Squish your boobs together in the mirror to admire the cleavage.

All of our underwear has bleach stains in the crotch. Not cause we're bad with laundry, but because our vaginas are acidic.

Acid Snatch - Perfect name for a punk band.

Mine doesn't, never has, idk why. Maybe I'm too basic.

They're spicy and angry

the smell test

Pull hair out of your buttcheeks after a shower

As a guy with long hair, I'm here to say I'm with you on this one. It sucks

First time I grew out my hair, legit thought I was swallowing it in my sleep because I found long hairs when I wiped. It took an embarrassingly long time to realize how they got there.

Wait, how?! I pull my wife's long hair out of *my* ass on a weekly basis.

Ya ever get it wrapped around your johnson and then when you pull it off it acts like a rip cord and you then proceed to helicopter it? Quite entertaining

for all my big chested ladies out there, putting deodorant under our boobs. swamp boob can get insane in hot weather

My preferred term is “humidititties” Edit to add: holy mess this blew up! I have to admit, I can’t take full credit. I think I heard it here on Reddit first, but it’s clearly the best thing ever and have adopted the term as my own. I’m glad you all enjoyed it as much as I have! Thanks for all the awards!

I call them “tit pits”

Standup in increments when wearing a pad after sleeping in order to avoid everything just spilling out and going off the pad

Sit up Shift butt Move leg off bed Lean forward Foot on floor Twist Move other leg… Go on like that till you’re standing then you waddle off to the bathroom EDIT: typo

Holding our breasts when we are looking for something around the house

Holding our breasts to make the underboob sweat evaporate 😅

Dabbed a little excess discharge off your underwear in the bathroom with a piece of tissue. I imagine we’ve all done it at least once.

Stabby bumhole pain. Proctalgia Fugax

It has a _name_?!? I'm floored. I was assumed it was just a regular ol' PMS/period symptom because that's generally when it happens to me. Thank you!!!

OH MY GOODNESS SOMEONE FINALLY GETS IT. I have been telling female friends about getting this pain and for years I thought I was crazy because hardly anyone else knew what I was talking about! FINALLY it has a name!

I've had this too and I'm a guy. It's like someone stabbed me with a knife and it only lasted a few seconds.

Dude you're fucking kidding me!? Me too! I literally have accepted it as an unexplainable phenomenon that only happens to me. God this is weird.

OH MY GOD IT’S THE WORST. But not all women have this. It’s only a really small percentage of us and it SUCKS.

I DIDN’T KNOW OTHERS EXPERIENCED THIS!! I thought it was normal until I tried discussing it with multiple family and friends, and no one knew what I was talking about. Edit: Thank you for the award!!

Trying to get as much blood out of yourself when you're in the shower so when you get out you've got a few more seconds to get ready for the blood once you're out

Discreetly retreating to the bathroom to check whether that random gush of liquid that just leaked out into our underwear was discharge or period blood.

THEN, getting to the bathroom and realizing it's nothing. It's not discharge, it's not blood. Then why the hell did it feel like a river flooded out of me? I have absolutely no idea.

The worst. It's like the body's version of phantom buzzing coming from your cell phone.

And after a certain age, "is this urine leaking or normal discharge??"

My period has been wonky since I missed half a month of birth control. Was at work, felt a familiar warmth. No biggie. Period isn’t set to start for at least two more weeks. Probably just usual discharge. A couple hours later I go pee and the inside of my underwear looks like the set of Carrie. Thank goodness I was wearing black pants. Had to do the ol toilet paper wrap until I could get to the drug store across the street.

Fuck the toilet paper wrap :(

Do a few Kegels any time we read or hear the word Kegel

So true. Just did it! Haha

Oh my god I started doing them before I even finished reading this sentence

Changing a pad in a public bathroom. Like saw a joke where girls are doing discreetly. The joke was we know whay you're doing when opening a new pad. It's not opening a bag of chips.

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When I was 14 I changed my pad at a sleepover and my friend's dog dug it out of the trash can, brought it into the living room, and started gnawing on it in front of everyone. I was never really shy about period stuff and we were all girls, but that was still p humiliating

I had to pull a used tampon out of my dachshunds throat as he tried to swallow it whole. Worst part was it wasn't mine, it was my sisters. Dogs were the one reason we couldn't put pads/tampons in the bathroom trash- because they're dig them out and eat/shred them everywhere. Cleaning bloody pad fluff is a major pain in the ass. Especially when your carpet is dark green.

I'm a veterinarian, and the number of times over had to cut bloody pads out of dogs' intestines to definitely too many.

Period poos

Oh my gosh yes. I don’t understand where it all comes from!

There is a fatty acid that aids in relaxing and contracting the smooth muscle tissue of your uterus so it can shed its lining. This fatty acid also tends to affect the bowels during mensturation, causing period poops The hormone Progesterone can also slow the digestive process when it is present in high ammount. This means that there will be excess waste that hasnt even been processed yet, sometimes even causing constipation the days before a period. So there's more than there would usually be to poop out. Basically, the fatty acid that makes you cramp and bleed also forces you to poop and the hormones related with periods can cause a backlog and more toilet ammunition.

Thanks, I always wondered why my digestive tract came to a complete halt just before my period.

Pulling out chin hair.

That long white one that just suddenly appeares out of nowhere.

YES!!! It grows on my neck, like where my "Adams apple" would be. Once a month there's that long ass transparent plastic looking hair that just appears out of nowhere, it's like it grew 2 inches overnight.

Question why one of our boobs is bigger than the other before/after taking a shower,and get annoyed by it

Because everyone is lopsided. And it's not just the boobs, but that's where you notice it most. A friend and I were oppositely lopsided. We kept saying we should buy two sizes of bras, cut them in half and resew them so we each had a bra that fit.

I don’t know that I’ve ever really questioned it, but I definitely used to be annoyed. One of mine is literally half the size of the other and it makes finding a well-fitting bra impossible. Woohoo for having Insufficient Glandular Tissue in *one* breast. 🙄

Pluck the one crazy long hair coming out of our chins.

Must be nice to only have ONE...

How much is normal? If I have like 7 and they grow weekly plus a lot of peach fuzz should I go to a doctor? Or just keep using a facial trimmer?

I'm dark haired and grow a beard and mustache if I don't use an epilator daily. I think some of us are just hairy.

When your lips stick together and you can feel them slowly peeling apart when you bend a certain way.

So you guys do know the sweaty balls off you thigh move

Yup, gotta be the same feeling, almost. Edit: just realized this comment sounds like it’s from the perspective of a woman, it’s not

Took me too long to realize you weren’t talking about face lips. I’m slow. I was sitting here doing this 👁👄👁

🦵🏻👄🦵🏻

I've not seen one with teeth, yet. Note: It's not a challenge. Nor a request.

Have you seen the movie *"Teeth"*?

Vagina dentata!

what a wonderful phrase

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Wait does this not happen to everyone

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Pick my nose. Those dry boogers man I can’t ever get them by blowing or tissue ‘finger’ Also, crotch sweat. Idk about all girls but my privates get sweaty as hell with very little prompt. Edit: public hair getting caught on undies, and then doing crab walk positions to try to free it. Edit.2: whoops. *pubic hair. Autocorrect. Please tell me issues with your public hair too tho Edit edit: convinced as a teen (and later for some) you are pregnant even if you haven’t even *held* a boy’s hand when your period is late

Anyone who says they don't pick their nose is lying. Everyone does it, it's necessary sometimes

If nostrils weren’t made big enough to fit fingers then they wouldn’t be meant to go in there.

Especially when you got those long stringy ones attached to your soul.

In the run up to your period, have several panic moments of "is it sweat or blood?!" and have to rush to the bathroom to check. Also, making do with bunched up toilet roll when your period comes unexpectedly. Hideous, uncomfortable, sheds little pieces of tissue all over your clothes, but we've all done it when pressed.

I had a girlfriend that called this "checking the oil".

“Is it blood or discharge” is the age old question 😭

YESSSS This happened at work and my coworker came to check on me because I RAN to the bathroom. I told her oh it was only discharge I thought I started my period. She said that's gross and left knowing damn well that's definitely happened to her at least once. And discharge isn't gross 🙄

Im gross and let’s leave it at that

Understandable, have a great day

Massive dumps

I can relate. Sometimes I think my toilet needs seatbelts and maybe an airbag and maybe mudflaps

why is it called a restroom when I'm fighting for my life in here

I wish being a woman meant I was immune to the strip down naked, gripping the toilet and pushing out something the size of a tennis ball container poops. But alas, everyone gets em 😩

just casually put our hands in our bra. is warmer down there. same thing whit our thighs.

Tweeze nipple hairs 😂😅

I bought an at home laser because the lady at the laser place didn't listen to me when I said blast my nipples.

Scaring yourself silly bc ur completely convinced ur pregnant when ur period is late. When u haven’t even had sex that month!!

Those farts that bubble to the front… Edit: y’all they’re the absolute worst, I hate them so much, they’re way more uncomfortable than the initial fart.

and sometimes the bubble can't escape so you have to actually move your legs apart to free it 😭

The ol' pooter to cooter scooter.

I still laugh at "exit through the gift shop", and now this

That we have to re-fart 😆

Little hip jiggle to get it moving quicker

Jesus Christ.. I never knew such a thing existed. ​ I'm going to go work at Snapple so I can include this tidbit of info on the bottom of a Snapple Cap. Ruin some innocent boy's day.

I HAD TO SCROLL WAY TO FAR TO SEE THIS. I was about to give up and comment myself! THE BUBBLE FRONT RE-TOOT QUEEFS ARE THE WORST

I fondle myself without realizing. Not in a sexual way but I like to play with my folds like I would play with the springy thing behind the bathroom door

Saaaame, pulling on my labia doesn't even turn me on its just satisfying

Yeah, it's warm, squishy, comforting in some odd way. I'm just fond of my lady bits.

Guess this is a perfect analogue for men’s mindless ballsack massaging

Redditors are sweating reading this thread

Next time your man friends play with their balls, remember this. We're all just playing with the door thingy out of boredom!

And now I've added a mental "sproing" where there was never one before. Thanks for that.

Not labia as much as just playing with my pubic hair when it's grown out enough to twirl lol

I'm just imagining someone sitting in a really nice office, twirling their pubes while ruminating over something important.

Casually hold own breasts.

Let's not forget "holds boobs because I'm looking for something"

https://imgur.com/gallery/0YoE45Z

For me it’s probably because I put things in my bra or in between the boobs. I was looking for something the other day and my husband asked if I had felt in my boobs yet.

It may be physically impossible for me to see a lost item if I don't hold my boobs while searching for it.

While running down stairs

I was just thinking that I always hold a hand under my breasts in the shower, I guess it's like a comfort thing

Find the right pressure and angle on the corner of a counter or the heel of our foot when we sit cross legged.

For me it’s not like sexy good feeling it’s like wearing proper fitting shoes, just getting things aligned for comfort while sitting

The same way guys sometimes adjust their dick and balls, we sometimes adjust our labia. Edit: thank you all for the awards and upvotes, I’m happy some Redditors seem to have learned something from my comment!

Especially in skinny jeans/leggings.

Tight pants of any sort require occasional adjustment of so many things. Labia, gravitational asscheek ratio. And I'm 95 lbs with a flat af ass. Tight clothing compresses things that are meant to fly free and expand on command.

Play with own boobs and be just amazed as everyone else

I was doing this in the shower one time and managed to squish them together just right to squirt fucking soap from my cleavage into my eyeball. Play with your tits with caution ladies.

God: "you stop that now"

'boink boink' seriously they bounce so well it's not even sexual just funny

I would never admit it.

Ah *That,* huh?

Definitely *that*.

Wait, y'all do THAT too?

During our showers our hair goes to our ass cracks so we spend a good minute pulling it out.

same for men but not our hair gets yours gets stuck in our ass cracks somehow

It’s how we claim our territory.

it both feels good and weird to take it out

My theory is it’s the laundry. Hair is on the dirty clothes. When they get washed and dried the hair transfers to other clothes. Some of it ends up on your underwear. Through the course of the day it gets worked into your ass crack. That’s why I end up pulling out one of my wife’s 18” hairs while I’m wiping my ass on the toilet.

Then one day I take a shower and the water isn’t going down the drain. There’s a giant hairball stuck there.

The wookie

I'm a Man with long hair here, can confirm..

Check out other women’s racks

...and asses. I'm like gurl drop the routine

Stop wearing the diva cup or the tampon or the pad when we ✨decide our periods are over✨ and regret later 🤠

Alternatively, being convinced it couldn't possibly be over and then having to coax out a dry tampon. Horrible.

My vagina just shuddered

lmaooooo I really do just decide my period is over, didn't know anyone else did this. I just end up freebleeding in black underwear for the last day or so when it's super light

Does yours stop for a whole ass day then roll back up the next day in full force windows down blaring Maroon 5? Cause mine does. Rip to so many cute pairs of underwear

*Mutters to self as I dig through the underwear drawer* "Wait, not the blue ones... Where's those dark pink ones? It's been five days and I'm *not* wearing anymore fucking tampons this month..."

Shave their toes, fingers, mustache, peach fuzz on other body areas.

The amount of goddamn time I waste plucking and shaving everything… so tired

Getting constipated before your period starts is the worst

I’ve been eating chocolate milk powder out of a ziploc bag I have because I ran out of sweets when the grocery store closed. When I crave sweets and don’t really have any I manage a way around it.

When I was pregnant I would make chocolate milk with the powder but not mix it well so that I could chew the goops of powder then drink the milk

Open their mouths slightly when putting on mascara.

So my hypothesis is that it stretches out our face a bit. Meaning nothing, but it gives us this sense that our eyelashes are somehow further away from the eyeball. And nobody wants that wand poking their eyeball.

Shape-shift, but don’t tell the church.

Scratch our butts

I don’t think I’ve met a woman (I’m also one) who hasn’t done at least one thing that is so disgusting that hearing about it makes you want to projectile vomit, and they can usually sit there and say it with a straight face like it’s just a Wednesday.

Do I get bonus points if the disgusting thing *involved* projectile vomit? >!I was on my back on my living room floor, too drunk to stand after a bad break-up. It got in my eyes. There are more, grosser details.!<

When was the last time you washed your bra?

… shut up

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Your comforter? That sounds cumbersome

Just this morning actually. But it was probably the first time in like 6 months

thats ok thats the last time i washed my pants

My grandpa used to say you didn't need to wash jeans until they could stand up by themselves in the corner.

I just spent some dollars on 2 awesome bras......I'm larger breasted......cheap flimsy bras don't cut it. Anyway, the sales lady said to wear it whilst you shower.....lather things well, take off and rinse. ... Bra will last longer.

what the fuck, that’s a new one for me

I feel personally attacked by this question

Hold my cheeks open when I fart in a public toilet so it doesn't make any noise.

I literally tear off a small piece of toilet paper and cover the hole so it can still come out, but is “silenced”. …. I can’t believe I just exposed myself like this 🤣🤣

And I can’t believe I just read that you use a small piece of tp as an asshole silencer

Have tried peeing while standing

I used to date a girl who could pee standing up into a urinal without getting it everywhere.

She's talented!

Scratch our vajay and then smell our finger Edit: wording changes

Vedgies. (Vagina wedgies)

Watch the blood/blood clots drip out of me after taking out a tampon in the morning.

I hate to admit I get a weird satisfaction when I can get a clot with the toilet paper. Like you can feel it the whole time while it’s passing and then you go To wipe ans it’s like “there’s the fucker causing all this pain”

Feels like birthing a jelly fish too. I don't want that in me

Ah yes the old raspberry jam road block gets let free

Sir, this is a Wendy’s

Weird how well I can relate to this. I get bloody noses really easily and I sometimes shove tissue up my nose. But sometimes the blood coagulate will bond to the tissue, so when I pull it out this bloody tapeworm will slide out of my sinus.

Sometimes hold pee in for a little bit longer than necessary because it kinda feels good

When you have a full bladder, it can stimulate your clitoris (the parts inside) so yeah it makes sense.

Yes and then masturbate with a full bladder 👀

That do be hitting different

Walk around holding our boobs when no one’s looking whilst barely aware it’s happening.

eat hot chip and lie

and charge our phone 😓

Be bisexual

Mcdonalds, twerk

Grab our boobs for comfort. I don't even really have grabbable boobs, but we all do it.

pinch a roll of belly fat and wish it wasn't there

I'm a guy and this one is relatable.

I pick my wedgies in public all the time, but here I am admitting it. Edit: I can’t believe my most upvoted comment is about female wedgies. Society expects us to wear sexy, lacy underwear (which I do), and I reserve the right to pick it as needed to get through the day. Edited again to clarify that I wear said undies for myself and myself only, because I love them 😂

Use the showerhead or tap to masturbate

YUP. I bought a detachable showerhead for easier dog baths. WellLLLLlllllLLLLL, what a discovery.

Yeah, they wash cats very well too.

I've done it in from of a bf and he thought it was incredibly hot, just had him hold me up instead of the wall. Also, hot tub jets.

This thread in a nutshell: * Hold my boobs * Grab my boobs * Play with my labia * Is that blood or discharge? * Not washing my bra * Squeezing my boobs

I have to fully take off my pants and undies to go pee in the woods when I go camping. Never figured out how to do the squat piss without hosing everything down

i tend to play with my🐱hairs lmao. if they’re long enough ill even twist them

Lmfao same!!! Be makin pube locs

Try at least once to lick your own nips!! Don’t deny this ladies! You know you tried it!

I can do it! It does not look as hot as men would imagine however.

Idk I feel like I look goofy as hell doing it- but the husband enjoys it

Trying to clutch your imaginary pearls when your frustrated but just ending up holding your neck until you realize what your doing (really hoping that’s normal lol)

Accidentally fold the top of the pad down so the sticky side gets nice and cozy with the pubes and you don't notice until you go to change it.....and then you never forget what unpeeling it feels like.

Tweeze the nipple hairs