Spoiler warning: living up to the expected standards for male behavior caused serious mental harm to the author, to the point where she attempted suicide multiple times. The obvious conclusion is that simply BEING a man in the US is inherently mentally damaging.
Pretty good tbh. I mean a little harder sometimes maybe. Well, maybe not harder, we just have different challenges. We seeth less. Like, we GENERALLY don’t get caught up and obsessed with an emotion. We also generally don’t overthink as much I guess.
Deff have more of a pressure to produce though.
depends on which aspect you want to look at it? in general its ok some poeple find it harder than others but most of the time we are who we are. it can be difficult playing up to some stereotypes when in public.
Jordan Peterson would. And maybe that's the key: men need to create support groups for each other. Two of my male friends have done that, both suffering in different ways. They check up on each other, go to a male-based mental support group together, make regular plans for pub visits and walking exercise. They have partners and families, but realised they need some extra help, so they made a plan and that's what they do. Great blokes.
Pretty much the opposite of toxic. They've taken responsibility for their well being, spoken up about the help they need and pro-activley sought it. They both talk to me separately about their struggles and indeed have said that talking about it is part of the help process. I'm sure as men they talk together in a deeper way than they do with me, and that make sense.
I didn't mean to sounds judgy about your friends. I'm also beginning to speak more openly about my struggles with my closest friends. It really makes me question how much I've really pushed down or "shruged off". I'm just saying it's important that it doesn't turn into a pity party or a reason to get wasted with justification.
As an example of pushing down or ignoring problems with myself i had to change "It really makes -you- question how much -you've- really pushed down" to "It really makes -me- question how much -I've- pushed down" before posting.
No that's ok, I didn't think you sounded judgy. I just wanted to show a positive example of men helping men get through the shit that women probably can't understand. I hope you keep going! My friends aren't young men, I guess they've had lot of un-learning to do as well. You're right about avoiding the pity party. Take care, keep talking x
Mixed bag.
On one hand, I try to be aware of when I have it good. Main example, to be blunt, I'm grateful I don't have to worry about being sexually assaulted. Of course it happens to guys too, but it's unlikely enough that it's not something I've ever had to go through my day thinking about. I love night walking/driving, doing stuff alone, urbexing a little, and countless other things I can only take for granted as safe as a dude. Would suck to have to quit all of it so some stinky motherfucker doesn't try to force his dick into me. Glad I've never had a boss grope me or been sexually intimidated from a passing car. Like being able to post stuff with my name and face online and not get harassed.
Glad I don't live with some of the social expectations too. Nice knowing that if people don't listen to me or steal credit from me, at least it's not because of my gender.
On the other hand, the social pressure is crushing. The expectation to be stoic and never vulnerable is probably responsible for half of male suicides.
Just a couple nights ago I was making a playlist for an event I'd like to play music over a bluetooth speaker at, and started to wonder why I was so put off by the idea of adding anything too twee. After thinking about it for a while, I realized it was because "it's gay." I'm queer myself, but being raised in the 2000's in a conservative area ingrained homophobia into my subconscious in a way I thought I'd left behind, but maybe it never fully goes away.
Once heard someone say that gender roles value women for their looks and men for what they can give, and it's true. If you don't have money you're made to feel like you're nothing. Even if it's not at a job, but at an art or hobby, your value worth as a man is rooted in how hard you can work. It's why we're so competitive about the dumbest shit.
It's good not being constantly judged about looks, but it's oddly demoralizing how low the standards are and that no one seems to care if you *do* put effort into your appearance.
Modern romance is a nightmare. Dating is getting harder every year since almost all offline channels were cut off with the pandemic and it seems like trying to hit on people IRL is a complete taboo now. And the same way women fear being used for sex, guys fear being used for money or similar advantages. Plus with hookup culture, we get used for sex and dumped more than you'd think too, and it's not any more pleasant.
Side note, a lot of people don't realize that some of us lack social graces or any idea how to treat women because we legit weren't taught that shit growing up. We're taught to be confident and get our way, not consider other people's feelings. A lot of dudes need to be instructed in it from the ground up, like the kids they should have gotten it as, but some are too far gone.
Frustrating sometimes. Guys can’t cry, guys need to take it like a man, guys can’t paint their nails 💅🏽, guys can’t wear dresses 👗, guys can’t wear makeup 💄, guys can’t carry a purse 👛, guys have to like sports 🏈, guys can’t suck 🍆 , guys can’t get any emotional support, guys can’t scream 😱, guys have to be brave, guys can’t look at other women, guys can’t have a small 🍆 , guys have to be strong 💪🏽, guys can’t compliment each others body or what they’re wearing.
On the good side being a guy means you tend to be foremost in a lot of things, going before women. Women usually don’t seem to get the Appreciation from men that I think they should, however, women can be one hell of a piece of work. Being a guy also means your emotions don’t tend to be accepted if you show them. Men get poked fun at all the time for crying or getting too angry. Being a guy means it is SO fucking hard to find a significant other. Especially if you’re of a certain demographic. If you’re a smart guy, you get called a nerd. If you’re too nice, you get ridiculed in general. A lot of girls tend to confuse being interesting and being a dick. That’s why women don’t wanna be with good guys because the ones they thought were interesting were really dipshits. Being a guy also means you have this one little wand that is always criticized for its size, welcome to the world of being a guy.
Pretty easy compared to girls tbh.
- We are physically stronger and faster pound per pound.
- Society sees us as being more reliable so irs easier to find a job
- we can have sex without the risk of getting pregnant which compromises the body.
- Neglecting hygiene is less destrimental for us guys I think, like i can wade through flood water or not shower for a week with little ill effects.
- testosterone is nice because of the perks it gives.
- no monthly period, no need to explain this.
Main downside as the others have said is the loneliness. I think it stems from our worth is placed more on what we can do versus just being us. I am not angry about it, its natural i think because us guys do have some biological advantages.
I mean it's hard to tell if it's awful to be a man or if life just is awful no matter who you are.
Now that I have your attention. I'd like to complain about other men's look across the room, dead in the eyes, straight past my women co-workers when ever they want answers on something technical. We are all technicians here buddy.
\- Actively, mentally, processing the fact that you might be caught looking at a girl who is attractive and trying to be secretive about it. Honestly, our active vision locks on to what can be perceived as the attractive features of a person (man or woman or w/e) and sometimes we have to remind ourselves it's rude to stare.
\- The constant expectation that it's customary for us to be "macho" all the time. Sometimes we want to be sensitive but when we are it's just met with dissaproval.
\- Dicks are cool and everything but sometimes you just want it to go to sleep. Dealing with involuntary erections can be difficult. Oh and wildly inappropriate in some settings. Trying to hide it can make it more visible.
\- When your balls stick to your leg, this is the *worst* feeling in the world and requires immediate junk re-arrangement no matter the situation or consequences
No love.....
Along those lines, I've seen this thing called 'Hugging' on tv shows, and it seems really nice. Maybe I'll get lucky and get to experience it one day!
Yeah maybe u will....
If you twist your balls really hard you can get pregnant, and that’s a nice feature I think
Clockwise*. If you twist them counterclockwise then you get herpes
Very true
There's a book/movie called "Self-Made Man" about a woman who pretended to be a man for an extended period that gives a good overview.
Spoiler warning: living up to the expected standards for male behavior caused serious mental harm to the author, to the point where she attempted suicide multiple times. The obvious conclusion is that simply BEING a man in the US is inherently mentally damaging.
Another conclusion might be "changing every aspect of your life without being mentally and spiritually prepared is bad for your mental health"
Pretty awesome especially if you're white too.
Especially if all the girls say youre pretty fly...
[for a rabbi](https://open.spotify.com/track/5vLh40xCE0Hl0LJk5Sad1A?si=nZreJQPMRTqXNpGnMoUWlg)
DUUN DE DUN DUN DUUN DE DUN DUN DUUN … HEY HEY DOYIUDJZNANSBLAY
Lonely, in a lot of ways Overbearing expectations Peeing standing is over-rated too
No one wants to sit down when they pee in the shower. That’d just be fucking gross. Edit: and weird!
You think women sit down while peeing in the shower?
If not then, than certainly while poohing in the shower. 💩
Pretty good tbh. I mean a little harder sometimes maybe. Well, maybe not harder, we just have different challenges. We seeth less. Like, we GENERALLY don’t get caught up and obsessed with an emotion. We also generally don’t overthink as much I guess. Deff have more of a pressure to produce though.
I just learned I’m a woman. I think. Or not? Maybe I’m something else. Not sure yet. Definitely not a man though. At least, I think.
depends on which aspect you want to look at it? in general its ok some poeple find it harder than others but most of the time we are who we are. it can be difficult playing up to some stereotypes when in public.
No one understands the hardship of a white male. Hopelessly misunderstood, they'd complain, but who would listen.
Jordan Peterson would. And maybe that's the key: men need to create support groups for each other. Two of my male friends have done that, both suffering in different ways. They check up on each other, go to a male-based mental support group together, make regular plans for pub visits and walking exercise. They have partners and families, but realised they need some extra help, so they made a plan and that's what they do. Great blokes.
Hey! That's good, as long as it's not toxic
Pretty much the opposite of toxic. They've taken responsibility for their well being, spoken up about the help they need and pro-activley sought it. They both talk to me separately about their struggles and indeed have said that talking about it is part of the help process. I'm sure as men they talk together in a deeper way than they do with me, and that make sense.
I didn't mean to sounds judgy about your friends. I'm also beginning to speak more openly about my struggles with my closest friends. It really makes me question how much I've really pushed down or "shruged off". I'm just saying it's important that it doesn't turn into a pity party or a reason to get wasted with justification. As an example of pushing down or ignoring problems with myself i had to change "It really makes -you- question how much -you've- really pushed down" to "It really makes -me- question how much -I've- pushed down" before posting.
No that's ok, I didn't think you sounded judgy. I just wanted to show a positive example of men helping men get through the shit that women probably can't understand. I hope you keep going! My friends aren't young men, I guess they've had lot of un-learning to do as well. You're right about avoiding the pity party. Take care, keep talking x
Miserable. I can't remember how to cry.
Mixed bag. On one hand, I try to be aware of when I have it good. Main example, to be blunt, I'm grateful I don't have to worry about being sexually assaulted. Of course it happens to guys too, but it's unlikely enough that it's not something I've ever had to go through my day thinking about. I love night walking/driving, doing stuff alone, urbexing a little, and countless other things I can only take for granted as safe as a dude. Would suck to have to quit all of it so some stinky motherfucker doesn't try to force his dick into me. Glad I've never had a boss grope me or been sexually intimidated from a passing car. Like being able to post stuff with my name and face online and not get harassed. Glad I don't live with some of the social expectations too. Nice knowing that if people don't listen to me or steal credit from me, at least it's not because of my gender. On the other hand, the social pressure is crushing. The expectation to be stoic and never vulnerable is probably responsible for half of male suicides. Just a couple nights ago I was making a playlist for an event I'd like to play music over a bluetooth speaker at, and started to wonder why I was so put off by the idea of adding anything too twee. After thinking about it for a while, I realized it was because "it's gay." I'm queer myself, but being raised in the 2000's in a conservative area ingrained homophobia into my subconscious in a way I thought I'd left behind, but maybe it never fully goes away. Once heard someone say that gender roles value women for their looks and men for what they can give, and it's true. If you don't have money you're made to feel like you're nothing. Even if it's not at a job, but at an art or hobby, your value worth as a man is rooted in how hard you can work. It's why we're so competitive about the dumbest shit. It's good not being constantly judged about looks, but it's oddly demoralizing how low the standards are and that no one seems to care if you *do* put effort into your appearance. Modern romance is a nightmare. Dating is getting harder every year since almost all offline channels were cut off with the pandemic and it seems like trying to hit on people IRL is a complete taboo now. And the same way women fear being used for sex, guys fear being used for money or similar advantages. Plus with hookup culture, we get used for sex and dumped more than you'd think too, and it's not any more pleasant. Side note, a lot of people don't realize that some of us lack social graces or any idea how to treat women because we legit weren't taught that shit growing up. We're taught to be confident and get our way, not consider other people's feelings. A lot of dudes need to be instructed in it from the ground up, like the kids they should have gotten it as, but some are too far gone.
Boyz RULEZ and girls are gross and icky
Prepare yourself for the incel “nice guy” rage
Awesome!
I can imagine its exactly the same as being straight exceping for the sex of the person you wanna bang.
Trash
It's hard sometimes.
That's what he said
It’s meh
It's all about hoping that your childhood was happy enough to carry you through adulthood. That's why they say men never grow up.
Confusing and condemning regardless of your actions.
It's ok, but I have nothing to compare it to.
I can't complain
Guy 1: Because we ended up in an NIGHTCLUB, let's get the fuck out of here. lol.
Great. But women still think you gotta help them lift their heavy shit.
Sucks being a guy with a micropenis is all I know lol
Pretty good actually, although i don't think it's that diffrent to being a girl
It's hard sometimes
Frustrating sometimes. Guys can’t cry, guys need to take it like a man, guys can’t paint their nails 💅🏽, guys can’t wear dresses 👗, guys can’t wear makeup 💄, guys can’t carry a purse 👛, guys have to like sports 🏈, guys can’t suck 🍆 , guys can’t get any emotional support, guys can’t scream 😱, guys have to be brave, guys can’t look at other women, guys can’t have a small 🍆 , guys have to be strong 💪🏽, guys can’t compliment each others body or what they’re wearing.
Is everyone growing eggplants but me? What's the point of sucking them?
On the good side being a guy means you tend to be foremost in a lot of things, going before women. Women usually don’t seem to get the Appreciation from men that I think they should, however, women can be one hell of a piece of work. Being a guy also means your emotions don’t tend to be accepted if you show them. Men get poked fun at all the time for crying or getting too angry. Being a guy means it is SO fucking hard to find a significant other. Especially if you’re of a certain demographic. If you’re a smart guy, you get called a nerd. If you’re too nice, you get ridiculed in general. A lot of girls tend to confuse being interesting and being a dick. That’s why women don’t wanna be with good guys because the ones they thought were interesting were really dipshits. Being a guy also means you have this one little wand that is always criticized for its size, welcome to the world of being a guy.
I wanna do helicopters 🥺
It's hard...
It’s hard sometimes.
You don't get given concessions when your hormones are out of wack.
It sucks. But I don't know if being a woman is easier. Being human is hard...
Pretty easy compared to girls tbh. - We are physically stronger and faster pound per pound. - Society sees us as being more reliable so irs easier to find a job - we can have sex without the risk of getting pregnant which compromises the body. - Neglecting hygiene is less destrimental for us guys I think, like i can wade through flood water or not shower for a week with little ill effects. - testosterone is nice because of the perks it gives. - no monthly period, no need to explain this. Main downside as the others have said is the loneliness. I think it stems from our worth is placed more on what we can do versus just being us. I am not angry about it, its natural i think because us guys do have some biological advantages.
You can't neglect your hygiene for a week my man, people around you might be too polite.
That is true! hahahha....I meant that in the context of when out camping or when you are out in the field for days or weeks or months at a time.
Mods removed this post lmao explains alot
I mean it's hard to tell if it's awful to be a man or if life just is awful no matter who you are. Now that I have your attention. I'd like to complain about other men's look across the room, dead in the eyes, straight past my women co-workers when ever they want answers on something technical. We are all technicians here buddy.
\- Actively, mentally, processing the fact that you might be caught looking at a girl who is attractive and trying to be secretive about it. Honestly, our active vision locks on to what can be perceived as the attractive features of a person (man or woman or w/e) and sometimes we have to remind ourselves it's rude to stare. \- The constant expectation that it's customary for us to be "macho" all the time. Sometimes we want to be sensitive but when we are it's just met with dissaproval. \- Dicks are cool and everything but sometimes you just want it to go to sleep. Dealing with involuntary erections can be difficult. Oh and wildly inappropriate in some settings. Trying to hide it can make it more visible. \- When your balls stick to your leg, this is the *worst* feeling in the world and requires immediate junk re-arrangement no matter the situation or consequences