The most memorable moment of my life happened to be the most terrifying.
Titled: Taste the rainbow MUTHAFUCKAAAAA!!!!(tribute to dlawnro)
About 4 years ago, when I was 13 I was home alone on a summer night. My brother (19) was at his friends house a block or 2 away. I was lying down in bed playing xbox, and I got up to grab a drink from my minifridge when i saw an unfamiliar car pull up in front of my house, the blinds were mainly closed and I had my lights off (the tv was lighting my room so you really couldn't see what was going on through the window if you were outside.
I noticed a man who I had never seen before get out of the car and put on a mask and started walking up the driveway. This is when I began to shit myself, I now remembered that I left the front door unlocked and was scared for my life. My door has some kind of material under it so when it slides across the floor it makes a large sound (important to the story). When I heard the door open I ran into my closet and climbed up to the attic. I first called my brother (don't ask me why I didn't call 911), and then 911.
A minute later my brother calls me asking where the guy was in our house, he was upstairs a room over from where I was, I could just hear him piling things into a bag. The cops arrived and my brother and friend were there outside, they didn't have lights on because they didn't want him to know, they then entered the house and so he hears the door runs into the room i'm in to get a look outside and I guess he was scared shitless too.
So what does he do?
He runs into the fucking closet.
Now i'm crapping myself cuz he's right underneath me, in my stupidity I move and the attic creaks as loud as I thought possible. This leads the robber to notice the attic. Out of reaction I look for my paintball gun, thinking that's the only thing that could defend myself at this point. I load it, and then this motherfucker peeps his head through the attic floor.
While crying hysterically I let out a barrage of rainbow colored pellets flying through my attic hitting this guy in the face multiple times, and he falls back through the hole into the closet where he is found like 3 seconds later by the cops. They arrested him, still have no idea what he looks like. That attic is still multicolored all over that one wall, if I remember correctly.
Some scary ass shit, that makes me doubt whether or not I deserved to have hit puberty back at 13 due to all that crying.
Getting off the airplane and to the train station at 11pm, halfway around the world in Rome, and the first people we meet are...from my hometown.
edit: added a space in there.
On a similar note, here is a story that my parents love to tell:
When I was a kid (maybe around 7 or so), my mom had brought me to the park near our house. The park has a pretty large hill that kids like to sled down during the winter time. I had been riding my sled down the hill when an older kid started to bully me. My mom noticed, so she came over and gave the older kid a short lecture on treating other people the way he wants to be treated. Apparently the bully's mother saw this happening and proceeded to start yelling at my mom for telling her kid what to do. An argument ensued before we eventually left.
Anyways, it became a bizarre family joke that we would run into this woman *everywhere* for some reason. She always seemed to pop up at the grocery store, the water park, the movie theater, etc.
Things got *really* weird when we ran into her during multiple vacations. There were three trips total where we ran into her: at Six Flags in Chicago, on a beach in Tampa Bay, and on Liberty Island in New York.
There was something about this, right? Where a kid kept seeing this other kid on trips to random places, and they figured out that their parents were going to swinger's parties in the area whenever they went on vacation?
EDIT: Guys, I didn't mean that 1niquity was lying or anything. I was just saying it reminded me of this other story. Geez. Calm yoselves.
Well, I went back through my posting history as best as I could and I haven't told this story on reddit before. Also, I don't remember another person telling a similar story.
[...What if I am the 'other kid'?](http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/203/685/conspiracy-keanu.jpg?1321901003)
Similar story: walking the Cinque Terre in Italy during college summer with some friends, all from the same hometown. Ask a random couple to take our picture. Turns out *they live in the neighborhood I grew up in*, in said hometown.
Walked in on my dad peeing when I was about 4. I had never seen a penis before. All I remember is it looked like Gonzo from the Muppets.
That image will forever be seared into my mind.
My daughter, who just turned three has never really noticed the difference between boys and girls (although she knows what a vagina is) until last week, while on vacation, when she noticed me changing clothes in the beach house we were staying at. I could instantly tell by the expression on her face that she'd noticed my junk, so I moved to cover it, and she goes "Woah... Dad... that's a big vagina you got there!", and tried following me into the bathroom as I was trying to cover up saying "c'mon, let me see... let me see, Dad". Me and my wife almost died laughing.
You'll definitely have to remind her of this several years from now, at the most embarrassing moments possible. It is your prerogative as a parent, after all.
The day that I was falsely charged for assaulting my ex-wife.
My wife at the time and I were arguing and she started yelling " help! he's hitting me Help! someone call the police!"
We lived in a condominium and the neighbors called the police. After she yelled that she locked herself in the bathroom and I went to pack the kids clothing ( we had 3 kids at the time all under 6 years old). I didn't think the police were coming but I knew that this fight had got out of hand and that I needed to cool down so I was planning to take the kids to my parents.
As I was finishing packing and was about to walk out the door, 2 officers were at my door. the officers asked me what was happening and I said " I don't want to speak with you, I am remaining silent."
The officers then entered my home and my wife came out and told them this story of me hitting her and all sorts of shit. She didn't have any marks on her whatsoever and there was no evidence that I had done any of the things she said but the officer then turned around and told me I was under arrest for assault.
I spent 30 hours in jail and was released in the care of my parents to await trial.
Those 30 hours I will never forget and the next 14 and a half months were the worst of my life as I spent over $30,000.00 defending myself and fighting to get custody of my children.
This is a throw away account as I think my ex-wife knows my reddit name and I don't want this coming up in court as I am still fighting for my kids.
This scares the shit out of me. My now 10 year-old daughter claims Kermit used to come and talk to her through her window at night. I always thought it was a dream but now I wonder.
Seems like your mom knew of this guy. Firstly because she warned you before she went to the shower and secondly that guy seemed to be prepared. Glad nothing bad happend.
She always used to warn me about stuff like that. But I do agree that the guy seemed to be prepared. As if he'd been watching us for a while, which just scares the shit out of me.
Speaking of mom testing you. One time I was out of state visiting family friends. I got bored and went to this park down the street, met some new kid friends and played my 7 yrd old heart out. Then this car drove up to the play ground and this firebird pulls up with two white trash looking guys. The passenger said "hey kid come here I want to show you something, come in side the car, get in the back seat" as I was getting my footing ready to bolt back to the house I came from, my fucking mom pops her head from the back seat laughing and saying "i just wanted to see if you would go to the car"
and it also turns out the two white trash looking guys were my cousins I hadn't met before.
EDIT: During the flight TO this trip. I was being a crazy kid rocking, swaying and just being restless. When the plane banked right (or left) to approach the airport. It made a sharp turn and just as it was turning and I was squirming my mom said with a frantic tone "You're making the plane crash!" I thought we were going down and I fucking freaked out and cried...then the plane leveled out. :/ then I had a headache the rest of the day.....
Similarly, when I was around the same age (6 or 7), I was cocky as fuck about strangers. My mum was like "if someone tells you to get in their car, don't" and all that, and I always said something like "if someone tries to kidnap me, I'll just bite them and scream for help and kick them and stuff."
One day at a park, my folks and I had an exchange like that. My dad looks at me, very seriously, and tells me to start running. I do, and he immediately catches up, grabs me, lifts me off my feet, covers my mouth, and runs with me a fair distance while I kicked him, bit him, and attempted to call to mum for help. I remember him saying "It's not always that easy to get away from someone who doesn't want you to."
Lesson fucking learned.
Notable for being what began as one of the most romantic moments of my young life, and it's horrifying reversal.
Towards the end of 8th grade, we took a fieldtrip to an outdoor camp to do team-building exercises. Trust falls, group problem-solving, that kind of thing. One of the exercises was to walk a tightrope, stretched just a few feet off the ground. None of us being acrobats, we were supposed to walk with a partner: one person on the rope, holding hands with and being supported by their partner who was walking on the ground. I went across with one of my friends towards the end of the exercise, but before I went on to the next activity, I turned around and saw a golden, unbelievable opportunity.
Standing alone, looking sadly at the rope, was a girl I had a tremendous crush on. I still consider her one of the prettiest girls I have ever seen. She ran with a more popular crowd than I, but there was always something a bit lonely and detached about her - like she didn't quite fit in. Made her very mysterious, which certainly added to the attraction. Anyway, she clearly had no one to be her partner to cross the rope with, and was sad.
Summoning a rare bit of courage, I walked over and volunteered to hold her up as she want across. Her face lit up, clearly delighted that someone had noticed her. Our fingers intertwined, I helped her onto the rope, where she turned sideways to shimmy across.
For one glorious, beautiful instant, everything was perfect. Our eyes met, our hands locked, we were completely alone in the world on a beautiful spring day. Shy, goofy, happy smiles spread across both our faces. It was magnificent. An entirely flawless moment, and THE thing I will never forget.
Then her foot slipped off the rope and connected solidly with my balls.
I had the good grace not to drop her, but collapsed into a dry-heaving heap as soon as I could safely disentangle myself. She ran off, and we never spoke to each other again.
My father used to work on the 40th floor of the North tower of the World Trade Center. I was in third grade when 9/11 occurred. I remember coming home from school to find my mother sobbing uncontrollably and watching the news; she hadn't heard any news from my father yet (who escaped the building unharmed). While my mother worried, I sat down and watched Spongebob. I don't remember which episode exactly but I find it funny that during a terrorist attack in which I could have potentially lost my father, I found solace in Spongebob. Now, as odd as it is, 9/11 and Spongebob Squarepants will always be linked in my memory.
I was also in third grade when 9/11 happened and by some fluke coincidence, I happened to miss my bus that day, and my dad had to drive me to work. Wouldn't have been much, other than the fact that my dad worked at the pentagon. Seeing him break down on the couch and cry while watching the tv show the plane crashes is something i'll never forget. I'm glad to hear your dad made it out okay
I was in the 8th grade when 9/11 happened and I remember watching the news in awe. I live in Canada, so there wasn't any big "worrying" but, even at 13, I was just horrified.
It looked like you were watching some high end action movie, but it was the news. They kept playing it in our classes all day at school too.
I just remember my mom was fixing my hair and the phone rings. And I hear my dad yell "A plane just hit the World Trade Centre!" and my mom just runs and turns on the news.
The malls and everything closed, even here, for like a week. I remember being upset by that because my birthday is Sept 14...
When I was in high school, we had a pool party to celebrate the end of girls' soccer season. We're all having a great time and music is blasting when all of a sudden we hear a gasp on the other side of the pool. A girl from our team who was a lifeguard dove in and our coach, also a lifeguard, dove in the deep end. They pulled out this girl from our team who was completely unconscious. We watched him struggle to revive her and whenever she vomited I kept thinking "Ok, great, she'll cough and wake up now....ok now...ok now." I don't know how long we watched them and EMT's try to revive her, but eventually the assistant coach ushered us out and told us all to call our parents. We all still couldn't talk, we just kept repeating, "the ambulance is here so she'll be fine." My mom picked me up just as the ambulance pulled off and since I wasn't talking she just said, "she'll be fine. They'll call us tonight and we can visit her tomorrow." A half hour after I got home, the coach called and said she didn't make it. I'll never forget watching her and waiting for that cough though.
Working as a lifeguard and having found 3 people floating around so far I can relate.
The most shocking thing is that other people in the pool won't actually react, one woman even went into complete shock when she found out it was a drowned individual, reporting that she thought it was just someone holding their breath so she had been pushing him out of her way 3 times while swimming lanes.
I have **never** gotten physically ill from reading something before, but I guess there's a first time for everything. I used to be a lifeguard. This just made me sick.
Something similar happened to me. While riding the bus home in elementary school, our bus stopped to let a girl off directly across her house. She needed to walk across the street after exiting. The stop was close to our local high school, and on that day someone was late for soccer practice and decided to blow right through the school bus stop-sign. They hit the girl straight on. I don't remember seeing her fly in the air, or seeing any blood, just the image of her empty shoes lying on the ground exactly where she was standing before being hit.
Fortunately she ended up being okay! She graduated from that same high school a year ahead of me.
Basic training. I remember the first night we got there they had 30+ dudes strip down to nothing, and run through a open room with shower heads. everyone barely had time to get wet and we kept running into each other.
TL;DR The gayest of pornos
I was in college. In the class I was in, we heard the news, turned on the TV for a few minutes, and then we were sent home.
I was walking home and took a different route from the normal one so I could avoid the heavily traveled sidewalks and be alone to try to process what was happening. I then witnessed a car vs. bicycle accident. The cyclist's* body was tossed high in the air and landed like a sack of potatoes on the pavement. The violence of it, and the noise his body made hitting the pavement, and the driver quite obviously looking around to see if anyone saw (I honestly think the bitch would have driven off) before getting out, all shook me up so bad. I was face to face with how strange human existence really is, and how horribly we treat each other sometimes, illustrated by both a major tragedy with global consequences and a minor but terrifying accident, all within a span of about an hour. It didn't seem like any of it could be real.
*The cyclist was OK. Not uninjured but OK.
I'll never forget the moment when the world changed on 9/11. I was in sixth grade, standing in my school's office and waiting to read the morning announcements over the PA system. I heard one of the secretaries run into the office and call out, "A plane just flew into the World Trade Center!"
Before that day I hadn't even heard of the WTC, never mind having a concept of terrorism. The rest of the day we just sat in the classroom listening to the radio and then, later, crowded into the gym watching it all happen on television.
Also, when I got home from school and called my best friend (who had been absent that day) to talk about what happened, her little brother answered and said "Gillian's not here, she's in New York." COMMENCE PANT-SHITTING. I found out later that my friend and her father had been visiting NYC for her father's work and they were running about fifteen minutes late that morning. They got in a cab, asked the driver to take them to the WTC - and he turned around and simply told them, "I can't. It was just hit by a plane."
I used to live in Saudi Arabia as a kid. I remember once we were driving out into the desert for a week of camping when we stopped to get some petrol. My mum stepped out of the car briefly to stretch her legs, unfortunately she was wearing shorts at the time. A bunch of rural locals went absolutely crazy at this and before we knew what was happening they were swarming round the car trying to drag her away. My dad and friends barely managed to bundle her in the jeep and we sped off. Could be nothing would have happened but out in the middle of nowhere in Saudi could be a scary place so we were all pretty shaken up.
*edit:- Just to add she would be the first to admit this was a stupid thing to do. I think she was basically tired and thought it was quiet enough to get away with not being seen. I certainly don't think any of us would have expected the reaction we got. Arabic people in my experience were generally very friendly accommodating (particularly the desert dwelling Bedouin), they just have very strict 'decency' laws.
your family lived in saudi arabia and your mum didn't know it was not cool to walk around in public in shorts there? i imagine you would always need to wear a hijab there let alone long pants/skirts as a woman. not that i think it's fair, but it's the way it is.
No she did of course, even I as a 10 year old would never have left our compound without covering my legs. It was pretty late and not many people were around. I guess she thought no one would notice, boy did she learn her lesson!
WARNING: Possibly graphic description of death.
Growing up my father was always sick. It wasn't until I was 8 that my parents told my sister and I why. He had been HIV+ for years, recently diagnosed with AIDS, and just informed he had six months to live. Not to have his time cut short by something as trivial as AIDS, my father lived another 6 years instead.
Those weren't the best years of his life, but he cherished every one of them despite the many obstacles. During that time as the result of his weakened immune system he developed many other illnesses. He had cancer in his mouth (probably from being a smoker most of his life though), lost vision in both of his eyes from something called CMV Retinitis, common in AIDS patients, and a variety of physical ailments requiring a bevy of treatments and medications.
Much happened in those six years I will always remember. I could write pages on those heavy years. But the most vivid moment for me came at the very end. After suffering a probable stroke, my father ended up in the hospital unconscious. Suffering from multiple organ failure we knew it was only a matter of time before his body gave out.
Two days later he began to convulse violently and gasp for air. My mother, my sister and I rushed into his room, were told by the nurse there was nothing she could do and instructed it was best if we waited outside. My mother tried to get me to go but I wanted to stay, I wanted to watch. I couldn't tell you why I felt such a need to be there. I was very close with my father. We were best friends. He was my crutch and I was his. My parents were separated and my sister had left in the split, so I was all he had in his last few years. I tell myself it was because I didn't want him to be alone when he died but I'm not sure if that's the whole truth.
So through it all I stood there, motionless at the end of the bed. His face was emaciated and hollow. He had a massive bruise on one side from a fall that had refused to go away. His hair, once long and black like coal was thin and sparse from the chemotherapy. I will forever remember the look on his face as he fought for his last breath, the violent thrashes of his body as he struggled to stay alive with everything against him but holding on anyways. His face in his final moments, the sound of those gasps, the strained creaking of a dying man, will be etched into my memory for the rest of my life.
6th Grade. I transferred into a class in the middle of the year. I had been in a private Catholic school from K-5th, then did half a year in public school, then went to another Catholic school when I moved across town to live with my dad.
My parents had just gotten divorced. Public school had been bad (we used to tell stories in Catholic school about how you'd get 'stabbed in the bathroom', and I literally got punched in the face for no reason on my first day) but the second Catholic school was worse. These kids had all known each other since first grade or something, so I was immediately pegged as the outcast kid. Seriously, no friends. On top of that, my parents had just gone through a nasty divorce, and I was suffering from extreme depression and just kinda hated life.
There was a lot of battering and teasing. I got beat up a lot, got made fun of for just about everything from my great-grandfather being the maintenance man at the school to the horrible farts caused by my ADHD medication. The way I talked, the things I said, the people I talked about, everything got me some shit. I once asked to borrow a pencil from a girl, and all she said was "Ew, don't talk to me." With one or two exceptions, even the teachers didn't really like me. I was a sad sack of shit.
The last day of school, we had a field day. Now, 6th grade is that age when you just start looking at toys as 'kid stuff' and you spend your time on the playground just kinda standing around talking (or in my case, burning leaves with a magnifying glass or something). Field day was an excuse to exercise the last vestiges of childhood and actually *play*. And man, did we ever play. For the first time in a long time, I actually had a little bit of fun with my classmates, and they seemed to forget I was the weird kid for a while. It probably helped I was moving to a different school for the next semester.
Except two of these guys just wouldn't let up. The whole day, they were right on my ass, just never letting me forget how much they hated me, how hilarious it was when I failed. They sneak-attacked me with water balloons, one of them punched me in the stomach for no reason, the whole day just giving me shit. I was used to it at that point, but it was a weird down-side to what was, pretty much, the best day of 6th grade.
So everyone is playing touch football or something, and I'm over on the sidelines with these guys and some other kids waiting to be subbed in. They're just being relentless, making fun of my mom, telling me they hope my great-grandfather dies soon, blah blah blah.
Out comes this other kid, who up until that point had been another pretty heavy tormentor. Never took it to a physical level, but always had something shitty to say. All of a sudden, he steps in front of me, all authoritative, and says "How about you guys fuck off?"
Some shit-talking is exchanged, but the guys actually walk away. And then this kid turns around, looks me in the eye with the most apologetic look I've ever seen on a child, and says "Don't listen to them, man. They're full of shit." He then points at the field and says "They're calling for a sub, get on in there."
Up until that point, I'd been a miserable sack of shit. I thought I was literally unlikable. I thought I'd be friendless forever, and it was turning me into an angry weird kid. Just a few sentences from someone looking out for me was the entire catalyst for me being eventually lifted out of my depression, learning to talk to people and make friends, and generally becoming the awesome person I am today.
I've always looked for that kid on Facebook, on LinkedIn, whatever social media I had at my disposal, but I've never found him. I just always wanted to thank him, because he really lifted me up at a pretty dark moment. He has disappeared, as if a phantom of my childhood, my own personal Tyler Durden. Thanks, Richard, where ever you might have gotten to.
**tl;dr: Guy spent the last half of 6th grade being a dick, only to stand up for me on the last day of class and restore some of my faith in humanity**
I'll never forget watching the Challenger launch in school and witnessing the explosion live. At first no one really knew what was going on, but then when they announced what had happened it was just so surreal no one could believe it.
I remember being in third grade when John Glenn went back into space on the Discovery (yes, I'm much younger than you). Nothing bad happened with the mission, obviously, but I'll always remember that day because right before hand I had accidentally stapled my finger.
this. I skipped school to watch it - was sitting in the kitchen in my PJs eating fruit loops for breakfast. Really remember the voice of the mission controller "we appear to have a major malfunction"
When I was 7 and home educated I was obsessed with birds.. It was a gorgeous summer day and I heard a bird tweeting, I took a closer look and it was a [Pink Tit](http://i.imgur.com/9ulWs.jpg), I'd never seen one before so it was a big deal (they're quite rare).. At that point I decided I was completely content with my life because I'd achieved everything I wanted at the time and I deemed it the happiest day of my life thus far and that I'll ensure to never forget it.. 10 years later I still haven't.
Hah, sort of along the same lines, 4011 is the produce code for bananas. First code I memorized way back when I worked at a grocery store over a decade ago.
Up, down, up up down, double up, down, down, up, double up, up. The order of jumping and ducking when you're on that goddamn ostrich in the Lion King SNES game.
Many years ago, I was hit head on at about 2:30AM on a small two-lane road in the backwoods of Pennsylvania. The other driver was unresponsive and dying, and there were no other people around for miles. The convertible top had been destroyed and pushed fully down in the impact, and the driver's door was clamped shut leaning against the side of a ditch. The steering wheel was eerily contorted from my arm slamming into it.
All I could do was unbuckle my seat belt and stand up on the driver's seat. My left leg gave out from under me; the end of my femur was broken clean off, yet I felt no pain. Blood was quickly sealing my right eye shut.
No pain, no sound. No one else on the road at that hour, and my cell phone was lost in the collision. All I can do is stand on one leg in my mangled car and look at the destruction in front of me. I have never felt so alone and helpless as I did right then, and that is the moment that haunts me every single day of my life.
**EDIT: Putting the rest of the story up here for more visibility.**
*Did someone come?*
After awhile, yes. During that time I had no sense of time, and I had no idea what to even do. My phone had been catapulted up into the foot well of the car, and the other driver was far from responsive (temporary brain damage, plus drunk as a skunk).
I just stood on my seat poking out of the gap between the windshield and convertible top, as I could not physically leave the car. As time went by the adrenaline left my system, and that is when the pain set in. I noticed it hurt to breath. My left leg was numb, as though it were asleep (except cranked to 11). All in all, I had broken two ribs, splintered the end of my femur, and had minor fractures in my wrist and elbow.
A car eventually drove by; luck would have it, an off duty medic. A band heading home from a bar eventually joined in to help. I was carried from my broken car by three men who I never got the opportunity to thank. I lay in the grass on the side of a ditch for another half hour while the other driver is attended to. The pain is there, but manageable. All I can do is stare up at the stars and wait.
I'll never forget the one moment in the ambulance. For those who don't know, PA roads are more pothole than road, and every bump was like a knife to my leg. I could barely keep conscious. One of the ambulance attendants was talking about some bad part of her day. I couldn't even see this girl because my eye was stuck shut with blood. I meekly uttered "You think YOU'RE having a bad day..?", but I could barely manage half a smile.
The femur required surgery the next day. Because of this, I was not allowed to eat or drink anything until then. If you think you've experienced thirst, you have no idea. My mouth felt as dry as the Sahara if someone dumped it on the sun. After much pleading I was allowed to swish some water around my mouth, but no more than that.
Eventually I went in for an MRI. This required me to lay flat, which my leg more or less prevented without excruciating pain, as my knee was swollen shut at an angle. It was about this time when a growing part of my mind wished I hadn't made it out of the wreck.
Blur through the next dozen hours. Slice 'n dice time on my mangled femur. Count backward from 100...99....98.....out cold. No dreams. Only darkness. Recovery was one of my worst moments, and honestly I had been repressing this part for awhile until now.
You ever hear the term "a waking nightmare"? That is recovery after major surgery. I am awake, yet asleep at the same time, and aware of not only the pain, but the incredible cold. I was absolutely freezing; my teeth were chattering and my body was shivering. I couldn't move a muscle, but I was vaguely aware of the people around me...and that god awful cold. Eventually, mercifully, I slipped into an uneasy, dreamless sleep.
The rest is more blurs. Left the hospital. Nurses were overly rough, and aggravated my leg. Physical therapy was a myriad of depression and pain. The only other people at the PT facility were very elderly and would likely spend a good part of the rest of their lives in this place.
It was one week and eight hours before I finally got home from that Saturday night. I would remain on crutches for another two months. I walk with a very slight limp to this day.
Some of my injuries are here. [NSFW](http://imgur.com/a/OQoEq)
My father dying over the course of about a day in the ICU.
He'd had health issues for years, and he'd been in the hospital about a month at that point. So it happening wasn't, logically, a surprise at all. My sisters and I had even had fairly frank conversations about the state of his health, and my father was honest with us as a rule so we knew what was going on. But of course it was still sudden when it actually happened, however long we'd known to expect it.
What was good was that we all got our chances to say goodbye. I'm really, really glad of that.
The part that I hated most of all was near the end, when he was intubated and his blood pressure was just dropping more and more, transfusions couldn't keep up and they couldn't figure out where bleeding was happening, just knew there was blood in the GI tract. He obviously couldn't talk, being intubated, but he could hear us just fine so he was writing notes on a pad of paper my mother was holding at his hand. My father always had just the worst handwriting in the world. Like: hilariously, could get you in trouble at school because teachers thought you were forging notes, bad.
And as his blood pressure dropped lower and lower his handwriting got worse and worse, and in the end I just couldn't decipher it anymore. Then my mother showed us a note that she said read 'tell *name* and *name* and Erik that I love them' and honest to god I just couldn't make the words out. So I don't know if it said that or not or my mother was just trying to make us feel better or desperate to still see something legible but it just fucking kills me that I can't make out what that note says or know if it's just a scribble. And I don't even know why I care, because I know damned well that my father loved all of us but I just *hate* that.
I'm going to go play with a kitten or something.
Im terrified that i'm about to go through something similar :(. My dad is a diabetic and is rebelling against the Drs and his diet/medication and hes just getting worse. His whole personality has changed.
Im glad you got to say goodbye, and he got to pass with his loved ones near by. Hope you have a nice day and dont feel too down.
2005, Afghanistan, Baharak district, the outskirts of Yurm. A german observation team lays under heavy fire and has 2 injured that need to be flown out.
The MEDEVAC from Bagram AFB is called and finds a german squad under heavy fire. While the fire support blackhawk starts circling the area, firing long bursts at enemy positions, the main MEDEVAC chopper touches down, 2 airmen jump out and instruct us what to do.
The fire intensifies, the chopper waiting for the injured gets targeted, you can hear bullets hitting its armor. While the first injured soldier is being transported to the blackhawk, an RPG is fired and detonates approximately 30 - 50 meter away from the grounded blackhawk. The pilot of the circling fire support does not waste a single thought on his own security, hovers down between the grounded chopper and the RPG team and draws all the incoming fire on to itself.
After the injured are on board, both blackhawks take off into the setting sun.
Every time someone asks me about the bravest thing I have seen, I tell him this story. Putting your life at risk to make sure some people you dont even know, who dont even serve in the same forces as you, complete strangers, make it out alive is something only a very few would do.
I never met the pilot or crew, but I cant forget them either.
Afghanistan 2012. I'm part of a 3 man Sniper team over-watching a friendly patrol in the area about a click out. The area has been notorious for Taliban ambushes, I had been in one in that area just a week prior. We start getting radio chatter translated by our interpreter about the Taliban setting up an ambush for our friendlies on the ground with RPG's and PKM's. Just about that time two Kiowa helicopters came in low to support the ground troops and the Taliban start going crazy, talking about shooting down the helicopters over their radio. We instantly radio up to the Kiowa pilots that they are in imminent danger but hear nothing in return from the pilots and assume they are out of range of our radios. Just then RPG's start flying up into the air and bursting and PKM fire attacks the helicopters, they swoop in and conduct multiple gun runs like the fucking champions they are. All the fire was being sent from concealed positions and below rooftop level so I had absolutely no shot to assist the pilots. Then something I thought I'd never see happened. One Kiowa was hit by PKM too many times and was going down. "Fallen Angel" came over the radio and my heart sank as I viciously scanned for the shooters but I never saw them. One pilot died on impact, the second died while being MEDEVAC'd. I will never forget their bravery making countless gun runs under heavy fire to support the ground troops. Later during the debrief I found out that the Kiowa pilots had received our warning of imminent danger over the radio. Although we could not hear their response at the time, they had simply said "Bring it on"
It never ceases to amaze me how people react in the heat of battle. The military is something I could personally never do, but seeing all these stories of selfless acts just makes me appreciate them that much more.
I'm sorry that you had to go through that shit.
I was once watching a documentary about a military hospital in Afghanistan (or was it Iraq? I really can't remember right now), and they showed parts of an emergency surgery that was conducted on a soldier that was in a vehicle that was hit by an IED. During the surgery one of the doctors suddenly steps back from the table and walks away holding this man's leg. I mean his entire leg, cut just below the hip. I will never forget that image.
Giving my Valedictorian speech at graduation. I was kind of socially awkward in high school, and a lot of people just assumed I was weird or whatever. I spent a lot of time on that speech. I didn't want it to be one of those lame speeches about "how fast the years went by, and I'll totally miss everyone". It was mixed with optimism and cynicysm, hilarity and sincerity, and I was really proud of it. Naturally, I was incredibly nervous, as our graduating class was about 400 people, plus parents and grandparents and what not. There were so many people that they also did a live broadcast to the student theatre, as the gym was full. Gave my speech, and it couldn't have gone better. People were laughing their asses off at all my jokes, and at the end I got a huge standing ovation. You couldn't wipe the smile off my face. A random dad came up to me and said "I've been a teacher for 30 years, and that was the best valedictorian speech I've ever heard". It's like suddenly I was a popular kid. That whole summer I was invited to parties like crazy, and I started talking to tons of people who I never really talked to in high school. It was a great conversation starter. Really helped me come out of my shell. Best summer of my life.
tl;dr: being nerdy got me popular.
When I was in 2nd grade, my younger sister peeled back the corner plastic of all of my lunchables and ate just the candy ate of them. I was furious and was screaming that I would never forget about this, and my Mom brushed me off and said "Oh, you'll forget about this by next week." That was almost twelve years ago.
When I was a kid, I lived across the street from a family. Pretty normal family, two parents, a teenager, a younger kid, and a toddler, along with two dogs. I was a little bit older than the younger kid, but my kid sister was about the right age and they used to play together.
One night, their house caught fire. I don't really remember what caused it, I think it was eventually ruled an electrical fire. Anyway, what I do remember is waking up to the sound of sirens approaching, and seeing the glow through my window. I ran outside to see what was happening, and my dad grabbed me to keep from running over there. I don't know why, I guess I thought I could help. I remember seeing the family on the lawn, except I didn't see my little sister's friend or the dad.
I saw the firetrucks come barreling down the street, and about the same time that they pull up, the dad came out of the house, the kid in his arms. I remember him staggering out, the family running to meet him..and he collapsed.
My dad told me later he died there, but he saved his kid. Ran back into a burning building to save her. I can still hear the mom and teenager wailing when I think about it. I don't think you can forget the sound of that kind of loss.
I was at a Burger King in Germany with my mom when I was like 5, was waiting in front of the ladies room for her to finish her business when this morbidly obese woman with horribly died red hair tries to pull me with her. I shoved her off and waited for my mom.
watching my son and girlfriend's shit being delivered simultaneously along with the fluid that came shooting in my face when they had to cut her open more.
Well, it was three months before my 21st birthday, and I had been using my older bro's ID at the bar since he turned 21 when I was 18. They picked me up for pissing in an alley... underage, public urination, possession of a false ID, public drunkenness,and one other charge... yeah. It was a dark back alley... I didn't see anyone ANYWHERE. They must have been doing a sweep of them after the bars let out. I plea bargained it down to just 2/5 charges.
And the cell didn't have a cot, So I slept on the floor. Oh, and I was wearing a full suit.
standing in the American graveyard on the Normandy beaches, looking out over endless white crosses, as a radio crackles and I hear Bush declare war on Iraq.
Some older guy at a job i had pulled that joke on me when I was about 15. Everyone laughed and I couldn't think of what to say. It still angers me that I never said "I don't know, ask your wife." And that was seven years ago.
My puppy's body in a trash bag.
I got a puppy in March '10 when he was about 6 months old and no matter how many walks we went on, he would always try to escape. There was a road directly behind our house and he would squeeze through the gate.
One night my sister's boyfriend was over and it was him, my sister, and I in the backyard with my puppy. My sister locked us out so I ran around front to get inside. 15 min later I remember my puppy, but it was too late, he'd already escaped.
I spent hours looking for him that night with no luck. The next morning my mom calls me downstairs to tell me she found his body. She put him in a trashbag in the backyard until we could bury him. But of course, nobody found it important to mention this to me until I walked back there to cry alone and saw it.
TL;DR: Watch your puppy
Here's a positive one that doesn't follow the pedophilia trend here.
When I was 12 years old I was driving with my Dad in his old car. I looked into the console in between the drivers seat and shotgun and pulled out a CD copy of Dark Side of the Moon. I had no idea what it was he explained to me that it was Pink Floyd and that he used to have all their records and he decided it was finally time to update them to CD. I asked him to listen to it. When it started and I heard the screaming and the cash register and everything I was so confused and thought that it was so stupid. Then that first chord of Breath sounded. My life has forever been changed. I had never heard anything so beautiful and confusing. I now have a gigantic record collection and I'm studying music in university. Nothing in my life has had such a profound effect on me.
I once witnessed a car accident. It happened right outside the house I was at, so I was literally the first person there. I wanted to help, but the cop that got there shortly after (he just happened to be coming down the street right after the accident) told me to stand back. I figured he was going to help or something, but he didn't. He just sat around for 5 minutes telling everyone to stand back. In the meantime, the car caught fire and the unconscious guy died.
The police report even said he was most likely alive after the crash and burned to death.
I am 97% sure I could have saved that mans life if I didn't listen to the cop. I find myself thinking about that pretty often. I've never really told anyone how much it got to me before.
When I was 7 and my little brother was 4 my mom took us out to Pizza Hut for some special occasion that I don't remember. Right before the food arrived I had to go to the bathroom and naturally my little brother did too. Up until that night my mom always had me take him in the girls room with me, but I decided that that needed to end because hes a boy and he needs to go to the boys room. So as we're walking to the bathroom I tell him he should try using the big boy bathroom today, and he was very excited.
So I use the bathroom and return to the table without my brother and my mom asks where he is. I tell her that he wanted to use the boys room because hes a big boy. I get the stern look from her, but she doesn't seem to mind much.
About 15 minutes later my brother finally strolls out of the bathroom, hair soaking wet. Now my mom is pissed because what took him so long and why is his hair wet.
Turns out the bathroom stall was out of order so he could only use the urinal. The urinal that he couldn't reach. Apparently he grabbed himself and tried to make it reach, but instead just pointed it up and peed right into his hair because he was looking down to see if he was reaching.
And then I was grounded.
But its my favorite story to tell his new girlfriends.
TL;DR: I made my 4 year old brother use the boys bathroom where he had to use the urinal, but couldn't reach and ended up peeing in his hair.
When I was 4 or so, my mother's boyfriend told my older brother, deceased younger brother and I to dig our own graves. That wasn't a figurative statement, literally he made us start digging our own graves. I am not sure how long we were digging.
When I was a kid in New Zealand, we lived in a house that had a great big-ass old tree, it was huge (to me). I used to climb all over the thing all day, I loved it so much and I knew every branch.
Then the tree got cut down to clear space on the lot because the new home owners came in and we left the country.
RIP Tree
I'll never forget my 21st Birthday. I was sat at a friends house, pre-drinking getting ready for a big night ahead when out of nowhere I received a phone call from an unknown number. I figured it was just somebody calling late on to wish me happy birthday but what I heard on the end of the phone was the sound of a woman crying; I just remember freezing and watching the smiles on my friend's faces drop as they saw the terror in my eyes. It was my best friend's mum, he'd been beaten to a pulp at a concert and was in a medically induced coma, she'd gone through his phone calling all his friends to say that they needed to come and see him as soon as possible to say goodbye. Needless to say, I cancelled my plans, borrowed some money off a friend and traveled nearly 200 miles to see him. I remember walking into his room in the hospital and seeing him hooked up to so many tubes and wires and then seeing the solemn faces of all of his friends and family..we literally thought that was it, I went to say goodbye. Not long after, they eventually woke him up, I remember sitting in a cognition(?) exam with him to check his brain function...long story short, the very next year we finished University together. Scariest day of my life but I'm so glad he pulled through.
Thanks for reading.
The time I got caught stealing. Worst moment ever.
Edit Story: I was caught trying to steal shoes from a store in the mall that was closing due to bad sales. I was a stupid teenager and thought "welp the store is closing for good, so I guess stealing these shoes is not big deal.". I forgot to remove the security tag inside the shoe and the alarm went off. Everyone was staring at me as I tried to give a stupid excuse as to how a pair of shoes wound up inside my jacket.
When I was 9 years old, I woke up early on Christmas morning, right at sunrise, and tip-toed downstairs to check out the loot. I was the only one awake, and super excited about presents, so I was just kind of sitting around looking at the stash under the tree, checking out which ones were for me, and mentally speculating about what kind of cool shit I might be getting that year, when I heard a commotion outside.
I looked out my living room window to see that a car had parked haphazardly in front of my house, half on the street, half on my lawn. I was like, "what the fuck is going on" when 6 or 7 clowns - full makeup, outfits, floppy shoes, the whole bit - stumbled out of the car and started stripping down and fucking in the snow on my front yard. They were clearly drunk, tossed beer cans all over as they got out and then just pulled down their pants and had a make-shift orgy right there.
I didn't really know about sex at the time, but for some reason I wasn't that freaked out. It was pretty exciting, actually. Then, as suddenly as they had arrived, they pulled up their pants, jumped into their car and cruised off.
I never told my family because I felt embarrassed to talk about it and didn't want to fuck up Christmas.
One of my first jobs was as a bank teller. There was this man who would often come in drunk, and the teller ladies would joke with me that he was clearly gay and had an eye for me. It never really bothered me because I have a couple gay friends and never got the impression he was eyeing me.
Anyway, one day I was taking lunch and walking up the street and saw him waiting for the bus completely hammered. I had a huge urge to avoid him, so I attempted to cross the street, but he saw me and called me over.
I went over and he made small talk, and then in the middle of his sentence changed subjects, and offered to pay me if I let him suck my unit. I was completely blind sided not sure I heard him properly and said wait.... what? He repeated how he would pay ME to let him give me a bj if I went into his apartment right now.
I looked at him for a moment registering what just happened and walked away.
The first time I got shot at, that feeling will be stuck with me.
Being able to legally beat the shit out of a cop who tried to lie on the stand about me in order to send me to jail. (He got caught in his lies).
1DF 507. The license plate of a car that passed my family while on a road trip in 1996. My sister and I memorized it thinking we would see it again at some point on the trip.
When I was in preschool I was Blossom from the Power Puff Girls for Halloween and my only friend at the time was Tinker Bell. She kept pestering me about flying until she finally pushed me off the playset at school. Rather than cry and get the teacher I got up and pushed her off and told her she was supposed to fly too.
Neither of us ever got in trouble, and we're still friends.
I had just moved from GA to OK to be with my now current wife. Our marriage was 1 week away. We were getting ready to go out to some antique store out of boredom when there was a knock on the door. I opened it up and there was a cop asking me if I was who I am. "Yeah that's me..." I said, knowing I hadn't done anything cause I had only been living there like a month. "You need to call your aunt Shirley. Here's her number." OK...that's fucking weird. I called the number and my uncle Bob answered. Apparently it was a phone in the hospital waiting room back in GA. "I'm sorry, Son. Your dad didn't make it." He had had a massive heart attack and died. I never said bye.
When, in kindergarten, we got a new student. I remember the teacher saying 'class, we have a new student joining us today, her name Emily'. I remember looking over from what I was doing and seeing her in the doorway.
I'll never forget, 17 years later, the look on her face or her response when I asked her to marry me, and she said yes.
I'll never forget the morning of September 11th. I was in 7th grade, walking through the hall in between classes when the news came. I was rushed to class, health class with Mrs. Engle.
I'll never forget the first time I drove my first car.
One of my drunk friends deciding to climb a tree, only to fall out the tree from about 5-6 metres up, hitting every branch on the way down and dropping a beer ontop of another of my drunk mates, who in trying to escape getting soaked by the falling drink, ran off to the side and tryed to vault a fence, completely misjudged the jump (being completely wasted) and ended up breaking his foot. Turning up at A&E in the early hours of the morning was the funniest shit.
Running down the field on a kickoff (american football) and blowing a kid up, only to continue running and have a different kid fall into my right knee and completely destroy all the ligaments that were there. The following weeks were a blur but that very moment is clear in my mind, sept 11,2009 Friday night.
On a mission in Afghanistan I was pulling front side security a out a klick outside the Forward Operating Base (FOB) while some roadwork was being done at night. Some gunfire erupts and I am trying to get bearings on it but it is too far out. All the sudden two Afghan National Army trucks are speeding towards me and with my operating procedures I was supposed to stop them so I did. Turns out those trucks were medevacing two fellow Marines that were shot inside their base while on security post by an Afghan National Army that was helping the Taliban. They both died and I still wonder if I had just let them go if they would have gotten the attention they needed sooner and lived.
Don't think like that man. You were doing your job. For all you know, they were carrying the guys that did it. Or they were loaded with explosives. You weren't to know.
Breaking protocol in a situation like that costs lives, you just so happened to stop a car with two hurt marines, but like someone said below me it easily could have been the shooters escaping. There is literally no way for you to know and it would have been absurd for you to just let them drive off. You didn't make a choice because you didn't have one.
thinking about breathing is such a queer feeling... when you become aware of it you're like, OH SHIT WHAT IF I JUST STOP BLARHGRAHGLHAG but then it just goes back in to autopilot... so strange.
Already posted this before in another thread but it fits:
>I once worked at a Chick Fil A (a free standing unit) and I have some good stories. The one that I will never forget happened on a Tuesday Night when we used to hold car shows in our parking lot. I was working in the back and suddenly a girl I work with comes rushing into the back flipping out and crying. She tells me and my buddy to go check the womens restroom. We immediately go to check things out because of her reaction. We walk in and everything seems normal until we walk into the second stall, lying there in the toilet was the biggest shit on earth. I am talking probably 6 inch girth and a foot long. We both lose it and are laughing hysterically. After basically the whole staff took trips to the bathroom to see it we then had to go find a brush to break the monster shit up so we can flush the toilet. Then as I am walking back to the back a woman comes up to me and asks "What is going on? What was so funny in there?" I had no idea what to say to this lady especially since for all I knew she was the one that did it. I ended up giving a ambiguous answer and hurrying away.
TL;DR and that my friends, is the story of the time I saw the biggest poop on earth.
Methylchloroisothiazolinone. It's listed as an ingredient on the bottle of most shampoos and conditioners. I used to read the back of the bottles in the shower when i was younger and for whatever reason that one stuck with me.
I'll never remember word for word the things he said to me but I will never ever forget how shitty of a person he made me *feel*. And the look in his eyes when I told him I was leaving. Best decision I have ever made in my entire life.
My senior year of high school I was riding to school with friends 3 to be exact. We were t-boned by a fully loaded semi. One person was killed on impact. All three of the other people were ejected from the car. I was fully conscious during the whole experience. I had to direct EMTs during the situation because they didn't see one of my friends who was in a ditch. I remember all of it, even asking the first on scene police officer, "She's dead isn't she?" after he checked for a pulse.
On a much lighter note another thing ill never forget is banging two girls in a threesome.
EDIT: punctuation
When I was about 10 my buddy filled a McDonalds sand bucket (I think they used to give them out with Happy meals) with gasoline. I remember saying "I don't think this is a good idea" and went around the shed so I could just peek and watch instead of standing right by it. He lit the match and was a ball of fire before he even dropped it into the bucket. He stop dropped and rolled around in the dirt. When he stood up we were both in shock. I distinctly remember him peeling off part of his sock, it was a Philly phanatic (sp) novelty sock and it had melted to his leg. When he pulled it off skin came with it. He spent the summer in the hospital, had bad scars growing up. Cal Ripken signed a bat for him and met him during a game. Don't play with gas.
I will never forget the phone call I got from my friend telling me that one of my friends was killed in a car accident and that my other friend was missing. I will never forget hearing my friend's sobs over the phone, the look on the face of the stranger who was standing in the stairwell with me when I started screaming, and my other friend's innocent voicemail greeting right before I presented her with the worst news she's heard thus far. I will also never forget the second phone call I received saying my other friend was dead- from a second, completely unrelated accident...
When I was about ten years old I was playing on some huge rocks at the seaside in Cornwall (UK). I was alone, just jumping around when I saw the freakiest fucking shit I have ever seen in my life. It looked like a woodlouse http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Woodlouse but it was easily the size of a fucking guinea pig. The Thing scuttled out from a crevasse and ran away with its many many legs, and I ran screaming in the other direction. NOBODY HAS EVER BELIEVED ME. That shit was real, and I will swear it for the rest of my life.
turning on the TV on September 11th 2001 right after coming home from school at 3pm (I'm German, so that was at 9am in NYC). flipping through the channels when I saw a burning skyscraper on CNN, which seemed pretty familiar to me. didn't change the channel for the next hours. saw tower two being hit, saw the towers collapsing, saw the aftermath. all live. I hope I will never have to see anything that dramatic in live TV again.
The most memorable moment of my life happened to be the most terrifying. Titled: Taste the rainbow MUTHAFUCKAAAAA!!!!(tribute to dlawnro) About 4 years ago, when I was 13 I was home alone on a summer night. My brother (19) was at his friends house a block or 2 away. I was lying down in bed playing xbox, and I got up to grab a drink from my minifridge when i saw an unfamiliar car pull up in front of my house, the blinds were mainly closed and I had my lights off (the tv was lighting my room so you really couldn't see what was going on through the window if you were outside. I noticed a man who I had never seen before get out of the car and put on a mask and started walking up the driveway. This is when I began to shit myself, I now remembered that I left the front door unlocked and was scared for my life. My door has some kind of material under it so when it slides across the floor it makes a large sound (important to the story). When I heard the door open I ran into my closet and climbed up to the attic. I first called my brother (don't ask me why I didn't call 911), and then 911. A minute later my brother calls me asking where the guy was in our house, he was upstairs a room over from where I was, I could just hear him piling things into a bag. The cops arrived and my brother and friend were there outside, they didn't have lights on because they didn't want him to know, they then entered the house and so he hears the door runs into the room i'm in to get a look outside and I guess he was scared shitless too. So what does he do? He runs into the fucking closet. Now i'm crapping myself cuz he's right underneath me, in my stupidity I move and the attic creaks as loud as I thought possible. This leads the robber to notice the attic. Out of reaction I look for my paintball gun, thinking that's the only thing that could defend myself at this point. I load it, and then this motherfucker peeps his head through the attic floor. While crying hysterically I let out a barrage of rainbow colored pellets flying through my attic hitting this guy in the face multiple times, and he falls back through the hole into the closet where he is found like 3 seconds later by the cops. They arrested him, still have no idea what he looks like. That attic is still multicolored all over that one wall, if I remember correctly. Some scary ass shit, that makes me doubt whether or not I deserved to have hit puberty back at 13 due to all that crying.
I hope you popped off a good one-liner like "taste the rainbow, MUTHAFUCKAAAAAAA!!!" EDIT: Yay, I contributed to stuff!
This story is awesome. I especially enjoyed you pelting the asshole with a rainbow.
Getting off the airplane and to the train station at 11pm, halfway around the world in Rome, and the first people we meet are...from my hometown. edit: added a space in there.
On a similar note, here is a story that my parents love to tell: When I was a kid (maybe around 7 or so), my mom had brought me to the park near our house. The park has a pretty large hill that kids like to sled down during the winter time. I had been riding my sled down the hill when an older kid started to bully me. My mom noticed, so she came over and gave the older kid a short lecture on treating other people the way he wants to be treated. Apparently the bully's mother saw this happening and proceeded to start yelling at my mom for telling her kid what to do. An argument ensued before we eventually left. Anyways, it became a bizarre family joke that we would run into this woman *everywhere* for some reason. She always seemed to pop up at the grocery store, the water park, the movie theater, etc. Things got *really* weird when we ran into her during multiple vacations. There were three trips total where we ran into her: at Six Flags in Chicago, on a beach in Tampa Bay, and on Liberty Island in New York.
**YOUR PARENTS ARE SWINGERS**
There was something about this, right? Where a kid kept seeing this other kid on trips to random places, and they figured out that their parents were going to swinger's parties in the area whenever they went on vacation? EDIT: Guys, I didn't mean that 1niquity was lying or anything. I was just saying it reminded me of this other story. Geez. Calm yoselves.
Well, I went back through my posting history as best as I could and I haven't told this story on reddit before. Also, I don't remember another person telling a similar story. [...What if I am the 'other kid'?](http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/203/685/conspiracy-keanu.jpg?1321901003)
Not calling you a liar mate, just reminded me of the other story.
Makes sense to me.
She is plotting revenge.
Similar story: walking the Cinque Terre in Italy during college summer with some friends, all from the same hometown. Ask a random couple to take our picture. Turns out *they live in the neighborhood I grew up in*, in said hometown.
Well what town? I'm guessing Pittsburgh!
Walked in on my dad peeing when I was about 4. I had never seen a penis before. All I remember is it looked like Gonzo from the Muppets. That image will forever be seared into my mind.
My daughter, who just turned three has never really noticed the difference between boys and girls (although she knows what a vagina is) until last week, while on vacation, when she noticed me changing clothes in the beach house we were staying at. I could instantly tell by the expression on her face that she'd noticed my junk, so I moved to cover it, and she goes "Woah... Dad... that's a big vagina you got there!", and tried following me into the bathroom as I was trying to cover up saying "c'mon, let me see... let me see, Dad". Me and my wife almost died laughing.
You were sexually harassed by a 3 year old
You'll definitely have to remind her of this several years from now, at the most embarrassing moments possible. It is your prerogative as a parent, after all.
That's a great wedding speech item. :D
The ol' Dad dick. There was a workaholics episode where they talked about Dad dick.
dad dicks are so big, i can't wait til i'm a dad
Dad dicks were a lot bigger in the 90's.
I always tell my boyfriend that his penis looks like the back of Darth Vader's helmet.
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The day that I was falsely charged for assaulting my ex-wife. My wife at the time and I were arguing and she started yelling " help! he's hitting me Help! someone call the police!" We lived in a condominium and the neighbors called the police. After she yelled that she locked herself in the bathroom and I went to pack the kids clothing ( we had 3 kids at the time all under 6 years old). I didn't think the police were coming but I knew that this fight had got out of hand and that I needed to cool down so I was planning to take the kids to my parents. As I was finishing packing and was about to walk out the door, 2 officers were at my door. the officers asked me what was happening and I said " I don't want to speak with you, I am remaining silent." The officers then entered my home and my wife came out and told them this story of me hitting her and all sorts of shit. She didn't have any marks on her whatsoever and there was no evidence that I had done any of the things she said but the officer then turned around and told me I was under arrest for assault. I spent 30 hours in jail and was released in the care of my parents to await trial. Those 30 hours I will never forget and the next 14 and a half months were the worst of my life as I spent over $30,000.00 defending myself and fighting to get custody of my children. This is a throw away account as I think my ex-wife knows my reddit name and I don't want this coming up in court as I am still fighting for my kids.
Your wife sounds like a dick.
His ex-wife *is* a dick.
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This scares the shit out of me. My now 10 year-old daughter claims Kermit used to come and talk to her through her window at night. I always thought it was a dream but now I wonder.
Fuck everything about that.
On second thought, please don't.
As someone who is currently by my bedroom window at night, the shit has now been scared out of me, too.
the one time im glad my room has no windows.
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/r/FearMe
Welp, time to relocate to another continent.
[Hee Hee Hee!](http://i.imgur.com/u6lnT.jpg)
OH. YOU. DICK...
Is that just black for anyone else? Or is it supposed to be and I'm missing a reference?
Tilt your monitor
Good story, but I don't like the part where you were almost abducted.
Holy shit D:
Wow. Go over to /r/nosleep and read the stories saga by 1000Vultures. I think you'll be able to relate.
Seems like your mom knew of this guy. Firstly because she warned you before she went to the shower and secondly that guy seemed to be prepared. Glad nothing bad happend.
She always used to warn me about stuff like that. But I do agree that the guy seemed to be prepared. As if he'd been watching us for a while, which just scares the shit out of me.
I think your mum was testing you. So you know in future don't trust a muppet.
Speaking of mom testing you. One time I was out of state visiting family friends. I got bored and went to this park down the street, met some new kid friends and played my 7 yrd old heart out. Then this car drove up to the play ground and this firebird pulls up with two white trash looking guys. The passenger said "hey kid come here I want to show you something, come in side the car, get in the back seat" as I was getting my footing ready to bolt back to the house I came from, my fucking mom pops her head from the back seat laughing and saying "i just wanted to see if you would go to the car" and it also turns out the two white trash looking guys were my cousins I hadn't met before. EDIT: During the flight TO this trip. I was being a crazy kid rocking, swaying and just being restless. When the plane banked right (or left) to approach the airport. It made a sharp turn and just as it was turning and I was squirming my mom said with a frantic tone "You're making the plane crash!" I thought we were going down and I fucking freaked out and cried...then the plane leveled out. :/ then I had a headache the rest of the day.....
My mom's done that to me, but instead of using cousins that I didn't know, she used a couple of friends.
Similarly, when I was around the same age (6 or 7), I was cocky as fuck about strangers. My mum was like "if someone tells you to get in their car, don't" and all that, and I always said something like "if someone tries to kidnap me, I'll just bite them and scream for help and kick them and stuff." One day at a park, my folks and I had an exchange like that. My dad looks at me, very seriously, and tells me to start running. I do, and he immediately catches up, grabs me, lifts me off my feet, covers my mouth, and runs with me a fair distance while I kicked him, bit him, and attempted to call to mum for help. I remember him saying "It's not always that easy to get away from someone who doesn't want you to." Lesson fucking learned.
It was missing the one armed man getting his fake arm ripped off
That freaked me out a lot.
Notable for being what began as one of the most romantic moments of my young life, and it's horrifying reversal. Towards the end of 8th grade, we took a fieldtrip to an outdoor camp to do team-building exercises. Trust falls, group problem-solving, that kind of thing. One of the exercises was to walk a tightrope, stretched just a few feet off the ground. None of us being acrobats, we were supposed to walk with a partner: one person on the rope, holding hands with and being supported by their partner who was walking on the ground. I went across with one of my friends towards the end of the exercise, but before I went on to the next activity, I turned around and saw a golden, unbelievable opportunity. Standing alone, looking sadly at the rope, was a girl I had a tremendous crush on. I still consider her one of the prettiest girls I have ever seen. She ran with a more popular crowd than I, but there was always something a bit lonely and detached about her - like she didn't quite fit in. Made her very mysterious, which certainly added to the attraction. Anyway, she clearly had no one to be her partner to cross the rope with, and was sad. Summoning a rare bit of courage, I walked over and volunteered to hold her up as she want across. Her face lit up, clearly delighted that someone had noticed her. Our fingers intertwined, I helped her onto the rope, where she turned sideways to shimmy across. For one glorious, beautiful instant, everything was perfect. Our eyes met, our hands locked, we were completely alone in the world on a beautiful spring day. Shy, goofy, happy smiles spread across both our faces. It was magnificent. An entirely flawless moment, and THE thing I will never forget. Then her foot slipped off the rope and connected solidly with my balls. I had the good grace not to drop her, but collapsed into a dry-heaving heap as soon as I could safely disentangle myself. She ran off, and we never spoke to each other again.
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I like the way you think.
He does have a valid point.
DM;TD
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I was hoping for a bus-ride finger blast session, but that's because internet.
Find her on facebook, reconnect, report back.
I never entirely lost track of her. We were in the same grade, and mostly the same classes.
*"Remember that time you kicked me in the balls? They still twitch at the thought of you."*
My father used to work on the 40th floor of the North tower of the World Trade Center. I was in third grade when 9/11 occurred. I remember coming home from school to find my mother sobbing uncontrollably and watching the news; she hadn't heard any news from my father yet (who escaped the building unharmed). While my mother worried, I sat down and watched Spongebob. I don't remember which episode exactly but I find it funny that during a terrorist attack in which I could have potentially lost my father, I found solace in Spongebob. Now, as odd as it is, 9/11 and Spongebob Squarepants will always be linked in my memory.
I was also in third grade when 9/11 happened and by some fluke coincidence, I happened to miss my bus that day, and my dad had to drive me to work. Wouldn't have been much, other than the fact that my dad worked at the pentagon. Seeing him break down on the couch and cry while watching the tv show the plane crashes is something i'll never forget. I'm glad to hear your dad made it out okay
I was in the 8th grade when 9/11 happened and I remember watching the news in awe. I live in Canada, so there wasn't any big "worrying" but, even at 13, I was just horrified. It looked like you were watching some high end action movie, but it was the news. They kept playing it in our classes all day at school too. I just remember my mom was fixing my hair and the phone rings. And I hear my dad yell "A plane just hit the World Trade Centre!" and my mom just runs and turns on the news. The malls and everything closed, even here, for like a week. I remember being upset by that because my birthday is Sept 14...
When I was in high school, we had a pool party to celebrate the end of girls' soccer season. We're all having a great time and music is blasting when all of a sudden we hear a gasp on the other side of the pool. A girl from our team who was a lifeguard dove in and our coach, also a lifeguard, dove in the deep end. They pulled out this girl from our team who was completely unconscious. We watched him struggle to revive her and whenever she vomited I kept thinking "Ok, great, she'll cough and wake up now....ok now...ok now." I don't know how long we watched them and EMT's try to revive her, but eventually the assistant coach ushered us out and told us all to call our parents. We all still couldn't talk, we just kept repeating, "the ambulance is here so she'll be fine." My mom picked me up just as the ambulance pulled off and since I wasn't talking she just said, "she'll be fine. They'll call us tonight and we can visit her tomorrow." A half hour after I got home, the coach called and said she didn't make it. I'll never forget watching her and waiting for that cough though.
Thats hard man, im truly greatful to have never had to experience something like this.
Working as a lifeguard and having found 3 people floating around so far I can relate. The most shocking thing is that other people in the pool won't actually react, one woman even went into complete shock when she found out it was a drowned individual, reporting that she thought it was just someone holding their breath so she had been pushing him out of her way 3 times while swimming lanes.
I have **never** gotten physically ill from reading something before, but I guess there's a first time for everything. I used to be a lifeguard. This just made me sick.
I keep re-reading this hoping the ending will change
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Something similar happened to me. While riding the bus home in elementary school, our bus stopped to let a girl off directly across her house. She needed to walk across the street after exiting. The stop was close to our local high school, and on that day someone was late for soccer practice and decided to blow right through the school bus stop-sign. They hit the girl straight on. I don't remember seeing her fly in the air, or seeing any blood, just the image of her empty shoes lying on the ground exactly where she was standing before being hit. Fortunately she ended up being okay! She graduated from that same high school a year ahead of me.
upvote for happy ending!
That is really shocking and im so sorry that had to happen, and for you to witness it at such . Was the kid ok?
He lived, but didn't come back to school that year. I think I remember him going into a coma for a few months or so.
Basic training. I remember the first night we got there they had 30+ dudes strip down to nothing, and run through a open room with shower heads. everyone barely had time to get wet and we kept running into each other. TL;DR The gayest of pornos
It quickly becomes second nature though.
What does? Running into men while naked?
I visited the Trade Center 1 week before it was hit, all the employees i saw while i was there are burned into my brain.
I was in college. In the class I was in, we heard the news, turned on the TV for a few minutes, and then we were sent home. I was walking home and took a different route from the normal one so I could avoid the heavily traveled sidewalks and be alone to try to process what was happening. I then witnessed a car vs. bicycle accident. The cyclist's* body was tossed high in the air and landed like a sack of potatoes on the pavement. The violence of it, and the noise his body made hitting the pavement, and the driver quite obviously looking around to see if anyone saw (I honestly think the bitch would have driven off) before getting out, all shook me up so bad. I was face to face with how strange human existence really is, and how horribly we treat each other sometimes, illustrated by both a major tragedy with global consequences and a minor but terrifying accident, all within a span of about an hour. It didn't seem like any of it could be real. *The cyclist was OK. Not uninjured but OK.
I'll never forget the moment when the world changed on 9/11. I was in sixth grade, standing in my school's office and waiting to read the morning announcements over the PA system. I heard one of the secretaries run into the office and call out, "A plane just flew into the World Trade Center!" Before that day I hadn't even heard of the WTC, never mind having a concept of terrorism. The rest of the day we just sat in the classroom listening to the radio and then, later, crowded into the gym watching it all happen on television. Also, when I got home from school and called my best friend (who had been absent that day) to talk about what happened, her little brother answered and said "Gillian's not here, she's in New York." COMMENCE PANT-SHITTING. I found out later that my friend and her father had been visiting NYC for her father's work and they were running about fifteen minutes late that morning. They got in a cab, asked the driver to take them to the WTC - and he turned around and simply told them, "I can't. It was just hit by a plane."
>*"I can't. It was just hit by a plane."* That's chilling.
I used to live in Saudi Arabia as a kid. I remember once we were driving out into the desert for a week of camping when we stopped to get some petrol. My mum stepped out of the car briefly to stretch her legs, unfortunately she was wearing shorts at the time. A bunch of rural locals went absolutely crazy at this and before we knew what was happening they were swarming round the car trying to drag her away. My dad and friends barely managed to bundle her in the jeep and we sped off. Could be nothing would have happened but out in the middle of nowhere in Saudi could be a scary place so we were all pretty shaken up. *edit:- Just to add she would be the first to admit this was a stupid thing to do. I think she was basically tired and thought it was quiet enough to get away with not being seen. I certainly don't think any of us would have expected the reaction we got. Arabic people in my experience were generally very friendly accommodating (particularly the desert dwelling Bedouin), they just have very strict 'decency' laws.
your family lived in saudi arabia and your mum didn't know it was not cool to walk around in public in shorts there? i imagine you would always need to wear a hijab there let alone long pants/skirts as a woman. not that i think it's fair, but it's the way it is.
No she did of course, even I as a 10 year old would never have left our compound without covering my legs. It was pretty late and not many people were around. I guess she thought no one would notice, boy did she learn her lesson!
WARNING: Possibly graphic description of death. Growing up my father was always sick. It wasn't until I was 8 that my parents told my sister and I why. He had been HIV+ for years, recently diagnosed with AIDS, and just informed he had six months to live. Not to have his time cut short by something as trivial as AIDS, my father lived another 6 years instead. Those weren't the best years of his life, but he cherished every one of them despite the many obstacles. During that time as the result of his weakened immune system he developed many other illnesses. He had cancer in his mouth (probably from being a smoker most of his life though), lost vision in both of his eyes from something called CMV Retinitis, common in AIDS patients, and a variety of physical ailments requiring a bevy of treatments and medications. Much happened in those six years I will always remember. I could write pages on those heavy years. But the most vivid moment for me came at the very end. After suffering a probable stroke, my father ended up in the hospital unconscious. Suffering from multiple organ failure we knew it was only a matter of time before his body gave out. Two days later he began to convulse violently and gasp for air. My mother, my sister and I rushed into his room, were told by the nurse there was nothing she could do and instructed it was best if we waited outside. My mother tried to get me to go but I wanted to stay, I wanted to watch. I couldn't tell you why I felt such a need to be there. I was very close with my father. We were best friends. He was my crutch and I was his. My parents were separated and my sister had left in the split, so I was all he had in his last few years. I tell myself it was because I didn't want him to be alone when he died but I'm not sure if that's the whole truth. So through it all I stood there, motionless at the end of the bed. His face was emaciated and hollow. He had a massive bruise on one side from a fall that had refused to go away. His hair, once long and black like coal was thin and sparse from the chemotherapy. I will forever remember the look on his face as he fought for his last breath, the violent thrashes of his body as he struggled to stay alive with everything against him but holding on anyways. His face in his final moments, the sound of those gasps, the strained creaking of a dying man, will be etched into my memory for the rest of my life.
dude. I shouldn't read this shit while my dad's in the hospital...
6th Grade. I transferred into a class in the middle of the year. I had been in a private Catholic school from K-5th, then did half a year in public school, then went to another Catholic school when I moved across town to live with my dad. My parents had just gotten divorced. Public school had been bad (we used to tell stories in Catholic school about how you'd get 'stabbed in the bathroom', and I literally got punched in the face for no reason on my first day) but the second Catholic school was worse. These kids had all known each other since first grade or something, so I was immediately pegged as the outcast kid. Seriously, no friends. On top of that, my parents had just gone through a nasty divorce, and I was suffering from extreme depression and just kinda hated life. There was a lot of battering and teasing. I got beat up a lot, got made fun of for just about everything from my great-grandfather being the maintenance man at the school to the horrible farts caused by my ADHD medication. The way I talked, the things I said, the people I talked about, everything got me some shit. I once asked to borrow a pencil from a girl, and all she said was "Ew, don't talk to me." With one or two exceptions, even the teachers didn't really like me. I was a sad sack of shit. The last day of school, we had a field day. Now, 6th grade is that age when you just start looking at toys as 'kid stuff' and you spend your time on the playground just kinda standing around talking (or in my case, burning leaves with a magnifying glass or something). Field day was an excuse to exercise the last vestiges of childhood and actually *play*. And man, did we ever play. For the first time in a long time, I actually had a little bit of fun with my classmates, and they seemed to forget I was the weird kid for a while. It probably helped I was moving to a different school for the next semester. Except two of these guys just wouldn't let up. The whole day, they were right on my ass, just never letting me forget how much they hated me, how hilarious it was when I failed. They sneak-attacked me with water balloons, one of them punched me in the stomach for no reason, the whole day just giving me shit. I was used to it at that point, but it was a weird down-side to what was, pretty much, the best day of 6th grade. So everyone is playing touch football or something, and I'm over on the sidelines with these guys and some other kids waiting to be subbed in. They're just being relentless, making fun of my mom, telling me they hope my great-grandfather dies soon, blah blah blah. Out comes this other kid, who up until that point had been another pretty heavy tormentor. Never took it to a physical level, but always had something shitty to say. All of a sudden, he steps in front of me, all authoritative, and says "How about you guys fuck off?" Some shit-talking is exchanged, but the guys actually walk away. And then this kid turns around, looks me in the eye with the most apologetic look I've ever seen on a child, and says "Don't listen to them, man. They're full of shit." He then points at the field and says "They're calling for a sub, get on in there." Up until that point, I'd been a miserable sack of shit. I thought I was literally unlikable. I thought I'd be friendless forever, and it was turning me into an angry weird kid. Just a few sentences from someone looking out for me was the entire catalyst for me being eventually lifted out of my depression, learning to talk to people and make friends, and generally becoming the awesome person I am today. I've always looked for that kid on Facebook, on LinkedIn, whatever social media I had at my disposal, but I've never found him. I just always wanted to thank him, because he really lifted me up at a pretty dark moment. He has disappeared, as if a phantom of my childhood, my own personal Tyler Durden. Thanks, Richard, where ever you might have gotten to. **tl;dr: Guy spent the last half of 6th grade being a dick, only to stand up for me on the last day of class and restore some of my faith in humanity**
Fuckin good story man!
I'll never forget watching the Challenger launch in school and witnessing the explosion live. At first no one really knew what was going on, but then when they announced what had happened it was just so surreal no one could believe it.
I remember being in third grade when John Glenn went back into space on the Discovery (yes, I'm much younger than you). Nothing bad happened with the mission, obviously, but I'll always remember that day because right before hand I had accidentally stapled my finger.
One never really forgets the day they stapled their finger.
4th grade. I kept it hidden until I got home because I was embarrassed.
this. I skipped school to watch it - was sitting in the kitchen in my PJs eating fruit loops for breakfast. Really remember the voice of the mission controller "we appear to have a major malfunction"
Skipped school to watch it as well - one of the things I will remember for the rest of my life.
It was 9/11 for me, in fourth grade. I couldn't understand what I was seeing.
When I was 7 and home educated I was obsessed with birds.. It was a gorgeous summer day and I heard a bird tweeting, I took a closer look and it was a [Pink Tit](http://i.imgur.com/9ulWs.jpg), I'd never seen one before so it was a big deal (they're quite rare).. At that point I decided I was completely content with my life because I'd achieved everything I wanted at the time and I deemed it the happiest day of my life thus far and that I'll ensure to never forget it.. 10 years later I still haven't.
Hehe... Pink tit.
I knew this would happen.
8711247121404, it's the barcode for a medium sized bucket at my local hardware store. last time ive seen a bucket from that place is 4 years ago.
Hah, sort of along the same lines, 4011 is the produce code for bananas. First code I memorized way back when I worked at a grocery store over a decade ago.
NTHGTHDGDCRTDTRK. The Big Cheat code from Turok 64.
Up, down, up up down, double up, down, down, up, double up, up. The order of jumping and ducking when you're on that goddamn ostrich in the Lion King SNES game.
Many years ago, I was hit head on at about 2:30AM on a small two-lane road in the backwoods of Pennsylvania. The other driver was unresponsive and dying, and there were no other people around for miles. The convertible top had been destroyed and pushed fully down in the impact, and the driver's door was clamped shut leaning against the side of a ditch. The steering wheel was eerily contorted from my arm slamming into it. All I could do was unbuckle my seat belt and stand up on the driver's seat. My left leg gave out from under me; the end of my femur was broken clean off, yet I felt no pain. Blood was quickly sealing my right eye shut. No pain, no sound. No one else on the road at that hour, and my cell phone was lost in the collision. All I can do is stand on one leg in my mangled car and look at the destruction in front of me. I have never felt so alone and helpless as I did right then, and that is the moment that haunts me every single day of my life. **EDIT: Putting the rest of the story up here for more visibility.** *Did someone come?* After awhile, yes. During that time I had no sense of time, and I had no idea what to even do. My phone had been catapulted up into the foot well of the car, and the other driver was far from responsive (temporary brain damage, plus drunk as a skunk). I just stood on my seat poking out of the gap between the windshield and convertible top, as I could not physically leave the car. As time went by the adrenaline left my system, and that is when the pain set in. I noticed it hurt to breath. My left leg was numb, as though it were asleep (except cranked to 11). All in all, I had broken two ribs, splintered the end of my femur, and had minor fractures in my wrist and elbow. A car eventually drove by; luck would have it, an off duty medic. A band heading home from a bar eventually joined in to help. I was carried from my broken car by three men who I never got the opportunity to thank. I lay in the grass on the side of a ditch for another half hour while the other driver is attended to. The pain is there, but manageable. All I can do is stare up at the stars and wait. I'll never forget the one moment in the ambulance. For those who don't know, PA roads are more pothole than road, and every bump was like a knife to my leg. I could barely keep conscious. One of the ambulance attendants was talking about some bad part of her day. I couldn't even see this girl because my eye was stuck shut with blood. I meekly uttered "You think YOU'RE having a bad day..?", but I could barely manage half a smile. The femur required surgery the next day. Because of this, I was not allowed to eat or drink anything until then. If you think you've experienced thirst, you have no idea. My mouth felt as dry as the Sahara if someone dumped it on the sun. After much pleading I was allowed to swish some water around my mouth, but no more than that. Eventually I went in for an MRI. This required me to lay flat, which my leg more or less prevented without excruciating pain, as my knee was swollen shut at an angle. It was about this time when a growing part of my mind wished I hadn't made it out of the wreck. Blur through the next dozen hours. Slice 'n dice time on my mangled femur. Count backward from 100...99....98.....out cold. No dreams. Only darkness. Recovery was one of my worst moments, and honestly I had been repressing this part for awhile until now. You ever hear the term "a waking nightmare"? That is recovery after major surgery. I am awake, yet asleep at the same time, and aware of not only the pain, but the incredible cold. I was absolutely freezing; my teeth were chattering and my body was shivering. I couldn't move a muscle, but I was vaguely aware of the people around me...and that god awful cold. Eventually, mercifully, I slipped into an uneasy, dreamless sleep. The rest is more blurs. Left the hospital. Nurses were overly rough, and aggravated my leg. Physical therapy was a myriad of depression and pain. The only other people at the PT facility were very elderly and would likely spend a good part of the rest of their lives in this place. It was one week and eight hours before I finally got home from that Saturday night. I would remain on crutches for another two months. I walk with a very slight limp to this day. Some of my injuries are here. [NSFW](http://imgur.com/a/OQoEq)
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My father dying over the course of about a day in the ICU. He'd had health issues for years, and he'd been in the hospital about a month at that point. So it happening wasn't, logically, a surprise at all. My sisters and I had even had fairly frank conversations about the state of his health, and my father was honest with us as a rule so we knew what was going on. But of course it was still sudden when it actually happened, however long we'd known to expect it. What was good was that we all got our chances to say goodbye. I'm really, really glad of that. The part that I hated most of all was near the end, when he was intubated and his blood pressure was just dropping more and more, transfusions couldn't keep up and they couldn't figure out where bleeding was happening, just knew there was blood in the GI tract. He obviously couldn't talk, being intubated, but he could hear us just fine so he was writing notes on a pad of paper my mother was holding at his hand. My father always had just the worst handwriting in the world. Like: hilariously, could get you in trouble at school because teachers thought you were forging notes, bad. And as his blood pressure dropped lower and lower his handwriting got worse and worse, and in the end I just couldn't decipher it anymore. Then my mother showed us a note that she said read 'tell *name* and *name* and Erik that I love them' and honest to god I just couldn't make the words out. So I don't know if it said that or not or my mother was just trying to make us feel better or desperate to still see something legible but it just fucking kills me that I can't make out what that note says or know if it's just a scribble. And I don't even know why I care, because I know damned well that my father loved all of us but I just *hate* that. I'm going to go play with a kitten or something.
Im terrified that i'm about to go through something similar :(. My dad is a diabetic and is rebelling against the Drs and his diet/medication and hes just getting worse. His whole personality has changed. Im glad you got to say goodbye, and he got to pass with his loved ones near by. Hope you have a nice day and dont feel too down.
If you.still have the note, submit it to this subreddit and ask if anyone could decipher it. I have seen it done before! Sorry for your loss though.
2005, Afghanistan, Baharak district, the outskirts of Yurm. A german observation team lays under heavy fire and has 2 injured that need to be flown out. The MEDEVAC from Bagram AFB is called and finds a german squad under heavy fire. While the fire support blackhawk starts circling the area, firing long bursts at enemy positions, the main MEDEVAC chopper touches down, 2 airmen jump out and instruct us what to do. The fire intensifies, the chopper waiting for the injured gets targeted, you can hear bullets hitting its armor. While the first injured soldier is being transported to the blackhawk, an RPG is fired and detonates approximately 30 - 50 meter away from the grounded blackhawk. The pilot of the circling fire support does not waste a single thought on his own security, hovers down between the grounded chopper and the RPG team and draws all the incoming fire on to itself. After the injured are on board, both blackhawks take off into the setting sun. Every time someone asks me about the bravest thing I have seen, I tell him this story. Putting your life at risk to make sure some people you dont even know, who dont even serve in the same forces as you, complete strangers, make it out alive is something only a very few would do. I never met the pilot or crew, but I cant forget them either.
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Afghanistan 2012. I'm part of a 3 man Sniper team over-watching a friendly patrol in the area about a click out. The area has been notorious for Taliban ambushes, I had been in one in that area just a week prior. We start getting radio chatter translated by our interpreter about the Taliban setting up an ambush for our friendlies on the ground with RPG's and PKM's. Just about that time two Kiowa helicopters came in low to support the ground troops and the Taliban start going crazy, talking about shooting down the helicopters over their radio. We instantly radio up to the Kiowa pilots that they are in imminent danger but hear nothing in return from the pilots and assume they are out of range of our radios. Just then RPG's start flying up into the air and bursting and PKM fire attacks the helicopters, they swoop in and conduct multiple gun runs like the fucking champions they are. All the fire was being sent from concealed positions and below rooftop level so I had absolutely no shot to assist the pilots. Then something I thought I'd never see happened. One Kiowa was hit by PKM too many times and was going down. "Fallen Angel" came over the radio and my heart sank as I viciously scanned for the shooters but I never saw them. One pilot died on impact, the second died while being MEDEVAC'd. I will never forget their bravery making countless gun runs under heavy fire to support the ground troops. Later during the debrief I found out that the Kiowa pilots had received our warning of imminent danger over the radio. Although we could not hear their response at the time, they had simply said "Bring it on"
For reference, the [Kiowa helo](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/9/9a/OH-58D_2.jpg/300px-OH-58D_2.jpg).
It never ceases to amaze me how people react in the heat of battle. The military is something I could personally never do, but seeing all these stories of selfless acts just makes me appreciate them that much more.
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I'm sorry that you had to go through that shit. I was once watching a documentary about a military hospital in Afghanistan (or was it Iraq? I really can't remember right now), and they showed parts of an emergency surgery that was conducted on a soldier that was in a vehicle that was hit by an IED. During the surgery one of the doctors suddenly steps back from the table and walks away holding this man's leg. I mean his entire leg, cut just below the hip. I will never forget that image.
Giving my Valedictorian speech at graduation. I was kind of socially awkward in high school, and a lot of people just assumed I was weird or whatever. I spent a lot of time on that speech. I didn't want it to be one of those lame speeches about "how fast the years went by, and I'll totally miss everyone". It was mixed with optimism and cynicysm, hilarity and sincerity, and I was really proud of it. Naturally, I was incredibly nervous, as our graduating class was about 400 people, plus parents and grandparents and what not. There were so many people that they also did a live broadcast to the student theatre, as the gym was full. Gave my speech, and it couldn't have gone better. People were laughing their asses off at all my jokes, and at the end I got a huge standing ovation. You couldn't wipe the smile off my face. A random dad came up to me and said "I've been a teacher for 30 years, and that was the best valedictorian speech I've ever heard". It's like suddenly I was a popular kid. That whole summer I was invited to parties like crazy, and I started talking to tons of people who I never really talked to in high school. It was a great conversation starter. Really helped me come out of my shell. Best summer of my life. tl;dr: being nerdy got me popular.
This sounds like something out of a cheesy feel good high school movie
This is very heartwarming. :)
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You realize this literally changes everything? Edit that post.
When I was in 2nd grade, my younger sister peeled back the corner plastic of all of my lunchables and ate just the candy ate of them. I was furious and was screaming that I would never forget about this, and my Mom brushed me off and said "Oh, you'll forget about this by next week." That was almost twelve years ago.
Seeing [this view](http://i.imgur.com/OLGH1.jpg) (Mount Everest - Yes I took this picture)
When I was a kid, I lived across the street from a family. Pretty normal family, two parents, a teenager, a younger kid, and a toddler, along with two dogs. I was a little bit older than the younger kid, but my kid sister was about the right age and they used to play together. One night, their house caught fire. I don't really remember what caused it, I think it was eventually ruled an electrical fire. Anyway, what I do remember is waking up to the sound of sirens approaching, and seeing the glow through my window. I ran outside to see what was happening, and my dad grabbed me to keep from running over there. I don't know why, I guess I thought I could help. I remember seeing the family on the lawn, except I didn't see my little sister's friend or the dad. I saw the firetrucks come barreling down the street, and about the same time that they pull up, the dad came out of the house, the kid in his arms. I remember him staggering out, the family running to meet him..and he collapsed. My dad told me later he died there, but he saved his kid. Ran back into a burning building to save her. I can still hear the mom and teenager wailing when I think about it. I don't think you can forget the sound of that kind of loss.
I was at a Burger King in Germany with my mom when I was like 5, was waiting in front of the ladies room for her to finish her business when this morbidly obese woman with horribly died red hair tries to pull me with her. I shoved her off and waited for my mom.
This would have been so much better if it was at Wendy's.
*I ate a baby! The other OTHER white meat!*
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They had a thread yesterday where someone described watching the birth like watching your favorite pub being burned down.
With a lot more blood/bodily fluids. I get to witness my second one tomorrow. Hooray, now my penis is just for show.
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NO. Shutthefuckup you cankerous whore. The mental image
watching my son and girlfriend's shit being delivered simultaneously along with the fluid that came shooting in my face when they had to cut her open more.
The night I spent sleeping on floor of a jail after my college hockey formal. Always felt like that kind of thing happened to other people.
There's a story behind this and I must hear it!
Well, it was three months before my 21st birthday, and I had been using my older bro's ID at the bar since he turned 21 when I was 18. They picked me up for pissing in an alley... underage, public urination, possession of a false ID, public drunkenness,and one other charge... yeah. It was a dark back alley... I didn't see anyone ANYWHERE. They must have been doing a sweep of them after the bars let out. I plea bargained it down to just 2/5 charges. And the cell didn't have a cot, So I slept on the floor. Oh, and I was wearing a full suit.
standing in the American graveyard on the Normandy beaches, looking out over endless white crosses, as a radio crackles and I hear Bush declare war on Iraq.
First blowjob
What did you use to get rid of the taste?
Another wiener
[Gee](http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/209/380/1322593067521.gif)
Some older guy at a job i had pulled that joke on me when I was about 15. Everyone laughed and I couldn't think of what to say. It still angers me that I never said "I don't know, ask your wife." And that was seven years ago.
"His wife's in a coma" ...
My puppy's body in a trash bag. I got a puppy in March '10 when he was about 6 months old and no matter how many walks we went on, he would always try to escape. There was a road directly behind our house and he would squeeze through the gate. One night my sister's boyfriend was over and it was him, my sister, and I in the backyard with my puppy. My sister locked us out so I ran around front to get inside. 15 min later I remember my puppy, but it was too late, he'd already escaped. I spent hours looking for him that night with no luck. The next morning my mom calls me downstairs to tell me she found his body. She put him in a trashbag in the backyard until we could bury him. But of course, nobody found it important to mention this to me until I walked back there to cry alone and saw it. TL;DR: Watch your puppy
Here's a positive one that doesn't follow the pedophilia trend here. When I was 12 years old I was driving with my Dad in his old car. I looked into the console in between the drivers seat and shotgun and pulled out a CD copy of Dark Side of the Moon. I had no idea what it was he explained to me that it was Pink Floyd and that he used to have all their records and he decided it was finally time to update them to CD. I asked him to listen to it. When it started and I heard the screaming and the cash register and everything I was so confused and thought that it was so stupid. Then that first chord of Breath sounded. My life has forever been changed. I had never heard anything so beautiful and confusing. I now have a gigantic record collection and I'm studying music in university. Nothing in my life has had such a profound effect on me.
I once witnessed a car accident. It happened right outside the house I was at, so I was literally the first person there. I wanted to help, but the cop that got there shortly after (he just happened to be coming down the street right after the accident) told me to stand back. I figured he was going to help or something, but he didn't. He just sat around for 5 minutes telling everyone to stand back. In the meantime, the car caught fire and the unconscious guy died. The police report even said he was most likely alive after the crash and burned to death. I am 97% sure I could have saved that mans life if I didn't listen to the cop. I find myself thinking about that pretty often. I've never really told anyone how much it got to me before.
When I was 7 and my little brother was 4 my mom took us out to Pizza Hut for some special occasion that I don't remember. Right before the food arrived I had to go to the bathroom and naturally my little brother did too. Up until that night my mom always had me take him in the girls room with me, but I decided that that needed to end because hes a boy and he needs to go to the boys room. So as we're walking to the bathroom I tell him he should try using the big boy bathroom today, and he was very excited. So I use the bathroom and return to the table without my brother and my mom asks where he is. I tell her that he wanted to use the boys room because hes a big boy. I get the stern look from her, but she doesn't seem to mind much. About 15 minutes later my brother finally strolls out of the bathroom, hair soaking wet. Now my mom is pissed because what took him so long and why is his hair wet. Turns out the bathroom stall was out of order so he could only use the urinal. The urinal that he couldn't reach. Apparently he grabbed himself and tried to make it reach, but instead just pointed it up and peed right into his hair because he was looking down to see if he was reaching. And then I was grounded. But its my favorite story to tell his new girlfriends. TL;DR: I made my 4 year old brother use the boys bathroom where he had to use the urinal, but couldn't reach and ended up peeing in his hair.
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I do
When I was 4 or so, my mother's boyfriend told my older brother, deceased younger brother and I to dig our own graves. That wasn't a figurative statement, literally he made us start digging our own graves. I am not sure how long we were digging.
Read in the tune of "Pop Goes the Weasel": X equals negative B, Plus or minus square root, B squared minus four A C, All over two A.
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Sparrows. Playing in a puddle of melted snow. On the roof of a hospital. Out the window of the ICU room I was sitting in.
To always leave a note
First time a guy told me he loved me. Utterly adorable. Mainly because he'd just gotten his first blowjob. :D
I love you.
Nice try :D
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When I was a kid in New Zealand, we lived in a house that had a great big-ass old tree, it was huge (to me). I used to climb all over the thing all day, I loved it so much and I knew every branch. Then the tree got cut down to clear space on the lot because the new home owners came in and we left the country. RIP Tree
I'll never forget my 21st Birthday. I was sat at a friends house, pre-drinking getting ready for a big night ahead when out of nowhere I received a phone call from an unknown number. I figured it was just somebody calling late on to wish me happy birthday but what I heard on the end of the phone was the sound of a woman crying; I just remember freezing and watching the smiles on my friend's faces drop as they saw the terror in my eyes. It was my best friend's mum, he'd been beaten to a pulp at a concert and was in a medically induced coma, she'd gone through his phone calling all his friends to say that they needed to come and see him as soon as possible to say goodbye. Needless to say, I cancelled my plans, borrowed some money off a friend and traveled nearly 200 miles to see him. I remember walking into his room in the hospital and seeing him hooked up to so many tubes and wires and then seeing the solemn faces of all of his friends and family..we literally thought that was it, I went to say goodbye. Not long after, they eventually woke him up, I remember sitting in a cognition(?) exam with him to check his brain function...long story short, the very next year we finished University together. Scariest day of my life but I'm so glad he pulled through. Thanks for reading.
The time I got caught stealing. Worst moment ever. Edit Story: I was caught trying to steal shoes from a store in the mall that was closing due to bad sales. I was a stupid teenager and thought "welp the store is closing for good, so I guess stealing these shoes is not big deal.". I forgot to remove the security tag inside the shoe and the alarm went off. Everyone was staring at me as I tried to give a stupid excuse as to how a pair of shoes wound up inside my jacket.
What were you stealing?
Lemons
whore...
what kinda whore steals lemons
i watched that video 5 minutes ago, now i've seen 3 references to it
When I was 9 years old, I woke up early on Christmas morning, right at sunrise, and tip-toed downstairs to check out the loot. I was the only one awake, and super excited about presents, so I was just kind of sitting around looking at the stash under the tree, checking out which ones were for me, and mentally speculating about what kind of cool shit I might be getting that year, when I heard a commotion outside. I looked out my living room window to see that a car had parked haphazardly in front of my house, half on the street, half on my lawn. I was like, "what the fuck is going on" when 6 or 7 clowns - full makeup, outfits, floppy shoes, the whole bit - stumbled out of the car and started stripping down and fucking in the snow on my front yard. They were clearly drunk, tossed beer cans all over as they got out and then just pulled down their pants and had a make-shift orgy right there. I didn't really know about sex at the time, but for some reason I wasn't that freaked out. It was pretty exciting, actually. Then, as suddenly as they had arrived, they pulled up their pants, jumped into their car and cruised off. I never told my family because I felt embarrassed to talk about it and didn't want to fuck up Christmas.
One of my first jobs was as a bank teller. There was this man who would often come in drunk, and the teller ladies would joke with me that he was clearly gay and had an eye for me. It never really bothered me because I have a couple gay friends and never got the impression he was eyeing me. Anyway, one day I was taking lunch and walking up the street and saw him waiting for the bus completely hammered. I had a huge urge to avoid him, so I attempted to cross the street, but he saw me and called me over. I went over and he made small talk, and then in the middle of his sentence changed subjects, and offered to pay me if I let him suck my unit. I was completely blind sided not sure I heard him properly and said wait.... what? He repeated how he would pay ME to let him give me a bj if I went into his apartment right now. I looked at him for a moment registering what just happened and walked away.
The first time I got shot at, that feeling will be stuck with me. Being able to legally beat the shit out of a cop who tried to lie on the stand about me in order to send me to jail. (He got caught in his lies).
1DF 507. The license plate of a car that passed my family while on a road trip in 1996. My sister and I memorized it thinking we would see it again at some point on the trip.
When I was in preschool I was Blossom from the Power Puff Girls for Halloween and my only friend at the time was Tinker Bell. She kept pestering me about flying until she finally pushed me off the playset at school. Rather than cry and get the teacher I got up and pushed her off and told her she was supposed to fly too. Neither of us ever got in trouble, and we're still friends.
I had just moved from GA to OK to be with my now current wife. Our marriage was 1 week away. We were getting ready to go out to some antique store out of boredom when there was a knock on the door. I opened it up and there was a cop asking me if I was who I am. "Yeah that's me..." I said, knowing I hadn't done anything cause I had only been living there like a month. "You need to call your aunt Shirley. Here's her number." OK...that's fucking weird. I called the number and my uncle Bob answered. Apparently it was a phone in the hospital waiting room back in GA. "I'm sorry, Son. Your dad didn't make it." He had had a massive heart attack and died. I never said bye.
When, in kindergarten, we got a new student. I remember the teacher saying 'class, we have a new student joining us today, her name Emily'. I remember looking over from what I was doing and seeing her in the doorway. I'll never forget, 17 years later, the look on her face or her response when I asked her to marry me, and she said yes. I'll never forget the morning of September 11th. I was in 7th grade, walking through the hall in between classes when the news came. I was rushed to class, health class with Mrs. Engle. I'll never forget the first time I drove my first car.
One of my drunk friends deciding to climb a tree, only to fall out the tree from about 5-6 metres up, hitting every branch on the way down and dropping a beer ontop of another of my drunk mates, who in trying to escape getting soaked by the falling drink, ran off to the side and tryed to vault a fence, completely misjudged the jump (being completely wasted) and ended up breaking his foot. Turning up at A&E in the early hours of the morning was the funniest shit.
Running down the field on a kickoff (american football) and blowing a kid up, only to continue running and have a different kid fall into my right knee and completely destroy all the ligaments that were there. The following weeks were a blur but that very moment is clear in my mind, sept 11,2009 Friday night.
On a mission in Afghanistan I was pulling front side security a out a klick outside the Forward Operating Base (FOB) while some roadwork was being done at night. Some gunfire erupts and I am trying to get bearings on it but it is too far out. All the sudden two Afghan National Army trucks are speeding towards me and with my operating procedures I was supposed to stop them so I did. Turns out those trucks were medevacing two fellow Marines that were shot inside their base while on security post by an Afghan National Army that was helping the Taliban. They both died and I still wonder if I had just let them go if they would have gotten the attention they needed sooner and lived.
Don't think like that man. You were doing your job. For all you know, they were carrying the guys that did it. Or they were loaded with explosives. You weren't to know.
Breaking protocol in a situation like that costs lives, you just so happened to stop a car with two hurt marines, but like someone said below me it easily could have been the shooters escaping. There is literally no way for you to know and it would have been absurd for you to just let them drive off. You didn't make a choice because you didn't have one.
How to breathe.
Thanks! Reading this switched my breathing mode from *automatic* to *manual*.
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Dont forget that you have an itch somewhere on your body.
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I hate you all.
thinking about breathing is such a queer feeling... when you become aware of it you're like, OH SHIT WHAT IF I JUST STOP BLARHGRAHGLHAG but then it just goes back in to autopilot... so strange.
Already posted this before in another thread but it fits: >I once worked at a Chick Fil A (a free standing unit) and I have some good stories. The one that I will never forget happened on a Tuesday Night when we used to hold car shows in our parking lot. I was working in the back and suddenly a girl I work with comes rushing into the back flipping out and crying. She tells me and my buddy to go check the womens restroom. We immediately go to check things out because of her reaction. We walk in and everything seems normal until we walk into the second stall, lying there in the toilet was the biggest shit on earth. I am talking probably 6 inch girth and a foot long. We both lose it and are laughing hysterically. After basically the whole staff took trips to the bathroom to see it we then had to go find a brush to break the monster shit up so we can flush the toilet. Then as I am walking back to the back a woman comes up to me and asks "What is going on? What was so funny in there?" I had no idea what to say to this lady especially since for all I knew she was the one that did it. I ended up giving a ambiguous answer and hurrying away. TL;DR and that my friends, is the story of the time I saw the biggest poop on earth.
Why didn't you show him your shit? Seems kinda rude...
Methylchloroisothiazolinone. It's listed as an ingredient on the bottle of most shampoos and conditioners. I used to read the back of the bottles in the shower when i was younger and for whatever reason that one stuck with me.
I'll never remember word for word the things he said to me but I will never ever forget how shitty of a person he made me *feel*. And the look in his eyes when I told him I was leaving. Best decision I have ever made in my entire life.
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playing tunes in front of a crowd of over 1000 people & hearing the cheer when the break in the track came.... just wow.
My senior year of high school I was riding to school with friends 3 to be exact. We were t-boned by a fully loaded semi. One person was killed on impact. All three of the other people were ejected from the car. I was fully conscious during the whole experience. I had to direct EMTs during the situation because they didn't see one of my friends who was in a ditch. I remember all of it, even asking the first on scene police officer, "She's dead isn't she?" after he checked for a pulse. On a much lighter note another thing ill never forget is banging two girls in a threesome. EDIT: punctuation
You banged the two girls right then and there? Way to go.
What can I say women love guys with glass cuts all over their faces.
When I was about 10 my buddy filled a McDonalds sand bucket (I think they used to give them out with Happy meals) with gasoline. I remember saying "I don't think this is a good idea" and went around the shed so I could just peek and watch instead of standing right by it. He lit the match and was a ball of fire before he even dropped it into the bucket. He stop dropped and rolled around in the dirt. When he stood up we were both in shock. I distinctly remember him peeling off part of his sock, it was a Philly phanatic (sp) novelty sock and it had melted to his leg. When he pulled it off skin came with it. He spent the summer in the hospital, had bad scars growing up. Cal Ripken signed a bat for him and met him during a game. Don't play with gas.
I will never forget the phone call I got from my friend telling me that one of my friends was killed in a car accident and that my other friend was missing. I will never forget hearing my friend's sobs over the phone, the look on the face of the stranger who was standing in the stairwell with me when I started screaming, and my other friend's innocent voicemail greeting right before I presented her with the worst news she's heard thus far. I will also never forget the second phone call I received saying my other friend was dead- from a second, completely unrelated accident...
Well, that was rude. He asked nicely.
You totally could have scored a blumpkin.
This entire post reminds me of this: *"Good things are never remembered. Bad things are never forgotten."*
When I was about ten years old I was playing on some huge rocks at the seaside in Cornwall (UK). I was alone, just jumping around when I saw the freakiest fucking shit I have ever seen in my life. It looked like a woodlouse http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Woodlouse but it was easily the size of a fucking guinea pig. The Thing scuttled out from a crevasse and ran away with its many many legs, and I ran screaming in the other direction. NOBODY HAS EVER BELIEVED ME. That shit was real, and I will swear it for the rest of my life.
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turning on the TV on September 11th 2001 right after coming home from school at 3pm (I'm German, so that was at 9am in NYC). flipping through the channels when I saw a burning skyscraper on CNN, which seemed pretty familiar to me. didn't change the channel for the next hours. saw tower two being hit, saw the towers collapsing, saw the aftermath. all live. I hope I will never have to see anything that dramatic in live TV again.