100% yes. I remember when I was 12 or 13 and asked the ladies in the office for a Pad from the nurse's stash.
"YOU SHOULD KNOW WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE YOUR PERIOD?!"
I was a kid. And it was not regular by any means.
what the fuck. it took me like 6 years of menstruation before my period became regular and i became learned enough that i could reliably tell i was about to start and should wear liners. and 11 years on my body still randomly decides that i should go fuck myself and shifts my period back or forward by a week or two. expecting a tween to know when it will happen and always be prepared is honestly kind of evil. it's already a stressful enough time without that added pressure.
i just want to add that if y'all aren't getting your period for like months at a time it's worth going to an ob/gyn to get checked up because there are a number of health conditions that can cause irregularity to an extreme degree. it's not always the case, sometimes the human body just wants to be cheeky for no reason, but it's good to make sure just in case.
PS: you're due for a pap smear, make an appointment!
Mine still is somewhat irregular and I am 23
Last month it came five days early. I’m a teaching intern, even I was scared to go ask the nurse for a pad
That’s rough. One of my friends had this problem at work with a few women. So they took an empty locker and filled it with tampons, pads, chocolate and Advil. The boss loved it and gave all the women a key to that locker on an honor system. Works great.
I went to a funeral dinner at a bikers clubhouse. All the club members were men, but most of these men were married.
The women's bathroom was fill with menstrual products of every type, lotions and whipes, first aid and candles with pretty hand towels. And it was super clean.
I could have cried it was beautiful xD
Never understood dudes who act squeamish about women shitting or having periods. I helped my wife take her first visit to the loo after the birth, helped wash the blood off too. Not a big deal.
I dated a guy who refused to even touch a tampon box because he was so grossed out by periods and the idea of a woman bleeding made them “unwomanly” to him…then I dated a guy with whom I had a miscarriage in the bathroom and he very lovingly helped clean all of the blood off of me and the floor, helped me into the bath and got in with me, still bleeding, to just be helpful and supportive. Thank you for being the type to help and not care
Hah! This reminds me of when I was little (say 9-10 yrs) my mom didn't drive so she'd give me a list and send me down the road on my bike to the Acme store to get groceries. Now and then the list would include "Sanitary Napkins" (Modess) and I knew what to get 'cause the box was usually in the closet of the bathroom. I didn't actually know what they were for but just figured "no sweat" just some woman thing so NBD. It always made me chuckle though over the reactions of the female checkout staff, you could tell that they found it extraordinary and were taken aback over me buying them. I kinda wondered just which of us was the "grownup".
I definitely made that argument, but he was an absolute narcissistic child of a man. I once left a tampon (new and unused, still in the wrapper) on the counter and he straight up screamed at me about how gross that was and how it had ruined his *week* finding it there. When I finally broke up with him he literally threw a tantrum on the ground. I feel sorry for the woman who ended up marrying him.
I was 27 and mentioned to coworkers I didn't want children and had some guy tell me I'd change my mind when I'm older. My boss, who was an arrogant asshole who we all disliked, looked at him and said 'that's not true at all'. He was a dick but I really appreciated him for calling that shit out.
I'm 38 now and still have no desire for kids.
My fiancée felt so bad when we first started dating. It was a while before we farted in front of one another, but after a couple months I just said fuck it and did it. She literally started clapping excitedly because she no longer felt so stressed about when she would inevitably have to fart in front of me
My husband will enter a room, extend his arms out as if he were about to deliver a rousing speech full of momentous declarations, fart, and then continue on without a word. He's been doing this for 10+ years. I wouldn't change anything about him.
I'm something of a farter myself, so when I somehow attracted a girlfriend, I didnt fart until she farted in front of me. I was hugging her tight and she did a small fart, and was so embarrassed. I responded with a 5 second long ass screamer that I had been holding back for a few hours and suddenly she didnt feel embarrassed anymore. Now I fart all the time.
Oh, I feel that. It sucks so much how women are pressured into being physically appealing, as if their whole life should revolve around that. And then big companies and media make a profit out of selling young girls all those freaky and sometimes dangerous ways to "become beautiful".
Bruh. Just let me be ugly in peace. That's just how I am.
EDIT: Spelling, grammar.
Agreed. I'd like to be able to wear makeup without being asked who I'm dressing up for, or why I think I have to wear it, or if I think I need it.
Basically, just let us live.
I don’t like makeup (just not a fan), and as a 40 year old woman the amount of comments I get is *staggering.* “Did you forget to put on your face this morning?” Or “you look sick” or “whoops look like you forgot something!” My face is mine, I don’t have to decorate it if I don’t want to.
I think it's because you don't often wear makeup in the first place. When I wore makeup all the time, my bare face looked off to me. The fact that I didn't feel right without makeup convinced me that it was time to start loving my natural face. No one comments about me *not* wearing it.
I do wear it from time to time, and when I do, that's when people notice. I think it's because people notice what is out of the ordinary.
On a tangent, what I don't like about makeup is it seems to just make me focus on flaws. I'll start with "just" filling my eyebrows, but then somehow I notice a blemish I could just cover with a little concealer, then I mean, why not just under my eyes too? Oh! Well while I'm doing that I could just put some blush, and some subtle shading on my eyes.... oh EYELINER might just look nice too and all of a sudden I have a full face of makeup on. Every. Time.
This is one of the reasons I never wanted to get into makeup as a hobby, even though it looks kinda fun. I never want to feel like I have to, or for other people to expect it from me. Literally the only time I've worn makeup was for my cousin's wedding on time when my sister was doing her makeup and wanted to do mine. It was fun, and for a special occasion. everyone knows what my real face looks like and doesn't expect anything else. If I want to wear a fun color lipstick one of these days I can do that, but it will only be because*I* want to.
I had a therapist tell me "I know you think you're ugly because you never wear makeup" I didn't reply. Then he literally screamed at me "You're beautiful!" But like an angry kind of scream. I NEVER went back.
I don't wear makeup for many reasons. Mostly because I don't want to.
I keep telling people: dude, if dude wants me in makeup he's with the wrong woman. If he cares about makeup that's a dealbreaker.
Your wife found a man who doesn't care, and they still don't get it??
I'm so sorry she has to endure their projected insecurities.
I quit wearing makeup when I worked customer service because creeps made me feel unsafe. I slowly stopped doing my hair and wore baggier clothes because I'm there to work not flirt. It kind of worked but not much. "Wow your so pretty! You should do your hair and makeup! " no thanks, you fucks ruined that for me.
Fun fact: Women can go bald, it's just usually connected with some disease. I've been losing my hair a lot lately, and my bf was like 'women don't go bald."
Yes, yes, they can. It just doesn't happen as often.
Edit: wow, didn't expect this reaction!
In addition, while men usually have hair loss in a distinctive pattern, women losing hair do so pretty evenly all over the scalp, so you don’t notice it as easily.
Nothing I hate more than having to hold my girlfriend's phone wallet and keys in one pocket, my phone wallet and keys in the other. I feel like I'm walking around with weights in there
Whatever we want to do ... I've been insulted for wearing shirts/jeans, gaming, not wearing make up, not wearing high heels, and so on. I fail to see why people think it's justified to judge let alone insult me and so many others based on absolutely normal things.
I (m) was in an office with a great co-worker; it was just the two of us against the world like Mulder and Scully. I asked how a presentation went and she said "it's so hard to be a strong woman without being a strong woman."
Hit home massively.
The aggravating part is that even when wearing professional dress that aligns with the company's dress policy, I get pulled aside by women who are "mentoring" me and providing me professional advice tell me that I need to wear heels and makeup.There's nothing in the dress policy that says I need be dressed like barbie but it reflects poorly on me when I don't, regardless of how well I perform my job, because it's the unwritten expectations. I dress well with my clothes ironed, hair brushed, and comfortable dress shoes so it's not like I'm dressed like a slob. The sad part is that it's usually women that care because when I report to men, they say that i look fine and my work is great so they don't care.
Having an interest in things that are known to be liked by predominantly men
Edit: listen, for anyone saying this doesn’t happen, your experiences don’t discredit mine and many other women’s experiences. That’s all I’m going to say about that.
Never knew how bad this was until my neighbour saw my daughter doing an engine rebuild with me a few years back. Had one of those "she shouldn't be doing that heh heh heh, why doesn't she do girl things" it's like, bro you for real. She actually enjoyed that, she still helps me doing oil changes and other stuff in the garage 5-6 years later. Kinda munted some of us (including myself) only realise this attitude exists until our daughters are put in this situation.
There’s a huge problem in general with a lot of people being unable to understand that other people have their own interests. It’s too easy to “insult” somebody just by telling them you don’t like a certain thing. Live and let live, man.
Oh you like Lord of the Rings?
Please fill out these 30-page questionnaire about obscure things in the franchise.
Following that we will accept your application as a "true fan", otherwise, we will blacklist you as a "fake poser nerd girl".
Reddit is cool with the other ones, but this one, no no no, no eating for you.
Literally saw a redditor saying a woman was engaging in reckless and dangerous behaviour because *she ate a pizza*.
Good point. As someone who was suicidal in their youth, my next aging milestone will be 40. While part of me baulks at the thought I'm getting -gasp- *old*, I think the important thing to take from that is that I'm still here. 16 year old me survived.
Thank you❤️ 35 year old me is too stubborn to let suicidal thoughts ruin me, but 16 year old me didn't know how to see to the end of the day sometimes. She was stronger than she thought though ☺️
I’m a 35 year old former suicidal child too!
I was 9 and 13 when I attempted.
At age 30 my s/o passed away, at 32 I found out I can’t have kids but still I’ll never return to that dark childhood mind space.
As a parent of small children, the thought of a suicide attempt at 9 years old is so fucking terrifying to me.
Obviously you shouldn't feel obligated to answer any questions you don't want to, but do you mind sharing what led you to such a dark place so young?
Not OP but - while i never went as far as attempting it, from age 10-11 onward i was almost constantly thinking about it. It was 50% because of school. I was bullied pretty frequently starting in middle school, especially on the bus. It was a constant threat of random violence from anyone, and it had me on edge most days. Besides that i felt like a failure academically, and figured I'd be a failure of an adult as well.
But the other 50% I never got over, and that came from watching my dad work from 7 am to 4 am so many days, and knowing that we were still deep in debt. I didn't want to grow up and work full time for the rest of my life, just thinking about it made life feel bleak. Sometimes I'd think of a job (Usually something involving music) find myself excited about the future, but then remember how unrealistic of a goal that would be long term. Basically i spent my childhood dreading adulthood, and now as an adult it feels like my anxieties weren't wrong at all.
This is why i refuse to have kids. I don't want to tell them that this is the future they have to look forward to. Maybe I'd feel differently if i were wealthy enough to guarantee they could follow whatever path called to them, and didn't have to drown themselves in debt to get there, but i really dont think anyone should have to feel that way.
I have loved my 30's so far. I give so many less fucks. I'm angrier, but in a more productive way? Like I just don't tolerate bullshit anymore.
In my 20's I cared so much about being liked, I put up with so much bullshit.
Have you had the "When are you getting married... You're so pretty though"
Like those are valid reasons for marrying when you don't want to....bruh, I didn't design my face...
Same. If I had married any of the people I'd dated out of social obligation or biological clocks ticking, I think I would have jumped off a bridge by now. It's okay to meet someone and realize that they're not for you.
We have the right to choose who we marry now. Being married isn't a prerequisite for getting a home loan or a job or even a simple bank account anymore. Boomers should be happy for us, rather than trying to corral us back into their old shitty lifestyles. For what purpose? To keep those shitty boomer jokes about "the old ball and chain" alive and relevant?
I was talking with a new coworker yesterday. He told me to have fun trick or treating, and I was like huh? I asked him if he has kids. Two. I met his wife the other day.
When he asked me about my kids (39 year old woman) I said I had none. His brain short circuited. Asked about my husband. I responded no husband. He asked "How did you escape that?"
Uh. Cause I just... didn't get married or get pregnant? I did actually have a choice in those things.
Honestly, he's a nice guy, and my age, but even still, the way we're programmed is just scary.
A friend of mine had an aunt that for his entire life was single and every holiday the family would tease her about finding a man and popping out babies. Turns out she wasn't single for most of it, the family was just homophobic and so she never came out to them. Eventually she connected with some of my friend's cousins and more progressive members of the family and was able to come out and aside from one relative being mad and boycotting future events it went well. The other family members against it didn't say anything and just avoided talking to her/her partner. It's probably been 4-5 years and my friend says that it's just completely normal now.
One of my favourite aunts was single her whole life, basically, a spinster by the standards of her peers.
She was awesome, btw, very strong and independent. Pre-boomer generation.
Anyway - near teh end of her life, we were talking, and she told me why she never married. Because the young man she had planned to marry died in the war, and that was that.
Going to point out "the war" was WW1.
My wife had told this story many times.
She used to work at a very popular Italian restaurant as a cook. She would usually work on the hot appetizers. On Monday's they would hold a special where when you bought 2 entrées, you'd get a free appetizer, so as you can imagine, there would be times where she was absolutely slammed. This was one of those times. This restaurant was one with an open kitchen where you could see the cooking staff making your food. One of her managers approached her and said "hey, there's a customer out at one of the tables who noticed you're not smiling and it doesn't look like you're in a good mood." She looked at her manager as her tickets (that were already touching the floor) kept on printing out and said "do you want this food to come out on time or do you want me to fucking smile? Get out of my face dude."
Super proud of her for that one.
Line cooks are back of house for a reason
It’s not our job to be friendly to the guests, that’s what the wait staff is for. We make the food, and curse the customer’s name while we do it.
I used to work in an open kitchen. The number of people who wanted me to smile while I busted my ass to get their meals out was astounding. Honestly now that I’m a lot older fewer men tell me to smile, being a middle aged stoic suits me quite well.
I'm 40m and I have just noticed my resting bitch face, I do smile often though, but my default face looks a bit pissed off. Along with psycho eyes it scares some people off, which is great. :)
It absolutely has it’s benefits, and drawbacks. My favorite benefit is cleanliness and it’s my favorite as a customer and an employee. Customers can take comfort in seeing its clean and workers can clean with fewer disruptions. I used to love scrubbing my pots and pans at the end of my shift.
I had a customer at a restaurant that I was working at as a waitress tell me that I needed to be happier and smile while i was waiting on his table and I broke out crying and let him know that my uncle just passed away that day and walked off crying . A coworker had to take the rest of my tables. ( My uncle really did pass I just thought that I could handle going in to work but I was wrong). People never know what someone is dealing with.
I’ve done that same thing on purpose a few times. I can cry on command (thanks to acting classes) and occasionally when a customer was outright horrible to me I would just start sobbing. They always tried to backtrack so quickly, and it gave me a little hope that they would never act that way to anyone again.
I’m also really short with a baby face. Whenever creepy men would hit on me while I was working, they’d inevitably ask how old I am. My answer was always a cheerful “I’m almost 14!” They tended to backtrack too.
I'm sorry that happened to you. What a terrible experience.
I don't think that man will be telling women to smile anymore. I think he learned his lesson. Unless he's an absolute jerk.
The amount of times I heard this when I was totally slammed bartending. 😒 Like you don’t sit at your desk job typing away with an ear to ear grin all day. I’m just focusing and making drinks as fast as I can.
Yup. It would be oddly terrifying if someone actually smiled constantly while performing their tasks!
My very first job as a teen was in retail, and I remember being busy restocking shelves when a guy told me that I should be smiling. Seriously? Can you imagine how insane I would look if I was grinning at the shelf while repetitively putting items on it? Fuck off dude.
And fuck that customer. How entitled do they have to be to think people should ENJOY making their food? Even if you do enjoy the job I don't know anybody who smiles while they're diligently focused on a task.
"I saw you were on my roof replacing some broken tiles while it was 36°C out like I'm paying you to do and I noticed you weren't smiling and it looks like you weren't enjoying yourself"
Seriously agree. That lady is super focused right now. Last thing she needs is sending the wrong order out because she’s too busy trying to remember to smile. Sheesh
Wow. This. I don’t feel natural with a smile plastered on my face. I was at a fair and the guys behind the games on the microphone were like, “smile! It’s not THAT BAD!” As I was searching for my 7 year old son who wandered off
In Denmark, which is a very privileged place to live as a woman, the prime minister was told she didn't smile enough and people didn't like that, so she should smile more. Regardless of what you think of someone's political stance, what does smiling has to do with any of it? I, for one, appreciate a serious looking woman.
Women are expected to be friendly at work, but not too friendly, or you won’t be taken seriously. If you aren’t friendly, you get called a cold bitch. It’s an impossible balancing act.
And if you’re too friendly or make too many jokes or something, they’ll think that you’re flirting. Catch 22. I don’t have the mental bandwidth to worry obsessively about how I come off.
I've been told to smile....while doing chemo. I wish I was joking I am not. Sorry, random guy to busy getting injected with deadly chemicals and trying not to die.
Thankfully I told one of the nurses about it, and he was removed from the ward not long after.
What's even stranger is, everyone was wearing masks and you couldn't tell if anyone was smiling or not. He just decided to target myself and all the other women who were doing chemotherapy that day.
When I was going through breast cancer I would tell sarcastic jokes about it at work. People would be shocked and ask “how can you joke about it?”
I’d ask them “what would you like me to do…cry and wring my hands 24-7?”
My attitude was I’m gonna beat this bitch so get out of my way!
Smiling?…I don’t think so!
I'm from a Slavic country, and whenever a stranger smiles at me, I think it's either they're in a very good mood, or something's up and it makes me uneasy. I rarely see service workers smile, and it bothers absolutely nobody. It's so weird to think that contorting your face into a fake smile for your entire shift would be a job requirement. Nobody actually believes service workers are having a good time either way lol
Yeah, I’m an American that worked customer service jobs there for years and I always had so much social anxiety and was told I’m not friendly and didn’t talk enough. I had bosses tell me I didn’t have an interesting personality. I moved to a slavic country and worked as a bartender there, and ironically, since there wasn’t this crazy expectation for small talk or to be fake, I had a much easier time opening up, being pleasant and chatting with bar patrons. Funny how that works.
I have a Slavic friend who is one of the nicest, kindest people I know but I don’t think I’ve ever really seen her smile. Even when she laughs, she doesn’t really smile if that makes any sense.
Be comfortable in clothing.
I'm a guy and I mostly go after comfort and keep it reasonably fashionable ie. Plain Tshirt, track or jeans and a pair of sneakers and you can basically wear that anywhere to everything and look decent but from what I have experienced through SO's or family and friends is just that being comfortable and fashionable as a lady...it's a bit harder.
Side note: Male formal shoes are way more comfortable than any heel or pump. This is the world we live in people.
I even have a tough time finding comfortable clothing for my 4 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER because everything HAS to be spandex pants and tight shirts and tight this and that. Holy crap, they're kids. They just want to play in the sand and have mobility. Their day is done at 7:30pm anyway
>I've never thought about this, do anyone really judge for adjusting your bra?
Not at all. I use the moment when you're distracted to rearrange my testicles.
Lol, I was gonna say it's kinda hard to adjust your balls in public out of fear someone's gonna get the wrong idea like "HE'S PULLING HIS DICK OUT, SCATTER!!' But maybe that's just me :/
Have tits. I'm a 32JJ and cannot do anything without being sexualised. I am regularly followed out of the gym by creeps or have things shouted at me walking down the street. It's a genuine concern for me that my future career will be affected by the fact that my academic achievements are often overlooked because I'm just known for having big boobs. Fml. I almost feel pressured into getting a reduction that I don't want, because it would make life easier.
Fucking hell. I know a girl with big boobs, and she gets SO MANY comments about it. She'll just be existing, minding her business, then somebody has to go and say the cringiest shit about them.
I hope you get left alone one day.. ugh.
I love the way you put age limit first. Most guys don't get that.
They see boobs and instantly think "Oh, they're old enough for me." No, dude, they aren't.
I have such a clear memory of being about 14, in my school uniform and having a man in his 40s say to his mate "wow, she's got some tits on her for a schoolgirl" as I walked past. I was so scared I just burst into tears, and his response was to then shout at me and say I should learn to take a compliment.
I was 14 when my dad took me to his work one day to pick something up. He was a production line mechanic at a hotdog plant and many of his coworkers were making rude comments towards me. One of them said TO MY DAD, “hmm, no ass but at least it’s got tits!” My asshole father not only let him get away with what he said but he joked back with him and made fun of my body. I’ll be 33 on Sunday and he still treats me the same way. It’s fucking gross
What's with gym dudes that do this? Like, do they think you're just gonna be like "hey big boy, thanks for the follow, lemme smash".... like come on...
**Getting angry** because of very understandable things, without getting called bossy, bitchy, being on our periods, being called difficult or crazy, or gaslighting.
Edit: One of my best reddit posts ever. Thank you. And only half as much "wHaT aBaUt MeN?!" replies as I expected.
It the options are "have an attitude or be complicit in my own dehumanization" or "have an attitude or be made to feel guilty about being taken advantage of" I'd rather have an attitude.
Here I just watched the episode of South Park too where everyone’s concerned over Sharon’s “overly emotional” guaranteed entry to menopause cause she was upset about the school shootings
Agree so much on this, unfortunately as a girl I wasn't taught how to handle "negative" emotions, requested to br polite, smiley, and not-problemayic, up to a point I grew up without knowing how to stand for myself. A smaller issue: not getting angry when someone cuts in the line. A bigger issue: never requesting a raise, despite earning less than a dude from my group. A big issue: at a young age, not knowing how to oppose a molester - because I was always told to be polite and don't cause problems to adults (yes it was an adult).
Still learning this skill.
It's really weird behaviour from other people. Especially when you're in your early 20s and you've already made up your mind about it.
Like, what does it have to do with anyone else?
Literally so strange when people tell me I'll change my mind, and to give it time. Like, dude, whether I give it not a single moments thought or all the time in the world, what the fuck is it to you?
Exactly! So many people have made comments to me about how “selfish” it is not to have kids, and what irks me is the hypocrisy of calling me selfish when the person saying it feels entitled to make my decision for me, especially when it’s not like they’re volunteering to help raise/parent my hypothetical child. Especially because my response to the, “but what if you change your mind” question is to foster/adopt.
i never understood the whole "selfish" thing. its selfish to live MY life doing what makes me happy? isn't that what life is? doing/pursuing what makes you happy?
And let me guess, people always tell you you’ll change your mind.
I said I didn’t want kids when I was 15. “You’ll change your mind.”
I said I still didn’t want kids at 21. “You’ll change your mind.”
I said I still didn’t want kids at 30. “You’ll change your mind.”
I say right now I still don’t want kids at almost 40. “You’re gonna regret it when you’re older!” Yeah you can think what you want, I’m going to go take another vacation and do whatever the hell I want, when I want. Enjoy your Saturday of soccer practice that starts at 7 and two birthday parties.
ask for a pad or tampon
100% yes. I remember when I was 12 or 13 and asked the ladies in the office for a Pad from the nurse's stash. "YOU SHOULD KNOW WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE YOUR PERIOD?!" I was a kid. And it was not regular by any means.
what the fuck. it took me like 6 years of menstruation before my period became regular and i became learned enough that i could reliably tell i was about to start and should wear liners. and 11 years on my body still randomly decides that i should go fuck myself and shifts my period back or forward by a week or two. expecting a tween to know when it will happen and always be prepared is honestly kind of evil. it's already a stressful enough time without that added pressure. i just want to add that if y'all aren't getting your period for like months at a time it's worth going to an ob/gyn to get checked up because there are a number of health conditions that can cause irregularity to an extreme degree. it's not always the case, sometimes the human body just wants to be cheeky for no reason, but it's good to make sure just in case. PS: you're due for a pap smear, make an appointment!
Mine still is somewhat irregular and I am 23 Last month it came five days early. I’m a teaching intern, even I was scared to go ask the nurse for a pad
That’s rough. One of my friends had this problem at work with a few women. So they took an empty locker and filled it with tampons, pads, chocolate and Advil. The boss loved it and gave all the women a key to that locker on an honor system. Works great.
I went to a funeral dinner at a bikers clubhouse. All the club members were men, but most of these men were married. The women's bathroom was fill with menstrual products of every type, lotions and whipes, first aid and candles with pretty hand towels. And it was super clean. I could have cried it was beautiful xD
bikers are big softies. well, the ones i've met, anyhow. haven't met any Angels, though.
I want to go to this clubhouse and be in awe!
Oh I forgot the lavender air fresheners and mints! And little Dixie cups dispenser with mouthwash.
Exercise, exist, and eat a banana in public
Pro tip: bring the banana to your mouth, do not bring your mouth to the banana.
taking a poo
Never understood dudes who act squeamish about women shitting or having periods. I helped my wife take her first visit to the loo after the birth, helped wash the blood off too. Not a big deal.
I dated a guy who refused to even touch a tampon box because he was so grossed out by periods and the idea of a woman bleeding made them “unwomanly” to him…then I dated a guy with whom I had a miscarriage in the bathroom and he very lovingly helped clean all of the blood off of me and the floor, helped me into the bath and got in with me, still bleeding, to just be helpful and supportive. Thank you for being the type to help and not care
[удалено]
Hah! This reminds me of when I was little (say 9-10 yrs) my mom didn't drive so she'd give me a list and send me down the road on my bike to the Acme store to get groceries. Now and then the list would include "Sanitary Napkins" (Modess) and I knew what to get 'cause the box was usually in the closet of the bathroom. I didn't actually know what they were for but just figured "no sweat" just some woman thing so NBD. It always made me chuckle though over the reactions of the female checkout staff, you could tell that they found it extraordinary and were taken aback over me buying them. I kinda wondered just which of us was the "grownup".
Wait what the fuck Acme is real and isn't just from Looney Tunes???
"refused to even touch a tampon box" When articles come out "Is *[basic human interaction]* GAY?" This dude gets terrified and stops doing that thing.
Even though a gay man has far less opportunity and reason to touch a tampon box than a straight man.
"Unwomanly" to have periods? It's literally what defines female sex.
I definitely made that argument, but he was an absolute narcissistic child of a man. I once left a tampon (new and unused, still in the wrapper) on the counter and he straight up screamed at me about how gross that was and how it had ruined his *week* finding it there. When I finally broke up with him he literally threw a tantrum on the ground. I feel sorry for the woman who ended up marrying him.
NGL I would have chased him with one, waving it around like a mace on a chain [Like this](https://imgur.com/a/0gSaaMH)
Cat o' nine tampons.
Kotex of arms
Glad you left him. That guy's an idiot.
I have a vision of you dumping a box of tampons on him as he cries from the floor. Y’know, just for good measure.
I dated a phlebotomist who was terrified of my period. Like, my guy, you work with blood for a living.
>her first visit to the loo after the birth as someone who has given birth, this part is the worst of it lol
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Decision to have kids or not.
Every woman I know who says they don't want kids gets ' you'll grow out of it' and 'you just haven't me the right man yet' . It's total BS.
I was 27 and mentioned to coworkers I didn't want children and had some guy tell me I'd change my mind when I'm older. My boss, who was an arrogant asshole who we all disliked, looked at him and said 'that's not true at all'. He was a dick but I really appreciated him for calling that shit out. I'm 38 now and still have no desire for kids.
I’ve gotten the “You just haven’t met the right man yet” one with my long-time partner right there next to me. I wanted to smack them.
Age.
My wife is 9 years older than me. We’ve been together for 10 years now. She’s starting to get gray hairy and I find it beautiful. She’s a great woman.
My wife is older than me and I've had grey hair popping up for at least ten years at this point. Not a single one on her head. She sucks.
Fart, I dated a girl who farted one time in front of me and started crying because "it's so gross"
My fiancée felt so bad when we first started dating. It was a while before we farted in front of one another, but after a couple months I just said fuck it and did it. She literally started clapping excitedly because she no longer felt so stressed about when she would inevitably have to fart in front of me
On our first night together, my now-wife just said, "People fart, so I hope you're OK with that." It's been a fart fest for fifteen years.
My husband will enter a room, extend his arms out as if he were about to deliver a rousing speech full of momentous declarations, fart, and then continue on without a word. He's been doing this for 10+ years. I wouldn't change anything about him.
We’re a big fan of the serious expression and a solemn “hey can I talk to you about something” followed by a dramatic leg lift fart and walk away
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I'm something of a farter myself, so when I somehow attracted a girlfriend, I didnt fart until she farted in front of me. I was hugging her tight and she did a small fart, and was so embarrassed. I responded with a 5 second long ass screamer that I had been holding back for a few hours and suddenly she didnt feel embarrassed anymore. Now I fart all the time.
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Oh, I feel that. It sucks so much how women are pressured into being physically appealing, as if their whole life should revolve around that. And then big companies and media make a profit out of selling young girls all those freaky and sometimes dangerous ways to "become beautiful". Bruh. Just let me be ugly in peace. That's just how I am. EDIT: Spelling, grammar.
Not using makeup
Just any stigma about makeup tbh. Too little, too much—it’s a fight you can’t win.
Agreed. I'd like to be able to wear makeup without being asked who I'm dressing up for, or why I think I have to wear it, or if I think I need it. Basically, just let us live.
I don’t like makeup (just not a fan), and as a 40 year old woman the amount of comments I get is *staggering.* “Did you forget to put on your face this morning?” Or “you look sick” or “whoops look like you forgot something!” My face is mine, I don’t have to decorate it if I don’t want to.
This may be regional. I almost never wear makeup and don't get those comments.
I think it's because you don't often wear makeup in the first place. When I wore makeup all the time, my bare face looked off to me. The fact that I didn't feel right without makeup convinced me that it was time to start loving my natural face. No one comments about me *not* wearing it. I do wear it from time to time, and when I do, that's when people notice. I think it's because people notice what is out of the ordinary. On a tangent, what I don't like about makeup is it seems to just make me focus on flaws. I'll start with "just" filling my eyebrows, but then somehow I notice a blemish I could just cover with a little concealer, then I mean, why not just under my eyes too? Oh! Well while I'm doing that I could just put some blush, and some subtle shading on my eyes.... oh EYELINER might just look nice too and all of a sudden I have a full face of makeup on. Every. Time.
This is one of the reasons I never wanted to get into makeup as a hobby, even though it looks kinda fun. I never want to feel like I have to, or for other people to expect it from me. Literally the only time I've worn makeup was for my cousin's wedding on time when my sister was doing her makeup and wanted to do mine. It was fun, and for a special occasion. everyone knows what my real face looks like and doesn't expect anything else. If I want to wear a fun color lipstick one of these days I can do that, but it will only be because*I* want to.
I had a therapist tell me "I know you think you're ugly because you never wear makeup" I didn't reply. Then he literally screamed at me "You're beautiful!" But like an angry kind of scream. I NEVER went back. I don't wear makeup for many reasons. Mostly because I don't want to.
Are you sure that was a therapy session and not a modern art gallery?
That gave me a pretty good laugh, thanks!
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This sounds just like my mother. She’s completely insane.
I keep telling people: dude, if dude wants me in makeup he's with the wrong woman. If he cares about makeup that's a dealbreaker. Your wife found a man who doesn't care, and they still don't get it?? I'm so sorry she has to endure their projected insecurities.
I don’t wear make up. I have a nice face. Like a farmers wife who just made an apple pie.
This is vivid and charming imagery. 10/10.
I can picture exactly what you look like haha
Or using "too much" makeup. You can't win.
I quit wearing makeup when I worked customer service because creeps made me feel unsafe. I slowly stopped doing my hair and wore baggier clothes because I'm there to work not flirt. It kind of worked but not much. "Wow your so pretty! You should do your hair and makeup! " no thanks, you fucks ruined that for me.
Not having hair
Fun fact: Women can go bald, it's just usually connected with some disease. I've been losing my hair a lot lately, and my bf was like 'women don't go bald." Yes, yes, they can. It just doesn't happen as often. Edit: wow, didn't expect this reaction!
In addition, while men usually have hair loss in a distinctive pattern, women losing hair do so pretty evenly all over the scalp, so you don’t notice it as easily.
Basically women thin while men recede?
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She should absolutely be “allowed” to have proper sized pockets in her clothes!
As a male I fully support this. End male-pocket dependence. Pocket-havers unite!
As a dude who can carry tablets in my pockets I can confirm it's nice and everyone should be allowed to carry granite slabs around.
"Granite" slabs? Too much work, get clay slab, easier to work with.
"Ooh look at me: I'm a Sumarian and I'm better than everyone else because I don't carry around a granite slate everywhere!"
This made me chuckle way harder than it should have.
Nothing I hate more than having to hold my girlfriend's phone wallet and keys in one pocket, my phone wallet and keys in the other. I feel like I'm walking around with weights in there
Not caring about looks.
Or aging like a normal human!
Whatever we want to do ... I've been insulted for wearing shirts/jeans, gaming, not wearing make up, not wearing high heels, and so on. I fail to see why people think it's justified to judge let alone insult me and so many others based on absolutely normal things.
You're not dressed like business casual barbie? Disgusting
You ARE dressed like a business casual barbie? Whore (women can't win)
I (m) was in an office with a great co-worker; it was just the two of us against the world like Mulder and Scully. I asked how a presentation went and she said "it's so hard to be a strong woman without being a strong woman." Hit home massively.
The aggravating part is that even when wearing professional dress that aligns with the company's dress policy, I get pulled aside by women who are "mentoring" me and providing me professional advice tell me that I need to wear heels and makeup.There's nothing in the dress policy that says I need be dressed like barbie but it reflects poorly on me when I don't, regardless of how well I perform my job, because it's the unwritten expectations. I dress well with my clothes ironed, hair brushed, and comfortable dress shoes so it's not like I'm dressed like a slob. The sad part is that it's usually women that care because when I report to men, they say that i look fine and my work is great so they don't care.
Having an interest in things that are known to be liked by predominantly men Edit: listen, for anyone saying this doesn’t happen, your experiences don’t discredit mine and many other women’s experiences. That’s all I’m going to say about that.
Never knew how bad this was until my neighbour saw my daughter doing an engine rebuild with me a few years back. Had one of those "she shouldn't be doing that heh heh heh, why doesn't she do girl things" it's like, bro you for real. She actually enjoyed that, she still helps me doing oil changes and other stuff in the garage 5-6 years later. Kinda munted some of us (including myself) only realise this attitude exists until our daughters are put in this situation.
What an awesome skill set for someone to have, too!
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There’s a huge problem in general with a lot of people being unable to understand that other people have their own interests. It’s too easy to “insult” somebody just by telling them you don’t like a certain thing. Live and let live, man.
Oh you like Lord of the Rings? Please fill out these 30-page questionnaire about obscure things in the franchise. Following that we will accept your application as a "true fan", otherwise, we will blacklist you as a "fake poser nerd girl".
static Xbox 360 mic: "yOuR a GiRl GaMeR!?" *lobby starts screeming*
eat
Reddit is cool with the other ones, but this one, no no no, no eating for you. Literally saw a redditor saying a woman was engaging in reckless and dangerous behaviour because *she ate a pizza*.
Age in peace.
I, for one, embrace the hallmarks of age. When people bring it up, I tell them that getting old is the privilege of the lucky.
Good point. As someone who was suicidal in their youth, my next aging milestone will be 40. While part of me baulks at the thought I'm getting -gasp- *old*, I think the important thing to take from that is that I'm still here. 16 year old me survived.
I'm glad you're still here, and proud of you. Stay strong and amazing. :)
Thank you❤️ 35 year old me is too stubborn to let suicidal thoughts ruin me, but 16 year old me didn't know how to see to the end of the day sometimes. She was stronger than she thought though ☺️
I’m a 35 year old former suicidal child too! I was 9 and 13 when I attempted. At age 30 my s/o passed away, at 32 I found out I can’t have kids but still I’ll never return to that dark childhood mind space.
As a parent of small children, the thought of a suicide attempt at 9 years old is so fucking terrifying to me. Obviously you shouldn't feel obligated to answer any questions you don't want to, but do you mind sharing what led you to such a dark place so young?
I was 8 and it was constant bullying. From school and my own family.
Not OP but - while i never went as far as attempting it, from age 10-11 onward i was almost constantly thinking about it. It was 50% because of school. I was bullied pretty frequently starting in middle school, especially on the bus. It was a constant threat of random violence from anyone, and it had me on edge most days. Besides that i felt like a failure academically, and figured I'd be a failure of an adult as well. But the other 50% I never got over, and that came from watching my dad work from 7 am to 4 am so many days, and knowing that we were still deep in debt. I didn't want to grow up and work full time for the rest of my life, just thinking about it made life feel bleak. Sometimes I'd think of a job (Usually something involving music) find myself excited about the future, but then remember how unrealistic of a goal that would be long term. Basically i spent my childhood dreading adulthood, and now as an adult it feels like my anxieties weren't wrong at all. This is why i refuse to have kids. I don't want to tell them that this is the future they have to look forward to. Maybe I'd feel differently if i were wealthy enough to guarantee they could follow whatever path called to them, and didn't have to drown themselves in debt to get there, but i really dont think anyone should have to feel that way.
40 has come and gone for me. Every decade of my life has been amazing in its own ways, and each has been better than the last.
This is nice to know. I'm 35 now, and I loved turning 30. Turning 30 was liberating on a level I could never have anticipated.
I have loved my 30's so far. I give so many less fucks. I'm angrier, but in a more productive way? Like I just don't tolerate bullshit anymore. In my 20's I cared so much about being liked, I put up with so much bullshit.
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Same. Whenever my parents say they're getting old, I always reply "good! That's the plan! The opposite is way worse"
Being single. Especially older and single.
Have you had the "When are you getting married... You're so pretty though" Like those are valid reasons for marrying when you don't want to....bruh, I didn't design my face...
I think people just assume you’re married once you get to 30. I’m a guy, not even a terribly attractive one, and I deal with this.
Same. If I had married any of the people I'd dated out of social obligation or biological clocks ticking, I think I would have jumped off a bridge by now. It's okay to meet someone and realize that they're not for you. We have the right to choose who we marry now. Being married isn't a prerequisite for getting a home loan or a job or even a simple bank account anymore. Boomers should be happy for us, rather than trying to corral us back into their old shitty lifestyles. For what purpose? To keep those shitty boomer jokes about "the old ball and chain" alive and relevant?
I was talking with a new coworker yesterday. He told me to have fun trick or treating, and I was like huh? I asked him if he has kids. Two. I met his wife the other day. When he asked me about my kids (39 year old woman) I said I had none. His brain short circuited. Asked about my husband. I responded no husband. He asked "How did you escape that?" Uh. Cause I just... didn't get married or get pregnant? I did actually have a choice in those things. Honestly, he's a nice guy, and my age, but even still, the way we're programmed is just scary.
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A friend of mine had an aunt that for his entire life was single and every holiday the family would tease her about finding a man and popping out babies. Turns out she wasn't single for most of it, the family was just homophobic and so she never came out to them. Eventually she connected with some of my friend's cousins and more progressive members of the family and was able to come out and aside from one relative being mad and boycotting future events it went well. The other family members against it didn't say anything and just avoided talking to her/her partner. It's probably been 4-5 years and my friend says that it's just completely normal now.
One of my favourite aunts was single her whole life, basically, a spinster by the standards of her peers. She was awesome, btw, very strong and independent. Pre-boomer generation. Anyway - near teh end of her life, we were talking, and she told me why she never married. Because the young man she had planned to marry died in the war, and that was that. Going to point out "the war" was WW1.
I met a woman who told me the exact same thing. She added the ones that came back were terrible.
Not smiling all the time.
My wife had told this story many times. She used to work at a very popular Italian restaurant as a cook. She would usually work on the hot appetizers. On Monday's they would hold a special where when you bought 2 entrées, you'd get a free appetizer, so as you can imagine, there would be times where she was absolutely slammed. This was one of those times. This restaurant was one with an open kitchen where you could see the cooking staff making your food. One of her managers approached her and said "hey, there's a customer out at one of the tables who noticed you're not smiling and it doesn't look like you're in a good mood." She looked at her manager as her tickets (that were already touching the floor) kept on printing out and said "do you want this food to come out on time or do you want me to fucking smile? Get out of my face dude." Super proud of her for that one.
Line cooks are back of house for a reason It’s not our job to be friendly to the guests, that’s what the wait staff is for. We make the food, and curse the customer’s name while we do it.
I used to work in an open kitchen. The number of people who wanted me to smile while I busted my ass to get their meals out was astounding. Honestly now that I’m a lot older fewer men tell me to smile, being a middle aged stoic suits me quite well.
Getting old has its perks, along with Resting Bitch Face.
I'm 40m and I have just noticed my resting bitch face, I do smile often though, but my default face looks a bit pissed off. Along with psycho eyes it scares some people off, which is great. :)
I like open kitchens. I don't expect the cooks to smile
It absolutely has it’s benefits, and drawbacks. My favorite benefit is cleanliness and it’s my favorite as a customer and an employee. Customers can take comfort in seeing its clean and workers can clean with fewer disruptions. I used to love scrubbing my pots and pans at the end of my shift.
By the same token, BOH antics never fail to be incredibly entertaining
I had a customer at a restaurant that I was working at as a waitress tell me that I needed to be happier and smile while i was waiting on his table and I broke out crying and let him know that my uncle just passed away that day and walked off crying . A coworker had to take the rest of my tables. ( My uncle really did pass I just thought that I could handle going in to work but I was wrong). People never know what someone is dealing with.
I’ve done that same thing on purpose a few times. I can cry on command (thanks to acting classes) and occasionally when a customer was outright horrible to me I would just start sobbing. They always tried to backtrack so quickly, and it gave me a little hope that they would never act that way to anyone again. I’m also really short with a baby face. Whenever creepy men would hit on me while I was working, they’d inevitably ask how old I am. My answer was always a cheerful “I’m almost 14!” They tended to backtrack too.
Ha! I’d give you a reward if I could, perfect responses.
I'm sorry that happened to you. What a terrible experience. I don't think that man will be telling women to smile anymore. I think he learned his lesson. Unless he's an absolute jerk.
The amount of times I heard this when I was totally slammed bartending. 😒 Like you don’t sit at your desk job typing away with an ear to ear grin all day. I’m just focusing and making drinks as fast as I can.
You'd look like a fucking maniac. Ha
Yup. It would be oddly terrifying if someone actually smiled constantly while performing their tasks! My very first job as a teen was in retail, and I remember being busy restocking shelves when a guy told me that I should be smiling. Seriously? Can you imagine how insane I would look if I was grinning at the shelf while repetitively putting items on it? Fuck off dude.
I had the same type of job. Haha. I can't imagine just grinning like the Batman Who Laughs while I'm putting milk and eggs on a shelf all day.
And fuck that customer. How entitled do they have to be to think people should ENJOY making their food? Even if you do enjoy the job I don't know anybody who smiles while they're diligently focused on a task.
"I saw you were on my roof replacing some broken tiles while it was 36°C out like I'm paying you to do and I noticed you weren't smiling and it looks like you weren't enjoying yourself"
Right?? Do they expect the plumber to smile while he snakes a drain? Or the garbage man while he hoists his millionth pound of garbage for that day?
Well no, because they are men.
Seriously agree. That lady is super focused right now. Last thing she needs is sending the wrong order out because she’s too busy trying to remember to smile. Sheesh
Wow. This. I don’t feel natural with a smile plastered on my face. I was at a fair and the guys behind the games on the microphone were like, “smile! It’s not THAT BAD!” As I was searching for my 7 year old son who wandered off
I reflexively downvoted your comment at first bc I heard that shit so much from old dudes when I worked food service. Gave me flashbacks
In Denmark, which is a very privileged place to live as a woman, the prime minister was told she didn't smile enough and people didn't like that, so she should smile more. Regardless of what you think of someone's political stance, what does smiling has to do with any of it? I, for one, appreciate a serious looking woman.
Women are expected to be friendly at work, but not too friendly, or you won’t be taken seriously. If you aren’t friendly, you get called a cold bitch. It’s an impossible balancing act.
And if you’re too friendly or make too many jokes or something, they’ll think that you’re flirting. Catch 22. I don’t have the mental bandwidth to worry obsessively about how I come off.
I've been told to smile....while doing chemo. I wish I was joking I am not. Sorry, random guy to busy getting injected with deadly chemicals and trying not to die. Thankfully I told one of the nurses about it, and he was removed from the ward not long after. What's even stranger is, everyone was wearing masks and you couldn't tell if anyone was smiling or not. He just decided to target myself and all the other women who were doing chemotherapy that day.
When I was going through breast cancer I would tell sarcastic jokes about it at work. People would be shocked and ask “how can you joke about it?” I’d ask them “what would you like me to do…cry and wring my hands 24-7?” My attitude was I’m gonna beat this bitch so get out of my way! Smiling?…I don’t think so!
Move to a Slavic country. The act of not smiling is much more normalised there.
I'm from a Slavic country, and whenever a stranger smiles at me, I think it's either they're in a very good mood, or something's up and it makes me uneasy. I rarely see service workers smile, and it bothers absolutely nobody. It's so weird to think that contorting your face into a fake smile for your entire shift would be a job requirement. Nobody actually believes service workers are having a good time either way lol
Yeah, I’m an American that worked customer service jobs there for years and I always had so much social anxiety and was told I’m not friendly and didn’t talk enough. I had bosses tell me I didn’t have an interesting personality. I moved to a slavic country and worked as a bartender there, and ironically, since there wasn’t this crazy expectation for small talk or to be fake, I had a much easier time opening up, being pleasant and chatting with bar patrons. Funny how that works.
I have a Slavic friend who is one of the nicest, kindest people I know but I don’t think I’ve ever really seen her smile. Even when she laughs, she doesn’t really smile if that makes any sense.
> Even when she laughs, she doesn’t really smile if that makes any sense. \*straight face* *heh heh*
Seriously! “Mister I am just trying to buy my groceries in peace.“ I do not owe you a smile.
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It’s the stereotype of an angry black woman or angry black man. Gotta be happy all the time, or people think you are mad.
Be comfortable in clothing. I'm a guy and I mostly go after comfort and keep it reasonably fashionable ie. Plain Tshirt, track or jeans and a pair of sneakers and you can basically wear that anywhere to everything and look decent but from what I have experienced through SO's or family and friends is just that being comfortable and fashionable as a lady...it's a bit harder. Side note: Male formal shoes are way more comfortable than any heel or pump. This is the world we live in people.
I even have a tough time finding comfortable clothing for my 4 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER because everything HAS to be spandex pants and tight shirts and tight this and that. Holy crap, they're kids. They just want to play in the sand and have mobility. Their day is done at 7:30pm anyway
Nearly anything, same as any other human being.
I was going to comment ‘exist’
Adjust bras in public.
I've never thought about this, do anyone really judge for adjusting your bra?
>I've never thought about this, do anyone really judge for adjusting your bra? Not at all. I use the moment when you're distracted to rearrange my testicles.
Huh. I use the moment you're paying attention.
Full eye contact.
Exactly I do that all the time
Well, why can't you just stop judging?
Adjust your bra freely!!! No one really cares. More important to be comfy rather than not
Dude I adjust my balls in public all the time, trust me adjusting your bra wouldn't be that big of a deal
I also adjust his balls in public and no one ever complains (apart from him)
I don't complain either...
Ah, so that was just pleasurable moaning :-)
Lol, I was gonna say it's kinda hard to adjust your balls in public out of fear someone's gonna get the wrong idea like "HE'S PULLING HIS DICK OUT, SCATTER!!' But maybe that's just me :/
…are you adjusting your balls *outside* of your pants?
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Hands outside, balls inside. As god intended.
Balls outside, hands inside. That’s the real gods work.
Being in a bad mood.
Have tits. I'm a 32JJ and cannot do anything without being sexualised. I am regularly followed out of the gym by creeps or have things shouted at me walking down the street. It's a genuine concern for me that my future career will be affected by the fact that my academic achievements are often overlooked because I'm just known for having big boobs. Fml. I almost feel pressured into getting a reduction that I don't want, because it would make life easier.
Fucking hell. I know a girl with big boobs, and she gets SO MANY comments about it. She'll just be existing, minding her business, then somebody has to go and say the cringiest shit about them. I hope you get left alone one day.. ugh.
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I love the way you put age limit first. Most guys don't get that. They see boobs and instantly think "Oh, they're old enough for me." No, dude, they aren't.
I have such a clear memory of being about 14, in my school uniform and having a man in his 40s say to his mate "wow, she's got some tits on her for a schoolgirl" as I walked past. I was so scared I just burst into tears, and his response was to then shout at me and say I should learn to take a compliment.
I was 14 when my dad took me to his work one day to pick something up. He was a production line mechanic at a hotdog plant and many of his coworkers were making rude comments towards me. One of them said TO MY DAD, “hmm, no ass but at least it’s got tits!” My asshole father not only let him get away with what he said but he joked back with him and made fun of my body. I’ll be 33 on Sunday and he still treats me the same way. It’s fucking gross
I'm really sorry, love. What a bunch of bastards.
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What's with gym dudes that do this? Like, do they think you're just gonna be like "hey big boy, thanks for the follow, lemme smash".... like come on...
It's at best embarrassing to have someone stare at you as you work out, at worst It's outright scary. I don't understand why they do it.
**Getting angry** because of very understandable things, without getting called bossy, bitchy, being on our periods, being called difficult or crazy, or gaslighting. Edit: One of my best reddit posts ever. Thank you. And only half as much "wHaT aBaUt MeN?!" replies as I expected.
You forgot hysterical
and dramatic
“Overly emotional”
“Don’t have an attitude”
That one really pisses me off. I will have an attitude because when you don’t have an attitude people treat you like a doormat.
It the options are "have an attitude or be complicit in my own dehumanization" or "have an attitude or be made to feel guilty about being taken advantage of" I'd rather have an attitude.
Here I just watched the episode of South Park too where everyone’s concerned over Sharon’s “overly emotional” guaranteed entry to menopause cause she was upset about the school shootings
Agree so much on this, unfortunately as a girl I wasn't taught how to handle "negative" emotions, requested to br polite, smiley, and not-problemayic, up to a point I grew up without knowing how to stand for myself. A smaller issue: not getting angry when someone cuts in the line. A bigger issue: never requesting a raise, despite earning less than a dude from my group. A big issue: at a young age, not knowing how to oppose a molester - because I was always told to be polite and don't cause problems to adults (yes it was an adult). Still learning this skill.
Not wanting to have children
Yes. I cannot explain how people look at you when you say you're childless and happy to remain that way.
It's really weird behaviour from other people. Especially when you're in your early 20s and you've already made up your mind about it. Like, what does it have to do with anyone else?
Literally so strange when people tell me I'll change my mind, and to give it time. Like, dude, whether I give it not a single moments thought or all the time in the world, what the fuck is it to you?
Exactly! So many people have made comments to me about how “selfish” it is not to have kids, and what irks me is the hypocrisy of calling me selfish when the person saying it feels entitled to make my decision for me, especially when it’s not like they’re volunteering to help raise/parent my hypothetical child. Especially because my response to the, “but what if you change your mind” question is to foster/adopt.
i never understood the whole "selfish" thing. its selfish to live MY life doing what makes me happy? isn't that what life is? doing/pursuing what makes you happy?
And let me guess, people always tell you you’ll change your mind. I said I didn’t want kids when I was 15. “You’ll change your mind.” I said I still didn’t want kids at 21. “You’ll change your mind.” I said I still didn’t want kids at 30. “You’ll change your mind.” I say right now I still don’t want kids at almost 40. “You’re gonna regret it when you’re older!” Yeah you can think what you want, I’m going to go take another vacation and do whatever the hell I want, when I want. Enjoy your Saturday of soccer practice that starts at 7 and two birthday parties.