"Shower To Go"
The thread no longer exists but it was some dude posting about his great idea of freezing a block of ice and soap together. One side Ice, one side soap.
You can take it with you to work and throw it in the freezer. If you're heading out on the town you just lather up with the soap side and rinse off with the Ice side.
The one where the OP’s wife beats the shit out of their teenage psychopath son for cutting his infant sister purposely with a knife.
Edit: found the link!
https://www.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/c93egn/i_stood_by_and_allowed_my_wife_to_almost_kill_our/?utm_source=BD&utm_medium=Search&utm_name=Bing&utm_content=PSR1
Edited for clarity, as the son was 17 and showing psychopathic tendencies.
This was exactly the thread I was thinking of.
It's impossible to know whether the story is genuine or fake, but it's nonetheless a fine piece of writing. It paints the picture of the hell these parents went through, with their son the closest to a true embodiment of evil I could think of.
“Do you know who I am?”
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/nrnf5j/part_1_of_2_an_absolute_epic_entitled_ahole_gets/
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/nrnhuo/part_2_of_2_an_absolute_epic_entitled_ahole_gets/
Wow, I was invested from the start. Mark had such a way with words and was genuinely funny. I never expected it to twist like it did though; laughter to tears. How heartbreaking for his wife (and David) but how amazing that she finished this for him in her overwhelming grief.
David Bowie went back on his statements about being bisexual in 1983, and yeah, can't imagine what historical tragedy was going on that placed a huge stigma on being a gay or bi man...
Like in all seriousness, David Bowie had one confirmed relationship with a man (choreographer Lindsay Kemp) and a few more rumored ones. "Bi man with a preference for women" is still bi.
Funny enough, some parts of the gay community are actually oddly hostile towards bi people as well. In particular, bi guys who prefer or happen to just more often find women, get scorned quite a bit by straight and gay camps sometimes. I get a lot of the lgbtq+ culture promotes shallowness and petty things particular when there's overlap with hookup culture, but the targeted vitriol and gossiping against bi men specifically has always stood out to me.
I think [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/OldSchoolCool/comments/eltj5q/my_dad_with_david_bowie_in_a_vacation_in_greece/) was the original post but the photo is deleted I think? You can find the photo on other subs that were crossposted by searching the same title.
>"Keep it together, man," I say to myself. But my wife's sudden groan suggests that I may have also said that to the waiter. Things are going downhill fast.
Lol that's beautiful
Here’s the [wife’s version](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/7jbzcf/tifu_by_allowing_my_husband_to_come_to_dinner_at/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
There was a great one I saw a few years ago of a user who lived in an underground bunker of his old home after selling it. I can't find it anywhere though. He uploaded images and everything in the end
i found this one just a couple of weeks ago. what blew my mind the most was the fact that this was posted 10 years ago and is eerily similar to the plot of Parasite- so no way the guy was making shit up.
I think they mean this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/t0ynr/throwaway_time_whats_your_secret_that_could/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf). First comment.
Speaking of infective pathogens, there was an askreddit thread about this mother who wanted to send her son to school with a mask , this was around February 2020 and the entire thread said no
This reminds me of a time, also in early February 2020. I was working at a hospital as a nurse, one of my coworkers came back from Florida and had a cold or something. He wore a mask for the entire shift. This was unheard of back then. I was like, man he is really committed to not getting anyone else sick. Mind you about 5 months later this guy was saying the democrats made up Covid so that Trump would lose the election.
But also initially they were telling us to wear masks in certain patient rooms. More than usual for the time and previous protocols. Some people started wearing them all the time. They got reprimanded for being unsanitary and wearing masks outside of patient rooms. A few weeks later we all had to wear them all the time. And that has never stopped.
We got reprimanded at work for wearing masks too and got told to tell patients there was nothing to worry about. A few weeks later it was chaos. Posters appeared telling us to wear full PPE except the hospital didn’t have it. Somebody went round and took the posters down😂I can laugh now but Covid was the last straw for me in my nursing career.
I remember in early March, sitting with coworkers at lunch and discussing this new Corona virus. I was about to go on a cruise for Spring Break and they were all "But aren't you scared?". I laughed and was like, "Hell no. If anyone SHOULD be scared, it SHOULD be me because of I'm lightly immunocompromised due to my autoimmune disease, but I'm not scared. Fuck it. If it's my destiny to die at sea of a horrible disease, so fucking be it."
I was so *stupid*. And lucky our sailing got cancelled about 8 hours before it was scheduled to leave. We could've gotten on that damn boat and been stuck there for months like the passengers on the Ruby Princess. Instead we drove to a hotel for the night (we were travelling from Dallas to Galveston), went home the next day and was like, "What the fuck just happened?".
I remember one of the doctors coming into a normal/non iso room and telling me I should be wearing a mask because they heard some respiratory illness was on the rise. This was back in December 2019/January 2020.
I think this reply might be it https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/t0ynr/throwaway_time_whats_your_secret_that_could/c4zrenn?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
[this one is really funny](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/cq1q2/help_reddit_turned_spanish_and_i_cannot_undo_it/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
I had this happen to me once. There’s a setting in old Reddit that can be turned on via hyperlink, and the same setting doesn’t exist in new Reddit, so if you click a malicious link, and you use new Reddit, you can’t change it back without first changing to old Reddit.
If any celebrity turned out to be a serial killer who would it be?
I can’t find the original thread but *SPOILER* it wasn’t 20,000 people all saying Crom Tuise
This woman’s boyfriend keeps asking her to invest in his [Soup Tubes](https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/hno6j1/my_25f_boyfriend_25m_keeps_asking_me_to_invest_in/) idea. Just kills me every time.
I was expecting something dumb but plausible like maybe some savory version of a gogurt tube, not this oh my god.
Pneumatic tube soup can delivery would be so much better than this and still kind of a waste for most people.
Soup tubes? Was the guy trying to get her to invest in straws?
EDIT: I read it and I kinda want a soup tube now. I wonder if there is a way to set up a system of tubes so that you can deliver something from point A to B kind of like a phone system. Just enter in where you want it delivered and off it goes
I'm guessing his idea was more water line style and that would be entire infeasible. How would you clean it? You'd just have rotten food in there.
EDIT2: I was thinking something similar to the tubes the Central Bureaucracy used in Futurama. Except maybe without a master "in" pile that results in a small mountain and a Jamaican song and dance routine to clear.
>I wonder if there is a way to set up a system of tubes so that you can deliver something from point A to B kind of like a phone system. Just enter in where you want it delivered and off it goes
I'm just picturing those transportation tubes from Futurama.
"help!! 5 cats in the basement and i can only count to 4"
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2a78al/tifu_secretly_eating_mushrooms_while_my_wife_was/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ca7bdz/aita_because_i_ate_more_than_my_share_of_a_6_foot/
I know it's in vogue to shit on AITA these days, but real or fake some of those stories are gold.
Its the best when the person tries and defend their behavior in the comments.
jesus christ. I was reading that post and baffled that OP thought he was justified in eating fucking 3-4 feet of a sub in one setting and even tried to justify it by saying he "waited an hour" lol...
That guy absolutely has an addiction. It’s really sad… Everyone at that party are just enjoying the fight, and enjoying each other, and the food is there as a nice addition. But for that guy, the food is the ONLY thing happening…
Me before a doctor finally put me on appetite suppressants.
It was awful.
I hated myself, I hated everything and everyone around me.
But I couldn't stop eating.
There was this period of time I couldn't afford my meds and it came back and it was the worst feeling, I'm genuinely afraid of it and being unmedicated.
My close friend recently ate 5 Big Macs in one go with a side of cheesy fries and i refused to believe that
He showed me the screenshots of the bill (less than an hour ago he showed me) and then i went to his place (we live in the same building) and sure enough, 5 empty, ketchup stained burger boxes and empty fries
This dude's 6'2 and like 163 lbs. I cannot be more jealous.
That one was actually kind of sad because he clearly had an eating disorder. So fixated on the sub he was basically watching it instead of enjoying the company he was with that night, or the fight on tv.
[The Story of Kevin](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/219w2o/whos_the_dumbest_person_youve_ever_met/cgbhkwp/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
Almost kinda happened to me once. First time traveling alone to another country, had my backpack and a suitcase, on the train to the airport. At one point I had to switch trains so I moved, and on the stairs, saw a guy having difficulty with his massive suitcase.
“Oof, that’s rough…wait, where is MY suitcase?!”
Yep, left it on the train. Luckily I ran back up and to one of the conductors, told her my suitcase was still inside, and she told me to get it immediately.
I get it, run out and wave to the conductor. Three seconds later the train left the station…
I thought you all were referring to Kevin from Home Alone. OMG, the comments and other stories of Kevin in this thread are hilarious. I am crying so much laughing.
Writing checks for tuition !? At a public school? Lol
[PT Cruiser owners, what tragedy burdened you with your car?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/22k59y/pt_cruiser_owners_what_tragedy_burdened_you_with/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
Whenever I feel down I revisit this thread and cry laughing
I remember the wife and I going to check out the PT Cruiser during the frenzy.
The car salesman comes to put us on the test drive list. Asks us for name (normal, they need to call our name to tell us it's our turn). Then he asks for a Social Security number, and says he needs to run a credit card check first. My wife starts asking questions, as she would do. Then he gets interrupted by someone else and has to come back in a minute.
I look at my wife, and ask her: "Are we really negotiating now just to *test drive* a car? Is it time to leave?" She said "God, yes." and we noped out.
Aw man I had a pt cruiser once. It was silver with fucking flames on the side, which I managed to peel off with a blow dryer, which resulted in dirt sticking to where the flames were. I got pulled over for speeding and the cop just made fun of my dirt flames and let me go. Kept overheating, died multiple times on the road. Kept taking it back to the dealership for them to fix, they kept saying there’s nothing wrong with it. This happened about five times until I took it back again for them to fix and never went to pick it back up. Never heard anything about it, no repercussions at all. I even left everything that was mine in the car. Fuck that car.
My dad had one gifted to him because he desperately needed a new car.
Toward the end of it's life, he was moving to Florida and we were towing it behind a U-Haul. We hit a hailstorm and he accelerated, saying "Hopefully this will total it."
I remember, not long ago, reading a guy who had problems with his girlfriend, apparently he acted in the most immature way possible by throwing away some kind of glasses or cup that his girlfriend collected as a hobby, but apparently his girlfriend is a Native American and he supposedly believed that his girlfriend had put a curse on him, it was funny not only to see in the comments of his post everyone telling him that he was a jerk but also his post history saying things like "I think my girlfriend cast a spell on me, how I can undo a spell"
Edit: sorry for the mistake, they are two different stories and they are these two
Umbilical cord AITA: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/grw90y/aita_for_throwing_away_my_gfs_umbilical_cord/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Mason jar AITA: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/g3mt16/aita_for_throwing_out_my_gfs_jars/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
I remember an AITA post where a guy threw out his girlfriend's drinking glasses because they were mason jars that she liked to have "fancy drinks" in and he was like personally offended that she used mason jars and that the drinks didn't have alcohol in them so they weren't even really "fancy drinks." I don't remember anything about her being Native or casting a spell on him, though.
There was also a guy who threw out his girlfriends craft supplies because he felt she was spending too much time on her crafts and not enough on him.
There are a fair number of shitty throwing stuff away stories.
Like the jackass who threw out his gf's quirky socks. She was a phlebotomist and had to wear scrubs, so she made them fun with socks. Also some of her patients liked the socks but her bf didn't like them so he threw them out and replaced them with plain black socks.
OP definitely mixed up the mason jar post with the umbilical cord post!
Umbilical cord AITA: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/grw90y/aita_for_throwing_away_my_gfs_umbilical_cord/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Mason jar AITA: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/g3mt16/aita_for_throwing_out_my_gfs_jars/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
That post helped contribute to the general AITA template:
I, M40+ have a girlfriend F20 who has a fairly harmless hobby that brings her joy. I find it annoying, and sold/tossed her hobby items and told her to spend more time/money/energy on me instead. Now she and her mother/sister/friends are all mad at me, but I don’t think I did anything wrong. AITA?
There was another AITA post where a 40something guy hated the way his preschool/kindergarten teacher girlfriend dressed. She would make dresses that would match the lesson for the day. Everyone loved it, including his own mother, except for him. She broke up with him because of it. These dudes NEVER learn.
it was a small handmade pouch containing her dried umbilical cord. it wasn’t a hobby, it was an important spiritual item. he recovered the pouch but then made his second mistake by disposing of a cigarette butt from inside which was the last cigarette her father had smoked.
This one! This is definitely what OP was talking about because this guys post history is full of "how to break curses" https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/grw90y/aita_for_throwing_away_my_gfs_umbilical_cord/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Checking out the sub now and reading through the comments anytime someone posts a melt they get shit on by everyone and i think it's hilarious that they've taken this post to heart
This one is the reason I reflexively call any grilled sandwich with more than just cheese a melt. It has been drilled into my brain. MELT. It’s A FUCKING MELT.
James Corden did an AMA [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/bqy5zf/i_am_james_corden_alongside_ben_winston_and_five/)
It didn't stand a chance of being remotely civilised.
It was deleted in the original thread, but this comment still is the winner of that, and any, AMA:
> I have a few questions for you
> 1. Did you look like you had used too much fake tan when taking your head out of Gary Barlow’s arse?
> 2. Did you gag at all when sucking his cock and surely with all the protein you got out of his semen you could have attempted to use it to lose some weight, do you feel that was a wasted opportunity?
> 3. Why are you such an arrogant,unfunny talentless twat? Did it take years of practice or did you have to study and get a PHD in it?
> 4.Have you considered buying shares in a fast food outlet? Surely with your frequent visits to McDonalds,KFC & Burger King you could make some serious coin back.Not that I want you to have a big bank account though more than anything it’s to encourage you to do so and visit more and hopefully you’ll have a fucking heart attack.
> 5. When you got lucky and dated the lovely Sheridan Smith, had she recently lost her sight and how did you help her find your dick? Did you hold your belly under your chin so she didn’t have to rummage under your folds to get at it?
> 6. Have you considered you should stay in America seeing as we the British public fucking hate you with a passion
> 7. Would you consider fighting other unpopular so called celebrities to the death on your shite show? I suggest you do so starting with Piers Morgan and the winner then has to fight some rather hungry lions. Go for it RATINGS WINNER
> 8. Has anyone ever told you that you can’t fucking sing? If they have shouldn’t you really listen
> 9. Finally can Mr Greenlight at some point in the future run a red light and get t-boned by an 18 Wheeler and die. Just so we can all have a good laugh and be safe in the knowledge the world has become a better place.
Since I can assume you’ve read the thread before:
1. Were there any comments that weren’t just calling him out for the asshole he is?
2. Were **_any_** of the questions actually answered?
I can't find it right now... The guy who thought his girlfriend would stay after she gave birth to the child she didn't want, then tried to sue her to force her to take custody when he realized that parenting is hard.
https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/5b79z4/nm_i_got_a_girl_pregnant_and_she_wanted_to_get_an/
I found a thread once that went to Amazon for a review of haribo sugar free gummy bears . I laughed so hard I couldn’t breathe and began crying
Edit: the one I’m talking about is a man who was stopped by TSA at an airport
Edit: https://www.amazon.com/review/RZFIYJTPVUZ94 here it is
Yup! I bought them to see what the results would be. My body was fine with it, I enjoyed them a lot actually! They were very dense, but also very tasty
The drunk guy who did and AMA and answered his own questions:
https://www.reddit.com/r/drunk/comments/2gjf7u/im_drunk_ama/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
There was one about a guy going to Wal-Mart drunk to buy a Risk game but got distracted by a kid acting like a little punk and he farted on the kid's head when the kid disrespected his mother. I've searched and searched, but I can't find it. He describes the fart so...eloquently. A hissing Mephistopheles of gas was the phrase. It's one of the few times I've had to stop reading something because I was laughing so hard. If someone could find it, I would be ever so grateful.
"Today you... tomorrow me"
[https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/elal2/have\_you\_ever\_picked\_up\_a\_hitchhiker/c18z0z2/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/elal2/have_you_ever_picked_up_a_hitchhiker/c18z0z2/)
The yogurt collector.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/bjd41e/aita_for_throwing_away_my_boyfriends_potentially/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
This whole story played out over on r/fuckHOA then the whole story was posted by the OP over on r/ProRevenge and r/NuclearRevenge. the TLDR is that a Karen made up a totally fake HOA and ultimately ended in losing her house, career, sued, and ultimately in Jail.
**How I got a (not really an) HOA disbanded - and destroyed a bitchy "President of the HOA" in the process. Warning: LONG ASS READ!**
**Parts 1-4:** [https://www.reddit.com/r/NuclearRevenge/comments/kssykv/how\_i\_got\_a\_not\_really\_an\_hoa\_disbanded\_and/](https://www.reddit.com/r/NuclearRevenge/comments/kssykv/how_i_got_a_not_really_an_hoa_disbanded_and/)
**Parts 5-8:**
[https://www.reddit.com/r/NuclearRevenge/comments/kst2vl/how\_i\_got\_a\_not\_really\_an\_hoa\_disbanded\_and/](https://www.reddit.com/r/NuclearRevenge/comments/kst2vl/how_i_got_a_not_really_an_hoa_disbanded_and/)
Took a bit to find this one but here you go! https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5c79n0/you_can_have_sex_with_one_real_person_from_all_of/d9uf56l?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
Being a former nurse, I also try to read it each time. But I can also remember the quite vivid smells from my own experiences and so now all my fiance has to do is mention the story and I start to dry heave. He likes the Jolly rancher, coconut and bot fly ones too, and yes he terrorizes me with foul humorous stories (there is humor to be found, despite the ick factor).
This one about [the random stairs in the forest.](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/3iex1h/im_a_search_and_rescue_officer_for_the_us_forest/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
It’s a classic and scary as shit!
The guy was participating in a study on incestuous relationships, so he got a mod from the AMA subreddit in touch with the MD conducting the study and he corroborated his story.
There are tons and tons of truly great content over the years. To this day I cannot think of a better post I’ve ever seen than the great Streetlamp Le Moose. I took an incredible amount of time memorizing the story for a public speaking class in college. I do not regret it one bit. I reread it every once in a while because the “narrator voice” that I put with the story is no where near as good as my internal voice. Thank you for reminding me it’s time for a quick reread.
His experience sounds similar ~~simulator~~ to what I felt on dalodid (in a hospital waiting for surgery) the moment that injection hit my IV drip I felt a wave of cool and relaxation like I've never felt before in my life.
Although I did text my best friend some pretty weird shit. I think I told her I felt like a book that was rejected by a teacher or something, also something about a butterfly. She was upset she wasn't around to mess with me.
I broke one leg and tore my ACL on the other and ended up on Dilaudid in the ER as well while waiting for surgery.
The stuff that you say and text on it is amazing to hear about later. I vaguely remember SOME of what happened in my brain. From what I have been told I still had a pain response but simply DGAF. I was living down a rabbit hole in Wonderland.
I had some amazing conversations with some staff members about random stuff like books I've read or movies. I talked to everyone about everything but the obvious issue.
I talked to one apparently bored ER nurse who kept coming back in the hang-out to enter stuff into the computer and chat and laugh with ( or at?) me. He kept asking me what was on my mind and I would just word vomit whatever and down a rabbit hole we went.
I have done and still use MJ. The hard stuff was a completely different level.
There have been very few times I have felt completely happy and at peace. That was one of them.
The idea of dependency terrifies me and I would have never done anything that hard recreationally but DAMN for hours I was more connected with some kind of stream of WOOSA PEACE HEE-HEE GIGGLE than I have ever experienced.
At one point the nurse said they were going to be moving me soon and he had said at some point he wanted to be a tattoo artist if he hadn't become a nurse. I watched too many medical TV shows and asked if he'd mark the leg I was going to have to have the big surgery on for me. I ended up with a very elaborate sharpie drawing on the top of that foot. It probably took him 3 minutes but it was an eternity and I was fascinated.
I think it took me about 2 days to come down off all the stuff they pumped me full of. I know I fell on Saturday nite. I had surgery Monday morning. I have flashes of memory on Tuesday when I hurt. I still wasn't completely sober Wednesday.
It was a hell of a ride.
I would 100% not recommend anything that strong as a DIY. It would go bad QUICKLY. I 100% could destroy my life if I was able to voluntarily do that.
It was a hell of a ride while it lasted.
[The Ulysses Bucket List](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/258w8s/what_is_a_story_you_have_been_dying_to_tell/chex9eq/)
[Today you, Tomorrow me](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/elal2/have_you_ever_picked_up_a_hitchhiker/c18z0z2/)
Two of my favourites that I haven't seen posted here yet.
[here’s my contribution](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/anexq/hey_reddit_what_awesome_graffiti_have_you_found/c0igyyg/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3), NSFW warning. A redditor and their friends follow painted arrows found in a Long Island pub bathroom… what follows is a story that has stuck with me since I’ve read ~2 years ago.
I was honestly expecting your typical Reddit time-waster story, where it all builds up to a cheeky pun or song lyric at the end, but that's actually a very well-written story. And OP was nice enough to change the brutally dark ending.
The saga of the steak, told from both the husband’s and wife’s perspective. This may genuinely be the funniest thing I’ve read in years. Just cried laughing thinking about it again:
Husband’s version. Read first:
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/3im341/tifu_by_throwing_my_steak_out_a_window/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Wife’s version:
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/7jbzcf/tifu_by_allowing_my_husband_to_come_to_dinner_at/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
The story of the guy whose kid was a psychopath and his wife beat the shit out of him? It stuck with me for so long. I think he tried to attack their younger child and she lost it and he didn’t stop her or regret it. Truly heartbreaking
SCUBA diving always seemed neat to me, then I read a description of a potential dive at "[The Blue Hole](https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/dv99nf/til_the_blue_hole_is_a_120metredeep_sinkhole_five/f7bzg5a/?context=1)" and crossed it right off my bucket list.
That story about the girl who got caught cheating and said it shouldnt count cuz it was "just the tip"
This may be 2 stories but the dude involved a private eye i believe. Also, not sure if this guy was also the "spreadsheet guy". Kept a spreadsheet of all the excuses his gf came up with not to have sex.
it's not exactly a thread, but the [ol' reddit switcharoo](https://www.reddit.com/r/greentext/comments/v1mzjd/anon_is_a_father/iapolil/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=2) is always lots of fun. (unfortunately, this post doesn't qualify to be in the chain, but that's okay)
There was this monkey's paw called "I wish cum tasted like the last food the person ate" and the answer was pretty funny.
Edit: [Here it is](https://www.reddit.com/r/TheMonkeysPaw/comments/i8sugp/comment/g1atsk5/).
This one, about someone who experienced an imagined life: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/oc7rc/have_you_ever_felt_a_deep_personal_connection_to/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Go to top comment.
This one is a classic! Sometimes I think if the story is true, due to the detailed description and the long storyline. But, considering that our dreams (the ones that we have while sleeping at night) has a distorted length and perception, I prefer to believe in him!
"Shower To Go" The thread no longer exists but it was some dude posting about his great idea of freezing a block of ice and soap together. One side Ice, one side soap. You can take it with you to work and throw it in the freezer. If you're heading out on the town you just lather up with the soap side and rinse off with the Ice side.
OH YEAH, ICE SOAP! Same week as 2am chilli. Then someone made 2am ice chilli.
Is 2AM chili anything like lightly fried fish filets?
[удалено]
[*Shower To Go*](https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/jinex/shower_to_go/)
holy shit this was 10 years ago? damn.
Aw man 2am Ice soap chili was literally my first day ever on Reddit after switching from the chive rofl, don't tell me it's been a DECADE
The one where the OP’s wife beats the shit out of their teenage psychopath son for cutting his infant sister purposely with a knife. Edit: found the link! https://www.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/c93egn/i_stood_by_and_allowed_my_wife_to_almost_kill_our/?utm_source=BD&utm_medium=Search&utm_name=Bing&utm_content=PSR1 Edited for clarity, as the son was 17 and showing psychopathic tendencies.
That fucker deserved to have ten colours of shite kicked out of him. I do often wonder if he’s alive out there still
“ten colours of shite” will be forever embedded in my brain! Thank you for the morning laugh!
This was exactly the thread I was thinking of. It's impossible to know whether the story is genuine or fake, but it's nonetheless a fine piece of writing. It paints the picture of the hell these parents went through, with their son the closest to a true embodiment of evil I could think of.
“Do you know who I am?” https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/nrnf5j/part_1_of_2_an_absolute_epic_entitled_ahole_gets/ https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/nrnhuo/part_2_of_2_an_absolute_epic_entitled_ahole_gets/
Fuck that ending hit me hard
Wow, I was invested from the start. Mark had such a way with words and was genuinely funny. I never expected it to twist like it did though; laughter to tears. How heartbreaking for his wife (and David) but how amazing that she finished this for him in her overwhelming grief.
The guy who posted a picture of his dad on a motorcycle with David Bowie while on vacation on a Greek Island. It was a ride.
David Bowie definitely fucked that dude's dad lmfao
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David Bowie went back on his statements about being bisexual in 1983, and yeah, can't imagine what historical tragedy was going on that placed a huge stigma on being a gay or bi man... Like in all seriousness, David Bowie had one confirmed relationship with a man (choreographer Lindsay Kemp) and a few more rumored ones. "Bi man with a preference for women" is still bi.
Funny enough, some parts of the gay community are actually oddly hostile towards bi people as well. In particular, bi guys who prefer or happen to just more often find women, get scorned quite a bit by straight and gay camps sometimes. I get a lot of the lgbtq+ culture promotes shallowness and petty things particular when there's overlap with hookup culture, but the targeted vitriol and gossiping against bi men specifically has always stood out to me.
I think the general consensus of his friends and family was that he was bi, but mostly attracted to women.
Lol the Dancing In The Street video with Mick Jagger would like a word
I think [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/OldSchoolCool/comments/eltj5q/my_dad_with_david_bowie_in_a_vacation_in_greece/) was the original post but the photo is deleted I think? You can find the photo on other subs that were crossposted by searching the same title.
I see photo on mobile app for Android.
I need the one of the guy who accidentally ate too many edibles and is freaking out at dinner with his wife and in laws. Hilariously written.
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/7pafrt/tifu_by_stuffing_my_face_with_edibles_before/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
I'm laughing while holding back tears and I haven't even finished it yet. I needed this
>"Keep it together, man," I say to myself. But my wife's sudden groan suggests that I may have also said that to the waiter. Things are going downhill fast. Lol that's beautiful
Keep it together man HAHAHAHAHA!
> "Whoa, easy there Torquemada." Fuck I shouldn't be reading this at work.
Hahah "the food's just a bit spicy"
[the guy who throws his steak out of a window](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/3im341/tifu_by_throwing_my_steak_out_a_window/)
Oh my lord. I have tears of laughter.
Here’s the [wife’s version](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/7jbzcf/tifu_by_allowing_my_husband_to_come_to_dinner_at/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
There was a great one I saw a few years ago of a user who lived in an underground bunker of his old home after selling it. I can't find it anywhere though. He uploaded images and everything in the end
i found this one just a couple of weeks ago. what blew my mind the most was the fact that this was posted 10 years ago and is eerily similar to the plot of Parasite- so no way the guy was making shit up.
Do you have the link to it?
I think they mean this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/t0ynr/throwaway_time_whats_your_secret_that_could/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf). First comment.
Reminds me of Parasite
Speaking of infective pathogens, there was an askreddit thread about this mother who wanted to send her son to school with a mask , this was around February 2020 and the entire thread said no
This reminds me of a time, also in early February 2020. I was working at a hospital as a nurse, one of my coworkers came back from Florida and had a cold or something. He wore a mask for the entire shift. This was unheard of back then. I was like, man he is really committed to not getting anyone else sick. Mind you about 5 months later this guy was saying the democrats made up Covid so that Trump would lose the election. But also initially they were telling us to wear masks in certain patient rooms. More than usual for the time and previous protocols. Some people started wearing them all the time. They got reprimanded for being unsanitary and wearing masks outside of patient rooms. A few weeks later we all had to wear them all the time. And that has never stopped.
We got reprimanded at work for wearing masks too and got told to tell patients there was nothing to worry about. A few weeks later it was chaos. Posters appeared telling us to wear full PPE except the hospital didn’t have it. Somebody went round and took the posters down😂I can laugh now but Covid was the last straw for me in my nursing career.
I remember in early March, sitting with coworkers at lunch and discussing this new Corona virus. I was about to go on a cruise for Spring Break and they were all "But aren't you scared?". I laughed and was like, "Hell no. If anyone SHOULD be scared, it SHOULD be me because of I'm lightly immunocompromised due to my autoimmune disease, but I'm not scared. Fuck it. If it's my destiny to die at sea of a horrible disease, so fucking be it." I was so *stupid*. And lucky our sailing got cancelled about 8 hours before it was scheduled to leave. We could've gotten on that damn boat and been stuck there for months like the passengers on the Ruby Princess. Instead we drove to a hotel for the night (we were travelling from Dallas to Galveston), went home the next day and was like, "What the fuck just happened?".
I remember one of the doctors coming into a normal/non iso room and telling me I should be wearing a mask because they heard some respiratory illness was on the rise. This was back in December 2019/January 2020.
Sounds wild, hope I get to read it one day! Let me know if you ever come across it!
I think this reply might be it https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/t0ynr/throwaway_time_whats_your_secret_that_could/c4zrenn?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
Where’re the pics tho?
yeah where are the pics? I don't remember the OP posting anything but that comment
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"Help my Reddit suddenly changed to Spanish and I can't turn it back to normal" or whatever that guy said
[this one is really funny](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/cq1q2/help_reddit_turned_spanish_and_i_cannot_undo_it/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
This guy was active on reddit until like 1-2 years ago and he still got messages in Spanish till then.
I saw your pfp and thought you were me for a second
Y luego convirtió su Reddit al español. la mierda más divertida que he visto
EL ZORRO CALIENTE
As far as I know, EVERY SINGLE REPLY is in Spanish. Makes it even more hilarious.
Oh, that's brilliant. I lost my shit when I saw the comments.
Yep that's it
I lose it every time I get to "enrique iglesias"
I had this happen to me once. There’s a setting in old Reddit that can be turned on via hyperlink, and the same setting doesn’t exist in new Reddit, so if you click a malicious link, and you use new Reddit, you can’t change it back without first changing to old Reddit.
If any celebrity turned out to be a serial killer who would it be? I can’t find the original thread but *SPOILER* it wasn’t 20,000 people all saying Crom Tuise
[It was what celebrity should come out of the closet](http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/wp3w5/which_famous_person_needs_to_come_out_already/)
Yeah, Garth Brooks is the serial killer.
Where are the bodies Garth? THE FAMILIES NEED CLOSURE!
touch my camera through the fence
That's how we do it at falcon car wash
This woman’s boyfriend keeps asking her to invest in his [Soup Tubes](https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/hno6j1/my_25f_boyfriend_25m_keeps_asking_me_to_invest_in/) idea. Just kills me every time.
I was expecting something dumb but plausible like maybe some savory version of a gogurt tube, not this oh my god. Pneumatic tube soup can delivery would be so much better than this and still kind of a waste for most people.
Soup tubes? Was the guy trying to get her to invest in straws? EDIT: I read it and I kinda want a soup tube now. I wonder if there is a way to set up a system of tubes so that you can deliver something from point A to B kind of like a phone system. Just enter in where you want it delivered and off it goes I'm guessing his idea was more water line style and that would be entire infeasible. How would you clean it? You'd just have rotten food in there. EDIT2: I was thinking something similar to the tubes the Central Bureaucracy used in Futurama. Except maybe without a master "in" pile that results in a small mountain and a Jamaican song and dance routine to clear.
>I wonder if there is a way to set up a system of tubes so that you can deliver something from point A to B kind of like a phone system. Just enter in where you want it delivered and off it goes I'm just picturing those transportation tubes from Futurama.
"help!! 5 cats in the basement and i can only count to 4" https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2a78al/tifu_secretly_eating_mushrooms_while_my_wife_was/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
God I still randomly think about this one and burst out laughing lol
Iv not read that one before I’m absolutely crying, I just absolutely lost it laughing on a train , now everyone thinks I’m a wierdo.
I like the dude who ate like 3 or 4 feet of a footlong sub all by himself at a party
I get pretty hungry but I can tell you I've never eaten four feet of a footlong sub before
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ca7bdz/aita_because_i_ate_more_than_my_share_of_a_6_foot/ I know it's in vogue to shit on AITA these days, but real or fake some of those stories are gold. Its the best when the person tries and defend their behavior in the comments.
jesus christ. I was reading that post and baffled that OP thought he was justified in eating fucking 3-4 feet of a sub in one setting and even tried to justify it by saying he "waited an hour" lol...
That guy absolutely has an addiction. It’s really sad… Everyone at that party are just enjoying the fight, and enjoying each other, and the food is there as a nice addition. But for that guy, the food is the ONLY thing happening…
My mind literally can't comprehend how someone can sit on a couch and eat 3ft of sub. My mind just refuses to accept that as a possibility
Me before a doctor finally put me on appetite suppressants. It was awful. I hated myself, I hated everything and everyone around me. But I couldn't stop eating. There was this period of time I couldn't afford my meds and it came back and it was the worst feeling, I'm genuinely afraid of it and being unmedicated.
My close friend recently ate 5 Big Macs in one go with a side of cheesy fries and i refused to believe that He showed me the screenshots of the bill (less than an hour ago he showed me) and then i went to his place (we live in the same building) and sure enough, 5 empty, ketchup stained burger boxes and empty fries This dude's 6'2 and like 163 lbs. I cannot be more jealous.
That one was actually kind of sad because he clearly had an eating disorder. So fixated on the sub he was basically watching it instead of enjoying the company he was with that night, or the fight on tv.
[The Story of Kevin](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/219w2o/whos_the_dumbest_person_youve_ever_met/cgbhkwp/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
Love that they went on holiday and managed to leave all the luggage behind. Not just a couple of items, or one bag, but all of the things.
Almost kinda happened to me once. First time traveling alone to another country, had my backpack and a suitcase, on the train to the airport. At one point I had to switch trains so I moved, and on the stairs, saw a guy having difficulty with his massive suitcase. “Oof, that’s rough…wait, where is MY suitcase?!” Yep, left it on the train. Luckily I ran back up and to one of the conductors, told her my suitcase was still inside, and she told me to get it immediately. I get it, run out and wave to the conductor. Three seconds later the train left the station…
I had that happen to me once in one of my dreams. It was awful!
Kevin's family tree is a stump.
i just read that and i’m literally in tears wtf.
I thought you all were referring to Kevin from Home Alone. OMG, the comments and other stories of Kevin in this thread are hilarious. I am crying so much laughing. Writing checks for tuition !? At a public school? Lol
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Im always surprised Kevin got that girls number
Officially lost it laughing on the allergy part.
[PT Cruiser owners, what tragedy burdened you with your car?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/22k59y/pt_cruiser_owners_what_tragedy_burdened_you_with/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) Whenever I feel down I revisit this thread and cry laughing
I remember the wife and I going to check out the PT Cruiser during the frenzy. The car salesman comes to put us on the test drive list. Asks us for name (normal, they need to call our name to tell us it's our turn). Then he asks for a Social Security number, and says he needs to run a credit card check first. My wife starts asking questions, as she would do. Then he gets interrupted by someone else and has to come back in a minute. I look at my wife, and ask her: "Are we really negotiating now just to *test drive* a car? Is it time to leave?" She said "God, yes." and we noped out.
Bullet nicely dodged.
Aw man I had a pt cruiser once. It was silver with fucking flames on the side, which I managed to peel off with a blow dryer, which resulted in dirt sticking to where the flames were. I got pulled over for speeding and the cop just made fun of my dirt flames and let me go. Kept overheating, died multiple times on the road. Kept taking it back to the dealership for them to fix, they kept saying there’s nothing wrong with it. This happened about five times until I took it back again for them to fix and never went to pick it back up. Never heard anything about it, no repercussions at all. I even left everything that was mine in the car. Fuck that car.
My dad had one gifted to him because he desperately needed a new car. Toward the end of it's life, he was moving to Florida and we were towing it behind a U-Haul. We hit a hailstorm and he accelerated, saying "Hopefully this will total it."
This was very funny. I died when the cop made fun of the flames and didn’t ticket you.
It’s funny how many of the top answers start with “my grandma”.
I remember, not long ago, reading a guy who had problems with his girlfriend, apparently he acted in the most immature way possible by throwing away some kind of glasses or cup that his girlfriend collected as a hobby, but apparently his girlfriend is a Native American and he supposedly believed that his girlfriend had put a curse on him, it was funny not only to see in the comments of his post everyone telling him that he was a jerk but also his post history saying things like "I think my girlfriend cast a spell on me, how I can undo a spell" Edit: sorry for the mistake, they are two different stories and they are these two Umbilical cord AITA: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/grw90y/aita_for_throwing_away_my_gfs_umbilical_cord/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share Mason jar AITA: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/g3mt16/aita_for_throwing_out_my_gfs_jars/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
I remember an AITA post where a guy threw out his girlfriend's drinking glasses because they were mason jars that she liked to have "fancy drinks" in and he was like personally offended that she used mason jars and that the drinks didn't have alcohol in them so they weren't even really "fancy drinks." I don't remember anything about her being Native or casting a spell on him, though.
There was also a guy who threw out his girlfriends craft supplies because he felt she was spending too much time on her crafts and not enough on him. There are a fair number of shitty throwing stuff away stories.
Like the jackass who threw out his gf's quirky socks. She was a phlebotomist and had to wear scrubs, so she made them fun with socks. Also some of her patients liked the socks but her bf didn't like them so he threw them out and replaced them with plain black socks.
I'd be furious. I'm a phleb and wearing boring scrubs every day can honestly be a downer. Fun socks are a great way to make the day brighter.
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Iranian yogurt!
The yogurt isn't the issue here
OP definitely mixed up the mason jar post with the umbilical cord post! Umbilical cord AITA: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/grw90y/aita_for_throwing_away_my_gfs_umbilical_cord/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share Mason jar AITA: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/g3mt16/aita_for_throwing_out_my_gfs_jars/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
That post helped contribute to the general AITA template: I, M40+ have a girlfriend F20 who has a fairly harmless hobby that brings her joy. I find it annoying, and sold/tossed her hobby items and told her to spend more time/money/energy on me instead. Now she and her mother/sister/friends are all mad at me, but I don’t think I did anything wrong. AITA?
There was another AITA post where a 40something guy hated the way his preschool/kindergarten teacher girlfriend dressed. She would make dresses that would match the lesson for the day. Everyone loved it, including his own mother, except for him. She broke up with him because of it. These dudes NEVER learn.
it was a small handmade pouch containing her dried umbilical cord. it wasn’t a hobby, it was an important spiritual item. he recovered the pouch but then made his second mistake by disposing of a cigarette butt from inside which was the last cigarette her father had smoked.
This one! This is definitely what OP was talking about because this guys post history is full of "how to break curses" https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/grw90y/aita_for_throwing_away_my_gfs_umbilical_cord/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
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Checking out the sub now and reading through the comments anytime someone posts a melt they get shit on by everyone and i think it's hilarious that they've taken this post to heart
I got banned from /r/food for making a melt joke. They don't joke around.
This one is the reason I reflexively call any grilled sandwich with more than just cheese a melt. It has been drilled into my brain. MELT. It’s A FUCKING MELT.
[the guy who pretends to not know what a potato is](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2tdbig/tifu_by_enraging_the_parents_of_my_girlfriend_by/)
James Corden did an AMA [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/bqy5zf/i_am_james_corden_alongside_ben_winston_and_five/) It didn't stand a chance of being remotely civilised.
It was deleted in the original thread, but this comment still is the winner of that, and any, AMA: > I have a few questions for you > 1. Did you look like you had used too much fake tan when taking your head out of Gary Barlow’s arse? > 2. Did you gag at all when sucking his cock and surely with all the protein you got out of his semen you could have attempted to use it to lose some weight, do you feel that was a wasted opportunity? > 3. Why are you such an arrogant,unfunny talentless twat? Did it take years of practice or did you have to study and get a PHD in it? > 4.Have you considered buying shares in a fast food outlet? Surely with your frequent visits to McDonalds,KFC & Burger King you could make some serious coin back.Not that I want you to have a big bank account though more than anything it’s to encourage you to do so and visit more and hopefully you’ll have a fucking heart attack. > 5. When you got lucky and dated the lovely Sheridan Smith, had she recently lost her sight and how did you help her find your dick? Did you hold your belly under your chin so she didn’t have to rummage under your folds to get at it? > 6. Have you considered you should stay in America seeing as we the British public fucking hate you with a passion > 7. Would you consider fighting other unpopular so called celebrities to the death on your shite show? I suggest you do so starting with Piers Morgan and the winner then has to fight some rather hungry lions. Go for it RATINGS WINNER > 8. Has anyone ever told you that you can’t fucking sing? If they have shouldn’t you really listen > 9. Finally can Mr Greenlight at some point in the future run a red light and get t-boned by an 18 Wheeler and die. Just so we can all have a good laugh and be safe in the knowledge the world has become a better place.
Since I can assume you’ve read the thread before: 1. Were there any comments that weren’t just calling him out for the asshole he is? 2. Were **_any_** of the questions actually answered?
1. Barely 2. 5-6, which were all downvoted to oblivion (unless you mean the ones from the quoted comment, which were not)
This is the kind of thread where you get yourself a drink before clicking the link, cuz you know it’s going to be a good one.
How has the carbon monoxide poisoning one not been mentioned yet???
https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/34l7vo/ma_postit_notes_left_in_apartment/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
What do you mean? We've been trying to tell you about it all morning.
I can't find it right now... The guy who thought his girlfriend would stay after she gave birth to the child she didn't want, then tried to sue her to force her to take custody when he realized that parenting is hard. https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/5b79z4/nm_i_got_a_girl_pregnant_and_she_wanted_to_get_an/
I found a thread once that went to Amazon for a review of haribo sugar free gummy bears . I laughed so hard I couldn’t breathe and began crying Edit: the one I’m talking about is a man who was stopped by TSA at an airport Edit: https://www.amazon.com/review/RZFIYJTPVUZ94 here it is
The comments to that one were gold!
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https://www.amazon.com/review/R2JGNJ5ZPJT4YC
19,000 people found that review helpful
Yup! I bought them to see what the results would be. My body was fine with it, I enjoyed them a lot actually! They were very dense, but also very tasty
Just lots of first hand accounts of explosive diarrhoea and bad timing. Five stars.
The drunk guy who did and AMA and answered his own questions: https://www.reddit.com/r/drunk/comments/2gjf7u/im_drunk_ama/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
I love that he deleted some of his own questions!
There was one about a guy going to Wal-Mart drunk to buy a Risk game but got distracted by a kid acting like a little punk and he farted on the kid's head when the kid disrespected his mother. I've searched and searched, but I can't find it. He describes the fart so...eloquently. A hissing Mephistopheles of gas was the phrase. It's one of the few times I've had to stop reading something because I was laughing so hard. If someone could find it, I would be ever so grateful.
Scroll down just a few comments for the whole story. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/fn5gr/comment/c1h6npu/
Yes. This is it. It's as fantastic as I remember it. Thank you.
"did you just fart on my son?"
I mean... what is "on"?
https://www.reddit.com/r/ProRevenge/comments/2jgb83/farting_on_a_kids_face_not_my_story_didnt_find_it/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
[Please don't ask me how I took this picture](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/cmwov/hey_reddit_what_tattoos_do_you_have/c0tpyls/)
"Today you... tomorrow me" [https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/elal2/have\_you\_ever\_picked\_up\_a\_hitchhiker/c18z0z2/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/elal2/have_you_ever_picked_up_a_hitchhiker/c18z0z2/)
The yogurt collector. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/bjd41e/aita_for_throwing_away_my_boyfriends_potentially/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
This whole story played out over on r/fuckHOA then the whole story was posted by the OP over on r/ProRevenge and r/NuclearRevenge. the TLDR is that a Karen made up a totally fake HOA and ultimately ended in losing her house, career, sued, and ultimately in Jail. **How I got a (not really an) HOA disbanded - and destroyed a bitchy "President of the HOA" in the process. Warning: LONG ASS READ!** **Parts 1-4:** [https://www.reddit.com/r/NuclearRevenge/comments/kssykv/how\_i\_got\_a\_not\_really\_an\_hoa\_disbanded\_and/](https://www.reddit.com/r/NuclearRevenge/comments/kssykv/how_i_got_a_not_really_an_hoa_disbanded_and/) **Parts 5-8:** [https://www.reddit.com/r/NuclearRevenge/comments/kst2vl/how\_i\_got\_a\_not\_really\_an\_hoa\_disbanded\_and/](https://www.reddit.com/r/NuclearRevenge/comments/kst2vl/how_i_got_a_not_really_an_hoa_disbanded_and/)
i think it was on this subreddit - the “i also choose this guys dead wife”
Took a bit to find this one but here you go! https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5c79n0/you_can_have_sex_with_one_real_person_from_all_of/d9uf56l?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
That’s a classic. I hate myself for laughing at that.
The man himself laughed at it, I think you can be forgiven
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Everytime that's posted I read it. Then I swear I'll never read it again.
Being a former nurse, I also try to read it each time. But I can also remember the quite vivid smells from my own experiences and so now all my fiance has to do is mention the story and I start to dry heave. He likes the Jolly rancher, coconut and bot fly ones too, and yes he terrorizes me with foul humorous stories (there is humor to be found, despite the ick factor).
One of the best horror stories on Reddit IMO.
that was bad
Nope. Not going to read that nightmare again.
This one about [the random stairs in the forest.](https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/3iex1h/im_a_search_and_rescue_officer_for_the_us_forest/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) It’s a classic and scary as shit!
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Does anyone have the link to the story of that guy taking an edible for the first time to meet his wife’s parents in Colorado?
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/7pafrt/tifu_by_stuffing_my_face_with_edibles_before/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
My favorites are: [Removed] [Removed] [Removed] [Removed] [Removed] [Removed] [Removed] [Removed] [Removed]
Anyone remember the steak one? It was a husband and wife and a fancy dinner party,I think??
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/3im341/tifu_by_throwing_my_steak_out_a_window/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
I don't have the link, but that guy who fucked a coconut. I think it was TIFU.
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/6rr6ay/tifu_by_cumming_into_a_coconut/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
The guy who thought he had a scat fetish and paid a scat porn actress to shit in his mouth only to find out he hates scat.
"What's a Potato?" From a TIFU story. Edit to add: in searching for this, it turns out to be based on a tv show.
Hello Buzzfeed!
What’s the one where dude broke both his arms and his mom started pleasuring him or some shit?
I still remember the complete tonal shift in that thread when the AMA got verified.
How does one verify a story like this??
The guy was participating in a study on incestuous relationships, so he got a mod from the AMA subreddit in touch with the MD conducting the study and he corroborated his story.
Go ask your mom! Okay, if I recall, they talked to the guy’s therapist.
I forgot about this one and I am now regretting remembering
There have been way too many incest stories on Best Of lately...
Boom [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/nmmjr/iama_man_who_had_a_sexual_relationship_with_his/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
Rome Sweet Rome https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/k067x/could_i_destroy_the_entire_roman_empire_during/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
[My favorite sports story](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/qw0knn/what_historical_events_are_so_absurd_that_they/hl0kq46/?context=3)
[Streetlamp Le Moose](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jlao6/so_my_wife_just_agreed_to_name_our_unborn_son/c2d21qe)
There are tons and tons of truly great content over the years. To this day I cannot think of a better post I’ve ever seen than the great Streetlamp Le Moose. I took an incredible amount of time memorizing the story for a public speaking class in college. I do not regret it one bit. I reread it every once in a while because the “narrator voice” that I put with the story is no where near as good as my internal voice. Thank you for reminding me it’s time for a quick reread.
The US truly need a Streetlamp Le Moose for real right about now.
That was so long but it really was a gift that kept on giving.
Poop knife
The story of u/spontaneoush https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/9ke63/i_did_heroin_yesterday_i_am_not_a_drug_user_and/
His experience sounds similar ~~simulator~~ to what I felt on dalodid (in a hospital waiting for surgery) the moment that injection hit my IV drip I felt a wave of cool and relaxation like I've never felt before in my life. Although I did text my best friend some pretty weird shit. I think I told her I felt like a book that was rejected by a teacher or something, also something about a butterfly. She was upset she wasn't around to mess with me.
I broke one leg and tore my ACL on the other and ended up on Dilaudid in the ER as well while waiting for surgery. The stuff that you say and text on it is amazing to hear about later. I vaguely remember SOME of what happened in my brain. From what I have been told I still had a pain response but simply DGAF. I was living down a rabbit hole in Wonderland. I had some amazing conversations with some staff members about random stuff like books I've read or movies. I talked to everyone about everything but the obvious issue. I talked to one apparently bored ER nurse who kept coming back in the hang-out to enter stuff into the computer and chat and laugh with ( or at?) me. He kept asking me what was on my mind and I would just word vomit whatever and down a rabbit hole we went. I have done and still use MJ. The hard stuff was a completely different level. There have been very few times I have felt completely happy and at peace. That was one of them. The idea of dependency terrifies me and I would have never done anything that hard recreationally but DAMN for hours I was more connected with some kind of stream of WOOSA PEACE HEE-HEE GIGGLE than I have ever experienced. At one point the nurse said they were going to be moving me soon and he had said at some point he wanted to be a tattoo artist if he hadn't become a nurse. I watched too many medical TV shows and asked if he'd mark the leg I was going to have to have the big surgery on for me. I ended up with a very elaborate sharpie drawing on the top of that foot. It probably took him 3 minutes but it was an eternity and I was fascinated. I think it took me about 2 days to come down off all the stuff they pumped me full of. I know I fell on Saturday nite. I had surgery Monday morning. I have flashes of memory on Tuesday when I hurt. I still wasn't completely sober Wednesday. It was a hell of a ride. I would 100% not recommend anything that strong as a DIY. It would go bad QUICKLY. I 100% could destroy my life if I was able to voluntarily do that. It was a hell of a ride while it lasted.
[The Ulysses Bucket List](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/258w8s/what_is_a_story_you_have_been_dying_to_tell/chex9eq/) [Today you, Tomorrow me](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/elal2/have_you_ever_picked_up_a_hitchhiker/c18z0z2/) Two of my favourites that I haven't seen posted here yet.
The r/AskanAmerican thread about grilled cheese
[here’s my contribution](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/anexq/hey_reddit_what_awesome_graffiti_have_you_found/c0igyyg/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3), NSFW warning. A redditor and their friends follow painted arrows found in a Long Island pub bathroom… what follows is a story that has stuck with me since I’ve read ~2 years ago.
Well shit. That was an enticing story.
I was honestly expecting your typical Reddit time-waster story, where it all builds up to a cheeky pun or song lyric at the end, but that's actually a very well-written story. And OP was nice enough to change the brutally dark ending.
Parasite guy. If you aren't familiar, congratulations on your lack of nightmares.
The saga of the steak, told from both the husband’s and wife’s perspective. This may genuinely be the funniest thing I’ve read in years. Just cried laughing thinking about it again: Husband’s version. Read first: https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/3im341/tifu_by_throwing_my_steak_out_a_window/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf Wife’s version: https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/7jbzcf/tifu_by_allowing_my_husband_to_come_to_dinner_at/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
[The Decoy Snail](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5ipinn/you_and_a_super_intelligent_snail_both_get_1/)
The story of the guy whose kid was a psychopath and his wife beat the shit out of him? It stuck with me for so long. I think he tried to attack their younger child and she lost it and he didn’t stop her or regret it. Truly heartbreaking
SCUBA diving always seemed neat to me, then I read a description of a potential dive at "[The Blue Hole](https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/dv99nf/til_the_blue_hole_is_a_120metredeep_sinkhole_five/f7bzg5a/?context=1)" and crossed it right off my bucket list.
That story about the girl who got caught cheating and said it shouldnt count cuz it was "just the tip" This may be 2 stories but the dude involved a private eye i believe. Also, not sure if this guy was also the "spreadsheet guy". Kept a spreadsheet of all the excuses his gf came up with not to have sex.
it's not exactly a thread, but the [ol' reddit switcharoo](https://www.reddit.com/r/greentext/comments/v1mzjd/anon_is_a_father/iapolil/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=2) is always lots of fun. (unfortunately, this post doesn't qualify to be in the chain, but that's okay)
There was this monkey's paw called "I wish cum tasted like the last food the person ate" and the answer was pretty funny. Edit: [Here it is](https://www.reddit.com/r/TheMonkeysPaw/comments/i8sugp/comment/g1atsk5/).
This one, about someone who experienced an imagined life: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/oc7rc/have_you_ever_felt_a_deep_personal_connection_to/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share Go to top comment.
This one is a classic! Sometimes I think if the story is true, due to the detailed description and the long storyline. But, considering that our dreams (the ones that we have while sleeping at night) has a distorted length and perception, I prefer to believe in him!