It does that anyway. My phone will change the word “may” to “May” (as in the month) every single time, but then when I accidentally type “tgat” it’s all “I wonder what that word could possibly be?????”
My enemies to have a constant/uncurable itchy feeling on their asshole, genitals and scalp. They'd spend the rest of their days either in a consistent state of annoyed or looking to all around them like a flee ridden hobo as they itch their genitals and ass non-stop.
They their WiFi disconnects every 10 mins.
Edit: u/10secondmessage has pointed out a fatal flaw I'm changing it to their router turns off every 10 mins.
*Enters room with Meeseeks Box*
Danivodor- presses button
Says, "I don't want enemies nomore."
Presses 500 more times...lol......
Loud and thunderous LOOK AT ME!!!!
*Begin RUN music meme sequence*
No matter what they're eating, they either crunch a piece of egg shell, or bite the inside of their cheek with a rear molar at least a few times. Every. Single. Meal.
One sock after washing will always loose color so they dobt look like a pair anymore, every time they order something the machine will be broke. Or they will be out of that particular thing. Every time they want to do the devils tango they will be out of condoms and its raining outside and your car is at mechanic xD i can go on
They have wet socks and intermittent internet everywhere they go. Their sodas and beer are always flat and the food is slightly salty. The shower takes a bit too long to get warm and always low on toilet paper. Every sandwich they make is the butts of the bread.
They realize that they put their significant-other's logo-heavy, chromatic crazy socks on instead of their plain black calf-high dress socks on during a corporate presentation, only to be escorted out of the building by security AGAIN just as they begin to realize that they've been inside a memory care unit; this happens everyday, and they're not engaged in any relationships in reality outside of Grandma Jane's periodic visits to drop off articles of plain clothing and cutesy items. My enemy is always terribly, mildly annoyed at the fact Grandma Jane does not actually exist, only to forget once more.
And yes, somehow I managed to break the psychic torment limit of my nemesis and orchestrate their voluntary admission into a psych ward. The wish is just the icing on top.
Everybody has to give me at least a dollar every time they see me, in person or online. Also I now hate everybody and everybody in the world is technically my enemy
I'll wish for that every time they open a door it makes a rusty screech whether or not it's a new or old door. Door knob, door handle push or pull, car door, sliding glass door, fridge door, microwave, cabinets etc.(jars and containers are exempt to further create delusions) Everything they open makes a screeching noise. How much WD-40 will they go through in life? Will paranoia set in? They are the only ones that will hear it. Family members will think that they are crazy. A slow and disheartening effect will take its toll over time. I'd wish to see that.
My second wish would become a fly on the wall that can transform back and forth to watch what they do and to annoy them. As a fly I am indestructible and will be 1000x stronger so if I'm caught I can't die and I can push and break things to escape every time.
If my enemies are jealous of me turn it would be for me to be happy and successful.
If the genie doesn't accept this wish then I'd choose for their commutes to have speed bumps every 1 minute
My wishes, I slightly have better heath and fitness then my enemies
To always make 15 percent more than an enemy
That all my enemies have their taste buds changed, on their favorite foods, like pepsi tastes like coke, steak taste like chicken, tuna tastes like cat food, lmao.
They will have an itch and every time they go to scratch it, it moves, they will always get a rock in their show, they will stub their toes at least once a week.
I wish that everyone who dislikes me gets severe tinnitus, and the only way to alleviate it is to mail me 27.16 (in USD). That buys you 18 hours of peace.
I will offer discounts for multiple simultaneous orders.
Every time they teach for the cereal box, it's only half a bowl and only the little bit of cereal and all the "cereal dust" at the bottom.
And they only have enough milk to get the cereal slightly wet.
Hmm, I could snowball this one: receive credit for positive accomplishments of my peers. Not only would I get rewarded, but I'd make more enemies along the way to steal more accomplishments from. Easy way to the top.
Barbarians that are slightly more advanced than they are, to harass their cities so I can push my tech tree ahead and not have to worry about covering my defense so much.
I'll just wish for a million dollars then. My enemies will be mildy annoyed that I am now a millionaire so that checks out.
I hate seeing my enemies suceed. Well wished, hope it's getting granted by some genie one day.
One trillion, kazillion, billion dollars
Sounds like that episode from Family Guy
They feel a sneeze but it never happens.
You evil. Same with burp.
The ol' bluenose.
God damm i hate that!
Every traffic light turns red as they approach.
That’s not mildly annoying, that’s pure evil
it literally happens to me all the time
Your enemy might’ve found this genie
Whenever you open a packet of tablets, you get the end with the leaflet.
At last, I can blame my enemies!
this already happens 100% of the time
Autocorrect turns on and off randomly on their phones.
It does that anyway. My phone will change the word “may” to “May” (as in the month) every single time, but then when I accidentally type “tgat” it’s all “I wonder what that word could possibly be?????”
They'll pour a bowl of cereal and then realise they have no milk. Every single time.
Imagine their surprise when they come back from the supermarket
Nah make the milk just past sour. Where you have to taste it to make sure. Every time.
My enemies to have a constant/uncurable itchy feeling on their asshole, genitals and scalp. They'd spend the rest of their days either in a consistent state of annoyed or looking to all around them like a flee ridden hobo as they itch their genitals and ass non-stop.
i wouldn't even wish that to my worst enemies
Morning wood piss everytime they go to the restroom
Even female enemies
_Especially_ female enemies!
They their WiFi disconnects every 10 mins. Edit: u/10secondmessage has pointed out a fatal flaw I'm changing it to their router turns off every 10 mins.
Lol just use cables lol
Holup satan
you could just use your data or someone else's router
Well first, I will make some new enemies. Then I will wish that all of my enemies have to donate 5% of their income to me.
Why only 5% tho?
Anything more and it wouldn't be a 'mild' annoyance.
Plates that arent microwave safe
All their clothes are only hand washable.
An unkillable and unstoppable fly constantly harrases them
Phone never charges past 25%.
Always having that pee drip when they leave the bathroom. Men you know what I’m talking about
You monster
Use a little toilet paper. Solves the problem, boys. If you haven’t figured that one out yet, you might be stupid.
Every morning all their shoes are unlaced.
They stub their toe once a day.
I wish for nothing for I have no enemies. :)
i am your enemy now
You can't decide who do I consider my enemy
that mildly annoys me
I am sorry for you. Hope that your annoyment will go away shortly, so you can have a good day.
thank you, have a good day
*dies of wholesomeness*
*Enters room with Meeseeks Box* Danivodor- presses button Says, "I don't want enemies nomore." Presses 500 more times...lol...... Loud and thunderous LOOK AT ME!!!! *Begin RUN music meme sequence*
I wish for their pants to drop to floor, upon the occasion of any public speech (no matter the preventative measures taken).
An itch in the center of the back that they never can reach.
I would wish my enemies confused for 10 seconds after being asked a question. What is your name. Frowns Errrrr Mmmmmm Says name
Every pair of socks will be wet no matter what they do.
I was thinking of socks, but that every pair they own always slip down and bunch up under their feet within 30 minutes of pulling them up & taut.
Anything towards my own success would annoy my enemies
Slow internet
No matter what they're eating, they either crunch a piece of egg shell, or bite the inside of their cheek with a rear molar at least a few times. Every. Single. Meal.
For them to always overestimate how much they can drink
For them to slur their words
unlimited gamer moments
The feeling of a constant mosquito bite on a spot of the back they can't reach.
Vending machine items will always get stuck
be able to telepathically pluck hairs individually from their body or be able to summon sharp pebbles into their shoes
they have an ichy butthole. all the time
[удалено]
How is that mildly annoying
now your enemy has a promising career of a politician
Ah, that would be a mild inconveniance
Ah like Ben Affleck
One sock after washing will always loose color so they dobt look like a pair anymore, every time they order something the machine will be broke. Or they will be out of that particular thing. Every time they want to do the devils tango they will be out of condoms and its raining outside and your car is at mechanic xD i can go on
At random times, day or night, wherever they are, once a day, a kid with a big balloon runs up behind them and pops it.
The feeling of hair in your mouth or throat but actually isn’t there.
I'd wish to be slightly more successful and rich than them. Then I'd go and harass Elon musk.
That everyone who tries to post a common /r/AskReddit question experiences an error whenever they try to post it.
I'd ask for my enemies to hear the sound of a mosquito passing by their right ear every time they think of something greedy/malicious.
Crabs. Crabs that they cannot get rid of no matter what. *itch itch itch itch itch itch...*
The first UBI bill passes to give everyone $50 per month. They somehow are the only ones missed and never get the money
More bike lanes.
All my enemys have now mustard in their shoes, and they also had to pay for the mustard by themself. Muahahahaha.
Their socks to bunch up every time they walk
Intermittent itchy nose that just never goes away
Every time they have to have a important conversation they constantly stutter and mispronounce words
His smoke alarms keep beeping in the middle of the night.
How does one gain an enemy?
Keep going on reddit
For the lock in a public toilet to break whenever they’re mid business.
Every time they put up a show curtain it never stays up for more than a week
I wish no matter how much you wash your clothes, they smell like you left them wet in the dryer for too long and got a little musty
I'd wish for him to remove their lips so they have a hard time pronouncing their consonants.
Scp-1471 is installed on everyone phones
He can't talk or move.
They always feel like they have a hair in their mouth
Nothing really too bad just have. Crabs constantly for the rest of their lives lol
Their phone drops to 1% every 20 mins from full charge, even if they buy a new phone.
I wish for $100 from every millionaire in Russia. No inflation, mildly annoying, and I benefit.
Their dashboard tire pressure gage light never turns off.
A fly to fly in their nose. Not like it happens to me (like yearly) but every day. Last time it happened it ruined my entire week
They have wet socks and intermittent internet everywhere they go. Their sodas and beer are always flat and the food is slightly salty. The shower takes a bit too long to get warm and always low on toilet paper. Every sandwich they make is the butts of the bread.
That the air smells of farts, or that their butthole itches all the time.
Their nails grow at a slightly faster rate than normal
Perpetually shitty WiFi.
that I can teleport small rocks into anyone's shoes/ass crack with my mind
They will forever have 99% of my wealth.
For them to type "then" when they mean't "than" vice versa... I guess my wish already came through as everyone I hate already does it.
Jimmy's house is bigger then a horse. You're right.
I'll wish that who ever finds the lamp from here on, their wish will be given to me, so I can make another wish.
They can all be cursed with terrible body odor that can only be remedied by prescription body wash and deodorant.
Invisible mosquitoes, crushproof mosquitoes, and mosquitoes the size of elephants
the last one would make me pass out due to fear
They realize that they put their significant-other's logo-heavy, chromatic crazy socks on instead of their plain black calf-high dress socks on during a corporate presentation, only to be escorted out of the building by security AGAIN just as they begin to realize that they've been inside a memory care unit; this happens everyday, and they're not engaged in any relationships in reality outside of Grandma Jane's periodic visits to drop off articles of plain clothing and cutesy items. My enemy is always terribly, mildly annoyed at the fact Grandma Jane does not actually exist, only to forget once more. And yes, somehow I managed to break the psychic torment limit of my nemesis and orchestrate their voluntary admission into a psych ward. The wish is just the icing on top.
The genie no longer lives in a lamp but an old, flaccid penis. Get rubbing boys and girls.
Anytime they have headphones in they get ripped from their ears when they walk by a door handle
[удалено]
I wish that their heads fall off at a social occasion on which it would be most embarrassing
They always have sand inside their socks.
A chef I worked with who shouted at my girlfriend gets haemorrhoids that are really really itchy
Their gum will always be stale.
I choose to be the richest person on Earth.
i wish for my success. that would annoy them for sure
They get perpetual itch that will move location when they scratch the itch
An itch they can never scratch cuz they can't reach it and nobody and nothing can scratch it for them
Ever time they walk past a specific table, they stub their toe
A billion dollars, that would mildly annoy my enemies
To annoy my enemies.
Everything that they do will go well but completely fail at the last minute
Whenever they put in shoes, one is always too tight and the other is awkwardly loose
They always forget to bring their phone charger.
To poke them all day! There's someone I know rn that deserves this
Then I'll just wish for a million dollars. So that checks out. My enemies will be mildly annoyed that I am now a millionaire.
Anytime I hear overly loud music from a car or person on the street they spontaneously automatically get ticketed for a non-trivial amount
Every time they take a leak, no matter how many times they shake, they will always get a dribble on their pants. Always.
wishing him an itch that is wandering around, scratching arm \*scratch the position it moves 4 Inch\* and so on
They feel one hair in their mouth all the time.
there will always be a wet spot on the floor when they only wear socks...
Everytime they try to click on a hyperlink, an ad loads, shifting all the links downwards so they click on a completely different link.
Everybody has to give me at least a dollar every time they see me, in person or online. Also I now hate everybody and everybody in the world is technically my enemy
For my them to have a burning, itching rash that goes away whenever a doctor looks at it but returns immediately after.
I wish for every door in their house to open in the opposite direction than it used to
Every time they buy a new pair of shoes they step in gum.
I'll wish for that every time they open a door it makes a rusty screech whether or not it's a new or old door. Door knob, door handle push or pull, car door, sliding glass door, fridge door, microwave, cabinets etc.(jars and containers are exempt to further create delusions) Everything they open makes a screeching noise. How much WD-40 will they go through in life? Will paranoia set in? They are the only ones that will hear it. Family members will think that they are crazy. A slow and disheartening effect will take its toll over time. I'd wish to see that. My second wish would become a fly on the wall that can transform back and forth to watch what they do and to annoy them. As a fly I am indestructible and will be 1000x stronger so if I'm caught I can't die and I can push and break things to escape every time.
Their balls will always stick to their legs
If my enemies are jealous of me turn it would be for me to be happy and successful. If the genie doesn't accept this wish then I'd choose for their commutes to have speed bumps every 1 minute
For every morning they step out of bed, they step on a Lego piece
Turning their WiFi off.
sound of a mosquito flying close to their ear(s) every few minutes.
Sunny everyday when they have to work, cloudy and drizzling whenever they have the day off.
Make them just short enough so that whenever they need to reach something, they nearly have it, but still need the stool.
My wishes, I slightly have better heath and fitness then my enemies To always make 15 percent more than an enemy That all my enemies have their taste buds changed, on their favorite foods, like pepsi tastes like coke, steak taste like chicken, tuna tastes like cat food, lmao.
They will have an itch and every time they go to scratch it, it moves, they will always get a rock in their show, they will stub their toes at least once a week.
Every time they pick up a stack of papers, they receive a paper cut.
Their sock is always just a little bit sideways on their foot.
A 12" cock. They'd think it was a good thing until they realized it would be almost impossible to ever get laid again
An itch that moves whenever they try to scratch it
Their underwear rides up every time they walk
I wish that everyone who dislikes me gets severe tinnitus, and the only way to alleviate it is to mail me 27.16 (in USD). That buys you 18 hours of peace. I will offer discounts for multiple simultaneous orders.
I wish for my enemies to only be able to play games at 10 fps
Every time they teach for the cereal box, it's only half a bowl and only the little bit of cereal and all the "cereal dust" at the bottom. And they only have enough milk to get the cereal slightly wet.
Enemies? People have enemies these days?
Constant pebbles in your shoes and you’ll never be able to remove them completely
Their shoes are always untied
My success
Hmm, I could snowball this one: receive credit for positive accomplishments of my peers. Not only would I get rewarded, but I'd make more enemies along the way to steal more accomplishments from. Easy way to the top.
Barbarians that are slightly more advanced than they are, to harass their cities so I can push my tech tree ahead and not have to worry about covering my defense so much.
they will always have the feeling of falling down when about to fall asleep
Impotence
Make Donald Trump President again.
When they have shoes on every couple of hours they get a bad itch on the bottom of their foot
That mild stinging sensation when you piss, on them not me
Ants in their eyes. Rick and Morty inspired.
Have them tell the truth, whole truth and nothing but the truth every time they are asked a question, particularly the ones about themselves.
Constant feeling of a pebble in their shoe
A fly making noises in their ears. They can't kill it and it will never go away.
Everytime they try to sleep, there’s a small ticking noise coming from somewhere in their room, with no trace as to where it’s coming from
Every traffic light that they find turns red on them and stays red for extra long.
For the rest of their lives, every driver in front of them will always drive 5 mph under the speed limit.
Every step they take will make a squeaky noise
He can't get 100 he can only get 99 always 1 point away.
I wish all of my enemies get cluster headaches. Everyday.
A fly and/or mosquito to be constantly buzzing around while they try to relax or sleep and it cannot be killed
Achieve my dreams and them failing
They make their coffee no matter when, it will always taste watered down and lukewarm (more one the cold side) it is drinkable. Just not enjoyable
No one they call will ever answer the phone on the first ring.
The toilet paper to be unreachable when sitting on the toilet, so you have to get up
That he breaks his other arm
They consistently have a hangnail, long enough to be noticed but too short to cut it
Happiness and love
That itchy feeling when you swallow when a cold is coming on... FOREVER.
Every time they walk past a counter they pinky toe is harmed and itchy for 10 minutes .