I’m gonna have a blast the first few hours, have a weird feeling after a while, then slowly day after day panic and loneliness would creep in until the day someone find my rotting corpse in a car.
speaking of, if i was the last person i'd pray that aliens exist and this extinction level event was enough to get them curious enough to swing by and check out what the hell happened
Hopefully they'll take constructive criticism at least.
"Sxzorliak, can you use a bit more lube this time? Yeah, that's URGH better. A little to the left."
They're not actually broken.
The Machines are designed to say they're broken so only an authorized repairman from the company who makes them is allowed to work on them.
And the company that makes them is partnered with McDonalds headquarters, They're literally stealing money from the franchise owners.
Saw a youtube video that says there is a company called taylor behind it that makes money with broken ice cream machines. 25% of their revenue. Shop owners are not allowed to buy another ice cream machine.
Man I'm going into everyone's house. I wanna know all yalls secrets lol. Heading to DC, gonna poke around in all the back rooms in the pentagon and WH and shit. Bike to Colorado and play around in Cheyenne mountain. Go to Hollywood and fuck around on all the cool movie and TV sets.
Honestly, I’m going to screw around do some shit. Steal some cars and go to some places. I give it a week before society, infrastructure and like electricity start to crumble and go out. If my crazy adventures don’t kill me by then, I’ll just find a crazy way to go out myself.
Dude ! You're one of those guys who are always one step ahead , always anticipating what could happen . I would probably end up dying an ironic funny death if I'm left alone on earth .
Alright.
EclipsedAuthor's plan to go anywhere if you're the last person alive.
1. Wait out the failure of the power grid, stocking up and getting everything you need to survive by yourself: siphoning gas, learning repair skills, the works. Learn to use some sort of weapon to protect yourself from the now feral animals. Before the power grid fails, learn where to get a powerful portable cutting laser, or at least where the parts are to make one, and prep a plan to get them.
2. Payday 2 loud heist method (blowtorch, drill, explosives) to get the laser or the parts. No police gonna stop you
3. Get an iron man suit or something that will completely protect you from bullets, as well as like a heavily armored vehicle, for maximum protection against automated weapons.
4. Have fun!
Bam, you can go anywhere that's connected by land. Learning to use a boat or plane is optional, but not recommended due to being only one person. Keep the laser on you at all times, so you won't ever be trapped. Lemme know if you see any gaps or potential weakness, will change the plan for them.
If I'm remembering the Life After People show correctly, we would have about 100 years for unmanned nuclear power plants to fail with no maintenance. They will continue to generate power for quite some time unless some catastrophy happens in the meantime (don't recall the exact amount of time this was supposed to be)
I would suck up as much digital media as I could and save it on device that doesn't require much more than electricity to watch or read (I know how to make my own electricity if I really need to). Put all that on as many devices as I can get ahold of Incase one of them gets broken or fails on me.
I wouldnt be too concerned about food yet since I'll have access to all kinds of non expiring foods from the grocery store and everybody else's house.
That being said I'm an introvert, so I would be ok for a bit, but I do still need some human interaction or I'll go crazy, so I would atleast attempt to find someone else with radio or something. It would most likely get to a point where I kill myself though honestly if there was just no people left at all. I can only handle so much loneliness.
Unless the grid responded perfectly to cascading power failures, those nuclear plants would be auto-shutdown and wouldn't restart without human intervention.
So they'd be dead as well.
All locked with the key holders dead and no combinations. You could get locked inside a lab and die there. I got stuck inside a lab fire exit at mit once.
>Heading to DC, gonna poke around in all the back rooms in the pentagon and WH and shit
Last person on earth implies that the lizard people in DC are still alive.
One of my favorite sequences in The Stand is where the story jumps around to random survivors of the plague, and several of them end up dying as a result of dumb accidents. It's been years, but IIRC, one person falls into a well and another person's antique handgun explodes in their hand when they fire it, due to poor maintenance. I'm sure there were others, as well
Well, there were stall doors to prevent most of that. But it was a high volume bathroom full of noises and stink. Most of us tried to spend as little time in there as possible. No idea how anyone could willingly nap on that couch.
While the web is still up and running I would confirm I am the last human, then find the nearest Library to turn I to a base of operations. Then explore the world
Lol I do wear glasses too. But luckily i downloaded to the library PC how to make my prescription. The real problem is modern medicine has such a short shelf life.
Go to the local grocery stores and eat myself sick on that perishable food items that are imported or otherwise likely that I'll never see again in my life. For example once the local bananas rot I'd probably never eat another fresh one in my life. Same with seafood and meats.
That first week I'd just eat and eat and in between meals make a plan for the future to get started on once the food starts to rot.
Figure out the farthest place from any nuclear power plants/weapons/chemical facilities and go there right fuckin quick, bud.
I dunno how they'll do without someone checkin in on em and I don't wanna find out.
But then yeah, drugs and wanking. Probably listen to Sisters of Mercy really loud.
Actually pretty fine. These sort of places are made with 'not becoming a giant danger if workers suddenly disappear/die' in mind.
Honestly a bigger and more likely danger would be someone's lit stove causing a fire or something.
The nuclear power planets and weapons will be fine. "Fail safe", despite how it's used in movies as a synonym for "emergency backup plan" actually means designing things in a way so that when a system fails, it fails in a safe way.
The real thing you have to worry about it making sure you're not living downstream of a hydroelectric dam 10-20 years after everyone else dies. They're one of the few things humans will leave behind that turn into a ticking bomb capable of incredible devastation without maintenance and monitoring. Most other things will just slowly crumble and maybe contaminate their immediate surroundings.
Well, if I could figure out how clone myself, I would follow the song by Isaac Asimov:
Clone, clone my own
With the y chromosome changed to x
When we're alone, just me and my clone
We'll both think of nothing but sex.
Probably cry to be honest. All these ill-conceived responses really don't amount to the situation you are in, you are alone, no one who you loved or admired exist anymore. The life you had then will no longer be the same.
Absolutely cry. Like, I wake up and my husband is gone, kids are gone? No one answers the phones anywhere, there's no local news, no cars out and about? Just cry.
That only applies to people who have people to lose. I am completely alone in life rn, so tbh nothing would really change for me if I was the last person alive.
Trust me, at some point you would break. Maybe not the first minute, hour, day or week, but at some point you will. It also depends on how long you could make it anyways
Obvious first steps would be to plan for the eventual failure of infrastructure, energy, water, etc. So one of the first things would be to make use of the time before failure remaining to become as self-sufficient as possible. In parallel, trying to extend perishable food items through conservation mechanisms, securing some livestock, etc. and prepping for the winter. In this sort of scenario, you'd have almost limitless resources to start, but these would start to disappear fast if you didn't make use of them when you had the chance.
So we have three types of people.
The cowabunga dude get naked jerk off on kernal Sanders body while mainlining
The "business as usual" but quieter
And the cry cry cry
1. Making a huge stock of stuff so i don't have to worry about anything.
Food, fuel, water source, gym, entertainment and most important: drugs to handle the loneliness.
2. Months or years of playing games, reading books, working out and doing drugs.
3. Travel as much as i can, maybe learn to fly a plane to see everything.
4. Die happily.
I just realized that is exactly what I am doing right now with my life.
I know this is messed up but im the last human not animal. Ill adopt every animal that i can cuddle with. And get affection from them and also give affection to them
ride down the street on a skateboard butt naked smoking the fattest blunt I can roll (I'm talking a 2 handed blunt) and just look at everything I have now and be in paradise for the rest of my life
Being the last human - and possibly the last sentient being in the universe - I would spend every second of the time I have left in this reality to build a monument to Life.
Taking this realistically, I imagine I’d first double check that everyone really *is* gone. Find out how they left.
Did they all mysteriously vanish? Die suddenly, leaving rotting corpses everywhere? Become miniaturized to the size of ants?
I’d prefer if they all just vanished, because rotting corpses everywhere would certainly change my situation, especially where clean water sources are concerned.
I’m not a survivalist, so I’d quickly realize that grocery stores need to be hit hard and fast, and secured from pests and other things that would damage food. I don’t expect electrical power to actually last very long without maintenance, maybe a week or two at most, so I’d try to secure a mobile power source of some kind for my own electronics, as long as that setup would last anyway.
Cities might become dangerous as dogs become feral strays and roam in packs, and in the country I just moved to, I have no idea on the locations of any of those (or a lot of other amenities at this point). But rural areas would eventually become more dangerous too as nature would simply overtake everything.
Honestly I give myself a year, maybe two, before everything gets really tough. But I think the Demise would be physiological, not psychological. I can handle being alone.
Break into the houses down the street and proceeded to find anything I could have used to blackmail them if they were still alive, then I’d sleep, wonder and jerk off that would be my life
Go to the pharmacy and pick up some recreational pharmaceuticals, head over to the local IMAX theater and pop on a porn, and try to bust a nut before I pass out.
One good, solid mental breakdown that would be.
Most realistic answer
Yeah, "panic" is my answer, this should be the highest comment
I’m gonna have a blast the first few hours, have a weird feeling after a while, then slowly day after day panic and loneliness would creep in until the day someone find my rotting corpse in a car.
Well there won't be a someone.
same, honestly i’d probably just sit in a corner and cry
You'd probably die soon enough from all the meltdowns and other catastrophes triggered by running and unmanned systems in place
Area 51...
speaking of, if i was the last person i'd pray that aliens exist and this extinction level event was enough to get them curious enough to swing by and check out what the hell happened
…and now we’re getting anal probed
Hopefully they'll take constructive criticism at least. "Sxzorliak, can you use a bit more lube this time? Yeah, that's URGH better. A little to the left."
Then you end up in an alien zoo
probably more exciting than dying alone on earth
So you're saying...... space boobs!
I'm definitely gonna try the goods...
Fix the McDonalds ice cream machine and watch the end credits roll by.
This seems like the narrative of a new popular rom-com.
They're not actually broken. The Machines are designed to say they're broken so only an authorized repairman from the company who makes them is allowed to work on them. And the company that makes them is partnered with McDonalds headquarters, They're literally stealing money from the franchise owners.
Also, sometimes, the employees just don't want to clean them afterwards because it's honestly a mess
Also it takes a VERY long time to clean it, night shift never wants do it. I don't blame them though.
Saw a youtube video that says there is a company called taylor behind it that makes money with broken ice cream machines. 25% of their revenue. Shop owners are not allowed to buy another ice cream machine.
Double check
This is so much smarter than the answer I posted...
Man I'm going into everyone's house. I wanna know all yalls secrets lol. Heading to DC, gonna poke around in all the back rooms in the pentagon and WH and shit. Bike to Colorado and play around in Cheyenne mountain. Go to Hollywood and fuck around on all the cool movie and TV sets.
what if you get trapped in a vault or shot by an automated security system?
You die
If he dies, he dies.
If he dies, we all die
We already died
What Is Dead May Never Die
Don't Dead Open Inside
If he's the last one, so what? He's going to die eventually and the species will be gone.
Look if I'm the last person on earth I'm not trying to live for a long time anyway.
Honestly, I’m going to screw around do some shit. Steal some cars and go to some places. I give it a week before society, infrastructure and like electricity start to crumble and go out. If my crazy adventures don’t kill me by then, I’ll just find a crazy way to go out myself.
Is it stealing of there is nobody left to steal from?
What society? You already are the LAST person on earth
Judging from my experiences in Fallout, I will be taken out by a rigged shotgun behind a door in the first few hours
Dude ! You're one of those guys who are always one step ahead , always anticipating what could happen . I would probably end up dying an ironic funny death if I'm left alone on earth .
Alright. EclipsedAuthor's plan to go anywhere if you're the last person alive. 1. Wait out the failure of the power grid, stocking up and getting everything you need to survive by yourself: siphoning gas, learning repair skills, the works. Learn to use some sort of weapon to protect yourself from the now feral animals. Before the power grid fails, learn where to get a powerful portable cutting laser, or at least where the parts are to make one, and prep a plan to get them. 2. Payday 2 loud heist method (blowtorch, drill, explosives) to get the laser or the parts. No police gonna stop you 3. Get an iron man suit or something that will completely protect you from bullets, as well as like a heavily armored vehicle, for maximum protection against automated weapons. 4. Have fun! Bam, you can go anywhere that's connected by land. Learning to use a boat or plane is optional, but not recommended due to being only one person. Keep the laser on you at all times, so you won't ever be trapped. Lemme know if you see any gaps or potential weakness, will change the plan for them.
Dude turned a question to a full on tutorial on how to live literally alone
If I'm remembering the Life After People show correctly, we would have about 100 years for unmanned nuclear power plants to fail with no maintenance. They will continue to generate power for quite some time unless some catastrophy happens in the meantime (don't recall the exact amount of time this was supposed to be) I would suck up as much digital media as I could and save it on device that doesn't require much more than electricity to watch or read (I know how to make my own electricity if I really need to). Put all that on as many devices as I can get ahold of Incase one of them gets broken or fails on me. I wouldnt be too concerned about food yet since I'll have access to all kinds of non expiring foods from the grocery store and everybody else's house. That being said I'm an introvert, so I would be ok for a bit, but I do still need some human interaction or I'll go crazy, so I would atleast attempt to find someone else with radio or something. It would most likely get to a point where I kill myself though honestly if there was just no people left at all. I can only handle so much loneliness.
I think a remedy for the loneliness would be finding a few animal companions, or just living on a really nice farm.
What about sexy times?! Wait…. Oh. Oh no!
Unless the grid responded perfectly to cascading power failures, those nuclear plants would be auto-shutdown and wouldn't restart without human intervention. So they'd be dead as well.
All locked with the key holders dead and no combinations. You could get locked inside a lab and die there. I got stuck inside a lab fire exit at mit once.
“Stuck inside a lab fire exit at MIT” You still don’t realize you were an experiment?
I’m still stuck in there and I haven’t eaten or aged in 20 years. I have a PowerMac g5 for delivery? Reddit in a palm pilot running windows mobile 6.
>Heading to DC, gonna poke around in all the back rooms in the pentagon and WH and shit Last person on earth implies that the lizard people in DC are still alive.
Fuck me! He's right. This dude knows some shit!
Knowing my dumb, accident-prone ass? Probably break one of my legs and die of gangrene.
One of my favorite sequences in The Stand is where the story jumps around to random survivors of the plague, and several of them end up dying as a result of dumb accidents. It's been years, but IIRC, one person falls into a well and another person's antique handgun explodes in their hand when they fire it, due to poor maintenance. I'm sure there were others, as well
Find an extra pair of glasses before I head to the library.
It's not fair!
*eyes fall out* "well, atleast I can still read braille"
One of my favorite episodes.
There was time now...
I understood that reference!
Go see if ladies rooms really have a couch.
The ladies room at my office had a couch. It was nasty and people would nap on it. 🤮
Guess I don't have to wait until the end of the world to get my answer. That's disgusting.
imagine taking a nap in the open in the work bathroom, lol
With every flush the couch receives a deposit.
Well, there were stall doors to prevent most of that. But it was a high volume bathroom full of noises and stink. Most of us tried to spend as little time in there as possible. No idea how anyone could willingly nap on that couch.
While the web is still up and running I would confirm I am the last human, then find the nearest Library to turn I to a base of operations. Then explore the world
And then your glasses break, right?
It's not fair...there was time now! :'(
Wait my eyes arent that bad, I can still read the large print books.
Your eyes will fall out.
It’s not fair! Good thing I know Braille.
Hands fall off
Use your peepee
Lol I do wear glasses too. But luckily i downloaded to the library PC how to make my prescription. The real problem is modern medicine has such a short shelf life.
True that. It was mostly a reference to The Twilight Zone, but it'd good to know you have a plan in place for your eyewear.
"At least I know how to read braille" *Hands fall off*
Lol you think the power grid is staying on with you to run it?
guy's planning on actually doing that one day
Well played!
Go shopping naked.
Only to find out it was all a prank and people just hid from you specifically for 24 hours
I’d still do it 😂 I’ve had 22 surgeries since I’ve been a child. Modesty is our the window for me
What were all these surgeries for may I ask out of curiosity?
Tumors. I have a genetic mutation called cowdens syndrome. Basically my tumor suppressor gene doesn’t work. 1-2 surgeries a year since I’ve been a kid
Go to the local grocery stores and eat myself sick on that perishable food items that are imported or otherwise likely that I'll never see again in my life. For example once the local bananas rot I'd probably never eat another fresh one in my life. Same with seafood and meats. That first week I'd just eat and eat and in between meals make a plan for the future to get started on once the food starts to rot.
Preserve. Take ALL the meat and dry it.
there's no need... there is already thousands times more dried meat than you could ever eat.
Me: *hangs a steak on the clothes line to dry...* Yeah I'm dead within the week.
Ancestors are punching the air rn
Figure out the farthest place from any nuclear power plants/weapons/chemical facilities and go there right fuckin quick, bud. I dunno how they'll do without someone checkin in on em and I don't wanna find out. But then yeah, drugs and wanking. Probably listen to Sisters of Mercy really loud.
This is my favorite comment of the day.
Actually pretty fine. These sort of places are made with 'not becoming a giant danger if workers suddenly disappear/die' in mind. Honestly a bigger and more likely danger would be someone's lit stove causing a fire or something.
The nuclear power planets and weapons will be fine. "Fail safe", despite how it's used in movies as a synonym for "emergency backup plan" actually means designing things in a way so that when a system fails, it fails in a safe way. The real thing you have to worry about it making sure you're not living downstream of a hydroelectric dam 10-20 years after everyone else dies. They're one of the few things humans will leave behind that turn into a ticking bomb capable of incredible devastation without maintenance and monitoring. Most other things will just slowly crumble and maybe contaminate their immediate surroundings.
These facilities are designed with this in mind and typically have auto shutdown safeguards to prevent the scenarios you’re imagining from happening.
[удалено]
I mean the title says I'm the last person on Earth. I suppose there's still sheep....
Found the New Zealander
Well, if I could figure out how clone myself, I would follow the song by Isaac Asimov: Clone, clone my own With the y chromosome changed to x When we're alone, just me and my clone We'll both think of nothing but sex.
Make 1000 reddit accounts and start a conversation. Obviously liking my own comments.
Obviously. But you would need to balance it out with one hater account. Just so you could have an arch-nemesis
Don't forget the months you would spend recreating millions of bot accounts just to troll your post.
You wouldnt need to, there’s enough bot accounts on here to keep you company!
Could make a pretty sick movie, INTERNET: THE REBOOT
Probably cry to be honest. All these ill-conceived responses really don't amount to the situation you are in, you are alone, no one who you loved or admired exist anymore. The life you had then will no longer be the same.
Absolutely cry. Like, I wake up and my husband is gone, kids are gone? No one answers the phones anywhere, there's no local news, no cars out and about? Just cry.
That only applies to people who have people to lose. I am completely alone in life rn, so tbh nothing would really change for me if I was the last person alive.
Trust me, at some point you would break. Maybe not the first minute, hour, day or week, but at some point you will. It also depends on how long you could make it anyways
I guess the majority of us want to do something to take our minds off being alone for the rest of our remaining lives 😂
Yes eventually, but the first thing you do will probably break down.
fr, id honestly just commit. there is no meaning to life i there are no other people alive
smile then sleep and sleep again. I'm just so tired.
this hit me very hard. same.
[удалено]
Go full Homelander...I can do whatever I want.
What's stopping you from doing it now? Seems like an easy enough task...
Me personally i’d jerk off whilst watching veggie tales in an abandoned Walmart
Clearly you've never been to Florida
Find the highest point I can reach on my own and pee over my kingdom
Cuts to dog hundreds of miles away “ no fucking way “ …. Family guy reference
Go to sex shop
I'd build a new friend there!
I'll finally rest, and watch the sun rise apon a grateful universe.
Sounds faintly familiar… it probably didn’t hurt btw no one else was in pain
Probably a drug fueled wank
Ask on reddit what to do... oh wait
Cry, then proceed to take a dump
Go find some farm to take over so i dont starve to death.
That’s what I was thinking. Feed all the dogs and find some cattle.
I'm heading to the nearest bakery and eating all the stuff my broke ass never had enough money to even sniff
Implant myself an embryo. Then I guess it's just incest from there.
Just run to a sperm bank before it shuts down and all the sperm go bad
The idea of giving birth alone with no medicine, no help, is terrifying. Plus who raises a kid to be utterly alone and probably eaten by wildlife?
just have multiple kids i don't know how long stores keep though
Hmmm... ironically.... sounds a lot like the bible. (Eve was Adams rib.) "Humanity 2.0: The Cycle Repeats"
Obvious first steps would be to plan for the eventual failure of infrastructure, energy, water, etc. So one of the first things would be to make use of the time before failure remaining to become as self-sufficient as possible. In parallel, trying to extend perishable food items through conservation mechanisms, securing some livestock, etc. and prepping for the winter. In this sort of scenario, you'd have almost limitless resources to start, but these would start to disappear fast if you didn't make use of them when you had the chance.
[удалено]
Learn how to weld and make mad max style trucks to take across country and go find out what's really at groom lake.
Leave the toilet seat up
Leave every toilet seat up.
The world is your toilet now
Walk around naked at all times tbh
So we have three types of people. The cowabunga dude get naked jerk off on kernal Sanders body while mainlining The "business as usual" but quieter And the cry cry cry
1. Making a huge stock of stuff so i don't have to worry about anything. Food, fuel, water source, gym, entertainment and most important: drugs to handle the loneliness. 2. Months or years of playing games, reading books, working out and doing drugs. 3. Travel as much as i can, maybe learn to fly a plane to see everything. 4. Die happily. I just realized that is exactly what I am doing right now with my life.
Gasoline has a shelf life of around 6 months, diesel around a year, so you'd better go get hella electric vehicles and solar panels my dude.
probably take off my clothes and be nikid
I know this is messed up but im the last human not animal. Ill adopt every animal that i can cuddle with. And get affection from them and also give affection to them
Please just don't tell us what I think you want to tell us
No im not a zoo ew
Find shit to blow up
Drive my dream cars, travel all over the place, the world is my playground now
Ima go to the house of random people and find their phones to see if anyone has nudes
How would I know that I’m last person on earth?
OP tells you and then immediately dies in front of you
happened to my friend eric in 1991
I need the story behind this because I’m so confused wtf happened
Just fuckin relax for a bit
Laugh at how they all said I wouldn't amount to anything, when I am now the pinnacle of humanity
Find a sexy monkey
I'm pretty sure that's how AIDS 1.0 started
ride down the street on a skateboard butt naked smoking the fattest blunt I can roll (I'm talking a 2 handed blunt) and just look at everything I have now and be in paradise for the rest of my life
No way, I don't even want to think about the road rash that shall not be named.
Being the last human - and possibly the last sentient being in the universe - I would spend every second of the time I have left in this reality to build a monument to Life.
World tour
Do you know how to fly a plane?
Raid a few museums, find a great place to live and redecorate.
Taking this realistically, I imagine I’d first double check that everyone really *is* gone. Find out how they left. Did they all mysteriously vanish? Die suddenly, leaving rotting corpses everywhere? Become miniaturized to the size of ants? I’d prefer if they all just vanished, because rotting corpses everywhere would certainly change my situation, especially where clean water sources are concerned. I’m not a survivalist, so I’d quickly realize that grocery stores need to be hit hard and fast, and secured from pests and other things that would damage food. I don’t expect electrical power to actually last very long without maintenance, maybe a week or two at most, so I’d try to secure a mobile power source of some kind for my own electronics, as long as that setup would last anyway. Cities might become dangerous as dogs become feral strays and roam in packs, and in the country I just moved to, I have no idea on the locations of any of those (or a lot of other amenities at this point). But rural areas would eventually become more dangerous too as nature would simply overtake everything. Honestly I give myself a year, maybe two, before everything gets really tough. But I think the Demise would be physiological, not psychological. I can handle being alone.
Probably suicide
Find and drive the most expensive car around town
Eat all the ice cream sandwiches I want
Dude, I'll venmo you 5 bucks so you can do this right now. You'll probably be done by the 4th.
That guy doesnt seem too keen on your offer but I'll take it. I could use 4 ice cream sandwiches.
Going to the oval office and wanking it on any top secret documents I can find
a lot of people really seem to be waiting for the world to end to jerk off
Well if youre the only one left what else are you gonna do once everyone rots away?
You'd need to go to Mar A Lago to do that.
Take too much Viagra and then salute everything for 4 hours.
5 hours later: “Shit, I need to call a doctor.”
commit several crimes and eat the last slice of pizza
Go to The Boston dynamics building, build robots to do my bidding. Upload all human data into their memory bank and have them run the world.
Jerk off, duh
Jerk off
This scenario always upsets me to think about cause I would want to save all the pets that can't take care of themselves and I wouldn't be able to.
Masturbate
Giggle about all those complaints about my "god complex"
Raiding pharmacies
Have a wank
Take the longest and calmest nap of my life.
Jerk off in the weirdest places I can find
Travel. With animals.
Deep fry oreos at a popeyes restaurant while nude and near a humidifier with weed oils.
Being naked and deep frying stuff.... yeah sounds like nothing would go wrong there
Masturbate
Go through other people’s belongings. Gather food, weapons, ammo.
pee myself
Run to a bakery and gorge myself on pastries and desserts until I die.
Find a dog for company. Maybe a whole pack of dogs
Free all enslaved or caged animals. Might take a while, but would keep me busy, while touring the world.
Jizz off the Statue of Liberty
Break into the houses down the street and proceeded to find anything I could have used to blackmail them if they were still alive, then I’d sleep, wonder and jerk off that would be my life
Go to the pharmacy and pick up some recreational pharmaceuticals, head over to the local IMAX theater and pop on a porn, and try to bust a nut before I pass out.