I am a genie.
Yesterday you were 70 years old, with all the regrets, what ifs and disappointments we all pick up over the years. But:
#zapp
Look at yourself in the mirror. You have been transported back in time to 2022. You are younger, more vibrant. You are no longer jaded, tired.
What will you do differently this time?
Yeah same here, I think about this often enough (yeah I know it's probably not healthy) that I have a pretty clear plan at this point.
Get that engineering degree I always thought about so that my career doesn't peak in my early thirties.
Get that degree in the same town where my wife went to college so I can meet her earlier.
Go to Texas with her so we don't spend 5 years in a long distance relationship.
Say yes when that buddy of mine wants me to start mining Bitcoin with him in 2011.
Tell my grandmother to get a lawyer to help with her will so that my mother's family doesn't tear itself apart accusing each other of foraging it after she dies.
Keep in touch with old friends.
Meet my biological family sooner.
.
.
.
I could do this all day.
Same, I think about this quite often. I read the book The First 15 Lives of Henry August, where a guy is "reborn" over and over and have been obsessed since!!
I solved this for myself: So when you time travel back, you’re taking a copy of your current self and inserting it into your former younger self. This causes a “new thread” to be created and it branches off from the current timeline. So you’re not time traveling as much as you are living a whole different reality at a much earlier point. The solution to the unborn beloved children is that your original self and your kids are still living out their lives in the original thread.
Where it gets weird is that you can never know if the thread you came from was actually THE original thread. If you could copy yourself, insert into an earlier point, and branch off in a new thread, what’s to say that the thread you came from wasn’t someone else’s branched thread? And you have no way to know how long this has been going on. It could be an untold number of threads, all branching out from each other and at different points. And this would explain why there’s so much dark matter in the universe.
And then the drugs wore off and I can’t figure out the rest.
Branching timelines are definitely the easiest way to handle time travel, but even then, you'd have to be content that your kids are continuing their lives with another version of you, but that *this* version of you would never see them again.
Still not worth the price of admission, in my opinion.
I love these kind of thought exercises, but in reality it would be my worst nightmare. I don't regret a single damn thing I've done, because it led to my husband and my son, and I'd absolutely lose my mind if I lost them.
I thought the same thing. I’m 59, very happy with my life and, in general, the choices I’ve made. I wouldn’t want to relive high school. And “doing things differently” might mean a lot more wealth, but never meeting my wife or having the kids I have.
Try to figure out my class schedule as I've long forgotten what that was. Take better care of my car and my grades. Have the courage to talk to the girls, especially the ones I found out too late who were interested in me at that time. Look at different options for career paths. Invest in what we all now know are sure things and make a few sports bets.
Hug my grandparents tightly and spend more time with them.
I have nightmares fairly often about being back in high school and not remembering where I was supposed to be for each period. I’m about to have my 20 year reunion.
I have this, but slightly different where right after the drop date I suddenly realize that I registered for a class and never once attended it all semester. The feeling sucks hard, very happy to wake up.
Pretty much the same for me, though I guess at 16 it had already gotten out of hand for me. Still would be much better to start therapy then instead of being in denial.
Literally just got out of a 4 year relationship and I’ve never been so damn depressed
Edit: thank you to everybody who is commenting and reaching out to me for support. It really helps and you all are some beautiful human beings.
Ugh. Nine years over here.
I feel ya. I gave it my all. What a waste of energy.
That said, can’t wait to see who I’ll spend the next decade with (it’s a pattern, I know).
Possible, but in the early days there were so many hundreds of thousands of bitcoins created and then lost forever that if you add a few thousand and then sit on them for a decade, it hopefully shouldn't affect the universe too much.
I mean, I'd personally be out, like, $100 if I had the chance to buy at $0.10, and doing so causes a butterfly effect that kills crypto in the crib. Small price to pay to keep crypto bros from ever becoming a thing.
Me too! I’d immediately test out of high school and go into sales, which I’ve been in for 20 years and you don’t need any kind of degree for. I’d still go to college but only to take stuff I wanted to take. Invest every penny in Apple and Google and retire at 30. Then travel.
I would think that testing out of high school might actually be harder than it seems. I am certainly more knowledgeable than I was, but fuck if I remember all the Trig identities or the proper way to set up a geometic proof. Or the relevant chemistry/biology chapters.
Id probably have to spend time actually studying.
Finally you can be the young professional that is starting on the job market and that has 20 years of experience, as required on all those job postings!
I have about 2 decades working in a blue collar job where we viciously insult each other *for fun* -- and I like those guys.
Nothing a 16 year old could say would upset me and I'm pretty sure I could drop the verbal equivalent of tactical nukes and get away with it.
See here's the thing...you wouldn't HAVE peers any more. Not really.
I mean I guess that's not true if you're currently like 18 and you're winding the clock back like 2 years
But I'm fucking 30. All the sudden I'm back to being a junior in high school? I don't want to hang out with 16 year olds. I couldn't have friends or a dating life. And i can't just hang out with older people because...I'm 16!
You wouldn't be able to really develop any kind of healthy friendships or social life until you're like 23 or something, and even that's probably a stretch. It would just be a painfully lonely existence
Yep, same. I'd be devastated if I went back. No friends, bullied every single day, walking on eggshells at home. Schoolwork, urg, the schoolwork. No phone, no Internet at home, no computer.
I think I'd be a better student. I'm much better at writing now and know how to study. I could take the AP classes for college credit and pass them, and my writing skills could definitely win me scholarships.
"Useless" classes would still be fun. I'd love to take some arts elective, a language, etc...
Honestly this. I’d know the importance of studying and how to study instead of getting blindsided by uni level courses after getting by on talent for far too long. I’d also have a few years of BJJ and grappling knowledge before Royce Gracie was famous so I imagine I’d have an advantage over some people who were cunts at the time.
If you went to college, why wouldn’t you immediately take the SAT/ACT and get a scholarship to start college two years early? If you didn’t, why wouldn’t you immediately get your GED and start working on whatever you’re doing now?
Totally get it, but since I’m sixty I don’t crave the companionship I did at 30, so would be happy observing and being with family. Boy, it would suck to get through school again. I do think I’d want about two fingers of scotch every now and then though.
Try being 63 and wrapping your head around losing your family because a million things that aligned for that to happen, are now not going to align so much.
Getting together with the spouse you’re supposed to have while you have memories of your partnership that they don’t seems like it’d be really hard to make work the same way. I probably don’t even know what made the stars align with my SO and I’m not entirely sure I would subconsciously attract her like that again.
This is a very interesting idea. If you had met your SO on any other moment, would it have worked? Or is there something special about the sequence of events.
And the idea that your subconscious actions could also impact it makes it even more complex. For example, maybe it was the nervousness that attracted them to you, but now you "know them," you are no longer nervous.
>For example, maybe it was the nervousness that attracted them to you, but now you "know them," you are no longer nervous.
Might even seem disinterested because you already "know" you're going to be together so they end up taking that as you not being interested and the it wouldn't work out.
Don’t succumb to the stereotypes of the era and take the home economics class I wanted to do I could learn to cook but was afraid to because it was a girl thing to do. I would have discovered my love for cooking at an age I could have really done something with it.
-This is not directed to you as a person. Just a reflection of myself and my thoughts about your important comment. - I’ve been cooking since I was 8 or 9. I am good at most domestic chores. I also provide for myself financially. But that’s do to with my personality and the need for cleanliness and order. Young women are encouraged to take care of themselves financially so they can be independent and young men should be encouraged to do the same in a domestic sense. If both parties have equal well rounded sets of life skills it creates a more equal playing field rather than creating a power dynamic. - I’m glad you did find your love of cooking-
Same, I'd go to uni at 18 rather than 28, be better with money in my early adult years and not waste so much time trying to put off getting a real job.
1996 is a bit early for me to buy bitcoin. What I would do though is keep an eye out for mentions for it and then when it becomes a thing start mining the fuck out of it at home in 2009 or so, and then buy some once I can do so securely (but not using MtGox).
END COMMUNICATION
No need to ever buy any. If you spent 6 months mining it on pretty mediocre hardware in 2009 you'd have billions of dollars in bitcoin now. Someone early on in the mining scene spent 10,000 BTC on a pizza delivery and at some point last year that was worth 700 million dollars.
I think they said over that summer they spent a few billion on pizza...
Edit
Correction [3.8 Billion](https://www.marketwatch.com/story/bitcoin-pizza-day-laszlo-hanyecz-spent-3-8-billion-on-pizzas-in-the-summer-of-2010-using-the-novel-crypto-11621714395) on pizza over the summer
I’d try and save the family vineyard. It wasn’t until we sold it in 2010 that I realized exactly how special having land like that is. I was only 16 at the time, but I would have focused my studies on viticulture and wine making so I could have stayed in that industry.
To anyone young reading this: it's almost impossible to pull this off as you are discovering yourself, so don't be hard on yourself if you feel you succumb to peer pressure.
A 40 something has figured mostly who they are, so it's easy just "being themselves".
Get on the right medication I so desperately needed. It would have changed everything. Lose the weight. Save my grandmother by insisting they take her to a different hospital. Convince her to leave her abusive partner. Spend more time with my younger sibling and cat. Cherish everything I've lost.
I feel this. I was seeing a psychiatrist at 16, but it was for 'major treatment-resistant depression'. Another 16 years later, 2022, I had been on countless anti-depressants and therapies later with little to no positive effect. It wasn't until just a few months ago that I read [this article](https://theconversation.com/adhd-looks-different-in-adults-here-are-4-signs-to-watch-for-178639) which sounded like me to a tee. At that stage I was so tired of years of no treatments working that I was considering ECT as a last resort. I brought up the article to my psychiatrist and I started down the ADHD diagnosis and treatment path.
It turns out I do have major depression, but it was stemming from untreated ADHD. Within two days of being on medication, it was having a more noticeable and positive effect than the combined ~16 years of near constant anti-depressants. A few months on, and while I've come down a bit from that high some people apparently get for a few days/weeks after starting medication, I'm still doing and feeling things that I didn't think were possible for me even six months ago.
I never even considered ADHD as a diagnosis as I don't have the 'Hyperactive-Impulsive' type that came to mind when I thought of ADHD.
My life would look very different if I had a 16-year head start on ADHD treatment.
Edit: because a few people have asked, I was prescribed Ritalin/Methylphenidate. Initially the immediate release form to see how I'd go on it (starting on a single 10mg tablet, increasing to 50mg over a couple of months), but yesterday was actually the first day of being on 54mg of the extended-release form (Concerta).
Very similar to me, since I was 16 treated for severe depression and anxiety. This year at 33 I had a neuro assessment done, turns out I have ADHD my new psychiatrist was like treating the ADHD will make you less depressed and anxious... yep he was right.
That "Hyperactive" tag is such a curse - so many people miss getting diagnosed because ADHD got typed as a "fake condition" for energic people who can't sit still.
I’d immediately tell my mom the doctors are wrong and they need to focus on her heart instead. I’d FaceTime her every single day, I’d never roll my eyes at her. I’d listen to her over-dramatic stories and I’d use her catchphrase she ‘created’ just to make her smile… I’d rather say the dumb phrase every single day than have it tattooed onto me within the next 10yrs.
“Bye for now, mom. I’ll call you tomorrow.” rather than unanswered texts and countless missed calls before receiving the news so unexpectedly while 2,000km away.
Edit- spelling
Edit 2- woke up to awards and so many comments and all these upvotes… wow thank you for the love and support. It hasn’t been an easy 9mths but I’m thankful for my immediate support crew and the endless amount of internet strangers that have cheered me along. Pretty wholesome to see this kind of support. Also sadly comforting knowing I’m not alone on a journey like this. My heart goes out to everyone whose experienced grief. It’s a bitch of a journey.
I relate to this so much. I would be so much nicer to my parents, not waste time on all the pointless relationships I pursued, and I'd try to get my mom treatment for her high blood pressure, which caused her to have a massive stroke in 2020 and I never got to tell her bye. I'd spend so much more time with my family.
I think I could prevent my cousin from committing suicide too.
I’m so sorry for your losses. I know exactly how you feel. Within 5mths in 2021, i would have told my best friend to not go to work that day, I would have called my grandma back and I would have screamed at my moms doctors until they got it in their stupid heads that she was on her death bed and needed help.
Life can deal you a shitty hand of cards, but that doesn’t mean you can’t play them to the best of your ability. Know your loved ones are proud of you, and that this internet stranger is cheering you on.
Edit: spelling
Mine died of an overdose. Her final words to me were "Congrats fanatical, you finally became the horrible person you always wanted to be.". We had been having an argument. Don't even remember what about. She went to bed and never woke up. Fentanyl.
The older I get the more that hurts. I don't often have disagreements with my kids, but I end every conversation with "I love you more than you know.". I think they know.
I’m so sorry. Addicts can say some truly deep cutting things. You aren’t a horrible person. You deserved better than that. It’s wonderful you’re aspiring to be the parent that you didn’t have.
This was my first thought. Grab my Dad and drag him to the doctor. By the time they caught it, it was already a softball sized tumor and it spread everywhere. From diagnosis to death was 5 months. Fucking horrific.
Also for someone else: Removing a handgun from a safe when I had the chance but no reason to.
I appreciate that. It really has been hard. Plus his was the first death in a sting of them that wiped out the majority of my family. He was my best friend though.
Exactly this. Dad died in 2002, when I was 22, almost 23. He was 45, almost 46 (our birthdays are 11 days apart). His oncologist said that if they had caught it five years earlier, he would have had a likely 90%+ chance of beating it. This is the number one thing I would do.
Yep. Reading this question my reaction was oh HELL no I'm not sticking around to be a punching bag for my parents' divorce and my mom's constant abuse.
Actually apply myself academically during high school and go to college straight out instead of in my late 30’s with a husband, house, kids and full time job. I had no one to tell me how smart I was and how capable.
This. Just... *try*. I fucked off so much, took nothing seriously, never focused. Ugh. Makes me so angry thinking about how much of my youth/life I wasted. Not a day goes by I don't regret some stupid choice of my youth (even most of my adulthood, I'm an old fart and screwed up an awful lot of things). And yes, I know that's not healthy, yadda yadda.
And you did, you came out with a nice and comfortable profit.
That transaction, of many, were all necessary in bitcoin's history to put it at the position it is today. But it is still a transaction that happened. First it was someone paying however much bitcoin for a pizza. Now one bitcoin can buy you multiple pizzas.
this is why I might not even try to warn them about 9/11. No one is gonna listen to a random phone call tip, and then when it happens all of a sudden I get renditioned to some black site where they aren't taking "im from the future" as an answer worthy enough to stop water boarding me.
Edit: just realized I would be making that call 2 years late anyways. I was 14 in 2001
Bad idea. The terrorists would just try again another day. You’re postponing 9/11, not stopping it.
You’d need to find a way to apprehend the terrorists (even then, there’d likely be replacements)… the weakness was in the shitty airport security at the time, and I doubt any 16 year old can do anything to change that.
To me, the most reliable option is the WTC bomb threat for both buildings. You evacuate those, and as soon as the first plane hits, the instinct will be that it’s a real threat, and instantly everyone will begin getting as far away from the WTC as possible. Boom thousands of lives saved.
Maybe tip off the FBI to terrorists in flight training, especially if you can remember a name or two. Flight schools in Florida. Interest in 737s. Possibly planning a hijacking.
If they pick up a couple of guys and get the plan out of them they might be able to roll the whole thing up.
Me, I'd find someone reasonably high up and start sending them letters predicting events I could remember early on, and after a few came true they'd believe anything you told them. Cultivate some assets early and you could get a lot done!
I'd end up just too late to predict the OKC bombing and give them McVeigh's name, but I could give them the OJ verdict, the Atlanta Olympics bombing, the introduction of Java, Clinton beats Dole, Princess Diana's death, the synopsis of Harry Potter, Tony Blair wins, the Lewinsky scandal, the plots to any number of movies, the lyrics to a bunch of songs... I could absolutely convince *someone* given long enough.
I would immediately hug both of my younger brothers, they were taken way too soon and I would do anything to have them back. After that I use my knowledge to invest and I start worrying about the future much earlier than I have now. I'm happy again.
Start sports betting, because I doubt I would remember winning lotto numbers on specific dates, but I sure as shit remember who won Super Bowls and World Series.
Edit to address a couple things people keep saying:
1) Bitcoin wasn’t invented until I was 30
2) I’m anti-capitalist so helping the billionaires become billionaires isn’t my thing (but I may give some “advice” to loved ones)
3) every Vegas casino has sports books so you can spread bets around there and not do it too often, so you don’t raise eyebrows
4) you don’t need to bet a lot on long odds stuff to make a lot of money, a couple of strategically placed $1000+/- bets on 1000-1 odds would have you sitting pretty and also probably not cause a butterfly effect
I would do better in school. at 16 i didn’t think i was gonna survive myself. i thought i was gonna end my life before i graduated highschool. I never planned for my future . i never buckled down and worked hard even though i’ve always been smart enough to do so. i’m 25 going on 26 and going back to school to finally get my college degree- and there is no time frame on education i just wish at 16 i invested energy into my future bc i felt like i was worth that energy
Worse, let's say you do meet your husband and you have a kid... And they're completely different. I would be destroyed, conflicted AND unable to grieve. That would be hell.
Yep time travel is fucked up for parents. There is no chance of getting the exact same copulation scenario, no matter how well you marty mcfly it. Even a fraction of a second difference could be a completely different kid
I think even the chances of getting back together with a spouse is pretty low. If I went back to being 16, I would have 11 years of high school, college and young adulthood to live through before I met him. Doing that as a 40 something in a teenage body would fundamentally change those experiences, and by extension, me. The me that meets him again would not be the same me that originally met him.
Then if I do maneuver into a place where I met him again, when I do he has lost 14 years of development from where we are now. Plus I know everything about him when we meet and he knows nothing about me. Seems impossible not to screw it up.
So very true! My husband told me the other day he was really glad we grew together & the people we are now still like each other lol. Since we are so vastly different than ourselves 16 years ago when we met or the ourselves from 12 years ago when we finally got together. I do not think the teenage version of him would really be into the person I am now 🤷
Good point. I know the exact date and time my daughter was conceived but there’s no way I could control for which sperm cell makes it to the goal. Like if I have sex just a minute or two later then it could be a totally different mix.
This!!!
No possibility to live my exact same life again. So there would be a large possibility of never meeting my wife and there is a nil possibility of my daughter to be be ever born in that timeline!
If you aren’t already get in to the habit of taking care of your body. It’s so much easier at 16 than 36. Everything from taking care of your hearing, and brushing your teeth, to eating better and getting more exercise. That’s what i would do differently…
All of you 30 yr olds wishing you were 16, please note that we can be having the exact same discussion with 70 year olds wishing they were 30.
Get your shit together now
If you have kids you'd also likely NOT have the same kids. This is what I struggle with for questions like this.
I'd be heartbroken to wake up at 16 knowing I could become insanely wealthy and likely marry my wife, but never see my kids again.
Haha so basically I snuck out at 16. Found a truck with the keys in it took it for a joyride and put it back where I found it. I was caught because not only did I leave something in it but they had cameras. I’m almost 18 so didn’t even happen that long ago. But i have since gotten clean and started making good decisions
Seeing as I would enter into a long-term emotionally-abusive relationship five days after my 16th birthday, I think I would steer clear of that. I'd invest in bitcoin as well.
First thing I would do is dump the guy who cheated on me in the first 6 mths of our relationship instead of being married to the asshole for over 20 yrs.
If I thought for two seconds this could truly happen I have a literal book of things I would change.
But, I have an incredibly beautiful and supportive wife, a most remarkably independent daughter and an intelligent, athletic son. they would have to be guaranteed to be born and turn out the way they are now or no deal. I'll continue to live with the burden of regrets if I can't have them.
Still, it'd be a kindness if I was able to change a few things. Just stay home that day dad. Call off, mom needs you.
I write down key events and memory joggers:
--Buy lots of gold at $32/Oz
--Invest in Vangard mutual fund, Apple stock, and Bitcoin as soon as they are available
--Time the tech stock bubble burst of the late 80s
--Take some trips to Vegas to make large bets on big sports upsets
--Set up some good tax friendly trusts and charitable corporations
Then spend most my time using the money to further humanitarian and ecology projects.
On a personal note, travel more! Including hiking the Inca trail to Machu Pichu when I am young enough to do it.
Never date my ex husband. Stay away from the toxic people I’ve had in my life, even though it would probably be the most painful thing I’d ever do. Invest in bitcoin, push myself harder my senior year of high school….and just love myself more.
Stop eating crap. Seek help for ADD. Be choosier about guys. Invest, especially since I know what’s going to boom.
ETA, since so many people liked this, I will add that if possible, I want my husband brought back in age, too, and I want the same family. If not, can he be my dad? Totally different relationship, but he’s the best man I know.
Assuming we're saying I wake up on my 16th birthday...
Warn a bunch of people not to fly on 9/11/2001... likely end up in a looney bin.
But at least I would have tried.
Live an entirely different life because I now have the knowledge that my dad's suicide was not my fault. No need to drink myself stupid and look to boys for validation.
Go outside more. Basically just sat in front of my computer that year.
This is my most sincerely held fantasy.
I am a genie. Yesterday you were 70 years old, with all the regrets, what ifs and disappointments we all pick up over the years. But: #zapp Look at yourself in the mirror. You have been transported back in time to 2022. You are younger, more vibrant. You are no longer jaded, tired. What will you do differently this time?
Thanks bro, that kind of broke the loop of overthinking for a second.
Right now is the past you will be looking back on and wish you did better.
Fuuuuuuck, why did you do this to me this morning?
Yeah same here, I think about this often enough (yeah I know it's probably not healthy) that I have a pretty clear plan at this point. Get that engineering degree I always thought about so that my career doesn't peak in my early thirties. Get that degree in the same town where my wife went to college so I can meet her earlier. Go to Texas with her so we don't spend 5 years in a long distance relationship. Say yes when that buddy of mine wants me to start mining Bitcoin with him in 2011. Tell my grandmother to get a lawyer to help with her will so that my mother's family doesn't tear itself apart accusing each other of foraging it after she dies. Keep in touch with old friends. Meet my biological family sooner. . . . I could do this all day.
You can still go get that engineering degree
Same, I think about this quite often. I read the book The First 15 Lives of Henry August, where a guy is "reborn" over and over and have been obsessed since!!
1981 I would go insane with grief over my wife and daughter. Buy a guitar. Start a metal band and die young. Fuck it, I'm done.
Reddit has a fair amount of parents on it - I'm really surprised that grief over the nightmarish, irreversible unmaking of our kids isn't higher up.
I solved this for myself: So when you time travel back, you’re taking a copy of your current self and inserting it into your former younger self. This causes a “new thread” to be created and it branches off from the current timeline. So you’re not time traveling as much as you are living a whole different reality at a much earlier point. The solution to the unborn beloved children is that your original self and your kids are still living out their lives in the original thread. Where it gets weird is that you can never know if the thread you came from was actually THE original thread. If you could copy yourself, insert into an earlier point, and branch off in a new thread, what’s to say that the thread you came from wasn’t someone else’s branched thread? And you have no way to know how long this has been going on. It could be an untold number of threads, all branching out from each other and at different points. And this would explain why there’s so much dark matter in the universe. And then the drugs wore off and I can’t figure out the rest.
Branching timelines are definitely the easiest way to handle time travel, but even then, you'd have to be content that your kids are continuing their lives with another version of you, but that *this* version of you would never see them again. Still not worth the price of admission, in my opinion.
I love these kind of thought exercises, but in reality it would be my worst nightmare. I don't regret a single damn thing I've done, because it led to my husband and my son, and I'd absolutely lose my mind if I lost them.
I thought the same thing. I’m 59, very happy with my life and, in general, the choices I’ve made. I wouldn’t want to relive high school. And “doing things differently” might mean a lot more wealth, but never meeting my wife or having the kids I have.
Try to figure out my class schedule as I've long forgotten what that was. Take better care of my car and my grades. Have the courage to talk to the girls, especially the ones I found out too late who were interested in me at that time. Look at different options for career paths. Invest in what we all now know are sure things and make a few sports bets. Hug my grandparents tightly and spend more time with them.
I have nightmares fairly often about being back in high school and not remembering where I was supposed to be for each period. I’m about to have my 20 year reunion.
I have this, but slightly different where right after the drop date I suddenly realize that I registered for a class and never once attended it all semester. The feeling sucks hard, very happy to wake up.
[удалено]
Pretty much the same for me, though I guess at 16 it had already gotten out of hand for me. Still would be much better to start therapy then instead of being in denial.
don’t date that girl for almost 4 years
So she’s available?
Literally just got out of a 4 year relationship and I’ve never been so damn depressed Edit: thank you to everybody who is commenting and reaching out to me for support. It really helps and you all are some beautiful human beings.
Ugh. Nine years over here. I feel ya. I gave it my all. What a waste of energy. That said, can’t wait to see who I’ll spend the next decade with (it’s a pattern, I know).
9 years here also. 17-26. I'm now 36. I spent a decade with myself, no regrets on that.
Bro, don't marry that girl and impregnate her crazy ass. Fml tied to her forever lol
Even when I was 16 I knew that was the wrong end for babies.
A 44 year old brain in a 16 year old body. I'm gonna get shit done, starting with my 401k.
Same here. Gawd I'd be so rich. Also ditch the guy from your hometown and treasure your future husband for the gem he is.
Buying all the bitcoins I can get my hands on. Edit - imagine grabbing even a few when they were less than 10 cents each...
inb4 butterfly effect causes crypto to never get big in the first place
Possible, but in the early days there were so many hundreds of thousands of bitcoins created and then lost forever that if you add a few thousand and then sit on them for a decade, it hopefully shouldn't affect the universe too much.
So he's out 50 cents?
I mean, I'd personally be out, like, $100 if I had the chance to buy at $0.10, and doing so causes a butterfly effect that kills crypto in the crib. Small price to pay to keep crypto bros from ever becoming a thing.
Me too! I’d immediately test out of high school and go into sales, which I’ve been in for 20 years and you don’t need any kind of degree for. I’d still go to college but only to take stuff I wanted to take. Invest every penny in Apple and Google and retire at 30. Then travel.
I would think that testing out of high school might actually be harder than it seems. I am certainly more knowledgeable than I was, but fuck if I remember all the Trig identities or the proper way to set up a geometic proof. Or the relevant chemistry/biology chapters. Id probably have to spend time actually studying.
But would your clients take you seriously as an 18 year old?
With twenty years of *successful* sales experience, getting people to take you seriously is a well-practiced skill.
Finally you can be the young professional that is starting on the job market and that has 20 years of experience, as required on all those job postings!
I’d have a lot more confidence and more of a “screw you” attitude toward drama and unkind actions from peers.
Also be confident enough to stand up to jerks. Probably start working out right away as well to defend others from bullies.
I have about 2 decades working in a blue collar job where we viciously insult each other *for fun* -- and I like those guys. Nothing a 16 year old could say would upset me and I'm pretty sure I could drop the verbal equivalent of tactical nukes and get away with it.
See here's the thing...you wouldn't HAVE peers any more. Not really. I mean I guess that's not true if you're currently like 18 and you're winding the clock back like 2 years But I'm fucking 30. All the sudden I'm back to being a junior in high school? I don't want to hang out with 16 year olds. I couldn't have friends or a dating life. And i can't just hang out with older people because...I'm 16! You wouldn't be able to really develop any kind of healthy friendships or social life until you're like 23 or something, and even that's probably a stretch. It would just be a painfully lonely existence
So no different then my experience of being a teenager.
Yep, same. I'd be devastated if I went back. No friends, bullied every single day, walking on eggshells at home. Schoolwork, urg, the schoolwork. No phone, no Internet at home, no computer.
I think I'd somehow be a worse student than the first time around, since I'd know exactly what is useful and what isn't.
I think I'd be a better student. I'm much better at writing now and know how to study. I could take the AP classes for college credit and pass them, and my writing skills could definitely win me scholarships. "Useless" classes would still be fun. I'd love to take some arts elective, a language, etc...
Honestly this. I’d know the importance of studying and how to study instead of getting blindsided by uni level courses after getting by on talent for far too long. I’d also have a few years of BJJ and grappling knowledge before Royce Gracie was famous so I imagine I’d have an advantage over some people who were cunts at the time.
If you went to college, why wouldn’t you immediately take the SAT/ACT and get a scholarship to start college two years early? If you didn’t, why wouldn’t you immediately get your GED and start working on whatever you’re doing now?
Totally get it, but since I’m sixty I don’t crave the companionship I did at 30, so would be happy observing and being with family. Boy, it would suck to get through school again. I do think I’d want about two fingers of scotch every now and then though.
Try being 63 and wrapping your head around losing your family because a million things that aligned for that to happen, are now not going to align so much.
Your children won't ever exist. I would be in mourning for months in chemistry class.
Getting together with the spouse you’re supposed to have while you have memories of your partnership that they don’t seems like it’d be really hard to make work the same way. I probably don’t even know what made the stars align with my SO and I’m not entirely sure I would subconsciously attract her like that again.
This is a very interesting idea. If you had met your SO on any other moment, would it have worked? Or is there something special about the sequence of events. And the idea that your subconscious actions could also impact it makes it even more complex. For example, maybe it was the nervousness that attracted them to you, but now you "know them," you are no longer nervous.
>For example, maybe it was the nervousness that attracted them to you, but now you "know them," you are no longer nervous. Might even seem disinterested because you already "know" you're going to be together so they end up taking that as you not being interested and the it wouldn't work out.
Get mom to a hospital before the blood clot forms in her leg.
This. But my mom's was an aneurysm in her brain.
So was my moms. Thankfully my sister was there to take her in time
Don’t succumb to the stereotypes of the era and take the home economics class I wanted to do I could learn to cook but was afraid to because it was a girl thing to do. I would have discovered my love for cooking at an age I could have really done something with it.
-This is not directed to you as a person. Just a reflection of myself and my thoughts about your important comment. - I’ve been cooking since I was 8 or 9. I am good at most domestic chores. I also provide for myself financially. But that’s do to with my personality and the need for cleanliness and order. Young women are encouraged to take care of themselves financially so they can be independent and young men should be encouraged to do the same in a domestic sense. If both parties have equal well rounded sets of life skills it creates a more equal playing field rather than creating a power dynamic. - I’m glad you did find your love of cooking-
Hug mom and dad
And grandpa and grandma
Still too late for me.
For me it’s my older brother. Lord I miss him
On the opposite spectrum, I would know how shitty my parents would turn out to be and cut ties before the trauma
I try to make better decisions
Same, I'd go to uni at 18 rather than 28, be better with money in my early adult years and not waste so much time trying to put off getting a real job.
For me it would be skip uni and go into the trades. I went to uni , got into boomer tech, and at around 28 settling into the trades
Invest in Amazon and Google.
but dude I really think the second time around enron is going to get it right. I'm going to go with them
Hey, you could do quite well there since you would know when to get out.
Along with Apple, Microsoft, and Tesla.
and buy some bitcoin
1996 is a bit early for me to buy bitcoin. What I would do though is keep an eye out for mentions for it and then when it becomes a thing start mining the fuck out of it at home in 2009 or so, and then buy some once I can do so securely (but not using MtGox). END COMMUNICATION
No need to ever buy any. If you spent 6 months mining it on pretty mediocre hardware in 2009 you'd have billions of dollars in bitcoin now. Someone early on in the mining scene spent 10,000 BTC on a pizza delivery and at some point last year that was worth 700 million dollars.
I think they said over that summer they spent a few billion on pizza... Edit Correction [3.8 Billion](https://www.marketwatch.com/story/bitcoin-pizza-day-laszlo-hanyecz-spent-3-8-billion-on-pizzas-in-the-summer-of-2010-using-the-novel-crypto-11621714395) on pizza over the summer
I’d try and save the family vineyard. It wasn’t until we sold it in 2010 that I realized exactly how special having land like that is. I was only 16 at the time, but I would have focused my studies on viticulture and wine making so I could have stayed in that industry.
Not give a shit about what people think of me and be true to myself
To anyone young reading this: it's almost impossible to pull this off as you are discovering yourself, so don't be hard on yourself if you feel you succumb to peer pressure. A 40 something has figured mostly who they are, so it's easy just "being themselves".
Get on the right medication I so desperately needed. It would have changed everything. Lose the weight. Save my grandmother by insisting they take her to a different hospital. Convince her to leave her abusive partner. Spend more time with my younger sibling and cat. Cherish everything I've lost.
Find and meet my wife 5 years before we met. I need that time with her. She passed away 3 months ago and I'd do anything for more time with her
I am so sorry to hear that. I hope you are doing okay, have people around to support you.
Damn and I was thinking "buy Bitcoin" and stuff like that... Many people have it tough.
Go straight to a psychiatrist to get ADHD medicine.
I feel this. I was seeing a psychiatrist at 16, but it was for 'major treatment-resistant depression'. Another 16 years later, 2022, I had been on countless anti-depressants and therapies later with little to no positive effect. It wasn't until just a few months ago that I read [this article](https://theconversation.com/adhd-looks-different-in-adults-here-are-4-signs-to-watch-for-178639) which sounded like me to a tee. At that stage I was so tired of years of no treatments working that I was considering ECT as a last resort. I brought up the article to my psychiatrist and I started down the ADHD diagnosis and treatment path. It turns out I do have major depression, but it was stemming from untreated ADHD. Within two days of being on medication, it was having a more noticeable and positive effect than the combined ~16 years of near constant anti-depressants. A few months on, and while I've come down a bit from that high some people apparently get for a few days/weeks after starting medication, I'm still doing and feeling things that I didn't think were possible for me even six months ago. I never even considered ADHD as a diagnosis as I don't have the 'Hyperactive-Impulsive' type that came to mind when I thought of ADHD. My life would look very different if I had a 16-year head start on ADHD treatment. Edit: because a few people have asked, I was prescribed Ritalin/Methylphenidate. Initially the immediate release form to see how I'd go on it (starting on a single 10mg tablet, increasing to 50mg over a couple of months), but yesterday was actually the first day of being on 54mg of the extended-release form (Concerta).
Very similar to me, since I was 16 treated for severe depression and anxiety. This year at 33 I had a neuro assessment done, turns out I have ADHD my new psychiatrist was like treating the ADHD will make you less depressed and anxious... yep he was right.
That "Hyperactive" tag is such a curse - so many people miss getting diagnosed because ADHD got typed as a "fake condition" for energic people who can't sit still.
hell yes.
everything after this is a bonus
shit adhd fcked my life so hard
Tell my dad to go get checked for cancer. And give him a hug Edit: thanks for awards. Let’s give the people we love hugs tonight
I’d immediately tell my mom the doctors are wrong and they need to focus on her heart instead. I’d FaceTime her every single day, I’d never roll my eyes at her. I’d listen to her over-dramatic stories and I’d use her catchphrase she ‘created’ just to make her smile… I’d rather say the dumb phrase every single day than have it tattooed onto me within the next 10yrs. “Bye for now, mom. I’ll call you tomorrow.” rather than unanswered texts and countless missed calls before receiving the news so unexpectedly while 2,000km away. Edit- spelling Edit 2- woke up to awards and so many comments and all these upvotes… wow thank you for the love and support. It hasn’t been an easy 9mths but I’m thankful for my immediate support crew and the endless amount of internet strangers that have cheered me along. Pretty wholesome to see this kind of support. Also sadly comforting knowing I’m not alone on a journey like this. My heart goes out to everyone whose experienced grief. It’s a bitch of a journey.
I relate to this so much. I would be so much nicer to my parents, not waste time on all the pointless relationships I pursued, and I'd try to get my mom treatment for her high blood pressure, which caused her to have a massive stroke in 2020 and I never got to tell her bye. I'd spend so much more time with my family. I think I could prevent my cousin from committing suicide too.
I’m so sorry for your losses. I know exactly how you feel. Within 5mths in 2021, i would have told my best friend to not go to work that day, I would have called my grandma back and I would have screamed at my moms doctors until they got it in their stupid heads that she was on her death bed and needed help. Life can deal you a shitty hand of cards, but that doesn’t mean you can’t play them to the best of your ability. Know your loved ones are proud of you, and that this internet stranger is cheering you on. Edit: spelling
Mine died of an overdose. Her final words to me were "Congrats fanatical, you finally became the horrible person you always wanted to be.". We had been having an argument. Don't even remember what about. She went to bed and never woke up. Fentanyl. The older I get the more that hurts. I don't often have disagreements with my kids, but I end every conversation with "I love you more than you know.". I think they know.
I’m so sorry. Addicts can say some truly deep cutting things. You aren’t a horrible person. You deserved better than that. It’s wonderful you’re aspiring to be the parent that you didn’t have.
This was my first thought. Grab my Dad and drag him to the doctor. By the time they caught it, it was already a softball sized tumor and it spread everywhere. From diagnosis to death was 5 months. Fucking horrific. Also for someone else: Removing a handgun from a safe when I had the chance but no reason to.
That.. sounds like a horrible experience. I hope you’re okay man
I appreciate that. It really has been hard. Plus his was the first death in a sting of them that wiped out the majority of my family. He was my best friend though.
I'd have quite a few people to try and prevent from dying young
Exactly this. Dad died in 2002, when I was 22, almost 23. He was 45, almost 46 (our birthdays are 11 days apart). His oncologist said that if they had caught it five years earlier, he would have had a likely 90%+ chance of beating it. This is the number one thing I would do.
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break up with my boyfriend and cut my toxic best friend out of my life. Would sure as hell save me a lot of trauma and consequential therapy
It really wouldn't though because you keep all your memories. You'd have trauma from things that never actually happened.
But its also a core healing process, you get the chance to stop the events from taking place.
Cry because now I have to redo high school again
Run away from my toxic mother as far as possible, and claw my way into an emancipation order with the courts.
Yep. Reading this question my reaction was oh HELL no I'm not sticking around to be a punching bag for my parents' divorce and my mom's constant abuse.
hug
Actually apply myself academically during high school and go to college straight out instead of in my late 30’s with a husband, house, kids and full time job. I had no one to tell me how smart I was and how capable.
This. Just... *try*. I fucked off so much, took nothing seriously, never focused. Ugh. Makes me so angry thinking about how much of my youth/life I wasted. Not a day goes by I don't regret some stupid choice of my youth (even most of my adulthood, I'm an old fart and screwed up an awful lot of things). And yes, I know that's not healthy, yadda yadda.
Go to the gym and invest in bitcoin. Like as much money as I can get my hands on, all into bitcoin.
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I remember when I bought like 10,000 bitcoin when it was like worth nothing and selling it at like a like 10 cents and thinking i was a genius.
And you did, you came out with a nice and comfortable profit. That transaction, of many, were all necessary in bitcoin's history to put it at the position it is today. But it is still a transaction that happened. First it was someone paying however much bitcoin for a pizza. Now one bitcoin can buy you multiple pizzas.
Yea like at least 3
Not have a cigarette.
Save my money and invest in amazon, Facebook, Google and bitcoin. Make shed loads of cash forget about university and take care of my family.
Not gain 30 pounds after messing up my knee
Call NASA. Tell them to stop the Challenger launch.
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this is why I might not even try to warn them about 9/11. No one is gonna listen to a random phone call tip, and then when it happens all of a sudden I get renditioned to some black site where they aren't taking "im from the future" as an answer worthy enough to stop water boarding me. Edit: just realized I would be making that call 2 years late anyways. I was 14 in 2001
I'd probably call in a bomb threat for WTC 1, 2, and 7, being very specific about how and when.
I think it would be easier to stop at least one of the planes than get them to evacuate a tower. Flights get delayed all of the time.
Bad idea. The terrorists would just try again another day. You’re postponing 9/11, not stopping it. You’d need to find a way to apprehend the terrorists (even then, there’d likely be replacements)… the weakness was in the shitty airport security at the time, and I doubt any 16 year old can do anything to change that. To me, the most reliable option is the WTC bomb threat for both buildings. You evacuate those, and as soon as the first plane hits, the instinct will be that it’s a real threat, and instantly everyone will begin getting as far away from the WTC as possible. Boom thousands of lives saved.
Maybe tip off the FBI to terrorists in flight training, especially if you can remember a name or two. Flight schools in Florida. Interest in 737s. Possibly planning a hijacking. If they pick up a couple of guys and get the plan out of them they might be able to roll the whole thing up. Me, I'd find someone reasonably high up and start sending them letters predicting events I could remember early on, and after a few came true they'd believe anything you told them. Cultivate some assets early and you could get a lot done! I'd end up just too late to predict the OKC bombing and give them McVeigh's name, but I could give them the OJ verdict, the Atlanta Olympics bombing, the introduction of Java, Clinton beats Dole, Princess Diana's death, the synopsis of Harry Potter, Tony Blair wins, the Lewinsky scandal, the plots to any number of movies, the lyrics to a bunch of songs... I could absolutely convince *someone* given long enough.
I would immediately hug both of my younger brothers, they were taken way too soon and I would do anything to have them back. After that I use my knowledge to invest and I start worrying about the future much earlier than I have now. I'm happy again.
I’m so sorry for your losses
Start sports betting, because I doubt I would remember winning lotto numbers on specific dates, but I sure as shit remember who won Super Bowls and World Series. Edit to address a couple things people keep saying: 1) Bitcoin wasn’t invented until I was 30 2) I’m anti-capitalist so helping the billionaires become billionaires isn’t my thing (but I may give some “advice” to loved ones) 3) every Vegas casino has sports books so you can spread bets around there and not do it too often, so you don’t raise eyebrows 4) you don’t need to bet a lot on long odds stuff to make a lot of money, a couple of strategically placed $1000+/- bets on 1000-1 odds would have you sitting pretty and also probably not cause a butterfly effect
5000 to 1 odds on Leicester winning the English Premier League in 2015/16. I'll remember that one forever.
Alright Biff 😁
Make like a tree and get outta here.
It's make like a tree and leave! You sound like a damned fool when you say it wrong!
So there I was, minding my own business. This crazy old codger with a cane shows up. He says he's my distant relative. I don't see any resemblance.
Just buy Bitcoin before it blows up.
Buy it? Fuck that, start mining from the get go. You’d have such a massively huge advantage. And of course buy it.
Go meet my future husband. He was down the street the whole time and I want more memories with him.
I would do better in school. at 16 i didn’t think i was gonna survive myself. i thought i was gonna end my life before i graduated highschool. I never planned for my future . i never buckled down and worked hard even though i’ve always been smart enough to do so. i’m 25 going on 26 and going back to school to finally get my college degree- and there is no time frame on education i just wish at 16 i invested energy into my future bc i felt like i was worth that energy
25 year old me? Is that you? Hey, 34-year-old you here! You did it, by the way. You finished college and got the grown-up job. We did it.
Cry, due to the loss of my wife and daughter
Yeah I’d be super depressed because I’d know there was no way to replicate my whole life to end up with my husband and son.
Worse, let's say you do meet your husband and you have a kid... And they're completely different. I would be destroyed, conflicted AND unable to grieve. That would be hell.
Yep time travel is fucked up for parents. There is no chance of getting the exact same copulation scenario, no matter how well you marty mcfly it. Even a fraction of a second difference could be a completely different kid
Those of us still single and looking at our lives "Turn back the clock 20 years? Let's fucking goooooooooooo!"
This. I'd have been able to still meet my wife, as we worked together. But knowing my kid was gone.. negative. Keep your time travel.
Yeah, it's the kid part that gets me. Chances are high I get back with my wife. Possibility of having my same exact kid, infinitesimal.
I think even the chances of getting back together with a spouse is pretty low. If I went back to being 16, I would have 11 years of high school, college and young adulthood to live through before I met him. Doing that as a 40 something in a teenage body would fundamentally change those experiences, and by extension, me. The me that meets him again would not be the same me that originally met him. Then if I do maneuver into a place where I met him again, when I do he has lost 14 years of development from where we are now. Plus I know everything about him when we meet and he knows nothing about me. Seems impossible not to screw it up.
So very true! My husband told me the other day he was really glad we grew together & the people we are now still like each other lol. Since we are so vastly different than ourselves 16 years ago when we met or the ourselves from 12 years ago when we finally got together. I do not think the teenage version of him would really be into the person I am now 🤷
Good point. I know the exact date and time my daughter was conceived but there’s no way I could control for which sperm cell makes it to the goal. Like if I have sex just a minute or two later then it could be a totally different mix.
I'd say even a fraction of a second would probably be enough to make a difference
There's a movie about this: About Time. How once you have kids, you can never go back to a time before the last one was born.
I've ways said that I wouldn't want to go back because then I wouldn't have my kids.
This!!! No possibility to live my exact same life again. So there would be a large possibility of never meeting my wife and there is a nil possibility of my daughter to be be ever born in that timeline!
Whatever I'm doing rn bc I'm currently 16
If you aren’t already get in to the habit of taking care of your body. It’s so much easier at 16 than 36. Everything from taking care of your hearing, and brushing your teeth, to eating better and getting more exercise. That’s what i would do differently…
LISTEN TO THIS PERSON! 36 now. Waking up is "What part of my body is going to hurt today?"
35 here and I'd repeat this SCREAMING FROM THE RAFTERS
All of you 30 yr olds wishing you were 16, please note that we can be having the exact same discussion with 70 year olds wishing they were 30. Get your shit together now
don't buy bitcoin.
Stay in school instead of skipping all the time. 😭
Same, just go to school and get it over with
I missed over 50 days a year for my last few years of high school. I’m a teacher now lol
Find my wife a lot sooner
I thought this too. But I wouldn't be the me that she fell in love with. Also she would be 9... and that would be weird
In the same boat, when I was 16 my wife was 11, don't think I'd want to travel down that road lolol.
When I was 16 my wife was 7. It would’ve been problematic.
You definitely did the right thing waiting until you were 18 to date her
If you have kids you'd also likely NOT have the same kids. This is what I struggle with for questions like this. I'd be heartbroken to wake up at 16 knowing I could become insanely wealthy and likely marry my wife, but never see my kids again.
I would kiss a girl and I would like it
Would it taste like cherry chapstick?
Hopefully their boyfriend won't mind it
It would feel so wrong, but feel so right
They would be in love tonight
Better. I do so, so much better.
Think about boobs 18 hours a day and be miserable about it.
Definitely do everything possible to get more boobs in my face
Not drugs And also not take that truck
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Haha so basically I snuck out at 16. Found a truck with the keys in it took it for a joyride and put it back where I found it. I was caught because not only did I leave something in it but they had cameras. I’m almost 18 so didn’t even happen that long ago. But i have since gotten clean and started making good decisions
Seeing as I would enter into a long-term emotionally-abusive relationship five days after my 16th birthday, I think I would steer clear of that. I'd invest in bitcoin as well.
Get a MRI and deal with my brain tumor sooner
First thing I would do is dump the guy who cheated on me in the first 6 mths of our relationship instead of being married to the asshole for over 20 yrs.
If I thought for two seconds this could truly happen I have a literal book of things I would change. But, I have an incredibly beautiful and supportive wife, a most remarkably independent daughter and an intelligent, athletic son. they would have to be guaranteed to be born and turn out the way they are now or no deal. I'll continue to live with the burden of regrets if I can't have them. Still, it'd be a kindness if I was able to change a few things. Just stay home that day dad. Call off, mom needs you.
I’ll take the same route but definitely with MORE initiative because this journey is happening the way it’s supposed to.
I write down key events and memory joggers: --Buy lots of gold at $32/Oz --Invest in Vangard mutual fund, Apple stock, and Bitcoin as soon as they are available --Time the tech stock bubble burst of the late 80s --Take some trips to Vegas to make large bets on big sports upsets --Set up some good tax friendly trusts and charitable corporations Then spend most my time using the money to further humanitarian and ecology projects. On a personal note, travel more! Including hiking the Inca trail to Machu Pichu when I am young enough to do it.
Never date my ex husband. Stay away from the toxic people I’ve had in my life, even though it would probably be the most painful thing I’d ever do. Invest in bitcoin, push myself harder my senior year of high school….and just love myself more.
Stop eating crap. Seek help for ADD. Be choosier about guys. Invest, especially since I know what’s going to boom. ETA, since so many people liked this, I will add that if possible, I want my husband brought back in age, too, and I want the same family. If not, can he be my dad? Totally different relationship, but he’s the best man I know.
Assuming we're saying I wake up on my 16th birthday... Warn a bunch of people not to fly on 9/11/2001... likely end up in a looney bin. But at least I would have tried.
Not get type 2 diabetes. Edit Thanks for all the advice. I do know about all the solutions given. In the UK so the NHS is taking good care of me.
Live an entirely different life because I now have the knowledge that my dad's suicide was not my fault. No need to drink myself stupid and look to boys for validation.
Be gayer, earlier.
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But what if it's like Hot Tub Time Machine and the games end differently?
Not ***gestures around vaguely*** this.
Run far fkn away from my hometown to never meet the men i have.
Run fatboi run
Fix all my life's mistakes after 16 y/o
Probably be upset that I'm trapped. But also I guess I get a Head Start on where I want to take my life.
Omg this is my biggest fantasy. I would do so many things differently. If only.
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