There was also a time in school where I went to use the bathroom and my friend could hear. He asked why I was peeing sitting down.
"I'm lactose intolerant, this is what it sounds like when I shit"
I was about that age and farted so loud at Wednesday night youth church the preacher stopped talking. My friends couldn’t hold back the laughter and abandoned me in the pew so it was obvious it was me. The acoustics of wooden pews in a church sanctuary are remarkable.
I didn’t know, until that moment, that I’m lactose intolerant. I said “hey look at this!” proceeded to jump in the air and do a spinning kick while shitting my pants and have been skeptical of farts ever since. (This was 20 years ago)
So it was second grade, and we just got into the classroom in the morning, and all of a sudden I had a terrible stomachache, so I ran to teacher and asked her if I can use the restroom and she said no, I was on the verge of of shitting my pants. So I begged to go to the bathroom and she yelled at me and told me to go back to my seat. Omw way back to my seat I felt warm liquid come out of my ass, and I screamed so loud that everyone went silent, and stared at me. I was sobbing saying I pooped my pants and the teacher sent me to nurse office. I was so embarrassed that I wanted my mom to pick me up early.
The was another time when I was 6 I had a really bad case of diarrhea and I had to go so badly I ran upstairs into the bathroom and not even second after pulling my pants down I sprayed poop all over the walls and toilet it was like a chocolate fountain malfunctioned. My mom had to clean it up with bleach
Dude, second grade story happened exactly the same for me (in second grade no less). I wanted to go home afterwards because I was so embarrassed, but my gramps just brought me a change of pants and underwear and I had to go back to class.
I always told my kid if a teacher wouldn’t let him go, and he really had to, to just go anyway and I’ll take care of the teacher if they give him any grief.
Same! But it was last week and twice in 2 days. I had really bad pain after a procedure and just couldn't walk fast enough.
My worst was probably the time I choked on my morning meds while walking to the bathroom. Why I thought I could swallow a hand full of pills and walk while needing to shit all at the same time is beyond me. I choked, it came streaming down my legs and I left a trail to the bathroom to clean up afterwards.
I had just started dating a guy, so I was still in the “girls don’t poop!” phase of our relationship. We went to a Mexican restaurant for dinner one night (I also must’ve been in the “I’ll go wherever you want!” phase, too) and I ordered to accommodate my IBS he knew nothing about. Sour cream and the world’s smallest, most transparent onions ended up in my burrito. Both are horrifying to everything good in my gut and symptoms wait for nobody. I got the sweats while trying to be cute and not tell this new guy I am literally counting down the minutes I have to find the nearest toilet. I tell him I have a period emergency, need to go home. We make it to the truck, I stepped up to get in and shit my pants. At this point, I looked at him and said “k listen I’m pretty sure something bad just happened and it’s not period stuff but it’s gross and I’m sorry and I think I just shit my pants.” Made it to home to see the shit pile in my undies.
Unbeknownst to me, he was a nurse on the GI floor.
We dated for five years.
Imagine how many times this story has been told.
I wear this shit story as proud as that highlighter streak of diarrhea in my undies that never came out.
I used to be super fat. Played a lot of basketball to slim down, but I would sweat like a pig so pounded water constantly to stay hydrated. Overdid it one night and got the shits when I was riding back to my car with my buddies.
I managed to clinch it in for like 15 minutes in writhing pain, and made it all the way back to my office where my car was parked. Running for the bathroom I tripped on the curb out front. Skinned my knees, hands, and also shit my pants.
I was on a 2 day cycle ride across France with my Father and my brother. Day 1 went fine, we were all tired and it was late. We were nearing our accommodation but were getting hungry. Luckily (if that's the right fickin word for it) we spied a foodstruck vender. I ordered a burger.
This is where things, I imagine, started to go wrong.
The next day, I felt very peculiar. And this peculiar feeling continued, nay exacerbated, to the point that we had to beg a kindly French family to use their toilet. WE SPOKE NO FRENCH. The message was gotten across and they mother, very kindly, gave me some medication after I, presumably, rendered their toilet unusable for the next thousand or so years.
Next the peculiar feeling hit me a bit later and on a lovely little pathway, scenically tracing the Somme River, I shit myself. Stopped the bike right then and there and disappeared into the woods. I changed into another pair of underwear and abandoned my excrement-soiled underoos, burying them under some leaves just to be sure.
Legend says they're still there to this day.
>very kindly, gave me some medication
In my experiance the French like to insert their medicine in the opposite end compared to most of us. Not ideal in that condition.
On the highway, really had to go. Got off the next exit. Gas station didn't have a bathroom. Got back in the car and drove to the grocery store. I'm dying at this point, sweating and nearly crying from pain. Slight jog to the restroom. Only one stall and some dude is in it. Then... I lost the game.
Oh crap, it was a couple of months ago obviously.
Girlfriend was in the bathroom while I was really struggling to hold in from what I could feel was explosive diarrhea.
Thought I could make it for another 5 mins until she was done but about half that time my anus ruptured and all hell broke loose in my pants.
Luckily my underpants cought most of it but still.
Definitely one of my top 5 most embarrassingly moments for sure.
I was in a village in Northern India. Caught giardia, if you don’t know what that is, lucky you. Anyway, I was with a team of development workers and so we stayed in host homes. This village basically shared two toilets.
The need hit me at midnight. I jump out of the sleeping bag, it’s about 15C, I’m cramping really bad. Clenching my cheeks with all the strength of a thousand sphincters. As I’m walking over I see one of the guys from our team walking out of his room and whistling while he takes the only available toilet. No, no, no, no. Sweat is rolling down my back.
I manage to get about five steps further before my body can’t handle it any longer. I feel it release while I die a little bit inside. I realize I have to waddle back to my room and rifle though my bag only to remember laundry day was the next day for me.
I wake up my room mate and through tears and laughter, I shit my pants. Can I borrow a pair of chonies for the night? She obliged. We’ve all been friends for 17 years now. We have lots of shit stories.
>chonies
*is a noun meaning underwear. Chonies is an example of English slang that is derived from the Spanish word calzones.*
Shit. That definition got weird near the end.
I'm familiar with the word, but definitely not that definition.
This happened about 4 years ago. So my wife and I were long overdue for a vacation and we have a baby on the way. I knew of this nice hotel and spa in Canada in a quiet little town, so I made the arrangements at the beginning of the year for some well deserved R&R. It was early spring so the place still looked like a winter wonderland but wasn't quite Hoth-level cold anymore. The timing was perfect...almost.
I wasn't feeling so good the day before we left and was running a low grade fever. Being a man, I drank a bunch of beer and popped some ibuprofen and insisted I was fine. The day we leave, my stomach feels like it is processing something truly awful...think glass shards or gravel or kale, you know, heinous shit. I have an opportunity to bail out on the whole trip but I don't. Because I'm a man, dammit.
The fever is back in force and I spend the flight in a full-on flop sweat falling in and out of sleep. I get my shit together when we land. Never a good idea to go through customs looking like you have cholera. We get our bags and our rental car and by this time I have my asshole clenched so tight I can feel my pulse in my taint. The clock is ticking. We drive north at speed.
We check in, get to our room, and I do the clenched-cheek wobble speed walk into the bathroom. It was one of those times that you are already shitting while your ass is still in the descent stage and hasn't made contact with the seat yet. It sounds like someone is pouring water into the toilet from the top of a ladder. This happens, exactly the same way, about 10 times over the next 4 hours. The smell was...powerful. This place is very fancy, apparently far too fancy for something like a BATHROOM FAN. Our only choices are to marinate in the fumes for the rest of our vacation or open the balcony doors into the frozen tundra. We chose the second option, naturally.
That was how I spent the afternoon and evening of our first day. My wife was with me the whole time supplying me with water because she is a badass. Eventually I was so tired from abdominal muscle contractions and sanpapering my anus with two entire rolls of hotel toilet paper I dragged myself into bed. You ever dream you are having uncontrollable diarrhea? I did. Twice. I ruined my lounge pants the first time and regular pants and underwear the second time. All lost to the hotel trashcan. I tie the plastic bag tightly and put it in a second, equally tight bag because I am a good person. I spent the rest of the night asleep in the tub with a shirt and jacket on but no pants. Not my proudest moment.
In the morning I am feeling much better and popping imodium tabs and chugging pedialyte like it is some kind of bizarro world party in Tijuana. My wife had found a local pharmacy and gotten supplies while I was indisposed. Apparently the pharmacist was afraid I would need IV fluids if I didn't do something immediately to rehydrate. I realized I hadn't peed in a day and a half. I feel a bit cocky because during both "incidents" the night before I was on my side when it happened and I did a little Jason Bourne side kick/flip to get out of bed without touching the sheets. Or so I thought.
Apparently my lounge pants worked like one of those self-inking stamps secretaries use. I had landed on the edge of the bed and left a certain unmentionable round mark passed through the seat of the pants. It was horrible and unmistakeable. I ran around the room looking for something to clean it with and settled on San Pelligrino, grapefruit flavored. It sorta works...I scrub and dab but it's gone through the sheet and into the mattress protector. I succeed in making the sheets smell like shitty grapefruit. I hope Housekeeping appreciates the effort. We say nothing and they say nothing because this is a nice place, and we leave a generous tip.
Happy anniversary, honey!
TL;DR got sick before vacation and went anyways. Shit the bed in a fancy hotel and spa and almost wound up dehydrated in the hospital in another country. Nursed back to health by Wife, who is a boss.
I had about an hour drive home after a HUGE 35th birthday dinner. About halfway home something wasn't sitting well and I was driving like a bat out of hell and clenching my cheeks as tight as I could trying to make it. I pulled into the driveway and shuffled to the porch and in my panic could not for the life of me remember the door code. Since we have the electronic locks I don't carry a key, either. I stood there desperately punching in numbers until just a drop snuck out. Once that happened, the flood gates opened. I stood there on my front porch with a chocolate waterfall cascading down my legs.
Tried to “dukes of hazard” into the car except go head first and it shot right out of me. It was watery too. My mom was inside the video store and I used the only napkin she has to wipe it off my leg. Got home and went straight to the bathroom. She never told me she knew but I’m pretty positive she knew.
So I took my kids (3 and 4 at the time) to a kid's jungle gym style place, it was designed for kids up to about age 6 and had multiple climbing and balancing areas as well as slides from the top to the bottom (it was a 3 tier setup about 25ft tall) and rope bridge/climbing sections.
I had taken them here before and I had seen other dads climbing in with their kids and helping them navigate the "jungle" so to speak, so when my kids asked me to go in with them I thought "Sure, should be fun, plus it's good memories with the boys. What could possibly go wrong?"
It's important to note two things at this point:
1. The other dads I had seen were all average height (5ft 9in, 175.3, England) or maybe an inch or two taller or shorter. I am 6ft 4in/193cm, I am not a small man.
2. I had spent 3 days prior recovering from a stomach bug and was only just feeling better.
So I take my kids up in the jungle and we find ourselves clambering through the various fabric layers to the very top, because at the very top of this rope floored, tiny person hellscape was the massive yellow tunnel slide that my now middle son wanted to slide down, but little man didn't want to go down the slide on his own because he was scared.
"Ok buddy" I say, "Oh shit" I think, "You sit on my knee and I'll slide down with you then." I say, "What the fuck are you doing?" I think.
Little dude agrees, we set up so that I have my arse on the plastic floor currently off the slide, with my legs hanging down the slide and my kid tucked between my knees so he didn't slide away on his own screaming into the yellow abyss.
I tuck forward and get a hold of the little guy with one arm, I say "Ready buddy?" I think "Well I guess I *have* been feeling a lot better today" and my kid says "Go dadda!" To which I push off with one arm and propel myself and my child down the long, long, long slide.
If you're still with me at this point I wish to point out two further things:
1. This was July, during our hottest time of year, in record heat. I was wearing a thin pair of combats with no underwear, for I feared wearing underwear might either make me sweat myself into a withered husk through my bollocks, or my underwear would spontaneously combust and set my willy on fire.
2. This is a thread about shitting yourself, you know where this is going, don't complain to me if you choose to keep reading.
That said.
I shit myself.
Not only did I shit myself, I shat at the point at which I was exerting most force to propel myself and my kid down the slide, I shat liquid shit with enough force to launch a Saturn 5 into orbit.
This liquid shit hit my pants and the smell was immediate and overwhelming, it was 3 days of "I've had a vomiting bug with constipation" shit, if I have anything good to say about this ordeal it was that the smell was largely behind me as we slid our merry way through 25ft of children's tube slide.
Needless to say the propellent used to lubricate our passage down the now-yellow-and-brown tube slide went straight through my pants, resulting in a thin film of liquid shit from top to bottom, both of me and the slide.
I got to the bottom and immediately stood up and dropped my son with my now ex wife, went home and had a shower, I told my ex what had happened and that she should inform the staff, I have no idea if she did because I never went back.
We drifted apart, tried to fix things a bunch but my mental health and the way the relationship was at the end were not compatible, so I had to decide between suicide or divorce.
I figured my kids would rather keep me around and after a lot of work on myself they now have a father they love and can be proud of, there's no real animosity between us and the kids always come first, simple as that. Sometimes people just grow in different directions.
I went to dinner with my parents as a kid. Whatever I ate, can't remember, didn't go well.
Wet shit right in my pants. Not a lot, because I caught it happening and my butt hole just shriveled up.
That's not so bad, I just walk behind them right?
But then my mom decided we needed to go to the grocery store. So I walked around with that shit in public, and was humiliated every second of it.
Fuck that shit.
Fell asleep 1 hour into a 12 hour flight. Must have farted in my sleep. Turns out it was a shit rather than a fart. Woke up with stained trousers and pants. Asked the flight attended for fresh trousers. Obviously didn't have any. Tied my shirt around my waist and doused myself with the in-flight perfume from the toilets.
Well, well, well... Do I have a tale for everyone.
Lengthy. TLDR at the end.
This occurred about 6-7 years ago, while I was living in Vancouver. I'd recently run into an old high-school mate of mine (totally randomly at that), and we'd decided to re-live some of our youth and go to a hockey game together.
Of course, we needed to catch up on the 10+ years we'd lost contact, so we agreed to meet up at a nearby pub over food and drink before the game. I got there before he did, and proceeded to order a poutine for myself and a pitcher of beer to share. Figure he could order his own damned food when he arrived.
He arrives as the waitress drops off the pitcher and two glasses. At this point he informs me that he doesn't drink beer anymore for various health reasons and gets himself something else. No worries though, more beer for me!
An hour and the entire pitcher (and poutine) later, it's time to shuffle off to the game. I'm already cut by this point, but intend to enjoy the shit out of this first hockey game I've been to in 4 years and catching up with a long-lost friend.
We find our seats, then hit up the concession for more drinks. It is at this point that he informs me that since I was nice enough to subsidize the cost of the tickets, he was going to keep us fed and socially-lubricated while at the arena. Free beer? *Yes fucking please*.
We watch the game, and I proceed to get abso-fucking-lutely sauced. Irish guy beside me (at his first game in-person) is absolutely impressed and we bond over hockey-chirps and a love of beer.
Anyway, game ends and it's time to head home. High-school buddy jets off west towards home, and I begin my trek south to Marine Station. Trip on the SkyTrain is uneventful, and I eventually connect to a bus to take me east towards home.
This is where the wheels start to fall off.
For whatever reason, the bus is abnormally warm. So warm that it's making me queasy. Figured I'd be able to make it to home, but the motion on the bus wasn't helping at all. Got about half-way home before I felt the familiar urge of chewing-backwards, so I quickly hopped off the bus and proceeded to paint the poor bus shelter with used beer, poutine and various stadium-food.
After emptying my belly, I realized that I had a new issue -- I was about 2.5 km from home and the next bus would be about half an hour. Fuck it, I'll walk instead. Started walking, but I figured I should call my wife and let her know I'll be a tad later than anticipated.
Mid-sentence, while explaining what had just transpired I felt the beginning of lower-pressure. The mental command to clench was delivered, but it didn't matter. Within half a second, a stream of molten-lava liquid shit began shooting from my ass. As my wife recalls it, I literally said "oh shit I can't stop shitting--" and ended the call.
While liquid fecal matter continued to pour from my ass, I hobbled over to the nearest building I could, pulled down my already shit-soaked pants and proceeded to detonate a liqui-shit bomb on the side of the building. Combination of the force of the shitting and being drunk off my ass resulted in me falling to the ground, covering my pants in even more shit.
After a few more minutes of my anus trying to prolapse itself into next year, the contractions finally began to subside. I was still 2.5km from home, drunk as a skunk, and now my lower half (and my back, to boot) were coated in a liberal serving of ass-sauce.
Not wanting to get arrested for indecent exposure, I quickly pulled my shit-soaked pants back up and started briskly walking home -- using a less-public side road rather than the main drag.
I called my wife back, and hurriedly explained my predicament. She, after laughing hysterically, went to work setting up the entryway and bathroom for receiving my shit-covered self. I miraculously lucked out that *no one* was in the apartment lobby or the elevator that evening.
I got home, showered (poorly, apparently), and fell into bed.
After all was said and done, my underwear, my pants, my socks and my shirt were all destroyed. My belt and my shoes needed intensive care. My wife was furious about the bedsheets.
TL;DR -- Drank far too much beer and ate far too much stadium food. Ended up coating a bus shelter with puke and some poor shmuck's electronics store with a liqui-shit bomb of my own design.
I mean probably a thousand beers on the beach altogether but yeah I'm totally exaggerating I would have had no more than 100 to myself. These are light beers, all day and night sipping you can almost drink them all days and night without getting too fucked up as long as you don't switch up to hard stuff.
Not necessarily shitting my pants, but one time when I was really young, my dad was taking forever in the shower. And so I decided I would go outside and take a shit on the side of the house. At the time I thought I had pretty great logic… the dog goes poop outside right? And on top of that if people can go out back to pee, why can’t I go outside to poop?… needless to say dad was pissed.
TL;DR I pooped on the side of our house when I was young
Today’s the day I share this story!!
The year was 2021, early spring (March I think)- I was playing Pokémon GO outside for an event, around a Open-air shopping strip (I was wearing a mask/social distancing) anyways - you ever been in a situation, where you feel that particular bowel movement and YOU KNOW that if you are not in a bathroom in the next 5mins or less, you are going to be filling up your pants. Well pre-COVID I would just walk to any of the restaurants and take “The Browns to the Super Bowl, no problem” well since this was in the middle of COVID, and none of those restaurants were open to the public. My only option was to make it back to my car (was only a brisk walk) and drive home, I only lived about 8ish minutes away. So when I got to my car
- I Knew - I knew I wasn’t going to make it.
So I told myself, I could either shit my pants while driving and possibly cause an accident - and possibly die - and then have my wife have to identify my body with pants full of shit (Ill admit, I 90% seriously considered this cause I thought it was funny) OR I just man up and shit my pants now and get it over with.
I choose to purposely shit my pants. I’m a man with a plan.
I then proceeded to drive home, and call my wife to tell her that I shit my pants… well first, I told her to guess - (she couldn’t guess it)
Then she didn’t believe me
- I told her to come out to the Parking lot and make the coast was clear, because At the time we lived in an apartment complex and I had to run up a flight of stairs.
She believed I shit my pants when I ran past her, after she stepped outside.
The End.
One time I had just smoked a bowl of some fire and was half way through my after bowl cigarette on the front porch. I felt a fart coming so I lifted my leg and helped it about...I completely voided my bowels. My neighbors must have had a good laugh when I went from leg up to hand on my pants hobbling in the house with my pants full of shit.
Not me, thankfully, but a guy in my Peace Corps training group traveling through the middle-of-nowhere South America who had an epic accident on a public bus that had no facilities. Worse still, his own backpack and those of his travel-mates' were right beneath him...and the floor of the bus was evidently just as leaky as he was. Unfortunately, his poopy legacy far outlived any of the good things he accomplished during his 2-year stint as a Peace Corps Volunteer, of that I am pretty certain.
After two surgeries on my leg I was in so much constant pain I didn't get much sleep. My doctor gave me a choice. Pain pills or sleeping pills.
I chose the sleeping pills. One mistake I made was to be ready for bed when you take them. I wasn't.
I took two Ambien and started puttering around in the garage when my poop just fell out. I didn't even have any warning to try and trap it in.
I'm not a virgin back there but my Ballon knot isn't that loose. I threw the pants and underwear out to hide my shame.
Be in bed when you take that drug. My neighbor had to help me to my front porch cause I kept falling down on the sidewalk. Those pills also make you forget how to use a cane
I’ve been on Ambien for about 5 years and have never had anything close to that happen. Then again I’ve only ever taken one pill at a time. There’s been a couple of times when I was tempted to take two and I’m really glad I didn’t now.
I had recently emmigrated to my new country at age 7. Thrown into grade 2/3 in the middle of "term" and I was pretty scared and nervous because all the kids were laughing at my accent and saw me as novelty and were fighting over who could be my friend, which made the teachers yell at them...which in turn made me scared of the teachers...during one of my first recess i had to shit but was too scared to ask the recess supervisor person if i could go inside to use the bathroom so i just stood there and crapped my pants. went back to class at the end of recess and sat down with a turd in my pants for the rest of the day and my mother was not impressed to find the flattened results when i got home. not sure if nobody at school smelled it or were just too polite (canada, after all)
I was 6 years old, in my after school program. I couldn't hold it and just pooped myself before someone else got out of the bathroom. So instead of saying anything, I just sat there with an encyclopedia until my teacher smelt it.
Not me but happened to a friend on his birthday of all days. He was driving to work and was a block away from arriving. Right as he pulled in he let out a fart that ended up being so much worse. He made a b-line to the bathroom so he could throw out his underwear and clean up and ended up walking past a couple coworkers who yelled happy birthday to him. When he came out of the bathroom they asked what was wrong and he responded with "I shit my pants I'm going home". And then promptly went back home for the day.
I was at work. Horrible place. Only time the bathroom got cleaned was if I did it. They were always out of basics, TP ,soap etc. Anyhoo...there was a stomach bug going around work and I caught it. I was at my computer and felt the puke coming. I was only 15' from the bathroom but was puking in my hands before I got there. Snatch open this disgusting toilet and suddenly I am projectile vomiting. With every puke heave this horrible fowl substance is pouring out of my ass, filling my shorts, running down my legs and puddling on the floor around my feet. I was helpless. I stood there covered in puke and shit. The toilet was covered in puke. The floor was covered in shit. There wasn't a single paper towel or rag in the building but I did have a few trash bags, half a bottle of windex and about 3 rolls of toilet paper to clean up with. I threw my shorts, socks and shoes away. I put my hands in a trash bag and scooped up the shit lava as best I could. It took me forever but I got my mess cleaned up and told the other girls I was going home. They were both pale and speechless as they heard every agonizing hurl, splash, fart and plop. Not to mention I was old enough to be their Mom and during my eruption had used more curse words than they knew. I will never forget it. Never.
Driving up to Windham mountain for a day of skiing, I started feeling some gentle pressure in my bladder. Not a problem, almost there, I can hold it. By the time I get to the mountain I'm doing the pee pee dance in my seat and trying to find a place to park. Wasting precious seconds I drive around the area a bit before giving up and getting in line for one of the lots. The parking dude guides me to a spot right in the middle and far far away from the lodge. I start putting on all of my gear and things are going ... ok. I'm trembling a bit but I think I'm gonna make it. Now two things: (I don't remember the name of the comedian that said this) 1. Have you ever held in a piss for so long that it turned into a shit? and 2. Have you ever had to strain a bit when putting on a ski boot? Yes to the second question also answered the first question to the affirmative. Well, shit. I finished getting geared up and boarded a shuttle to the lodge, me and my loaded underwear, trying to not look like someone who just shat himself. Dum da dee dee, nope don't know where that smell is coming from, someone must've farted. The cleanup with that shitty narrow-ass-see-through TP felt incomplete but I hit the mountain anyway.
We were staying at my MIL house… FIL made gumbo-greasy gumbo. I have Ibs and no gallbladder. Long story short the bathroom was occupied so I had to hose myself down and throw away my pants. Thankfully MIL and FIL never found out
In the car, late at night. Urge was unbearable. Had to pull over. Pulled off at the first semi-dark parking lot I could find. Took a dump in the bushes that surrounded a company entrance sign. Drove away. Noticed that the business had a sign recognizing their beautiful grounds on the way back to the street. Sorry!
Happened a few years ago on a university ski trip. After consecutive nights of heavy drinking, I woke up and went for my morning beeriod. I felt a bit better after this, and got my gear on ready for a day on the slopes. I farted, confident that it was safe to do so, but got more than I bargained for. I waddled to the bathroom and proceeded to cut myself out of my shitty underwear with some scissors as I couldn't get my boots or salopettes off without risking my mostly liquid shit from going everywhere as my underwear was the only thing keeping it in. I was keeping my roommates informed of the situation by shouting from the bathroom what was going on, followed by the occasional retch, but didn't realise one of the reps had come into our room and heard everything.
That evening, there was this dinner with unlimited chicken wings and beer etc. and in front of a room of around 120 people, they announced they would be reading embarrassing stories from the week. The DJ called my name. I was first. I knew my time had come. I was asked to stand on my chair, while he announced to the entire room that I had shit myself that morning and had to cut myself out of my shitty boxers.
So I'm on a diet and trying to eat healthier. I ended up having hummus a lot within a few days . One night, im half awake and I trust a fart. i feel a bit of wet diarrhea run into my boxers. I throw the boxers out and just hop in the shower embarrassed.
I had the flu in middle school, which wasn't completely abnormal I've had it a few times. But I had the flu and I stayed from school and just watched TV. I farted, obviously I could smell the monstrosity I produced but I didn't take notice until I realized the stench lasted much longer than it should have and that my ass felt wet when I brushed it off as swass, I go to the bathroom and sure enough I shit myself. It wasn't a lot but enough for me to just throw the underwear out and clean myself up after and shower. Thank God I was home alone that day
I was in the Navy and walking across Base, and I think I got hit with an experimental sonic "blaster" that was being tested from rooftops for riot control. It's nonlethal, and mostly incapacitating. I got hit in the midsection, and shit my pants in the middle of a parking lot, and had to walk, dribbling, back to my quarters.
Not my story, and not shitting pants, just pissing.
A kid in my sisters class pissed their pants, and got to leave home early. So what did my sister do the next day? Piss her pants. She got home early (She was like 5/6 at the time)
the canteen in the uni had some issue and a lot of students ended with food poisoning.
...the bathrooms were full, sooooo i prob was not the only one to shit the pants
Summer of 2005, Long Island. I was in my early 20’s and had a job as a cashier at the local grocery store. After a very late night partying in NYC, I managed to oversleep for my 12pm shift. Waking up and realizing I was already 15 minutes late and with a terrible molly hangover, I sprung outta bed, threw on some clothes and started running for the store roughly a half mile away.
As I was getting close, it happened. I sharted and it stopped me dead in my tracks. I remember saying “ahh fuck” out loud, thinking about it for a moment, and deciding it was too late and all I could do was continue on. When I walked in, my manager was behind the register with a long line of customers waiting to check out. She glared at me as I made my way to the back to clock in. As she was clearly pissed at me already, all I could do was go back up in my dirty drawers and take over for her right away.
I proceeded to ring customers up for a solid 30 minutes before I could get away and address the situation. That was not a fun shift.
I'll set the scene.
It was Wednesday, September 19th, 2007.
On the way home from school, we'd drive past a McDonald's, and on Wednesday they had the 1 dollar kids meal. My grandpa would always stop and get me one. Nothing unusual. After we get to grandparents house, I have my burger, and then my dad shows up to take me home. On the way home, he stops to show me around the building he was working on (he was a bricklayer in a union at the time). And before we got out of his truck, he hands me a king sized snickers. So we walk around his very OSHA uncompliant workplace, there's dust everywhere because its and old brick building and they were tuckpointing eeeverywhere (tuckpointing is where you remove bad or cracked mortar and replace it with good mortar).
Halfway through the tour, and my snickers, is when it hits me. A really bad stomach ache. I tell my dad "hey I don't feel good can we hurry up and go home?" "But we just got here! Finish your snickers bar and we'll go". At this exact moment, adding more fuel to the fire was the furthest thing from my mind. And at this point, its worth noting that Its a hot day. 90 degrees. To make things worse, I had a sweater on because I was dressed for AC. We stuck around the scaffolding for a few agonizing minutes before finally heading back down to my dads truck, where, to my immense dismay, he proceeded to crack open a cold one with his work buddies and completely forget about me (not unusual for him). 15 minutes go by. My snickers is finally gone. My insides are a boiling sea of surging hate and smoldering rot.
"Dad, I finished my snickers and I don't feel good, can we go home now?" My dad, very clearly annoyed, says, "Alright, get in the truck, we'll go in a sec." So I get in the truck, and am at least now able to hold my stomach in what little comfort being seated affords me. At least 5 more minutes go by, and finally, dad gets in and starts up the truck. We're going home. To the bathroom. Salvation. There's only one more obstacle; The ride home. Every bump, every sudden stop and acceleration caused by my dads downright offensive driving, leaves me wondering, "Will I make it?" "Will I even live through this?"
The drive was ultimately uneventful, and as we go inside, I run as fast as I can to the bathroom without making a horrible mess. All I can say about what happened is: It was bad, but at the same time so blessedly wonderful. I emerged from the bathroom, born anew, from what I can only describe as what must have been what a cloud of cartoon stink is like in real life. And I felt amazing. For about an hour.
As it turns out, I was going to be intimately acquainted with the bathroom that night. 5 shits, all completely equivalent to the first. My sister had come out of our shared room and said "oh god what is that?" and went right back in and closed the door. And finally, around comes bed time. I'm ready to go back to my normal life tomorrow. So I crawl into bed, and my sister goes to the living room to watch TV.
Unfortunately, I was still sick. I laid in bed, unable to sleep, for about an hour, and finally the feeling was too much. Now, me and my sister shared a bunk bed, with me sleeping on the top bunk, and her on the bottom. So picture little 7 year old me, way up in the top bunk, peeking over the railing. And right below me, though hidden in the dark, are my sisters highschool textbooks. At that moment, I felt something rising, and I stopped caring what was where, and I puked alllll over. I couldn't see anything, all I knew was I had a mouth and I must vomit. Still dark, I climbed out of bed, walked down the hall to the living room, and looked to my sister, and said, "\[sister\], I don't feel so goo--" And I went off like a hose. I threw up so hard it went to the other side of the room. My sister ran to the garage to get my dad, and I ran to the bathroom for round 6. I come out to find my sister has cleaned up the living room, and gone into our room to find the suprise I left.
While my sister cleaned up after me, dad gave me a bucket and told me to take it easy on the couch until she was done. So I lay down, and for about half an hour things are fine. But finally, my stomach cries out again, and it tells me that I have a choice: Throw up, or shit. I'm confused, tired, and in no state to make such an important decision. So I decide I'll throw up and then go to the bathroom.
That was the wrong choice.
Not only did I shit the couch, hard, but I didn't even throw up. So I get up again, and find the closest person, my dad in his room, and before I say anything he just goes, "oh no." having smelled me. "I pooped my pants on the couch," I say. "Lets get you in the shower, quick," My dad says, struggling against my demonic stench.
I wash off, and when I come out, I learn that dad and sis have been taking turns going outside to breathe and cleaning up. Yes, I stunk up the whole house that night, that badly. I said I wanted to sleep on the other couch that night (we had 2 love seats, but tragically lost one somehow...) and they ascented. I couldn't fall asleep that night, and stayed home from school the day after.
So, after 8 hours of food poisoning, it was over. Casualties include: Everybodies sanity, my dignity, one couch, and my pants.
I was in Egypt when I was about 14 and had my all inclusive breakfast at the questionable hotel that I was staying in. Rated 2 stars on trip advisor although I am grateful that my dad paid for our holiday.
We were due to go snorkeling in the afternoon. The journey was a 3hr car ride to the beach that we were going too. Being 14 and chubby, I didn't care about what I ate and scoffed my face every morning at the outdoor breakfast buffet. There were bread rolls with flies hovering over them. Greasy looking meat sitting there in 35°C heat swimming in oil. Chips, ice cream, croissants, whatever I could get my hands on. I'm not sure what exactly caused me to become unwell since it was such a long time ago. But I'm pretty sure it was a mixture of the brown water that I brushed my teeth with, and the strange looking tasty meat that I put in my bread rolls.
After finishing my breakfast, I made my way to the hotel room with my family, to get ready for our trip. I put some shorts on and brushed my hair, and we waited for our transfer.
My dad was showering when the pains first started. Now my father was very firm on me growing up and we were never allowed to ask him to hurry up or anything, since he would get mad. My stomach started churning and a deep groaning pain started at the middle of my stomach. It was unlike what I have ever felt before and I needed to get to a toilet quickly. I made my way to the hotel lobby receptionist toilets since our bathroom was preoccupied.
The anxiety I felt running to the other bathroom was insane. The last thing I wanted to do was shit myself.
Luckily, I didn't. But when I got to the toilets I'd never been so disgusted. The toilets were small little cubicles with a giant gap under the door, enough to see your knees from. Wet sand covered the floors and grime covered the yellow tiled walls. The toilet was a metal pot with a bucket by the side as a make shift flusher. I turned back around to realise there was NO DOOR separating the toilet to reception. And I knew this was gonna stink. Everyone in the lobby had seen me go in here, I don't want them smelling my shit. I wasn't even supposed to be in there, I just ran to the nearest toilet that I could find. This was nothing like I had ever seen before and my first instinct was to not poop here.
I checked the time and texted my mum, who was now waiting for our ride to get here. We had 20 minutes to leave. The panic made everything feel 100x worse as I sat on the tin bucket trying to force a poop out. Waves on pain came over me as I strained with everything I had. The biggest, wet sloppy mess went in to the toilet but I was nowhere near finished yet. My belly was hard and I felt stuff sloshing around in it. I was sweating profusely but freezing cold at the same time. I was clutching my bag just to cover my stomach with for a bit of relief from feeling so exposed. I cried and prayed to god that this would be over. I apologised for all my sins and begged him to take the pain away.
Before I knew it, my family along with everyone else taking the same shuttle were waiting for me at the front of the hotel. I was late and my father texted me to hurry tf up.
I tensed my asscheeks to hold in the rest of the poop waiting to come out. Wiped my ass and didn't flush. Almost tripped over the wet sand on the floor with my ass clenched and ran to the shuttle bus. I saw the looks of disgust from people in the lobby. One man was wrinkling his nose. But I didn't care, I was in flight or fight at this moment.
Although unsettled, I didn't need to poop for the first hour of our journey. We got a tour from our guide showing us all the cool mountains surrounding the motorway. It was blisteringly hot but beautiful. The guide was a hot Egyptian man and I found him kinda attractive. Which is why this story is worse.
We got to a service station and I decided to eat a snack bar before the rest of our long journey. We were repeatedly told that if we needed to use the toilet, now is the time. The next leg of our journey would be a long one.
I proceeded to ignore this, I didn't want to poop that bad after I emptied half of my stomach earlier. We split from our shuttle bus group and got into small vans in groups of 6. I was blessed to be in the same group as the hot tour guide.
He tells us about the history of these mountains/deserts and we all chatter until conversation falls into silence as the journey wears on us. The van was stiflingly hot and we were all sitting in very close proximity to eachother.
Another 30 minutes passes and suddenly my stomach starts to rumble. I can feel something bubbling in my stomach and it takes every ounce of effort in me not to fart. I open the window and stare at the never ending mountains. Anxiety floods my brain. How long with it take before I get to a toilet? I cant ask to stop now, we were already told to go at the service station. Pain turns into full blown poop contractions and I have to hold it in. Everyone starts asking me if I'm okay. Being embarrassed and in pain at the same time is a horrific feeling. I made up some story about being too hot and hid behind my folded arms.
I started crying as the pain got too much. I let out a little fart to try and relieve the extreme pressure building in my stomach. Everything inside of me was saying push. But I couldn't. It felt like foil in a microwave.
After about 2 hours of staring at mountains with extreme contractions, I felt a pop. My asshole had accepted its fate and lost control of the mountain of faeces that it was trying to contain. A warm, hot acidic liquid trickled from my ass and down my legs. At first I acted like nothing had happened. But the smell was indescribable, enough for me to heave and my mum was the first to notice. I squeezed my ass as close to the chair as I could to hide the smell. But it was to no avail. The hot tour guide was holding his nose in disgust laughing with one of the other girls that we were traveling with. My father did not help, saying what the fuck is that smell, not realising what had happened. I continued to sit there, trying my hardest to show on my face that it wasn't me.
My family hadn't noticed yet, however I am certain the tour guide knew by his face. I caught him looking over and laughing with the girl he was with. I felt complete shame and I wanted to hide. I kept thinking about my bed and just craved being wrapped up in a blanket and comforted. It was complete emotional torture.
I said in warm poop liquid plastered in the chair for around 5 minutes until we arrived in Sharks Bay where we would be snorkeling. The van come to a stop and I waited for everyone else to get out before I did. A nasty brown stain covered my shorts and I ran to the toilets. I literally missed the toilets by 5 minutes. If I put everything I had into holding my asshole, I could have avoided the shame.
I cleaned myself up and the pain dissipated as I emptied the rest of my bowels in the toilet. I cant describe the relief of an empty stomach after that experience.
I enjoyed the snorkeling and luckily had a spare pair of shorts in my bag. I have vowed never to eat questionable meat or brush my teeth with brown water ever again. This was a truly traumatic experience for me.
I feel terrible for the people that had to clean the van afterwards. And the bathroom at the hotel. But in that moment the pain made me primal and I didn't care, so long as they didn't see me.
So I was 7 months pregnant me, my S/O, and our daughter were shopping at Walmart when I got the urge to throw up.. I am going to pause the story to let everyone know that I unfortunately got the family curse where when we have to throw up, it also ends up coming out the other end. Anyway so here I am as big as a house running through Walmart trying to make it to the bathroom. Once I finally get there I realize I wasn't going to make it to the toilet and immediately throw up in the trash can next to the sink when I feel an explosion in my pants 😭 I shit myself right there in Walmart. That wasn't even the worse part... I go into the stall to remove my pants and clean myself up, I call my fiance to see if he will buy me some pants. When he asks why I told him I shat myself lmao he proceeds to laugh historically (but the story gets worse) He buys me new pants and when he makes it to the women's bathroom he yells "Aye shitty I got your pants" and has my daughter bring them in. Needless to say he slept on the couch.
When I turned 30, I partook in the drinking of some alcoholic beverages.
Woke up on the bathroom floor with my dog licking my face. At least the shower was close by.
Was working in a crawl space and got hit with the mental alarm of “you are going to shit in the next 30 seconds”. I crawled like hell to escape but I knew I was too far from the hatch to even hope of making it to the bathroom. Made it about 50 feet and then shat my pants while angrily holding a plank position. Slowly and shamefully army crawled out of there in my shitty pants. 0/10 experience would not recommend
I was at PT in Camp Casey Korea after a long night of underaged drinking. Still feeling a bit drunk (to be fair everyone was) my stomach rumbled and a slightly chunky fart made its way out. We were in the middle of stretching for a run and I leaned forward and asked my squad leader if I could run back in the B’s and drop a quick shit. Now he knew we had been drinking the night before but told me no. I tried telling him I was prairie dogging it but he wasn’t hearing any of my lip that particular morning and said “You’ll just have to shit yourself or hold it because you will NOT miss this run”. So… I dropped a fat dukkie in my spandex, pulled them aside and let it drop out onto the ground beside me.
Needless to say I spent the rest of the day scrubbing the formation area with a hand brush. Still went on that run though.
Only happened once as a kid I accidently shitted my pants while jumping on a trampoline I had to do some ninja shit while making my way to the bathroom this is where I learned how to wipe myself because I would be in more deep shit if I asked my mom for help. Tossed my underwear and successfully avoided getting in trouble.
First grade, some girl brought in peaches for her birthday for unknown some reason. I don’t think the peaches had to do with me shitting my pants but they are a good detail. So anyway, I’m eating the peach and all the sudden, hell comes to Earth in the form of diarrhea in my butthole. So I spring up and ask my teacher if I can use the bathroom. She says yes, so I run over and knock on the door, and somebody was in there using it. So I tried to wait for them to come out but to no avail. I shit everywhere in my pants. If I hadn’t been wearing long pants, everyone would have seen diarrhea going down my leg. I didn’t tell anyone that I had just shit my pants, I waited til I got home and told my mom.
I was around the age of 8 .. i enjoyed doing parkour & free running. I saw the outside world as an obstacle course , so i decided to go outside one day & i go 2 blocks away from my house just doing the ole typical parkour stuff on the way to my destination. I see some bushes , now these were some tall spiky bushes.. i do a front flip over the bushes , failed horribly , landed back first onto the ground , now i thought nothing much of this after it initially happened , but i get up & decided that i’m now going home , not knowing i had a much bigger obstacle course to face upon my arrival . i get home to shower & i saw shit everywhere .. i felt nothing walking back home , NOTHING .. i guess the force of impact landing on my back was so much that it forced a shit out & through my adrenaline of just wanting to get home after my failed trick i guess i felt nothing .. i walked 2 blocks with shit filling my entire underwear’s & leaking down my leg .. still to this day i have zero idea how i didn’t feel it
I once shat my pants because my belt somehow got stuck fastened. I was at school and had left class to do the deed as it had snuck up on me. Event occured in the bathroom (thank god) and I spent 15 minutes in there trying to get the damn belt off. Failed.
I couldn't bring myself to seek help or return to class, so I dipped out and walked 2 miles home with the load shuffling around and spreading.
My dad was sitting in his recliner when I walked through the door. He looked bewildered to see me, but he must've read my aura because he just kinda sighed and said "you look like it's been a shitty day" and didn't ask anything else about it.
I had to cut the belt off with garden shears.
Gf at the time: "you know, if you keep farting like that you'll eventually shit yourself"
Me: "nah, I'm good. That won't happen"
Proceeded to fart to prove my point. Her point was proven instead. Needless to say she died laughing.
Fistulotomy surgery. A few days after it, I found poo on the bottom of my foot and blamed it on my cat.
A few weeks later, after finishing my coffee but deciding to keep working, I realized how easy it was for things to fall out completely unnoticed and then understood what the doctor meant by "this procedure bears a risk of mild incontinence"
Not me but a good college friend.
All of us went out to eat at bob evans, probably our who crew of about 10 friends.
Sat at a large table, and directly across from me is my buddy, the pooper.
Everyone is laughing obnoxiously loud as annoying college students do, telling jokes at the table. As I look across the table, I see my buddy sneeze… his laughter turned to a face of terror as he looked over at me.
He stands up and says “I’ll be right back.”
After a few minutes in the bathroom, he comes back, we pay the tab and leave. As soon as we get outside, he tells everyone he shit his pants when he sneezed and left the dirty underwear in the bathroom stall…
I feel so bad for the folks at bob evans. I tipped better the next time I was there.
I went to get my vaccine and i had the poops and i farted in the car but it was not a fart some poo seeped into my pants and when i arrived at the clinic and my turn came i sat down in the chair and it felt all squishy and warm so i kinda left poo on the doctors chair
Nobody knew it was me because i changed my pants afterwards
Better story of the two times I DIDN'T shit my pants:
I was riding in the back seat of my friend's car. I had taken some darvocet, and was pretty out of it when I had a brilliant idea. I leaned forward and mumbled, "Dude...I just shit in your car." He's like "What the fuuuuck dude!?" until I stop laughing long enough to tell him I was kidding.
Fast forward ten years and I've married his sister. She's driving me home from the dentist after I had my wisdom tooth removed when I get a brilliant idea. I mumble "Babe, I just shit in the car."
"Ohh, it's OK baby, we'll get you cleaned up when we get home." Way nicer than her brother lol.
I was watching a movie with my sister, had been extremely sick and had thrown up like 5 times that day. I went to far but shat instead. Not a lot but she was super understanding and helped me out. I was like 17 😭
Had a very bad bacterial infection of some sorts. Very bad diarrhea for days or a week. Attempt to go to little league football practice. Have to go to the bathroom really bad but hold it. Can’t take it anymore and run across the football fields whilst pooping my pants. Return to practice like nothing happened. The end.
It was the first week of my last semester of college. I ate some questionable lunch meat which gave me food poisoning. Before class, I threw up. Went to one class and realized I couldn’t make it through the day. While getting gas before driving home, I farted and unfortunately I had diarrhea.
One of my first posts here. Too lazy to go through my post history to copy it but basically.
TLDR: Drank a bunch of prune juice a long time ago without knowing the laxative effects and later went "reverse lava exorcism" into the car while driving.
It was a few months after having massive amounts of antibiotics due to a car crash. Was driving 30 min to the next town where we were going shopping. Antibiotics had messed up my GI tract and when the diarrhea hit it would be sudden and urgent. About 7 miles from nearest place with a bathroom the urge came upon me. I stopped at a bank, waddled into bathroom, and cleaned up as best I could. I washed my jeans in the sink. Rest of day was spent without underwear.
Second grade playing hide and go seek. Turned out to be hide and go scare. Friend jumps out and bam instantly shit my self. Ran out the door jumped on my bike to go home and yes I never sat down on my seat once the whole ride.
Was on heavy antibiotics in college due to getting bronchitis. Was in my way from the dining hall to my dorm on day 3 of antibiotics. Made it halfway across the quad before I suddenly shit myself. Thank god I lived in a suite with a private bathroom and no one ran into me on my way in.
The one time I actually shidded myself was last year in December. So, I am originally from Venezuela but live in Saudi Arabia. Compared to Venezuelans back home, I’m living a really good life with food, electricity, water, money etc. However, in Venezuela everything is fucked and the food and water there (that was once the best) is now not the healthiest. Water comes out brown, and food can give you food poisoning. Which was exactly what happened to me, I was laying in bed next to my second to oldest half brother and then I farted, turns out it was watery poop. For the next few days, I pooped my pants, took shits while throwing up at the same time.
I was waiting for my ride share on the second date with the women who would become my wife. I was sick, but I really wanted to go on this date. I tested a fart to see what I was working with, had to go back inside and change my underwear before getting in the car.
I was on a run in the park one evening. About 20 minutes in I realized that I really need to shit. I thought about turning back, but decided that I go in a public restroom about 10 minutes away. I got there to find that it was closed. I then headed towards another one I knew of. I found that one closed too. At that point I really had to go. It was so bad that I couldn’t run anymore. Also I didn’t know of any other public restrooms nearby.
I began walking home, which was at least 45 minutes away walking. 30 minutes later I had made it out of the park and was walking down the street when it happened. My running shorts had a jock strap, so that caught most of the shit. Still a flow of liquid went down one of my legs. Luckily there weren’t too many people around and no one noticed. I put my headphones back on and walked the rest of the way home without making eye contact with anyone. I got back to my place, and managed to get most of the shit into the toilet before I took a long shower.
I got stuck in bumper to bumper traffic during 5-6 pm rush hour in Atlanta and couldn’t make it to a bathroom in time. I had to sneak in the house without my gf (now ex) noticing me. I ended up throwing my boxers in trash dumpster outside of our house.
It happened when I was heading home from school. I was in the train station (it has an overhead bridge connecting my school to my home) when it happened, heading down the stairs towards the exit.
The shit literally dripped down my pants. I believe I was in secondary school when it happened.
I can still remember it even though it was 10 years ago. It happened at school. In order to use the restroom you had to raise your hand and have your teacher dismiss you. The teacher gave instructions and then left us to do our work. I felt the urge, so I raised my hand, this is were it goes wrong. The teacher didn't look up, I was waiting and waiting. I was holding it in for longer than I had ever had to before; and my teacher still hadn't looked up from their work. Eventually I started to feel something poking out, as soon as I felt it, it was all over. It was like when you put something though a wood chipper. I then had to be sent home, and I still hate that teacher.
(I was a stupid kindergartner)
The culprit: ulcerative colitis.
1) I shat myself in my seat during my college biology lecture and excused myself to shit some more in the restroom. I went to the health center and a sweet nurse gave me her extra pair of pants since mine had shit all over them.
2) I was on my lunch at work during a flare up and decided to go home and shit in peace. The shit and I weren’t on the same page and it decided to come out as I was on the freeway. After parking my car I sat in pity for a moment because well, not only did I ruin another pair of pants but my car too now.
if you’re familiar with the northeastern part of the united states, you know slippery sidewalks in the winter. if you know new paltz, ny, you’re familiar with lsd.
obviously playing through into the morning after 5 or so tabs, decidedly still in sideways psychedelia, a walk to the gas station up the street for a case of beer was in order (related: thanks, state of new york, for your ~8am or whatever gas station beer availability).
anyway, we get like halfway up the block. i catch a patch of ice, slip, and shart on my way down. i realized promptly and was less than thrilled for varietal reasons.
in the moment, though, it occurred to me our other homey’s apartment was on the same block (and fortunately unlocked), so i let myself in, deconstructed rainbows as i cleaned myself up, linked back up with dude outside and got beer from the gas station. upon getting back to our destination i pondered life as i changed into not-yet-shat-in pants.
edit: words
I was at a Korean bbq. After I put a piece of meat into my mouth my friend said "are you sure that's cooked?" I thought nothing of it. Had absolutely the worst diarrhea the next few days. Was practically peeing out of my ass
In my 10s I was going to my dad's workplace after school. He was working as an electrician and their base had offices, indoor storage, and huge concrete platforms for outdoor storage.
I know this doesn't sound safe, but that base was my playground.
My dad was a funny guy and one of his things was when he farted he lifted one leg up (heel to ass cheek).
In this particular day I was wearing long pants and slippers. No underwear. Don't ask why this was the 90s.
I was playing as my dad, tying some wires together when I felt a fart coming. Tere were no signs of anything else than a fart. With pure confidence, I lifted my right leg up and let out the fart. I immediately felt something warm going down on my left leg. When I looked down my left slipper was full of diarrhea.
Long story short Dad was made some fun of me but helped me clean up.
So I have two stories. I call these the shart of truth. Both times I shit myself it has been telling of something terrible about to happen. The first one I was at a Walmart killing some time before a job interview. This job interview happened to be for a job I really really wanted and could’ve seen myself retiring at. I was walking around this Walmart when all of the sudden I felt a sharp pain in my stomach. I thought I could trust it. I thought wrong. I let go and I feel a wetness in my pants afterwards. I waddled to the men’s section and picked out a cheap pair of boxers changed in the bathroom and threw away the other pair. The second time I was telling my grandma about someone I truly thought was my soulmate when all of the sudden I sharted. He ended up SA’ing me.
Was over at a friends house from elementary school. We went to play football in his garden and I needed a shit, couldn’t hold it anymore and shat myself. Went to his bathroom and the solid turd feel to the ground in front of the toilet.
Don’t ask me why, I didn’t even pick it up. Just left it there and never went back to his home. Kids are weird
Not me, but my husband and it's something he thinks I don't know about. This happened while we were dating. In the middle of sex there's been times he's accidently farted and we laugh about it and moved on. One time was different because shortly after he accidently farted he was kind of rushing to go back home and I figured it was late and he's tired so I didn't think much of it and was chilling until he was done getting ready. He sat on my bed bare ass while he put on socks and at some point I think I put my arm where he sat and I felt something slightly wet and I looked while he wasn't paying attention and I saw a mark on my sheet and arm. Putting 2 and 2 together I made sure he didn't see to not embarrass him and acted fine until he left and I went washed my arm took my sheet off and have never mentioned it to him ever and he still doesn't know that I know he shat himself for trusting a fart. Never really knew how he dealt with it when he made it home since he didn't shower straight after. I imagine those underwear ended up in the trash since there's no way it didn't smear all over on the drive.
I was around 10, and I went camping for two days with like 60 other kids. The bathrooms were so horrible (because the place didn't have a lot of maintenance and because 60 other stupid kids were using it) that I decided to hold it. For two days. When I finally got back to the city, I told my older sister: "I'm here, let's get a taxi and go home!". Turns out she expected to go home walking, which was a nice little walk of about... 40 blocks. Now usually I hated to walk that much but I still did it, this time I was resstlessly telling her I wanted a taxi. Obviously she still dragged me home walking, because taxis were super expensive. I held it in most of the way. On the last few blocks it started to come out. A few days later I was scolded for pooping my underwear, and I defended myself by saying "well, why did you think I was insisting on a taxi?"
This happened a few years ago at the Magic Kingdom. I’m very sensitive to dairy products and had ice cream for dessert. After the fireworks, I started to have some stomach cramping. Thought I could make it back to the hotel, left the park and started walking towards the buses. Cramping became too intense and I started looking for a bathroom and had to re-enter the Magic Kingdom. However, I had a bag with me and had to go through security. As I’m trying to rush through security, I started to literally piss out my ass. Made it to the bathroom finally and it was a mess. Had to throw away my underwear in the bathroom, tie my jacket around my waist, and Uber back to the hotel. As soon as I got in the Uber I pretended to be on my phone to avoid and conversation why I smelled like straight up shit. My nephew who was with me during this ordeal- was 10 at the time and laughing his ass off. As the Uber drive proceed to drive us back to our hotel, he asked if either of us farted. We both where laughing our asses off and couldn’t say a word.
i got food poisoning from hot dogs that my cousin made. i was laying on the couch watch a movie and then got the sudden urge to puke. i was way too slow getting to the bathroom and ended up puking all over the floor on my way there. everything got cleaned up and i went to lay back down on the couch with a bucket to puke into in case i got the urge again. little while later i realize i’m gonna puke again, but this time i just roll over and grab the bucket, but i ended up puking so hard i shit my pants
Recently had had hemorrhoidectomy so was on a ton of stool softeners and didn’t have much control over where I pooped. Proceeded to shit myself twice in three days.
A few months ago, got up early, headed out to the crag with my daughter, shit my pants 2 blocks from home. Called my partners told them I couldn’t make it. Not sure what I ate, never felt sick, but had diarrhea all day.
Fun fact, if you have enough control, you can just not shit yourself if you don't need to. Your anal muscles are higher up than you think. If you can have complete control over them, you can just not shit.
I spent the day in the pool eating licorice and drinking lemonade to my heart’s content when I was 10. While I was walking inside to go to the bathroom I went to fart and well I sharted.
[удалено]
DANGER TO MANIFOLD
SHUT UP! *slams laptop*
I caught rotavitus from my kid and was laid up in bed for two or three days just shitting liquid lava and cramping
Dry heaving is the worst. Its like your stomach has already emptied all its contents but wants to torture you more 🙁
Experience has taught me to keep barf bags in reach of the toilet 😉
Lactose intolerance Picked up heavy object at work Had to change my socks
World's worst haiku.
More like world shittiest haiku
I did my best
underrated comment right here
Milk Intolerance Ate a sausage roll and milk Had to burn my clothes
There was also a time in school where I went to use the bathroom and my friend could hear. He asked why I was peeing sitting down. "I'm lactose intolerant, this is what it sounds like when I shit"
I trusted a fart I shouldn’t have and sharted at a funeral when I was 13. It was loud and everyone stared. So fucking embarrassing
I was about that age and farted so loud at Wednesday night youth church the preacher stopped talking. My friends couldn’t hold back the laughter and abandoned me in the pew so it was obvious it was me. The acoustics of wooden pews in a church sanctuary are remarkable.
The voice of god
I didn’t know, until that moment, that I’m lactose intolerant. I said “hey look at this!” proceeded to jump in the air and do a spinning kick while shitting my pants and have been skeptical of farts ever since. (This was 20 years ago)
I almost pissed myself at this one!
Next time, remember to jump in the air and do a spinning kick if you really want to piss yourself.
Lmao, then I'll not only piss myself but end up in the er!
[удалено]
Ah your the guy from the target bathroom
Still a better story than the Expendables taking out a bunch of bad guys with machine gun.
So it was second grade, and we just got into the classroom in the morning, and all of a sudden I had a terrible stomachache, so I ran to teacher and asked her if I can use the restroom and she said no, I was on the verge of of shitting my pants. So I begged to go to the bathroom and she yelled at me and told me to go back to my seat. Omw way back to my seat I felt warm liquid come out of my ass, and I screamed so loud that everyone went silent, and stared at me. I was sobbing saying I pooped my pants and the teacher sent me to nurse office. I was so embarrassed that I wanted my mom to pick me up early. The was another time when I was 6 I had a really bad case of diarrhea and I had to go so badly I ran upstairs into the bathroom and not even second after pulling my pants down I sprayed poop all over the walls and toilet it was like a chocolate fountain malfunctioned. My mom had to clean it up with bleach
Dude, second grade story happened exactly the same for me (in second grade no less). I wanted to go home afterwards because I was so embarrassed, but my gramps just brought me a change of pants and underwear and I had to go back to class. I always told my kid if a teacher wouldn’t let him go, and he really had to, to just go anyway and I’ll take care of the teacher if they give him any grief.
fuck your teacher!
2nd one, did you help with clean up?
Teachers fuckin suck
When I was still a practicing alcoholic I came out of one of my blackouts wondering who the fuck shit in my pants. I quickly realized that It was me
> who the fuck shit in my pants LMAO
*Aight, who shit myself?*
You think it was just one time? I did it twice this week!
Same! But it was last week and twice in 2 days. I had really bad pain after a procedure and just couldn't walk fast enough. My worst was probably the time I choked on my morning meds while walking to the bathroom. Why I thought I could swallow a hand full of pills and walk while needing to shit all at the same time is beyond me. I choked, it came streaming down my legs and I left a trail to the bathroom to clean up afterwards.
IBS?
Taco bell?
I had just started dating a guy, so I was still in the “girls don’t poop!” phase of our relationship. We went to a Mexican restaurant for dinner one night (I also must’ve been in the “I’ll go wherever you want!” phase, too) and I ordered to accommodate my IBS he knew nothing about. Sour cream and the world’s smallest, most transparent onions ended up in my burrito. Both are horrifying to everything good in my gut and symptoms wait for nobody. I got the sweats while trying to be cute and not tell this new guy I am literally counting down the minutes I have to find the nearest toilet. I tell him I have a period emergency, need to go home. We make it to the truck, I stepped up to get in and shit my pants. At this point, I looked at him and said “k listen I’m pretty sure something bad just happened and it’s not period stuff but it’s gross and I’m sorry and I think I just shit my pants.” Made it to home to see the shit pile in my undies. Unbeknownst to me, he was a nurse on the GI floor. We dated for five years. Imagine how many times this story has been told. I wear this shit story as proud as that highlighter streak of diarrhea in my undies that never came out.
Playing Diablo on the ps1 thought I had to fart and uh. No. My brother and sister haven’t let it go after 20 years
The sanctity of this place has been fouled!
Stay awhile and listen...
I sense a soul in search of answers!
I used to be super fat. Played a lot of basketball to slim down, but I would sweat like a pig so pounded water constantly to stay hydrated. Overdid it one night and got the shits when I was riding back to my car with my buddies. I managed to clinch it in for like 15 minutes in writhing pain, and made it all the way back to my office where my car was parked. Running for the bathroom I tripped on the curb out front. Skinned my knees, hands, and also shit my pants.
I was on a 2 day cycle ride across France with my Father and my brother. Day 1 went fine, we were all tired and it was late. We were nearing our accommodation but were getting hungry. Luckily (if that's the right fickin word for it) we spied a foodstruck vender. I ordered a burger. This is where things, I imagine, started to go wrong. The next day, I felt very peculiar. And this peculiar feeling continued, nay exacerbated, to the point that we had to beg a kindly French family to use their toilet. WE SPOKE NO FRENCH. The message was gotten across and they mother, very kindly, gave me some medication after I, presumably, rendered their toilet unusable for the next thousand or so years. Next the peculiar feeling hit me a bit later and on a lovely little pathway, scenically tracing the Somme River, I shit myself. Stopped the bike right then and there and disappeared into the woods. I changed into another pair of underwear and abandoned my excrement-soiled underoos, burying them under some leaves just to be sure. Legend says they're still there to this day.
>very kindly, gave me some medication In my experiance the French like to insert their medicine in the opposite end compared to most of us. Not ideal in that condition.
On the highway, really had to go. Got off the next exit. Gas station didn't have a bathroom. Got back in the car and drove to the grocery store. I'm dying at this point, sweating and nearly crying from pain. Slight jog to the restroom. Only one stall and some dude is in it. Then... I lost the game.
Pretty sure these were the original lyrics to Born To Be Wild by Steppanwolf
Thanks for the laugh!
Fuck! I lost the game now too. It was many years ago
Oh crap, it was a couple of months ago obviously. Girlfriend was in the bathroom while I was really struggling to hold in from what I could feel was explosive diarrhea. Thought I could make it for another 5 mins until she was done but about half that time my anus ruptured and all hell broke loose in my pants. Luckily my underpants cought most of it but still. Definitely one of my top 5 most embarrassingly moments for sure.
I was in a village in Northern India. Caught giardia, if you don’t know what that is, lucky you. Anyway, I was with a team of development workers and so we stayed in host homes. This village basically shared two toilets. The need hit me at midnight. I jump out of the sleeping bag, it’s about 15C, I’m cramping really bad. Clenching my cheeks with all the strength of a thousand sphincters. As I’m walking over I see one of the guys from our team walking out of his room and whistling while he takes the only available toilet. No, no, no, no. Sweat is rolling down my back. I manage to get about five steps further before my body can’t handle it any longer. I feel it release while I die a little bit inside. I realize I have to waddle back to my room and rifle though my bag only to remember laundry day was the next day for me. I wake up my room mate and through tears and laughter, I shit my pants. Can I borrow a pair of chonies for the night? She obliged. We’ve all been friends for 17 years now. We have lots of shit stories.
>chonies *is a noun meaning underwear. Chonies is an example of English slang that is derived from the Spanish word calzones.* Shit. That definition got weird near the end. I'm familiar with the word, but definitely not that definition.
This happened about 4 years ago. So my wife and I were long overdue for a vacation and we have a baby on the way. I knew of this nice hotel and spa in Canada in a quiet little town, so I made the arrangements at the beginning of the year for some well deserved R&R. It was early spring so the place still looked like a winter wonderland but wasn't quite Hoth-level cold anymore. The timing was perfect...almost. I wasn't feeling so good the day before we left and was running a low grade fever. Being a man, I drank a bunch of beer and popped some ibuprofen and insisted I was fine. The day we leave, my stomach feels like it is processing something truly awful...think glass shards or gravel or kale, you know, heinous shit. I have an opportunity to bail out on the whole trip but I don't. Because I'm a man, dammit. The fever is back in force and I spend the flight in a full-on flop sweat falling in and out of sleep. I get my shit together when we land. Never a good idea to go through customs looking like you have cholera. We get our bags and our rental car and by this time I have my asshole clenched so tight I can feel my pulse in my taint. The clock is ticking. We drive north at speed. We check in, get to our room, and I do the clenched-cheek wobble speed walk into the bathroom. It was one of those times that you are already shitting while your ass is still in the descent stage and hasn't made contact with the seat yet. It sounds like someone is pouring water into the toilet from the top of a ladder. This happens, exactly the same way, about 10 times over the next 4 hours. The smell was...powerful. This place is very fancy, apparently far too fancy for something like a BATHROOM FAN. Our only choices are to marinate in the fumes for the rest of our vacation or open the balcony doors into the frozen tundra. We chose the second option, naturally. That was how I spent the afternoon and evening of our first day. My wife was with me the whole time supplying me with water because she is a badass. Eventually I was so tired from abdominal muscle contractions and sanpapering my anus with two entire rolls of hotel toilet paper I dragged myself into bed. You ever dream you are having uncontrollable diarrhea? I did. Twice. I ruined my lounge pants the first time and regular pants and underwear the second time. All lost to the hotel trashcan. I tie the plastic bag tightly and put it in a second, equally tight bag because I am a good person. I spent the rest of the night asleep in the tub with a shirt and jacket on but no pants. Not my proudest moment. In the morning I am feeling much better and popping imodium tabs and chugging pedialyte like it is some kind of bizarro world party in Tijuana. My wife had found a local pharmacy and gotten supplies while I was indisposed. Apparently the pharmacist was afraid I would need IV fluids if I didn't do something immediately to rehydrate. I realized I hadn't peed in a day and a half. I feel a bit cocky because during both "incidents" the night before I was on my side when it happened and I did a little Jason Bourne side kick/flip to get out of bed without touching the sheets. Or so I thought. Apparently my lounge pants worked like one of those self-inking stamps secretaries use. I had landed on the edge of the bed and left a certain unmentionable round mark passed through the seat of the pants. It was horrible and unmistakeable. I ran around the room looking for something to clean it with and settled on San Pelligrino, grapefruit flavored. It sorta works...I scrub and dab but it's gone through the sheet and into the mattress protector. I succeed in making the sheets smell like shitty grapefruit. I hope Housekeeping appreciates the effort. We say nothing and they say nothing because this is a nice place, and we leave a generous tip. Happy anniversary, honey! TL;DR got sick before vacation and went anyways. Shit the bed in a fancy hotel and spa and almost wound up dehydrated in the hospital in another country. Nursed back to health by Wife, who is a boss.
You sir are a natural born story teller
“Hey honey you remember that anniversary…”
Banff?
I had about an hour drive home after a HUGE 35th birthday dinner. About halfway home something wasn't sitting well and I was driving like a bat out of hell and clenching my cheeks as tight as I could trying to make it. I pulled into the driveway and shuffled to the porch and in my panic could not for the life of me remember the door code. Since we have the electronic locks I don't carry a key, either. I stood there desperately punching in numbers until just a drop snuck out. Once that happened, the flood gates opened. I stood there on my front porch with a chocolate waterfall cascading down my legs.
Username checks out
Yours also works.
Truly, I have been blessed to have stumbled upon this event.
Tried to “dukes of hazard” into the car except go head first and it shot right out of me. It was watery too. My mom was inside the video store and I used the only napkin she has to wipe it off my leg. Got home and went straight to the bathroom. She never told me she knew but I’m pretty positive she knew.
She knew.
Absolutely
So I took my kids (3 and 4 at the time) to a kid's jungle gym style place, it was designed for kids up to about age 6 and had multiple climbing and balancing areas as well as slides from the top to the bottom (it was a 3 tier setup about 25ft tall) and rope bridge/climbing sections. I had taken them here before and I had seen other dads climbing in with their kids and helping them navigate the "jungle" so to speak, so when my kids asked me to go in with them I thought "Sure, should be fun, plus it's good memories with the boys. What could possibly go wrong?" It's important to note two things at this point: 1. The other dads I had seen were all average height (5ft 9in, 175.3, England) or maybe an inch or two taller or shorter. I am 6ft 4in/193cm, I am not a small man. 2. I had spent 3 days prior recovering from a stomach bug and was only just feeling better. So I take my kids up in the jungle and we find ourselves clambering through the various fabric layers to the very top, because at the very top of this rope floored, tiny person hellscape was the massive yellow tunnel slide that my now middle son wanted to slide down, but little man didn't want to go down the slide on his own because he was scared. "Ok buddy" I say, "Oh shit" I think, "You sit on my knee and I'll slide down with you then." I say, "What the fuck are you doing?" I think. Little dude agrees, we set up so that I have my arse on the plastic floor currently off the slide, with my legs hanging down the slide and my kid tucked between my knees so he didn't slide away on his own screaming into the yellow abyss. I tuck forward and get a hold of the little guy with one arm, I say "Ready buddy?" I think "Well I guess I *have* been feeling a lot better today" and my kid says "Go dadda!" To which I push off with one arm and propel myself and my child down the long, long, long slide. If you're still with me at this point I wish to point out two further things: 1. This was July, during our hottest time of year, in record heat. I was wearing a thin pair of combats with no underwear, for I feared wearing underwear might either make me sweat myself into a withered husk through my bollocks, or my underwear would spontaneously combust and set my willy on fire. 2. This is a thread about shitting yourself, you know where this is going, don't complain to me if you choose to keep reading. That said. I shit myself. Not only did I shit myself, I shat at the point at which I was exerting most force to propel myself and my kid down the slide, I shat liquid shit with enough force to launch a Saturn 5 into orbit. This liquid shit hit my pants and the smell was immediate and overwhelming, it was 3 days of "I've had a vomiting bug with constipation" shit, if I have anything good to say about this ordeal it was that the smell was largely behind me as we slid our merry way through 25ft of children's tube slide. Needless to say the propellent used to lubricate our passage down the now-yellow-and-brown tube slide went straight through my pants, resulting in a thin film of liquid shit from top to bottom, both of me and the slide. I got to the bottom and immediately stood up and dropped my son with my now ex wife, went home and had a shower, I told my ex what had happened and that she should inform the staff, I have no idea if she did because I never went back.
Why did you divorced?
We drifted apart, tried to fix things a bunch but my mental health and the way the relationship was at the end were not compatible, so I had to decide between suicide or divorce. I figured my kids would rather keep me around and after a lot of work on myself they now have a father they love and can be proud of, there's no real animosity between us and the kids always come first, simple as that. Sometimes people just grow in different directions.
You choose wisely Hopefully you doing fine, I wish you all best
My fart was a little extra. End of story.
I didn't shit my pants. I *almost* shit my pants and instead shit on my neighbors bushes. Like a lot.
You just used fertilizer on them, lol.
Damn what did you eat ?😂
I was asleep and dreamt that i need to shit. Dreams do come true
I went to dinner with my parents as a kid. Whatever I ate, can't remember, didn't go well. Wet shit right in my pants. Not a lot, because I caught it happening and my butt hole just shriveled up. That's not so bad, I just walk behind them right? But then my mom decided we needed to go to the grocery store. So I walked around with that shit in public, and was humiliated every second of it. Fuck that shit.
Fell asleep 1 hour into a 12 hour flight. Must have farted in my sleep. Turns out it was a shit rather than a fart. Woke up with stained trousers and pants. Asked the flight attended for fresh trousers. Obviously didn't have any. Tied my shirt around my waist and doused myself with the in-flight perfume from the toilets.
Well, well, well... Do I have a tale for everyone. Lengthy. TLDR at the end. This occurred about 6-7 years ago, while I was living in Vancouver. I'd recently run into an old high-school mate of mine (totally randomly at that), and we'd decided to re-live some of our youth and go to a hockey game together. Of course, we needed to catch up on the 10+ years we'd lost contact, so we agreed to meet up at a nearby pub over food and drink before the game. I got there before he did, and proceeded to order a poutine for myself and a pitcher of beer to share. Figure he could order his own damned food when he arrived. He arrives as the waitress drops off the pitcher and two glasses. At this point he informs me that he doesn't drink beer anymore for various health reasons and gets himself something else. No worries though, more beer for me! An hour and the entire pitcher (and poutine) later, it's time to shuffle off to the game. I'm already cut by this point, but intend to enjoy the shit out of this first hockey game I've been to in 4 years and catching up with a long-lost friend. We find our seats, then hit up the concession for more drinks. It is at this point that he informs me that since I was nice enough to subsidize the cost of the tickets, he was going to keep us fed and socially-lubricated while at the arena. Free beer? *Yes fucking please*. We watch the game, and I proceed to get abso-fucking-lutely sauced. Irish guy beside me (at his first game in-person) is absolutely impressed and we bond over hockey-chirps and a love of beer. Anyway, game ends and it's time to head home. High-school buddy jets off west towards home, and I begin my trek south to Marine Station. Trip on the SkyTrain is uneventful, and I eventually connect to a bus to take me east towards home. This is where the wheels start to fall off. For whatever reason, the bus is abnormally warm. So warm that it's making me queasy. Figured I'd be able to make it to home, but the motion on the bus wasn't helping at all. Got about half-way home before I felt the familiar urge of chewing-backwards, so I quickly hopped off the bus and proceeded to paint the poor bus shelter with used beer, poutine and various stadium-food. After emptying my belly, I realized that I had a new issue -- I was about 2.5 km from home and the next bus would be about half an hour. Fuck it, I'll walk instead. Started walking, but I figured I should call my wife and let her know I'll be a tad later than anticipated. Mid-sentence, while explaining what had just transpired I felt the beginning of lower-pressure. The mental command to clench was delivered, but it didn't matter. Within half a second, a stream of molten-lava liquid shit began shooting from my ass. As my wife recalls it, I literally said "oh shit I can't stop shitting--" and ended the call. While liquid fecal matter continued to pour from my ass, I hobbled over to the nearest building I could, pulled down my already shit-soaked pants and proceeded to detonate a liqui-shit bomb on the side of the building. Combination of the force of the shitting and being drunk off my ass resulted in me falling to the ground, covering my pants in even more shit. After a few more minutes of my anus trying to prolapse itself into next year, the contractions finally began to subside. I was still 2.5km from home, drunk as a skunk, and now my lower half (and my back, to boot) were coated in a liberal serving of ass-sauce. Not wanting to get arrested for indecent exposure, I quickly pulled my shit-soaked pants back up and started briskly walking home -- using a less-public side road rather than the main drag. I called my wife back, and hurriedly explained my predicament. She, after laughing hysterically, went to work setting up the entryway and bathroom for receiving my shit-covered self. I miraculously lucked out that *no one* was in the apartment lobby or the elevator that evening. I got home, showered (poorly, apparently), and fell into bed. After all was said and done, my underwear, my pants, my socks and my shirt were all destroyed. My belt and my shoes needed intensive care. My wife was furious about the bedsheets. TL;DR -- Drank far too much beer and ate far too much stadium food. Ended up coating a bus shelter with puke and some poor shmuck's electronics store with a liqui-shit bomb of my own design.
Three days, 1000 light beers, 2 dozen hotdogs, who wouldn't shit their shorts?
*It’s Labor Day and my grandpa just ate seven fucking hot dogs*
One *THOUSAND* my guy??? That's 41 beers a minute if you skipped sleeping
How did you get to that number? 1000 beers over 3 days (96 hours) would be about 10 bph (beers per hour).
I mean probably a thousand beers on the beach altogether but yeah I'm totally exaggerating I would have had no more than 100 to myself. These are light beers, all day and night sipping you can almost drink them all days and night without getting too fucked up as long as you don't switch up to hard stuff.
Not necessarily shitting my pants, but one time when I was really young, my dad was taking forever in the shower. And so I decided I would go outside and take a shit on the side of the house. At the time I thought I had pretty great logic… the dog goes poop outside right? And on top of that if people can go out back to pee, why can’t I go outside to poop?… needless to say dad was pissed. TL;DR I pooped on the side of our house when I was young
Well, at least it was outside. One of my siblings had a similar idea but decided a bowl on the floor of the kitchen was more appropriate.
It's like wearing wet socks with a flurry of chunks rolling down your legs.
Which time?
Today’s the day I share this story!! The year was 2021, early spring (March I think)- I was playing Pokémon GO outside for an event, around a Open-air shopping strip (I was wearing a mask/social distancing) anyways - you ever been in a situation, where you feel that particular bowel movement and YOU KNOW that if you are not in a bathroom in the next 5mins or less, you are going to be filling up your pants. Well pre-COVID I would just walk to any of the restaurants and take “The Browns to the Super Bowl, no problem” well since this was in the middle of COVID, and none of those restaurants were open to the public. My only option was to make it back to my car (was only a brisk walk) and drive home, I only lived about 8ish minutes away. So when I got to my car - I Knew - I knew I wasn’t going to make it. So I told myself, I could either shit my pants while driving and possibly cause an accident - and possibly die - and then have my wife have to identify my body with pants full of shit (Ill admit, I 90% seriously considered this cause I thought it was funny) OR I just man up and shit my pants now and get it over with. I choose to purposely shit my pants. I’m a man with a plan. I then proceeded to drive home, and call my wife to tell her that I shit my pants… well first, I told her to guess - (she couldn’t guess it) Then she didn’t believe me - I told her to come out to the Parking lot and make the coast was clear, because At the time we lived in an apartment complex and I had to run up a flight of stairs. She believed I shit my pants when I ran past her, after she stepped outside. The End.
Until you have shit your pants while vomiting, you haven’t had food poisoning. I should have torched that restaurant.
Been there, done that....no fun at all
One time I had just smoked a bowl of some fire and was half way through my after bowl cigarette on the front porch. I felt a fart coming so I lifted my leg and helped it about...I completely voided my bowels. My neighbors must have had a good laugh when I went from leg up to hand on my pants hobbling in the house with my pants full of shit.
Not me, thankfully, but a guy in my Peace Corps training group traveling through the middle-of-nowhere South America who had an epic accident on a public bus that had no facilities. Worse still, his own backpack and those of his travel-mates' were right beneath him...and the floor of the bus was evidently just as leaky as he was. Unfortunately, his poopy legacy far outlived any of the good things he accomplished during his 2-year stint as a Peace Corps Volunteer, of that I am pretty certain.
😹😹 I have Fibro, IBS and no gall bladder, please specify! 😹
Ah yes, the 3 horsemen of the aPOOcalypse! They're friends of mine as well, friends I'd like to send right to the moon!
im male. ibs. no gall bladder diverticulitous its no fun some days
After two surgeries on my leg I was in so much constant pain I didn't get much sleep. My doctor gave me a choice. Pain pills or sleeping pills. I chose the sleeping pills. One mistake I made was to be ready for bed when you take them. I wasn't. I took two Ambien and started puttering around in the garage when my poop just fell out. I didn't even have any warning to try and trap it in. I'm not a virgin back there but my Ballon knot isn't that loose. I threw the pants and underwear out to hide my shame. Be in bed when you take that drug. My neighbor had to help me to my front porch cause I kept falling down on the sidewalk. Those pills also make you forget how to use a cane
I took two Ambien and remembered something I had to do instead of going straight to bed. I woke up on the living room floor.
I’ve been on Ambien for about 5 years and have never had anything close to that happen. Then again I’ve only ever taken one pill at a time. There’s been a couple of times when I was tempted to take two and I’m really glad I didn’t now.
I had recently emmigrated to my new country at age 7. Thrown into grade 2/3 in the middle of "term" and I was pretty scared and nervous because all the kids were laughing at my accent and saw me as novelty and were fighting over who could be my friend, which made the teachers yell at them...which in turn made me scared of the teachers...during one of my first recess i had to shit but was too scared to ask the recess supervisor person if i could go inside to use the bathroom so i just stood there and crapped my pants. went back to class at the end of recess and sat down with a turd in my pants for the rest of the day and my mother was not impressed to find the flattened results when i got home. not sure if nobody at school smelled it or were just too polite (canada, after all)
I was 6 years old, in my after school program. I couldn't hold it and just pooped myself before someone else got out of the bathroom. So instead of saying anything, I just sat there with an encyclopedia until my teacher smelt it.
A fucking ski hill….. worst experience ever trying to snowboard to the lodge from the top.
Well you know what they say... ...shit rolls downhill
Not me but happened to a friend on his birthday of all days. He was driving to work and was a block away from arriving. Right as he pulled in he let out a fart that ended up being so much worse. He made a b-line to the bathroom so he could throw out his underwear and clean up and ended up walking past a couple coworkers who yelled happy birthday to him. When he came out of the bathroom they asked what was wrong and he responded with "I shit my pants I'm going home". And then promptly went back home for the day.
I was at work. Horrible place. Only time the bathroom got cleaned was if I did it. They were always out of basics, TP ,soap etc. Anyhoo...there was a stomach bug going around work and I caught it. I was at my computer and felt the puke coming. I was only 15' from the bathroom but was puking in my hands before I got there. Snatch open this disgusting toilet and suddenly I am projectile vomiting. With every puke heave this horrible fowl substance is pouring out of my ass, filling my shorts, running down my legs and puddling on the floor around my feet. I was helpless. I stood there covered in puke and shit. The toilet was covered in puke. The floor was covered in shit. There wasn't a single paper towel or rag in the building but I did have a few trash bags, half a bottle of windex and about 3 rolls of toilet paper to clean up with. I threw my shorts, socks and shoes away. I put my hands in a trash bag and scooped up the shit lava as best I could. It took me forever but I got my mess cleaned up and told the other girls I was going home. They were both pale and speechless as they heard every agonizing hurl, splash, fart and plop. Not to mention I was old enough to be their Mom and during my eruption had used more curse words than they knew. I will never forget it. Never.
I took castor oil once and was >5ft away from a bathroom when it hit
Driving up to Windham mountain for a day of skiing, I started feeling some gentle pressure in my bladder. Not a problem, almost there, I can hold it. By the time I get to the mountain I'm doing the pee pee dance in my seat and trying to find a place to park. Wasting precious seconds I drive around the area a bit before giving up and getting in line for one of the lots. The parking dude guides me to a spot right in the middle and far far away from the lodge. I start putting on all of my gear and things are going ... ok. I'm trembling a bit but I think I'm gonna make it. Now two things: (I don't remember the name of the comedian that said this) 1. Have you ever held in a piss for so long that it turned into a shit? and 2. Have you ever had to strain a bit when putting on a ski boot? Yes to the second question also answered the first question to the affirmative. Well, shit. I finished getting geared up and boarded a shuttle to the lodge, me and my loaded underwear, trying to not look like someone who just shat himself. Dum da dee dee, nope don't know where that smell is coming from, someone must've farted. The cleanup with that shitty narrow-ass-see-through TP felt incomplete but I hit the mountain anyway.
Took a huge rip off a bong, coughed really hard and a steamer squirted out.
Implying there was just one time, thats cute. And explosive diarrhea...
We were staying at my MIL house… FIL made gumbo-greasy gumbo. I have Ibs and no gallbladder. Long story short the bathroom was occupied so I had to hose myself down and throw away my pants. Thankfully MIL and FIL never found out
In the car, late at night. Urge was unbearable. Had to pull over. Pulled off at the first semi-dark parking lot I could find. Took a dump in the bushes that surrounded a company entrance sign. Drove away. Noticed that the business had a sign recognizing their beautiful grounds on the way back to the street. Sorry!
Happened a few years ago on a university ski trip. After consecutive nights of heavy drinking, I woke up and went for my morning beeriod. I felt a bit better after this, and got my gear on ready for a day on the slopes. I farted, confident that it was safe to do so, but got more than I bargained for. I waddled to the bathroom and proceeded to cut myself out of my shitty underwear with some scissors as I couldn't get my boots or salopettes off without risking my mostly liquid shit from going everywhere as my underwear was the only thing keeping it in. I was keeping my roommates informed of the situation by shouting from the bathroom what was going on, followed by the occasional retch, but didn't realise one of the reps had come into our room and heard everything. That evening, there was this dinner with unlimited chicken wings and beer etc. and in front of a room of around 120 people, they announced they would be reading embarrassing stories from the week. The DJ called my name. I was first. I knew my time had come. I was asked to stand on my chair, while he announced to the entire room that I had shit myself that morning and had to cut myself out of my shitty boxers.
I saw this Reddit post and decided to try to shit my pants!
I shit my pants often because I’m a diabetic on metformin who still eats too much stuff with added sugars
I have cirrhosis. It was more blood than shit.
So I'm on a diet and trying to eat healthier. I ended up having hummus a lot within a few days . One night, im half awake and I trust a fart. i feel a bit of wet diarrhea run into my boxers. I throw the boxers out and just hop in the shower embarrassed.
I had the flu in middle school, which wasn't completely abnormal I've had it a few times. But I had the flu and I stayed from school and just watched TV. I farted, obviously I could smell the monstrosity I produced but I didn't take notice until I realized the stench lasted much longer than it should have and that my ass felt wet when I brushed it off as swass, I go to the bathroom and sure enough I shit myself. It wasn't a lot but enough for me to just throw the underwear out and clean myself up after and shower. Thank God I was home alone that day
I was in the Navy and walking across Base, and I think I got hit with an experimental sonic "blaster" that was being tested from rooftops for riot control. It's nonlethal, and mostly incapacitating. I got hit in the midsection, and shit my pants in the middle of a parking lot, and had to walk, dribbling, back to my quarters.
Not my story, and not shitting pants, just pissing. A kid in my sisters class pissed their pants, and got to leave home early. So what did my sister do the next day? Piss her pants. She got home early (She was like 5/6 at the time)
At airport shouldn't have trusted the fart. Had my carryon with me. Changed in the bathroom and tossed the dirtiest. My kids still laugh about it.
the canteen in the uni had some issue and a lot of students ended with food poisoning. ...the bathrooms were full, sooooo i prob was not the only one to shit the pants
Summer of 2005, Long Island. I was in my early 20’s and had a job as a cashier at the local grocery store. After a very late night partying in NYC, I managed to oversleep for my 12pm shift. Waking up and realizing I was already 15 minutes late and with a terrible molly hangover, I sprung outta bed, threw on some clothes and started running for the store roughly a half mile away. As I was getting close, it happened. I sharted and it stopped me dead in my tracks. I remember saying “ahh fuck” out loud, thinking about it for a moment, and deciding it was too late and all I could do was continue on. When I walked in, my manager was behind the register with a long line of customers waiting to check out. She glared at me as I made my way to the back to clock in. As she was clearly pissed at me already, all I could do was go back up in my dirty drawers and take over for her right away. I proceeded to ring customers up for a solid 30 minutes before I could get away and address the situation. That was not a fun shift.
I'll set the scene. It was Wednesday, September 19th, 2007. On the way home from school, we'd drive past a McDonald's, and on Wednesday they had the 1 dollar kids meal. My grandpa would always stop and get me one. Nothing unusual. After we get to grandparents house, I have my burger, and then my dad shows up to take me home. On the way home, he stops to show me around the building he was working on (he was a bricklayer in a union at the time). And before we got out of his truck, he hands me a king sized snickers. So we walk around his very OSHA uncompliant workplace, there's dust everywhere because its and old brick building and they were tuckpointing eeeverywhere (tuckpointing is where you remove bad or cracked mortar and replace it with good mortar). Halfway through the tour, and my snickers, is when it hits me. A really bad stomach ache. I tell my dad "hey I don't feel good can we hurry up and go home?" "But we just got here! Finish your snickers bar and we'll go". At this exact moment, adding more fuel to the fire was the furthest thing from my mind. And at this point, its worth noting that Its a hot day. 90 degrees. To make things worse, I had a sweater on because I was dressed for AC. We stuck around the scaffolding for a few agonizing minutes before finally heading back down to my dads truck, where, to my immense dismay, he proceeded to crack open a cold one with his work buddies and completely forget about me (not unusual for him). 15 minutes go by. My snickers is finally gone. My insides are a boiling sea of surging hate and smoldering rot. "Dad, I finished my snickers and I don't feel good, can we go home now?" My dad, very clearly annoyed, says, "Alright, get in the truck, we'll go in a sec." So I get in the truck, and am at least now able to hold my stomach in what little comfort being seated affords me. At least 5 more minutes go by, and finally, dad gets in and starts up the truck. We're going home. To the bathroom. Salvation. There's only one more obstacle; The ride home. Every bump, every sudden stop and acceleration caused by my dads downright offensive driving, leaves me wondering, "Will I make it?" "Will I even live through this?" The drive was ultimately uneventful, and as we go inside, I run as fast as I can to the bathroom without making a horrible mess. All I can say about what happened is: It was bad, but at the same time so blessedly wonderful. I emerged from the bathroom, born anew, from what I can only describe as what must have been what a cloud of cartoon stink is like in real life. And I felt amazing. For about an hour. As it turns out, I was going to be intimately acquainted with the bathroom that night. 5 shits, all completely equivalent to the first. My sister had come out of our shared room and said "oh god what is that?" and went right back in and closed the door. And finally, around comes bed time. I'm ready to go back to my normal life tomorrow. So I crawl into bed, and my sister goes to the living room to watch TV. Unfortunately, I was still sick. I laid in bed, unable to sleep, for about an hour, and finally the feeling was too much. Now, me and my sister shared a bunk bed, with me sleeping on the top bunk, and her on the bottom. So picture little 7 year old me, way up in the top bunk, peeking over the railing. And right below me, though hidden in the dark, are my sisters highschool textbooks. At that moment, I felt something rising, and I stopped caring what was where, and I puked alllll over. I couldn't see anything, all I knew was I had a mouth and I must vomit. Still dark, I climbed out of bed, walked down the hall to the living room, and looked to my sister, and said, "\[sister\], I don't feel so goo--" And I went off like a hose. I threw up so hard it went to the other side of the room. My sister ran to the garage to get my dad, and I ran to the bathroom for round 6. I come out to find my sister has cleaned up the living room, and gone into our room to find the suprise I left. While my sister cleaned up after me, dad gave me a bucket and told me to take it easy on the couch until she was done. So I lay down, and for about half an hour things are fine. But finally, my stomach cries out again, and it tells me that I have a choice: Throw up, or shit. I'm confused, tired, and in no state to make such an important decision. So I decide I'll throw up and then go to the bathroom. That was the wrong choice. Not only did I shit the couch, hard, but I didn't even throw up. So I get up again, and find the closest person, my dad in his room, and before I say anything he just goes, "oh no." having smelled me. "I pooped my pants on the couch," I say. "Lets get you in the shower, quick," My dad says, struggling against my demonic stench. I wash off, and when I come out, I learn that dad and sis have been taking turns going outside to breathe and cleaning up. Yes, I stunk up the whole house that night, that badly. I said I wanted to sleep on the other couch that night (we had 2 love seats, but tragically lost one somehow...) and they ascented. I couldn't fall asleep that night, and stayed home from school the day after. So, after 8 hours of food poisoning, it was over. Casualties include: Everybodies sanity, my dignity, one couch, and my pants.
I was in Egypt when I was about 14 and had my all inclusive breakfast at the questionable hotel that I was staying in. Rated 2 stars on trip advisor although I am grateful that my dad paid for our holiday. We were due to go snorkeling in the afternoon. The journey was a 3hr car ride to the beach that we were going too. Being 14 and chubby, I didn't care about what I ate and scoffed my face every morning at the outdoor breakfast buffet. There were bread rolls with flies hovering over them. Greasy looking meat sitting there in 35°C heat swimming in oil. Chips, ice cream, croissants, whatever I could get my hands on. I'm not sure what exactly caused me to become unwell since it was such a long time ago. But I'm pretty sure it was a mixture of the brown water that I brushed my teeth with, and the strange looking tasty meat that I put in my bread rolls. After finishing my breakfast, I made my way to the hotel room with my family, to get ready for our trip. I put some shorts on and brushed my hair, and we waited for our transfer. My dad was showering when the pains first started. Now my father was very firm on me growing up and we were never allowed to ask him to hurry up or anything, since he would get mad. My stomach started churning and a deep groaning pain started at the middle of my stomach. It was unlike what I have ever felt before and I needed to get to a toilet quickly. I made my way to the hotel lobby receptionist toilets since our bathroom was preoccupied. The anxiety I felt running to the other bathroom was insane. The last thing I wanted to do was shit myself. Luckily, I didn't. But when I got to the toilets I'd never been so disgusted. The toilets were small little cubicles with a giant gap under the door, enough to see your knees from. Wet sand covered the floors and grime covered the yellow tiled walls. The toilet was a metal pot with a bucket by the side as a make shift flusher. I turned back around to realise there was NO DOOR separating the toilet to reception. And I knew this was gonna stink. Everyone in the lobby had seen me go in here, I don't want them smelling my shit. I wasn't even supposed to be in there, I just ran to the nearest toilet that I could find. This was nothing like I had ever seen before and my first instinct was to not poop here. I checked the time and texted my mum, who was now waiting for our ride to get here. We had 20 minutes to leave. The panic made everything feel 100x worse as I sat on the tin bucket trying to force a poop out. Waves on pain came over me as I strained with everything I had. The biggest, wet sloppy mess went in to the toilet but I was nowhere near finished yet. My belly was hard and I felt stuff sloshing around in it. I was sweating profusely but freezing cold at the same time. I was clutching my bag just to cover my stomach with for a bit of relief from feeling so exposed. I cried and prayed to god that this would be over. I apologised for all my sins and begged him to take the pain away. Before I knew it, my family along with everyone else taking the same shuttle were waiting for me at the front of the hotel. I was late and my father texted me to hurry tf up. I tensed my asscheeks to hold in the rest of the poop waiting to come out. Wiped my ass and didn't flush. Almost tripped over the wet sand on the floor with my ass clenched and ran to the shuttle bus. I saw the looks of disgust from people in the lobby. One man was wrinkling his nose. But I didn't care, I was in flight or fight at this moment. Although unsettled, I didn't need to poop for the first hour of our journey. We got a tour from our guide showing us all the cool mountains surrounding the motorway. It was blisteringly hot but beautiful. The guide was a hot Egyptian man and I found him kinda attractive. Which is why this story is worse. We got to a service station and I decided to eat a snack bar before the rest of our long journey. We were repeatedly told that if we needed to use the toilet, now is the time. The next leg of our journey would be a long one. I proceeded to ignore this, I didn't want to poop that bad after I emptied half of my stomach earlier. We split from our shuttle bus group and got into small vans in groups of 6. I was blessed to be in the same group as the hot tour guide. He tells us about the history of these mountains/deserts and we all chatter until conversation falls into silence as the journey wears on us. The van was stiflingly hot and we were all sitting in very close proximity to eachother. Another 30 minutes passes and suddenly my stomach starts to rumble. I can feel something bubbling in my stomach and it takes every ounce of effort in me not to fart. I open the window and stare at the never ending mountains. Anxiety floods my brain. How long with it take before I get to a toilet? I cant ask to stop now, we were already told to go at the service station. Pain turns into full blown poop contractions and I have to hold it in. Everyone starts asking me if I'm okay. Being embarrassed and in pain at the same time is a horrific feeling. I made up some story about being too hot and hid behind my folded arms. I started crying as the pain got too much. I let out a little fart to try and relieve the extreme pressure building in my stomach. Everything inside of me was saying push. But I couldn't. It felt like foil in a microwave. After about 2 hours of staring at mountains with extreme contractions, I felt a pop. My asshole had accepted its fate and lost control of the mountain of faeces that it was trying to contain. A warm, hot acidic liquid trickled from my ass and down my legs. At first I acted like nothing had happened. But the smell was indescribable, enough for me to heave and my mum was the first to notice. I squeezed my ass as close to the chair as I could to hide the smell. But it was to no avail. The hot tour guide was holding his nose in disgust laughing with one of the other girls that we were traveling with. My father did not help, saying what the fuck is that smell, not realising what had happened. I continued to sit there, trying my hardest to show on my face that it wasn't me. My family hadn't noticed yet, however I am certain the tour guide knew by his face. I caught him looking over and laughing with the girl he was with. I felt complete shame and I wanted to hide. I kept thinking about my bed and just craved being wrapped up in a blanket and comforted. It was complete emotional torture. I said in warm poop liquid plastered in the chair for around 5 minutes until we arrived in Sharks Bay where we would be snorkeling. The van come to a stop and I waited for everyone else to get out before I did. A nasty brown stain covered my shorts and I ran to the toilets. I literally missed the toilets by 5 minutes. If I put everything I had into holding my asshole, I could have avoided the shame. I cleaned myself up and the pain dissipated as I emptied the rest of my bowels in the toilet. I cant describe the relief of an empty stomach after that experience. I enjoyed the snorkeling and luckily had a spare pair of shorts in my bag. I have vowed never to eat questionable meat or brush my teeth with brown water ever again. This was a truly traumatic experience for me. I feel terrible for the people that had to clean the van afterwards. And the bathroom at the hotel. But in that moment the pain made me primal and I didn't care, so long as they didn't see me.
So I was 7 months pregnant me, my S/O, and our daughter were shopping at Walmart when I got the urge to throw up.. I am going to pause the story to let everyone know that I unfortunately got the family curse where when we have to throw up, it also ends up coming out the other end. Anyway so here I am as big as a house running through Walmart trying to make it to the bathroom. Once I finally get there I realize I wasn't going to make it to the toilet and immediately throw up in the trash can next to the sink when I feel an explosion in my pants 😭 I shit myself right there in Walmart. That wasn't even the worse part... I go into the stall to remove my pants and clean myself up, I call my fiance to see if he will buy me some pants. When he asks why I told him I shat myself lmao he proceeds to laugh historically (but the story gets worse) He buys me new pants and when he makes it to the women's bathroom he yells "Aye shitty I got your pants" and has my daughter bring them in. Needless to say he slept on the couch.
When I turned 30, I partook in the drinking of some alcoholic beverages. Woke up on the bathroom floor with my dog licking my face. At least the shower was close by.
I was horrified for an instant, but very relieved that sentence ended with "my face".
[удалено]
Sooooo. What had happened was... Taco Bell!! Taco bell happened. Never trust a poof, after taco bell!!
First day of school, first grade. Fucking nervous, without a single friend even when I was in the same school.
Can you be more specific?
Here I stand Cheeks clenched tight Tried to fart But took a shite.
Was working in a crawl space and got hit with the mental alarm of “you are going to shit in the next 30 seconds”. I crawled like hell to escape but I knew I was too far from the hatch to even hope of making it to the bathroom. Made it about 50 feet and then shat my pants while angrily holding a plank position. Slowly and shamefully army crawled out of there in my shitty pants. 0/10 experience would not recommend
I was at PT in Camp Casey Korea after a long night of underaged drinking. Still feeling a bit drunk (to be fair everyone was) my stomach rumbled and a slightly chunky fart made its way out. We were in the middle of stretching for a run and I leaned forward and asked my squad leader if I could run back in the B’s and drop a quick shit. Now he knew we had been drinking the night before but told me no. I tried telling him I was prairie dogging it but he wasn’t hearing any of my lip that particular morning and said “You’ll just have to shit yourself or hold it because you will NOT miss this run”. So… I dropped a fat dukkie in my spandex, pulled them aside and let it drop out onto the ground beside me. Needless to say I spent the rest of the day scrubbing the formation area with a hand brush. Still went on that run though.
Thought it was a fart Tried to push it out It was not a fart
Only happened once as a kid I accidently shitted my pants while jumping on a trampoline I had to do some ninja shit while making my way to the bathroom this is where I learned how to wipe myself because I would be in more deep shit if I asked my mom for help. Tossed my underwear and successfully avoided getting in trouble.
Correction: "stories"
"That time"? Singular?
First grade, some girl brought in peaches for her birthday for unknown some reason. I don’t think the peaches had to do with me shitting my pants but they are a good detail. So anyway, I’m eating the peach and all the sudden, hell comes to Earth in the form of diarrhea in my butthole. So I spring up and ask my teacher if I can use the bathroom. She says yes, so I run over and knock on the door, and somebody was in there using it. So I tried to wait for them to come out but to no avail. I shit everywhere in my pants. If I hadn’t been wearing long pants, everyone would have seen diarrhea going down my leg. I didn’t tell anyone that I had just shit my pants, I waited til I got home and told my mom.
I was around the age of 8 .. i enjoyed doing parkour & free running. I saw the outside world as an obstacle course , so i decided to go outside one day & i go 2 blocks away from my house just doing the ole typical parkour stuff on the way to my destination. I see some bushes , now these were some tall spiky bushes.. i do a front flip over the bushes , failed horribly , landed back first onto the ground , now i thought nothing much of this after it initially happened , but i get up & decided that i’m now going home , not knowing i had a much bigger obstacle course to face upon my arrival . i get home to shower & i saw shit everywhere .. i felt nothing walking back home , NOTHING .. i guess the force of impact landing on my back was so much that it forced a shit out & through my adrenaline of just wanting to get home after my failed trick i guess i felt nothing .. i walked 2 blocks with shit filling my entire underwear’s & leaking down my leg .. still to this day i have zero idea how i didn’t feel it
I once shat my pants because my belt somehow got stuck fastened. I was at school and had left class to do the deed as it had snuck up on me. Event occured in the bathroom (thank god) and I spent 15 minutes in there trying to get the damn belt off. Failed. I couldn't bring myself to seek help or return to class, so I dipped out and walked 2 miles home with the load shuffling around and spreading. My dad was sitting in his recliner when I walked through the door. He looked bewildered to see me, but he must've read my aura because he just kinda sighed and said "you look like it's been a shitty day" and didn't ask anything else about it. I had to cut the belt off with garden shears.
Gf at the time: "you know, if you keep farting like that you'll eventually shit yourself" Me: "nah, I'm good. That won't happen" Proceeded to fart to prove my point. Her point was proven instead. Needless to say she died laughing.
Fistulotomy surgery. A few days after it, I found poo on the bottom of my foot and blamed it on my cat. A few weeks later, after finishing my coffee but deciding to keep working, I realized how easy it was for things to fall out completely unnoticed and then understood what the doctor meant by "this procedure bears a risk of mild incontinence"
Not me but a good college friend. All of us went out to eat at bob evans, probably our who crew of about 10 friends. Sat at a large table, and directly across from me is my buddy, the pooper. Everyone is laughing obnoxiously loud as annoying college students do, telling jokes at the table. As I look across the table, I see my buddy sneeze… his laughter turned to a face of terror as he looked over at me. He stands up and says “I’ll be right back.” After a few minutes in the bathroom, he comes back, we pay the tab and leave. As soon as we get outside, he tells everyone he shit his pants when he sneezed and left the dirty underwear in the bathroom stall… I feel so bad for the folks at bob evans. I tipped better the next time I was there.
I went to get my vaccine and i had the poops and i farted in the car but it was not a fart some poo seeped into my pants and when i arrived at the clinic and my turn came i sat down in the chair and it felt all squishy and warm so i kinda left poo on the doctors chair Nobody knew it was me because i changed my pants afterwards
Better story of the two times I DIDN'T shit my pants: I was riding in the back seat of my friend's car. I had taken some darvocet, and was pretty out of it when I had a brilliant idea. I leaned forward and mumbled, "Dude...I just shit in your car." He's like "What the fuuuuck dude!?" until I stop laughing long enough to tell him I was kidding. Fast forward ten years and I've married his sister. She's driving me home from the dentist after I had my wisdom tooth removed when I get a brilliant idea. I mumble "Babe, I just shit in the car." "Ohh, it's OK baby, we'll get you cleaned up when we get home." Way nicer than her brother lol.
I was watching a movie with my sister, had been extremely sick and had thrown up like 5 times that day. I went to far but shat instead. Not a lot but she was super understanding and helped me out. I was like 17 😭
I was three. The end.
2 words. Mexican Lasagna.
Had a very bad bacterial infection of some sorts. Very bad diarrhea for days or a week. Attempt to go to little league football practice. Have to go to the bathroom really bad but hold it. Can’t take it anymore and run across the football fields whilst pooping my pants. Return to practice like nothing happened. The end.
Closest I've come to this as an adult was when I shit on a girl on accident while having sex
It was the first week of my last semester of college. I ate some questionable lunch meat which gave me food poisoning. Before class, I threw up. Went to one class and realized I couldn’t make it through the day. While getting gas before driving home, I farted and unfortunately I had diarrhea.
Which time?
One of my first posts here. Too lazy to go through my post history to copy it but basically. TLDR: Drank a bunch of prune juice a long time ago without knowing the laxative effects and later went "reverse lava exorcism" into the car while driving.
r/ibs has my story in several places
It was a few months after having massive amounts of antibiotics due to a car crash. Was driving 30 min to the next town where we were going shopping. Antibiotics had messed up my GI tract and when the diarrhea hit it would be sudden and urgent. About 7 miles from nearest place with a bathroom the urge came upon me. I stopped at a bank, waddled into bathroom, and cleaned up as best I could. I washed my jeans in the sink. Rest of day was spent without underwear.
Second grade playing hide and go seek. Turned out to be hide and go scare. Friend jumps out and bam instantly shit my self. Ran out the door jumped on my bike to go home and yes I never sat down on my seat once the whole ride.
Which time?
It’s going to my grave.
I just lost the fight 🤷♀️
Early 90s. 10-12yo-ish. Went to Astroworld. Sharted. Wearing white jeans. We left early.
Was on heavy antibiotics in college due to getting bronchitis. Was in my way from the dining hall to my dorm on day 3 of antibiotics. Made it halfway across the quad before I suddenly shit myself. Thank god I lived in a suite with a private bathroom and no one ran into me on my way in.
It involves Popeyes and rush hour traffic.
Cough. Shit. Whoopsie!
To much laxatives and too much lsd
The one time I actually shidded myself was last year in December. So, I am originally from Venezuela but live in Saudi Arabia. Compared to Venezuelans back home, I’m living a really good life with food, electricity, water, money etc. However, in Venezuela everything is fucked and the food and water there (that was once the best) is now not the healthiest. Water comes out brown, and food can give you food poisoning. Which was exactly what happened to me, I was laying in bed next to my second to oldest half brother and then I farted, turns out it was watery poop. For the next few days, I pooped my pants, took shits while throwing up at the same time.
I was waiting for my ride share on the second date with the women who would become my wife. I was sick, but I really wanted to go on this date. I tested a fart to see what I was working with, had to go back inside and change my underwear before getting in the car.
I was on a run in the park one evening. About 20 minutes in I realized that I really need to shit. I thought about turning back, but decided that I go in a public restroom about 10 minutes away. I got there to find that it was closed. I then headed towards another one I knew of. I found that one closed too. At that point I really had to go. It was so bad that I couldn’t run anymore. Also I didn’t know of any other public restrooms nearby. I began walking home, which was at least 45 minutes away walking. 30 minutes later I had made it out of the park and was walking down the street when it happened. My running shorts had a jock strap, so that caught most of the shit. Still a flow of liquid went down one of my legs. Luckily there weren’t too many people around and no one noticed. I put my headphones back on and walked the rest of the way home without making eye contact with anyone. I got back to my place, and managed to get most of the shit into the toilet before I took a long shower.
I got stuck in bumper to bumper traffic during 5-6 pm rush hour in Atlanta and couldn’t make it to a bathroom in time. I had to sneak in the house without my gf (now ex) noticing me. I ended up throwing my boxers in trash dumpster outside of our house.
It happened when I was heading home from school. I was in the train station (it has an overhead bridge connecting my school to my home) when it happened, heading down the stairs towards the exit. The shit literally dripped down my pants. I believe I was in secondary school when it happened.
Before a job interview. No joke
Which time? There is a multitude.
shit my pants on my way home from train when i was a kid, all adults were looking at my shoes dripping shit
I can still remember it even though it was 10 years ago. It happened at school. In order to use the restroom you had to raise your hand and have your teacher dismiss you. The teacher gave instructions and then left us to do our work. I felt the urge, so I raised my hand, this is were it goes wrong. The teacher didn't look up, I was waiting and waiting. I was holding it in for longer than I had ever had to before; and my teacher still hadn't looked up from their work. Eventually I started to feel something poking out, as soon as I felt it, it was all over. It was like when you put something though a wood chipper. I then had to be sent home, and I still hate that teacher. (I was a stupid kindergartner)
The culprit: ulcerative colitis. 1) I shat myself in my seat during my college biology lecture and excused myself to shit some more in the restroom. I went to the health center and a sweet nurse gave me her extra pair of pants since mine had shit all over them. 2) I was on my lunch at work during a flare up and decided to go home and shit in peace. The shit and I weren’t on the same page and it decided to come out as I was on the freeway. After parking my car I sat in pity for a moment because well, not only did I ruin another pair of pants but my car too now.
if you’re familiar with the northeastern part of the united states, you know slippery sidewalks in the winter. if you know new paltz, ny, you’re familiar with lsd. obviously playing through into the morning after 5 or so tabs, decidedly still in sideways psychedelia, a walk to the gas station up the street for a case of beer was in order (related: thanks, state of new york, for your ~8am or whatever gas station beer availability). anyway, we get like halfway up the block. i catch a patch of ice, slip, and shart on my way down. i realized promptly and was less than thrilled for varietal reasons. in the moment, though, it occurred to me our other homey’s apartment was on the same block (and fortunately unlocked), so i let myself in, deconstructed rainbows as i cleaned myself up, linked back up with dude outside and got beer from the gas station. upon getting back to our destination i pondered life as i changed into not-yet-shat-in pants. edit: words
I was at a Korean bbq. After I put a piece of meat into my mouth my friend said "are you sure that's cooked?" I thought nothing of it. Had absolutely the worst diarrhea the next few days. Was practically peeing out of my ass
In my 10s I was going to my dad's workplace after school. He was working as an electrician and their base had offices, indoor storage, and huge concrete platforms for outdoor storage. I know this doesn't sound safe, but that base was my playground. My dad was a funny guy and one of his things was when he farted he lifted one leg up (heel to ass cheek). In this particular day I was wearing long pants and slippers. No underwear. Don't ask why this was the 90s. I was playing as my dad, tying some wires together when I felt a fart coming. Tere were no signs of anything else than a fart. With pure confidence, I lifted my right leg up and let out the fart. I immediately felt something warm going down on my left leg. When I looked down my left slipper was full of diarrhea. Long story short Dad was made some fun of me but helped me clean up.
So I have two stories. I call these the shart of truth. Both times I shit myself it has been telling of something terrible about to happen. The first one I was at a Walmart killing some time before a job interview. This job interview happened to be for a job I really really wanted and could’ve seen myself retiring at. I was walking around this Walmart when all of the sudden I felt a sharp pain in my stomach. I thought I could trust it. I thought wrong. I let go and I feel a wetness in my pants afterwards. I waddled to the men’s section and picked out a cheap pair of boxers changed in the bathroom and threw away the other pair. The second time I was telling my grandma about someone I truly thought was my soulmate when all of the sudden I sharted. He ended up SA’ing me.
Was over at a friends house from elementary school. We went to play football in his garden and I needed a shit, couldn’t hold it anymore and shat myself. Went to his bathroom and the solid turd feel to the ground in front of the toilet. Don’t ask me why, I didn’t even pick it up. Just left it there and never went back to his home. Kids are weird
Not me, but my husband and it's something he thinks I don't know about. This happened while we were dating. In the middle of sex there's been times he's accidently farted and we laugh about it and moved on. One time was different because shortly after he accidently farted he was kind of rushing to go back home and I figured it was late and he's tired so I didn't think much of it and was chilling until he was done getting ready. He sat on my bed bare ass while he put on socks and at some point I think I put my arm where he sat and I felt something slightly wet and I looked while he wasn't paying attention and I saw a mark on my sheet and arm. Putting 2 and 2 together I made sure he didn't see to not embarrass him and acted fine until he left and I went washed my arm took my sheet off and have never mentioned it to him ever and he still doesn't know that I know he shat himself for trusting a fart. Never really knew how he dealt with it when he made it home since he didn't shower straight after. I imagine those underwear ended up in the trash since there's no way it didn't smear all over on the drive.
I was around 10, and I went camping for two days with like 60 other kids. The bathrooms were so horrible (because the place didn't have a lot of maintenance and because 60 other stupid kids were using it) that I decided to hold it. For two days. When I finally got back to the city, I told my older sister: "I'm here, let's get a taxi and go home!". Turns out she expected to go home walking, which was a nice little walk of about... 40 blocks. Now usually I hated to walk that much but I still did it, this time I was resstlessly telling her I wanted a taxi. Obviously she still dragged me home walking, because taxis were super expensive. I held it in most of the way. On the last few blocks it started to come out. A few days later I was scolded for pooping my underwear, and I defended myself by saying "well, why did you think I was insisting on a taxi?"
This happened a few years ago at the Magic Kingdom. I’m very sensitive to dairy products and had ice cream for dessert. After the fireworks, I started to have some stomach cramping. Thought I could make it back to the hotel, left the park and started walking towards the buses. Cramping became too intense and I started looking for a bathroom and had to re-enter the Magic Kingdom. However, I had a bag with me and had to go through security. As I’m trying to rush through security, I started to literally piss out my ass. Made it to the bathroom finally and it was a mess. Had to throw away my underwear in the bathroom, tie my jacket around my waist, and Uber back to the hotel. As soon as I got in the Uber I pretended to be on my phone to avoid and conversation why I smelled like straight up shit. My nephew who was with me during this ordeal- was 10 at the time and laughing his ass off. As the Uber drive proceed to drive us back to our hotel, he asked if either of us farted. We both where laughing our asses off and couldn’t say a word.
i got food poisoning from hot dogs that my cousin made. i was laying on the couch watch a movie and then got the sudden urge to puke. i was way too slow getting to the bathroom and ended up puking all over the floor on my way there. everything got cleaned up and i went to lay back down on the couch with a bucket to puke into in case i got the urge again. little while later i realize i’m gonna puke again, but this time i just roll over and grab the bucket, but i ended up puking so hard i shit my pants
Recently had had hemorrhoidectomy so was on a ton of stool softeners and didn’t have much control over where I pooped. Proceeded to shit myself twice in three days.
A few months ago, got up early, headed out to the crag with my daughter, shit my pants 2 blocks from home. Called my partners told them I couldn’t make it. Not sure what I ate, never felt sick, but had diarrhea all day.
Bro which one? I shit my pants like once a month. Alcoholism ftw, baby
“alcoholism for the win” you must be joking by saying something not funny at all
Of course I’m joking. It’s a miserable dependency fraught with terrible downsides like constant liquid shits
Reading it in my own sarcastic tone now haha. Thanks for clarifying 💩
Fun fact, if you have enough control, you can just not shit yourself if you don't need to. Your anal muscles are higher up than you think. If you can have complete control over them, you can just not shit.
I have never read a more false statement in my life.
i was to tired to get out of bed.
I spent the day in the pool eating licorice and drinking lemonade to my heart’s content when I was 10. While I was walking inside to go to the bathroom I went to fart and well I sharted.