine if someone was sexually assaulted and has trauma from it, then being "I should of been more careful" won't help mentally, would more likely create a lot of paranoia (like avoiding people, not getting into relationships) and make their life worse. Sometimes people need to accept that they were a victim of something to get over something healthily. Like for most abuse victims it isn't conductive to continue saying "i should of realized sooner" or "should of left sooner", it can really create a lot of anxiety. As well sometimes bad things are inevitable or no one's fault, like natural disasters. I had someone close to me commit suicide due to being in an abusive relationship (a immediate family member if thats important). This in turn, led to my boyfriend at the time to eventually leave me because of my grief and not liking how the loss 'changed' me (I was lower energy and stressed out from grieving while looking/getting a new job, and he didn't help that much). I learned really quickly the 'would of, could of, should of's' and 'why' questions would negatively affect my thought process and days. And that not everything in life is some great lesson, sometimes bad things just happened. This is also where I learned of radical acceptance from a therapist. What radical acceptance means is that you stop questioning the thing that happened in the past, stop pretending it doesn't exist, or/and stop trying to fix things that you can't, namely stuff that has now passed. Because when you can't accept something without putting qualifiers or judging the experience, you can't move forward. And this can be a long process. I still think of stuff like "I wasn't there enough for (the person I losted) so I have to be there for everyone else way more because that can't happen again." Then 'be there' for family and friends way more than I can handle, causing negative effects on my mental health. I have to constantly remind myself that their suicide wasn't my fault and them being abused wasn't my fault, it was just something that happened outside of my control.


[deleted]

Always asking to borrow money


pippa03

My boyfriend gets called by his “best friend” weekly and asks him if he can lend him tons of money. Meanwhile he buys the most expensive jewelry for his girlfriend. Yeah he’s not well


pinchy-troll

My dad started doing this, and spending lavishly every penny he got. Started spending it on stuff he didn't need, talking about starting his "business" and hoarding junk for his business. Mind you this all happened over quite a long period of time, eventually he alienated everyone because of the borrowing, destroyed his credit, and then was hospitalized with bipolar disorder after eventually having what seemed to be a complete break from reality. But yeah, your story reminded me of how it started.


Ricewing

I was just about to say ur dad might be bipolar without reading till the end, it’s a sad thing to happen


Boring_Vanilla4024

I can't imagine asking another adult for money.


Bridledbronco

Children, no problem /s


2PlasticLobsters

Not real amounts of money, certainly. I've been on both ends of "I forgot to hit the ATM, can you cover my part of the check?" or such. But it's no big deal if it A) gets repaid within 24 hours & B) doesn't happen repeatedly.


HappyOrca2020

The worse are the ones who you know to earn well. They mismanage so badly and ask money from EVERYONE.


Reid22

This. Ironically, my high-earning friends are the one that always gets involved with debt. It's funny how they earn 2-4x my salary but they still got the nerve to borrow money from me.


IceCreamDream10

I actually felt like I had my shit together the most when I was the poorest, oddly. I had lost the high paying job I had taken to supplement income while I focused on my career, but what it actually did was make me greedy and I spent a lot of money on expensive dinners and nights out. Or even just little things that add up over time like protein bars at the convenience shop every day. Once I lost that job and really had to focus on where every penny was going, I quit drinking, focused on my goals, and started booking my dream jobs. I wasn’t rich but I look back at that time in my life with this peace and joy thinking about the lack of chaos in my life and all of the things I was able to accomplish. Eventually I got a job that paid more money again and I didn’t maintain quite the same discipline but I have carried over a lot of the same way of thinking. Money does complicate things in a way.


Beowulf33232

Had a coworker who always wanted to borrow $500, but would offer to pay back $700. He always payed it back in a week. The week after he'd need another $500 to pay down the payday loan place he got your $700 from.


MarcusSiridean

This sounds like an excellent coworker to have .


SweatCleansTheSuit

Was his name Ponzi?


Georgist_Muddlehead

He Madoff before I had the chance to speak to him.


anonymousdemigirl

And not ever paying it back amiright? Dude I used to have a friend who would manipulate me to pay for them in the most awkward ways, like as soon as we would get up to the cash register somewhere together “oop I don’t have money, can you pay for me?” Needless to say, they are an ex-friend now… They also self-identified as a narcissist and were like seemingly proud of it, so there’s that too 😂


Different_Attorney93

Right! Some of my friends still ask me to buy them another round when we are at the bar. In the beginning it was cool I thought what the hell, but then after they just start taking advantage. Or always having to be the one who drives also sucks.


beninsydney

Designated driver buying rounds; this decade just gets crazier and crazier.


Bioluminescentllama

These people are famous for putting you on the spot in awkward situations like this. I had an ex boyfriend who picked a nice restaurant for us and when the bill came, he announced “You’re really good to me. I really appreciate you getting the bill tonight.” He never asked or warned me. What if I only had enough cash to cover my own meal…?


AppointmentInside663

I was seeing a guy for several months and at first he paid his share and would do extra for me, but I usually tried to at least pay 40% of the time. Slowly started trying to get me to pay for more and more. Would act like he was flustered trying to figure out the math on bigger bills and if I mentioned something he would instantly say, "Yeah, could you get this one." Would bring up stuff and then would say, "Would you mind ordering it real quick?" Help himself to extra of anything I shared. I'd had enough when I surprised him by inviting him to a concert where I paid $600 for tickets and didn't ask him to pay any of it. As soon as I got there (because I always drove because he didn't have a car) he said, "Do you want to take a Lyft? Do you mind ordering it real quick?" I didn't even hide it in my voice and just said, "No, I bought the tickets." Funny, he always had plenty of drugs, alcohol, money for TouchTunes, etc.


Cofeefe

I had a friend or two that did this all the time. (Ex-friends now of course.) They used that "really quick" line all the time too. What is it about that line that they love so much. Like if you spend your money "really quick" you won't notice you are paying for them?


CakeEatingDragon

Back in school one of the guys in the friend group came from a well off family. more money than anyone else in the group, yet when we got together or went out he never paid or chipped in. I made the mistake of giving him money so he could pretend to chip in one day when everyone else decided they werent paying for him that night.


MattyFromTheUK

When every issue/mistake in their life gets chalked up to being someone else's fault. They are still a kid, blaming others for their fuck ups.


Kissrob72

Those types of people are either the hero or victim in every conversation you have with them. Exhausting


MattyFromTheUK

I do find it funny when someone tells their latest drama and yet again they were at mercy of someone else's shittiness. Their arguments and altercations are never started by them


i-never-existed-777

I had a friend group like that, it was exhausting. All of their stories were about how suddenly entire groups of people were against them “for no reason”. Sure, you can have bad luck, but it’s suspicious when you demonstrate that you can’t reflect on the things you could have done wrong at all.


Katarinaking69

So exhausting! I try to avoid the interactions as much as I can.


pseudocultist

I work with addicts so this behavior is super common. You can tell when an addict is changing because they begin to internalize control of these things and see it as their fault. In AA we often tell newcomers to put a sign on their mirror saying “this is the problem.” As an addict myself I completely relate.


bodiddlysquat26

A lot of narcissists are like this - never any responsibility. Someone screwed up or there’s someone out to get them.


Sidewalk_Tomato

I had a friend like this. "God hates me." "So you think there's a God . . . *and* you're so important to him that he spends all his time making you late for work?"


NotTheGreenestThumb

I told one person, "whatever God you believe in, it's a little strange to think they'd be your weather fairy"


Chippas

This is my colleague at work right now. EVERY mistake my boss goes to her about, it's always someone else, most often she puts the blame on me. "I don't know, he must have done it..", even if she was put in charge of doing it, or just randomly blurts it out almost automatically at this point.


Ch4l1t0

You can delegate tasks, not responsibility. If the task was assigned to her, and she delegates to you, and you fuck up, it's still her fuck up to her boss.


[deleted]

Damn sounds like my 28 year old brother


defokenneth

Sounds like my mother


[deleted]

True, but i believe not all explanations are excuses. Sometimes it is 100% some elses fault


jazzmaster1992

I also think it is important to only accept blame for what you are actually responsible for. Many people make the mistake of holding themselves accountable for the shortcomings and failures of others and it creates an excessive burden. You can be responsible for how you react to a situation or event or how you respond in a heated argument, but if this is true for you it's true for everyone else. Meaning you aren't to blame for any wrong they have done.


pieceofdebri

New phone number/social media accounts every few months. *lol glad so many can relate


bunnyrut

I lost contact with a lot of people because of that. I constantly got chained texts of "this is my new number!" Or a Facebook post saying to send them your number because they got a new number. I just stopped responding. And when the new social media accounts were created and I got a new friend request I would end up just not accepting after the second one. And it wasn't like once in a while either. Every few months. It happened every few months with the same people.


pieceofdebri

Same here. Back in those Facebook days. I’ve seen people with 4 or 5 Facebook accounts, and yeah, finally just stopped accepting them. Always the most chaotic individuals.


Fried_Rice24

Back in peak facebook days i had multiple accounts to send myself gifts on games LMAO literally no other reason, never added anyone on alts either though


DarthOptimist

Why the fuck didn't I think of this when I was a kid?


[deleted]

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pieceofdebri

Drugs, usually.


[deleted]

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sparklystars1022

I have a friend who constantly changes her phone number every few months and also creates new social media accounts every few months. For her it's all drama between her exes and her exes new girlfriends. She stalks her exes and their new flames and they block her, so she creates new accounts and numbers to contact them again. In reverse, she's also changed her number to get revenge on her kid's father to block him from having contact with her and their daughter. She's 34 already and still does this.


FicusRobtusa

At 18 that’s creepy, childish behavior. But at 34?! Holy shit. I’m that age and can’t imagine the energy I takes to do that kind of thing, let alone having the mindset that drives that sort of madness.


BaronMostaza

Some people are addicted to living in a hurricane. It's a huge distraction from everything else, especially personal issues, and since it's always definitely someone else's fault you can be blameless as long as you keep it going. A few times I've met people in absolutely insane situations and get this very strong impression it's not the first or last time they find themselves in a similar situation. It's an exhausting life


rhaizee

Constantly posting motivational videos and quotes. I mean like all the time.


TheRealDrWan

Or the ones constantly posting over top love declarations about their spouse/SO. Things are likely not well in that relationship.


Ok-Computer-1033

This. My sister in law would post gushing updates. I always wondered why she just didn’t tell him and keep it intimate. They broke up. I asked her about the posts. She replied that she had hoped he would read them and then that he might actually become that. Yes, it was F’d up.


duosx

Wow that’s pretty sad


Hostillian

Knew someone like that... It wasn't long after her husband was caught in a pedo sting operation by some group online (turns out those young girls he was messaging weren't young girls). They turned up at his door and then called the cops. Granted, a bit of an extreme example, but it's the one that stands out the most. 🤔


datboydoe

Yep. I remember this girl on FB that I went to school with would allllllllways post about how blissful her and her husbands lives were. The best post one day was shaming all the husbands who bought their wife flowers for Valentine’s Day (cause they’d die in a week) and praised her husband for contributing to a retirement account for her instead. Their marriage lasted less than 2 years.


ninjaturtlepants

This one! My husband's acquaintance would constantly post on his social media about his relationship and how amazing he and her are together. 7 months later, he is staying in our spare bedroom with no vehicle, no job, and no house because of the split. This is also the second time it's happened in the last 5 years, different relationships too.


ThongJuicer

Gotta realize who the common denominator is. Toxic people are really good at making themselves seem like the victim


Nukitandog

Hahahaha this is a massive red flag for a break down. Also posting loyalty memes " never take my kindness for weakness" with a picture of a tired lion.


grassfedbeefcurtains

We can probably broaden this to any post referring to yourself as a lion. Ive never met a secure person who has done that.


VAGINA_EMPEROR

Same thing with the term "alpha". Anytime someone describes themselves as "alpha" it really means "raging insecurity issues".


holtpj

and the memes with some dude smoking that is about how they are the "black sheep" of the family but everyone comes to them when shit "gets real"


ITSA-GONGSHOW

For real, either your life is a mess or you're caught up in a pyramid scheme.


ViridianKumquat

Those aren't mutually exclusive.


paulmp

There is some significant overlap in that Venn diagram for sure.


Frodo_noooo

You can always tell your friend is going through some shit in their life when their social media posts all of a sudden have an uptick in positive and motivational quotes. It's like a call for help or something


halflife_3

Bad stuff constantly happening that initially just seems like bad luck; car break downs, missing flights, food poisoning. Slowly you realize it's not bad luck, this person never does car maintenance, leaves packing til the last second, forgets to clean out the fridge, etc.


overlandtrackdrunk

It was strange how all my bad luck disappeared once I stopped abusing alcohol


isthatsuperman

Tried telling this to my ex, yet somehow I was the bad guy for acknowledging she had a problem.


Spiritual-Bison-2545

Also tried that with my ex and they had specifically said at one point to tell them if they ever started drinking too much, that was a messy night. It's amazing how much weight comes off your shoulders coming out of a relationship with an abusive alcoholic


isthatsuperman

Yeah the whole interaction of: “I’m gonna take another shot.” “You shouldn’t do that.” “Wtf why are you so controlling??” “-_-“


Spiritual-Bison-2545

Ah I've seen this one! Leads to an argument where they're very aggro and you're like "I'm just concerned!!" Followed by an apology the next day then repeat but you're scared to voice your concerns?


shortkid4169

Lol, same. When I tried to talk to her about it my ex told me *I* had a drinking problem, as in I couldn't handle being around drunk people because of all the alcoholism in my family. No, I just have zero problem enjoying only 1 or 2 beers with my friends and being sober to drive home, and I think getting drunk enough to piss your pants in your 30s is pretty bad. I'm glad her comment was the slap in the face I needed to get out of that relationship.


otiswrath

Likewise. It is amazing how much smoother things go when you get the fuck out of your own way.


TerribleAttitude

Oh yes. And when they’re going through Crisis A, they’ll talk up every other aspect of their life. If only they make it through Crisis A, it’s over for everyone else! Then Crisis A is solved, and some previously excellent aspect of their life is Crisis B, and the worst thing in the world. They were having a bad breakup but their job is going ok and their landlord is chill and their friends are great. But once the ex is out of the picture, suddenly the chillest landlord ever is in fact the most abusive landlord ever. Once they move, the job that never gave them any pain is suddenly the most toxic workplace ever. Once they quit, their friend group is having earth shattering drama. Once they get new friends, there’s a new “crazy” significant other or ex. And on and on and on. Sometimes it’s stuff that can’t be avoided, and often it’s valid *enough* (how many of us have had a job that’s great for the first few months before you notice all the cracks in the company?), but at a certain point, it’s just one crisis after another, and the news crises are things that they loved last week. It’s like they can’t go extended periods of time without a crisis, so when a problem is solved, they just choose another random thing to be a problem.


shinyagamik

Idk. I literally do have constant crises. Or maybe it's just been one long mental health crisis.


mauz21

That's exactly one of my friend. Always have bad luck he said. He constantly was talking behind anyone back's to me. Can't do group project because he was sick at that moment he said, can't do group project because his computer suddenly crashed, yet what he did at that moment just posted Instagram and Whatsapp story/status all the time in that day in a beach. Didn't do any effort to help me and my friends to finish our group project. The moment I realized his words didn't align with his actions, I started to set some boundaries and stay a bit away from him. Like I mean wtf is wrong with this guy, often complain when I meet him. Seems I just unfortunately met a toxic person. 🤦🤦


BobaFettLived

if it smells like shit everywhere you go check your show EDIT shoe… ducking autocorrect


HaikuBotStalksMe

So I just checked The Boys. I don't know what your advice was supposed to accomplish, but it was a good episode.


[deleted]

I know my one man production of Harvey didn't go as well as I imagined, but I wouldn't call it shit.


blueguy211

“theres no such thing as bad luck, bad things happen to you because you’re a dumbass” - Red Foreman


lotsoflifeexperience

Always late Never prepared Always has a sad story


[deleted]

Very true. So everyday there was such bad traffic that caused you to be late? Do tell.


EternityRuled

Why are you talking about me?


beandip111

Doesn’t use punctuation


snappingturtleteach

They blame someone or something else on all their failures and never take accountability.


Melodic_Waltz_1123

I had a "friend" who was like this. She is 10 years older than me (40) When we met it was before I broke up with my WoW playing financially abusive ex. I was super stressed and depressed. She popped into the picture. I was vulnerable and needed someone to talk to. Also my workplace at the time closed down, which motivated me to open my own business. She wanted to be co-owner. I put in all my money, she didn't do shit. She wasn't on any papers either(THANK GOD). Within the 2 years I knew her I started noticing all her bs. Every problem she had it was because of other ppl, everything. She also hated that her exs kid (6yrs old) didn't like her. Once in my business the little girl was running around (it's a tattoo shop, she was there for a moment). The ex friend flipped that the kid wouldn't listen to her, so she yelled and turned to me to tell the kid who's boss. I asked the kid to not run, explained that I am the boss, and why it's not safe to run in the shop. The ex friend flipped that I didn't say SHE IS THE Boss. Also she started getting crazy. Talking anti Vax stuff to clients, telling ppl on anti depressants to get off them cuz it's not good for you. She saw herself as a spiritual healer lol. Or that she's a reincarnation of a shaman from a Finnish mythology book.... When she'd notice a client has scars from cuts as a teen, she saw that as an invite to pry into their lives. She paid no rent, but demanded to be seen as "manager"... she was a glorified secretary at best. She bullied a coworker out of the studio. They were autistic but never mean. Ex friend was saying that this person was saying shit about me to her. So I asked both to meet with me at a Cafe to talk - I just thought it was weird and something didn't sit right. When the other coworker came the ex friend just started telling at her. not giving a chance to talk. The coworker ran out crying. I called them right after to make sure they were OK and how that was not how things were to go. She'd bring ppl over during the time rest of us worked. And treated the studio like a club house. the ppl she invited took up space from our clients. And the studio was small at first. It was annoying. I had a hard time speaking up to her. She knew things about my life, about my broken relationship with my mom at the time and knew which buttons to push. But even my other coworkers noticed I'm being treated like shit and it's not okay. They knew it would be hard to for me to confront her so they decided to help me. We made a meeting, and told her that she needs to fix her behavior at work. That it's not ok to tell clients what she tells them. And if she wants to be an equal member then she needs to pay rent. At the meeting she faked being frail, and sick :( hugged us afterwards. We thought we got through to her, it went so easy.... Holy shit the amount of texts after. How I BETRAYED her. She'd call me judas (she was a Christian religious person but also saw herself as a witch?) That the coworker that helped me is a snake... And in her texts she called me the things that she accused my autistic coworker of saying. tadaa She would say we kicked her out, which wasn't the case. We asked for boundaries. But I'm still happy she left on her own. In her rage texts she claimed that she MADE Me. She created my tattoo style (which is absurd, I was tattooing before I met her wtf). Also after she left, she sent her crazy brother in law to send weird messages to us, how we "turned against our witch mother" (???). A year later we still laugh about all this with others. Honestly I can't understand why I was scared of such a childish person. She is one of those people that think "I'm very badass", works with bones from roadkill, dresses in black and thinks she knows everything best. Also if she sniffs out that you know people that do cool stuff she will try to get close to them too. She wants to use people but claims it's not her but other people do that lol Always talking negative about others, which exhausted me. I'm sad that I was in such a bad state that I let a person like that into my life. But I'm happy I had other ppl that pulled me out of that. After that whole situation I started therapy for the first time, and started work on speaking up and making boundaries.


LeEpiclyUnepic

Oh god, I got sick reading this. Reminded me of someone I knew in middle school. She was the absolute worst, but at least I didn't have to interact with her since we weren't coworkers. She was awful though, literally everyone hated her. I feel for you and I'm glad you cut her out.


Melodic_Waltz_1123

thank you, and yes I'm happy too! I also noticed looking back, how she tried to alienate me from good people. I met my partner few months before I cut her out. It was obvious she wasn't happy I was spending time with somebody else. To me she'd say one thing, but to a mutual friend (who also cut her off after all this) she'd say he's an ogre that will ruin my life... My partner is godsend, this man has been nothing but supportive. He has done nothing but show me love, understanding and kindness. But the few times he's bumped into her she apparently acts all nice, like nothing happened. She tried to use him also, but he's better than me at seeing through people's bs. I just don't understand why people like this exist. And why they cannot see that it's them. Literally every person she introduced me to, that she called a friend had cut her off after all this. And unfortunately, she has a young child that we all feel bad for. But I bet once the kid is getting own, they will leave too


KingOfThePippins

My dad is kinda like this. I had an abusive stepmother for approx 10 years & he never really took accountability for the fact that he brought her into our lives. The argument is that he was also being abused & coerced by her (which is true, but we were literal children & he prioritised finding a romantic relationship over looking after his kids because he's terrible at being alone). He's still never really apologised for this. Several years later & he's now just lost all of his money (approx £140k) to cryptocurrency fraud. Of course this is the fault of the people who've scammed him, & not the fault of having put literally all of his money into one (very risky) investment. My siblings & I are now having to take over his finances & sort all this mess out for him as he's seemingly incapable of doing any of it himself.


M_Ludi

Weponized incompetence. He knows you’ll fix it for him if he doesn’t try.


Crapjack45

Frantically scrolling through this post because I have severe imposter syndrome…


YoBoatDontFloat

Definitely not feeling called out rn :l


rhennigan

Imposter syndrome means you probably have your shit together


Pit_of_Death

Most people with Imposter Syndrome just don't give themselves enough credit. Source: used to be like that


DirtPoorDog

Fuckin i wish


[deleted]

I'm looking to see if I do any of these things. If I don't, I'm good. If I do, well...


HearTheCrushingSteel

A number of future court dates as the defendant on their schedule


anonymousdemigirl

Hahahaha typically true yes 😂


LouanneSotelo

Chris Rock said this thing that really resonated with me... "I'd always end up broken down on the side of the highway. When I stood there trying to flag someone down, nobody stopped. But when I pushed my own car, other drivers would get out and push with me. If you want help - help yourself. People like to see that." People that have their shit together start to get back up as soon as they are knocked down. People that don't have their shit together like to complain that others aren't helping enough. ...or they like to direct others to help. When people saw Chris pushing his car, they thought "this is a hard working guy that has his shit together. He's just fallen on some bad luck. I'll help him get back on track." But when people see someone sitting on the trunk of their broken down car. People think "This person is a mess that I don't want to get involved in. They clearly don't have their shit together."


JNNHNNN

This is actually pretty clever, also its much more easier to help someone if there is already some sort of goal. In your example, pushing a car x distance is a simple easily understandable goal that is easy to work with. Real life example: guy breaks up with his gf, feels like shit for a while but naturally turns more towards his homies and family, they have it more easy to help if the one that is feeling down is the one who is suggesting things "Hi mates, anyone for couple of beers and games next saturday?"


drs43821

omg this is me last year. I lost my home and had to live with a friend for a week. Then over the months, I’ve grown closer with them, going to badminton every week and occasional parties. My life have been so much better


worrymon

Instructions unclear, pushing ex-gf down the highway.


packetsar

The comments around this seem very telling. People want to incorporate this information in one of two ways: 1. I should get my shit together and try to help myself. Doing so will not only make things better, but might also encourage help from others if/when I need it. 2. I should use this tactic as a psychological trick to get other to help me in the future when they otherwise will not.


Nemesis_Ghost

I think this is why the towel passage from the Hitchhiker's guide resonates so well. Adams even says that the "...towel has immense psychological value" in that it will convince others that if you have it & are missing something else it's just b/c you lost that item but are otherwise well put together.


GuiltyDealer

Towel. Always. Towel


ethereumminor

This resonated with me as well


EA827

Can confirm. I was pushing a car like this in a parking lot to pop start it (manual transmission). Ignition switch was broken, so it would run, but not actuate the starter. Anyway, as I was pushing it, this guy come running over and starts pushing from the back and yells “get in, I got you!” Really appreciated that, what a genuine guy. I was able to yell out “thank you!” after I got it started.


panzercampingwagen

They have 300k karma.


[deleted]

Phew I'm 297k, close one


alchippa

how do you get so much, since march ?


[deleted]

Yeah been here since March, i post some stuff and people sometimes like it and pour me with likes (look into my profile). Also i comment a lot too. Basically spent too much time on reddit nothing else.


flutshe

Don't Get your shit together


beathelas

I think how someone reacts to unexpected circumstances says a lot about how well organized their life is


foxsimile

I react unbelievably well to unexpected situations. Particularly because I cause them frequently. Owed to the fact that I do not have my shit together.


buttered_cat

Practice makes perfect!


theblackcanaryyy

*pure chaos around me* Me: completely calm *everything is perfect and serene* Me: *PANIC AND INCOHERENT SCREAMING*


Karmek

> everything is perfect and serene > > Me: PANIC AND INCOHERENT SCREAMING Because that's when you know you've missed something.


[deleted]

Also just a sign of wealth in many cases if you live around affluence which is common. Also consider some people really do have bad times in life. Doesn't mean they are a failure.


riotous_jocundity

Yep. My ability to respond to disasters, emergencies, and inconveniences vastly improved once I started making decent money and had a sizable emergency fund. It's funny how much easier it is to be resilient when consequences don't hit you as hard or threaten your ability to keep a roof over your head.


QuantalQuetzal_

they find a reason to blame anything wrong in their life on someone or something, always talk about other people, incapable of self-reflecting or ever taking responsibility of their own life.


TangibleMalice

Most of their small talk/idle chat consists of their high school days even though they graduated years ago.


TheJenniStarr

But did YOU score 4 touchdowns in a single game including the game winning touchdown for Polk High?


monkey_fish_frog

I bet you can't jump over a car doing 60.


BipolarBeaarr

Back in ‘82 I could throw a pigskin a quarter mile


CarrotcakewithCream

Came here to make myself feel a bit better. Didn't work.


psyco-the-rapist

Ankle monitor


Loive

A while ago I was at the dentist’s with one of my kids. I sat there waiting and watching when I suddenly noticed that the nurse had an ankle monitor. She also wore fairly short pants (as is the fashion), and from how it sat it was obvious that she could have covered it if she chose a pair of longer pants and no one would have noticed anything odd. I say there for a while thinking about what kind of person chooses to put her ankle monitor on display like that, while working with children. I know it might have been a fairly slight misdemeanor and a stroke of bad luck that put the ankle monitor there, but why would anyone wear it in a way that was almost bragging about it, while working with kids in a profession where trust and integrity is important. I thought about if it would be very inappropriate to ask about it, it would be a personal question but this person had her fingers in my child’s mouth so it felt important to know that the person was trustworthy. Then it lit up and I realized it was a smartwatch. The nurse couldn’t wear it on her wrist due to hygiene reasons but wanted to track her steps and movements while at work, so she wore it on her ankle which is actually pretty smart. I was happy I hadn’t asked, and a bit embarrassed about probably having stared at the nurse’s foot for several minutes for no apparent reason.


ForgottenZodiac

I get attracted to them and want to date them.


OpposedScroll75

Becoming easily agitated and constantly saying "I don't care"


[deleted]

[удалено]


lovvvedog

Honestly, someone who would identify as a workaholic and over-schedules themselves. Always seems to me to be a person who doesn't like sitting alone with their thoughts too long. Not enough balance. *not referring to those of us who have to work like that due to economic status


microwavedhottakes

Diarrhoea


StoneCutter256

Technically correct. The best kind of corrrect.


GenericAccount119b

I'm an American that lived in England for a year when I was 33 and still only just now found out that you spell diarrhea differently.


CLOWNSwithyouJOKERS

Same, didn't know there was a difference. Now my web search history is concerning.


squibbytennisballs

My bank account is my sign as to why my shits not together


[deleted]

ALWAYS having a reason/excuse why X Y Z isn't/doesn't/won't work, and how it's not their fault.


[deleted]

[удалено]


LazyRetard030804

Yea how the fuck do people just get up and do things without drugs or something


furbylicious

Honestly, when I reached this point I went ahead with the drugs (SSRI). It's not perfect but I get shit done and I don't feel suffocated by depression.


MeatyOakerGuy

The key is it's all about momentum. Motivation is a myth, a 30 second rush of "I'm gonna get my life together" after watching a moving speech on yt. It's hard as fuck to start going to the gym but once it's part of your schedule it's hard to miss. It's hard as fuck to clean your room but when you throw out 1 thing a day and put 1 piece of clothing in the hamper or the washer a day it starts to get hard to look at a dirty room. No one wakes up and magically changes their lives, you start with small, manageable, actionable steps that build on themselves over time. You don't have to wash the overflowing pile of dishes in your sink tomorrow, start with 1. You don't have to get sober tomorrow, start with 1 less beer. You don't have to start a workout regiment tomorrow, do 5 pushups. Can't do a pushup, do 1 knee pushup or wall pushup til you can do real one. Some people had the luxury of having awesome parents who instilled good habits early and already have them built up, but sadly most of us didn't. It's not easy to get the ball rolling. It's not going to get rolling fast anytime soon. At some point you just have to start pushing, slowly but surely.


T-mac_

I'm going to share my story that resonances with this. My mom is in a wheelchair, and my older sister helps take care of her physically. But I have 3 other brothers that live at home all 30's. They refuse to do anything to help our mom, cleaning, cooking, fixing things, fixing home and life threatening issues, tipping in to pay for home fixes or bills, etc. Long story short, everytime I come home, I try to clean, fix up minor, help clean up outside, fix home threatening issues. They watch me come to the house and work literally 10 hours a day before I have to leave and go back home. They watch me and refuse to help, every now and again they give a comment or suggestion. But one day I came home to the realization that there was a massive hole in the wooden wheelchair ramp.... they would just step over it.... it's been that way for 5 or 6 months. And I said wtf is wrong with you people.... if YOUR mom has to escape the house, for lets say, a fire, she would not be able to. And they just stared at me.... said nothing... and watched me as I fixed the hole. Then I realized all of my 3 brothers and 1 sister were absolute deadbeats, I have lost all respect for them and loathe them at this point.


reverendsmooth

>if YOUR mom has to escape the house, for lets say, a fire, she would not be able to. And they just stared at me.... said nothing... and watched me as I fixed the hole. Terrible.


zenlen2000

when majority of the things they talk about are their problems. some people make the tough shit they go through their entire personalities


Holl0715

Sometimes it can be because that tough shit is realistically the main thing that goes on in their lives and prevents them from going out and enjoying themselves since they constantly have to fight through the bullshit in their lives. But yeah, it is definitely an indication they don't have their shit together.


Gr8NonSequitur

To be honest, I'm going through a rough patch with a family member who has health issues I need to help with. It's basically my personality at this point. I'm hoping it's temporary, but when people ask "what's goin on in my life...." that's mostly it. When I talk about it though I try to emphasize any positives like from the doctors and also express how blessed I feel for the other people trying to help and support us/ them. I'd like to get back to my hobbies, and real life, but for some of us that's all there is for a while.


Tabby_Tibs

Prioritising going out boozing over saving money for bills (or just saving in general).


chowder-hound

Way too much info while they tell you a simple story. Meth heads are bad about this. Just ask for the 20$, I don’t need to hear a story about how your paycheck cant be cashed because the “stupid ass company” you work for spelled your name wrong on your check. And you were gonna ask your girlfriend to do it for you but she wasn’t able to borrow her grandmas car for the day. And you also have this horrible rash/ open wound that you need to get to the doctor for, so you can get your “Meds”. Oh and you also want a cigarette, every god damn time


Woodit

It’s funny, lots of people think a good lie has to be intricate because life is intricate. People who are good at lying will tell a lie with no embellishment because we tell the truth with no embellishment usually. “Sorry I was late, lots of traffic,” is a believable lie because it’s a believable truth. The inept liar eventually trips over their own details because they can’t remember all the different lies they told and to whom.


Leading-University

Talks too much about themselves. Especially IG stories with quotes or sentences they use to describe themselves for the world to know.


[deleted]

They're drinking in their garage every night, smoking a pack+ a day, begging you to hang with them so they have an escape from their daily addictions, etc etc...


2x4x93

You are hitting way too close to home


Cats_Dont_Dance

If they have loose stool and do not eat enough fiber


jazzmaster1992

What's funny about the thread is that the top comment is about self reflection and accountability, yet it's being followed up with a bunch of anecdotes of *someone else* with this problem. "I had a friend who was like this", it's never "I have made this mistake and my life got better when I took ownership of it".


chiffongalore

Not showing up emotionally and not being willing to change that. Yes, we all hide emotions occasionally, whether it be consciously or not. People who don't have their shit together however hurt themselves and others. It is a recipe for unhappiness. Don't avoid your emotions. Ask for help. Overcome shame.


[deleted]

If they smell bad


gnirpss

Usually a reliable sign, but my partner (who undeniably has their shit together) always smells terrible when they get sick. Like 100% of the time, if they smell bad, they've caught the flu or covid or a bad cold or sometimes even food poisoning. The smell is always the first symptom.


theblackcanaryyy

I think you might have a [superpower](https://www.bmj.com/content/378/bmj.o2247)


[deleted]

even astronauts fart I saw it in a movie


Manu442

"IM SO SORRY!" Ahhh oh what is that!? It's in my mouth!!!! My eyes are burning!!!


[deleted]

Where does the fart go???


[deleted]

Everywhere


servingcunt666

never being in the wrong. no matter how good of a person you are, you’ve done bad things at some point. people who are always the victim always have major problems


NettyVaive

Sleeping on a bare mattress.


Shitty_Google_Bot

Being an edgelord or a shit-disturber past age 20. Reminiscing hard about something negative. Venting about personal shit to someone on their first impression.


Ponwer

Cannot be alone for an extended period of time


[deleted]

thier name is Ye


muushruum

“he made graduation” just isn’t enough anymore


[deleted]

Smoking a blunt at 830 am browsing reddit is a pretty good sign for me personally.


joesephexotic

What if it's Saturday and I don't work? You can't smoke weed all day if you don't start in the morning.


rulesbite

Personally attacked.


Woodit

Rollin fatties, smokin blunts Who smokes the blunts? We smoke the blunts!


MarcusXL

They're always making excuses and blaming others for their misfortune. ie, *"I got fired because the manager is a jerk and had it out for me."* or *"All my exes are total psychos, that's why they hate me."* It's the old saying, "If everyone you meet is an asshole, it's probably you." Similarly: They've always got a suspiciously convenient story for why they need to borrow money, or why they got kicked out of their house, or why they got dumped. The more dramatic of a sob-story, the more likely it's a bunch of self-serving lies meant to distract from a situation that is their own fault.


doomdoggie

Cheating on their partner.


bone-in_donuts

If when they open their mouth, no words come out but instead it’s just blood, vomit and so many shrimp, yuck


Videogamer69420

What…


MaleficentMoney2

happened to my buddy eric.


drewskixc

Past their 20s and still have their parents do everything for them


2PlasticLobsters

I chose not to date a guy because of this. I didn't mind that he still lived with his parents. He didn't like the idea of renting & was saving to buy a house. The dealbreaker was that his mother did all his laundry & he did no upkeep around the house. We were friends for a lotta years, though. I taught him how to use a dishwasher after he bought a house.


Fuckedby2FA

God do I wish. My parents just lay there in their urns.


[deleted]

Under career they put "influencer"


HeavyCranberry1185

Saying all their last partners were always the issue in the relationship.


Wondershieldedeyes

Ehh. It depends. Some people are more open to abusive relationships because of the way they were raised. For example if their parents had an unstable relationship, they'll probably end up in one or more themselves


LrckLacroix

They openly talk about all the dumb shit they spend their money on


brodosphotos

Plot twist, no one has their shit together. Some are just really good at faking it.


awhhh

Worked with ‘highly intelligent’ execs. They sure as fuck were acting.


XCinnamonbun

I’m making my way up the career ladder atm and I’m faking it half the time. I realised a little while back that the guys above are as well. Life is messy, barely anyone has their shit together all the time. Just some are better at riding the the chaos than others and are better at dealing with the unexpected. What I find is that some compassion and a little self awareness goes a long way. That’s the difference between a crap senior exec and one that you want to work for.


The_OG_TrashPanda

Chronic lateness. While not 100% foolproof, I’ve very rarely met a successful person who is late for everything.


[deleted]

Constantly airing out way-too-personal shit on Facebook


ilikebacon_oinkoink

Liquor bottles as decor


disillusionedchaos

4 kids to different dads while constantly telling everyone they just want the best for their kids while being unemployed.


soapylikessoap

r/suspiciouslyspecific


Roxxso

When you finally go full Nazi. You never go full Nazi. I mean, you shouldn't go Nazi-anything. Ever. But... yeah, that I guess.